Chapters Ah, lunch time! Where I can eat a questionably colored, flavorless chicken sandwich, and some spoiled milk. I grabbed a tray and got in line behind some lady with pink, puffy hair and started making my way down the line. Just as I was about to get that really questionable chicken sandwich, the girl beside me put on some… ears? I think they were pony ears at least. She started to then start slightly tapping the counter with her tray, which kinda sounded like a light kick drum. I scratched my head, but didn’t question it.
I started going to school here about… a week ago and mostly kept to myself. I know that there was something called the Fall Formal, which was some big, fancy event everybody was talking about. It happened on a Saturday, which is cool, I guess. I didn’t pay attention to it though, since some girl named Sunset Shimmer pretty much had the thing in the bag. And it just sounded like some big school event that wouldn’t be fun to go to. I have absolutely no friends yet, since everybody stays in their own groups, so I stayed alone. It was just easier, and I wasn’t really ever good at making friends. So I usually poured all my time into my studies to make up for the crippling loneliness.
Also I only know about the Fall Formal because my headphones died during the announcements regarding it. Some other students were apparently responsible for reading the announcements out, so I’ve yet to hear the principal’s voice. I also haven’t seen either of them because I tried my damned best to avoid them.
No, I do not want to tell you how my day is going, Principal… fuck, I don’t even remember her name.
Boy do I know how to solve basic algebra though.
In the corner of a room, some speaker started playing a weird… instrumental that went along with the beat that the girl next to me was making with her lunch tray. A bass guitar started playing in the track as the girl beside me started skipping towards the center of the cafeteria to meet up with some cream-colored haired, cowboy hat kid while singing a song. “Hey! Hey! Everybody! We’ve got something to say!” I started bobbing my head, since these five girls weren’t too bad at putting on a musical number.
Well, so much for getting that shitty chicken sandwich. Oh well, my last two classes are study halls, so I might as well use this as an opportunity to sneak out of school. I snuck around the perimeter of the room as the pink haired girl, and some purple, curly haired kid opened the doors. Some girl with purple hair, wearing the same ears as the other five girls walked in. I’m assuming that’s the Twilight they were talking about. Whatever, it’s not my problem!
Wait, that was the girl that was running up to the school building on all fours earlier? Like some sort of horse or something?
Cool.
I snuck past who I thought was Sunset Shimmer, who was peeking into the cafeteria from one of the side entrances and she looked kinda angry. Well, I think Sunset might be a bit mentally insane, since she seemed to be dead set on getting that crown you get from the Fall Formal, and that’s the sort of individual I don’t want to be around. Didn’t Flash, some popular kid I keep hearing about, date her? Man, that must suck, to date somebody so mentally unstable. Well, they did break up after a week apparently, so maybe Flash isn’t too much of an idiot.
I snuck out of the building through the front door, which was surprisingly easy by the way, but I guess the principal and the vice principal knew of my scheduling and chose not to bother me. I mean, I’m doing really well in my classes even without needing a study hall to complete my homework, and I got two of them back to back at the end of the day. It’s really fun, since here I am, getting ready to loiter against the statue in front of school like I usually do. I haven’t been able to do it in the last two days, because of a group project I had to do on my own, but now I get to loiter until my brother comes and picks me up.
I was excited, because today was a Friday, and that meant quality brother bonding moments… as in me and my brother go out somewhere, get food, and then hang out until curfew. It’s one of my favorite times of the week, since my brother is usually really busy with school work, because he’s in some advanced digital arts school, so I rarely even get to see him when he isn’t busy with some big project for school.
Without a care in the world, I went to lean up against the statue and started screaming as it sucked me in and I blacked out.
Ugh… my head. Where the heck am I? My vision is really blurry and my head hurts. I rubbed my head with my… where are my fingers? I checked my hand and… it’s a hoof, with a few holes in it. My hooves aren’t hurting from the sizable gaps in them, but I have hooves! Where are my hands? I slowly sat up and I have four legs! What the heck is happening? How in the world do I go home? The room was completely dark, but from what little I could see, this looked like a storage closet of some sort, so maybe I can find somebody and ask them about going home.
I stumbled around the room, as I can barely walk, until I bumped into something. I made it to the wall! Now to just… find the light switch and get the heck out of this closet. It was kinda hard to do, since I didn’t have hands to constantly feel the wall with, so I rubbed my side up against the wall until I found something that felt like a light switch, so I used my head to try and turn the lights on and… wow this place is huge.
What kind of closet was this? It was bigger than mine and my brother’s bedrooms combined, and it seems a bit unfair that this closet is so damn big. In the center of the room was a mirror that I could use to get a good look at myself, but I don’t think I could really walk over there anymore. I have become very accustomed to this wall to make up for my lack of a center of balance. I braced myself and finally stopped leaning on the wall. With a new found confidence I started making my way over to the mirror with a lot more-
I tripped and fell over after three steps… today was going to be a long way.
The double door clicked and opened and… six, no eight ponies walked into the room, chatting to each other about something(probably long before they entered the storage closet. I don’t know what they were talking about) and all stopped as soon as their eyes landed on me. I stared at the horses while they stared back, but none of us made a move to really try and do anything. The colors of these horses were really weird. Also some of the looks these guys were giving me, not the most inviting thing in the world.
The first two I immediately noticed, because they were significantly taller than the other five, took my attention first. One of them was the tallest horse in the room, with a nice, clean white coat of fur. She(?) had wings, a horn, a rainbow colored mane that took physics, killed them, and threw them out the window. As the mane was flowing in a wind that didn’t even exist, since I highly doubted wind would be blowing in through the imaginary windows of the closet. The two things that stuck out were a crown and some sort of necklace-collar mashup which were made out of(what looked like) solid gold. So chances are, this one was a horse of great importance. Her face was… kinda hard to read, like her eyes were seething with anger, but her face was completely neutral.
The next one, who was the second tallest had a midnight blue coat, with a similar flowing mane to the first one, but with what looked like the night sky in it. She(?) also bore wings and a horn and a crown and collar. The crown and collar looked like they were made out of obsidian, which made them shine and sparkle like the night sky usually would out in the country. She was kinda pretty looking, if it weren’t for the glare she was giving me. Like, if looks could kill, I would be a pile of ashes right now.
The third tallest was pink, had wings and a horn, and had less flashy royal wear compared to the other two, but it was there. I think it was another female, actually all these horses looked like females to me, but I’m no horse expert. Her expression was probably the most scary looking, since she looked ready to bite my face off. I don’t know how effective flat, grass chewing teeth would be at tearing my face off, but I don’t want to know or find out.
Before I could get a look at the other six, the midnight blue one broke the silence. “What is a Changeling doing in here?” What is that? Is that some sort of clothing brand here? Apparently these guys wear shoes and jewelry, so if these guys wore clothes, I wouldn’t be surprised. Why am I glowing? Oh god why the heck am I floating? “Tell me Changeling, what is your queen planning? If you do not, I will-”
“Luna, you are not going to kill this Changeling. We know not of its motives, or if it is even related to the queen that invaded during Cadence’s wedding,” the white one said. “For now, let us put it in the dungeons and question it later. We have more pressing matters at hoof, such as waiting for Twilight to return. We could use her better judgment when dealing with these Changelings.” Uh… what?
“But sister, it will only try to escape.” A ring of some sort poofed out of nowhere and it started to levitate over to me with a faint, yellow glow. I am not liking where this is going. I really do not like where this is going at all. I could speak and try and spare myself, but if there is one thing I have learned from watching really terrible interrogation scenes, it’s that talking only gets you into trouble. So it’s best that I remain quiet until whoever this Twilight shows up.
The ring went on my head and I don’t know what it did, but I’ll roll with it. Whatever it takes for me to not become a bloody pulp on the wall, I will take and I will take it in full. So if these ponies want me to wear a weird ring, I will wear a weird ring. As long as I get home before curfew, my mom will kill me if I don’t. Well, she won’t kill me, but she’ll give me this sad look that really makes me rethink life.
This is going to kill her.
I was unceremoniously dropped on my butt(which kinda hurt a lot) in a prison cell and promptly left alone. Well, I wasn’t chained to anything, but I refuse to even attempt escaping. I can barely walk, so what can I do if one of those horses finds me again? I’m not an idiot, I can tell how strong on these horses are, they had larger biceps than the Terminator does, and they could probably pop my head off like it was nothing. Also these guys had some sort of telekinesis, so fleeing was a horrible idea, and probably impossible.
Plus I don’t think I'm going home any time soon. I stomped my hooves on the ground as soon as I realized what this meant. I’m livid now, because I’m missing out on the ‘guys night out’ that I was going to have tonight! All because of what? I was a ‘Changeling’ that was ‘dangerous’? Like I was found, face planted, and barely even capable of standing! How am I a threat?
Well, I might as well be productive and get used to my new body. Even if I’ll get sent home after all of this is said and done, I might as well be able to walk without tripping every five feet. So I stood up and took my first step and nearly fell over. I braced myself and took another step before toppling over. I growled at my failure- how did I do that? Aren’t I a horse? Well, I’ll wonder what I am when I’m let out of this prison cell.
I got back on my feet(or should I be saying hooves now?), and took another step. My legs weren’t shaky or anything, so I assumed that they could easily support my body weight, it just turns out that walking is really hard to do with four legs, no feet or big toes for support, and with a completely different anatomy from the human body that I was used to. I took another with a smile of glee before taking another slow step, and another!
I picked up the pace as I slowly began to break into a trot, remembering how dogs usually trotted and tried to mimic that. It failed miserably the first couple of tries, but I kept on going at it. I’m on the real life grind of relearning how to walk, that’s right, I’m a god! I can trot and run now, fear me, mortals… What am I going to do now? I suppose I can keep walking in circles, it was actually kinda fun to try new, stupid ways to walk now that I can remain on all four hooves!
I laughed in pure glee as I began to run circles in my cage. It was like I was seven and running through the potato farm’s fields again! I was alone, nobody to keep watch over me for some reason. So how I acted here on my lonesome. Wow, walking was actually getting easier! Man, I cannot wait to tell Sean when I get back home! We’ll have a laugh, he’ll show me some new video project he was making for school, and then I help him film it by being an actor in it.
I ran circles for five hours straight.
God damn, I am bored. Maybe I should make sure I’m actually awake now that I’m over the excitement of being able to walk again. So I licked my teeth and found out they were fangs! What the fuck am I? Some sort of xenomorph? Like whatever I am, then yeah, good on those horses for locking me up because I must be some sort of freak! Like, I’ve got hooves, a snake like tongue, and fangs!
I can’t wait to look in a mirror.
Well, I sunk my teeth into my hoof and flinched at the sharp feeling that elicited. Okay, so I now know that I have fangs, some sort of exoskeleton, and that I probably still have a long, long while before anybody bugs me. So I got bored and started chipping at the floor with my teeth, because I guess I’m just that bored today. I managed to chip a sizable chunk of the floor out and started rolling it back and forth really quickly until it eventually became a ball. Wow, whatever this stuff was wasn’t durable at all.
Oh well, now I got something to play with. Wow, me a highschool freshman, playing with a rocky ball that I made out of nothing. I pushed it back and forth between my hooves, gnawed on it, hugged it, and even used it as a pillow. I don’t know what else I did with it, it all became a blur… and now I’m really sleepy. How long has it been? My cell doesn’t… exactly have access to any windows for good reason.
I would’ve liked some sort of clock to tell me the time, though. I woulda had my phone, but my backpack kinda disappeared as soon as I entered the portal. Welp, I might as well go to sleep.
The next day… was pretty uneventful. Some guard came by, threw a loaf of bread at me, and gave me the stink eye. So I decided to just… remain quiet for the rest of the day while I slowly gnawed on the stale, old, really terrible bread. As an Irish man who has had some french bread, this is a major step down, but I am also a prisoner for… breathing?
Anyways, I don’t think these horses would hand me gourmet bread, but at least they were willing to feed me. I kinda wanna speak to that white horse again, mostly because she spared my life, and I wanna thank her for that. I mean, she coulda killed me, or let me get killed, but she intervened and stopped me from dying a very deadly death.
Yes I know, deadly death is repetitive, but I am really bored, so leave me alone.
I think I’m going insane. That has to be the only explanation for what is happening right now, and I want to- fuck it, I’m going to take a nap.
“Wake up, you fiend.” I blinked a couple times, sat up, and began rubbing my eyes as soon as a familiar voice rang in my ears. I lifted my head up from my hooves and my teeth clacked when my jaws shut. Damn, I must have way, way stronger jaws than before. My vision was still kinda blurry, since there was now light that my eyes needed to grow accustomed to.
“Well? Are you going to rise and face me head on? Or do I have to make you stand?” Oh, it’s the midnight blue… what’s the name for a pegasus and unicorn mix? I don’t know, but the horse from yesterday, the one that wanted to kill me, was glaring down upon me. I stood up, but kept my eyes squinted while my vision finally cleared up. “Oh? You dare have the audacity to glare at me?”
“No,” I said quietly. “It’s just… hard to see after being left in a dark cell for… however long it’s been.” The… unipeg looked shocked, like the fact that I could speak at all was a surprise in and of itself. Wow, whatever I was must’ve been considered low on the whole intelligence scale in this world. “Can I go home yet? My brother’s probably missing me.”
Luna(I think that’s her name) opened her mouth to speak, but the door opened again and I began to hear a couple of voices. Like a conversation that had started long before the door had been open for me to hear them. They were still kinda muffled, but I could make out what they were saying.
“So who is this pony you wanted me to meet?” Oh hey, that sounded like the girl from the cafeteria yesterday. Another fucking horse(she was like purple!) walked in alongside the white horse from yesterday, and said horse sounded exactly like that Twilight kid from earlier. Oh boy, her jaw was hanging, which is definitely a good sign! I am going to die. “How… Did a Changeling get into the Crystal Empire? Didn’t they get blasted away at my brother’s and Cadence’s wedding?”
“Hey… can I go home? I was supposed to be home by eleven or my mom’s gonna kill me. Heck, she’s probably worried sick about me,” I almost whispered. Fortunately for me my pleas didn’t go unnoticed, and all three horses’ attention snapped onto me. “Why did I even get locked up? I know I’m some sort of freak, but I haven’t done anything other than trip over myself when I got arrested.”
The purple one rubbed her chin. “Tell me, what do you remember before… being arrested?”
“Well, I left school early because I had two study halls for my last two class periods. I was gonna wait for my brother to pick me up so we could go hang out after school, and then woke up in a closet after leaning against the closet. I don’t even know what I look like right now, but I’m assuming I’m some foul, hideous creature judging from how I have fangs, a horse-like body, and an exoskeleton.”
“Uh… oh dear,” oh god. Why were all these three staring at me like this? Did I do something wrong? The purple one was… wearing that crown that everybody was going wild over back at home. To the point where six people sang a whole song about helping ‘Twilight’ win the crown. Oh hey a mirror-
Oh, that’s what I look like now. You know, I look even worse than what I imagined I would’ve looked like. Staring back at me was a horse-like face with bug eyes, fangs, and no mane. The eyes were big, blue and almost lifeless. As expected, my entire face was covered in a black exoskeleton. I had a horn of some type that was thinner than the horns of any of these horses, but mine was probably a bit sharper, Well, with a face that not even my mother could love, I can probably guess that I’m some sort of parasite.
“Oh that is disgusting,” I almost choked when I saw my tongue move as I spoke. Oh god, that, what the fuck am I? Is that what a Changeling looks like? “So, is there any way to… make me not an ugly bug horse, and then send me back home?”
“You… might be waiting a thirty moons.” The midnight blue one was looking… regretful.
“Wait. Why aren’t you guys immediately disbelieving my story?”
The purple one rubbed the back of her head as she gave a nervous laugh. “Let’s… just say that you might be stuck in Equestria for a while… what’s your name?”
“Dathi, but you can call me Nogla.”
“Nogla,, I believe you because I was in your world, I know where you’re from. And the way back to your world from here just closed last night.” I could feel my stomach drop as… I think this was Twilight, like the one that people were saying ‘let’s help Twilight win the crown’ Twilight. I sighed, did my best not to cry, and took a couple deep breaths. Okay, I am calm.
“Okay, how long is thirty moons?”
“About… two, two and half years,” the blue one said. My eyes widened at that... Jesus christ that’s almost all of highschool! I’m going to miss out on so much... God why do i have to get screwed over all the damn time?
The door to my cell swung open as the white one, if I remember correctly, is named Celestia, immediately rushed me. Instead of kicking my head the hell off my shoulders, she knelt beside me and laid a wing over my back. This… was oddly comforting. “It is not good to keep your frustrations bottled up, Nogla,” wow, she suddenly sounded like a mother comforting her child when they’re scared. That’s a nice change in tone; it’s very comforting.
It was very relaxing, actually. I rested my head on Celestia’s shoulder and began to relax a little. Maybe these next two years won’t be too unbearable if I have somebody to help keep me from feeling depressed. Oh fuck, oh my fucking god! When I get back, Sean will be off at college somewhere! I rolled over and immediately started crying into Celestia’s shoulder.
She didn’t even complain about me staining her fur with my tears.
“Princess Celestia, I… you do realize what Nogla being here implies, correct?” I lifted my head up to face the purple one. I assume Celestia had shook her head. “Nogla is still technically a child. I did some minor research, and ‘highschool’ as humans call ‘advanced school’ starts at fourteen at a minimum.”
“Well, we shall arrange where our friend can stay while he remains in Equestria. I wouldn’t mind keeping him during these next couple of years, and I’m sure Luna would love to keep a child around the castle again, as well. And it would be best if I were to keep Nogla due to… most ponies having a rather strong opinion about changelings.”
“W-what do y-you guys mean by that?” I was shaking from how much I cried.
“Well…”
Okay, yeah, that sounds like a legitimate reason to hate Changelings. First encounter with Changelings and it’s an invasion on your country’s capital city during a really big wedding. It was kind of intriguing to hear what my… ‘kind’ has done in the past, almost to the point where I almost forgot my current situation. Luckily, Celestia had continued to literally rub my back while I got over my emotional turmoil.
Luna, had eventually had enough, literally shoved her sister aside, and started to actually try and groom me to help me relax. Surprisingly, it did help out a lot, and was very… relaxing. By the time she was done, I was feeling so much better. I felt… kind of happy, surprisingly. Then I was offered to join these three princesses(as I had learnt over our little conversation) and their friends for dinner.
My stomach growled upon being asked.
Holy shit this place is really fancy. Like I know this is a castle and all, but I can’t help but marvel just how… sparkly and grand everything felt. Every little bit of the wall was spotless, there were guards every few intervals, and there were the occasional politician that walked by us as they moved from one meeting to another. Said politicians stared at me the whole time as they passed, so that’s pretty neat.
It made me keep my head low. I really, really do not enjoy the attention. Even if it’s positive attention, I simply do not want it. So you can imagine just how happy I feel when I can see how angry somebody was at me simply being around their princesses, but then knowing how they feel because that’s something I can do apparently.
“So… Changelings usually kidnap ponies to steal love, right?” I asked, just hoping to fill in the silence with some kind of noise.
“Indeed they do, why do you ask?”
“How hard would it be to just… have a Changeling get into a genuine relationship with a pony?”
“Well, if a pony were to completely disregard any prejudice against Changelings for what they have done, then I do believe it would be quite easy. Unfortunately, we do not know much about Changelings as they have been the stuff of legend and folklore for the last millennium,” Twilight’s smile got creepily huge. “But! We can learn about their physiology from you!”
“Oh uh… I dunno about that.”
“May I ask why?”
“Back on Earth, usually we humans get our information on animals in two ways. Either we watch them, or cut open a dead animal. I don’t know how you ponies do things, but I don’t… I don’t want to get bisected even if it would help you guys make huge advancements into what the heck I am. I love biology, but I don’t like being studied.” I scooted closer to Celestia, an attempt to get away from Twilight(she did apologize for frigthening me), without even realizing it until I accidentally bumped into her and made her trip and as we entered the… I think this is the dining hall at least.
“Oh god! I’m so sorry!” I rushed to Celestia’s side to try and help her up, which she almost accepted, if I weren’t immediately pinned to the ground.
“Get away from Princess Celestia, you freak!” My vision cleared up from the trauma and didn’t really like what I saw. Glaring down at me was a cyan pegasus with a rainbow mane. “How did you even get out of your cell-” A pale light engulfed the pegasus and she was lifted off of me. “H-hey! Princess Luna! Didn’t you see that bug try to suck your sister dry of love?”
“That Changeling was merely trying to help my sister up. There was nothing malicious at play, Ms. Rainbow.”
I sat up and groaned. “God, some of the football players at school would kill to tackle that hard,” I grumbled. My back hurts like hell, my head hurts a bit, and Jesus Christ, what does that horse eat? Like she was putting her full body weight on my chest and my ribs were still protesting from having so much weight being placed on them like that! I limped over to Celestia, who was still lying on the ground, but not in the ‘I tripped and can’t get up’ way and helped her stand up. “Sorry about tripping you, Celestia. I really wasn’t paying attention-” my mouth was slowly closed by a yellow aura.
“Don’t worry, Nogla. Accidents happen. What matters now, is that you know that you could walk underneath me and be have enough room to break into a trot. Granted, I will get tripped again, so do refrain from doing that again.”
“Wait, wait, wait. Why did we let that Changeling out? Is it mind controlling you three?” Rainbow asked.
“Can I control people? Like, mind control? That seems… fucked up on so many levels. Like what kind of sick fuck would do that? Well, aside from the one lady that mind controlled Twilight’s brother, but even then, that lady was kinda… off the door hinge if you ask me. Like feck, I don’t want to even imagine making somebody do something against their own will.”
“Well, theoretically you can do that, Nogla. The only evidence we have that Changelings can do that, is the one incident of the Changeling Queen controlling my brother.”
Oh god... I don’t want to mind control anybody.
So, introductions were made, and Princess Celestia and Luna had explained the whole situation. The whole time, I was allowed to sit under Luna’s wing. By that, I mean Luna made me sit here, and it was quite lovely. Rainbow Dash apologized for attempting to beat the hell out of me, and even got to say hi to these five… mares? That’s the right term, I think. As it turns out, these mares, along with Twilight Sparkle, were pretty much living embodiments of these artifacts called ‘the Elements of Harmony’ which is pretty neat.
Food was served, which was really just a salad… oh look a potato! Well, maybe this place wouldn’t be too bad to be stuck in. As an Irish man that likes mashed potatoes, I am very happy to see potatoes in my salad. Granted, I wish I had some ranch dressing for my salad, but when I asked, everybody looked at me like I just asked them what ‘seven X equals nine Y squared. So I just started munching away at my salad with a fork. Surprisingly, using a fork and knife with my hooves wasn’t too much more difficult than using actual hands with fingers to grab things with
“That isn’t the right fork,” Rarity, the Element of Generosity said.
“There’s like sixteen forks. What’s the problem if I use my soup fork instead of my salad fork? If it gets food in my mouth, then it does the job.”
“You know, I never got why some noble nearly a hundred years ago decided that we need a specific eating utensil for specific dishes,” Luna took a sip of her tea. “Though I don’t think I’ve heard of a soup fork before. Are utensils called different things in your world, Nogla?”
“Oh no, I once went to some fancy restaurant and was told that there was a fork spoon by one of the staff. It just seemed so stupid to me that it got stuck in my head ever since,” I stuck one of my many forks in the water. “Like how are you going to enjoy tomato soup if the liquid falls off your fork before you can stick the fork in your mouth? All that’s gonna do is get tomato soup all over the table and make a mess. Then you’ll be sad because that’s a good tomato soup you can’t eat unless you drink directly out of the bowl, which then also spills some soup.”
“I think you might like tomato soup,” Celestia chuckled.
“Oh I do, got some at that fancy restaurant and wasn’t given a spoon, but a fork to eat it with. I got kicked out for spilling too much soup on the table right afterwards.”
“But… they didn’t give you a spoon for your soup,” Twilight pointed out.
“Exactly. Rich people are dumb!” Everybody snorted.
The doors opened up and two ponies, the pink unipeg from yesterday, and a white unicorn walked in and it looked like they were arguing like a married couple until they spotted me. “Why is that Changeling out of the dungeons?”
“Hi, I’m Nogla. I’m a freak, I like potatoes, and tomato soup. I also fell out of that mirror you found me next to a couple days ago. Can I get your name?”
“Auntie Celestia, is… what that Changeling saying is true at all?”
“Of course. Apple Jack has yet to say anything about Nogla, the Changeling, lying and I believe him. Say hello to your new cousin, Cadence and Shining Armor, by the way, since myself and Luna will be Nogla’s caretakers until he can return home.”
Cadence and the Shining Armor expressions said it all! Those were priceless! Their pupils shrunk and their jaws were hanging! Cadence was the first to recover and trotted over to where I was, still under Luna’s wing. To make our meeting nice and pleasant, I took the biggest chunk of potato I could find in my salad, and swallowed it without chewing. Somehow, I didn’t choke. “So, your name is Nogla… sorry if I offended you in some way, and sorry about our meeting earlier being… not the most friendly encounter ever.”
“Oh no, I get it, I’m ugly as fuck, lass. I’m just surprised you’re actually willing to talk to me so quickly.” Cadence blinked at my language.
“Well, it would be nice to finally have a cousin that isn’t Prince Blueblood. Even if your language is a bit... crude.”
“Oh dear, I nearly forgot about him,” Celestia said while Luna began to gag.
“Sister, do tell me how that… fool is related to us again.”
The doors slammed open and some tall, white stallion with a really nice mane walked in. “Nogla, I would like to apologize on my nephew’s behalf before he opens his mouth.” Oh god no.
“What is that cretin doing in here, Auntie Celestia?” Who I assumed was Prince Blueblood asked while pointing a hoof at me. “It’s not even using the right fork for its salad, and it’s a Changeling! Those things are foul, foul creatures that should be executed on the spot!”
“My nephew, execution as a practice was outlawed as a punishment two centuries ago,” Celestia said.
“For Equestrian citizens-”
“Oi, can you shut the fuck up, mate? Feckin’ hell, nails on a chalkboard sound more pleasant than you. I will agree, I am pretty stupid looking, but your mane looks like something my school’s janitor would use to mop shit off of the bathroom floor with!” Everybody in the room gasped. Well, Rainbow snickered, and Luna just started smiling. Cadence giggled behind a wing.
“You best not swear in my presence, you beast! You have insulted me greatly with such remarks and profound language!”
“Quit using big words to make yourself seem smart, you fuckin’ dumbass. I get it, your mama didn’t hug you enough, and you want to become- fuck it, I’m just going to shut my mouth,” I rested my head on Luna’s shoulder. “And enjoy the rest of… it’s lunch right? I don’t know what time it is.”
“Are you going to back down, you coward? I bet I can beat you in the ring, you insolent fool!”
“So Luna, what does being the Princess of the Night imply?” Luna’s small smile quickly turned larger as she opened her mouth to speak.
“Well-”
“Hey! I’m right here, you idiot!” Prince Blueblood snatched me up in… I think that’s magic. Or it’s voodoo, which is still magic. “You are going to listen and listen well! You have insulted me, my family name, and the royal bloodline! So I challenge you to a duel!” I got slapped across the face by… I think that’s a glove, but it could also be a sock. “Meet me in the ring after dinner!”
“Man, I was really hoping to hear what Luna was going to say, but this weird be-” Blueblood punched me in the face and I yelped while holding my nose. “Yowch! That stung!” Surprisingly, my nose didn’t immediately break, and Blueblood was shaking his hoof. Man, exoskeletons are great! Why didn’t humans develop these things over the millions of years we’ve been around?” I was immediately swept up in a yellow glow while Luna started speaking, like not screaming, at a level that made my head hurt.
“Blueblood! You are to return to your room and not leave until the Princess Summit is over!” Luna opened the doors with her magic and actually threw Prince Blueblood out of the room. She then glanced at me. I guess Luna wanted to seem mature, because right after she said, “And what do you have to say for yourself? You played a hoof in instigating that!”
“I’m Irish, we just say what’s on our minds. And I quickly realized what I had to say was gonna make things worse, so I tried to end the conversation there. Ma’ told me that I should try to drop an argument if it wasn’t going to go anywhere. So I did that with Blueblood.”
Luna’s tone changed almost immediately. “Well, I shall commend you for at least attempting to disengage with my nephew. And I will admit, it was entertaining to see somepony actually insult my nephew to his face.”
“Are you hurt, Nogla?” Celestia asked while she began to inspect my nose.
“Nah, I think Prince Blueblood hurt himself more than he hurt me.” Celestia still planted a kiss on my nose. “Gah! No!” Everybody laughed as Celestia then continued to ‘kiss my boo boos away’.
(Prince Blueblood was in the castle’s infirmary, checking on his now cracked hoof)
Author's Note
So, for those reading this before it is fully published, thank you. Any and all feedback would be nice since for once, I am trying to make something coherent and decent.
also came back and made very, very minor edits.
Dinner was going great now that Prince Blueblood was gone. My nose no longer stung, and now I was being kept in Celestia’s grip. Everybody around me occasionally eyed the Sun Princess, like they weren’t used to seeing her be… like this. I was still cuddled up under Celestia’s wing, and didn’t feel like leaving it. It just felt nice and safe… and very warm, warmer than being snuggled up under Luna’s wing. Also to be fair to everyone here, I don’t think it’s everyday that your country's leader would so casually hug a parasite like me.
Everybody had finished their food, and now we were all just sipping on some tea. I requested something alcoholic, but was told that I was too young for beer, so I asked for root beer instead. As it turns out, root beer doesn’t exist in Equestria. Great, I can’t drink, and I can’t pretend like I’m drinking. As an Irishman, I take great offense to this- nah, Celestia and Luna were just trying to be responsible and not let their newly adopted son drink a margarita.
Even if I really wanted one and begged for a cup.
“Oh! We found this in the storage closet shortly after you were arrested, Nogla. I think it’s yours,” Luna said. Immediately afterward a couple of saddle bags were levitated over to me, and I raised an eyebrow. I flipped open one of the bags and found my math homework in it. Well, I don’t think I’ll be needing that any time soon, so I slipped it back into my bag. Well, I would have, if Celestia didn’t stop me. She quickly took out every math paper I had out of the folder and began to read over them.
“Hm,” Celestia hummed and nodded. “Nogla, your methodology is quite confusing,” oh no. “But all your answers appear to be correct, so I will not ask you to change it.” Celestia then blushed. “Oh dear! I didn't mean to invade your privacy so readily. I just noticed that you were looking at some school work, and I wanted to gauge where you were education-wise, so that I can make a curriculum.”
“It’s whatever, Celestia, there’s nothing deep in my saddle bags. Mostly just homework, books, a couple card games, and old work I had lying around because I never cleaned my…” I cocked my head slightly. “How did my backpack become a pair of saddle bags?”
“That… I’m not quite sure. Spike became a dog, I became a human, and my saddle bags became a backpack when I went through the portal. How it works is truly beyond me, but I hope to find some way to manipulate how it works. If I do, we can send you home quicker than we thought, and I would like to check in on the friends I made there.” Twilight somehow scratched her head without any fingers. Like it made the nails on skin noise and everything.
“Ah, so you planned that little musical number at lunch… I guess a couple days ago. Man, my sense of time is dead now.”
“I hope you liked it! It was a latch ditch effort to win my crown back.”
“Loved it, but I mostly used it as an excuse to sneak out of school and… you saw how that went.” Celestia began to give me a very disapproving look.
“Young Nogla, I do not approve of you leaving school early, you are supposed to stay until you are dismissed, even if you do not wish to stay on school grounds.”
“Listen, I had all my school work and homework done, and my last two classes weren’t even classes. They were study halls, where you sit around, do nothing, and maybe steal a school computer to use it for noneducational purposes.” I shrugged. “I just didn’t expect to end up in a magical pony land, get tossed into the dungeons, and then promptly lose any sense of time. Like we’re apparently eating dinner right now, and the sun is still at its… highest point in the sky.
“Well, it is nearly time for myself and Luna to make the transition to night. Care to watch us?” Celestia asked. “So hopefully from here, your sense of time wouldn’t be so dead. A fresh, clean slate for your sense of time to start anew!”
“Wait… you guys make the transition from day to night?” I pulled out an astrology book and flipped it open. “I thought… the sun and moon just moved on their own!”
“Your idea of how the solar system works may work in your world, but not in this one. Come, we will show you why mine and my sister’s titles aren't just for show, Nogla.” Luna lifted me up in her magic and settled me on her back.
We stepped out onto a balcony, which was attached to the dining room, and everybody had gathered around. I sat myself next to Celestia and kept my eyes on the sun as it remained at a high point; it was still noon. Then, out of nowhere, the sun quickly started to set in the west while Celestia’s horn glowed… wow, that is awesome! Celestia was standing all nice and regal-like as she lowered the sun. Granted, now I can’t get a nice, long view of a sunset or sunrise, but it was pretty cool to watch.
Luna flew into the air as her horn was glowing. In the east, the moon began to rise and quickly reach its climax. While Celestia didn’t seem to put on much of a show while lowering her celestial body, Luna made sure it was flashy. She slowly spun as she descended to the ground and landed on all four hooves like a cat… with hooves I guess. I think I liked Luna’s ritual of raising the moon over Celestia’s ritual of raising the sun. It was a full moon… so that meant a new month, right? I don’t know, day and night don’t work the way I thought they would.
“You couldn’t help but show off for an audience, could you, Lulu?”
“Sister, can you blame me for wanting to put on a performance? We have a pony that is experiencing this, with front row seats, for the first time! So I wanted to make it something to remember! Besides, you put on quite the show during the Summer Solstice, with you prancing around and twirling around like a ballet dancer!” Celestia blew a raspberry in response, which got an equally noble raspberry from Luna.
“Well… it sure was something. It’s really cool, but,” I pointed at the book I still had with me. “My understanding of the meaning of how the solar system is completely dead now. Well, at least when it comes to how the solar system works in this dimension in comparison to mine. In mine, the Earth spins around the Sun, and the Moon goes around the Earth. The spinning causes day and night, and sometimes eclipses.”
“Interesting… Perhaps you can share more of your knowledge of your dimension. I’m sure Twilight would love to learn more about it. And I would certainly enjoy learning something new here and there.” Celestia patted me on the back with a wing. “You… are doing alright, correct? You are missing out on two years and a half of your life that you would have shared with your family. You mentioned a brother earlier and… I know what it is like to not be able to see your sibling for quite a while.”
Both princesses cringed at that.
“Oh yeah, this sucks, but… there isn’t much I can do about it, can I? Either by some miracle that the portal opens up before the two and a half years are up, or somebody finds a way to make it open, I’m not seeing my home for a while. I wish I didn’t end up here, because I’m already missing Ma’ and Sean, but I can live knowing that I’ll see them again.”
“Well, if there is anything you need at all, feel free to ask myself or Luna, and we will assist you in any way that we can.”
We all walked back into the dining room and noticed a nice, tall stack of papers where Celestia’s plate was a moment ago. “Oh dear, this horrendous process,” Celestia led me over to the table and had me sit beside her. “Usually adoption papers would be much simpler than this, but I am adopting you, and you aren’t assigned to any orphanages right now. And… you can see how much more complex the adoption process gets when that happens.”
“Jesus, I can barely handle writing five paragraphs for an essay… and you gotta read all of that.”
“Worry not, I can be quite the skimmer, and Luna will be assisting since she is also your adopter. You can go chat with Cadence, if you’d like, while my sister and I take care of this. We will call for you when we have sorted the papers that you have to sign, so please do not get too far.” Cadence clapped in glee as she levitated me over to where she and Shining Armor were sitting. Well, I guess I should get used to being dragged off by ponies that can use magic, shouldn’t I?
“So Nogla, did you have a special somepony back in your world?” Cadence asked.
“Like… a crush? A girlfriend?”
“I suppose a girlfriend would be the closest thing to a special somepony here in Equestria.”
“Uh… nope. Not really. I kinda just started going to a new highschool and everybody just really, really didn’t want anything to do with me, so I stuck to myself. Probably has to do with the fact that everybody were broken down into their own factions,” I gestured at Twilight, who was now filling her friends in about her experience as a high schooler. “And I’ve got a feeling that Twilight had a helping in breaking said factions down, but I never got to witness it at all. Though… I did have a crush on this one girl with rainbow hair for a while, and gave up on it.”
“Well, if you ever find somepony that you really, really like, come to me, and I know I can teach you some ways to woo them!”
“But I’m fourteen. Not even five days ago, my biggest concern was getting an A on a test, which I promptly did after not studying at all.”
“Still, my offer still stands.”
I nodded and turned to Shining Armor, who hadn’t uttered a word the whole time. “So, are you Cadence’s husband or something? You two are wearing rings on your horns, and they kinda look like a couple of wedding rings. Also I can kinda guess, since Twilight told me about you while… telling me about what Changelings have done to you at your wedding.”
“Oh yeah, me and Cady are married, but I almost got married to a Changeling Queen instead! Sweet Celestia would have sucked!”
“I mean, would she suck as well as marrying a mosquito? I bet not! Dated one of those little bastards, and it was the most fun I had!”
Shining Armor and Cadence snorted. “You know, we should set you free in a party room full of nobles. They’ll have an aneurysm with that type of humor,” Shining Armor then wrapped a foreleg around me. “It feels weird, not to be rude, to be nice to a Changeling. Especially without it assaulting me, Cady, or anypony I love. I know… that you aren’t actually a Changeling, but it’s still kinda weird.”
“So you can imagine what it’s like for me, to go from a mammal, to an arthropod. I didn’t even know what I looked like until a couple of hours ago, and it kinda bugged me a little. Heck, I’m struggling to not just grab Cadence’s face and start petting her!” Cadence blinked a couple times before shrugging that little bit off. “It’s a human thing. We see cute, fluffy horse, and we want to pet it.”
“Oh...” Cadence was blushing at that.
“Oi, that’s my wife you’re flirting with!” Shining growled.
“Uh...”
“I’m just pulling your leg, Nogla. You probably didn’t know that’s a compliment to mares; they take the state of their fur very seriously. Don’t worry, Auntie Celly and Auntie Luna will probably teach you how to behave like a pony. And when you slip up, we can say it’s a ‘Changeling thing’!”
“Say, what’s with your accent? I don’t think I’ve heard one like it, even after meeting with several foreign leaders. I can’t imagine Auntie Celestia has either, if she didn’t immediately point out where you’re from,” Cadence asked.
“That’s my Irishness for ya, luckily my accent isn’t super thick, because if it were, it’d sound like I’m speaking another language. Hold on,” I reached into one of my saddlebags and pulled my phone. It took a moment to unlock the thing without my human face, or fingers to accurately punch in the passcode, but I managed it. I almost threw the thing because my hooves kept miss inputting an eight instead of a nine on the last digit.
“And no service. Dunno why I thought that being stuck in another dimension would make my phone work flawlessly, but whatever.” I sighed. “Can’t show you what a truly, truly thick Irish accent sounds like, but I think I can get close if I were to have a beer or my brother in the room!”
“What even is that?” Twilight asked, now highly curious about my device.
“Huh, I’m surprised you’ve never come across one of these while you were on Earth.”
“I was kind of busy trying to get my crown back to notice any of your world’s technology. Because if I didn’t, Sunset Shimmer would’ve turned everyone into slaves... She nearly did.” Wait, what? Well, I’m just going to ignore that because I don’t even want to know how a crown like that would work, or how a crown could help somebody do that.
Or why somebody would want to do that.
“Well, go ahead and yoink this then, because I don’t think I can get much use out of this thing now that I don’t have any means to really use it.” Twilight immediately took my phone and started messing with it, like a toddler would with a new toy.
“Oh? What’s this?” I trotted over to the purple alicorn and… oh no. She wasn’t looking at anything embarrassing, just being fascinated by the touch screen. Thank god for that. I tapped on Twilight’s shoulder “What?”
“I forgot about the photos I had on that phone. None of it's lewd or anything, I just forgot that I had them.” Aside from an album full of potatoes that I took for some reason.
“Well, for your privacy, I won’t look at them,” Twilight said before opening the camera. “Wow! I didn’t know you could make cameras this small!”
Eventually it was time for everybody to go to sleep, a guard, at Shining Armor’s request, showed me where I’d be sleeping for the night. Luckily, it wasn’t the prison cell again, but a rather nice, fancy guest bedroom. Like everything else in this castle, it was sparkly, spotless, and very, very nice. The bedroom had a huge balcony on it, which allowed for a nice breeze to pass into the room.
This wasn’t even the master suite, because that's where Cadence and Shining Armor were sleeping. It was just so… nice and I didn’t like it. With me being from the nice, quiet countryside of Ireland, where I didn’t have the nicest stuff, I didn't like how fancy and stuffy this room was. Like, I didn’t deserve such a nice bedroom, I don’t even belong here! I’m a fucking Changeling, and I was offered an actual bedroom instead of the dungeons tonight.
It almost brought a tear to my eye. These ponies were just so… nice.
I set my saddlebags next to the bed and used them as a stepping stool, since I doubt that I would know how to climb onto anything with hooves. The bed was incredibly soft, to the point that if I were to lay down, I might get lost in the mattress, so I flopped over and allowed myself to be swallowed in comfort. Well, I would have if I didn’t get stuck in the blanket.
The door clicked open and Luna poked her head in. “Nogla, are you doing alright?” She asked before fully stepping into the room. She let out a giggle when my legs got entangled in the blanket. “I see you’ve found your arch nemesis, the bedding.” She slowly walked forward while her cheeks puffed up, like she was trying her best to not laugh at my horrible predicament.
“Help! I’m being eaten alive!” I waved a hoof and an awful attempt at looking distressed. Luna had enough of watching me struggle apparently, since she walked over, and pulled the blanket off of me with her teeth. She hopped up on the bed and rested a wing on my back. “You know, it will be very nice to have a child of my own to watch and raise again, even if it is under… not the greatest of circumstances.”
“I’m a teenager though… there isn’t much to do in the ‘raising’ department.”
“I am aware, but I would be teaching you to act like a pony. For instance, did you know that it is very impolite to stare at a mare’s rear end, even if you are just checking her Cutie Mark out?”
“Well, that would make sense. It’s impolite to just stare at a girl’s butt back at home.”
“Ah, a similarity, I see.”
“Also, what do you… mean by again? Did you have a husband at some point?”
“No, but before my banishment to the moon, a story for another time, I always went out and adopted a child. Usually it would be one I find on the streets as they have nowhere to go; no orphanages would have taken them in, so I would. I often raise and care for them and keep in touch with them even when they are adults. I only haven’t done so in recent years, as I've been trying to readjust to modern day Equestria, which has taken a great deal of effort.
“On top of that, it seems that the political side of running a kingdom has gotten more complex in recent times, and requires mine, and Tia’s full attention. It wouldn’t be fair to any child that I might adopt if I have to ignore them for this year’s infrastructure budgets, or this week’s press conference, or even a surprise visit from a foreign leader, wouldn’t it?”
“I guess it wouldn’t. But that is a pretty cool thing you did. If we had a Princess Luna at home, so many orphanages would be out of business.” I tilted my head. “So, why are you here? Don’t you gotta sleep too?”
“I am usually nocturnal, but recently I have learnt how to magically enhance how much energy I get from sleeping. So now I can sleep for four hours and wake up as though I’ve had a proper day’s sleep. It’s a good thing that I’ve adapted as well, since last time I slept through a major event, Canterlot got invaded by a power hungry Queen and her Hive.”
The two of us continued to chat for a half an hour.
The door clicked open and both mine and Luna’s head snapped as it creaked open. Princess Celestia tiptoed in, like she had expected me to be asleep by now.
“Ah, it appears that we have had the same idea, sister.” Luna said with a snicker. “You wanted a break from signing those wretched adoption papers as well?”
“I did, and I didn't think adopting a child would be nearly as complex as a budget for the entire kingdom.”
Luna scoffed. “Now if we ran things like we did a thousand years ago, we could just proclaim that we own Nogla, and then he’s our child.”
“Can’t you guys do that anyways? You’re like… the highest authority in the country, right?” I asked.
“Indeed we are, but a lot of laws and bills have been passed to make sure we cannot just become dictators. This is one of them. Since, after reading up on adoption in light of your appearance. What I need to do is get you citizenship, and proof that you are a citizen of Equestria. Which isn’t too difficult given some… doing some work behind the scenes. Then the tedious process of signing several documents that say I know what I am doing, and signing another document that states that you are a prince, and that’s only scratching the surface. Luna, since she won’t be your primary adopter, won't have to do nearly as much paperwork, but it is quite a large amount.”
“What the… flying fuck? Is all that even necessary to bunk at the castle while I wait for the portal to open again?”
“No, but if I were to adopt you, it would keep my little ponies from trying to assault you. And I would like you to not be bodily harmed by the end of everyday, and I will prevent that from happening in any way that I can. Most wouldn’t be willing to even hurt you, most would run simply because you’re a Changeling, but somepony would be willing to try and hurt you. With this adoption, you’re less likely to get hurt while out and about.
“And Lulu might have convinced me to keep you during dinner. She thought it was adorable that you tried so hard to help me get up after tripping me over.”
“I felt bad!” I felt heat rising in my cheeks… aren’t I a bug? How in the world?
“I know, Nogla. It was really touching that you were so concerned even if I am significantly more durable than the average pony. I wanted to make sure you were alright, since I tripped on you, but you did look quite cute when your eyes turned into a softer shade of blue when you were concerned over my well being. And you were so insistent on making sure I was okay.”
“W-well I uh…”
“Sister, you are embarrassing him.” Luna snickered
“I suppose...” Celestia grinned and nuzzled me. “now if you would excuse us, I would like to keep watch over our child while he sleeps.”
“Sister, you will be fast asleep as well. Just admit that you’ve also taken a quick liking to Nogla.”
“Fine, I will admit that Nogla is quite pleasant to have around.”
“Uh… I’m right here, you know.” I was immediately snatched up in yellow magic and laid beside Celestia. Okay, Celly blankets are the best blankets at is seems. It also helped that Celestia was slightly warmer than Luna was, which felt really nice on my carapace. I rested my head on Celestia’s shoulder and let out a sigh in contempt. “G’night, Celly.”
“Goodnight, Nogla.”
(Celesttia’s POV)
“Aw, he has a nickname for you already, sister.” I giggled before laying my head over my changeling. “So, what will we do when we eventually have to send Nogla back home?”
“We will allow him to make a choice, if he chooses to stay or go home, then we shall respect his decision. Of course, two and a half years is quite a lot of time for those who don’t have prolonged lifespans like you and I, Lulu. So Nogla may choose to stay with us, but if not, then I will happily cherish the memories he leaves in his absence.”
“As will I, I still remember the names of every colt and filly I've adopted in the past. I believe I can remember one more, and I will happily send Nogla back home.” I let out a sigh. “Sister, tell me what is wrong, I know something is ’up’ as the youngsters say nowadays.” She leered at me while she read my face, hoping to find something out from just my eyes alone.
“I… feel responsible for trapping Nogla here. Somehow, Nogla’s close proximity to the portal didn’t make me immediately think ‘perhaps he was from this other dimension’. Instead, I had him locked up in a dungeon for a whole day and half, when I could’ve just sent him back home and avoided this whole mess. Nogla is stuck here because of me.”
“Sister, do not think that way. Does Nogla blame you for locking him up?”
“No, he doesn’t, but-“
“No buts, sister. Nogla doesn’t blame you and even understands why he got put in the dungeons. In fact, he seems to like you a lot,” Luna pointed to the slumbering, adolescent Changeling under my left wing. “If anything, I’d say you’re his favorite out of the two of us, even if he himself does not know it. So simply do not blame yourself, like you did over my banishment. You are not at fault here, and you weren’t at fault then.”
Luna hopped down from the bed as gently as she could, walked up to the door, and looked back before exiting. “Sleep well, sister. Don’t worry, I will keep watch over yours and Nogla’s dreams to make sure neither of you have nightmares over this.” I nodded and closed my eyes after Luna closed the doors and turned off the lights.
(Nogla’s POV)
Come on, I need to catch the flying elephant! I blinked a couple times when the flying elephant was captured in a blue light. We were in the middle of Dublin and there was an… elephant. What the heck did I… “What… a strange dream. I don’t think I’ve seen anypony dreaming about flying elephants that use their ears to fly, once in my time.” Luna came floating down and stood in front of me.
“How in the heck… is this a dream?”
Luna giggled before walking up to me and bonking me on the nose. “It is a dream, Nogla. I am very much real, this just comes with me being the Princess of the Night. I watch over my subjects’ dreams. I’m here, mostly here to make sure you’re not having nightmares about being stuck in Equestria… so if you are doing alright,” I then grabbed Luna. “Nogla, you can’t keep me here by doing that,” and now Luna was behind me.
“But I can ask if you can stay inside my dream.”
“Nogla, you’re a bit young to be dreaming about dating me, you know.”
“It’d be even weirder given that you’re adopting me!”
“Exactly, so if you do not mind, I must check on my sister’s dreams. She is… not taking your entrapment in Equestria very well.”
“Why? She didn’t make that stupidly short time frame that the portal is open for. And she didn’t know any better at the time, and just assumed I was a monster, which I am.”
“She… blames herself. You were very close to the portal when we had found you, and not one pony present thought that you might possibly be from the world behind the portal. Then Celestia made the decision to keep you until Twilight returned, which happened to be exactly when the portal had closed. If anything, it wasn’t her fault alone, but everypony present for not making the correlation. All of us were blinded by our… strong feelings towards Changelings.”
“And I don’t even blame you guys. I found out that I have fucking fangs while having a somewhat equine-like build, along with holes in my legs. So I immediately assumed I was some kinda freak, and I was right.”
“You’re an adorable freak. I never thought I would find a adolescent Changeling to be adorable, let alone any Changeling, but here I am.”
“I’m some ugly, cute, freak, ain’t I?” I laughed. “Seriously though, losing two years that I coulda spent with my brother before he goes to college sucks. I’m… still coming to terms with that, but I don’t blame anybody. I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Heck, if I didn’t come at the time I did, I would’ve eventually stuck my stupid butt back through the portal, but then you guys found me after I tripped on myself. Really though, I’m fine, and I know I’ll get through this whole mess head on. Even if I’m not excited about going through it at all.”
“You… Well, I suppose it would make sense if you had to hide any mental strife, that you still may have, about being trapped here, but I would not have noticed if I wasn’t in your mind, nor if you hadn’t told me just now.”
“Well, I just don’t want to ‘bug’ anybody with my problems. Yeah, I’ve got problems at hand, but even a problem like this is temporary, even if what happens because of said problem has some… major consequences.”
Luna stared at me with half lidded eyes. “Nogla, that is an unhealthy way of dealing with your problems. I would know from experience. Even the smallest violin needs somebody to listen to it, Nogla. If you feel comfortable enough to talk about it, myself or Celestia will be here for you, and you will have access to a therapist should you need it. But please, please do not bottle up your emotions. The last time I kept my emotional turmoil to myself, I waged war upon my own sister, and was banished to the moon for a millennium. Learn from my mistakes, Nogla.”
“Alright, I’ll keep that stuff in mind.” I trotted over and hugged Luna. “Thank you for… accepting me so warmingly.”
“It’s no feather pulled from my wings; I won’t turn a child down if they need a place to stay.” Luna began to walk away after leaving my dreamscape embrace. “I will return after my duties. I will be visiting my sister in her dreams shortly, so do you have anything you’d like to say to her?”
“Sorry about crying on her for five minutes straight?” I chuckled. “But also thank her for taking me in.”
Luna smirked. “I will relay your message to Tia. Sleep well Nogla.”
I lifted my head, to find my head not resting on Celestia’s shoulder, but on a pillow. I’m guessing that Celly got up to resume whatever princesses do in the morning. Well, I can’t blame her for needing to go and do whatever she has to do, even if I wish she did wait for me to wake up. I stretched and rolled out of bed… only to ceremoniously collapse on the ground with a groan. Okay, not a good start to the day at all, but broken ribs are trending right now, so I’m glad I didn’t skip out on that trend.
Seriously, this exoskeleton is great, because I barely even felt the fall. If there is one thing I miss, it’ll probably be this. I love the new pain tolerance that comes with it. Sure, it’ll suck if it shatters, or cracks and pierces the flesh underneath it, but it’s really cool. Like when Blueblood hit me, it should’ve broken my nose, but it didn’t even come close even if my nose did sting a little bit afterwards.
I trotted over to the bathroom and grabbed a toothbrush, and set it down to do my business first. It took a while, but I found out how to use the toilet. I’ll spare the details, but it was actually a lot simpler than I thought it was going to be. There was a bath that I could use, but I don’t think a bath would help given that most of my body isn’t even covered in skin anymore. So I decided to skip that bit of my routine and get to brushing my teeth.
Before I did that though, I got a better look at myself in the mirror, which was a more full body mirror than just the hand mirror that Twilight used to give me a look at my face. Huh, I… have wings, bug like wings, but wings. Maybe I can learn how to fly! I rubbed my hooves in anticipation for my eventual flying lessons if I’m ever given any to begin with. Oh I can’t wait to fly! It won’t be weird since I was born as something without wings, right?
It’ll suck if I’m afraid of heights.
I began to brush my teeth shortly after being amazed at how I can still hold stuff without fingers and spat out the toothpaste. One quick rinse and I was good to go… until I looked in the mirror again and… holy shit, my mouth is full of a bunch of fangs, with a couple flat teeth here or there, but there were more sharp teeth than what I would’ve had as a human. Jesus fucking christ, what the hell is wrong with me?
Well, I am a Changeling, so that’s probably it.
I set the toothbrush on the sink and it fell, nearly landing in the toilet, and I shrieked as it hopped closer and closer to the bowl. “No I am not fishing that out!” I almost shouted as… the toothbrush was engulfed in a green… aura. It was a sick green. It then floated up to my face, and I turned to face the mirror again. My horn was glowing the same, sickly green color as the aura that was holding the toothbrush. I set the toothbrush on the sink and then it started glowing again. I began to giggle like an idiot as I kept doing my cool little trick…
I can use magic! I gotta show… I can’t show Sean anymore. I sighed and trotted out of the bathroom, where Luna was frantically looking around my room.
“Nogla! I heard you scream… is everything alright?”
“I almost dropped my toothbrush in the toilet.” Luna cringed at that. “But, I saved it, watch!” I grabbed a pillow in my magic, and it floated on over to me. I headbutted it before putting it back on the bed where it belongs. Luna grinned.
“I was wondering how long it would take you to figure out how to use magic. Who knew that the fear of having to fish something out of a toilet would trigger the First Spark.”
“First… spark?”
“It’s a term used for young unicorns. It’s when they begin to use magic for the first time, and it usually triggers off of… something. Anything really, it doesn’t matter what, since all that matters is that it awakens the magical capabilities within young unicorns, or in your case, a Changeling that’s never had magic before.”
“Can we show Celestia?”
Luna smirked. “I think Celestia would love that.”
After being led into the dining hall, Luna went off to perform some ‘other duties’ after stealing a pineapple from the fruit bowl. Celestia, Cadence, and Shining Armor weren’t present, as they were likely off doing some other important stuff that doesn’t involve the stupid waste of oxygen. I waved at the Elements of Harmony, sat down and quietly began to eat what was in front of me. It sounded like the ladies around me were talking about some fun story from their time in a town called ‘Ponyville’.
I was halfway through eating an egg when the doors opened up, and… Blueblood entered the room. Well, this morning was going to suck. The ‘prince’ took a seat at the table and started to complain about how the eggs weren’t scrambled, how the water didn’t have enough ice in it, and overall, was being loud and unpleasant. The entire room was quiet save for Blueblood, and thank god he hasn’t noticed me yet.
Jesus, I may not be a Cristian, but thank you for making me unnoticeable today.
“Who let that Changeling back in here?” Never fucking mind, I’m atheists again. I had faith in you, Jesus for one fleeting moment and you soiled it! Welp, back to not believing in God… Okay, just don’t respond, and don’t speak. Ignore the Irish urge to call the man a shithead. I ate the last of my eggs, took a sip of water, and kept quiet. “Oh? Not so talkative now that you’re in the presence of a true Prince!” Blueblood shouted while waving around a hoof that was wrapped up in bandages. Blueblood then chucked one of his eggs at me, which almost hit me in the head.
Well, it would have if Twilight didn’t stop the thing mid air with her magic. It was pretty damn impressive. “Blueblood, throwing food at Nogla isn’t going to make him go away. Nor is it very mature of you,” Twilight glared at the ‘prince’ while I ate the egg that was still floating in front of me. A chef had then immediately rushed up to the table with a plate covered in eggs.
“Seconds, sir?”
“Uh… are you sure?”
“I’ve seen just how quickly you ate your first batch of eggs, and figured you’d like some more. Or perhaps some pancakes would be better?”
“Why are you even offering that thing more food, servant?” Blueblood growled.
The chef scoffed. “All I see is a hungry patron that might need and enjoy a healthy helping of seconds. On top of that, Princess Cadence and Prince Armor has made it abundantly clear to treat this specific Changeling like I would any guest of the Crystal Empire! Well, she made it clear to everypony else, I would’ve offered seconds to Mr. Nogla even if he was an aggravating prince that complains about my cooking.” The chef’s glare could kill a man if it got any more intense.
Blueblood, you’re a cunt.
“Uh… I’ll take some more eggs if you don’t mind. Also, one request please.” The chef raised an eyebrow after scooping some eggs and leaving them on my plate. “Please don’t refer to me as ‘Mister’, ‘sir’, or anything fancy; just Nogla will do. I’m just some stupid kid that’s probably way younger than you are. Also, thanks for the food, these are the best eggs I’ve had in a while… well, nothing really beats Ma’s cooking though.”
“Thank you for the compliment, and I understand where you’re coming from, Nogla.” Hey, he took heed to my request. I like this guy. “Sometimes a home cooked meal is simply better than a gourmet meal. I find myself missing Mom’s mashed potatoes from time to time,” the chef said.
“Get out, servant!”
“Hey now, I’m having a conversation with the chef. And… don’t I technically outrank you since Luna and Celestia are adopting me?”
“Well, you aren’t adopted yet, but you would be the second most influential pony in Equestria. Princess Luna and Princess Celestia are tied for first place in that department. Since Blueblood isn’t actually a prince.” Twilight answered.
“So… can I just…” I looked at the chef. “If you aren’t busy, have a seat and enjoy breakfast with us. I bet it gets hot in that kitchen, doesn't it?” Twilight nodded, so I assume I was allowed to make that call. If not, well, I’ll make sure the chef doesn’t get punished.
“Well… I would like to get to experimenting with a couple of recipes I’ve read up on, but I could use a break.” The chef took a seat next to me and stretched. Only now could I see the bags under his eyes.
“I can tell you about a mashed potato recipe that I think everybody will like.” The chef grinned like an idiot and quickly whipped up a notepad. Without a further ado, I began to retell the family recipe I knew while Blueblood cursed under his breath. I wanna get this guy’s name, I wanna get him a raise if I can do that.
Scratch that, I’mma make sure this guy gets a raise, he’s brought out a bowl of mash potatoes! And they’re delicious!
“And so I said ‘the queen can go fuck herself!’” I said while my accent thickened during the little story I told.
“You, you told your Queen to ‘go fuck herself’ and lived to tell the tale?” Chef Ian asked as he took a sip of orange juice.
“Yeah, I even called her a slut, like bitch, why are you trying to steal another woman’s hubby and whatnot!” Chef Brutual Moose wiped a tear from his eyes as he regained his breath. Twilight and her friends looked to be in shock, that somebody my age, would be so vulgar. Truly these ponies have not seen how we Irish do things. Literally anything and everything in the English dictionary can and will be used as a swear word or insult back at home.
Well, Rainbow Dash was also laughing along, she clearly liked my crude humor.
Luckily, the rest of breakfast was going over smoothly after Twilight put a what was basically a ’shut the fuck up’ spell on Blueblood(even if the name of the spell was a lot more kid friendly). The dickhead left promptly after the spell was casted. I got to make friends with Chef Ian Brutual Moose, yes that was his full name(no, he sadly wasn’t a moose), but unfortunately he had to get back to work no matter how badly I wanted him to stick around.
“See ya, Ian, don’t burn the kitchen down!” The chef chuckled and waved before disappearing behind the kitchen doors. These ponies are really easy to talk to, like way easier than anybody back at home… The only person I could talk to like that was probably my brother.
“So Nogla, how are you doing?” Twilight asked.
“I’m alright, why're you asking?”
“Well, I figured that Blueblood’s treatment of you wouldn’t leave you feeling very good.”
“Ah, yeah no, I’m still feeling good about myself.” I didn't hold eye contact with Twilight when I answered. What Blueblood said did hurt, but Chef Ian did help out a lot in leaving me in a good mood. Apple Jack eyed me for a split second, before leaving me alone... She didn’t catch my fib, did she?
I don’t wanna bug anybody with my problems... god dammit.
So after breakfast, I decided to get up and wander around the castle for a bit. There wasn’t anything particular I wanted to find, and I don’t think I was staying in the Crystal Empire throughout the two years I’ll be stuck here, but I just wanted to wander around, talk to a couple guards(which I didn’t. They didn’t like me), and didn’t really even get to look in every room. Every other room was a meeting room that I couldn’t get into no matter how hard I tried. Eventually however, there was a room I could go into, but two guards were standing beside it.
“Changeling, we cannot allow you to go inside this room,” one of the guards said, both guards crossed their spears in an X in an attempt to keep me out. And… Now I was being given the stink eye.
“Is there something important in there, like something that would burn the place to the ground if I, a Changeling, looked inside that room?”
“Yes sir, this room is where the Crystal Heart is located. We do not need you draining it dry of all the love it produces.” Some random guy walked up, he looked like a tourist with his Hawaiian shit and bulky camera. The tourist was allowed to walk past the guards without any struggles; he wasn’t even stopped. The tourist did take the time to give me a long look as he walked past me. “And anypony is allowed to enter… you aren’t a pony, Changeling,” the same guard growled. “So turn around and go in the opposite direction or else we’ll use force. Be lucky we haven’t arrested you yet, bug.”
“Wow, I can feel the love radiating off of you two tonight. Take me to dinner first before you threaten me at least,” I rolled my eyes, before turning around to go in ‘the opposite direction’ as the guard put it. Boy oh boy, I do love being treated like not a person, especially when I get treated like a monster for wanting to look at… what the fuck was a Crystal Heart? That sounds like some sort of candy actually, we should probably stop nitwits from going in and eating it… if it’s that important.
Why did Crystal City High name an event after some candy? And why wasn’t that candy Skittles?
After some more mindless wandering, I found a… I think it was a bench. It was kinda cushy, but it looked like a bench made for ponies and pony shaped objects.
Aside from the one incident with the guards, my wandering went over pretty smoothly. I had got inside approximately zero rooms because I couldn’t get in for one reason or another. And the one room that I could get in… well, I got treated like I wasn’t a person and told to go fuck myself in a very professional way. God, two more years of this sort of treatment… Well, Celestia, Luna, Cadence and her husband, and the Elements of Harmony were treating me nicely but…
I dunno, if this is a sign of how I’m going to be treated by anybody that isn’t that select group of people, then I don’t know what to say. Hell, I don’t even know if I would want to leave my room with that sort of treatment. I dragged my hooves down my cheeks before letting myself fall off the bench. I stared at the window for a moment, which was thick enough to not let a lot of light in, but reflective enough to see my own reflection.
That one moment was all I needed to see what I was.
Bug eyes, an equine head, and fangs. It stared back at me… is that even me or something else? Well, it moved and I moved so it was me. I hate that stupid face. Sure, I had wings and telekinesis, both of which seemed very fun(and useful) to mess with, but what was the point of it? It wasn’t anything unique and I’m certain that pegasi and unicorns could make use of their wings and magical horns better than I can. Heck, I can’t even fucking fly! I’m just a nerfed, useless unicorn!
Hell, Celestia and Luna have both wings and horns and could raise and lower celestial bodies… while I can barely even lift a pillow.
Bug eyes, cold, lifeless bug eyes shined as I felt tears try to work their way out of my eyes. I snarled at myself, which chased off some unsuspecting pony that was walking by(and me), and wiped my eyes with my hoof. I dragged my hooves on the carpet as I began to walk back to my room.
And then I got lost, because of course I would.
“Hey, can you point towards where the guest rooms are?” I asked a random guard, a unicorn, who greeted me with an eager smile.
“Of course! It’s down the hall, take a left, and if you struggle to tell which room is which, your name should be on a sign outside your room’s door! Do you need me to walk with you, or do you think you can make it yourself? I’ve even got maps for anypony unfamiliar with the layout of the castle if you want one.” This… this brought a small smile to my face. This guy was so cheerful, so eager to lend a hand even if I wasn’t one of the ‘ponies’ he was supposed to be serving.
“I think I can make it from here, thank you…” I paused, hoping for a name.
“Sergeant Map Marker, sir! If you still need help, just let me know, and I’ll lead you to your room!” I nodded, gave the guard a quick hug, and began to walk towards where the guard had pointed out. The guy might not know what he had just done, but he made me feel just a little bit happier after my earlier experience with those guards. I looked back and the guard had a small smile on his face, and even a slight blush… he probably wasn’t expecting that, like I wasn’t expecting to actually be helped out by a guard.
Thank you, Sergeant, you’re a good man… pony? I think the term ‘guy’ would work here.
Finding my room wasn’t hard at all, as said by the guard, after I took the turn, there were a bunch of rooms. Luna and Celestia had their rooms marked with their… Cutie Marks? I think that’s what ponies call the symbols on their butts. Apparently those represented something a pony was really good at, so maybe, just maybe I became a Changeling because I’m not good at anything. That, or some divine being hated me for some reason, and wanted me to suffer.
I opened my door and wandered over to my backpack. I… really just don’t want to leave this room. Sure, I will have to since Celestia and Luna live in Canterlot, the capital, but then I’ll just stay in whatever room I’m given. So instead I’m going to find something nice, boring, and monotonous to do while I wait for lunch, or for the day to end.
Eventually I managed to dig out a book that I checked out of the school library and… great, even in another universe, I managed to screw my family over. The bill for this book’s gonna fall on my family now that I’m considered ‘missing’ and quite possibly dead. I hit myself in the head a couple times. Nogla, stop, stop being so fucking negative. You’ve got yourself a new book to read and it looked interesting, hence why you have it right now. You like reading, Nogla, just read the god damn book and enjoy yourself.
The book was titled ‘Guardians of Ga’hool’ and it had a pretty simple cover; just an owl. So clearly this book would be interesting… the world around me began to disappear as I was taken somewhere new, far, far away from here.
Okay, what the actual fuck is this book? It's for children, right? Apparently it’s made for eight year olds, and a dude gets burnt alive! Bro, how is this for children… I kinda like it. It’s certainly no ‘Watership Down’, but it’s not too shabby. I set the book down just in time for somebody to knock on my door.
“Nogla, are you in there?” Oh, it was Celestia. “I would like to speak with you.”
“Aight, door’s unlocked if you wanna come in.” The door opened up and Celestia was standing at the door of course… Why did she look disappointed? Did I accidentally get Ian Bruutal Moose fired? I hope not, he’s a good guy. My adopter walked into the room, along with Princess Luna, and Blueblood… Luna looked even more disappointed than Celestia did. Why was Blueblood wearing a bandage on his nose?
“Nogla, did you punch Prince Blueblood in the face?” Celestia asked. “Blueblood has told me that the two of you had another disagreement and… you hit him on the nose. Luna and I have already checked, and yes, there is a bruise.” Blueblood had a smug little look on his face while he sat behind his aunts… you little shit.
The fucker planned this. How badly do you hate me, Blueblood?
“Well? Are you going to answer my sister’s question?” Luna asked.
You know, it kinda hurts that these two don’t trust me enough to not physically assault their nephew, but whatever. It made some sense, but it still hurt. “Yeah sure, I already know I’d get in trouble for hitting my new cousin in the face, so I definitely went and made sure to assault his nose in the most brutal ways possible.” Sarcasm had long since oozed its way into my voice. “So yes, I did in fact, assault Blueblood in front of six other people during breakfast-“
Luna snatched me up in her magic. “Do not speak to me with that tone, mister.” Great, so much for liking you and Celly super quickly. I was dropped on my ass and I quickly scampered away from Luna, and my body went on full auto pilot. By that, my body moved on what felt like… instinct, and I ended up stuffing myself under the bed. Woohoo! So much for having these two’s support!
Okay, in all fairness, I probably shouldn’t have been that sarcastic, especially that kind of sarcasm where it wasn’t funny, nor should I have started being a smartass, but still. This was a major step down from last night and this morning, where I was treated well. “I shall go ask the Elements for their perspectives at breakfast. Come now, Blueblood, we shall get more answers.” With that, the dickhead’s face dropped into slight fear as Luna dragged him out of the room.
“Nogla?” Celestia was now on her belly, peeking at me while I remained hidden under the bed. “Can you come out, please?”
“So you can keep giving me that disappointed look? Because it looked like you and Luna were going to trust Blueblood over me. I mean, I kinda get it, but c’mon! Feck, Luna is out getting more information because she’d think I’d hit that stupid guy in the face!” I closed my eyes and rolled so I was facing away from Celestia. “And I’m probably gonna get dragged out and scolded for talking to Luna, and now you, with ‘that tone’, aren’t you?” Well, I slid across the carpet, so I was right at least.
Fun, very fun.
“Nogla, can you please just look at me?” Celestia sounded… kinda sad. Welp, can’t wait to find out that she is still disappointed- I made the mistake of opening my eyes and taking a look at the lady before me. “I… am sorry if my sister and I came off… as a bit cold during that engagement. We were interrupted and dragged away from a very important meeting because of this situation, and myself and Luna are a tiny bit tired of our nephew’s antics.”
“And lemme guess, I Shouldn't have talked to Luna the way I did?”
The door slammed open and Luna came and hugged me as hard as she could. “I am so sorry for speaking to you like that! I love my nephew, but he is incredibly irritating at best. He wouldn’t shut his mouth about how you assaulted him during breakfast at an important meeting, that he interrupted, between Tia, myself, and Cadence until we had decided to see what he was going on about!”
I blinked a couple times. What a change in tone, Luna. “I hope I did not drop you too hard, did I? I was trying my best to not throw you at the wall, because I… have a hard time controlling myself when I’m irritated.” I rested my head on Luna’s shoulder and let out a sigh. This feels… nice again. “And I have found out that Blueblood, as I suspected, was lying.”
“But you guys seemed… so convinced that I did hit Blueblood.”
“We have to make it seem like we are agreeing with Blueblood, and many other ponies that are like him, to keep them quiet. I had a private conversation with Apple Jack shortly before coming here, and she said that all you did was ‘force a break onto the chef’ and chat with that same chef for nearly forty minutes straight. If anything I’m surprised that you haven’t punched Blueblood yet. Many of his dates couldn’t get past an hour without filing a restraining order on him, or assaulting him.” Wow, what a lady’s man. “And he always got his flank handed to him when his dates have had enough... Blueblood hits like a mare apparently.” Luna and Celestia snickered.
Wow, not even just a bitch, just a full on little bitch. Good job, Blueblood.
“So, all is well between us?” Luna asked.
“I… yeah. You two are scarily good at acting.”
“Well, we must put on an act for the public and politicians. Once we arrive at home, you’ll see more of mine and Tia’s true colors. For instance, My sister will likely foalnap you in the middle of the night because she is very excited to have a child to watch over… and beware, if she does, she is a blanket hog.”
“Well then, I suppose I can’t forgive such a heinous act of evil if the gracious, wonderous, Princess Celestia was able to do such a crime!” I raised a hoof and hugged Luna with the other. Celestia scooted closer to me and Luna, and wrapped her wings around us.
“Just know that Luna can, and will eat anything she can get her hooves on. Watermelons, the skin included, cake, anything. Nothing is safe… she ate an entire cake meant for forty ponies on her own, and would’ve had to make another cake if it weren’t for her terrible cooking skills.” How... these ladies must get good exercise regimens to not be round, pony balls.
Luna and Celestia then glared at me for some odd, before Celestia gave me a nuzzle… okay, this felt very nice. Way better than being dropped on my butt by an angry alicorn.
“Next time, if a situation like this arises, I will do some research long before we ‘confront’ you. Then I will send Luna ahead, or go ahead and tell you so you know what to expect. I don’t want you to think we’re mad at you over something when we know that you’re not guilty of. From here on out, we will be crystal clear with you, instead of leaving you to guess in the dark.” I nodded, before remembering something pretty important.
“Also Luna, sorry about sounding like a smartass. I uh, really shouldn’t speak to a literal princess like that.” Luna nodded.
“Let us all just forgive and forget about this situation, and say it’s Blueblood’s fault. I would not have spoken with you had he not irritated me. And you would not have spoken to me like that if I hadn’t irritated you while I was irritated,”Luna nuzzled me. Irritation seems to be Blueblood’s special talent apparently.
“Ey, I can drink to that sorta logic… if you two would let me drink,” I grumbled the last bit out.
“You are far, far too young to be drinking alcohol, colt,” Luna said with half lidded eyes. She practicality spat out the word ‘colt’, but there was a slight shine in her eyes, that simply screamed ‘I’m just joking around’.
“I’ve drank margaritas before, old lady, I can handle a little whisky! As an Irishman, I take offense to you not letting me drink!” I lightly jabbed her with my hoof. “Betcha that you can’t handle a shot of whisky!”
“Oh? You date challenge me to a drinking contest, Nogla? Perhaps you should become of age before making such a challenge!” Luna raised a hoof to her chest. “And surely you are not foolish enough to challenge me to such a competition to begin with.” There was stupid grin on her face told me where this was going, and Celestia beat us to it.
She tickled the ever living shit out of us with her wings.
“Aunt Celly? Aunt Luna? Are you two still in there?” I lifted my head off of Celestia’s foreleg. Without even answering, or being given permission, Cadence and Shining Armor walked in grinned. Celestia and Luna, both of which were napping like I was after our little tickle fight, lifted their heads up and yawned. “I see you two have been very busy, perhaps I should leave you two to it. I know you both could use the extra sleep… especially you Celestia, I can see the bags under your eyes.”
“I… oh dear, I forgot about resuming our meeting, didn’t I?”
“You don’t need to treat family time so professionally, Celly. Besides, since you’ve submitted those adoption papers, we can have Nogla join in on the fun!” Wait, what happened to me signing those? “And I wanted to talk to Nogla about something, well, mostly Shining Armor does.” Oh dear. Shining trotted over to me, laid down, looked me in the eyes, and I felt my soul being evicted from my body.
“So Nogla, I heard there was a Changeling down by the Crystal Heart, and I want to know if it was you. It’s only for security reasons, I swear.”
“Uh… yeah. Well, I woulda seen it if I could even get into the room it was in. Dunno what a Crystal Heart is, I know that the School for the Gifted of Crystal City has something called a ‘Crystal Heart Ball’, but not an actual ‘Crystal Heart’ whatever the heck that may be.” I scratched the back of my head. “You didn’t hear about me accidentally scaring off some senator by snarling at myself, right?”
“I heard about that, but I can’t really do anything since you didn’t hurt anybody. Spear Point, Sharp Eye, mind coming inside?” Shining Armor’s voice turned into one of authority… oh right, I think Twilight said something about this guy being the Head Captain of the Royal Guard. Two ponies walked into the room, Spear Point glared at me, before giving his full attention to his boss. “I believe you two have something to say to our friend, Nogla.”
“Sir, that is a Changeling, why should we apologize to it?” Spear Point asked.
“That Changeling is Princess Celestia’s ward, private. She adopted him,” Shining Armor almost snarled ‘him’. “And as such, he is a friend of the Crystal Empire, and shall be treated like how you’d treat anypony else in these walls. At the very least, be respectful and don’t call Nogla an ‘it’ or I will have something to say to you about it.”
“Yes sir!” Both guards droned before Spear Point gave me a cold look. “My partner and I would like to apologize for our conduct with you. We simply were not informed-”
“That… is a load of crud, Spear Point, I made an announcement about Nogla this morning and you two were there. You know what? Just get out and go back to your post. I’m disappointed in you both.” The two guards marched on as soon as they were dismissed. They didn’t seem bothered about being told off by their boss somehow. Then, I had an excellent idea.
I swore I heard Shining Armor grumble about demoting those two under his breath.
“Hey Shining Armor, do you have any say in how much your guards are paid individually?” Shining Armor nodded. “Can I make a request that Sergeant Map Maker get a raise? For no reason in particular. The guy was just happy to help me out even if I… Well, ain’t a pony.”
“Good, that’s how every guard should be, eager to lend a hoof even if it’s for something as simple as an opinion on somepony. I’ll see if I can raise Sergeant Maker’s paycheck at all without him noticing and complaining?” I raised an eyebrow… I think it was an eyebrow at least. I don’t exactly have facial hair. “I’ve heard plenty of good things about that sergeant, and each time I talk to him about getting a raise or promotion, he denies it, going on about how ‘he isn’t in the guard for the reward’. So I don’t even know if I can raise his pay.”
God damn it, Make Marker, let us pay you money!
“Just sign here,” Celestia said, pointing to a line with a pen. Well, it was more of a quill, but she called it a pen. I nodded, grabbed the pen with my magic and began to sign… how do I write in cursive again? I’ll just print the first letter of my name and attach a squiggly line to it. That got Celestia to raise an eyebrow. “Nogla, do you know how to write in cursive at all? Because I can teach you if you don’t know how.”
“I got taught how to write in print, and that was it. In my world, cursive isn’t super important apparently, so many, myself included, just do this,” I pointed at my signature. Celestia cocked her head before literally shaking the thought out of her head. “So is that the last of the paperwork?” I asked.
“It is, now you are officially a prince, adoptive son of myself, and the nephew of Luna.”
“Neat.”
“You don’t seem very excited about being a prince.”
“Well, I did grow up on a potato farm. I don’t have huge aspirations. All I wanna do is live comfortably while having a stable income to not be starving every night. I can do that with or without being a prince.”
“I suppose that is a good thing. I was afraid that you might become another Blueblood upon being granted your new title.”
I put a hoof on my chest in mock offense. “Me? Compared to Blueblood?” Celestia giggled. “You know what, I should follow in his example then! Learn from your elders and whatnot! Servant!” I pointed at Celestia. “Explain to me why my eggs aren’t scrambled perfectly to the nanometer? And why are you not kissing up to my royal, unwashed ass? I am a Prince with zero talents, so I’m better than everybody! I am Prince Nogla, and I declare that you are a peasant, servant!” Celestia grinned and began to play along.
“W-well, your highness I-”
“I don’t care! To the dungeons with you!” Celestia lifted me up with her magic. “Gah! This is mutiny!” I grinned and booped the Princess on the nose. She clearly hadn’t expected this, as she went cross eyed for a split second. She then started to stare into my soul and I felt a shiver run down my spine. The two of us started laughing our asses off as she pulled me into a hug.
Very warm. Very safe. Very happy. No take my Celly away.
“Now, show me your magic again, I would like to get a better look at it,” Celestia said, laying me back in my chair.
“But… It kinda sucks. I can’t really do a whole lot beyond levitation.”
Celestia leered at my comment. “Do not, do not speak of your abilities like that, Nogla. You are merely inexperienced with magic; you’ve yet had the time to learn to fully make use of your magic, and I would like to help you get better at it.”
I lifted up a cup and Celestia began to eye my magic, like she was running a bunch of calculations behind those eyes. “I may not be the greatest judge of Changeling magic, but assuming it works somewhat similarly to unicorns, I can safely say your magic is not weak. I doubt you would be able to get into my school for gifted unicorns, but I’m sure you could get good enough with some practice.
“Tell me, how long has it been since you’ve discovered how to use your magic?” I looked outside and saw that it was night now.
”I’d say… this morning shortly after I woke up.”
“You’ve learnt how to use your magic far faster than some unicorns do. Nay, I would say that there are quite a few late bloomers that have yet to discover their First Spark. So for you to have found it so soon after being a creature that could not use magic, I’d say you’re not terrible.”
“But I can barely lift a pillow.”
“That cup is heavier than a pillow, Nogla. It’s made of solid crystal.” Huh.
“Now… I can show you an easier way of picking things up, to make up for your self apparent lack of raw power…”
“Now one more try and we will call it a night.” I nodded and began to put bits and pieces of magic around a tennis ball I had in my backpack, and grinned like an idiot when bits of magical aura began to expand, and I raised the ball with ease! “Now-“ I threw the ball. “Well, you’ve discovered how to throw things with your magic, which is much easier to do with this method than what you were doing before.”
With that the tennis ball recoiled off a wall and hit me in the face, in the eye actually. “Yeowch” I yelped and began to hold my eye as I curled up into a small ball. Oh my god that hurts! Celestia immediately swallowed me up into the ‘wing cave, home of kisses for your boo boos’ and held me while I continued to hold my eye.
“God, why do my eyes take up such a large portion of my face?” I opened and closed my eye a couple of times, and what I was seeing out of it was blurry, but I could tell that it would clear up eventually. Well, nothing like some shut eye won’t do. I flopped over under Celly’s wing and closed my eyes.
Celestia curled her body around me before she started quietly snoring.
From good, to bad, to worse, to better, to great. Hopefully everyday from here isn’t an emotional rollercoaster.
Poke…
Something was poking me, at a very early hour in the morning, and it won’t stop.
Poke…
“Nuh, go away,” I grunted.
“Nogla, it is time to get up. Our train leaves for Canterlot in two hours,” it was Luna, she was the one poking me. “Well? Will you wake up, or do we have to drag you out of bed?” We…? Well, I suppose I must check out who made up this ‘we’ with Luna.
I opened my eyes to see Luna standing at full height, staring down at me. Surprisingly, she stood several feet taller than the bed itself, which made sense, now that I think about it, because of how tall she is. Celestia was… also present, but she was just barely poking her nose above the bed, with one of her hooves(unshoed), extended over the bed, and was mere inches away from my nose. Even from here, I could tell that she was smirking, which was nicely hidden by the bed.
It was pretty funny and adorable.
“Boop,” Celesita squeaked as her hoof made contact with my nose. “Come on, Nogla, do you wish to be left behind?” She then lifted her head up and rested her chin on the bed. “If you wish to still sleep, we can carry you, you know. And trust me, you do not want to be flown across the Crystal Empire while on mine, or Lulu’s back.”
“But the train leaves in two hours… couldn’t one of those two hours be spent on me getting some extra sleep?”
Luna giggled. “Unfortunately, that cannot be. You’ve yet to pack up your belongings.”
I sat up and groaned. “But my backpack is packed up and everything!”
Luna opened the bag and placed a book on the bed. “Now it’s not.”
You are evil, Luna, very evil. I love you- wait what? Where the heck did that come from? Well, it hasn’t been over two days, but Luna is kinda like a big sister to me now… I want to keep her.
I rolled onto my belly and put the book back into my backpack. “Fine, I guess I’ll wake up now.” Celestia let out a triumphant, princess-like squeal while Luna gave me a shit eating grin. I rolled my eyes and hopped off the bed, this time without my legs giving out from the impact, and went to the bathroom to do my morning routine.
Do business, brush teeth, hop in the shower. It was done way quicker since now I could use my magic to brush my teeth while on the toilet(I could even rinse thanks to me being able to move water with my magic when I spit it out), and hopped in the shower after doing all the fun stuff. I sang a stupid little song, one about a lion waiting to be a king, and hopped out after five minutes.
I stopped to look at myself in the mirror again, and sighed. I almost forgot that I wasn’t some sort of bug horse that was a completely hideous freak, that most of the natives of this universe, will not welcome warmly. Even if my new body was as old as when I was back at home, it wouldn’t matter judging from how some of the ponies treated me yesterday. Chef Brutual Moose and Sergeant Map Marker were both very nice to me, while those two asshats guarding the Crystal Heart weren’t so nice.
Well, hopefully today will go better than yesterday.
We didn’t really have a lot of time for breakfast, as I was just handed a couple of breakfast burritos, while Luna and Celestia got entire trays full, before we were off on our way. Before I even began to complain, I quickly realized that my adopters likely needed more food than I was. They were like twice and Thrice my size respectively, and needed more food as a result.
Also, alicorns had bottomless pits for stomachs, since Luna finished all seven of her burritos in five minutes. And she wanted more!
I had just deposited my bag, which carried my breakfast, in a nearby trash can, while we all walked along. Unsurprisingly, we had guards, but… I had four guards compared to the Sisters’ guards, which were two per Royal Sister. Well, I guess that makes sense, I’m magically and physically weaker than my adopters, but do I really need guards? Like who thinks I’m important?
Luckily, Blueblood had been sent to the train station way ahead of us,
“Wow, look at that. A changeling tried to invade the Crystal Empire and it’s gonna pay the price!” A random earth pony pointed at me, and began to whisper to one of her buddies while several other ponies pointed, stared, whispered. It was… not comforting to say the least. If we weren’t in public, I would ask Luna to hide me under one of her wings while we walked, but one of my guards had taken notice of my discomfort and nudged the other guards. They whispered something that I couldn’t here... Oh god what are they-
Before I knew it, the guards around me got closer, and actually obstructed the view that the oncoming ponies had of me, and kept them out of my sight. Granted, I can still hear the whispers-
“Earplugs, your highness?” One of the guards then promptly offered me some orange… Well, earplugs. “Or would you prefer a set of earmuffs?” Another asked. These guys were very accommodating, way better than the two Crystal Guards that were guiding the Crystal Heart. Ten out of ten, give them a raise! Heck, four of them even looked like they felt bad for me!
Sympathy!
“I’ll take the earmuffs if you don’t mind… Earplugs are a pain to get in your ears just right.”
“I couldn’t agree more, sir, but earplugs are more efficient and effective once adjusted.”
“So what are your names?” I asked.
“My name is Sharpened Dagger, or Sergeant Dagger if we are going by titles. I will be your primary guard, and your backup caretaker should Princess Celestia and Princess Luna not be available.” Wow, that’s… kinda saddening. I’m not that important, or worth guarding… Well, the thought of giving me a few guards to keep me safe was nice, so I’ll have to thank Lulu and Celly later; they seem to actually care about me.
“Here are your earmuffs, sir,” one of the unnamed guards said-
Before I knew it, one of my guards had slipped the earmuffs onto my head, and adjusted them so they’d cover both my ears… and wow, I can’t even hear my own hoofsteps. They were snug and comfy too! I nuzzled one of the guards, who froze for only a millisecond, and a tiny little smile stretched across their face. The other guards stared at the slightly happier guard, before also smiling after I gave them nuzzles. What? They helped me out, and I was thankful!
It didn’t help that I knew that ponies were talking, but I could pretend I that I didn’t know they were taking about me much, much easier now.
The three of us had entered our private train car, that’s when my borrowed earmuffs disappeared, and I put myself next to Luna and Celestia. The train car we were in was really nice, like it was like a full blown office. From a little desk, to drawers, to feathers to write with. Desk lights were screwed into the desk, and there was a noticeable amount of sun and moon paper weights…
It was cozy even if it was a bit too pink for my liking.
“You do know what you did when you nuzzled all of your guards, correct, Nogla?” Celestia asked.
“No… did I do something bad?” I asked, leaning up against Luna, since the chairs were pretty much just giant bean bags, which made cuddling way easier… Why the heck do I want to cuddle? Well, it was nice, and Luna was pretty warm and pleasant to lean against. She was like a big, dark blue, heated pillow.
“You pretty much just kissed them. Each one,” Luna answered. “It’s not too taboo, and some of the guards seem to enjoy your showing of appreciation, which is a pleasant surprise to myself and my sister, but nuzzles do essentially equate to kisses.” Luna then nuzzled me in between the ears.
“But… can’t it also be used as a form of showing thanks?”
“Well yes, but Nogla, you pretty much just kissed your guards,” Luna smirked.
“Oh… Maybe I should go ahead and learn pony body language, huh?” I could feel heat rising in my cheeks.
“Worry not,” Celestia said, taking out a textbook on the subject. “This train ride will be rather long, so my sister and I have decided to use it wisely, and teach you the basics of Equestrian body language.”
“For instance, nuzzling is a more public version of ‘making out’, as young ponies would call it, or kissing,” Luna said. “Another thing, a pegasus laying a wing over another, is a form of endearment; you do it to those close to you if you are a pegasus.”
Luna had then laid a wing over me for an example… and nuzzled me again. I felt… safe.
“But.. you guys do that, and you’re not pegasi.”
“No, but we are alicorns, which is a combination of the three tribes, earth ponies, unicorns, and pegasi.” I… have a lot to learn. “And not just by physically, but by minor things such as body language, to how our bodies work. For instance, while our bones are very tough like an earth pony’s bones, they are also hollow to allow myself and Luna the ability to fly…”
“But isn’t flying supposed to work via magic? Why would your bones need to be hollow?”
“Oh? Have you been studying?”
“Kinda… I found a biology book in the Crystal Empire’s Castle Library, and read it in my room while I was alone.”
“I feel like you and Twilight would get along.”
“If she likes studying biology then we will.”
“She might, Twilight does simply love learning about anything new,” Celestia mused.
“And to answer your question, Nogla, yes, flying is mostly magic based for ponies. So why our bones are hollow, I am not sure. Rest assured, this is mostly unimportant information compared to understanding body language to a basic extent.”
Okay, so asking about cutie marks is seen as very rude, unless speaking to a close friend, and so is staring at cutie marks. I guess it made sense, since cutie marks essentially defined you as a person(I don’t get to have one because I don’t get to register as a person), and can be a very personal thing for many. And you know, they were on said ponies’ butts, so staring at them would be kinda weird and perverted.
But for the most part, aside from nuzzles, everything seemed to fall in with human body language. Such as hanging your head, kissing, slumped shoulders(or wings depending on if the pony doing it is a pegasus or alicorn), and hugging.
There was a few other things to note, such as horns of unicorns being used to perform ‘horn kisses’, and also being used to share memories if one of the unicorns is heavily skilled in magic, or is actually an alicorn who will have more than enough power to perform such a thing.
Also putting stuff in your mouth to hold was pretty normal(and I assume ponies evolved in such a way so sharing spit doesn’t get you sick or something), because, unsurprisingly, walking around on three hooves is pretty awkward to do for even the most coordinated of ponies. Pegasi often use their wings as makeshift arms so usually they carry stuff in their wings, and unicorns carry stuff with their magic, but if they have something in their mouth, it’s normal.
Also, washing your hooves. You don’t need to wash your hooves before eating. It also isn’t seen as disgusting to not do so, unless your hooves were actually covered in shit. Ponies have really good tolerances to the bacteria you can pick up by just by walking around apparently, so washing your hooves just wasn’t necessary. Well, Luna and Celestia didn’t say that, but it was safe to assume that.
I’m still washing my hooves though.
Speaking of, royalty, or specifically princesses. Currently, there are four known princesses, all of which I have met. In alphabetical order, Cadence, Celestia, Luna, and Twilight Sparkle. Usually each princess wore horse shoes, with the exception of Twilight Sparkle, a collar/necklace type of thing, and a crown. While Cadence and Twilight are not seen as gods, Celestia and Luna basically are, and have acknowledged such. Also Alicorns tend to excel in terms of power due to having an earth pony’s stamina to fuel an already very, very strong magic pool.
Alicorns also excel in specific ‘realms’ in relation to their cutie marks.
There were cults for the Sisters, apparently. Heck, other nations worship Celestia in particular, since she can raise the Sun, and has lowered both the Moon and Sun for nearly a millennium in Luna’s absence. Luna, to her enjoyment, prefers to not be seen as such, even if her own people still basically worship her.
Also, it didn’t apply to me, since I was a prince, I was supposed to speak to the Princesses in some form of respect(even if said Princesses would rather be talked to like normal ponies, which they were if you ignored their life spans and powers). Also, stallions found females with longer legs and stronger rear ends to be very attractive. So logically, every other stallion in Equestria wants to court, or marry Luna or Celestia….
Also, somebody might have tried to marry Cadence for similar physical features that stallions love, only for them to get into a shouting match with Shining Armor. And a couple broken legs when said stallion tried to grab Cadence’s butt… Shining Armor did not take that lightly, and Cadence wasn’t happy about it either.
Dude, why would you try to sexually assault a princess, a princess, who, by default, can outmatch you in terms of magic(and raw strength Cadence is fucking jacked. Not really, but she looks to be pretty fit) while literally being married to a war horse? Did you want to die for some reason, or are you stupid?
Also seeing stallions date more than one mare isn’t uncommon, due to there being a three to one birth ratio of females and males. How did that apply to me? I dunno. Not my problem; I won’t be dating anybody while I’m here.
After Celestia and Luna had given me a rather fun(like it was very fun), engaging body language lesson, Celestia had opted to begin working on paperwork while Luna napped. So I was just left to my own devices, literally. As it turned out, I can very easily operate a Nintendo 3DS with magic way better than I can with my hands… and it was still fun. Granted, I have to use this thing sparingly, since I don’t think I can charge this thing when it dies, and I would like to enjoy Super Mario 3D Land as much as I can in the next three years.
Ah darnit, it’s already orange! God, how long has it been since I… oh right, I charged it at the beginning of this week, because I didn’t expect to be in a magical pony land. I saved where I was, which was right before the first castle level in the first world, and closed the device. Well, so much for killing a fake Bowser again for bagging the Princess. Also, the next time I’ll get to play this thing will probably be next week, when I can charge this little bugger. Those are high hopes, but still, I hope I can charge this thing while I’m stuck here.
I closed the 3DS when suddenly it was engulfed in a yellow, magical hue. “What a strange little device,” Celestia said, putting down what looked like a budget of some sort, which I had promptly taken up into my own magic while she began to inspect the device, even magically disassembling it, and reassembling it perfectly(it even turned on like nothing had happened to it). Well, I can’t blame her for being curious, but it would be nice if… Nah, I wasn’t doing anything with it anyways.
I think she just wanted an excuse to have a break from those demon squares for a bit. What? Rectangles are squares.
This budget… Wow, it looked way more complicated. Funds to schools, infrastructure, all that fun stuff. I slid it back into the demon spawn that was Celestia’s paperwork, when Celestia was seemingly playing‘Super Smash Bros. on it; I heard Yoshi being KO’d out of existence. The Solar Princess cocked her head to the side. “What… just happened?” Celestia spun the screen around to a victory screen… How the heck did she learn how to play that game on her own? She just beat the highest level CPU with like… five minutes of playtime.
“You just played a video game, a pretty popular one from back home… How’d you uh… figure it out?”
“Well, it came with instructions, which I skimmed through, and figured out that certain buttons on this device do certain things. So I checked which buttons did what, and tried out this ‘video game’. It’s quite amusing to say the least; I could see myself or Luna getting addicted to this, which is why I shall…” She paused and looked at a now blank screen. The 3DS just died in her hands- hooves. Her hooves.
Celly’s eyes widened and her ears flattened against her head as she frantically looked around the device for any external damage, unassembled it, looked for internal damage, before perfectly putting it back together. She found nothing wrong with it.
“Oh dear!” Celestia pressed the power button with her magic. “I didn’t mean to break it!” She began to mildly panic over the little thing. It was actually kinda adorable, how her eyes were so damn expressive… Very adorable, if she weren’t my adoptive mother, I would squish her face. “I am so sorry! I know this must be of great importance to you and I-”
“Celly, the battery’s dead. The 3DS just needs power…” Celestia began to inspect the thing and hummed.
With that, she zapped it with magic, and it turned back on, like it had just been fully charged. “Did… that fix it? I made it so it can never run off what looks to be electrical energy,” Celestia then floated the device over to me. She let out a relieved sigh.
“Yeah, it’s as good as new… you polished the screen by accident too.”
“Is that bad?”
“No, I’m just surprised you did all that with one spell. It’s like it’s brand new.”
“Well, I did… snatched up that little device without asking, It was… the least I could do. I’m not used to asking… Okay, I am, but usually nopony complains when I wish to inspect something, so I may have developed the habit of simply looking before asking… I swear, from now on, I will ask for your permission before I inspect anything…” She then lifted me up in her magic and started sniffing my cheek.
“Uh… what are you-” I was deposited under one of Celestia’s wings.
“I was inspecting your cute, little face.” I blinked a couple times, if I think my cheeks were pink now… Even if I disagreed with that sentiment that I’m adorable(I’m ugly). I’m just going to sleep.
Soft Sun Pony, very warm, very comfy, very cozy. I sleep now.
Where… Why am I in a cave? Wasn’t I just… just with Celestia?
Okay, I do not like how there is a swarm of blue, Changeling-like eyes staring at me from every dark corner of this cave. Where am I? Why am I…
“Well, well, well. A Changeling in Equestria that is not from any Hive… You lack any defining features of other Hives, or my own…” What the fuck? Did I get kidnapped while there were two alicorns in the same train cart as me?
Meanwhile…
“Look at that cute little bug,” Luna hugged Celestia. “Thank you for allowing me to keep him! It may not be a pony, but I am quite excited to be able to look after a child for the next three years!” The Moon Princess began to pout.
“What is it, Lulu?”
“Why are you hogging our child? It’s my turn to hold him while he naps!” A light blue bubble, along with a golden one, engulfed Nogla’s head while the two princesses began to prepare for a shouting match.
“Because I have nicer fur… Messy Moonbutt. And I’m warmer.” Celestia shouted. “Nogla will have a much better nap if he uses me as a pillow.”
“How dare you-” both princesses stopped as Nogla squirmed and wiggled in his sleep. Luna’s horn lit up as soon as she closed her eyes.
So… Now I am staring face to face with a Changeling that is roughly as tall as Celestia, if not a little taller if you count horn height. “Well? Are you going to answer to your new Queen? Or shall I begin the introductions?” The voice from this bug was layered, like there were multiple of… whoever this was, speaking at once at different pitches. “I suppose I shall begin… My name is Chrysalis, Queen Chrysalis, Queen of the Southern Badlands Hive, and I am here to meet you, my little ‘ling. And I have come with great news!”
“What?” Oh… that didn’t ring a bell. You see, Twilight didn’t give me a name for the Changeling Queen that had fucked Canterlot’s shit up. I assume that this was the same Queen at least.
“I will be meeting you in Canterlot to annex you into my Hive, I’m sure you will find Changelings to be much more accepting of you than those damned ponies. I’m sure you’ve already seen what it is like to be on the receiving end of their cruelty.”
“Actually, yeah, I have. Quite a few ponies treat me pretty badly, but Luna and Celestia are very nice. They’re even giving me a place to live while I’m stuck in Equestria…”
“Sunbutt is merely using you to appease her sister, and they will throw you at at the slightest chance that you slip up.”
I didn’t have anything to say to that. It was clear that Celly and Lulu cared about me, you could almost say they love me like I’m their own child, but I’m not entirely sure if they would throw me out if… whatever instincts I have as a Changeling makes me hurt anybody.
“Chrysalis, do not, and I repeat, do not poison that child’s mind.” Luna… oh yeah, dream walking.
“And how are you certain that you will not throw out Nogla at the slightest slip up?”
“Changeling, remove yourself from Nogla’s dreams, or I will remove you myself… If you make an attempt to kidnap, harm, or kill that drone in any way, I will personally ensure your Hive’s demise. Understand? In fact, if you come anywhere near Nogla, I will introduce you to Nightmare Moon personally, she won’t be happy to meet you, by the way. I am also certain Daybreaker would enjoy having a word with you before she burns your Hive to the ground.”
Who… is Daybreaker? Before I knew it, the cave I was in had quickly been replaced with a meadow. It looked like something I would happily prance around in. “That was the Queen that invaded Canterlot. She matches the description from several eyewitnesses at the very least.” Luna answered that question before I could even ask it. “I assume that will not be the last we see of her, so I expect to have… some undesirable guests.”
“What does Chrysalis even want with me? I can’t really… transform, or do anything really other than think and breathe.”
“Well, she probably wants revenge for sending her, and her Hive, flying across Equestria after her plans to take over had failed. And taking you from Celestia and I would make us very angry.” Luna looked off in the distance and her ears twitched a couple of times. “We’ll be arriving in Canterlot in about five minutes. Do you wish to keep sleeping? Because my sister and I are more than willing to carry you.”
“I’ll wake up. I kinda want to see what Canterlot is like.” Luna nodded and the meadow collapsed into nothingness.
Chrsalis turned one of her drones. “Allow our new hivemate to settle in... Kevin!” A Changeling quickly bowed and saluted to his Queen. “Once... Nogla, what an odd name for a changeling, has settled in, I want you to go around an impersonate him. Do whatever you can to antagonize him, commit murder if you must. Just pretend to be Nogla and cause damage until the princesses reprimand him.”
Kevin nodded, not even really sure as to what the heck, or who the heck a ‘Nogla’ was.
Queen Chryaalis dawned the form of a pale blue pegasi with a light grey mane. A crown as her cutie mark. “I shall go greet Nogla in Canterlot... do not let me down, Kevin.”
As soon as we stepped out of the train station, I was immediately amazed at how amazing this place looked. The Crystal Empire was beautiful, don’t get me wrong, but Canterlot was a completely different kind of beast in terms of looks. For one thing, everything was made of some kind of marble, or other white material that shined and gleamed in the sunlight. Everywhere, everything, every single building looked well polished, well built, and simply amazing.
The Crystal Empire was beautiful and shiny, but Canterlot looked grand and magnificent.
This would make The Dublin Spire look like a toothpick in comparison. There was a huge, huge castle which was clearly at the forefront of the city’s focus, with it being in the center, being the tallest and mightiest structure in the entire city, with gold trims, and flags bearing what I assumed was Equestria’s crest, for all to see. And even then, the whole city was crawling with ponies here and there. This place oozed pride in the country that it was the capital city of.
Ponies, mostly unicorns(a few pegasi flew above, while a couple earth ponies were mixed in with the unicorns on the ground), wandered up and down the city streets, walking, chatting, laughing along to some tasteless joke their friend made. The occasional guard could be seen, lending a hand to some old lady, a kid, or just walking around and making sure the city was safe. The roads reminded me of Roman Roads, where there were tons, and tons, and tons of smoothened rocks laid in an orderly fashion, with concrete to hold them all together. A carriage with a couple of rich looking ponies pulled by as we walked along.
“Princess, are you certain that you don’t wish to ride your chariot back to the castle?” One of Celestia’s Guards asked.
“Of course. I have been informed that Nogla would like to see Canterlot, and it has been quite a while since I have had a leisurely stroll through the city as well. So, can we not knock down two boulders with one kick?” Celly paused for a moment. “Do run ahead and let Raven Inkwell know that I will be running a little bit late; an hour or two.”
“Of course your Highness,” the guard said before taking to the air… How did I not notice that the guard was a pegasus?
We began to walk down the streets, with Luna and Celestia occasionally stopping to window shop. I suppose even if you are the ruler of a country, it is cool to see what is being sold in a shop, even if you know you can buy whatever you’re looking at without it being completely detrimental to your wallet. Heck, I found myself stopping occasionally to look inside the same shops and found some pretty cool things. Like there’s a restaurant that was selling daisy burgers! How the heck would that even work? Daisy burgers were being sold as a cheap, healthier, tastier alternative to ‘hay burgers’. It would probably suck more than Burger King, but it sounded interesting.
I would’ve asked for a daisy burger, but I didn’t want to bother Celestia or Luna about it. Besides, I wasn't even hungry! Next time, next time I am on this street, I will stuff a daisy burger down my throat, and probably be surprised when said daisy burger tastes better than what can be gotten out of a gourmet restaurant back at home. Or be surprised at how it’s somehow better than Burger King, which would say a lot about how much that place sucked at making food.
Even a bag of dirt would be more edible than Burger King.
Also, a thing I took note of, was how many ponies were bowing to Celestia and Luna, which made sense, but immediately took a moment to glare at me, give me the stink eye, or something that involved a not pleasant facial expression or any kind of expression. Well, at the moment, I don’t give a fuck, I want to see what’s inside this ice cream shop. Everything in it looked really, really good. Like there were these ice cream sandwiches that had waffles instead of a wafer! God, that must be messy, but really tasty!
I want one... Would Celestia be mad if I asked for some ice cream?
I began to eye a cookie pizza on display, when suddenly I heard the ice cream shop’s door open up with a bell, and somebody wearing what looked like the shop’s uniform came out while holding an ice cream scooper. It had the same marketing guff on it as a regular fast food employee’s uniform back at home. Uh… where was Luna and Celestia? Or my guards? Feck, I lost them while I was eying that cookie pizza! It’s been about a decade since I’ve had a good one… Well, I suppose I should go catch up with the Sisters, or else something unpleasant will-
“Get away from my shop, you bucking Changeling!” The store owner threw an ice cream scooper at me, which hit me square in the nose. I yelped and held my nose.
“God damn, dude, that was a good throw!” My voice felt slightly more nazily, because y'know, I was holding my nose. “Like jesus, that fuckin’ hurt more than when a somebody kicked a footy into my face, mate!” I rubbed my nose a couple more times… it’s bleeding. Well that’s a bit… Wow, Blueblood must be a wee bitch if an ice cream scooper did more damage than a punch from him did.
“Did I stutter, bug? Get the hay away from my store! You’re scaring my customers!”
“I was trying to, and then you hit me in the face, you fuckin’ donut!”
“What did you just call me?”
“A fucking donut…” That is a lot of people, on second thought I don’t want to be here anymore, I want to go back on the train and get off in the middle of nowhere. I… want to go hide in an alleyway now, that was closer and way more convenient then buying a train ticket. And it was cheaper!
Everybody was staring at me, and I could’ve sworn I’ve seen a couple ponies getting ready to square up with me. Uh… yeah, okay, I’m gonna just go over here... I let my head hang low, and began to try and find that nice, dark alleyway to go sit in.
“What is going on here?” My head shot up, and so did everypony else. Luna and Celestia were standing together, both of whom had frowns on their faces, and both their wings flared. Luna had a fire in her eyes that made the Sun look like a campfire, while Celestia looked ready to make said ball of gas go supernova. Everybody, including the ice cream shop owner, bowed, before the store owner pointed at me.
“That darn Changeling is ruining my business! It keeps staring at ponies in my shop and making them uncomfortable, while scaring away anypony that wants to come in! On top of that, it’s making my employees uncomfortable!” He growled. “And if it just wanted some ice cream, I doubt it! Changelings are hideous creatures that only feed on emotion! They probably can’t even eat food.”
He said all of that like it was fact.
I opened my mouth to protest, but closed my mouth. I’m just not going to start speaking back again. Instead, I opened up one of my saddlebags and looked inside of it- oh hey a pack of Oreos. It isn’t ice cream, and I wish I had some milk on me, but I guess I can snack on these when I find that dark corner to hide in. I opened the package up with my magic and a small smile grew on my face. When I first came to America, these little shits broke my brain, and had quickly become my favorite thing to snack on.
I magicked one out of the packaging(it was a nice, big, full package too! And popped it in my mouth. I closed my eyes, while savoring it, and reopened them. Everyone was just staring at me, including the Princesses, who were now standing pretty close to me. “Uh…” I pulled two out. “Want an Oreo?” I asked.
“Why thank you, Prince Nogla,” Celly said with a faint, smug grin. The type you wouldn’t notice unless you looked really closely. Celly and Lulu took a cookie each, and took a very lady-like bite(unlike how they wolfed down their breakfast earlier) out of it. I swear, there was a little extra shine in Celestia’s eyes as she watched everybody’s jaw drop. She wiped her face with a handkerchief after finishing, and looked up at the shop keeper. “I see that you have… met Prince Nogla, my adoptive son, and new Prince of Equestria. And I see it wasn’t on the friendliest terms, judging from Nogla’s bloody nose.”
Oh, yeah, that kinda hurts. Luna pulled out an ice pack out of... where? And stuck it on my nose. That’s kinda... nevermind, it stopped the bleeding. Shortly afterwards, a bandage was applied to my nose. Well, might as well save the ice cream shop owner; he looked ready to shit himself.
“Don’t blame him, mama” Everybody gasped when I said that. Luna’s eyes told me she was finding this situation to be pretty funny. ”I tripped and-”
“The shopkeeper threw an ice cream scooper at Nogla,” one of my guards piped up. “Watch it happen myself.” I glared at the guard. “But I could have been seeing things, as Prince Nogla was quite far from my sight.”
“Anyways, let’s all just drop this, and head home, mother dearest? That train ride left me pretty tired.” The store owner slowly turned to me, and back to Celestia, while I popped another cookie in my mouth… God dammit, I want some milk.
“I am quite surprised,” Celestia said as we walked past the castle gates.
“What?”
“You handled yourself quite nicely, despite being physically assaulted by that store owner… Then you tried to cover up what had actually happened, even if Luna and I had seen what had happened when we turned back for you…” Celestia gave me a warm little smile. “That was very nice of you. For how young you are, I would have expected that you want revenge.”
“Oh, I did, but I also don’t want the guy to get locked up in jail for something I probably was doing. Like I didn’t mean to, but I probably was interrupting business for that guy… So it was fair that he wanted me to go away. I wish he didn’t throw a scooper at me, but I am also now a part of a species that invaded their city…. however long ago.”
“You know, I believe you’ve earned a reward… You were eying the ice cream that the parlor had, correct?” Luna asked.
“Yeah, I want a cookie pizza, the ice cream shop had some apparently, and they looked so good!”
“Wait until you see the royal kitchen’s take on cookie pizza…” Oh god, that sounded glorious. You bloody, moon raising horse, you! I fucking love you!
“Good afternoon, your highnesses,” an earth pony wearing a collar and tie walked up to us. She… oh, she was actually a unicorn. God I am blind, she had a clipboard floating as she approached us. “Did the Princess Summit go over well?”
“Indeed it did.”
“And this is the Changeling I was told about.”
I don’t even want to take any chances, I backed away, and hid behind Luna.
Raven squealed. “You know, that was kind of adorable, your highness! I didn’t expect to see a changeling that’s more scared of me than I am of them. Let alone a changeling to be tucked under one of your wings so cute.”
Luna smirked and rubbed my back with said wing. “Well, Ms. Inkwell, Nogla did just get assaulted by an ice cream store owner, so he might be slightly on edge when it comes to meeting new ponies.”
Ms. Inkwell peaked around Luna, who teleported behind me right after out from around her. Luna just left me in the open. “Hello!” Inkwell greeted me rather… cheerfully. “I suppose we will be working together for the foreseeable future, Nogla. I hope we can become good friends…”
“You aren’t disgusted by me?”
“Of course not! Anypony, or anything that the Princesses like, can’t be that bad. Especially you, since you got adopted by my bosses! If anything, you’re rather adorable; you’re shorter than most of the changelings I’ve seen, but I haven’t seen one up close, so I could be wrong.” I backed away when she tried to squish my face.
“Well your highnesses, I have your schedules cleared until tomorrow, so if you would like to rest up after such a long train ride, you may without interruption.”
“We were just going to the kitchens to procure some cookie pizza. Nogla has proven to be mature for his age, and I would like to reward him for his behavior,” Celestia sounded prideful… Ah, you’re making blush, Celly!
“Mind if I join in-“ Raven let out an ‘eep!’ when her pen fell out of her clipboard, which I had quickly picked up with my magic, and levitated it back to her. The pen hadn’t even had the time time to hit the ground; it was a feather and quill, after all. Raven Inkwell then blinked and looked up at me. “Why aren’t you quite the gentle colt?” She then planted a kiss on my cheek!
“...No problem Ms. Inkwell,” I said while rubbing my cheek. Raven giggled and looked up at Celly.
“So about that cookie pizza... I would like some.”
“You can come and join us any time, Ms. Inkwell, you’re not only my secretary, but a close friend. Come, let’s show our new Prince what a good cookie pizza is like.” Inkwell nodded and followed us to the ‘royal kitchen’.
Anyways, all four of us were covered in ice cream and cookie crumbs by the we were finished... We really could use a bath.
Author's Note
Had to get burger king slander in there!
Anyways, these arw the first four ‘demo chapters’ of the Changed Rewrite. I said I would release everything in one go, but I can just go as I please with this.
So, Funny Story is basically a shit post, while this is something I hope can be kinda funny, while(hopefully) also being incredibly well made. So tell me how it is so far.
Starting to Settle into Canterlot
It had only been a few short hours since the little Ice Cream Shop Incident, after me and the Princesses had our fill of cookie pizza(and a bath after being covered in ice cream), we went our separate ways for the day. Celestia wanted to take the rest of the day, where she wouldn’t have to deal with politics, to herself, and Luna wanted to go take a nap. So a guard was told to lead me to my room, and I got to a few hours before dinner in isolation.
After that, I was pretty much going to be left alone after I was shown where my room was. It wasn’t too different from the guest room I stayed in at the Crystal Empire, even if it was a bit less shiny, and a bit more pink than purple in some areas. It was kinda funny, given that Princess Cadence was pink, you’d figure she’d be the one to have everything nice and pink, but instead it was Celly and Lulu who had the pink, white, and golden castle. The room was bigger than the Empire’s guest room, and fancier looking than my room in the Empire as well…
Well, this is home now, for the next couple of years, this is home, and… I think I’m gonna take a step outside. Sure, in here, my guards left me alone, but I want to go explore this whole castle. Being a prince may sound cool and all, which it is, but I really just wanna look around. Fortunately I am a creature that ponies love to welcome with open arms, and will happily greet me upon laying their eyes upon my hideous face! Without thinking much, I trotted up to my bed and hopped up on it. Man, this sucks. A whole city to explore and I couldn’t without having at least a small battalion of guards with me to make sure I don’t get assaulted for being a bug.
And that didn’t even stop me from being assaulted by an ice cream shop owner.
You know what? I don’t care. I’m going to go out, I’m gonna go get acquainted with the natives. I can’t expect to live here happily if everybody hates me, so I’m gonna go out, no guards, and go on a stroll. If something goes wrong, whatever, if somebody calls me what can equate to an Equestrian slur, then it doesn’t matter. I don’t want to be cooped up in this room all day because I look like a monster… Hopefully this goes well. If I had hands still, I would’ve clenched them into fists, before hopping off the bed and heading towards the door.
My first step out of the castle was surprisingly easy. Yeah, I had a singular guard, Sharpened Dagger(which is as close to no guards as he was letting me go outside the castle with), but after a couple of requests, said guard agreed to stay hidden unless somebody actively tried to kill me. So I trotted out the final gate that led to the rest of Canterlot, and took a moment to relish the breeze. The type of breeze that felt nice and refreshing on a warm day such as today, but not chilling to the bone. You know, today was a pretty good day to just wander around; not a soul will ruin this day for me. Every other pony I passed had glared at me like I was a piece of shit that they had just stepped in, but it didn’t matter.
“Sir,” Sharpened Dagger dropped in out of… wherever the heck he was hiding. My personal guard handed me a little pouch, with a strap that fit nicely around my neck, and kept it right below where my neck connected to the rest of my body. I took the pouch in my magic and put it on. “Princess Celestia informed me to hand you that pouch whenever you head out of the castle. Think of it as an allowance; your own personal funds, if you will.”
“But…” I opened the pouch, and it revealed a couple handfuls of golden coins. “Do I really deserve a personal fund?”
“I believe so. You are the Princess’ ward, as such, you should have your own personal fund.” I raised an eyebrow.
“You’re not just saying that because you’re my guard, are you?”
“No sir,” I squinted at him. “From what I have observed so far, you aren’t too bad for a Changeling, in fact, I would say you act pretty similarly to some of the shyer foals I’ve seen in my time. You certainly weren’t what I was expecting when I heard that Princess Celestia and Princess Luna had adopted a foal from the Crystal Empire, but I am giving you my word as your personal guard; you’re a good foal if nothing else. So you should be allowed to treat yourself.”
Sergeant Dagger saluted me, before disappearing from sight. I stared down at the money pouch, before shrugging. Well, I might as well see if there’s anything cool I can buy with my… money. Man that is weird, to have money of my own for simply being a thing that exists.
I don’t like that.
As I continued down the street, I walked past a duo of ponies, one was playing a guitar without any fingers, which was already really impressive. The other was a dark blue stallion, a pegasus, who was singing, their voice was incredibly beautiful, and the song a nice little song. There was a hat on the ground, with some gold coins in it. The song sounded like the chorus of their little song had just begun. “Bird’s eye view, awake the stars ‘cause they’re all around you.” The stallion sang. I couldn’t help but close my eyes and sway my head side to side as the chorus progressed.
It was a nice little song.
On the second chorus, I couldn’t help but join in. I opened my eyes, and the two ponies I was listening to kept on performing,,even after noticing I had joined them, up until we had finished singing what was probably the last chorus. The stallion nodded to me, and I nodded back. Without hesitation, I took out at least a third of the bits out of my money pouch, and deposited it into the little hat on the ground; I didn't even need to be fluent in Equestrian body language; I knew what the hat was for.
A few other ponies joined in before the song reached its conclusion. None of them cared that I was a changeling; they just wanted to harmonize with me. Eventually though, the song did end, and everybody went about their business. And for that one moment, where nobody cared about what I was also ended. A unicorn, who had wrapped an arm around my neck while we sang, glared at me and wiped her leg off like it had been drenched in mud.
While the moment lasted, it was pretty nice.
“Say, ain’t you a changeling?” the guitar player, an orange pegasus mare, asked while the stallion drank from a bottle of what was probably water. I slowly looked up at the pegasus, and nodded.
“Yeah… is that a bad thing?”
“No, I’m just surprised. I heard so much about changelings, about how vicious y’all were during the invasion, and then in front of me, is a changeling that seems… to be the exact opposite.” The mare pointed a hoof at the hat. “And that amount of bits… are you certain you want to give us that many? I know we’re trying to get some extra bits, but surely that is too much. I don’t think bits come easily to changelings, after all.”
“I gave you that amount of ‘bits’ because I felt like you two deserve it,” I pointed at the stallion. “Your voice is as smooth as butter, and I love it,” I pointed at the mare. “And I can tell that you’re good at what you’re doing too; I’m saying it as it is. I liked the performance, I loved it actually.” I slipped some more gold coins into the hat before taking my leave. Both the mare and stallion smiled and waved as I continued on my way.
There wasn’t much of a need for me to stick around. I love the performance, but I want to keep walking around.
As I walked on through Canterlot, I passed by a little wagon with a stage attached to it. On the stage stood a unicorn. They looked about ready to start some kind of performance, so I trotted on over to get a better look.
“Behold the Great and Powerful Trixie!” I stopped the wagon, where the unicorn, on closer inspection, I now know is a mare, wearing a magician’s hat and cape, shooting off fireworks for… nobody. Well, the ‘Great and Powerful Trixie’ sure does know how to make an entrance. So I figure I might as well sit and watch. I sat down in front of Trixie, and she seemed to stop and blink at the newest member of her audience, before shrugging. The showmare threw down a smoke bomb and teleported in front of me.
“So a Changeling has traveled a long and great distance just to watch Trixie? The Great and Powerful Trixie? Well, Trixie supposes she can pull out her greatest trick?” Trixie then took a step back and tripped on her cape. Trixie yelped, expecting to hit the ground.
“Careful!” Trixie stopped as a sickly green hue surrounded her form, and tilted her back onto her hooves. I sighed in relief; Trixie’s fucking heavy!
Trixie blinked a couple of times before sighing. “Trixie would like to thank you for the assistance… she has been going for a few days without any food and-“ I put a hoof on her nose. “What are you doing?”
“You said you haven’t had food in a while?” Trixie nodded. “C’mon, let’s go get some daisy burgers. I’ve been meaning to try some, and I think that you could use the food.”
“Are… you sure? Would you be willing to help Trxie?” Oh boy, multiple answers
“Yes and yes, I’ve got quite a lot of bits on me, and it doesn’t sit right with me; leaving you to starve. Show business sucks, huh?”
“Trixie loves putting on a show. She likes to entertain ponies, especially with her magic. Trxie has… been running low on funds after a recent scandal. Ponies like to refer to Trixie as the ‘Lame and Powerless Trixie’ after what she has done in Ponyville.”
“Meh. Past is the past. C’mon, let’s put some food in your stomach.”
Trxie wrapped her legs around me. “Trixie Lulamoon would like to thank you, Changeling!”
We had stepped into the burger joint, I let Trixie order, as the employees weren’t giving me very friendly looks. None of them said anything, but I could tell they wanted to yell at me. I mean, Trixie wasn’t getting any friendly looks either, but serving a Trixie was better than serving a freak. So I found a spot to sit. I took my seat and a cup floated over to me. I saw Trixie standing next to the soda machine, waving me over. I nodded and trotted over and got my drink:
Plain old water. Water is the best drink.
After we got our drinks, our order name was called out, and the two of us went back to our table. It was pretty hilarious, the slim looking mare in front of me had a pile of burgers, a cup of ketchup, and a pile of fries. I only had a small daisy burger and a small amount of fries(I needed the rest of my stomach for later. Luna said she would have a surprise for me done after she took her nap).
I took my first bite and my eyes widened. Holy crap that is very similar to an actual burger patty! Tasty, juicy- jesus, did these ponies slip some fucking cocaine into my sandwich? Like this is amazing! Screw my town’s local joints, Equestrian daisy burgers are where it’s at! Trixie had a similar reaction to me, because she took one slow bite of her first burger, and her eyes bulged. Then she swallowed the whole thing in one bite and began to shove another one down her throat.
Trixie wiped her face with the bun of another burger and ate the whole thing too. I like this woman.
“So, how did you, a Changeling, get into Canterlot without getting chased out immediately?” Trixie asked after downing her entire cup. I grinned, now I could lie or tell the truth. Either of which would be really funny. So I took a fry, slowly bit into it, and looked Trixie in the eyes.
“I’m actually a prisoner of war. Princess Celestia and Princess Luna are holding me for ransom. They wanna lure my Queen out to try and capture her for questioning…” Trixie gasped. “But then they figured out that I’m barely past a decade old and felt bad for keeping me locked up in a dungeon. So as long as I’m under a guard’s watch, I can wander the streets of Canterlot. Granted, most ponies hate me, so I don’t know why I'm allowed to wander around the city, but I can.
“Also Celly and Lulu might’ve adopted me.” Trixie’s eyes began to expand and it was hilarious.
“So, you’re actually a prince?” Trixie asked after recovering from the shock.
“In a sense, but I don’t like to be seen as a prince. Most ponies wouldn’t accept that, and it would look kinda bad on the Sisters. I like’em too much to try and ruin their reputation by making it seem like they’re easy to mind control,” I finished off my burger and sat back in my chair. “Celestia hasn’t said anything about making an announcement about this whole thing, and I hope she doesn’t. I wouldn’t like the attention I got for being a prince.”
“But… that’s just about every colt’s dream, and you’re living it!”
“I mean, being a prince by technicality isn’t the same as being a prince by birth right, or anything. Celestia likes me, but I’m not sure if she actually loves me in that sense; they way you’d love your own child. Besides, being a prince sounds like a pain in the ass. If I weren’t a changeling, most ponies would be trying to kiss me arse twenty four seven, and I wouldn’t be able to just ‘talk’ with anybody. That’s what the Princesses go through everyday, and I know that’s starting to wear on them.” Trixie blinked, before quickly downing the rest of her food.
“Trixie sees. Well, the Great and Powerful Trixie would like to thank you. As soon as she is able, Trixie will repay you for feeding her.”
“Nah, no you aren’t. In fact,” I magicked off my coin pouch, there was still a considerable amount in it. Like over half the pouch was still full. I’m not familiar with Equestrian money, but I can assume somebody can live off of this for a little bit. Then I handed it to Trixie. “Take the whole thing. Spend it on food until you can score a big show somewhere. And before you protest, I ain’t going to let a friend starve while I get to live in a castle all day.”
“You… consider Trixie a friend?” I nodded. Trixie then gave a great and powerful squeal before magicking me up and pulling me in for a bone crushing hug,
Eventually me and Trixie had to part ways for the day, Trixie wanted to have another go and put on a show later tonight, and I have to be back before dinner. But there was still quite a bit of time before I absolutely needed to start heading back. I kinda stumbled here and there, because Trixie had hugged me so hard that she managed to squeeze the feeling out of one of my front legs. Trixie was really excited about the prospect of being my friend, like a dog who just met its owner after three weeks.
Anyways, I’m just wandering around Canterlot aimlessly. Taking lefts, rights, diagonals, going in any direction really. It doesn’t matter.
As I continued down the street I had just turned onto, I quickly took notice that this was the same street where I had been assaulted by a shop owner. Well, there’s that one place advertising daisy burgers, so I can go there instead. I trotted past the ice cream shop, and immediately the door opened. I halted and stood where I was. With Celestia and Luna being preoccupied, this guy could do whatever he wanted now…
It was the goddamn shop owner.
“Where do you damn bugs keep coming-“ the owner stopped when he looked at me. “Great, you’re bucking back! Look, I don’t know how you managed to mind control the Princesses, but you aren’t fooling me, you stupid bug. I know you’re manipulating them into thinking you’re a good changeling, but your tricks won’t work on me, you freak! Let me tell you something true, something you cannot deny because you, yourself are a changeling:
“There are no such things as good Changelings, bud. So scram before I throw another good ice cream scooper at you.” I simply nodded and walked past the store owner without batting an eye. Just treat him like Prince Blueblood, ignore him, and the problem will fix itself… hopefully. That method of problem solving seemed pretty bad for solving situations recently.
“Wait!” I froze mid stride. Somebody had walked out of the ice cream shop holding a journal in her magic. “My name is Hot Scoop, journalist for Equestria Daily. You’re the Changeling that Princess Celestia has claimed to have adopted. I just got done talking to the owner of this lovely establishment, and I would like to hear your side of things, changeling.” The shop owner was blowing steam. “May I take up a bit of your time to interview you?” Hot Scoop asked with a shining smile. “We can even discuss this over some ice cream if you’d like.”
“I can answer some questions, just not over ice cream. Me, Luna and Celestia had so much cookie pizza in the palace, that I don’t even wanna look at ice cream,” I burped with a nervous chuckle. “so… what are these questions you’re gonna ask me?” I asked as we looked for a bench, far from the ice cream parlor, to take a seat.
“How did you, a Changeling, manage to get into the custody of the crown?”
“I got found in the Crystal Empire and Celestia and Luna thought I looked cute.” That was technically true; Celly has made it abundantly clear that she found my stupid face adorable. And I’m pretty sure Luna does too. I was being ‘truthful’ because I don’t think letting my, now, ‘subjects’ know that there’s multiple universes is a thing I should be doing. Especially without asking Luna or Celestia-
I’m becoming a good politician; I’m lying through my teeth.
“I’ve just noticed that you don’t refer to Princess Luna, or even Princess Celestia by their titles. Is there a reason for why? Do you still have loyalty to your Queen?”
“Well, I have no Queen, and Celestia and Luna seem to prefer it when they aren’t referred to as princesses all the time. They may be nigh immortal, but they’re still people. A fancy title and the ability to raise celestial bodies doesn’t change who they are to me. Okay, maybe I am a tiny bit scared of what Luna or Celestia can do to me if they wanted to, but they’re still just a couple of ladies to me, who seem to like me to some extent. Heck, I spent the last… six hours on a train with Celestia and used her as a pillow.”
I stopped. “In… in other words, I’m comfortable around them, to the point where I don’t see them as princesses. They’re just my adopters, and I actually love them a lot. So they’re just Celly and Lulu to me,” the journalist brought her hooves up to her cheeks as she ‘awed’ at that.
“Oh dear Celestia! I did not think I would live to hear a Changeling, a Changeling, refer to the Royal Sisters by nicknames! That is adorable!”
“Sir,” the journalist looked up from her journal, and I snapped up at Sergeant Dagger. “It is time to return to the palace. If we leave any later, you’ll be late for dinner.” I nodded to my guard as he turned to walk back to the castle. I trotted up to the side of my guard, he kept his gaze set straight, his expression dead serious.
“You know, that journalist is going to spin a lot of your answers to put you in a bad light, correct, Nogla?”
“So? Everybody already doesn’t like me,” I paused, taking a moment to relish in the quiet street we were on.
“I’m not an idiot, and I’m not naive to what journalists do; I’ve seen enough of those to know that they aren’t out to keep the public informed. Hot Scoop wants to make a quick bit, and I can’t fault her for being on the grind. Painting me in a bad light would probably sell for a lot, especially with a title such as ‘Changeling Mind Controls the Royal Sisters in its First Step in Conquering Equestria’ with tag lines such as ‘revenge for the Royal Wedding?’.”
The road slowly gave way to a more… wild looking area, where there was more grass, bushes, and even trees as I spoke. This place was… nice and peaceful. “Do… you not care about your reputation? Surely as a prince-”
“I barely even register as a prince in anybody’s eyes, so I’m not a prince. Yeah, the country’s diarchs treat me like their son, I think, and have legally adopted me, but I’m just some stupid bug that they felt sorry for. And what kinda fucking reputation do I have? Even after I stuck out my neck for that shop owner earlier, he still hated me because I’m a Changeling. Hell, it’d be god damn better if I wasn’t legally a prince, because now everyone thinks I’m mind controlling their princesses!” I kept my tone flat.
Sergeant Dagger came to a halt, and stopped to look at me. His gaze kept on me as I kept on walking. “Not everypony thinks that, Nogla. I know you’re not; you seem to genuinely seem to enjoy being in the Princesses’ company, not for food, but because you like being around them. Believe it or not, both Princess Celestia and Princess Luna have some experience in negating any mind control that you’re capable of. They have to in order to be able to run a country for as long as they have.”
“Come, sit on this bench with me, and let’s have a chat.”
“What about getting back to the palace for dinner?”
“I feel like your mental health is more important than getting you back home in time.”
“I’m doing fine, Dagger.”
“You’re not fooling anypony, Nogla. And you definitely aren’t fooling two mares, who have had thousands of years to learn pony body language. While you aren’t a pony, even I can tell that you aren’t doing well mentally. I’m no therapist, so I cannot fully assist you, but I am here if you need to talk. Heck, I’m willing to bet that Princess Celestia has a degree in psychology.”
“Only a couple dozen, Sergeant,” Celestia’s voice stuck out in the quiet atmosphere like… well, a bird’s song. Her voice was just pleasant to listen to.
“Your highness,” my guard bowed.
“At ease, Sergeant. If you wish, you may return home for the night. I can handle things with Prince Nogla from here.” Sergeant Dagger nodded before taking his leave.
Oh god no.
Celestia had led me over to a picnic table, she looked hilarious while trying to sit at said table by the way. The way her legs pretty much took up the entirety of the underside of the table, while the table itself barely came up past her stomach was pretty funny. Luckily, I got to relish the funny scene since Celestia was giving me a concerned look, that made me really not want to look her in the eyes. If anything, I want to go hide in a bush and never come out.
“So… how was the last two hours after we split up?” I asked.
“It was quite lovely, I got to catch up on some reading…” Celestia reached across the table and set a hoof on my shoulder. “I heard what you said, everything. From how you were only adopted only because I, and Luna, had felt sorry for you. About how you do not see yourself in such a positive light, and I did not need to be told to know about that either. So I would like to ask, why do you think Luna and I have gone out of our way to spend some time with you even before you were adopted?” Celestia cocked her head. “Because I was simply going to adopt you to keep you safe during your time in Equestria.”
“I dunno, to make sure I wasn’t some deranged lunatic, or lying to you before you adopted me. I’d like to make sure the ugly bug horse I’m adopting isn’t a psycho-”
“What did I say about putting yourself down, Nogla? Do not call yourself ugly. Ever. You are a handsome, adorable little changeling. I don’t want to hear any buts either, you may look odd, but you aren’t ugly,” Celestia said sternly. She sighed and dropped the stern expression before giving me a sad, but confident look.
“You’re a pleasant colt to be around, Nogla. While your language… is a bit crude at best, and vulgar at the worst, you’re a good colt. I don’t approve of how you’ve managed to gain an affinity for alcohol at such a young age, but-” Celestia magicked me over the table and into her forelegs. “I like you, Nogla, you seem to have a sense of humility, and didn’t let the notion of becoming a prince get to your head. After you made the mistake of helping to fuel the flames of a conflict, you’ve held back from responding. You’re willing to admit your wrongs and correct them.”
“I still called the shop owner a ‘fucking donut’. That definitely didn’t help make the situation, from earlier, any better. I didn’t correct myself very well, did I?”
Celestia shook her head. “You simply need to break that habit. Worry not, I can assist you in breaking any bad habits that you have!” Celesita rested her chin on my head.
“But you still managed to stop before you could say anything more. Something far worse than calling somepony a donut…” Celestia paused. “What does that mean by the way? I am quite curious, and I've never heard the word ‘donut’ be used as an insult.”
“I called the shop owner an idiot when I called him a donut.”
Celestia snickered. “I need to write that down somewhere. Faust knows I need it for when I get… some less sensible individuals during Day Court.” Celestia then nuzzled the top of my head. “Do know that myself and Luna do indeed love you, and wish the best for you.” I melted into Celly’s embrace and let out a sigh. “And worry not, in time, I’m sure my little ponies will begin to accept you for the pony you choose to be, not the ‘pony’ that you are.” Celestia’s wings flared.
“Come, let us return to the castle for dinner. Luna will be angry; she’s trying her hooves in cooking again,” Celestia said with a grimace.
“She sucks at cooking, doesn’t she?”
“Well… let us just say that she had tried to cook some soup and burnt the ingredients, the broth, the pot, and the stove she cooked on. Luna enjoys cooking, and you living with us might have resparked that enjoyment, but do know that most of the meals she cooks… will be very, very well done.”
My eyes widened. “Can’t we get daisy burgers instead? I had some earlier, and they’re great.”
“Perhaps another time… Lulu gets upset when we choose fast food over her cooking.” Celestia laid me out on her back. “Worry not, we shall get daisy burgers another night. I will admit, I prefer them to hay burgers, though Luna would beg to differ.”
With that, Celestia then shot off into the stratosphere at terminal speeds, and I didn’t scream like a little girl while holding onto her neck.
*clip clop*
My eyes shot open and the slight chance that we are on something I can walk on. Okay, I don’t want to learn how to use my wings; I’m scared of heights, how fun! I hopped off of Celestia’s back while laughing, I stumbled here and there as I spun around to face the solar diarch. “That was fucking awesome! Can we do that again?” I swung an arm to the side and stumbled again. “Oh man, that made roller coasters seem lame!”
“I take it that you want to learn how to fly even sooner, now?” Celestia giggled and folded her wings. “Of course we can go ahead and do that every now and then. Though, I am not quite sure if my guard would appreciate me taking off to the sky as fast as I can, with the new Prince riding on my back. I fly much, much faster than most of the guards as is, and my guards would rather be able to keep me in sight when I leave the castle.”
“They also probably wouldn’t like seeing me ride on your back. Imagine the scandalous articles! You adopt a prince, a changeling no less, and immediately have him ride on your back! What’s next? I get another kid to pop out of you?” Celestia’s cheeks flared up.
“Nogla, that is the type of humor I would expect from Luna!” She laughed, and put me on her back(not in that way, you pervert).
“Sister! Child! Hurry up before your food gets cold!” Luna shouted- no, blasted from inside the palace. My ears started ringing from the sheer volume.
“Speaking of which, let’s not keep her waiting.”
I stared down at my plate of ashes, it smelled good, but I think the only thing edible on here was the garnish, which was just lettuce and apple skins. I looked up from my plate and Luna happily ate her ‘food’ and Celestia did her best not to gag as she shoveled piles of ashes into her mouth. Somehow neither of them were gagging, so I guess ashes can’t taste that bad. I took an apple skin and gnawed on it.
“So, Tia, are you enjoying my culinary efforts?”
“Of course, Lulu. This is the best apple pecan salad I have had in a millennium,” Celestia said. Pausing to take a sip of water. “I must say, I do especially like the pecans you’ve chosen. They are very well roasted, and add a nice crunch to the dish.”
Luna raised her head in pride and she turned to me. “Well Nogla, how are you liking your salad?” I dumped the entire pile of ashes in my mouth. Oh god this tastes fucking awful! Celestia took notice of my discomfort and her horn glowed- oh, the ashes are gone from my mouth. Thank Celestia for that, that’s a popular saying, right? I grabbed my water cup and took a small sip and nodded. “Delicious!”
Luna glared. “You hate it, don’t you?”
“Okay… yeah. It was burnt to a crisp and then some. Like I think you managed to burn ash. Which is quite impressive since I think that might be your sister’s thing.”
“I thought I would try to grill the salad, that it might give it a nicer texture.” Luna sighed. “Perhaps I should take up cooking classes again.” Luna laughed. “I suppose it was a pretty dull moment of mine, thinking that grilling vegetables would end nicely.”
“Think the chefs would get angry if I were to try my hands in cooking? I think I can save tonight’s dinner.”
“Oh please, you shouldn’t even know how to cook. You’re a child!”
“Care to bet, Lulu?” I asked with a smug grin.
“If you can make an actual meal that tastes good, I will do whatever you wish for twenty four hours.”
“If I lose?”
“I get to dress you up in whatever outfit I like, and you have to wear it for twenty four hours.”
“Alright. Where’re the kitchens?”
Celestia showed me where the kitchens were, and I had gotten to work. With the help of the chefs, who mostly just pointed out where everything was for me, I decided to just make a bunch of Irish dishes from my home. Irish coffee(I was allowed to use actual whisky, score!), mashed potatoes, Irish stew without any beef, and some apple slices for dessert. I’m not my mother when it comes to cooking, but I think I picked up a thing or two. Anyways, the kitchen staff were willing to lend me a cart to move my dishes easier.
I pushed the door open, and Celestia and Luna were chatting away about their days tomorrow, and both snapped up at the stupid little Changeling with a cart of food. “Finally! I am famished!” Luna clapped her hooves as I moved the cart up to the table and started to distribute the contents evenly amongst the three of us. Celestia eyes the coffee very closely, and proceeds to take a sniff. Her eyes squinted before she looked up at me.
“You put whisky, cream, and sugar into coffee?” Jesus, she picked that up from just smelling the coffee? That’s really cool.
“Only a really small amount. It shouldn’t give you much more than a very light buzz,” Luna took a sip or her own coffee, and her eyes widened.
“That is good,” Luna sighed in content before glaring at me. “But how did you get a hold of whisky? And you best not have made yourself a cup.”
I slowly magicked up a nice, big cup of apple juice and took a sip. “Nah, I don’t like coffee that much anyways. Irish coffee’s great, incredible even, but I like something sweeter.” Luna and Celestia, in sync with each other, then took a spoon full of stew, and I grinned. “So, did I win the bet?” I asked with a grin. Before I could open my mouth again, Luna picked up her whole bowl and drank every single drop, ate every bit of filler in the soup, and licked her lips. To my surprise, she didn’t get a single drop of anything on her coat, the table, or the floor.
Celestia took a more ladylike approach and continued to calmly put spoonfuls in her mouth…
Then Celestia brought the bowl up, disregarding her spoon, to her face and stuck her snout in it. Slurping and chewing noises soon followed.
“Okay Nogla, you win,” Luna said with a sip of her coffee. “For the next twenty four hours-”
“Can I get you to let me drink some of that coffee?” Luna shook her head.
“Even under the circumstances, I will not allow any underaged drinking under this roof.”
“Feck.”
Celestia belched, her face covered in soup and potatoes. “Excuse me, but I think I need you to teach my chefs the recipe for all of this,” she eyed me. “How do you know how to cook?”
“Ma’s homemade cooking. Once a week, the whole family, as in me, my brother and my mother, all get together and eat some of ma’s cooking. I tend to help her out a lot… and I picked a few things up, and even made a few dishes myself. Just be lucky I didn’t make any fries, you would not, I repeat, would not be able to stop eating them.”
“If your current record states anything, I believe if you made hay fries-”
“Oh hell no! Those aren’t proper chips! That’s it, I’m going to make you some actual chips!” I hopped out of my seat and stormed towards the kitchen.
One batch of chips lasted approximately two seconds(after their first bite) between both of my adopters. In fact, Celestia demanded more chips.
Author's Note
Welp. One week of hyperfixation on writing, editing, and scene planning done. imma go eat chicken.
thx for reading btw, tell me how you’r liking the story so far!
For once in the last couple of days, I had woken up on my own accord, and it felt weird. No Luna, no Celestia, just me, myself, and I. The sun had managed to creak through the little cracks in the curtains, where said curtains had failed to fully block out the world outside. It made the room look kinda cozy despite how big and grand it actually was, but I knew I wasn’t going to stay in here all day. I still got a whole city to explore, which I was looking forward to, and being cooped up all day would suck.
I quickly took care of my morning routine, brushing my teeth, using the bathroom, taking a shower, and I’m ready to face the day ahead. Maybe today I will go ahead and spend the day in the castle, as I might as well get acquainted with the insides of this place. It’s only where I’ll be staying for the next couple of years, so putting off on learning the castle will surely only have benefits, right?
Anyways, I closed my door to… wow, nobody. No Celestia, no Luna? Apparently they were ‘going back to schedule’ as per usual, so I should probably just assume that my adopters are doing whatever the heck princesses do, and not question my sudden solitude. After all, how could I turn up some time to myself?
So I began to walk through the halls while humming the little tune I heard yesterday while exploring Canterlot. I’m also just going to skip breakfast today, it’s what I normally do anyways, but it’s something I’m gonna do today.
I’m a little rebel.
I stopped myself around the sixth turn, seeing as I am now thoroughly confused as to where the heck I am. I looked here, looked there, and shrugged before heading off in another direction. I don’t really care where the heck I end up, but I just hope I end up in some random location by the end of my wandering. Oh look, a nice long line of ponies who ranged from rich, to your usual everyday pony.
Every single one of the ponies looked at me and kept staring with mixed looks of hatred, fear, confusion, and mostly just disdain. A few of the richer looking ones simply turned their noses, while the ones closest to the doors started staring at the two guards in front of said doors.
Both of the guards that were standing in front of the doors had also caught sight of me almost immediately after one of the rich ponies nudged them and pointed at me. “Ah, you must be Prince Nogla. We’ve been informed about you… do you wish to see Princess Celestia right now?” One of the guards asked.
“Wait, why’s this line here?”
“This is the line for Day Court. I’m certain that Princess Celestia would be willing to hold up the line-“
“Why aren’t you two taking care of that damned bug? For Celestia’s sake-“
The doors opened with two ponies walking out, both with smiles and a couple of documents, being tailed by Celestia who waved the two mares goodbye as they went down the corridor. Well, speak of the devil and she shows herself. Celestia immediately noticed me and smiled. She walked over to me, all regally with a glare, like she’ll regally kick my ass, before kneeling down and nuzzling my cheek.
“Good morning Nogla. I am surprised that you managed to make your way to the throne room. Do you need anything? If you wish to have breakfast, I can have a guard escort you to the dining hall. If you’d like to wait, then I can go until eleven-hundred and make you pancakes!”
“Uh… I was just walking around the castle to try and get familiar with it. Though pancakes do sound lovely right now.”
“Uh… Princess?” One of the nobles in line piped up. “Are you being mind controlled by that thing?”
“That thing has a name, my little pony. And to answer your question, I am not under the influence of any kind of mind controlling spell; those simply won’t work on me. Nogla here is a prince, adopted by me as my son, and Luna has adopted him as well, as an aunt. As such, I shall tend to him as I see fit, and I believe Nogla can help out with day court.”
“Wait what?” Everyone, myself included, shouted.
“Uh… are you sure I should be helping? I can barely even lead a school dodgeball team during gym class. You think I can decide whether or not somebody gets something important like a loan?”
“Well, I mostly wish to keep you here with me so I may spend some time with you. And it will help with getting my little ponies used to you.” Well, I can’t really argue with that, because my brain has melted into a pile of goo, but it’s still something I can’t argue against. “Ms. Inkwell, feel free to send the next partitioner in please.”
“Of course, your highness,” the secretary opened the door and a rich looking pony walked in, looking mildly concerned about the changeling(me) sitting beside the throne, before handing the Princess a few documents.
“This looks like you wish to purchase a piece of land for… what exactly? This is exactly where the marketplace in Canterlot is,” Celestia looked over the documents really quickly, jesus. Well, she was only the second one. “And you would like to buy several streets where there are already established businesses. Please…”
“My name is Quick Buck, your highness. You see, Princess, I have been meaning to find a better way to sell my wares, but there simply is not enough space for them in the marketplace. So I would like to buy out the entire thing and control what is happening-”
“Uh…”
“What is it, you freak?”
“That sounds really bad, like really bad. For starters, you buying the marketplace would lead to you being able to tell who can or cannot sell anything in the marketplace… isn’t that land owned by the crown or something?” I looked up at Celestia who shook her head.
“It is a Canterlot City property. While the Crown is stationed in Canterlot, the city has its own city council and regulations. It just happens that myself and Luna have chosen to have our home and palace in this wonderful city,” she corrected. “But you do raise a good point, Nogla. This seems like an attempt at promoting anticompetition, which is quite bad for the economy. Unfortunately, Quick Buck, I cannot allow this to happen, and this is a matter you must take up with Canterlot City Council.”
“But your highness, you were my last hope for this! Please, my business-”
“Hold it, Quick Buck, how much money do you make in a month?”
“Fifty thousand bits a month, why does that matter to you? You’re a Changeling, you probably don’t even know what a bit is!”
“It’s a type of currency, I know that much. But Fifty Thousand a month… twelve months in a year- oh look, you’re making six hundred thousand bits a year. At a minimum, you’re already a millionaire. Boohoo, you don’t have all the money in the world. I believe some of those fine ponies down in the marketplace are smaller, family business, yes?” Celestia nodded. “Aight Quick Buck, go with what my mother told you, and just go home. Before you say I have no right in saying what’s going on, I’m just giving you advice; is it really worth making it seem like you’re disobeying the Princess of the Sun? Bringer of the Morn? The very pony that is the highest power in Equestria, if not the world? While also in her castle where she can sick the entire guard on you for starting a coupe?”
Quick Buck opened his mouth to speak before closing it. He glared at me, bowed to Celestia and stomped out of the room while grumbling what sounded like slurs.
“I have yet to see a noble change their tune so quickly about having their petition being denied,” Celestia grinned. “I should use that argument more, it would save me a lot fo headaches.”
Most of the other petitioners came and went without a hitch, some asked me about what it’s like to the ‘son of Celestia’ despite me being a changeling, others brought actual problems up that were solved. All of them were shocked that I was a changeling, and a quarter of those petitioners had asked if Celly was being mind controlled by me, all of which received a resounding no. As it turns out, Celestia is so old, that she has some resilience to basic mind control spells.
“The last petitioner of the day!” Celestia clapped her hooves. “I’m surprised that you hadn’t said much beyond the first petitioner. You sure did have a lot to say to that noble, some of which was slightly uncalled for, but it was entertaining to see how angry you can get at a noble, and in turn, make them just as angry.”
“I coulda actually insulted him, Celly. I was just telling him the truth; he’s well off and doesn’t need to expand his business any further. Sure, maintaining said business is important, but snuffing your competition out, most of whom aren’t as well off, is fucked up. And I get angry over it… So who’s the last petitioner?” I asked.
“Somepony named Trixie Lulamoon,” Ms. Inkwell read off her clipboard. My ears perked up. As in Trixie from yesterday? The only pony to treat me incredibly well despite what I am?
My first pony friend?
“Well, let us see what Ms. Lulamoon has come to ask of us today. I heard she has… been struggling quite a bit since Ponyville.”
The doors opened and Trixie, her hat and cape were notably absent, walked in and her expression lit up upon seeing me. The showman quickly bowed to Celestia. “Good afternoon… your highness. Trixie has come to thank your… son! Nogla, it is great to see you-“
“Hey Trixie!” I hopped down from my spot next to Celestia and felt my wings go ‘buzz’ as I hovered on over to my friend. “So, how’s your day going?”
“Oh it is wonderful! Trixie is scheduled to put on a show for a school, where she will get paid a small sum. While not nearly as much as you have given Trixie, it is still much better than the last few months she has had to endure with barely any shows, and by extension, very little money.”
Trixie had chosen now to pull me into a hug and start nuzzling her cheek into mine. This was nice, I like this. I want to keep this pony.
“Am… Am I missing something?” Celestia asked while cocking her head.
“Oh, Princess, this little changeling you have adopted is wonderful! Trixie has told him of her woes, and he had not only bought her dinner, but given the rest of his money to Trixie! Now she has at least seven hundred bits to keep her going until next year!”
“Nogla, is that why your guard didn’t return your money pouch last night?” I nodded. “Well… I cannot say I’m disappointed or mad. In fact, I am quite happy that you’ve managed to make a friend so quickly. What’s more, you’ve helped a pony in need! Oh, I wondered what my grandfoals would have looked like from time to time if I ever had any foals to begin with!” Celestia clapped her hooves with an almost childlike glee.
“What does that mean?” I asked. I really don’t know what Celestia is implying.
“Oh nothing, Nogla. Though I must point out, you have just flown across the room to greet Trixie. Perhaps Cadence is pulling some strings?”
“What does the Princess of Food have to do with me and Trixie?” For some reason, the mare’s eyes widened. Trixie then reeled back and started to choke on her spit for a second.
“T-Trixie can see where this is going, Nogla is a tad too young for Trixie’s preferences… And she would prefer to not know what giving birth is like.”
“What does that mean again?” I asked, cocking my head.
“You’ll learn when you're older,” Celestia said while snapping a picture with a camera she hadn’t had until just now. “I can’t wait to show Luna this picture!”
I could see a little mischievous sparkle in Celly’s eyes as she watched Trixie alone, bumbling about what she had just said, while I was completely clueless.
Meanwhile…
Quick Buck grumbled to himself as he stomped through the streets of the plaza. If it weren’t for that stupid bug pointing it out, this plaza would be his! Every street leading in and out of the plaza would also be his, and his business would flourish far, far more than its current state.
“Stupid bug’s probably mind controlling the Princess, that is the only reason why Princess Celestia wasn’t practically begging for me to buy this stupid place out.”
“I believe I know of a way to solve your problems,” Quick Buck stopped to see a rather attractive looking mare, a unicorn no less, standing behind him.
“And how will you solve my problems? My business is beginning to fail, and there’s no way you’re going to be able to get me the rights to the plaza even if you tried!”
“Well, it is quite simple. But first, may we speak somewhere more… private if we can? I can explain everything, and tell you why I am interested in helping you.” The mare purred. “After all, I have some issues with the changeling that was adopted by Princess Celestia!” Quick Buck grinned.
“And what does this plan involve?”
“Follow me and I can tell you everything!” The mare rubbed the stallion’s chin in a seductive manner. Quick Buck nodded dumbly before following the mare into a dark alleyway.
Quick Buck had followed the mare, who went by Chrysilium, into a simple little house. It wasn’t anything spectacular, but the mare didn’t seem to mind. It was entirely unassuming and on a street where Quick Buck knew guards patrolled the least in Canterlot. Once inside, the unicorn had closed the door before turning to the stallion, who had just taken a seat at the coffee table.
“Now… that we are here, let us get down to business. I suppose I also do not need this disguise now that we are alone…” Chrysilium was engulfed in green flames, which slowly began to break away as it revealed a black exoskeleton. A wavy, almost transparent followed a jagged, rough horn. Insectoid wings fluttered as they were revealed for the world to see, and long, hole riddled legs finally began to give way. Now, instead of a unicorn mare that stood roughly at Quick buck’s height, stood a changeling that stood at Princess Celestia’s height.
For some reason, Quick Buck still found this thing to be very attractive
“Before you start screaming, I am merely here to collect a rogue, little drone that believes it is wise to mind control a foreign leader into adopting it. And for my plan, I need you, Quick Buck.”
“A-and why should I trust you?”
“Because I wish to make peace between my kind and Equestria, but I cannot do that if a drone is mind controlling the Princesses, can I? That little drone still has plans on taking over Equestria, which is why he had defected from my Hive… unfortunately old habits die hard in my drones, and this drone in particular, needs to be eliminated.” Queen Chrysalis silently added that she mostly just wanted to take something away from the Princesses, anything that seemed to make them happy.
“So… Can I get your help, little pony?”
“It depends…”
“I can convince the Princess into letting you buy the marketplace plaza.”
“Well… count me in!”
“Foolish foal,” Chrysalis whispered before going into her plan with the stallion.
I poked and prodded at my food, Day Court went on for much longer than expected, so instead of breakfast or lunch, we were having brunch. Good thing for me too, since I’m still not hungry. It’s a shame too, since this looks like a nice little salad mixed with what looked like French Toast, which was actually called Prench Toast. Seriously, the amount of stuff that sounds eerily similar to actual places on Earth is a bit scary, but I suppose it comes along with the fact that this supposedly a parallel universe to mine.
At least that was Twilight’s working theory given the presences of people that not only went by the same names as her friends here, but acted almost exactly the same in my world. Jesus, when I end up going home, I can’t tell anybody about this can I? Not without being seen as a lunatic at least. Can I even really go home? I mean, nobody who goes missing, is presumed dead, and comes back is ever really looked at the same ever again.
I wouldn’t be treated the same as I would if I never showed up in Equestria.
“Are you alright, Nogla?” Celestia asked.
“At first I just wasn’t hungry, I don’t know why, but after some thinking, can I even go home?”
“Of course, once the portal opens up-”
“Yeah, I can go home once the portal opens up again, but… nothing will be the same. Time frames aside, I won’t be treated the same. Instead of me being treated as ‘Nogla, that one kid who’s just kinda there’, I’ll be ‘that one kid who apparently died and came back’. I don’t think I’d want to go back on just that alone. I’m already as good as dead by the time I can even go back home, assuming time moves the same across both dimensions and the last, so if I never go back, not much would change. And if I stayed here, I don’t think many would be accepting of me even a decade from now.”
Celestia paused midway before taking a fork full of lettuce and swallowing. “Well, I am sure your mother would be overzealous to see you again after thinking you were dead.”
“And then she wouldn’t treat me like how she did a week ago.”
“Over my life, I have seen many things, experienced nigh everything. From foals not knowing their place in the world, to young adults questioning if life is even worth living… and I know what it is like to not be able to see your loved ones for quite some time, I did have to banish Luna to the moon for a thousand years, and I still treat her as I did back then, if not a little better. Even if I do try to force some more time with my sister whenever I can, I still treat her as I do. However, this is because I knew Lulu wasn’t dead, in fact, I don’t know if I would be able to treat my sister the same if she were to suddenly die and come back alive and healthy the next day, week, or even a year from now.”
Celestia lifted me up with her magic and pulled me into a feathery embrace that made me melt.
“So while I cannot give you a definitive answer, there is always a next time for the portal to open, should you ever wish to return to your home. But if you do not, then you will always have a place in Equestria.”
My stomach finally growled.
“Well, I shall leave you to your meal, I must finish up and attend a few meetings I have scheduled. If you need anything, you can ask a guard for something, or to summon me, or find Lulu if she is awake at this hour.” I nodded and gave Celly a nuzzle, which made the Mare of the Morn seize up for a moment, before she nuzzled me back, and got up to go perform her Princessy duties. Suddenly I didn’t feel so hungry again, but I still ate the food; it would be rude not to.
The next day, I decided to go on a walk around Canterlot again, now that news about me has probably spread even more now with me being in Day Court, and potentially in a newspaper. So hopefully more ponies will either be accepting of me, or at least not. Celestia had given me a new money pouch, saying that I deserved it for ‘being such a good friend to Trixie’, according to Sharpened Dagger.
I stopped at some point, looking into a jewelry store and eyeballing a nice little pocket watch. It wasn’t golden, but it was mostly made out of silver. There wasn’t a shot in hell my small amount of bits would be able to buy that, but it was a nice little watch. Perhaps I can…
“Do you want that watch, sir?” Sharpened Dagger asked, appearing out of nowhere. I yelped and that got a little smirk out of my guard. “I take it you didn’t know I was here, which meant I’m doing my job well.”
“Yeah, you gotta give me stealth lessons at some point! I wanna sneak up on Luna or Celestia one day.”
Sharpened Dagger smirked. “I can definitely give you pointers, though I have found it nigh impossible to truly catch either of the Sisters off guard. Some theorize that they can pick up on magical signatures of other creatures, which would make sense since some unicorns can do exactly that. And alicorns are a mix of all three tribes, but on steroids.”
“Aw, I wanted to scare the shit out of Celestia mid paperwork.”
“I still wouldn’t recommend that, as it would probably end very poorly for one reason or another. Besides, aren’t you a changeling? You could just shapeshift into anything you want-”
“I dunno how to do that. I uh… am pretty young and no’ling could teach me before I was tossed out of my Hive.”
“Well then… c’mon. If you want that watch I can get it for you. Believe it or not, you have your own personal fund that’s actually significantly more than the bits given to you each time you head out, which is already pretty substantial as is. I, or the Princesses just need to be present when you wish to use that personal fund on substantial purchases like that watch.” My eyes widened in shock as my guard practically dragged me into the jewelry store.
“How many bits do I have in my money pouch again?”
“Let’s just say, you have at least three weeks' pay of a new recruit in the guard.”
“What the actual fuck, that is way too much for somebody like me.”
The guard chuckled. “I take it you aren’t used to having that much-”
“I’m just… holy shit, that is… can’t I put half my personal fund into some charity or something? Like I know I won’t be spending even a quarter of it, so I might as well put it into something that’ll help ponies out.”
“That can be arranged.” The guard patted me on the back and went to talk to the store owner.
I walked out of the jewelry store with my new pocket watch, the same one I was eying, on a chain around my neck. At the very least, this will help others differentiate me from other changelings should the need arise. On another note, this is a really nice watch that I can use to actually tell the time with, and I can do it in a cool way too! I held the watch in my magic for a little bit before allowing it to fall on my chest, where it swung side to side with every step.
“So, where to next-”
“Oh dear Celestia, it’s that changeling!” A couple of mares walked up to me and started going on about how ‘cute it is’, or ‘I can’t believe I’m seeing such a tiny little changeling’. Great, back at home I was kinda tall, and apparently I’m short here. That’s good, that’s really good actually. I hate how people point out how tall I am, but now the exact opposite is happening, where everypony’s pointing out how short I am.
“What the heck is going on?” I asked while being manhandled by a couple of ponies.
“Didn’t you see the newspaper?” One of the mares asked.
‘What?”
“I just got us a copy sir,” Sharpened Dagger said, emerging from the ethereal dimension this guy seems to reside in. “Judging from how you’re on the first page, I’d say you’re going to be really popular soon if you already aren’t popular.”
The two of us sat on a bench, and I had ended up leaning on my guard, who made zero protests, so I just didn’t move. As Dagger had said, I was on the first title, and the headline read ‘Princess Celestia Adopted a Changeling’ and it started going on about how cute the whole thing was. From a shot where I was being carried away by Celly on her back, to how I refer to Celestia by a nickname on occasion.
“Surprisingly, nothing says you’re mind controlling the Princess-” Sharpened stopped when a flash of light blinded us momentarily.
“I think that camera guy has you beat on stealth,” I chuckled.
“Those damned journalists, we can never truly catch them before they run off with material for their latest scoop…”
“Say, you don’t actually mind me leaning on you like this, right? I know you’re my guard and you pretty much just go with whatever I’m doing, but I know I must be invading your personal space.”
“Don’t sweat it kiddo, it’s kind of like having my own son. Never had any foals of my own, so this is as close as I’m getting to that. It’s… pleasant.”
I couldn’t tell if my guard was lying, but he seemed to be pretty genuine.
“Well, let’s expect some scandalous articles, like how you’re dating Celly, and I’m what popped out. Soon enough, some’ll start theorizing that you also might be a changeling.”
“Ha! I wish I was dating Princess Celestia! What good colt hasn’t dreamt of doing that at least once?”
“I can get you two hooked up-”
“No, notta. She wouldn’t have interests in a simple guard like me.”
“You never know until you try! Come on, I can get you hooked up with Celly and-”
“The problem with that is, I would have to get used to ‘Celly’ and learn how to stop treating ‘Celly’ as Princess Celestia. I haven’t tried to court the Princess mostly out of fear, but also because I know how hard it would be for me to see past the Sun, and just see the mare that lies underneath. Plus, wouldn't it be weird to have me marry your mother?”
“Meh, my actual father was barely in the picture. If he was, you think I would be here, leaning on a guard? No, I’d probably be like every other freak that is my species, and try draining said guard for every ounce of love he’s got… like I am about to right now.” I pounced on my guard and the two of us began to wrestle…
Why did I think this was a good idea? It just felt right.
Kevin snickered to himself when he managed to fool the guards, he had just infiltrated the Castle, the second Castle of the Two Sisters, and it wasn’t even that hard! All he had to do was change into a guard and he was allowed in! Kevin the Changeling God, that is how his kind will remember him for pulling such a task, while performing a duty specifically given to him by the Queen herself! Kevin walked down the hallways and stationed himself outside of a door, which he could sense had some nobles in it.
Just select one, follow them, and kill them in a way that grabs everyone's attention, and do it with that defective drone in the close by. That’s the plan the Queen had laid out for him, and it was perfect! He could torture one of these foul ponies, and kill them all in one go! All while capturing that stupid drone that thought mind controlling the Princesses would save him from the wrath of the Queen.
For now however, he would just have to patrol the halls like any Royal Guardsman would, and bide his time for the right time to strike.
Sergeant Dagger carried me on his back throughout the castle, as I was tired. Despite my greatest efforts, I could not pin this guy down while wrestling unless Sergeant Dagger let me. It didn’t help that the dude was trained for fighting, and also probably had a good hundred kilograms on me. Eitherway, we had a lot of fun, and now… Sergeant really doesn’t feel like some guy that’s just watching over me because he gets paid to do it.
“That little wrestling match really took a lot out of you.”
“Well, I was never the most… fit buggy in the Hive; I’m not built for fighting. I would much rather sit down, read a book in front of the fireplace, and relax. Hence why… I left my Hive.”
“Hah! I feel ya. I would much rather not fight anypony, but the opportunity to give my skills to the Princesses and keep their palace safe is something I simply couldn’t pass up!” My guard nuzzled me… holy fuck. We stopped out of my room, and the door was opened with a simple little tap from the guard’s hoof. I was then laid down on my bed, and the guard pulled the blanket over me.
“If you need anything, I’ll be right outside the door. I believe one of the Princesses will be coming by to wish you goodnight, but I think you’ll be out like a light by the time one of them shows up. Sleep tight, Nogla, and don’t let the… bedbugs bite!”
“That was horrible and you know it.”
The guard laughed before heading to stand guard by my door.
Author's Note
welp. things are gonna pick up next chapter. so be prepared!
I woke up and felt my wings buzz a tiny bit. Today might be a good day, since judging from those mares from yesterday, I think ponies might start accepting me. And while it might not be the biggest deal, it would make going through Canterlot easier, and that would be awesome. Like this city is really cool, but I can’t really enjoy the city when every other person I pass by gives me the stink eye, can I?
Without another thought, I rolled out of my bed, landed on my hooves(score!), and trotted for a moment before thinking. I had, according to Celly, inadvertently flown across the throne room just to greet Trixie, so perhaps I can… My wings began to buzz as I felt my legs begin to dangle in the air. I blinked a couple times before going a little higher, and higher, until I could touch the ceiling.
This is awesome! I leaned forward and let out a hardy laugh as I moved forward. A lean to the left, well, I went left, a lean to the right, so on and so forth. I hovered above the bed, before allowing myself to descend… only to drop all the way from the ceiling onto my bed. I screamed before making impact with the mattress, which thankfully took most of the pain out of my fall. I landed on my stomach, so my wings were going to be fine.
One quick look over later and I knew I hadn't broken anything. Maybe I can get some pointers from Celly or Lulu at breakfast. They got wings, wings made of feathers, but surely the process of landing after flying was the same despite the differences that my insectoid wings had from the bird-like feathers my adopters had. Actually, I want to go find Luna and hang out with her.
It’s been a solid day since I’ve seen Luna, and I really like her. I like her about as much as I like Celly, but I haven’t seen the lunar alicorn in a whole day, and I missed her. I could’ve seen Lulu at dinner, but after wrestling with my guard, I was brought straight to bed.
Now with a goal for the day, I rolled out of my bed, and trotted over to the bathroom to brush my teeth and shower.
I stepped out the door to find… Sergeant Dagger is missing. Perhaps he was just doing his job and being unobtrusive, but I was hoping to keep chatting with that guy. Despite the rough exterior he has to have as a guard, Sharpened Dagger is probably one of my favorite ponies so far. Like the guy had let me drool on his shoulder after I dozed off mid wrestling match. I don’t know anybody who would’ve been even remotely okay with that.
Well, there really isn’t much else to do, so I started making my way to the dining hall. While I might not know the full layout of the castle, I do know a thing or two about getting to the dining hall, since it always had food, and I always happen to want or need food. One left, one right, another left, and two doors down… Ha! The door! I pushed it open and walked into the dining hall. Lulu and Celestia in sight!
“Ah, good morning Nogla!” Luna waved from the table. Despite the bags under her eyes, I could tell that Luna was giving an effort to be happy and cheerful around me. Without a second thought, I had waddled over, sat in Luna’s extra large, extra comfy, princess sized chair and scooted close to the Moon Princess. Luna didn’t hesitate in draping a wing over my back. In the corner of my eye, I could see Celestia give a pout about who I had chosen to cuddle with this morning, and Luna must’ve caught on, because she blew a raspberry in her sister’s direction.
Y’know, like a princess.
“So, how was your night, Luna?”A plate with bread and scrambled eggs was levitated over to me. I cut the bread in half with my magic, and stuck some of my eggs into between the two slices… egg sandwich baby!
“It was… tiring to say the least. From the mountains of paperwork that I still have, to defending nigh a hundred ponies from nightmares, I am quite eager to take the day off and sleep after my dinner, or your breakfast in this case,” Luna eyed me for a second. “Though I do not recall you learning a cutting spell, or else my sister would’ve told me about it.”
Celestia in question was staring at the egg sandwich I had made, before grinning. “I haven’t even been able to teach Nogla about how to use his magic. There is just so much extra work after our… little vacation. I have only been able to gauge how he might rank amongst unicorns in terms of raw power, which is slightly above average. How did you learn how to cut things?”
“I just chose a point in the bread, and thought about separating it by grabbing different ends of the bread,” I said before taking a bite of my sandwich. Okay, I need to know who the fuck scrambles these eggs, because they are perfect. I will find out who, and I will praise them for such good eggs! Like these are very, very fluffy. Very nice.
“So I don’t think that would even count as a spell, would it?” I asked.
“No… I suppose it wouldn’t, however, that was an ingenious way of cutting things. It’s something I try to teach my students; think outside the box.” Celestia smiled. “I wouldn’t have thought you would try doing something like that when a cutting spell was off the table…” Celestia grinned at her own terrible pun.
“I didn’t even know there was a specific cutting spell. But it’s a human thing to think about various ways to do the same tasks. Since we don’t really have magic, we just go about things. Like we need something to stick to this thing? Hot glue. If that doesn’t work, a hammer and nail. The one thing we humans have over most animals is how we can think; we don’t just rely on instincts.
“I suppose in this case, since I can’t use magic very well, I chose to use my magic in a way to help me cut my bread. After all, I don’t see any knives to cut things with, and I wanted to cut my bread and make a sandwich.” I took another bite.
“I suppose when you come from a species that might not naturally have magic, once given the ability to use magic, it would make sense that you would think of ways to perform a ‘spell’ without actually doing a spell. Such as cutting bread in half with levitation. It makes you more intuitive with magic.”
The three of us continued to eat our dinner and chat about some other things, mostly about teasing me about the photo that Celestia took of me yesterday. The one where I was cocking my head to the side while I was confused. Meanwhile Luna kept asking me if I ever thought that Trixie was pretty, to which I said yes. Each time I said Trixie was pretty, one of the sisters would whistle.
Why are they whistling? I just think that Trixie is kinda pretty.
“S-stop it changeli- ack!”
My head snapped up from what I was doing, which was reading another Daring Do book on some bench leading up to the library. I had just gotten the book when somebody shouted that at the top of their lungs. Getting up to go see what the heck just happened. Lying on the floor, bleeding out, was the mangled body of some… body. I didn’t know who they were, they were mangled to the point where a decent chunk of their face was shredded. It all seemed… barbaric yet calculated. It was horrifying, but I couldn’t take my eyes off of the sight.
There was a bloody knife laying close to the body.
I started to tremble as I stepped closer to the body. “Uh… sir?” I knew the guy wasn’t alright at first, he was pretty beaten up, but the thing that made me nearly puke was the wound on the stallion’s throat. It was a pretty deep gash, right where the jugular would be, and was where most of the blood was coming from. This pony, whoever they were, was dead. That was that, somebody was gone, and nobody knew where the killer was.
My hooves were slightly soaked in the pony’s blood by the time my initial shock had calmed down. I was still shocked, but I could at least think beyond ‘oh my fucking god’. My first thought was to find somebody, anybody to tell, to at least get the body collected so it could be sent back to a family or… something! I don’t know! I raised my head and turned to see a decent amount of guards in front of me. I shrank back. Then I stood up as tall as I could, despite how much my legs were shaking, and jerked my head towards the dead body.
“H-hey help me out over-“
“The Prince has gone feral!” One of the guards shouted. Before anybody could react or think, I took running.
I didn’t know how long I’ve been running for, I don’t care. I need to get the hell out of here! God, Celestia and Luna are probably going to think that I actually am just some changeling that had duped them, won’t they? I can’t show my face anywhere without… I shook those thoughts out of my head and slipped into a public restroom to catch a breather.
After running my hooves under some running water, I cleared my head, and began to think. My only way out of Canterlot, that I knew of, was by train, and there was a slight chance that I could get onto the train if… I stick to alleyways and sneak onto the train from there. The only problem with that plan was that I haven’t exactly gotten used to the layout of Canterlot yet. It was a big city, and I barely had two days to explore it.
Three breaths later, I slipped out of the bathroom and kept moving.
There were many things that Princess Celestia had come accustomed to over her long life. The solar princess had seen it all, the death of a comrade in her hooves, diseases, and suffering of her people. When it comes to the pain of others, while not apathetic, Celestia had thought she had grown used to seeing blood, having spilt some during pre-unification, and death, having seen so much of it.
What she saw laying on the ground, a pony mutilated to the point of him being unrecognizable, was nearly too much for even her. Every cut looked deliberate and calculated, as if it was supposed to cause the victim as much pain as possible before going for the finishing blow. The only thing that anypony could gather from the corpse, was that it was a male, and that was it. The spots where something identifiable, such as the cutie marks, were shredded to pieces, the face was torn and mangled as well, leaving very little to find out who this pony was. There wasn’t even a scent beyond Nogla’s scent.
Looking over the body, was Princess Luna, who seemed to be glaring at it, before turning to her elder sister with pure anger in her eyes. The Moon princess turned to a guard, the one who had called them down to the hallway leading up to the library.
“And you say that Prince Nogla was behind this?”
“Yes, your highness, Nogla was covered in blood by the time we found him. We believe that he might've… physically lashed out at this pony after the pony berated him.”
“Or perhaps our trust was greatly misplaced. Nogla is a changeling, a master of deceit. Perhaps what he said were his origins were false,” Luna stated. “And if that is the case, we must make haste before that thing gets away. Go get a squad of guards and block every possible way out of Canterlot. And have the captain send another to watch the train station.”
Celestia was, for the first time, at a loss for words. Had a simple changeling really managed to fool herself and her sister? Nogla seemed so genuine…. if that was even that drone’s name. Even if it had turned out Nogla was completely innocent and, for sure, what he said he was, there was no way that little drone could prove otherwise.
“I shall go notify the rest of the guard to be on high alert. We may potentially have another changeling invasion on our hooves. I shall also alert the Elements of the situation.” Celestia’s voice, much to everypony’s shock, even Luna’s, was that it had run cold.
I stuffed myself into a suitcase compartment on the train, out of sight, and hidden away from the rest of the train passengers. I worked hard as hell to not be seen, so the last thing I need is for somebody to see me, shout, and ruin my chances of getting out of Canterlot unscathed. Surprisingly, it was incredibly comfortable to be stuffed into such a tight space, so this worked out surprisingly well.
It was a surprisingly close call, I could hear some ponies, probably guards, shouting orders and ‘securing the area’.
I let out a sigh of relief after I shut the suitcase compartment. Now what? I have no idea as to what I can do. Like I could turn myself in, but then what? There isn’t a shot in hell that either of my adopters would think I’m actually a cold blooded killer, but what could they do? For all everyone else knows, I killed somebody, and that was that. It would be very hard to bail me out after such a crime.
Outside my hiding spot, I could hear ponies chatting away with each other, and enjoying their lives. You lucky bastards, I could barely enjoy mine before being stuck here, and then I couldn’t even enjoy being stuck here for more than three days! I can probably cook, but I doubt I would have any money to get food after today, so I will starve to death eventually. I could feed off of love, but I don’t think I know how to do that.
Where the fuck can I even go? I don’t think I can just waltz up to the Crystal Empire, since I’m sure Celly would tell Cadence and Shining Armor. I have no clue what Ponyville looks like, so I might just accidentally end up in Ponyville where there’ll be six ponies looking for my head.
What if Luna and Celestia think I’ve duped them? There’s no way, right? God… where the hell is Sharpened Dagger, I want somebody to tell me everything will be alright.
I laid my head in my hooves and dozed off, using the train’s wheels as my lullaby.
Sergeant Dagger
I watched Nogla make a dead sprint onto a train to Ponyville. I knew there wasn’t much I could do to prove that little drone’s innocence, but I do know one thing. I know who the culprit is, and I am going to find them. I will make them, before the Princesses, admit what they have done, that they have framed Nogla. As his guard, and… for my friend, I will get to the bottom of this and prove that Nogla is entirely innocent.
I turned around with a sigh and started making my way to the palace to do some research, and perhaps even find the changeling that had actually committed the crime. Now, if I were a changeling, where would I want to be at this very point and time? Perhaps somewhere they believe they won’t get caught.
I caught sight of a guard, who was also watching Nogla, but they were snickering the whole time… there was blood on their armor. I glared at it and started following it.
A sudden jolt shot me awake, did somebody find out that I’m here? I lifted the door to my compartment ever so slightly.
“We have reached Ponyville!”
Perhaps I can explain what happened to Twilight? She’ll be very understanding of what is happening, right? I slipped out of the luggage box, and slipped out an open window… and holy shit. If Canterlot was big and grand, Ponyville was small and cozy. It was kinda reminiscent of my home back in Ireland, except these houses had hay or straw rooftops, whereas my roof had tiles due to how much it rains in Ireland.
Well, I can't really afford to stand around, I need to find Twilight, and I’ve got no clue as to where she would be. There definitely wasn’t any way I was going to actually ask anybody where a Princess Twilight Sparkle would be, they’ll run away from me before I can even ask, if not immediately chase me out of town. So I stuck to the shadows, only for a rainbow blur to slam into the ground in front of me.
Well, I know where Rainbow Dash is now.
“What are you doing here, Changeling?”
“I uh… got lost?” I hope I had talked to Rainbow Dash enough for her to recognize my voice, or my ‘weird accent’ as I’ve been told to have.
“Nogla?” Rainbow cocked her head to the side. “Why the heck are you in Ponyville? Wouldn’t Princess Celestia be worried sick about you?”
“I can’t explain why I’m here… just can you tell me where Twilight is?”
“I can do one better! I'll take you to her!”
“Wha-Fuck!” Rainbow grabbed me with her hooves and immediately took off at speeds that would make Sonic the Hedgehog jealous.
“Are we certain that Nogla has, or could have, done… all of that?” Celestia asked.
“Of course, eyewitnesses said that they saw that thing standing over the body for quite some time, and some even claimed to hear somepony screaming for mercy from the same direction that… that changeling was in. Perhaps that was simply a spy sent by Queen Chrysalis that was very, very heavily informed on what Twilight Sparkle was doing at the time, and used that to its advantage. Worry not, we can capture the changeling and question it if we capture it alive.”
“I… if we’ve been deceived, then I do not know what to say. I want to give Nogla the benefit of the doubt, but there is no way for anypony to prove anything beyond claiming to have seen a changeling, Nogla, standing over a pony’s dead body.” Celestia looked up from her tea. “I just find it hard to believe that the very changeling that had eagerly went to you for cuddles at breakfast, could be such a cold hearted killer, even if Nogla was lying about his past.”
“That is because that thing was playing us like a fiddle, sister.”
A small trail of flame maneuvered its way through a door. It was from none other than Twilight Sparkle. Celestia began to read it before dropping it.
“Twilight says that she has captured a changeling.”
Earlier…
Rainbow Dash knocked on the door to a tree house. Like not a house built in a tree, buet a house built into a hollowed out tree. It was kinda insane because, from what I can tell, the tree was still alive. If it weren’t for my current situation, I would’ve stopped and tried to piece together how the fuck this was possible. Like it seems really cool, but incredibly implausible and pretty hard to pull off.
Also, the sign out front said ‘Golden Oaks Public Library’, so why was Rainbow knocking? I opened the door and walked in.
“Hey! You can’t just walk into somepony's home like that!” Rainbow trotted in behind me despite what she had just told me. I swiveled my head to face her as I continued inside. Wow, this is marvelous, books, it… it’s a library, that’s for sure! It was honestly really cool, it had a nice, woody smell, like freshly cut wood, while having a nice, old, timely appearance that felt rather cozy.
“It’s a public library, you’re allowed to go in without knocking…” I turned back and… there’s the Princess in question. Twilight Sparkle was reading a scroll, or rather, Spike, her dragon, was reading a scroll to Twilight who’s eyes were as wide as dinner plates. I never really got to meet Spike, or talk to him, but I have heard about him. So the only baby dragon I’ve seen so far is definitely Spike.
I hope so, or that would be pretty rude.
“Your former mentor, Princess Celestia!” Spike rolled the scroll back up.
“Hey Twilight!” Rainbow waltzed up to her friend while I was frozen. Hopefully that was just an old letter, right? Clearly the postal service would’ve taken some time to-
“Hey Rainbow, I need you…” Twilight’s eyes fell upon me. “What is a changeling doing here?”
“Uh… hey?” I waved. Twilight’s horn immediately lit up, and the next thing I know, I’m tied up and lying on the ground. “W-what the hell was that for?” I knew better than to struggle or try to break free. What the hell was I gonna do? Twilight was apparently a very powerful magic user, and once she told Rainbow Dash, then I’d be caught in mere seconds the moment I broke free and made a run for it.
“Twilight! What the hay are you-“
“Get the rest of our friends, Rainbow. I’ll explain it once they get here.”
I barely listened to what Twilight was telling her friends. I already knew what it was, I apparently killed some guy, when all I wanted to do was read Daring Do, and quite possibly hang out with Luna when she woke up again. Why couldn’t today have just been normal? It should’ve gone like this:
Wake up, morning routine, eat, wander around the city, get called a slur, cry, cuddle with a princess, wrestle said princess and get my ass kicked, and then laugh with said princess as we goofed off.
And instead, I’m tied up like a criminal for a crime I didn’t commit, without any way to prove my innocence. Occasionally one of the Elements would shoot a glare at me, all except for Pinkie, as Twilight continued on with what she was saying. I eventually got fed up, and since I wasn’t going to get any sleep, I decided to speak up.
“You know, it’s been a really fun day. I love being accused of murder, and having everybody suddenly think I had tricked them all into thinking I was just some socially awkward kid from another dimension. I love going from that nice, maternal love that Luna and Celestia were giving me, to being treated like I will actively slit everybody's throat.”
Twilight stopped, and along with the rest of her friends turned to look at me.
“How do we know you’re not just saying that to-“
“I fucking let you borrow my phone to study it, you dumbass! Fuck, Celestia literally played with a device made for entertainment, from my world, that I also highly doubt exists anywhere in Equestria! I have done nothing, not a damn thing you all that would be considered even remotely…” I took a deep breath.
“Y’know what? If I manage to get away I’m gonna go hide for the next two and a half years. Oh wait, I probably won’t even get that will I? I’ll probably get chased to the ends of the earth and put in jail for killing somebody I didn’t even lay a hoof on!” I laid my head back down. “Fuck it, I give up. I’m willing to bet that you already sent a letter to my wonderful adopters, telling them about how you caught a monster. I may as well become what you say I am.”
Everybody in the room stared blankly at me, and I wasn’t about to hear them make any rebuttals. I managed to flip myself over and face the wall. Oh look at that, another Daring Do book. I lit my horn and brought the book over to me and began to read- a ring had slipped onto my horn and the book fell on the ground.
Princess Luna
Despite my sister’s urging, I have decided to come along to confront that little changeling. That thing, that foul creature has had the audacity to trick my sister and I in such a manner, and then kill somepony. For all we know, it was trying to get close to my sister to try and have a go at her as well. The very thought made me angry, as that pony could have been anypony, myself, Twilight, a foal.
All the reason to make sure this changeling is detained.
The moment we touched down in front of Twilight Sparkle’s library, I jumped out and ran ahead of my sister. I slammed the door open, and everypony in the room looked up from what they were doing to look at me.
“Greetings, Princess Twilight,” my sister had walked into the room after me, ducking down so as to not bump her head or horn on the frame. I gave a small little chuckle, and would’ve made a remark on my sister’s ongoing battle against door frames had we not come for such an important reason. The Elements did a quick bow, and Twilight Sparkle immediately got to business.
“We got Nogla in the corner,” she said, pointing at the changeling in question. And there it was, laying in the corner, facing the wall, was a changeling. Around his neck was a chain that held onto a pocket watch I'd noticed at breakfast. The thing’s legs were tied up and there was a magic prohibiting ring on his horn, hugging it tightly. Laying in front of him was a Daring Do book that was being held open with both of his forelegs.
“Are you going to face us, changeling?”
Nogla
“Hey Luna,” I had raised my head and lifted my forelegs up to it. I cut the rope that was binding them with my horn before removing the rope that had my hind legs tied up. I sat up with a stretch and turned to face both of my adopters; I already knew Celly was here; I heard her voice. The look Luna was giving me was probably enough to set the Sun on fire… I have never seen so much anger and hate on anything’s face before.
“You dare to-”
I laId back down and started facing the wall again. I really do not want to look at that face. It doesn’t help that I can sense Luna’s emotions, but at least I won’t have to look at the angry princess.
“I was hoping to spend the day with you, even if you were gonna be knocked the fuck out from document signing and nightmare hunting all night. So if nothing else from this situation, we can spend the day together, you, me, and the inside of an interrogation room full of various torture methods that’ll make me scream and want to die. So I’m looking forward to that, Lulu. Though I do request that you don’t peel my carapace off of my body, and instead choke me until I can feel my lungs burn.”
Luna used her hoof to roll me over and face her. “Do you think this is a joke?”
“Sister,” Celestia had placed a hoof on her younger sibling’s back.
“Oh, I know this situation isn’t a joke; somebody’s dead and you think I killed him. I can’t really get myself out of this situation, can I? No way to prove my innocence, and there’s only three ponies who I’d thought would think I’m innocent. One thinks I’m a cold blooded killer with nothing but hate in my heart, the other is missing, nowhere to be found, and the last seems entirely uncertain about this whole thing.” Luna began to press her hoof into my chest.
“Do you think-”
“Hey Celestia, remember that device I showed you? Y’know, the Nintendo DS? Remember how I showed you something that straight up doesn’t exist in Equestria?” the princess nodded. “Isn’t that enough evidence that I haven’t lied about my origins at least?” Celestia took a deep breath.
“It shows that you aren’t lying about your origins, but we aren’t certain if you have, or haven’t killed that pony in the hallway.”
“Yeah fuck it, just drag me away to a dungeon and decide what to do with me from there. At this rate, I doubt I’d even be allowed to walk as a free man, let alone be allowed to go home. Let’s just get it over with, you can banish me to the Sun or whatever, and I’ll be out of your hair. W’la! One less cold blooded killer out of your hooves!”
I was lifted up in a yellow hue and laid out on Celestia’s back.
“We are going to hold a trial, my sister and I will be your audience. From there you can try and prove your innocence.”
Despite everything, I felt… safe on Celestia’s back, and now I have a plan. I nuzzled into Celestia’s neck, which made her jolt. I closed my eyes and started snoring.
Celestia
“He… actually fell asleep on your back,” Luna sighed. “If it were not for the fact that that thing has killed somepony, I would consider that to be cute.”
“We have yet to know if Nogla is innocent or not,” I said after walking out of the library. “I know Nogla is not lying about where he originates from; there’s too much existing evidence to prove otherwise. From the devices he has, one of which Twilight describes seeing, to describing something that Twilight said she had done while in this… other dimension, and Nogla’s proximity to the mirror lines up to him being from this other universe.”
“But we have yet to see-“
“I know, Lulu.” We both had got on the chariot, “I would love nothing more than to have Nogla be innocent in all of this. Then we can go back to how things were yesterday… or even this morning.”
“I do as well, sister. But for now, we have to wait for the trial.”
Nogla
The moment I heard the chariot take off the ground, my eyes shot open. Now my legs weren’t tied up, so I could still move. Celestia and Luna seemed to be busy shouting at each other in a bubble, so now was my chance. So I decided to just go ahead and wing it. I waited until the chariot was at a good height in the air, and away from Ponyville, but not too close to Canterlot. Now or never…
I looked down and noticed a forest with a very thick canopy. Like it was so thick that I couldn’t see the forest floor that the leafy blanket hid below. Well, my fall won’t be too bad if the leaves were as thick as they looked from up here. I took a quick glance at Celestia and Luna again, who finally noticed I was awake, but the bubble had yet to disperse. I gave both of them a nice, fake, cheery smile and wave before rolling out of the chariot and plummeted to the floor below. I made sure to hold my legs close to my body as I nose dived.
“Nogla!” I could hear Celestia shout before I hit the canopy, hitting every branch possible, before hitting the forest floor below.
Sharpened Dagger
The Royal Guard I had been stopped and quickly made a sharp turn into an alleyway, not noticing I was behind him. The entire time, the guy was snickering to himself, and whispering something to himself like a maniac the entire time I had been following him. I continued to follow the bastard into an alleyway before I reached a dead end.
The guard turned around.
“Now-“ I didn’t give him time to speak, I threw a nearby trash can at the guard as hard as I could, and knocked him out… almost immediately, the guard was engulfed in green flames, revealing a fully grown changeling drone. I smirked; Nogla was truly innocent.
I grabbed the doppelgänger, tied him up, and started dragging him back to the castle.
Author's Note
And... the moment I’ve been waiting for. Next chapter may or may not have a happy ending, or a bad ending depending on how I feel about killing off a character or two. >:)
you’ll just have to wait and see next chapter!
Nogla
It was midday by the time I had woken, I was laying down in the mud, my entire right side hurt like hell, the side laying on the ground. That is the last time I jump out of a chariot while it’s flying through the sky… Man, I can’t show my face literally anywhere, can I? Ponyville has ponies who think I killed somebody, Canterlot has ponies who think I killed somebody, and everybody everywhere else will think I will kill somebody.
I’m just… so done honestly. I thought that at least Celestia would have my back. Sure, Celly was more than willing to give me a chance to prove my innocence, but the thing was, I had to prove my innocence. I, some random teenager that was unfortunate enough to end up in this stupid, fucking, dimension, would willingly kill somebody in said dimension because… What would my motive be? The pony I killed wasn’t one I could physically recognize at all… Heck, I had two princesses adopt me and treated me like I was actually their son.
I had every reason not to kill anybody.
Yet because I was found with the body, I was immediately assumed to be the murderer. I wanted to get the body to a hospital or something, get the pony identified, so we can at least tell the family of the pony who died…
I can’t really dwell on that for long, can I? I’m in a forest with stuff that’ll likely try to kill me, so I plan on not dying… I looked at my watch, which was surprisingly still intact, and clicked a button on it. Holy shit, it has a compass in it! If I keep heading north, I can hide somewhere around the Crystal Empire until the portal opens up, and then I can go home after sneaking in.
If I make it. There’s absolutely no way I can get there on hoof without at least starving to death.
I’ve no idea how long I’ve been walking, but what I do know is that I’ve managed to make my way out on the other side of whatever forest this was. I was still limping, since I’m sure something inside of me is broken, but I’m still alive. Nothing has tried to chase me, thank god for that, and I managed to find a little cave for me to live in. Y’know, if I learn how to changeling and shapeshift, I could easily walk to and from the town I was just at for food and supplies.
I groaned the very moment I got off my hooves, and laid on my uninjured side to see my carapace was cracked. There was a tiny bit of blood, but so far, I could tell nothing was wrong beyond bits of my carapace digging into the soft flesh underneath it, which actually hurts like hell. Well… This was not how today was supposed to go. I rolled onto my stomach and laid my head on my hooves.
I can’t go home, I can’t make a home in Equestria, I have nowhere I can call home. My actual family thinks I’m dead, my adopters think I killed somebody, and now likely think I’m dead. Luna seems to hate me with every fiber of her being and I could barely understand what Celestia was thinking of me… Was jumping out of a flying chariot a good call? I mean, I was going to die when I can’t defend myself in court, and I am alive, but what’s the point?
If I don’t die to some animal, I’ll die of starvation. Celestia(I think Luna is happy with thinking I’m dead) might send somebody to look for me. Then whoever they send will drag me back to Canterlot where I will promptly be beheaded for murder and attempting to flee while under arrest. I can’t, for the life of me, use any magic thanks to this dumb ring on my horn. I don’t know why, but it just stops me from being able to use magic, so I can’t even really defend myself.
Thinking back to it now, I really did warm up to the princesses too quickly. They were just being so… nice that I couldn’t help myself in getting attached to them. It’s in my nature to be friendly with anybody I meet, it’s how we Irish do things after all, and was willing to actually call both Luna and Celestia family in a few years.
Look where friendship gets you; a fucking cave in isolation. It only fucking helps that I can see Canterlot from the mouth if the cave.
I cried myself to sleep, not caring if something just kills me while I’m sleeping.
Third person
In Canterlot, the Royal Sisters have just arrived back at the palace. Both were completely silent, and had been since their prisoner had basically committed suicide just to get away from them; they watched Nogla jump out of a flying chariot down into the Everfree Forest. If the fall didn’t kill the changeling, then something like a timberwolf will, and if that didn’t kill Nogla, there were plenty of other monsters that would consider the changeling an easy meal.
“Princess Celestia,” Raven Inkwell walked up to the Princesses. The receptionist noted the severe lack of a changeling in chains, but chose not to dive into that matter. Her clientele didn’t seem happy about their missing prisoner.
“Yes, Ms. Inkwell?” Celestia said, wearing a content mask.
“Sergeant Dagger requests an audience with you. He has something he would like to show you.” Celestia nodded, and Inkwell had turned to Luna. “I believe you should accompany your sister; it has to do with the murder of… Quick Buck.”
“So the identity of the victim has been discovered in our absence?” Luna asked while walking along with her sister and Ms. Inkwell.
“Indeed they have.” Inkwell said as they made their way to the throne room.
When the princesses made it to the throne room, they stopped almost immediately. Sitting on his rump, was Sharpened Dagger, Nogla’s personal guard. That wasn’t what had shocked the Sisters, as there was a changeling, sitting in ropes, glaring at the guard. Sharpened side eyed the changeling for a moment before standing up to bow.
“Your highnesses,” Sergeant Dagger stood up from his bow. “I have found a changeling, the very thing responsible for the murder this morning.” Sergeant Dagger nudged the changeling. “You best speak up, or things will not be pretty for you.”
“Fine,” The drone snarled. “I killed that stupid pony to set your cute little drone up! Are you happy?” The drone laughed. Dagger looked at the princesses after tying the changeling’s muzzle up to shut it up.
“I believe we owe Prince Nogla an apology. Is he in the dungeons?” Celestia and Luna had frozen in place; a mixture of shock and grief broke Celestia’s usual, polite mask. Luna on the other hoof, just looked guilty. “Your Highness? You did find Prince Nogla and retrieve him, correct?” Sharpened Dagger asked.
“We did, Sergeant…” Princess Luna choked for a moment. “But Nogla, while in the chariot, decided to make a getaway; he jumped out over the Everfree forest, but couldn’t fly because we had bound up his wings.” Luna looked up at her sister, who was doing her best not to cry. “I have reason to believe that Nogla is long dead, either from the fall, succumbing to his wounds from the fall, or to one of the many dangers that the Everfree possess… Prince Nogla is dead.”
Sergeant Dagger took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and took several more deep breaths. Over the short period of time his ward was placed under his eyes, Prince Nogla had proven to be a good foal despite being a changeling. While the Guard had never understood how or why the Princesses would have adopted a changeling, the changeling in question was somewhat polite and friendly. Even if the drone seemed a bit nervous in crowds, likely due to Nogla being assaulted the first time he was left without Dagger’s, or the Princesses’ present out in public.
And he was dead. The kid had most definitely died because of what had transpired today. The guard’s ears flattened against his head when Princess Celestia, for the first time in front of any guard in recent history, had started crying.
Nogla.
Three years later…
Sunlight creeped into my cave, shining in a way that almost perfectly made my humble little home feel very cozy. In the center was a firepit with a pot that I had stolen, it was boiling water, with nothing in particular. Just some potatoes, carrots, something. No matter how much I had eaten, I still felt hungry. Granted, I was still doing fine, but I just always felt hungry when I was in my cave.
However long it’s been since… My crimes, I don’t know, nor do I care. This was honestly a nice life, I stayed in my little cave, farmed a few crops, mainly potatoes(it was one of the only plants I knew how to care for that was edible), and lived a rather lonely life. On occasion, I did consider going to Ponyville, but I think the town may be gone at this point. Because now, where Ponyville stood, was a castle. It was tall, tall enough to the point that I could see it past the massive forest that acted as a border between my land, and Ponyville’s. It kinda looked like a nice, crystal tree, and it was probably Twilight Sparkes’ castle. A Princess needed a castle.
Ah, the thought of dealing with a Princess now made me laugh. If I waltzed on into Ponyville, I’ll probably get my head chopped the fuck off for being a changeling.
I mean, now I wasn’t a Prince, there simply wasn’t a way for me to be a Prince. I ‘killed somebody’ and then went missing for… however long it’s been. My pocket watch was my only source of knowing that an hour passed, but it had no dates on it.
I looked at myself in a puddle of water, my makeshift mirror, taking note of how rough I looked. My carapace, once smooth, and flawlessly shiny, was covered in dirt, and the right side of my face had a few cracks in the face plate. In fact, there were several cracks in my carapace, a nice souvenir I had picked up after jumping out of that chariot oh so long ago. It was just kinda funny thinking about it, why did I think that was a good idea? I will never know. Why couldn’t have that day just gone as planned, where it ended with not being framed with murder, and using Luna as a pillow.
That was a name I hadn’t thought of in years.
My horn was now a weird shape, having to grow around the ring that was still stuck on my head, that prevented me from using magic in any capacity. It made me angry because of how excited I was to have access to magic, only to not be able to use it at all.
Soon after I was done inspecting myself, I was engulfed in green flames as my form began to change. Now, staring back at me, was a pony, a stallion that was roughly about as old as I was. Which I think was seventeen or eighteen at this point. I had a light gray, scruffy fur coat, and an even scruffier black mane. I may not like going into towns, but it did keep me from having to look at those stupid, big, blue eyes that belonged to a monster. At least like this, I resembled a person enough to not be killed on sight by another pony.
And I could do this while I have this ring on my horn, so this was actually kinda useful. I’ve no idea how it works, but it’s still pretty cool.
I took the pot of water, potato and carrot soup, and placed it off to the side to let it cool down. Well… I might as well go forage in the forest to see if I can find anything.
Over my time of living on the outskirts of this forest, I’ve noticed one or two things. Mainly how just about every animal in here will try to kill me if given the option to. On occasion, I do manage to find a manticore who won’t try to rip my head off my shoulders, and I end up wrestling with them, but that was pretty rare. There was a Hydra somewhere with a mustache, where one side looked like somebody cut their tail off and tied it to that side of the mustache, but that didn’t really matter to me. The Hydra usually left me alone, so I left it alone.
Now timberwolves, those were the most dangerous thing in this forest. Canine-like entities(I can’t even call them animals, you’ll see why), that were made up of wood and only seemed content with killing and eating anything remotely pony shaped. Given that I am pony shaped, and often disguise myself as a pony, I was a prime piece of meat on the menu for timberwolves. There were a few times where I considered just trying to see if I could tame one and keep it as a pet so I wouldn’t be lonely, but that always came with a possibility of me dying.
Anyways, I found a few things, mostly wood, dirt, and rocks. There really wasn’t a lot in this forest. On occasion there was a tree with apples in it, and that was always a fun treat, but other than that, there was nothing.
Something rustling in the leaves brought me away from my thoughts, like considering if I should take a rock home to try and eat it or keep it as a pet to talk to, and I got ready to run when I saw a pair of green, glowing eyes. The very eyes of a timber wolf, which likely meant I was going to die even if I tried to run. The only way for me to get away most of the time was to climb a tree and wait until the timberwolves lost interest in me.
That, or fly away if I had enough room to fly.
What came out of the bushes was not something I had fully been expecting. What hopped out of the bushes was indeed a timberwolf, but it was about the size of a puppy. It probably was a puppy. It sniffed here and there, before its eyes fell on me. Its mouth opened to reveal a cute little leaf tongue… That is cute. How can something so cute become something so dangerous? I knelt down and held a hoof out.
“Hey there…” The timberpup waddled over to me cautiously, sniffing at my disguised hoof, and then I moved my under the pup’s jaw and started rubbing away. The timber wolf pup took to me almost immediately, wagging his little fern tail, ears perked, and eyes shut as I continued to pet the little guy. Holy smokes, this guy is so cute! Oh I want to keep you, you cute little pony eater! I picked the little guy up, who was surprisingly okay with me doing so, and placed him on my back. Fuck, now I’ve gotta go to somewhere with a library, and then read up on timberwolves.
Because this dog, even if it was made of wood, was still a dog, and I’ve always wanted a dog. What twelve year old boy hasn’t thought of getting a puppy at some point?
A cat person, that’s who.
“C’mon little… Sapling,” I chuckled at my amazing name. “Let’s go to a library and read up on you! Then we’ll go home and have some cold potato and leaf soup, and you can have… some dirt I guess.” The pup barked, which sounded adorable and scary at the same time, before it curled up close to the back of my neck, and went to sleep.
I found something to live for, and now my entire emotional well being is anchored to this dog.
Me and Sapling were now on the other side of… the forest. I'm certain the place has a name, given how big the place was, but I never really got the chance to talk to literally anybody during my self imposed exile. Sapling was now happily trotting beside me, tongue lolling out, trying to get me to play every now and then, which was more than happy to oblige with. Most of the games involved me chasing him, or vice versa, but we never really broke the direction we were walking in despite our games of chase.
It was like Sapling knew where we were going and stuck to that path.
“Well bud,” I took a deep breath, making sure my disguise was holding up. “Let’s get in, find a book about you, and get out.” Sapling barked before continuing to trot beside me as we approached town. The entrance to… Ponyville, so the town was still standing, was just shortly after a bridge over a small stream, and… we were in Ponyville. Considering how dangerous the forest we were just in, Ponyville is ridiculously close to the edge of said forest.
Maybe I should learn the name of ‘The Forest’ while I and Sapling leave for my potato farm outside of a cave.
Several ponies waved at me as I passed by, only to do a double check at the puppy on my back, before taking a few steps back. Sapling didn’t seem to care about the large amount of distrust and possibly hate going his way and it made me jealous. I wish I had the brain of a dog sometimes, just don’t care if somebody hates you, just keep going and pee everywhere. Or just sniff everything like Sapling was doing right now. The pup was trying to get a smell at just about anything that he could from on my back.
The main thing I noticed while walking was all the decorations that were up, like they were almost exactly like Halloween decorations. Jack O'lanterns, carved pumpkins, fake skeletons, everything. The whole thing was eerily too similar to Halloween to be normal, but I suppose parallel universes tend to have similar holidays, right? There were a few decorations that seemed off, like they almost looked like Princess Luna, if the Princess was given a darker coat and was then demonized.
Like fangs, dragon eyes, a snake like tongue, the whole ‘monsterification’ treatment. How the hell a holiday that does that to one of the Princesses, and is still legal to take part in, is beyond me. However the heck Luna let a holiday like this slide is whatever, because I won’t be here long enough to find out about what this holiday is about.
Now where is the library? If I recall correctly, the only library in town was an oak tree, but I can’t seem to find it anywhere. I really want to hurry this trip up before I end up running into a pony who’ll recognize my voice.
“Hey there!” I jolted when somebody, somebody’s voice that I recognized, sounded like they were calling to me. Fuck, I kept on walking, only to nearly come muzzle to muzzle with Pinkie Pie, the Element of Laughter or whatever title she held. “Hey there! Are you new in town?” Pinkie asked. I nodded dumbly, not opening my mouth. “Well, that’s awesome!” I was handed an envelope. “You’re now invited to my Nightmare Night and Welcome to Ponyville, Stranger Party!” What the fuck? Did Pinkie somehow get more hyperactive over the years?
“Uh… okay.” Pinkie then raised an eyebrow, and squinted her right eye.
“You sound familiar, but I can’t put my hoof on it. Are you a-”
“Oh would you look at that, my dog is really tired, and we need to get to a motel asap! See you at the party!” I shuffled away from Pinkie as fast as I could, praying to whatever benevolent god existed in this universe that Pinkie wouldn’t catch him again, only to jump when a chariot, with Royal Guards pulling it, banked around as it descended to the ground below… Princess Luna was in that chariot.
“Son of a bitch.” I whispered as Luna had actually disembarked from the chariot to glide down in front of me…
“Greetings subjects, I have returned for this year’s Nightmare Night!” Luna’s voice boomed. Why was Luna… Oh, Pinkie’s standing next to me. Maybe I can still get away- “You’re a new face, are you new to Ponyville?” Luna was now standing right in front of me.
“Uh… yeah. Let’s go with that.” I did my best to suppress my accent. “I was just passin’ by with my timber wolf. I suppose I can stay for Nightmare Night.” Ha, a fat fucking lie that is. As soon as Luna turns her back, me and Sapling are gonna head back to my cave, and try to find the library again another day.
“Your accent… I have only heard such an accent once before.” Luna began to inspect the pocket watch hanging over my breast. “And that pocket watch… Where have you found such a thing?”
“In the Everfree forest. It was… just lying on the ground.” Sapling hopped off of my back for some odd reason while I spoke. I could hear a slight whistle sound while Luna stared at me suspiciously. It was then that something slammed into my right side.
Narrator
“Look out!” Rainbow Dash had screamed a moment too late, slamming into a gray, unicorn stallion she had not seen before, bracing for impact as she came crashing into the poor fella. “Oh my gosh I am so sorry… Sorry?” Instead of the stallion she had accidentally crashed into, there laid an unconscious changeling, an unreformed one at that, laying on the ground and having begun to stir. “What… the… heck?”
What was equally as strange, the changeling’s horn looked a bit… off. If one looked closely, they would notice a little bit where a magic prohibiting ring had been, and still was, on the drone’s horn.
“Ugh…” the previously suppressed accent was now thick and rich. The voice that the accent accompanied was deep, far deeper than what Luna had remembered, but she made no action. Like Rainbow Dash, the Princess of Night was shocked at the sight, but for an entirely different reason.
“The feck hit me…?” Nogla slowly brought his hoof in front of his face after rubbing the side of his head for a solid minute straight. The changeling slowly looked away from his hoof before looking himself over. “Oh… fuck.” Nogla quickly shot to his feet, keeping his eyes on Luna while slowly backing away. “Sapling, let’s get the hell out of here.” Only then did both ponies notice the timber wolf puppy that was sitting by the changeling drone.
“Wait!” Nogla paused as he had turned around, turning his head to look at who had beckoned him; it was Luna. “Is… what I am seeing true?”
“Don’t act like you’re actually happy to see me, Princess. I’m lucky that you haven’t already blasted me to pieces yet,” Nogla almost snarled. “Because all I am is a simple, changeling drone. Doom to serve my Queen for all-“
“Hold it there, bud, Chrysalis was defeated two weeks ago,” Rainbow said, making Nogla turn to the pegasus, before turning to walk away.
“Nogla,” Luna spun the drone around with her magic. “I… My sister and I know that you didn’t kill anypony.” The Princess stopped when she saw, for just a moment, Nogla’s eyes widened, before shrinking back to a normal size. “And I am sorry for how I was treating you…”
Nogla didn’t say another word before calling his timber wolf to him, and continued on his path home.
Nogla
I dropped to the floor of my cave with a deep sigh. I did not expect to run into Princess Luna at all today, and boy did I hate it. The whole spiel about ‘you’re innocent’ and ‘I’m sorry’ simply didn’t change what had happened however long ago it’s been. It happened, I was treated like the scum of the Earth, and I had to fend for myself for at least three winters. No matter how many times you say sorry, Luna, I will not return to you or Celestia.
Hell, Celestia’s probably forgotten about me after a month or two.
And I don’t think I’d want to be in pony society ever again. So far it just seemed like if you weren’t a pony and looked slightly carnivorous, then you were Satan’s spawn, and you should be eliminated. That fucking ice cream shop owner in particular stood out to me, as I had tried to keep him from getting in trouble, and he immediately assumes I’m also trying to mind control them.
Oh yeah, don’t mind the weird look Rainbow Dash and everypony else was giving me when I was forced to undisguise myself because of physical trauma.
I walked over to my now lukewarm soup and took a sip out of it. Ah, nice, tasteless, yet nutritious… School lunch chicken sandwiches were better than this. Sapling trotted over to me, leaned against my side, and was giving me puppy eyes that were way too cute given that they’re glowing, green dots of light.
“I’m pretty sure you’re the only creature I’ve met that doesn’t hate me for being a changeling… I don’t even register as a human anymore. It’s been so long, so, so long since I was a human that I pretty much only think of myself as… this freak.” I sighed. “How the fuck did I go from a timid, study focused freshman to… this?” I looked down at Sapling, who was simply just staring up at me.
God, I’ve just met this puppy, and he was already my emotional support animal. It’s… just so easy to vent to an animal, or spirit that is shaped like an animal. I offered Sapling a potato, but the timberwolf shook his head, which made me smile a little bit.
This little bugger was making sure I was emotionally stable and we've just met. He’s not even being food motivated, likely because Sapling doesn't even need food like a normal animal would. I picked up my new pet, nuzzled him, and held him close to my chest. Not once did Sapling complain, and suddenly I didn’t feel so empty. This, this was home, and I’m perfectly happy with that.
I was having a lovely little nap, emotional support wolf spirit in my hooves, just relaxing after being stressed out the day before when I heard a bunch of women's voices. They all kinda meshed together, so I couldn’t understand what was being said, and I didn’t feel like getting up to try and greet them; it was better if I just remained hidden and out of sight, then they couldn't hurt me. Even better, they won’t even know I’m here if I remain silent and keep Sapling in here.
Of course, my little buddy wakes up and is immediately on high alert.
Aw, you adorable little bugger. You’re not going to be able to do literally anything to a pony, especially not a unicorn anytime soon, and yet you’re still ready to fight intruders. I love you, Sapling, which is why I am keeping you in my arms so you won’t run outside. Though my efforts may be for naught, as the voices were approaching my cave for some stupid reason.
“Hello?”
God fucking dammit, can y’all go away? I groaned, sat up, and thought about disguising myself, but then I had a thought. If somebody was looking in specifically in this cave, then they probably already knew what I was and why I was here. So I may as well get up, go outside, and face my executors or whatever. So I trotted over to the mouth of the cave to see… Twilight Sparkle and her friends. At first they all seemed a little shocked, before Twilight greeted me with a cheerful little smile and voice.
“Hello there, I am Princess Twilight Sparkle, and you are?”
“Drone twenty seven-”
“That’s the same changeling I crashed into yesterday. The same one that Luna called ‘Nogla’. Same timberwolf pup, same pocket watch, same cracks in the carapace. What the heck is even up with you?” Rainbow Dash asked. “What’s even more important, if you are who I think you are, shouldn’t you be either dead, imprisoned, banished, or banished and imprisoned to wherever you’ve been banished to?”
“Well, considering the last time I last saw Princess Luna, I basically committed suicide because she was gonna execute me, I jumped out of a moving chariot that was only a couple scores of meters off the ground. Into a forest full of dangerous, deadly monsters, then I guess if I were the Princess, she would be surprised to see that I’m still alive. Now, what are you six…” I caught sight of a new unicorn, who was a lighter purple, almost blue, unicorn… Almost a spitting image of Twilight save for slight color differences and mane styles.
“Seven are here for? To arrest me?”
“How… Long has it been since you’ve interacted with another pony?” Twilight asked.
“No idea. Probably during my arrest when I gave a merry little wave to the Princesses when I hopped out of the chariot… three winters ago. Dunno the date and time, hopping universes against your own volition, being held in the wrong universe for no reason, getting used to a new calendar, and then not having a calendar to read makes knowing the date and time of things happening very easy to know.
“Now, let’s get down to business. Why the heck does Princess Luna want me, a criminal in her eyes, wants me to come back? All I got was ‘you’re innocent, and I’m sorry’ because that’ll make me want to walk right back into her open arms, give her a hug, and pretend like this never happened. Forgive and Forget; a rather harmonious thing to go by...”
“Well… Rainbow Dash just told us that she crashed into you, and that Luna locked herself away in a motel room for the remainder of Nightmare Night,” Twilight said. So I guess she’s just being the mediator, because my previous captor is the perfect person to mediate with given she’s also mediating for the other three Princesses by being here. I already barely remember Cadance, but that was probably the only Princess I’ve got good memories of.
I hate the other three.
“Nogla, the Princesses miss you. Once they found out that you were innocent, they tried to look for you, only to find nothing. Not a body, not an alive changeling. Nothing at all; you were simply gone. Then they held a funeral for you-”
“After driving me to the point of basically suicide. I only knew them for about a week or two, Twilight. I opened up to them, way too quickly I might add, and then when I might, not definitely, might’ve committed a crime, Luna thinks I lied to her about not being from another dimension, and Celestia can’t decide if I’m innocent or not. I gave them my full trust, I wanted to love them and probably started loving them before I got chased out of Canterlot for a crime I didn’t commit. I didn’t just hop out of a chariot because it was a last ditch effort to get away, oh wondrous Princess, I was hoping I woulda died from the fall, or something ate me or whatever. Good thing there is no god, for I’m still alive!”
I walked over back to Sapling, who was sitting on his rump and cocking his head to the side, probably due to the whole conversation I had just had.
“Nogla, just come back, Luna-”
“Yeah, she cares. It’s why y’all are out here and not her. Fuck off will ya? I’ve got a dog and a small potato farm to take care of.”
“Okay, that’s it!” Rainbow Dash stepped up.
“Lemme recall correctly… Element of Loyalty?” Rainbow raised an eyebrow. “Well? Am I right?” Rainbow nodded. “Cool. Remember how I pretty much gave my loyalty to Princess Celestia? I’m assuming that whole thing with me being loyal to Celestia did, in fact, work out super well. Because get this, I got charged with murder, and I’m sitting here, talking to you instead of-”
“Listen,” Rainbow had tackled me. “You’re coming back with us.”
“Ah, threats. My favorite. How about this? You drag me back to the Princesses, and I will kill myself. I doubt that matters to any of you, but I will kill myself if you take me back to those sacks of shit-”
“Okay… I see we aren’t getting anywhere. C’mon girls, let’s go,” the new unicorn said, dragging Rainbow off of me, and trying to beckon the Elements out. Surprisingly, they obliged and left my cave.
Author's Note
nogla’s a wee it spiteful, eh?
That Didn’t go as Planned
Dear,
Princess Celestia
I have some excellent news, and some bad news. As you have probably heard from Princess Luna, Prince Nogla is still alive, and seems to be doing reasonably well given his living conditions. It also seems as though Nogla is… happy for the most part with his living conditions for reasons that are not the most pleasant. Nogla has, for the last three years, grown to hate pony society as a whole, and seems to want nothing to do with myself or my friends.
Or anypony for that matter.
On that topic, Nogla seems adamant about not returning to Canterlot, or seeing you or Princess Luna again for that matter. It probably wouldn’t help if we told Nogla of how long it’s been since he has gone missing, as he’ll probably remember the deadline he had to go back to Earth, and hate everypony involved with his… prosecution. Well, Nogla will hate everypony even more as it turns out.
As somepony who has seen how spiteful your adoptive son has grown in his self-imposed banishment, I would not recommend visiting him, but as Princess Luna Requested, attached to this letter or the exact coordinates of where Nogla is currently living.
Your former student and friend,
Princess Twilight Sparkle.
Dear,
Twilight Sparkle.
First and foremost, I would like to thank you for the news, and I will be coming down to Ponyville today, along with Luna, so that we can speak with Nogla. As… I believe you and your friends going out to find the ‘mysterious changeling that made Princess Luna cry’ on your own accord, may, or may not have sent the wrong message to Prince Nogla.
And yes, I know how Nogla may react to seeing me, but I just want to apologize to Nogla myself, for all the pain he has had to endure for the last three years, and perhaps see if we can start something new.
Your former mentor and friend,
Princess Celestia.
Nogla
I trotted back into Ponyville, now under a brand new disguise. As much as I don’t want to be in town, I need to find a book on timberwolves, so that I can care for my new pet properly. Because just winging it with an animal that has no Earth equivalent is a pretty solid way of killing said animal. As far as I knew, Sapling didn’t need food, but probably needed water since he was still a plant. Other than that, I have no clue as to how I’m gonna take care of that thing, but I want to. Sapling was still fast asleep when I left him, so I hope he’s still in the cave when I get back home.
Maybe I can work an odd job and buy a few toys for Sapling as well. I want to play fetch with my little pony eater.
Jesus, where the heck is the library? Like Twilight lives in a big, fancy castle now, so what the fuck happened to the library? The castle that Twilight now just has, was on the edge of town, looking over all of Ponyville. Meanwhile, the library was pretty much in the center of town, not being too far away from the Town Hall. You know, there are bulletin boards at the Town Hall, if my possibly two year or longer visit is still accurate. So I started trotting off in that direction, and made sure to hide whenever I saw one of the Elements, especially Pinkie Pie.
Something about that pony just seemed off.
I kept my pace kinda slow, trotting wasn’t too eye-catching, but somebody will look at me passing by, but not because I’m running. If I’m running, somebody will try to catch me and ask why I was running. Given how distinctive my accent is, I couldn’t, for the life of me, risk speaking. If somebody has spoken to me in recent history, they’ll know who I am just based on the accent alone, and my cover will be blown.
I don’t want to risk Rainbow Dash tackling me and dragging me directly to Celestia. I wasn’t joking when I said I would kill myself in front of that old hag the moment I am in her throne room.
I would sooner die than live in that palace with that sack of shit ever again.
“Behold, the Great and Powerful Trixie!”
What? At the town hall, most of the Elements, and a sizable chunk of ponies for that matter, all at town hall watching a familiar mare in a familiar stage wagon. I really want to go sit and watch the show because I’m pretty sure if the pony who says that they’re great and powerful is who I think they are, then that’s the only pony in existence I would like to talk to again. A small little smile etched at the edge of my lips; Trixie had found success and happiness while I couldn’t. That’s good, I at least made a difference in somebody’s life.
For now though, I need a map for the rest of Ponyville, and this bulletin board in front of me had that map…
Okay cool, Golden Oaks Library just got wiped off the face of the earth. What happened to it? Did some guy get tired of ponies and blow the fucker up in order to try and kill a princess? Probably, ponies suck. Now that I think about it, I think a year into my self banishment, there was some massive fight going on with a giant, centaur, looking thing. Maybe it tried to burn Ponyville down, that would be pretty funny.
And… no other libraries in Ponyville. In fact, there’s a little ‘fun fact’ that says Twilight’s new castle had several libraries, one of which was open to the public. So pretty much, I go sneak in, and steal a book for a few hours and risk talking to somebody that’ll recognize me, or I inadvertently kill my dog by not being able to care for him properly. I tapped on my chin, and sighed.
The things I will be doing for Sapling, damn you, mutt, for being so cute and affectionate.
Well, it looks like Trixie’s show just concluded, so maybe I’ll get a chance to talk to her.
I snuck around to the back of Trixie’s wagon, and the mare in question was wiping her brow while smiling from ear to ear. I took another step and made a rock skid slightly, which was enough to get the showmare’s attention.
“Who goes there? The Great and Powerful Trixie does not take kindly to ponies trying to assault her!” Trixie’s horn lit up, and I quickly hopped out into full view of her. “A stallion looking to win Trixie’s heart? She would like to let you know that Trixie is not willing to partake in a relationship with a stallion any time soon.”
“Trixie, it’s just me,” I raised my hooves defensively. Trixie raised an eyebrow and I sighed. I was engulfed in green fire, fully revealing what I was. “It’s me, Nogla… If you remember me at all.” Trixie’s horn unignited.
“Nogla, is that really you?” The mare ran up to me and swallowed me up in a hug. “Trixie tried to stop at Canterlot a year ago to visit you! Then Trixie was told that you had… passed away. Where have you been all this time? And why didn’t you tell Trixie you were alive the whole time?” Trixie asked all while nuzzling her cheek into mine, in a cheerful mood that I couldn’t hope to match.
God I missed this mare. The one pony who has treated me well, and hasn’t done me wrong.
“Oh y’know, just living out on the road. Being a Prince fucking sucks. Sure, I get everything I want, but it’s not what I… want. Plus I had a bit of a falling out with the Princesses. One that we won’t speak of because… it’s a touchy subject for me. On the bright side, the quiet life seems to suit me, I just farm potatoes, live happily, and got a pet!”
“Trixie sees… If you are willing to tell her, you have Trixie’s full attention.” Trixie wrapped an arm around my neck. “Come! Let Trixie introduce you to her new friends, and maybe you can find a new place here in Ponyville! Trixie has been fortunate enough to be given a second chance, and has found her place in Ponyville as well!”
Well… making friends does sound scary, but Trixie says they’re her friends. Nobody that’s friends with my friend can be that bad, right?
Nevermind. This is worse, far, far worse than I could’ve imagined. Staring directly at me, was none other than the Elements of Harmony plus that extra unicorn from yesterday. Trixie was standing next to me with a big, goofy smile that was honestly really cute, with a foreleg around my neck, having just proudly introduced me to the Elements again.
“Hey… Trixie,” I whispered to the showmare.
“Yes, Nogla?”
“Why did I agree to this?”
“Well, Trixie believes you would fit in with the rest of her friends!”
I gulped, and my head was engulfed in green fire. The inside of a paper bag now blocked my view from the Elements.
Narrator.
A little while ago…
The Elements of Harmony and Starlight Glimmer were all chatting with each other, having just watched one of Trixie's shows, with Starlight Glimmer herself having played a role in the show, as the ‘Great and Powerful assistant of Trixie’.
“Say… it’s taking a while for Trixie to meet up with us. You think something happened?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“Perhaps she had stage fright. I know I would,” Fluttershy said quietly.
Starlight Glimmer chuckled. “This is Trixie we’re talking about, Fluttershy. If nothing else, Trixie might just be basking in another show going well, with a nice, large audience to boot!” The door to Trixie’s wagon had opened up again to reveal the showmare herself, along with a changeling drone, who had only poked its head out at first, before its eyes widened in shock and tried to retreat back into the wagon…
Only for Trixie to pick up the changeling and drag it out with her. The drone looked exactly like the one from yesterday, in fact, Rarity had pointed out the cracks in the chestplate and faceplate of the carapace, along with the golden watch hanging from a chain on the drone’s neck. The main difference now was that Nogla looked shy and timid rather than hateful and spiteful to see the mares again.
Trixie came to a stop, having discarded her cape and wizard’s hat, and wrapped a foreleg around the drone, who was now shivering.
“Greetings friends! Trixie has recently made contact with an old friend, Nogla! Please welcome him with open arms, as Prince-“
“I’m not a Prince anymore,” Nogla whispered.
“Has helped Trixie greatly a few years back!”
Everypony who had spoken with Nogla the day before were shocked at his sudden change in disposition. Nogla has made it quite clear that he hates ponies, and is letting Trixie, Trixie of all ponies, hug and hold him like an old friend… Because they were. And now Nogla was trying to squirm out of the mare’s grasp either to hide behind Trixie, or simply to get away from the Elements.
Trixie yelped when her friend’s head was enveloped in flames, only for the drone’s head to be covered with a paper bag.
“Lemme know when I’m allowed to leave, Trixie. I’m shutting my brain off until I am permitted to leave.”
Nogla.
I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. I want to disappear. I hate being in crowded areas full of ponies who can hurt me. I hate standing in front of six mares I had spent swearing and yelling at them the day before, and I hate this town. I just wanted to come, get a book on timber wolves, and go home. Why must I be here?
“So does that mean we get to throw a party?” I heard Pinkie almost squeak out.
“Why… a party?” I asked
“To celebrate ‘Prince Nogla Has Returned, Reunited With Trixie, and is Moving to Ponyville Party, duh!” Pinkie said happily.
“I am not moving to Ponyville, as soon as I get what I came here for, I’m going back to my cave.”
“But why wouldn’t you want to move here? Trixie lives in Ponyville and she’s your friend, and Trixie is my friend, so that means we’re all your friends, and that would mean all your friends would be living in Ponyville, so wouldn’t it be easier to live in Ponyville just so you can be closer to your friends? Because I would like to-“
“Oh yeah… I wanna be friends with the same ponies that tied me up three years ago,” I said quietly, before allowing a green fire to engulf my head again, and the paper bag was gone. “Look… I just came here to find a library so I can read up on timberwolves, and happened to see Trixie performing. Can I please just get the book I’m looking for, because I’ll go home, and you can forget about throwing me that party.”
“But-“
“I don’t want to be in a room full of ponies, Pinkie Pie.”
Pinkie stopped, rubbed her chin for a moment while very clearly thinking about something, before dropping the offer to throw me a party.
Like a party will solve my problems.
“I… believe one of the libraries in my castle has a book about timberwolves,” Twilight Sparkle offered.
I sighed in defeat and followed the group from a safe distance to the crystal tree looking fort.
“Alright bud,” Rainbow Dash shouldered me. “Quit the ‘I’m quiet and scared’ act. Yesterday you were using far worse language and much more aggressive than today. I won't buy it for a moment.”
“Rainbow Dash, forgive me for being a disappointment today. I’m only in a town full of ponies, a race that definitely hates changelings, while undisguised. On top of that, I get to see my favorite ponies in the world, in a town I’m unfamiliar with, where I can’t easily get away. I’m like a wolf in a town full of people.”
“Aren’t wolves supposed to be awesome, strong, and dangerous? Why would they be scared of anything?”
I sighed, not wanting to continue the conversation. So instead I looked in the stores as we walked by, knowing I would never, ever walk into one of these stores for the foreseeable future and stopped dead in my tracks while Rainbow Dash was still trying to talk to me. The exact words being said were tuned out of my head as I stared into a candy store.
Man, it’s been a proper, long time since I’ve had chocolate. It’s been even longer since I’ve had any gummies. Oh… I so badly want some candy.
“Hey!” Rainbow gave me a shove while I was entranced by the sweets inside. “I’m talking to you, ya know?” I fell on my side and hissed as my shoulder came crashing down into the rocky road below. God that smarts! I quickly sat up and glared at Rainbow Dash for a moment, before sighing. There really wasn’t a whole lot I could do about this, as I certainly wasn’t going to be able to out muscle this pegasus.
Remember Nogla, you really need that book.
“What were you saying, Rainbow Dash?” I asked while rubbing my shoulder.
“I was asking why the heck you were staring into this store for so long!”
I shook my head and sighed. “Can you fuck off, Rainbow? I don’t want to speak with you, I don’t want to fucking listen to you speak. Please, just shut the hell up and go talk to your friends; people that are more valuable than I am.”
Rainbow Dash glared at me, snorted, and trotted ahead to go chat with Apple Jack or whatever. I took one last glance in the candy store and chuckled. Man, the child that I once was just wouldn’t stay dead would he? Even now I’m excited to see a candy store… that chocolate looked good.
Great. Today gets even better now that Twilight’s castle is in view. It’s really lovely because Princess fucking Celestia and her equally Princess-y sister were just getting out of their chariot… I was set up. I think these asshats had just set me up into speaking with two ponies I wished to never see again. Well, magic, despite being real, I seem to have some nice luck in getting it to work.
I couldn’t use magic thanks to the ring, and wishing stars just liked to tell me to go fuck myself.
Everybody in the little group we were in bowed, well, I would’ve, but now I’m just planning my escape plan. Of course, after Princess Celestia greets everyone, her eyes fall on me, and it looks like she’s overjoyed and sad at the same time. Cool, now you feel bad about me, two years too late, but you managed to feel bad. Luna remained silent the whole time, probably remembering how our one sided conversation went.
“Greetings, my little ponies, and Princess Twilight,” Twilight Sparkle looked up to her peer. “Thank you for allowing myself and Princess Luna to stay in Ponyville on such short notice.” Twilight nodded almost immediately.
“Of course, Princess Celestia, anything for a friend!” Twilight said cheerfully. Celestia then walked up to me and tried to put her hoof on my shoulder. I backed out at the last moment, and said nothing. It was best that I just didn’t speak, because if I do, then we’d be here for hours, and I would be yelling my head off at this pony for even considering touching me.
Celestia cleared her throat. “Prince Nogla, it is good to meet you once again.”
So much for keeping my mouth shut.
“I was never a Prince. This country wouldn't have accepted it, I was never your child, and I refuse the title. In fact,” I took my pocket watch off and stared at it for a few moments. On one hand, this was bought with the Crown’s money, but on the other, Sharpened Dagger was the one who bought it for me and I cherished it. On the other hand…
“This was bought using the Crown’s money, and as such, belongs to the Crown. Seeing as I was never a part of any royal family.” I held the watch out to Celestia, who was now staring at the watch as well. It was then lifted up in a yellow, almost golden glow as Celestia took the pocket watch and had handed it to one of the guards who had pulled the chariot.
I turned to Twilight. “May I get that book already? If not, then I’ll simply leave. I will leave and I will not return; there’s too many ponies on this side of the woods.”
“But wouldn’t you like to talk with Princess Celestia? I certainly know that she’d love to chat with you.”
“I…” I looked at Celestia and sighed. “I’ll humor the thought. But if the conversation leads into ‘my return’ or whatever, I am leaving.”
The eleven of us were sitting at a weird, round little table. The Elements got thrones of their own, a tea set was out, and I want to jump out the window. It was completely silent, where it wasn’t a pleasant silence you might share when you’re just spending time with somebody you love, no. Instead it’s the type of silence that makes you want to die.
The type of silence where nobody knows what to talk about.
“Hey Trixie,” I was the first to break the silence. The showmare looked up from her tea to look at me. “Wanna grab Starlight and go hangout somewhere?” Trixie quickly nodded with a small little smile on her face.
“You want me to come with you?” Starlight Glimmer asked.
“Oh yeah. It’s a good opportunity for the three of us. I can get out of this room filled with my favorite alicorns, and you get to keep watching Trixie’s flanks and hips as she walks,” both mares started blushing, ears perked up and everything and that got a good laugh out of me. The first laugh I’ve had in years. “Well… c’mon, let’s get going before my mood gets soured by whatever Mother Dearest, the Sun wants to talk to me about.”
Both mares hopped out of their seats and started trotting off after me.
“Nogla?” Princess Celestia spoke up. I turned for a moment. “It’s… good to see you again, even if I know you don’t wish to see me ever again.”
I smirked. “Good thing you don’t respect my wishes then, huh Princess?” I spun on my heels and let Starlight Glimmer lead the way. Because Starlight seems like the type to know where the three of us can hangout and catch up.
Author's Note
well, Nogla can’t seem to get that book he needs. that’s a shame.
