Outside I could hear the pounding of changeling drones rocketing down into the streets of Canterlot, everypony in the wedding room was staring at Chrysalis with fear, shock, and anger. Twilight, and her brother, who had quickly recovered from his shield spell being shattered by means of brute force, were glaring at Chrysalis with their horns ignited. Chrysalis was still laying on the ground, but had lifted her head up, even if it seemed like she was still kinda dazed by Twilight’s hit. I was still trying to get Chrysalis up and out of here.

In a flash, Princess Celestia stepped forward, talking about how foolish it was for Chrysalis to show herself and to ‘mind control’ me, before making a lunge. In a flash, Chrysalis got to her hooves, slid me underneath and behind her, and swung her horn to try and parry Celestia’s horn. The two locked horns for a moment, with Chrysalis seemingly gaining the upper hand while I just sat in shock. Where Celestia had just slammed down into, was where I was standing.

I almost died.

Shining Armor ran in to try and help his Princess and Twilight and her friends had ran off in order to retrieve something called the Elements of Harmony. Hell, even Cadance broke into the wedding room, in her wedding dress surprisingly, and… Me and Chrysalis were cornered. With a growl, Chrysalis quickly hopped over, and almost landed on top of me. A green shield quickly blocked three spells and actually withheld the blow…

Not very well, but it withstood a hit from Celestia.

“Fruit, on the count of three, I want you to run out of the castle and have one of my drones retrieve you. I may be filled with all the love you’ve been giving me, but even I cannot withstand two alicorns, a rather strong unicorn, and the Elements of Harmony all at once. I am going to die… And you will as well if you do not flee. Tell Pharynx he shall-”

A spell broke through the shield and struck both Chrysalis, sending her right into me, and we rapidly skidded towards the wall. A split second before Chrysalis got knocked out, she grabbed me in her legs as we both got slammed into the wall. I was breathing heavily, holding my head with one hoof and holding Chrysalis with the other three.

Chrysalis was knocked out and had cushioned my impact… Chrysalis, you stupid, stupid bug! You just stopped me from getting crushed! You know what, you pony motherfuckers, if there is one thing you don’t do, it is make a human angry.

“Hey!” I jumped to my hooves, with the only thing that’s keeping me from shivering in fear is the adrenaline coursing through my veins. All three of our attackers didn’t let their guard down, but kept staring at us. “Why the fuck, why the ever fresh, living hell are you three immediately attacking somebody for basically no reason? Chryssy ain’t a pony, so what? Celestia, I know you know what I actually am, and you let me roam the streets freely!”

“You don’t drain ponies for love-”

“So Chrysalis and her drones may have drained a few ponies in the past, but the point is, they definitely changed. Tell me, does draining a pony kill them?”

“No, a pony usually will recover from being drained in about a week,” Chrysalis coughed. I quickly took a glance at Chrysalis and my heart sank. Chrysalis’s carapace was cracked in a few places, her mane was a mess, and I could tell just how much pain she’s in. The smell of iron stung my nose while I nuzzled her.

Celly, if we weren’t friends, I would’ve attempted to murder you by now.

“However, mine, and my Hive’s relationship with Equestria isn’t all daisies and blossoms, Fruit. This is partially why. Ponies see something similar, but very different from them, and they immediately hate and fear that thing.” Chrysalis said, holding me rather tightly... She was as scared as I was about the whole situation even if she was better at hiding it than I am.

“You drained ponies until they could barely function, and it took a full week of laying in bed to recover!” Celestia argued.

“And Chrysalis fucking changed, you fuckin’ bitch! While I can’t prove that I’m not being mind controlled, look at me. Take a good look, because I’m mostly unscathed,” aside from you bastards slamming my girlfriend into me. “If Chrysalis wanted or needed the power to kill all three you asshats, and everyone in this room for that matter, I would’ve gotten drained immediately. On top of that, Chrysalis has gone out of her way to keep me safe during this whole engagement. Chrysalis thinks of me as something more than a food source, your Royal, Fucking Highness. And for this whole invasion-”

“So where’s the wedding?” Sixteen drones asked simultaneously as they crashed through the windows, one of which I recognized right off the bat. Thorax hopped and skipped over to me, along with the other drones and stopped at the sight of their Queen.

“What’s going on here? We thought our Queen was hosting her wedding in Canterlot!” Thorax asked innocently. The other drones weren’t so happy about seeing their Queen being a battered, bloody mess on the floor.

“Guys, why did you invade Canterlot?” I asked.

“We thought you and Chrysalis were getting married, and thought you didn’t invite all of us!” Thorax cocked his head. “But then when we arrived, Canterlot had a really impressive shield spell casted over it, like someling was trying to keep us out. We even sent a letter in advance to let the Princesses know that we weren’t coming to attack, we just wanted to attend the wedding. Heck, some of us found a pony to cuddle with while we waited for the wedding to start.”

Outside, Fluttershy was happily cuddling with two changelings at once, while her friends sat in shock. “Oh my goodness, these creatures sure are friendly,” she squealed when one of the changelings nuzzled into her cheek and dozed off.

“Fluttershy, those are monsters!” Twilight shouted.

“They aren’t monsters, Twilight. Like any creature, they just want to be loved,” Fluttershy said with a small little smile. The other drone that had claimed the shy, little pegasus had licked the mare’s face like a puppy, and the pegasus giggled. “See? Whatever these guys are, they aren’t too bad!”

Twilight couldn’t believe this! How could Fluttershy be so easily won over? How... is that oddly adorable. Twilight hummed, wondering about the benefits of securing a changeling to cuddle with.

She’ll just have to test it out... for science of course!

Everyone in the room just stared at Thorax the whole time, mostly the Princesses, until Chrysalis started laughing like an idiot.

“Well that would explain why the entire Hive is here!” She sat up with a groan. “Princess Celestia, I know you and I do not have the most… smooth past, especially when I dumped you AND Luna after three months of dating nearly a thousand and six hundred years ago, but we can end this without any more bloodshed. I can remove myself, my Hive, and my coltfriend from Canterlot at the drop of a hat, and we can chat shortly after today.”

“Or,” I butted in. “Can we negotiate some kinda peace?” I cocked my head. “I mean, Chryssy, you, and Luna were having a threesome at some point. So clearly we can all get along, right?”

Celestia stared at me with half lidded eyes. “Fruit, we are in public…” a smile threatened to break her public mask. “But I suppose we can work towards some sort of peace treaty.”

“Good. Because I would like to keep my friends AND my marefriend, your highness,” I trotted over to Chryssy and nuzzled into her. “Can we get Chrysalis to a hospital first? I’m no doctor, but I don’t think Chryssy should be bleeding, or have her carapace cracked in several places. And I dunno if you’ve noticed, Celly, but I would like to not see Chrysalis in pain. I’m only dating her and stuff.”

“Treating my wounds does place pretty high up on my priority list, but first, I must know if any of my drones-”

“Your Highness!” Pharynx crashed through the ceiling, because I guess using doors is overrated. “Just about every drone has secured a pony,” Pharynx glared at me. “And decided they wanted to test the benefits of cuddling said ponies.”

Fluttershy has secured sixteen changelings.

“So noling aside from Chrysalis is hurt?” Chrysalis had long since laid her head down to get some rest, using me as a nice, pony shaped pillow.

“No, thankfully.”

Well, guess I’m stuck here until somebody moves Chrysalis.

“C’mon, you big bug, let’s get you to a hospital,” Shining Armor said, lighting his horn. Without hesitation, I slid out from Chryssy’s unconscious grasps, and got in between him and my marefriend.

“Hold it, bucko,” I stepped in between my Chryssy and Shining Armor. I didn’t trust this fucker, and my head hurt.

“I need to be able to get to Queen Chrysalis-“

“And I want you to promise you will not lay a hoof on Chrysalis, cast anything other than levitation on her, and make sure she is treated well,” I hummed for a moment. The captain nodded. “Good. You break that promise, and I will know if you do, I will personally find out where the fuck you live, and castrate you. And I will make sure you’re conscious throughout the whole process, start to finish. Got it, Shining Armor? You will know nothing but pain.”

Shining Armor backed up for a moment, keeping that confident, captain mask he’s wearing. “I-I don’t think you’re in a-any position to make any threats, Fruit. I can let Chrysalis bleed out.”

“Shiny, don’t argue with that stallion… I can tell just how much Fruit, for whatever reason, loves Queen Chrysalis,” Cadance chimed in.

“Fruit Punch!” I turned to see six droves all carrying Chrysalis with their horns lit. “We have the Queen, would you like to accompany us to the hospital?” Pharynx asked.

“You’re-“

“You’re the Queen’s play thing. She’ll likely request to see you even if she will be healed in the next hour and a half,” Pharynx stated. I blinked a couple times. “With how much love you’re feeding the Queen, she’ll be healed in an hour or so anyways. Changelings have a healing factor that only kicks in when they have high amounts of love, or in this case, a pony play thing that supplies said love.” The drone explained.

“Alright… I’ll come along,” a hoof tapped me on the shoulder.

“Fruit,” Shining Armor sighed. “Look, sorry about assaulting you and your marefriend friend, but for all I knew, a monster was mind controlling you and preparing to use my wedding to take over the kingdom.” Shining Armor’s ears flattened. “I know I would be pretty angry if somebody attacked Cadance out of nowhere.”

“I… I can forgive and forget. Remember though, if you hurt Chryssy at all in the future, I will make due on those threats my good sir. In fact, I’ll do that and then some... How are you feeling about listening to Saddleback?” That was the equivlelent of Nickelback in Equestria. Their music was actually really bad though, whereas nickelback was tollerable

“Don’t need to tell me twice!” Shining Armor backed away to hide behind Cadance, who was currently chatting with her aunt.

“I hope you know that I will be teaching you how to defend yourself,” Chrysalis said, now good as new, sipping on a cup of tea as we reentered the wedding room. “With how willing you are to fight for me, you may as well learn how to fight properly. I am going to be teaching you changeling martial arts as your magic isn’t up to par yet, and most changeling fighting does not rely on magic.”

“Fair. Would it be wise to also look into Earth Pony fighting techniques.”

“Perhaps. If you get good at magically augmenting your physical strength, then Earth Pony martial arts may serve you well,” we both took a seat. Now Chrysalis had a new dress, which more matched her natural form, and my suit was undusted. We were also in a brand new wedding room because all the windows in the other room were understandably broken. Turns out changelings, unless they’re Chryssy, just really don’t like using the front door.

“I would also look into guard training for defense if I were you. While your size makes you adorable, it is quite disadvantageous in a fight… guard training would be useful.” Chrysalis hummed. “I’m also assigning two guards to you. Then nothing will harm you, and if something does, it is because I already got killed.”

“I don’t like thinking about that. We both nearly got killed a couple of hours ago,” I shivered. “Had you not moved me when I did.”

“I know,” Chrysalis picked me up and held me closely. “Let us enjoy the wedding for now, and forget what transpired today, okay my dear?” I nodded. Chryssy cuddles were the best therapy; a step above changeling cuddles because I was actually cuddling a big changeling!

Now was a good time to mention that most of the changelings, after being told who the wedding was for, left. Leaving only a few to collect the love from the wedding.

And sixteen drones who had apparently taken a liking to Fluttershy, like two drones had been petted until they fell asleep by the mare, and it was kinda cute-

No, it was fucking adorable.

Okay, Royal Wedding done, Cadance and Shining made out, and now it’s time to party. Of course, because it’s a royal wedding, every snob was just standing around and idly chatting with each other about how rich they were. Most ponies in the room avoided myself and Chrysalis like the plague. Thorax was off somewhere, playing with Pinkie Pie, and everyone who wasn’t said drone was bored.

Aside from Fluttershy who was currently fawning over how a changeling managed to turn themself into a big, plush version of their natural form. How the fuck did Fluttershy manage to get sixteen drones to love her so quickly is beyond me, but I’m not complaining. I’m not jealous; I only want to hold a changeling right now because of how cute they are.

Pinkie got bored and pulled a DJ from the middle of nowhere and a nice little piano started playing from the vinyl record that had just started playing. Luna came in out of nowhere, asking if she missed anything. Up until her eyes fell on a very undisguised changeling and her eyes widened. “Chryssy! It hast been ages! Where hast thou been all this time?” Luna ran up and stole my marefriend, so that’s pretty cool, just as the song picked up into a more ‘party based’ song.

“Love is in bloom,” Twilight started singing, and what the heck. Are all ponies just randomly capable of singing and sounding good? Even my singing voice wasn’t terrible when my little musical happened. I’m so glad that Luna stole my girlfriend just as a dance was about to happen, because now the two of them were off in a corner giggling and chatting with the other like old friends… So why did Celestia try to assault Chryssy on sight?

Maybe friendship and harmony is all about murder, blood, and death. If so, then that was something my humanity can understand.

I walked up to the speaker system and was happy to know that my ears were properly violated by the sheer amount of bass being pumped out of the speakers at this current point and time. I grabbed a microphone and managed to find a piano off to the side because. So I set up my little thing and hummed. I tapped a key and… wow, this is just as easy to do without fingers than with fingers. Chrysalis and Luna had trotted over to my little corner and started watching me, as did everyone else in the room.

Oh, no pressure at all.

Well, there’s that stage fright cropping up, oh boy. I chuckled and started playing the only song I knew. Scared of dentists and the dark and what not, pretty girls, yadda, yadda yadda.

Despite everything in my body telling me to stop and jump out the nearest window, I stayed and played this stupid little song as Cadance and Shining Armor went off to… What will probably be their honeymoon, or if ponies are into doing things viking style, go home and have a sexy time. Either way, it didn’t matter since now the song was done. I started quietly laughing to myself as everyone in the room applauded, likely Twilight’s performance and her brother getting married to a Princess.

I hopped out of my chair and fell flat on my face. I go sleep now. I sleep so I no has heart attack. ‘Kay, g’night!

Everypony was wondering where Fluttershy went, but she was under a pile of changelings in the garden now. These bug horses were just hers now, and nobody was complaining.

Author's Note

And thus, The Royal Wedding comes to an end. If things didn’t end peacefully, Shining Armor would be getting castrated while being forced to listen to Photograph, but it’s off key.