Laugh Riot

Mount Wishimay stands higher than any other mountain known to ponykind. The peak spirals to a rocky point, which is apparently a hollow tube that extends all the way down to the volcanic chamber we were just in. So when you're clinging desperately to the back of a dragon while she takes a soaring leap from that peak, the one that is the highest point on the planet that just so happens to be in the arctic circle, it is like a roller coaster from hell, to hell. My screams were gone, and there wasn't enough air for me to start screaming again. Bou's elated squeals seemed to be more lung-efficient as her voice rung in my ears over the wind and all the way down. Treasure took an angle to her dive, and the wind friction let up enough for me to open one of my eyes. I immediately shut it again seeing a layer of clouds approaching fast. I felt our momentum shift as our angle evened out. I relaxed and opened my eyes to the sea of clouds. We were now gliding smoothly South.

"That was amazing!" Bou shrieked over the wind.

"That was terrifying," I could only mutter while trying not to lose the lunch I had just enjoyed.

"Where shall we fly, my king?"

"Just South! South is good for now..." I barked back at the dragon. I was glad that she was so warm, but being in a less frozen climate would be even better.

"We were heading to Equestria!" Bou told our mount.

"Equestria is to the South," Treasure gave a nod and gave a flap to maintain her gliding altitude. I looked back to watch the pointed peak of Mount Wishimay gradually shrink in the distance.

"Those cats and dogs sure didn't seem happy," my reindeer companion mentioned. We had just sent them all away on the boat at the mountain's south-side port. Before we had realized that it was the only boat, that is. Now the only way to continue our journey was on Treasure's back, which I wasn't happy to need, but she was happy to oblige.

"Well, they can spend the holidays with their loved ones now. Their operation at the mountain is no longer anyone's problem." It was an easy decision to make, threatened at dragon point.

"And so can you, as soon as I get you home for Christmas!" Bou yawned after saying that. We were both tired. She seemed content to curl up and get some rest. But I was watching the dragon carrying us. The previous events were still fresh in my mind. I had made the choice to risk my own life to defend Bou's, and still we both barely made it out of there on what felt like a stroke of luck.

I got up from where I was laying. I had been nestled between the silvery spines running down Treasure's back. The sun reflecting off of her white scales made me wish I had a pair of sunglasses. I stumbled a bit since, by habit, I had tried to stand up on my hind legs. It felt like I could if I really tried, but it didn't feel the same as when I was a human. I fell back onto all fours. On the other side of the spines, I saw Bou curled up in a deep slumber. I knew to let her sleep, and not just because it was the cutest thing I'd ever seen. If I didn't know better, I'd think she were a faun.

"You will not sleep, my king?" Treasure's voice rumbled beneath my hooves. I steadily walked forward on her back and took a seat on her shoulder.

"I'm not taking my eyes off you," I told her. How could I sleep? I was begrudgingly accepting a ride but this creature still tried to kill me this morning. In spite of my emotions, I kept my body close against Treasure's scales. Her insides ran hot and she was warm to the touch.

"Very well. Where shall you go, my king?" She glanced back at me.

"Somewhere warmer, that's for sure. Once I'm in Equestria I can... I don't know, find a princess or something." They were the most powerful things around here, I reasoned to myself. If there was a way to get home, one of them could probably handle it.

The dragon turned her eyes back to the sky and flapped her gigantic wings to adjust course. "Then we shall head Southeast across the North Luna Sea, and towards Equestria's coast."

I watched the rolling waves passing by underneath us, "I can't see anything but the ocean... You're sure that's where we're going?"

"It is a route that I am familiar with. You have my word, my king."

"Why are you calling me that...?"

"Because you are my king."

"Okay, but why?"

"My previous king perished thanks to you, and you took ownership of his Treasure," this dragon spoke so matter-of-factly. My thoughts drifted to Bou's large chest, hanging by straps around Treasure's neck. The rest of Cool Cat Freckles' hoard had been stuffed inside. Gold, jewels, curious objects. But apparently the beast considered herself as a part of that hoard.

Her words processed more in my head. I didn't mean for that to happen to him. That cat guy just launched himself to his death because I dropped a cucumber near him. Now he's gone. He was going to kill Bou and he was going to command Treasure to kill me, so I definitely didn't feel too bad about it. It just felt... odd to be considered responsible for his death. Bou certainly didn't mind it.

That line of contemplation put my mind on a course of many thoughts, but I didn't let any of them linger too long. I was tense and focused on Treasure. Flying with someone who just tried to kill you is no time to take it easy. Bou could rest. She's earned at least that much, and she'll be safe too as long as I keep watch. Luckily, the monster wasn't too chatty herself.

Hours passed, the sun vanished and came back. I watched the dragon, the dragon watched the skies. Sometimes she would glance back at me with those bright green eyes. What was she smiling about?

I heard Bou give a squeaky yawn behind me, "G'morning, Riot. G'morning, Treasure."

"Good morning, young reindeer," the dragon greeted, "You slept well, then?" Since when did this monster have such good manners?

"Oh, I did!" Bou chirped, "Thank you for helping us!"

"It was my king's will. Thanks are not necessary." Technically I did agree to it as our best option. I wasn't sure if I would call that my 'will.'

"So what have you two been talking about?" Bou looked over at me with a smile.

"I'm just trying to figure out what... What all of this is..." I sighed my way through saying.

"Wait, what what is?" Bou looked between me and the dragon's face. Treasure spoke without taking her eyes off the horizon. Occasionally, she would flap her wings to maintain altitude.

"I belong to you now, my king," she explained, "I am yours to use and command."

"Why, though?" I begged the question once more.

"As I had said, my king. Cool Cat Freckles was my previous owner, and you-"

"I mean why does it work that way?" I cut her off with shortened patience.

"That is how I have always been. I am my king's Treasure."

"But I'm not a king."

"You are my king."

I groaned in mild frustration, slumping against her spines. Bou's grin had grown wider and more manic during our conversation. With the break in questioning, it seemed she couldn't help but join in.

"So you'll do anything Riot says?" She sat up and had her forelegs up in giddy anticipation.

"I will," Treasure continued to answer in very plain and simple terms.

"Even if it's embarrassing?"

"That is irrelevant. I follow my king's command."

"Even if it's gross?"

"I would do as he wishes."

"Even if you could die?"

"My life belongs to my king."

"Would you kill somepony if he told you to?" Her morbid curiosity was twisting her grin into a precious little nightmare.

"I would."

"No," I groaned out, "You're not killing anyone!"

"As you wish, my king."

Bou fell back to sitting on all fours. Her smile had faded and her ears fell back a little bit. "She's not scared at all. She really means it."

"Of course she's not scared. Look at her!" My tone betrayed how annoyed I was with Bou bothering the giant beast.

"You know," Bou's blacklit orange eyes turned to me while she tapped her chin with a cloven hoof, "That says a lot about her, but I actually don't know a whole lot about you, Riot."

I raised a brow, and then looked away. "W-What is there to know?" Other than the fact that I was human just a couple days ago, living a normal life without talking reindeer or dragons.

"Where did you come from before you came down on the lucky star?" She pushed.

"Oh... Uh, nowhere in particular," it wasn't that I didn't want to tell her. I just had no idea how I would explain any of this, or if it was even a good idea to.

"I can tell you're lying. You smell like fear!" Bou chirped.

"My king smells like wishimite," Treasure countered. That didn't sit well with me, since I knew it meant that I smelled tasty to her.

"Ugh, I need a shower," I grumbled.

Bou giggled, "Well, there must be something more to you, Riot. It's not every day a pony- Oh my goodness!" She cut herself off to point at my butt.

"What? What happened!?" I followed where she was pointing and saw, to my horror, the only thing she could have been reacting to.

It was a picture. An icon. A mark. Upon my flank. In saccharine pastel colors to contrast with my light-green fur. A light-blue jester hat with an inverted golden crown underneath it, like a reflection. This was the mark upon my flank. A cutie mark, as the ponies are keen to call it.

"You got your cutie mark!" Bou cheered.

"What!? When!?" I was flabbergasted. Who had painted my butt, and why?

"I don't know. Recently, I guess! It was blank before!" I didn't even think to check. Bou was paying more attention than I was. Hold on...

"And how do you know? Were you looking at my butt?" I asked incredulously.

"Kinda hard not to notice. And don't tell me you weren't looking at mine," Bou teased back.

"I was following behind you! You were guiding me!" I defended myself.

Bou scooted next to me and put a hoof around my shoulder. Her neck fur felt like one of those pillows you take on an airplane. A strange contrast with the instinctive uneasiness one feels when looking into her glare. "Riot, my buddy. Congratulations, really. I know how important cutie marks are for you ponies. And seriously, I couldn't be happier."

There was a pause, her eyes staring into mine while being uncomfortably close. "Uh..."

"Because..." She continued, "I have. Always. Wanted. To throw a cute-ceañera. And I'm gonna make yours the best one ever." She practically whispered that last part.

"...A what?" I deadpanned. Evidently this was something I should know from the show, but it's not like I would remember any nonsense like that.

"Cute-ceañera," Bou practically had her cheek up against mine still.

"A quinceañera?"

"A cute-ceañera."

"Qué demonios te pasa?"

"It's a rite of passage, Riot. A special day that's unique to everypony? You only get one in your life? You don't seem excited." She backed off, a hint of scrutiny in her eyes.

When she put it like that, it really did seem like a sort of super holiday for ponies. "Of course you'd be excited," I said to her while waving a hoof dismissively, "But it sounds like something that's for little kids."

Bou put her forelegs up as if she were begging. "Please, Riot! I want to do this for you! Remember the Gift Giver!" Her glare was definitely more cute than spooky when her pout came to back it up.

I turned my ears back at Alice's mention, "I still don't know what her gift was, but I hope you kept the receipt." I didn't want to say no to those begging eyes, but I didn't exactly want to go all in on being a pony either.

"Pfft-heheheheee!" Bou cackled while rolling back to kick her hind legs. Sure, it was a joke. But I didn't think it was that funny. "You're always good for a laugh, Riot!"

"A settlement on the horizon, my king!" Treasure called out to me, "Vanhoover, if my memory serves well."

She was right. I could see skyscrapers in the distance. A coastal city, sprinkled with snow worthy of the Hearth's Warming season. Though I was overcome with a false nostalgia, I was rational enough to know this was nothing like home. As we approached the harbor we were joined on either of Treasure's flanks by pegasi in flight suits with glowing helmets. Their pattern was impressively intuitive. "Look! They're guiding us to land! That's so cool!" The dragon caught on and kept in line. I supposed it made sense that Treasure wasn't the only fully-grown dragon to visit this city. Vanhoover seemed to have a landing area to accommodate flying creatures that are the size of a house.

Treasure made her landing on a round, concrete platform sticking out as part of the harbor. It reminded me of a helicopter pad. As soon as we landed Bou floated daintily from Treasure's back. My dismount was much less graceful, but Bou's magic caught me before I face-planted.

"Alright..." I yawned while stretching my legs, "First things first..." Another yawn took the rest of my words from me. My eyes felt strained.

"You look pretty beat, Riot. Bags under the eyes are my kind of style, but you should really take a load off. In the mean time, I'll get everything ready for your cute-ceañera!" Bou sing-songed.

"No, Bou. I'm a grown-up. I don't need a... A cute-ceañera," I said that last part softer because, let's be honest, it was a ridiculous thing to say.

"Right. Sure," Bou didn't sound convinced, which made the next words out of her mouth extremely suspicious, "I'll just... Go off and... Grocery shopping, like you wanted to do. Remember?"

"Bou..." My words were caught by another yawn.

"Don't worry, no candy this time! Meet you back at the wharf!"

"I'm not going to any damn... Cute-ceañera," my protests reduced to a mumble since Bou was already flying off into town.

So that's it, I was left alone with the dragon. I looked up at her with a squint in the morning light. She looked back at me. I put one hoof in front of me and started making my way into the town proper. I could hear Treasure start to follow, and I immediately spun back around. "What do you want?"

Treasure raised her brows, "What?"

"Why are you following me?"

She tilted her head, "Do you wish for me to stay here, my king?"

Perhaps the dread and adrenaline from the events prior were still fresh in my mind, perhaps it was the lack of sleep, perhaps it was being lost in the cosmos as a dimunitive quadruped, most likely it was all of those things. I lost my patience with the dragon, "Knock it off with the 'king' stuff, Treasure! You tried to eat me and I don't feel safe around you! It's getting on my fucking nerves!" I spat at the beast at the top of my lungs. With every sentence she sunk lower to the ground. She lowered her gaze.

"I... do not want you to feel unsafe with me," she muttered meekly. "I... I am your Treasure..."

"Alright, fine! You know what?" I sat back on my haunches so I could throw my front legs up without falling over. Boy, did I miss being bipedal. "You got us here, and that's just fine. The only thing I care about is getting home," if I could get home, I noted inwardly, "and making sure Bou and I are safe. That's all I want. So please, just go!" I stamped a hoof, and the enormous monster seemed to flinch at that. She looked away from me, and wordlessly took off into the sky again. My mane and tail blew in the breeze as she flapped her wings. The air calmed down again as she gained distance and disappeared behind the city's skyline.

I was now free to trot into town at my sleep-deprived leisure. If Bou was going to try and throw a cute... A cute-cen... A party. Bou was shopping for food. That's the point I was making to myself. I glanced around at the various ponies that populated Vanhoover. Earth ponies, unicorns, and pegasi. There were other pony-like and not pony-like creatures but they were definitely less common. A few walking by with their hooves making a bouncy rhythm against the cobblestone. Some flew overhead with a very casual regard for air traffic common sense. All kinds riding a trolley rolling by on a rail in the middle of the road. It was so surreal, a world of cartoonishly-proportioned equines. It's just a cartoon when you're watching it on a screen, but now I was a part of it. Well, when in Rome...

"One pants please!" The glass door swung open and I called out to whomever may be working the first boutique that I spotted.

"Welcome to Sort By Rarity! Vanhoover's premiere crown of couture!" A chipper mare approached in some white, green, and orange hip-hop ensemble that definitely sold a talent for aesthetic coordination. I did appreciate it, but my speaking mind wasn't quite up to the task.

"Yo, Jet Set Radio! Do you tailor pants?"

The mare smiled patiently, "My name is Juicy Jazz, and yes! Right this way, sir." The horn on her head lit up with a sparkling aura. It was my first time seeing a unicorn do it, though Bou's antlers had a similar effect. "Are we only dealing in bottomwear today or can we interest you in the whole package?"

My ears perked up. "Oh, that's a good question! It might be nice to have something nice..." I put a hoof up to my chin, but my head was still kind hanging low from how tired I was.

A long ribbon snaked its way through the air, coated in the same sparkling aura that the unicorn's horn generated. The markings on it made it clear that this was a measuring tape. I watched it float with a wide wonder in my eyes. "If you're planning on attending the premiere tonight, you should know that the host herself will be wearing a jazzy number from Sort By Rarity as well!"

"The premiere?" As soon as I asked, the measuring tape flew around my head and then zoomed off to a flier on the wall, circling it for emphasis.

'All are welcome to the one-time-only cute-ceañera celebration of Vanhoover's young and talented magic picture artist, Tween Frame! Don't miss the world premiere for the magic picture project that earned Tween Frame her cutie mark! Eye-Works Studios presents a Tween Frame magic picture: Steamboat Filly! Join us at the rooftop venue at One Tall Centre on...' The numbers at the end of the message were probably whatever format Equestria uses to note date and time. But the rest of the flier was clear to me, with boldened words and cutesy cartoon characters.

I realized that the same flier was also plastered on the window and door outside. I might have even spotted a few on the way here, but this was my first time actually reading the flier. "I'm not really in town for a cute-ceañera," I said it and I meant it, "Though I still would like something to fill out my wardrobe."

"Excellent, sir!" Juicy Jazz brought the measuring tape back to her and motioned for me to follow her to a fitting area in the back of the boutique. "Did you have anything particular in mind or would you like a recommendation? What is your range of budget?"

The measuring tape flew around my hind legs and my belly. Juicy's smile was gone while she switched her focus between the measuring tape and a notepad. My mind caught up with my while I processed what she was asking, "My budget...?" I realized two things. Thing 1: I have no clue how money works here. And, Thing B: All of the money I would have is inside Bou's large chest, which is currently hanging around that dragon's neck. God. Fucking. Damn it.

The mare's voice was behind me now, "Lift your tail, please." My head shot up and I inwardly marveled as my train of thought achieved multi-track derailing.

"Excuse me?" I had hoped that my manners masked the bewilderment in that question.

The tailor looked up from her notepad. That polite smile returned and I could tell that she was swapping back to customer service mode. "Stallions can vary in bottomwear measurements. For obvious reasons. I will need to get under there and make sure we have the right dimensions for... your comfort."

Oh, honey. Any dimension would be more comfortable than this one right now.

Without missing a beat I turned to start backing away from Juicy and towards the doors, "Well, you've been very helpful! But I think I have to go... uh... chase the dragon. Thank you, bye!" I was gone before she could get a word in.

"Well that could have gone better," I mumbled. My hooves were starting to drag through the lively city of Vanhoover. I moved enough to dodge the slush when a cart sped by on the road. It was a winter's day for sure, but relatively nice after having to be bundled up in the arctic. Bou's never going to forgive me if I don't get her large chest back, I thought to myself. I imagined her face. Those big, orange eyes on the verge of tears to hear that I lost her large chest. Again. Boy, I really wanted that dragon gone but I kinda screwed up. Have I been doing that a lot lately? Isn't that how I ended up here in the first place? ...No, I confirmed to myself. I was right. Chloe was wrong. What was her problem, anyway?

Sounds of running water and the bouncing colors of flashing Hearth's Warming lights told me I had found my way out of the market area and into a city park. I was busy looking down at my hooves, but spared a glance up. It was a terraced fountain, and in front of the fountain was a small filly passing out fliers. Sights and sounds to help clear my mind. Before I knew it, my rump had found its way to a park bench while I stared at the fountain. My mind was still rolling over recent events. I gotta get Bou's large chest back. But I have no idea where that dragon went off to. She's enormous. Someone must have seen her... Somepony. I'll just rest my eyes for a second and then...

I awoke to the sound of screams and hooves pounding on the cobblestone. My eyes struggled to open. I saw ponies all around me, stampeding away from downtown in a panic. "Huh? What's the... What's the dealio?" I yawned and tried to rub my eye. I had nearly forgotten about my equine affliction and groaned when I almost left a hoofprint on my cornea.

"There's a dragon attack!"

"It's gone crazy! Run while you can!"

Ponies cried out in terror as they passed. "A dragon attack?" I dumbly repeated while those words and their meaning dawned on my brain. At that moment, a familiar roar sounded from deep among the skyscrapers. My ears knew before I did, and I leapt from the park bench like it was a hot skillet. "Oh... Oh, crap. Treasure!" I took off running in the direction everypony was running from. I galloped. I didn't know I could do it, but I galloped. The rhythm of my hooves hitting the street help my mind focus. Treasure scared me. She was a big, killer dragon as far as I was concerned. And I had just let her loose on a city. I had to get there. It was time to be her king.

I dodged other ponies and creatures, looking up at the buildings for any sign of where the chaos was. I squinted to mitigate the late-afternoon sun reflecting off the windows. A massive shadow darted past a brick building in the distance. That could have only been Treasure. Her mighty roar confirmed it, and I took off to give chase.

I was closer now, and as soon as I turned a corner something came flying at me like a cannonball. The only thing I knew before it hit was that it was a pony levitating a glass ball. We went tumbling across the pavement, and dark green locks draped over my face when their hood flew open. The creature that was on top of me stared back with a terrifying glow to their eyes, unlike any pony I've seen before, with an odd purple smoke running down like tears. A huge gust of wind blew from behind her. Littered papers and flows of fresh snow swirled down the street. It was Treasure flapping her enormous wings to slow down. "My king!?" She was as surprised as any of us.

The pony looked back at Treasure, then back at me and snarled in frustration. She floated into the air. A red light shone from inside the ball. "My powers are not yet strong enough for a dragon." The dark mare spoke. The glass ball swirled around her as it built up its own glow, and a bolt of energy fired from within it. Treasure roared as she was struck, but there was no visible damage where the magic crackled on her scales. Her snarl was so loud and deep, I could feel it in my bones again. She was ready to lunge at the pony, wings raised.

I scrambled to get out of the way. Her claws pushing off the street so close to where I was, the impact practically catapulted me into a snow-covered bush on the sidewalk. She missed the floating mare and reflexively tried to flap her wings to catch herself tumbling forward. The street was too narrow for that, though. Carts on the road were launched in all directions and her wings scraped against buildings on either side. Luckily the glass from a broken window didn't seem to scratch her pearly scales. That's when I noticed a bunch of... things crawling all over Treasure's body. Some of them had fallen off when she tumbled and were now scurrying around like spiders of unusual size. Treasure seemed unfazed by their presence and was getting ready to make another lunge at the unknown mare. She roared again when a bolt of energy got her in the shoulder.

"Treasure, stop!" There was no way she heard me.

"Riot!" It was Bou! She was following down the street after Treasure, who was chasing the mare. She stopped when she spotted me.

"What in the hell is going on!?" I was relieved to see a friend right now, and she seemed to be involved in this too.

"I don't know! I was just talking with this lady and Treasure comes out of nowhere and attacks her!" Bou exclaimed, "I thought she was nice but she started using all this crazy magic when Treasure came at her!"

One of the things that had fallen off the dragon was moving towards us. It looked like... Okay, this is turning into a bit of a day. It seemed like a disembodied hand. A bit larger than a human's, but the proportions of the digits were longer, and with bony tips like claws. It pulsed with raw muscle, blood vessels, and bits of hair all over it. "Bou, watch out!" We both stepped away from each other when I saw the hand-thing take a flying leap to try and grasp the reindeer with its claws. When it did, it made a pained squeal that made my stomach turn. It fell over on the ground after missing its target, and from that angle I could see clearly the head of a rat sticking out from the meat where the hand might meet a wrist. The rat head squeaked and squealed as the claws rolled to set it upright. The pavement was wet with the fluids it had lost in doing so. The hand-thing was poised to strike a second time. "Nope," I spun and bucked whatever that was to the next block over.

Bou swallowed nervously as she touched back down to the street, "That mare used a kind of magic from her orb. It did... that! To some sewer rats! I've never seen anything like it!"

"Jesus..." I carefully wiped my back hoof on a curb. I didn't like touching the rat-hand-thing. "What do we do?"

"I don't know. What even happened? I thought Treasure was with you?" She leaned forward.

"Uhhh... I kind of... Told her to go away," I admitted to Bou.

She looked confused, "Go away...? Like 'away' away?" I only nodded while avoiding her glare. I looked up at the tall buildings that cast their shadows over us. But Bou just floated back into my line of sight with her magic.

"Wait, really? She flew us all the way here and you're trying to ditch her?"

"Kinda..."

"She thinks she belongs to you, and you're going to abandon her?"

I shrugged, "She abandoned Cool Cat Freckles easily enough."

"Riot!" Bou was not pleased. We both flinched when the battle taking place behind us rumbled the streets.

The mare had used some high-impact spell to knock Treasure down. A dragon-shaped indentation of rubble decorated a series of townhomes like a mural of destruction. Treasure growled and swung her tail, knocking the mystery mare into the air.

"She tried to eat me, Bou! Look at her, she's a monster!"

Bou was quiet for a moment. She glanced off to the side and sneered. Another one of those hand-monsters was caught in mid-air by her magic and she tossed it down an alleyway. She shivered in disgust before she spoke again, "I get it. I remember. You were really scared, and not the good kind of scared."

"Panicked, Bou," I clarified, "I was panicked. I bet it smells different than how I feel right now, right? Or however it works." She nodded silently as we both turned to watch the sorceress flying our way.

I ducked, and Bou hit the ground to do the same. But she simply took off overhead. The light inside her glass ball had changed to glow green, "Oh, no! No, no, no! We need to leave!" The ball turned red again, "That is what I am saying, you fool! Disengage!" Her voice was fading out as she turned the corner around a skyscraper in the distance. Treasure passed overhead in pursuit, Bou and I braced ourselves in the wind when she worked her wings to gain altitude. The flap of her wings seemed to strain the windows on the buildings. She gracefully rolled to twist around the structure without her wingspan clipping it.

The breeze settled and Bou caught one of the fliers dancing in the air. She held it in her magic, looking it over curiously.

"That bitch had eyes like Sombra..." I realized the similarity after getting a second look at her.

Bou smiled at the contents of the flier and then stuffed the paper into her neck floof. "Gosh, I haven't heard that name since I was a kid. I didn't see her face while her hood was up. Was it spooky?"

I turned away and responded flatly, "Even spookier than you, Bou." I couldn't help but smile a little when she gasped indignantly.

"You take that back! She can't be spookier than me!"

I turned back to her, unable to hide my smirk and unable to care if I did, "Sorry Bou, I don't make the rules. Those purple smoky eyes are paralyzing up close. Seems like a cute little doe like you is going to have to step up her scare game to compete in this town," I pointed my hoof at her with a playful wave to it.

She blushed with the fiercest little pout. "Oooh! Just you wait, Riot!" She floated higher than me to try and intimidate, "Your cute-ceañera is going to be a surprise party that will not be for the faint of heart!"

I gave an exasperated sigh. "Oh, Bou. I hoped you had forgotten about that. I know I did," I grumbled.

Treasure had come back from around a skyscraper, no longer in pursuit of the mystery pony. Several of those rat-hand-things were shaken and blown from her body as she flapped her wings for a careful landing in front of us. "My king!" She addressed me as she always did.

"Treasure, what the hell!?" I wasted no time confronting her.

"Just what was that, Treasure?" Bou was right behind me.

"I apologize, my king," Treasure lowered her head, "The enemy disappeared into the shadows. I lost track of her. Even her scent is gone. I don't know what she wanted, but Bou is safe now."

Bou was incredulous, "Of course I'm safe! That lady was super nice until you showed up!"

"Whoa, hold on! Okay Treasure, back up!" The dragon began to shuffle backwards from her crouched position on all-fours. I rolled my eyes and worded it to her more carefully, "I mean tell me what happened! Start from the when I saw you after we landed."

"You told me that you wanted yourself and Bou to be safe. So, I flew off to find Bou. When I did, that pony was in the midst of drawing a blade on Bou, so-" she began to explain and Bou cut her off.

"What!? She had a blade!?" Apparently Bou was almost as clueless as I was. Sirens in the distance told us that Vanhoover's law enforcement was approaching to respond to the 'dragon attack.'

I groaned in frustration, "Oh great, the police!"

"You ordered me not to kill anyone, my king," Treasure started, "The best way for me to follow that order would be for us to flee. Then I can explain in full." What a way to put it, but she wasn't wrong. Bou was already floating up to hitch a ride on the dragon's back.

"Another town, another place we're not-Wagh!" She screamed, "Treasure, there's still one on your wing!"

The dragon bent her long neck around to see what the reindeer had meant. One of those meaty hand claw things was still clinging to the arm of her wing. She stared at it for only a moment before reaching back to pull it off with her teeth. Bou and I both visibly cringed when she just gulped it down like a duck with a piece of bread.

"Augh! Treasure, why!?" I cried out in disgust.

"They are merely rats, my king. Their flesh twisted by magic and puppeteered to attempt us harm. That is something I will not allow."

"Whatever! Let's just go!" I trotted back to climb up her tail like I had done back at Mount Wishimay. Bou joined and we took off. I looked back and saw the silly siren hats of the police pegasi in pursuit.

"Hold on tight!" Treasure gave warning before she started taking sharp maneuvers between buildings. "It has been a while since I had been a getaway dragon, but the skills have not left me!"

I had to hand it to her, she wasn't lying. I would give her police-dodging skills at least four wanted stars out of five. Eventually, she flew us South to a quiet construction site outside the city. 'Development resumes after Hearth's Warming,' according to the sign.

"We should be safe here, my king," Treasure announced as we landed.

Bou floated in front of Treasure's face, "Now what was that you were saying about a blade?"

"Hang on," I called to the reindeer as I leaped to Treasure's leg, and then to the ground, "That still only gives me partial context. You start, Bou. Who was that?"

"Okay, so I was looking for ideas to get ready for your cute-ceañera," she started.

"Not really a concern right now Bou," I deadpanned.

"And I noticed this lady in a dark cloak. She was arguing with herself and looking into her crystal ball. She was weird at first, but turned out to be really nice! All I did was wish her a happy Hearth's Warming and she started up a conversation with me. She was a very good listener! I thought she must have been a unicorn, since she was floating that crystal ball around her the whole time. I didn't think anything of it. So I sang a song about how important a cute-ceañera is for a pony, and after that we were going to the shopping area."

"Hang on, you sang a song?" I confirmed.

"Well, yeah!" Bou grinned. Treasure only nodded calmly. Apparently, this was normal.

Wait, I remember the show now. Yeah, that checks out.

"So anyway," Bou continued, "After some window shopping, the lady said she knew a shortcut so she was leading me into an alleyway. That's when Treasure came in all roaring and snarling. She scared the daylights out of both of us! I thought it was great, but the weird lady didn't think so I guess. She shot into the air and started shooting all these magic lasers from her crystal ball!"

"That's when-" Treasure started but I turned back to her swiftly and cut her off.

"No!" I shouted at her with a hoof pointed, "I asked Bou to start. Let her finish." The dragon was silent. She lowered her head again and we both looked to Bou for her to continue.

Bou, though, just looked between us and smiled sheepishly, "Actually, I'm finished."

"Oh..." I slowly turned back to the other one, "Alright, Treasure. Now you tell me what happened."

The dragon locked her lime-green eyes to me and raised her head back up, "You had told me that you wish for you and Bou to be safe, and that you release me."

Bou's eyes locked onto me as well. This was the first time her glare actually seemed like a glare, and it scared me a little.

"So I went off in search of Bou, to ensure she was safe," Treasure continued, "I eventually spotted her, and a stranger was leading her into an alley. I saw the sun shine from the knife they were pulling behind their back and I jumped in to defend." Bou's ears turned down, somehow looking even more incredulous.

"So she was going to hurt Bou?" I asked to clarify.

Treasure nodded, "There is no other way I could have interpreted it, my king. She was readying to strike while Bou's back was turned."

Bou seemed pale, "But why?" Her ears had turned down.

I wasn't happy with this information either. But despite my words, despite my feelings towards her, this dragon protected my friend. I couldn't deny that. "Treasure... You did good. Thank you." Treasure looked genuinely pleased to be praised.

"Yes, thank you! Thank you so much, Treasure!" Bou floated higher to meet Treasure's eyes. Though Treasure only spared her a glance and a nod.

"What happened next?" I asked Treasure to continue.

"That's when the chase began, my king," the dragon explained, "You pretty much know the rest. Whatever magic she is using, it can do things to living flesh. You saw what use she made of those rats." I didn't want to think about those rats.

"But she got you with a few of those spells, Treasure," Bou was looking the dragon over for any sign of damage.

The dragon nodded, "It penetrated my scales. Those spots where she struck me are trying to twist themselves on the inside." I winced at that. It sounded like she was in a lot of pain but wasn't showing it.

"Why did all of this happen?" I voiced the obvious question to the both of them. The girls looked at each other, unable to bring a sure answer. "Bou, you actually talked to her. Can you tell me anything more? Details?"

The reindeer floated back and forth while looking down at her dangling hooves. She seemed to be concentrating. "Well, let's see. I was passing by a school when we met. I noticed her because I had never met anyone with two scents of fear. She was kinda just hanging around the outside of the school for some reason. Like I said, she was arguing with herself while looking at her crystal ball. I wished her a happy Hearth's Warming and she started walking alongside me. She asked what a little reindeer like me was doing out here, I told her I was getting ready for a friend's cute-ceañera. She seemed interested. Asked about what classes I like. I told her I haven't played Ogres & Oubliettes in a while. Honestly, she had this very gentle and patient demeanor when talking to me. It was really easy to- Oh goodness, she thought I was a child."

Both Bou and I allowed our hoof to meet our face in exasperation. "A grown doe indeed," I groaned.

"Oh. Are you... not a child?" The dragon sounded genuinely surprised.

"No!" Bou immediately defended, "I. Am. An adult! I'm just small!"

Treasure looked Bou up and down, "So... What are you? His bride?"

"No!" Bou and I both shouted.

Treasure tilted her head, "...Concubine?"

"No!" We both repeated.

Treasure narrowed her eyes to scrutinize her petite companion, "...Well, young lady. If you're a fellow servant to my king, your manner speaks to a lack-"

"She's not any of those things!" I interrupted, "And it's not important right now! What's important is that there's a crazy witch out in that town who is looking to slice up some kids!"

"Yeah!" Bou agreed both with the point and with the change in topic, "But we're the only ones who know."

"Argh, what to do...?" I dug a hoof into the dirt under the snow.

"Give the word, and I'll hunt her down," Treasure offered. Both Bou and I stared up at her in bewilderment. She looked me right in the eyes, "My king... Those rats were still alive when that magic changed them. What if she can do the same thing to you?" That warning made my heart sink. "You do not need to put yourself in harm's way."

I looked over at Bou, she looked back at me. We were both worried for the dragon that had already gotten hurt trying to stop this evil pony.

"Maybe it's hopeless. I mean, where would we even start looking?" I asked.

Bou's face snapped into a manic grin, "Oh, I know!" She pulled a wadded up piece of paper out of her neck floof, "Here, here!" She seemed to bounce on thin air while she floated it over to me to examine.

I squinted at the paper. As I had thought, it was the same ad for the Tween Frame cute-ceañera that I had seen at Sort By Rarity. It was some rich kid's party. There was a shot, but I was skeptical. "What? No way it's that. We're not going to that!" With every word I got in, Bou only nodded her head faster.

"That's the paper that the sorceress read before she vanished from the streets, my king," Treasure chimed in, "I can confirm that she knows about the event and is likely to strike there next."

I growled and turned away from the flier in frustration, "God damn it!"

"It's happening tonight on the top floor of One Tall Centre," Bou had brought it back over to herself to read it over once more. Her eyes turned up to view the Vanhoover skyline in the distance and she pointed her hoof out, "I'm betting it's that building right there. The building in the center that's the tall one!"

"Thanks, Agatha Creepy!"

"My king, if it is your will..." Treasure was raising herself to a standing position and looking out to where Bou was pointing.

I had made up my mind. I trotted over to the dragon and called up to her, "Treasure, no!" She seemed to heed my voice and she lowered herself back down, "Every authority in the city is going to be looking for a big, white dragon. Plus, you've already done plenty. You kept Bou and I safe. I... I thank you for that," I put my hoof on her snout, "I can still do something. I'll handle it." Treasure smiled at me again, only answering with a slight nod. I turned from her and looked out at the city where I was going to go find an evil sorceress. "I want you to stay here and watch that rooftop. If things look like they're getting real bad, get over there as soon as you can."

"We're going to a cute-ceañera!" Bou cheered. "Treasure, my large chest, please!" The dragon complied. She unhooked the large chest from around her neck and lowered it onto a flatbed trailer nearby.

"'We?'" My voice dripped with skepticism, "She was already going to gut you in a back alley!"

Bou hopped up on the flatbed and flipped her large chest open before turning back to answer me, "And I'm not about to let that happen to someone else! Besides, I got a plan!"

The night was clear, the stars and the moon in full view. Bou and I were in the elevator riding to the top of One Tall Centre in our disguises. I brought my hoof up to mess with the bun that my mane had been tied into.

"Don't ruin your mane! And remember to stay in character until we know what she's up to," Bou scolded me.

"I'm not worried about staying in character. Not worried at all," I assured the reindeer disguised as a changeling, "I'm just not happy about it either."

The elevator door opened with a ding. That little sound was drowned out by the rabble and chatter at this penthouse party. Creatures from all over town, young and old, were dressed up for the occasion.

"Welcome!" A unicorn stallion approached us, "Please, help yourself to refreshments! Little Tween Frame is so happy that you could make it!"

"And why wouldn't she be? It's only a party once Zephyr Breeze arrives!" I extended my hoof to meet his, "Are you here to take our coats, good sir?"

The unicorn raised a brow at me. Somehow, the grip of his hoof was quickly becoming unbearable, "I'm Public Works. The mayor. I helped organize this cute-ceañera for my daughter."

'Perfect. I'm playing this character like a fucking boss,' I thought to myself while grinning through the pain. "Oh, wonderful. Say hello, Phoba."

"Hiya, Mister!" Bou hobbled over on three legs and smiled sweetly, "I'd shake your hoof too, but I'd rather keep this one."

"Oh! Well met, little one," Public Works smiled politely at who, as far as he knew, was a crippled child, "And happy Hearth's Warming!"

I knew Bou didn't have to act to return season's greetings so enthusiastically. "Happy Hearth Warming, Mister Works! Mister Breeze sure was nice to take me to this party."

"What can I say? When the School of Friendship needs volunteers to help less fortunate changelings, who am I to turn down the chance to make a difference?" I elaborated maybe a little too much.

"Well, feel free to mingle while you're here. You won't find another town like Vanhoover and its fine ponies!" Public Works invited us in, "The premiere will be out on the rooftop deck. Creatures who can fly will find cloud seats available."

We both smiled a bit too widely as we made our way in and broke eye contact with the mayor. I immediately lowered by head to growl a whisper into Bou's ear. "Don't you think the crippled child angle is a bit too conspicuous? Why are we even in disguise?"

Bou charged her magic up and turned my head out to the rooftop deck, "That's why!" I spotted pegasus police officers flying by on patrol, keeping a watchful eye on the city below and the sky above. "Like you said, they're on the lookout for a dragon," she whispered back, "I was seen with Treasure! So were you!"

"So was the sorceress," I whispered back, "That means that if she's here, she'll be in disguise too. Right?"

The tiny changeling nodded, "We can cover more ground if we split up. I'll mingle with the other kids here and keep an eye on them. But I'm pretty sure she'll target the filly of honor."

"Don't scare them too much. I'll talk to the adults and see if I can find anything. Do my wings look real enough?" I was about to go off after 'Phoba' gave the affirmative. She tugged on my coattails before I got too far.

"Happy cute-ceañera, everypony!" My companion shouted to the room, much to my immediate panic.

"Happy cute-ceañera!" So many voiced called back, glasses raised into the air.

I gave the biggest, fakest, most-nervous smile my new pony face has ever had to muster and I raised my hoof in kind. "Ha ha, yeah... Happy... cute-ceañera."

"That was meant for you, not that they know that," Bou sing-songed in my ear.

"Y-yeah, I figured..." I held my fake smile, for my sake and for Bou's, before we went our separate ways into the crowds. I composed myself. It wouldn't be in-character for me to be capable of embarrassment.

Okay, improv time. What would Zephyr Breeze do? I found some ponies discussing current affairs around a champagne fountain. Though from the color and consistency, I was betting it was actually an apple cider fountain. I had to admit, it was a pretty fancy setup. I really was starting to thirst just from the sight of it. No, that wouldn't do. There are more pressing matters. But the whole thing does give me an idea. "Oh, my goodness. This is the finest... tablecloth I've ever seen!" A lot of the guests had taken notice of my play of flamboyance. "I have to know who organized this little shindig! Their color coordination could give even an aesthetic genius like myself a run for his money!" Bou had dressed me up in some formal wear that was probably better-looking than what the actual Zephyr Breeze would have worn to this party. A unicorn and an earth pony at the table both gave me a deadpan look and pointed their hooves to the other side of the room. From that direction, it wasn't hard to spot a unicorn mare with a done-up mane and a dress that looked like it would cost half of Treasure's hoard. Bingo. She was levitating a plate of food across the floor. "Hello! You must be Tween Frame's mother!"

She turned her head towards me and smiled, but her dress caught on the step down from the dining area and she lost her footing. I acted quickly, and caught her before she took a dive onto her plate. She huffed a sigh of relief and took my hoof to help her regain stability. The plate floated higher in her magical grip. "Oh, thank you."

I noticed that she had narrowly avoided the ketchup-smothered hot dog that she carried on the plate, "It wouldn't do to get red on you."

"Indeed," she gave a light giggle, "I can't imagine anything worse that could happen tonight. This is bespoke from Sort By Rarity. One of their finest since they opened." I could think of worse things. But I played along.

"It would certainly be the wurst, Miss..." I trailed off, prompting her to introduce herself.

She gracefully went from holding onto my hoof to pull herself up to shaking it politely in greeting, "Missus Magic Eye. Well met. And you're Zephyr Breeze, if I'm not mistaken. How's the west coast treating you?"

"O-oh! Haaaa, you know me!" I couldn't help but stammer. This was unexpected. Since when did this jackass have a reputation!?

Magic Eye maintained eye contact from underneath that dark, formal eyeshadow. "I make a point to know everypony of some importance if I can. That's showbiz, after all. It doesn't matter if the magic pictures are live ponies or animations, silent or talkies, or if they're in full color. It's about who you know and what you can do," she explained, "So of course I'm aware of the brother of one of Equestria's greatest heroes." Not aware enough to tell him from an imposter, I thought to myself. But at least that makes sense.

"Oh? You're a part of the movies, huh?" I rubbed my chin with genuine interest, "What exactly do you do?"

"Ugh, that's right. The common folk have taken to calling them that, haven't they?" She puffed out her chest a little, clearly proud of her work if not a bit of a braggart, "Why, I own and operate all the equipment that will be used for the premiere tonight. You see that screen outside? Well the storage space above us has been cleared enough to serve as a projector room."

"Right, right!" I nodded, looking out to the deck where the big screen was strung up on the open air by some magical means. "I'm guessing what you have must be state-of-the-art! Perfect for Tween Frame's big night, huh?"

Magic Eye's enthusiasm was ever present. Her tone sounded less boastful, more genuine, "My little Tween Frame is blossoming into her talent as a cartoonist and I want to give her every opportunity to succeed. I was actually on my way to bring her this food," she nodded towards a door at the wall we were facing, "She should be up there right now with that eccentric mare from the Magic Picture Association."

Now we were getting somewhere. "Say, this mare, did she happen to have strange, purple eyes?" I leaned in for the answer. If that sorceress was already with the child, I had to move fast.

"It was hard to tell behind those sunglasses. Why?"

I snatched the plate of food from the magical aura she was floating and gave my biggest grin, "Why yes, I'm actually her assistant tonight!" That might contradict my alibi with the father, but that shouldn't matter as long as I can protect the kid in time. "Don't you worry, Magic Eye. I'll bring Tween Frame this food and help finish the preparations." I turned and promptly slammed my nose into the door.

Magic Eye used her magic to turn the knob and open the way, "Well thank you, Zephyr Breeze. Be sure to tell her it's from me. I know she loves the extra catsup." I shook my head to set my eyes straight and gave her my biggest grin one more time before leaving up the stairs.

"Ponies flock and herd, they hang on your word, you entertain and bring them joy..."

What the hell was that? What was I hearing?

"Across the land, your name it lights! You'll be above the wrongs and rights! The decision isn't hard, no need to be coy!"

It was singing. There was singing going on in here. Not only that, but a red glow was diffused throughout the dusty storage space. I crept up to the top of the stairs and peeked.

"Your wishes will come true, this opportunity is a steal! This is how we close a deal!"

I knew it! It was the mare from before. She was singing to a little filly while her orb floated around them like a hornet on the attack.

The filly stepped forward. She had a very expensive-looking dress on as well, but it was cropped in such a way to show off her cutie mark. On her flank she had the image of a bottle of ink pouring onto film. "My daddy says it's worth the hard work and pain. To put my heart in my ink and entertain. Tonight I will show that it's not just my dream, but my destiny. But my mommy says I should discuss what you would have to gain?" My thoughts turned as I watched this play out through the wooden bars on the stair railing. This must be Tween Frame. The little cartoonist, and the sorceress' next victim. Why was she trying to manipulate the child?

The orb's glow changed from red to green, just like before. "Run before you're done! Hide to save your hide!" The sorceress continued into another verse, but her tone was completely different. The orb switched back to red, and she changed back to how she was singing before.

"Everything! I lost everything so long ago! But with the your blood, sweat and tears, but mostly blood, my new body will grow!"

The orb was green again, "Carna Regalia has been telling you lies! There are two ponies behind these eyes. You can not trust my words are real. I beg of you, child, just walk away! Do not let her have her way! There is no need to close a deal!" She pulled her sunglasses down in the middle of her rhymes, revealing the purple smoke-like tears that flowed endlessly from her evil eyes. Tween Frame seemed to flinch as she met her gaze.

Carna Regalia? Who was that?

The sunglasses were brought back up as the orb's glow went red once more. She turned away from Tween Frame and seemed to have an aside with herself, "A life for a life, the deal was clear. But you do not need to fear. There is no need for death. After all, my magic only works if she still draws breath." She spun back around, levitating a dagger from beneath her cloak. I wasted no time. I set the plate of food down and started to move again while she sung, "Child, do not pass this chance to make your future ideal. This custom is the way it's done in Applewood. All you have to do is sign with your blood and we'll be good. The MPA can build a career with this contract, made just for you. Your parents will be proud, you know this is true." That seemed to motivate Tween Frame, and she was reaching out to the dagger with a hoof. The dark mare wore a manic grin as she approached, the dagger raised, "This. Is. How. We. Close. A- Oof!"

"Aah!" Tween Frame cried out in surprise when I emerged from the darkness to tackle the sorceress with all of my body weight. Those sunglasses flew off somewhere under the projector table. The dagger was launched from the sorceress' magical aura after she lost concentration and it clattered to the floor.

The orb dropped to the floor as well, it filled the room with a green glow as it rolled towards us. The mare's eyes were shocked to see me trying to pin her, but she wasn't resisting. "You're the one from before..."

The room was red now, the orb had changed and it floated into the air again.

"The one who does not belong in his skin! Ragh!" Her expression turned to rage and the glass ball slammed into my side. I grunted in pain and rolled off of her.

"Tween Frame, go!" I shouted to the kid. The projector table, the boxes and crates along the wall, everything in the room that wasn't nailed down started to shimmer with an aura before moving to block the staircase. Tween Frame screamed and ducked her head to avoid the flying furniture. The projector wobbled precariously through the whole thing, and it finally fell over after settling on the pile of blockage. It knocked into operation, and the opposite side of the room was lit with a black-and-white rubber hose cartoon of a pony hoisting a cow onto a steamboat.

The mare's hooves were no longer touching the floor. Her flowing eyes glared at me while the crystal ball was orbiting around her body. The lop-sided movie that was over her and the wall behind her was flashing blood red every time the crystal ball passed in front of the projector's light. "You do not know with whom you trifle, strange one! Tonight, Equestria will bow to my restored power!"

I laughed, "Big words coming from a Halloween decoration," I stood up and got between the sorceress and the child. I knew Tween Frame was even more scared than I was.

"Who are you!?" Tween Frame whimpered. The poor kid was struggling to ignite her horn under the stress of the situation.

I looked back at her for just a moment, "Eh, just call me Zephyr Breeze. I won't let her-" My whole body I crumpled to the floor and Tween Frame screamed. A spell had been fired from the crystal ball and every muscle in my body felt like it was trying to scramble away from itself in different directions, like I was being torn apart from the inside out. I groaned in pain through a waking nightmare of full body cramps and spasms. Carna Regalia was in my face.

"Once I regain my full power, I will fold you into an origami swan," she floated higher to move passed me. I struggled to jerk my body into control, but in my desperation I was able to rear up and hook a foreleg around her neck to drag her back down.

"It's a TV-Y rating, you cunt!" I snarled through my agony.

"You fool!" The mare cried out as she rolled to the floor with me. We both growled at each other, and I could feel the pain ease from my muscles as I regained full control. I didn't think of where her magic was going, I only seized the desperate opportunity to swing my hoof across her face. As soon as I did, the crystal ball was practically touching my nose and its red glow was intensifying. "I despise letting good meat expire, but in your case I will make an exception."

"Oh fuck!" I dropped at the last second and a massive wave of energy shot at where my head just was. I could hear Tween Frame scream again, and the whole room shook as it blew the roof wide open. Commotion could be heard outside. Everycreature at the party knew there was something going on now.

"Unhoof me!" My head was pressed against the mare's belly after dodging her blast. She tried to wriggle out from under me while rubbing the bruise I had left on her cheek.

Moonlight filtered in as the dust parted. A small shape had appeared in the hole in the ceiling. "Riot?" It was Bou, still in her changeling disguise.

"Bou!" I called back to her, letting her know I was okay.

"Did you find the sorceress?" She called back with the dumbest question.

"Nah, the roof just does that sometimes. Bou, get the kid! She's down here!" A bolt of magic hit me in the chest and I tried to scream. My lungs wouldn't let me.

Bou's flew down and zoomed to the filly cowering over by her projector. Tween Frame whined in confusion when she saw the three-legged changeling. "Shh! You're okay, you're gonna be fine." Bou tried to comfort the terrified child, "We're here to help. Come on, get on my back. I can fly us out of here."

Tween Frame sucked up some courage and complied while the sorceress was getting to her hooves. "Wh-what about Zephyr Breeze?" She and Bou looked back over to me. I wheezed, struggling to fill my lungs after getting hit by that spell. Her magic was constricting my lungs. This wasn't good.

"I do not know what you are, but you can not fool the Queen of Flesh and Bone with that shape!" Her boasting seemed like a good opportunity to strike. I tried knocking the crystal ball out of the air with another punch, it punched back and knocked me across the floor. I was on my side now, my fake wings were barely hanging on by their wires. I silently groaned against the magically-induced asthma attack. My head was getting lighter, my nostrils flared. I smelled ketchup.

Bou didn't waste any time. She soared towards the hole in the ceiling. The mare's eyes turned to them. "I will have the child! Her young blood will be merged with my being and I will be born anew!" Another blast was building from the crystal ball and it fired. Both of them screamed as Bou's head and forelegs were struck by the magic attack. Tween Frame was held in the moonlight by Carna Regalia's magic while Bou fell the ground. She was hurt, but it seemed that her disguise took the brunt of the damage. What was left of it sagged around her waist like a pair of trousers.

The wall opposite of them still showed the cartoon playing from the projector. The crystal ball painted a big, red circle across the moving image, and in that circle was the shadow cast by Tween Frame hanging in the air. The shadow of a dagger flew into the scene, ready to strike. "Everypony, every body in Equestria will be mine once again!" The dagger thrust forward.

SPLACK!

Tween Frame cried out as she was splattered in red. The knife was buried in the middle of a hot dog, now flying into the corner of the room. Tears streamed down the little girl's eyes when she looked down at the crimson splatter on her dress. The sorceress paused, her head turned at where the foreign object had come from. My hoof was shaking as I lifted it from the plate I had set down earlier.

"You imbecile!" She cried out with a crazed grin, "You thought you could stop me with a haydog? The girl's essence is mine!" The crystal ball rose between the sorceress and Tween Frame. Poor Tween Frame shrieked in terror as the red fluid on her dress started flowing towards the orb, like a river of blood through the air. "Yes! I can feel the change!" The sorceress' eyes glowed, and the voice was coming from the orb now instead of her mouth. "New tissue transmuting from her essence! Carna Regalia has retu-"

In the blink of an eye, the crystal ball turned into a tomato.

I gasped for air. I could breath again. Her magic was completely gone. I only considered that for a second before diving to catch Tween Frame from falling. We rolled once, but I held her close. "Are you okay, kid?"

She looked up at me, still clearly scared and confused. She sniffled, "My dress is ruined..." We both looked down at the ketchup stain, "It was from Sort By Rarity. My mom is gonna be real mad."

"There are worse things, kid." I gave her a smile before putting her down on her own hooves.

The tomato hit the floor with a bounce. I looked up and saw the sorceress sitting there, her eyes were locked on the tomato while she cycled through several emotions. "She's gone..." She put her hooves up to her head, eyes moving back at forth, "I can't hear her anymore. She's actually gone." The projector reel ended, now only casting a still, warm light.

"Bou?" I called out to the other side of the room that was mostly decorated in broken-ceiling debris. "Bou, are you okay!?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Somehow..." Bou groaned, pulling herself up from behind some wooden beams. Her eyes were rolling in different directions, "I'm starting to think I took Ho-ho-honnesberg for granted."

The sorceress looked over at the reindeer, astonished. "Oh. That changeling face wasn't your actual flesh. So that's why you're alive." She muttered.

"Hey! Carna Regalia!" I barked at the mare. She turned her wide eyes to me as I picked the tomato up from the floor.

"I'm Olive Branch. Carna Regalia is dead."

"Whatever. Can you cast magic without the thing?" She slowly shook her head, still seeming only partially lucid. "Good."

SPLAT!

I threw the tomato. Its red juices splattered all over her face and neck. She closed her eyes on impact, but other than that she barely flinched. She stared at me, and I scowled back. A silence hung between everyone in the room.

Ears twitched as the panicked commotion outside heightened. Ponies screamed and flying creatures blew passed the hole in the ceiling in a rush. "What's going on?" Tween Frame begged. Bou and I looked at each other, knowing what came next.

The whole building shook as the weight of a dragon settled on the roof. The beats of Treasure's wings kicked up the dust in the room and she gave a ferocious roar when she stuck her enormous head inside. Everyone folded their ears back by reflex. It was loud enough to drown out Tween Frame's startled scream. I held her against me, trying to keep her calm. I watched as Treasure spotted the foe and lunged her neck forward with a deep, rumbling growl. The sorceress looked up at the crushing fangs coming down on her for a moment, then just hung her head in acceptance.

"No!" I called out to the dragon. She halted without question.

"Why not!?" The sorceress picked her head up and shouted at me. She was furious. "I let something terrible happen tonight! It's all I've ever done! Just let me die!" There were tears in her voice, but only the purple smoke flowed down from her eyes. Bou was visibly wincing at her words and her tone.

I raised an eyebrow, "You're disarmed and I don't have the full story yet. Sorry, spooky-eyes. No easy out yet."

"Her eyes aren't that spooky..." Bou grouched with her face scrunched up.

Sirens in the distance now, all ears in the room perked back up. Treasure lifted her head from the hole in the ceiling to look at what was presumably a police force on approach. I turned back to the pony who called herself Olive Branch. "What happens if I leave you here for the authorities?"

She wore a scowl to match mine now, our eyes were locked on each other. "Then I will do whatever I must to have them kill me."

"Fuck that. Bou, get the cuffs, please." Bou floated over to her large chest strapped around Treasure's neck. Treasure made no fuss while the reindeer opened her stash. The anti-magic bindings that Cool Cat Freckles' henchman had used against us before were fished up.

"They're coming, my king." Treasure warned as the sirens got closer.

"Grab her and lock her up," I instructed. Treasure reached down with her neck to hold the disarmed sorceress between her teeth. She hung there, hooves dangling while Bou strapped the shackles together. Their anti-magic properties kicked in as soon as the latch completed the etchings around the metal.

I turned back to the kid, "Help is on the way. You be sure to tell them you're safe. Also, make sure you tell them that Zephyr Breeze saved you, and nothing else happened. I don't know if anyone will believe you..." I realized just how tall of a tale this would be for anyone who knew the guy I was disguised as. "But can you do that for me, Tween Frame?" She nodded, still clinging to me. I reached up to rub her head with my hoof. "Good. Happy cute-ceañera. Sorry it didn't go as planned."

Treasure was urgent, "We should go now. They will be ready for a dragon this time."

I let the child go and trotted over. I swallowed my own hesitation as she picked me up in her mouth again. She tossed me up and I cried out and flailed my hooves in the air before belly-flopping on her back between the spines. "Oof! Okay, cheese it!"

"We must fly with haste, my king!" Treasure warned, pumping her giant wings to rise from the highest roof in the city.

"That means... Oh, no! Not again!" I wailed as she dove from the skyscraper like she had from the mountaintop before. Another rollercoaster from hell. Bou screeched with delight. Olive Branch was dead quiet, even while she dangled by the forelegs that were bound and chained to one of Treasure's spines.

Treasure adjusted her angle. Gravity had done all the work to build up her speed and now her wings carried us out of town for a clean getaway.

Treasure had climbed to a higher altitude, her wings spread wide to coast further South. Each of us coming down from from the night's incident.

"...I am never wearing a man-bun again," I finally said something.

"We made it to Equestria, at least!" Bou's chipper voice tried to help the easing tension.

"That's true. Maybe I'm one step closer to getting home."

Olive Branch burst out into laughter. It was the first sound she had made since we detained her, and it seemed to catch both of us off guard.

"What did you say to make her laugh, Riot?"

Her laughing halted in a very abrupt and unsettling way. She tilted her head back and towards me, those eyes trailing dark magic through the air. "How is something like you possibly from Equestria?"

"What is she talking about?"

"Ah, well... I think some explanations are owed," I turned my head down, avoiding the purple and orange glares on me. "If I'm getting home in time for Christmas, we might need portal magic or something."

"Okay, yeah. Definitely need an explanation here."

"Portal magic?" Olive Branch chimed in, "Tell me, have you ever heard of the Baleful Maelstrom?"