Laugh Riot

Now I was glad to feel the snow in my hooves. I was really starting to work up a sweat pulling this sleigh through the arctic. It felt embarrassing to have a harness strapped to me, but we needed to haul these supplies with us. I looked up at Bou, the dimunitive goth reindeer who was floating in front of me. Her antlers glowed with a black light that made the snow around us as bright as the day. Her expression was unreadable though. Her usual enthusiasm had been absent since we left Ho-ho-honnesberg. Correction: Since Alice kicked us out of Ho-ho-honnesberg. "Errmrfermerf?"

She looked back at me, and her melancholy brightened a bit. "What?" She said with a hint of mirth.

I slowed to pull my scarf down. "I said are you doing okay?"

She sighed, her breath was visible on the frozen air. "I... I still have faith in the Gift Giver..." She trailed off, not exactly answering the question. Her eyes moved to meet mine, "But at least we got to my house so I could show you my large chest."

"Yes, Bou. Your chest is indeed very nice and quite large for a girl so petite," I nodded in agreement and she gave a grin.

"Heehee! Thank you!" Bou did a little spin in midair.

I glanced back at the sleigh. The storage container was big enough for Bou to fit inside it, and big enough to hold the supplies for our journey. Including the scarf, coat, and earmuffs that she so kindly lent me. She could carry the large chest with her telekinesis, but she couldn't carry it too far. Thus, the sleigh was needed. It was the least I could do.

"Okay, so..." Bou started as she scanned the horizon for landmarks, "We need to head Southeast to get to Yakyakistan. Oh! We can visit Donner Stag! He's a reindeer, too. He works weekends so he should be organizing a party for Snilldar Fest right now! I know we should be catching the train to the Crystal Empire. Oh, but we can just catch the next one! Trust me, you don't want to miss a Donner party!"

I groaned, only really tuning in for parts of Bou's rambling. "And how much further is Yakyakistan?"

"It's, um... Hmm, how are you holding up?" I turned my neck up, meeting Bou's orange eyes. Some day I might get used to the way her antlers make them glow. But today is not that day.

I took a moment to respond to her question, "Well, I am pretty hungry actually." It occurred to me in that moment that I hadn't eaten anything since I woke up here.

"That makes sense," Bou giggled, "It's just about time for breakfast after all!"

As I followed along with her, my gaze turned to the sky. "Oh, so the sun's going to rise pretty soon huh?" I watched my own breath rise as my words came out.

"Princess Twilight is already raising the sun! Look!" She pointed out at the horizon.

My eyes darted across the sky with curiosity and excitement. I didn't realize that I was going to get to see such a feat of magic. The slightest hint of a golden glow hung just below the horizon, and my lips curled in anticipation to see it rise. Except that telltale glow of the sun didn't rise exactly. It just sort of... moved laterally. My jaw hung open and my eyes followed as the barest dribble of sunlight that we had skittered to the opposite end of the sky, just next to the silhouette of a large mountain in the distance. I was extremely confused for a moment, until I remembered where we were. "Great. I'm on top of the world and I couldn't feel lower," I groaned and collapsed into the snow.

"Aww, well come on!" Bou touched down onto the snow. Her skinny legs barely made an impact. "The weather is calm right now, we might as well have a bite." I gave an emphatic sound of agreement and we came to a stop just outside of a small patch of trees. Douglas fir, the scent told me. It was relaxing and familiar.

The slightest sensation of a warm buzz tickled my sides as Bou's magic helped to unstrap me from the sleigh. "Thanks," I muttered as we both climbed up onto the polished wood. Bou wasted no time unlatching her large chest in order to retrieve the supplies. "So you're not mad at Alice for banishing us?" I decided to push on what she had said earlier.

The large chest's lid flipped open, and the little reindeer got on her hind legs to look inside. "When it's not Hearth's Warming season, the Gift Givers of the Grove come into town every now and then. Alice was always the distant one," Bou had her forelegs hanging over the opening of the large chest, "I guess it was because of her unique sort of magic. She was different from every reindeer, even her kin. No matter what pranks I would try and pull on her, no matter what spooky stories I told, she never had a hint of fear in her."

"So?" I asked cluelessly while Bou hopped into the large chest. I felt like I should have a clue though. I remembered the Gift Givers from the show, sure. But I could hardly remember the details of their dialogue. "I guess she doesn't frighten easily?"

Bou was out of sight, but her voice came from the opening of the large chest. "That's just it," she talked over the clinking of tableware she had packed, "She doesn't frighten at all!" I had been staring at the wood grain of the sleigh as she spoke, and in the corner of my eye her head poked up from inside the large chest as her words registered with me. I looked up, and it wasn't Bou's head and forelegs coming out of the large chest. No, there was a pony staring me in the face now. Princess Luna to be exact.

"Bwuh-Gah!" Startled, I nearly fell over backwards. A burst of high-pitched cackling came from Luna's mouth. It was definitely Bou's voice.

"Ehehehehe! Pretty good, huh?" A black aura pulled at something on the pony's face. My mind reeled until I realized it was a small zipper. Luna's face split open and fell back like a hood to reveal Bou's joy at my expense. "I keep all my costumes in here too!"

How did she even fit her antlers in there? I had a hoof up to my chest, pouting at my traveling companion as I regulated my breathing. I growled in response and returned to my seated position. She was back inside the large chest now. "All of your costumes?" I repeated in a skeptic tone.

"It's a chest of holding," she said so casually, "But yeah. When she came down to see us before, I could smell fear on Alice for the first time since I've known her." Bou popped back up from the large chest, no costume, and levitating a couple of trays, "Not quite as much as you though. You reek!"

She put an emphasis on that last part. I frowned and brought a foreleg up to sniff it. Smelled fine to me. Bou laid the tray out before me. I was looking forward to digging in, "Oh, thank you, Bou. I..." I trailed off when I saw that my tray was full of candy canes, caramel bonbons, and chocolate peanut butter cups. Getting my hopes up, and then having them trashed. It made the pangs in my stomach all the worse. "Bou!" Her smile fell, clearly picking up on my tone, "Where's the food?"

Bou's eyes darted between my own and the tray she just put before me. Slowly her foreleg raised and her hoof pointed at the tray, "Right... There?"

"Please tell me you packed real food."

Her brow started a frown to match mine, "This... is real food."

"Oh my God, Bou!"

"What? What did I do?"

"We can't survive on candy!"

"What's your problem?"

"We need nutrients!"

"After all the effort I put into packing!"

"I can't believe I'm stuck out here with this crazy child of a reindeer!"

"I'm a grown doe!"

"Yeah, real grown-up! Look at this!"

"There's nothing wrong with it! I prepared it for you!"

"Is this normal? You need to take care of yourself, Bou!"

"I do!"

As we barked back and forth at each other, the 'thwumps' and 'thwamps' of our hooves hitting the wooden sleigh echoed across the tundra.

"Oh, just bang already!" Startled, we both fell silent when a new voice shouted from nearby. I wasn't ready for what happened next. Large figures burst from the snow around us. My head whipped around to try and figure out what was going on. I was able to process that there were two kinds of creatures that made up the ambush party. The ears and whiskers made it obvious that some of them were... cat people? The rest of them were much more imposing. Like a Saint Bernard dog crossed with a goblin. Each of the dog monsters held some kind of tool in their hands. A pickaxe, a shovel, and when I spun to see the one looming just behind me, he held a sledgehammer. One of the cat people spoke up, his eyes a vibrant green in the darkness, "Remus. I said bang." The tabby cat man made a fist and brought it down into his palm. What, did they rehearse this?

The dog monster closest to me, the one with the sledgehammer, looked at his colleague and took a second to respond, "...Oh, right! Bang!" He swung the hammer down at my face.

"Yah!" I flinched harder than I've ever flinched before. Because that's something people keep track of. But after a moment, no impact came. I opened one eye and saw the head of the hammer held mid-swing by a black magical aura. The dog monster was struggling to push the hammer against the force that was resisting in order to complete his swing. I could see the glow of Bou's antlers before I turned my head to see her straining with her telekinesis.

"Nnngh! Riot, move..." Bou managed to say while the blacklights flickered a bit. All of her concentration was on stopping that hammer.

"We got a caster! Hold her still!" A calico called out as she reached into her vest. One of the other dog monsters dropped his tool so he could reach out and grab Bou with both hands. I moved before thinking, ignoring the squeaky toy sound that Bou made as those fingers gripped her. She cried out in distress and her concentration was instantly broken. The hammer came down with all the power the dog monster was putting behind it and the front of the wooden sled shattered beneath me. I had barely avoided it but the impact still launched me into the air. Our candy breakfast went flying in all directions.

I tumbled into the snow, my flank stinging from the splinters. I was already scrambling back to my hooves and saw the calico approaching the captive Bou with a tattered pair of black metal shackles. "Bou!" I called out to her. She struggled in the canine's grip as a bright glow built up in her antlers. The same glow overcame her eyes and she held still. Her gaze locked onto her assailant's, and a flash of the same blacklight glow shone from his own eyes. With a shriek he dropped Bou onto the wreckage. He turned tail and ran off into the wilderness, shrill yelps of terror echoing into the morning dark.

I began a full trot to get to Bou, to see if she was hurt. But the dogs and cats got in my way. Claws, pickaxes, and hammers were drawn. "Be a good little pony. Come on." With a snort I reared up on my hind legs. This wasn't comfortable, more nostalgic. Closer to my human sensibilities. My body didn't necessarily agree though. I was trying to throw a punch, but all I accomplished was kicking my front hooves out desperately as I lost my balance and fell face first into the snow.

Bou was pulling herself up by her reindeer flight, but the calico from before caught one of her antlers in a shackle and it closed tight. Bou cried out in agony when the black light of her magic drained through glowing purple lines etched into the metal. She reflexively stopped trying to use magic and the cat swung the second shackle around the other antler. "Riot..." My companion groaned as she weakly brought her forelegs up to her head. More shackles were produced to bind her hooves.

The cat who shackled her picked Bou up by her purple neck floof. One of the dogs was ready with a bag to tie around her head. "We got one!" She called out to her allies, "Nab the pony and let's get back!" I struggled to get up and stop them from taking Bou. I saw the sharp end of a pickaxe swinging at the feet of one of my attackers. "Alive, you mutts!" The pickaxe lifted to be turned around, and the butt end of the handle was punched right into the side of my head. I fell back onto my belly as they surrounded me. One of the dogs had the other bag ready, but I wasn't going to just let it happen. I braced my front hooves on the frozen ground and bucked in their direction. I made contact, but it sounded like a tennis ball bouncing off a wall.

"Ha ha, Earth Pony is not so tough!" The dog chuckled mockingly. I bucked again in response, but my hooves were caught this time. The cold metal of their shackles pinched around my hind legs.

"No!" I was pulled into the darkness of a burlap sack over my head. The last thing I saw was Bou being swung over a dog's shoulder.

"Grab their stuff! And somebody go and retrieve Patches!" One pair of feet scurried off in the direction that the one dog had run off in when Bou... did something to him with her magic. I kicked my front hooves in vain, trying to punch anything that might have been in front of me. I did end up hitting myself in the face. Again. One of them took that opportunity to shackle my front hooves too. Was that the sound of scraping metal? Wait, were they linking me to a goddamn metal pole? They strung me upside down to be carried! We started moving. I heard the wood and metal wreckage of the sleigh shift as the large chest was lifted up to be brought along.

I heard Bou's groans as she recovered from having her magic screwed with. "Unnh... Riot!?" I heard some grunting from her and then an impact. She cried out in shock. They did not just slap her!

"Hey!" I barked through the bag on my head. I strained, but the metal bars holding the shackles together weren't budging.

"Quit wiggling around, reindeer!" The calico's voice, "What did you do to Patches? What kind of magic was that?"

"It'll wear off, it'll wear off!" Bou whimpered, making my heart break a little, "I showed him a vision of his worst fear." There was an odd silence that fell between our captors. Bou eventually spoke again, "You all have the same fear..." I knew she could smell it, if not now with her magic shackled, she definitely could before when they appeared. "What are you all so scared of?"

I heard another slap and Bou squeaked. "Quiet, you little witch! You'll find out soon enough."

"I'm gonna- Oof!" My threat was quickly cut off when the dogs carrying me purposefully jostled me on the metal rod.

"That's enough out of either of you. Let's hurry up and get back," the calico meant business in her voice. "Paul, what is that in your mouth?"

"Mm. What? I found a candy cane. Finders keepers."

My empty stomach was my only companion in the quiet trek to who-knows-where. Eventually, we ended up inside somewhere. I could tell from the sounds of their footsteps.

We stopped. When the calico spoke again, I could tell that we were probably in a cave. "Bring the haul to the Treasure chamber. I'll talk to the boss." There was a high-pitched whimpering from the dogs carrying us, but they continued moving on whatever path had been ordered. I didn't need Bou's magic to know that these guys did not want to go wherever they were taking me. If there was a bright side, at least it wasn't cold anymore.

In fact, it was rapidly getting hotter. The dog monsters were whimpering quietly again, their feet were shuffling faster. There was a sharp, sudden sound of a scraping metal gate. One of them undid my shackles and the other pulled the bag off of my head before they dropped me to the ground. They wasted no time in making their exit after that though, leaving me behind and locking me up. Yep, it was some kind of cell.

I rolled over back onto my belly and glanced around. Immediately I saw a red glow just beyond my prison. So that's why it was so unbearably hot, this was a volcanic cavern. How deep underground did they take us? I licked my lips and thought of the last time I had anything to drink. In the dim light provided by the magma pool, I could see Bou's large chest sitting just off to the right of my cell. Further off to the right, out of sight, came a quiet sobbing. I immediately stood up on my aching hooves and trotted to the bars. "Bou?" I called out, trying to get a view of where the sound was coming from.

I heard her gasp, "Riot!? Riot! Are you here?"

"I'm locked up over here," I called out to her, sticking a hoof out to wave. I didn't know if she could see it. "Bou, are you okay?"

She sniffled, but her voice had hope now, "This thing stuck to my antlers kinda hurts. It won't let me use my magic. But I'm in one piece. Oh, thank the stars you're alright, Riot."

"Getting out of here is what will be alright," I affirmed while wiggling out of my winter clothes so I could bear the heat, "I don't know where they took us or why."

"We're under Mount Wishimay," Bou explained, "It was visible from where we watched the sunrise, remember?"

"How do you know that?" I had seen them pull that bag over her head just like they did to me.

"Reindeer have a perfect sense of direction," she explained offhandedly, "Those Diamond Dogs must have taken us into its abandoned mines." After a pause, she chimed in with a brighter tone, "Hey! That's my large chest!" She had finally spotted it too, "Oh, if I just had my magic..." A new melancholy came with her next words, "I'm really sorry, Riot. This is all my fault." She sounded like she was about to cry again.

"The dogs took us here. How is this your fault?"

"Because," she sniffled, "I wished on that lucky star. I wanted the chance to make someone's holiday season meaningful. Just so everyone else in Ho-ho-honnesberg would like me better." Small changes in the sound of her talking told me that she was pacing back and forth now, "You're here because of my selfish wish."

"Bou, come on. That's silly," I assured her, "My Christmas season was going pretty terrible before this happened anyway."

"What's Christmas?" Bou sounded more excited than sad now. That was good.

"It's... Well, it's basically Hearth's Warming Eve. Except it's what we celebrate where I come from." Pretty oversimplified, but I gave her the gist of it.

"That's it!" Bou was in higher spirits now, "That was Alice's gift! I can get you home for Christmas!"

"Oh, Bou..." I didn't want her to get her hopes up. Come to think of it... I didn't even know if I could ever see home again. My voice cracked a bit with the sorrow that was coming on with that thought, "It's not exactly over the river and through the woods."

"Riot, I swear I will do everything in my power to make your Christmas everything it should be and more." There was a new resolve in her voice. I didn't have the heart to bring her down from that. "How, I don't know. I don't even have my magic... But somehow!"

She made it easier for me to swallow my homesickness for now. "There's gotta be a way out of here," I offered, "I'm an Earth Pony now. I bet these bars won't stand a good bucking!" I got into position and tried kicking out with my hind legs again. There was a loud clang with the impact. It was harder than last time, but it still felt like I hurt myself more than the metal bars. But I didn't give up. I gave it another go. Another loud bang, and no give to the structure. The reverberation rattled across the cell, over the cavern walls, and up my hind legs. Boy, it really made me want to scream.

And then Bou started screaming.

I stopped what I was doing and looked over my shoulder in the direction of Bou's cell, even though I couldn't see it. "Bou, what's the matter!?" That's when I saw enormous sharp fangs closing around the large chest outside the cell. Of course, I joined in with the screaming.

The large chest was in the jaws of a beast, being lifted into the air! A lime-green eye looked back at me, bigger than I've ever imagined an eye could be. The ridges of white stone on the opposite side of the magma pool wasn't a wall. It wasn't even stone. It was the body of a full-sized dragon! This thing had been in the room with us the whole time, just sitting in a pool of magma! It gave a low growl that echoed across the cavern walls. As I watched its head rise, I saw just how high the ceiling was. A chimney-like structure of smooth crystal spiraled up further than I could see.

"Bou! It's got your large chest!" I screamed.

"It has my large chest! Stop it! Give me back my large chest!" Bou protested through her terror. I had my hooves around the bars to try and rattle them, and it sounded like Bou had done the same.

The dragon began to move. The disturbed magma glowed more intensely, causing the shiny white scales across its body to sparkle as it shifted position. Behind where the dragon had been sitting, now coming into view, was a pile of gold, jewels, and random objects of high value. Bou's large chest was placed carefully on top of the treasure hoard. The dragon turned back to us and spoke. I could feel the metal bars vibrate slightly when it did. The voice was deep, rumbling, but feminine. "It is my king's treasure now, and I will protect it." Oh boy, I was really hoping Bou would just consider it gone.

Hang on, what was that phrasing? "Your king, huh? You work for the boss, too?" I couldn't believe I was striking up a conversation with a creature like this.

"Indeed. I am his Treasure, just as everything in this hoard is."

Bou chimed in, "Does that mean we are part of his treasure hoard too? Or are we just here as a snack?"

The dragon leaned in much closer, way too close for comfort to peer into my cell. "The pony does smell delicious, I'll admit. But I have no orders for either of you yet." My eyes were locked to her sharp fangs as she said that, and I was glad to have empty bowels in that moment.

I heard a door swing open. The dragon's gaze moved off to the right, which was met with a startled yowl and hiss from that direction. The dragon moved away from my cage, unbothered. She settled back in the magma pool while watching one of the cat henchmen move to my holdings with a key. "The boss wants to see this one," the tabby's hairs were on end. He didn't take his eyes off of the beast for more than a few seconds. "Come on, pony." His voice was insistent, and I had no reason to do anything but oblige. We passed Bou's cell on the way out. She was in the back corner, her eyes pleading. Before going back down the way we were first taken, I looked over my shoulder to see the dragon. She was watching me the way a cat watches a house fly.

"Well, I guess we know what all of these guys are so afraid of."

I began to feel colder as we got further from the treasure room. But where ever we were going, it wasn't far. I was led through the cave system to a new room. "The boss will be here in a moment," the cat man muttered before taking his leave. He was just leaving me here? I could just escape? No way, something was up. I turned and looked around the room. My eyes widened to see what looked like an office fitted out with a dining table. The quality of the table setting was quite uncharacteristic for an old abandoned mine. But the fresh, ripe fruits and vegetables were what drew my immediate attention. My stomach was growling so loud I almost thought the dragon had followed.

But this was clearly some kind of manipulation. A bribe, a handout... hoofout? This was a tactic that I recognized from many a family dinner, retail manager, and cartoon villain in my time. I decided that I would take a seat, but I would not indulge. I don't care how hungry I am. I need to figure out how to get Bou and myself back to safety. Ah crap, the chair was meant for the cats and dogs running this place. My pony ass did not sit very comfortably in it.

A large figure stepped into the room, though his feet didn't make a sound. There was no better way to describe this guy other than as a humanoid snow leopard. "Ha ha! My little pony, my little pony..." His voice was low with a rasp to it, which was fitting for his jazzy affectation. "Isn't the world a lovely place?" He grinned at me with the second most terrifying set of teeth I had seen today. The sunglasses on his face hid what his eyes could tell. He extended his large hand to me, offering a shake. "The name is Cool Cat Freckles, and I look forward to doing business with ya!"

From my seat in the chair, I simply looked at the hand and then back up to his face. I didn't say anything.

"Ah ha, not quite as friendly as I heard," he took his seat at the opposite end of the table. "Go ahead, little pony," he gestured to the food in front of us. "Apples, carrots, potatoes, cucumbers. All the things you herbivores like."

"I'm not hungry," I finally said. That was a stone-faced lie, of course. Walnuts, peanuts, pineapple smells, grapes, melons, oranges, and coconut shells with little umbrellas in them. This guy really wanted me on his good side and it was torture.

"Alright, alright..." Cool Cat Freckles raised his hands, "But don't you worry. You got this stuff to go, too." He lifted up a saddle bag he had prepared, its pouches filled with a bit of everything from the table. Clearly he had plans for me.

"Where did you get all this stuff, anyway?" I asked him. I was genuinely curious.

"We here have a paw in a number of businesses in Abyssinia and going all the way down the coast. You're about to be a part of my latest venture, you see."

"Am I?" I asked with a raised brow.

The snow leopard's tail flicked out from behind the chair. "It's on the table, my friend." His arms spread wide to give an exaggerated shrug, "But if you insist on finding opportunity elsewhere, my people and I could always just mind our own business and... enjoy some deer jerky."

My ears perked up, and my stomach got the better of me. "Oh yeah, it's been forever since I've had that. Could you put some in my bag too?"

Cool Cat Freckles' air of confidence faltered with his smile. There was an awkward silence until what he said registered with me as the threat it was meant to be.

Adrenaline surged through me and I put my hooves up on the table, "Wait, you mean Bou! No, that ain't happening!" My cheeks flushed a bit over that. I was glad she wasn't around for this.

"So we do have an understanding," Cool Cat Freckles' bravado returned without missing a beat. "My boys have been searching these mines for the lost mineral that Mount Wishimay was supposedly once rich in."

My ears turned back as I narrowed my eyes, "And what does that have to do with me?"

"Those diamond dogs can sniff out gem stones about as well as any dragon can," He pointed a claw at me, "And I have been assured that you, my friend, have the scent of the legendary wishimite all over you."

I sat back in my chair as I processed this, "Wishimite?"

"Don't play dumb, horsie," Cool Cat Freckles lowered his shades, those yellow eyes studying me. But I wasn't playing. I was definitely dumb. He set his shades back and continued, "One of the most powerful magical substances in the known and unknown world. We're talking about wish magic here, little pony! I know some very powerful creatures who would pay a king's ransom for an ounce of it. And my dogs tell me that your stink of wishimite is a hundred times stronger than any of the scent that still lingers in the ancient mines." He lifted an orange from the table, and easily crushed it in his claws. "You know where we can find some, and I really do believe that it would be in your friend's best interest if you cooperated."

Wish magic? Oh... Oh, no way. My mind was reeling as the reality of it set in. The lucky star that brought me here! All of this was really all my fault! I went off after that fight with Chloe. I made that wish in front of the Christmas tree. And now Bou...

Cool Cat Freckles must have noticed my eyes wandering as I got lost in those thoughts, "There's nothing more important to a pony than their friends. So... Are we cool?" His toothy grin returned.

I trusted this guy about as far as I could throw him. Bleh, that thought carried a new meaning now that I was an equine. I was responsible for all of this. I had to get Bou out of here. Even if I could somehow get a key, I'd have no idea what to do with it. I didn't have hands anymore. I needed something else that could open that cell. I got an idea. I did have something, but it was risky as hell. Fuck it, this was my fault anyway. Now, I just had to play along. I got up from my seat and trotted to Freckles' side of the table. I gave a firm nod, "Let's get started."

"Aah-aaah~ That's what I like to hear!" The snow leopard sing-songed as he stood up from his chair. "Just remember, little pony, that little reindeer is counting on the choices you make with us." He dropped the saddle bag full of produce on my back.

"Hmm, she sure is." I pulled my hind legs back, with feeling this time, and bucked with everything I had. Cool Cat Freckles was launched into the wall behind us, his sunglasses stayed where they were and after a moment they fell to the floor. I wasted no time. I didn't even look back.

"Rrraaagh!" I heard Freckles roar behind me. I couldn't run too fast. I would just trip over these new hooves. But I had to follow the path that they took me on. I had to get back to Bou. It was getting hotter. That was good.

My hoofsteps echoed down the hallway, and so did Freckles' shouting as he gave chase. When I cantered into the volcanic treasure room, the enormous dragon was already looking in my direction. It roared ferociously in the confined space, and my whole skeleton tingled when it did. "Yeah! Hey, dragon!" I skidded to a stop in front of Bou's cell.

"Riot!?" Bou was up against the bars, visibly confused. She looked like she had been crying. "What's going on?"

"I'm rescuing you. Back up into that corner!" I warned her and she did so. I met the dragon's gaze. Her eyes seemed to widen a bit when I addressed her, "Tasty snack right here for you, lizard brain! Come and get me!" She snarled but didn't move right away.

"Stop that pony!" Freckles' could be heard down the hall. That's when the dragon lunged for me, and my heart skipped a beat when I kicked against the stone floor to jump out of the way. Crashing metal, growling beast, and screaming reindeer hammered my ear drums as the dragon broke through the bars of Bou's cell. The dragon's maw was held shut now that her snout seemed to be wedged in the stone structure.

I leapt onto her snout to call out to Bou, "Get out of there now!"

"You call this a rescue!?" Bou screamed at me as she slipped out where the metal bars were bent and snapped. Her little reindeer legs were shaking.

"Yes! Go and get to safety!" I screamed in response before I reared back and bucked the beast between the eyes. I winced, she didn't even flinch. Her scales were even harder than the metal bars. The dragon started pulling her snout out with me still standing on it. I looked back at those gigantic eyes, and they looked back at me.

"I'm not leaving you!" She alternated her hooves in an unfortunately adorable dance of panic, "This is all my fault! I'm responsible for this!"

"No, I'm responsible for- Uh, whoa!" I found it hard to complete a retort as the dragon raised her head into the air. I lowered myself and fought to keep my balance. I glanced back at Bou, who was still on the ground as it was getting further away from me. I spotted Cool Cat Freckles approaching from behind her. "Bou! Look out!"

With my warning she noticed the snow leopard as he leapt at her with a rumbling yowl. She bounced out of the way just in time to avoid the bulky cat. "Rrrargh! Detain the pony!" He stood straight and pointed up at his dragon pet.

"Yes, my king." She flung me into the air off of her snout, and I screamed as my hooves flailed to find any ground. Before I could even start falling, I was caught in her mouth.

"Ooooh my god ohmygodohmygodohmygod!" Bou screaming my name was only heard in the back of my mind, behind the pounding of my heart and my own blubbering panic. The fangs didn't close all the way, giving me a view from above. I didn't dare look back down the dragon's throat. One flex of that tongue underneath me, and that would be it.

A cruel laugh came from Cool Cat Freckles down below. Helplessly I watched him take a swing at Bou with those huge claws, but she leapt up to dodge it.

Bou shrieked and when she hit the ground again she pleaded to Freckles, "Please! Just let him go! I'll do anything!"

Another swipe from the snow leopard. She had to duck it this time. "Sorry, little snack," his voice was smooth as he stepped around Bou, "That pony had the chance to deal for your life, and he made the wrong choice. But he can bargain with his own, now." Bou's quivering legs kept her facing her foe as he prowled closer, but she took a step back every time he took a step forward. "He can get smart and find the wishimite for me, or he can be a treat for Treasure. Green boy thinks he's the first pony to have tried something like that. But Cool Cat Freckles don't lose his cool." Bou's whole body flinched when she backed up too close to the magma pool, and the heat from it caused her little tail to singe. Freckles had been herding her into a corner the whole time. "Now I'll show him that I don't make empty threats."

As soon as Bou realized she was trapped, her face twisted into a wide grin. "Eeeeee!" Freckles lowered his ears in response to the high-pitched noise the reindeer started making, "Oooh, I've never been more scared in my life! You're really good at this, mister kitty cat!" She made a giddy little dance on her hooves.

The boss had a visible confusion behind those sunglasses. He rose from his intimidating stance and shrugged, "Yo, what is wrong with you doe?"

I was less surprised by Bou's... eccentricity. It got me thinking, even. If she's not a deer in headlights in this situation, why should I be? But what could I do from inside a dragon's maw? Well, I bet the inside of her mouth wasn't as tough as her scales. I pulled my hind legs back one more time, and desperately bucked with everything I could. It was a hard, true Earth Pony buck like thunder crashing against the beast's upper palette. She gave a roar of displeasure and when she turned her jaw up I used that opportunity to leap between those fangs and out to freedom.

That's when I remembered that the dragon who just let me go who was sitting in a pool of magma. I soared through the air, hooves flailing and screams wailing as fruits and vegetables trailed from my saddlebag to make sizzling splashes in the molten rock below. Both Bou and Freckles had their eyes glued to me as I somehow cleared the distance. Cool Cat Freckles sidestepped to avoid me crashing down to land. Face down, ass in the air, my eyes couldn't set themselves straight. Otherwise Bou and I would have had the tables turned on him. As it was now, he just gave a hearty laugh.

"You really need to learn to keep your cool, little pony," He turned back to Bou, claws ready. During my flight over the magma pool, it seemed that a lone cucumber had fallen from my saddlebag onto the stone floor between Bou and Cool Cat Freckles. The second that the snow leopard noticed the cucumber, he took a startled leap. He had thrown himself into the boiling magma with a naught but a 'plorp'.

Bou's jaw dropped. The dragon's jaw dropped. I was pulling myself to my hooves and shaking my head. "...What?" I read the awkward silence in the room and was genuinely confused. My eyes shifted between Bou staring at me, the dragon staring at me, and the smoke trailing up from the magma where Cool Cat Freckles had just met his end.

Bou took a few steps, but then broke out into a gallop to close the distance to me. She leaned herself against me, her purple neck floof brushing on my coat. "Riot, I do not say this lightly," Bou began, "But that is the best thing that a cucumber has ever done for me."

"...What!?" A low growl came from above, and both Bou and I instantly turned our attention to it. We hugged each other in shared terror, "Shit, there's still the dragon!"

But the dragon didn't move. She just stared at me. A minute passed, our eyes locked. Bou and I started to relax and we pulled from each other. "...Are you going to try and eat us?" I eventually called out to the monster.

"I do not have orders to." She responded in a neutral tone.

"But he killed your boss," Bou pointed a hoof at me. I flinched and waved my hooves back and forth to try and get her to shut up.

The dragon craned her neck closer, her eyes still fixed on me. My reindeer friend scrambled to get back but I was too scared to move. "The king is dead," the dragon's face was right in front of mine. My eyes watched her fangs as she spoke, "Do you lay claim to his Treasure?"

My mouth hung open but I couldn't produce any sounds.

"Hey ask her about my large chest!" Bou shouted from the back of her former cell.

I shook my head and gave a nod, "Uh, yeah! I should probably get my hands on her large chest. So... So yeah... the treasure's mine now?"

With a slow nod, the dragon's mouth seemed to take the faintest turn to a smile, "Long live the king." She rose once more, and turned to grab Bou's large chest from the top of the treasure pile. I was seriously confused.

As soon as the large chest was back where Bou could reach it, she squealed with delight and bounded towards it. "You got it back!"

A loud, ferocious growl from the beast in the magma pool stopped Bou dead in her tracks before she was able to touch her large chest. "That belongs to my king!"

"Hey! Don't you hurt her!" I took a stance between the reindeer and the dragon. The dragon immediately stopped her growling and fell to a more docile pose. "That belongs to her!"

"Yes, my king," the huge monster muttered while avoiding eye contact. I looked back at Bou and gave her a shrug.

"What, is she your pet now or something?" Bou scoffed.

"If that is what my king desires." Both Bou and I turned our ears down in embarrassment to hear it answered like that so plainly.

"What is this?" I asked, doubtful. "What are you... doing?"

"I belonged to Cool Cat Freckles as part of his treasure hoard. You killed him and claimed his treasure for yourself. I am Treasure, and I am yours now."

I sat back on my haunches. A few minutes ago I was about to slide down this monster's throat. Now she was trying to be all submissive with me? I frowned while thinking it over. I was tired, hungry, and afraid for my life. Holding onto my rational self was becoming a real chore.

"Hey, Riot. I can't open this without my magic," Bou leaned her head down to scrape her antler shackles against the stone. "How do we get these off?"

"Leena would have the keys to unlock it. She would be with the rest of the crew down in the mines," Treasure explained, "But they were my former king's employees. They will have to be informed of the changes."

"Are they my employees now?" I asked her.

"Not necessarily," she informed.

I sighed, "Good thing I have a scary dragon, then."