The Universe Hates You Specifically

“Wo-oah there hoss. You alright?” an unhealthy sheen had overcome Onyx, and the usual pure white of his coat had yellowed a bit. Edgar gently shook him, tutting to himself. “If I was goin’ too fast, ya shoulda said somethin’!”

The unicorn’s eyes were set on the building ahead of him. Even before landing just outside the compound, he’d slowly been growing quiet, a sense of foreboding settling uncomfortably at the front of his mind.

“Uhh… Onyx? Buddy?” Onyx wanted to laugh at how quickly Edgar had decided they were friends, the passion with which he forced his naivete to become reality. But instead he wet his lips and spoke hoarsely. “There’s nopony outside.”

“Well, yeah- I mean hell, it has to be Last-Light soon, doesn’t it?” Edgar kept walking forward, not realising that Onyx had stopped. “I can’t imagine many people would wanna stay out this late.” Noticing at last that his companion had fallen behind, Edgar walked back and put an arm around him; forcing him forwards.

“I guess so.”

And then they reached the threshold.

The smell of fire was choking, a tempestuous inferno that threatened to wrest life away from anything it deemed to be fuel. But even beyond that was the sound. A collision of blades, valorous yells and terrified screams. The sound of panic, of struggle- a fierce battle was ongoing.

A siren cut over the top of everything else. It was a raid.

“Shit. I wasn’t here.” It came out as a whisper, harsh and short. “Shit!” Onyx broke off from Edgar and threw himself forwards in a headlong sprint, and it took a moment for the griffon to remember that he was, in actual fact, here to do his job.

Snapping himself out of it, he rifled through his satchel. Pushing Onyx’s housekeys to the side with a jangle, he rummaged around until he found his cap. As he donned the leather garment and lowered the goggles over his eyes, he sucked in a lungful of air, tasting the floating embers and letting them scorch his throat, his breath. With clarity found, he shot off after the shrinking figure of the unicorn he’d spent the last few hours getting closer to.

At least he hadn’t had to torture him. Whenever it had come to that, Sterling had always taken care of it without him, and Edgar wasn’t entirely sure if he was capable of causing so much pain.

~~~

Cray didn’t immediately follow Bea as she made her explosive exit from the room serving as her infirmary. Despite his experience, his venerable age, and his elevated status within their organisation; it really seemed like none of the other scholars listened to him- this latest catastrophe only served as yet more evidence of how much of a bad idea that was.

He began to hum a sorrowful tune as he limped over to the cabinets on the far side of the room.

It was, he supposed, ultimately his fault, for allowing Lady Beatrix such freedoms as a foal. Her abilities had far surpassed the understanding and capabilities of The School- and the onus for this lay solely upon his head. A tool should not be treated as a child, nor should it be allowed to think that it was anything more than something to be forged and used.

The song peaked as he threw open the cupboard doors on the left, and he launched into a new section; switching into a major key as his vocalisations grew more energetic. He continued his work, nearly lying flat on his stomach in order to better reach the things at the very back.

Beatrix, despite her near boundless potential, had never been a talented wizard- for that matter she struggled with all disciplines of magic… perhaps it was only natural that she would settle on defining herself by the least magical of them all. Witchery. Being an adept mage was not a requirement for becoming a witch, and in fact, it almost made things harder for an aspirant hagling.

With the bottom of the cabinet removed, he could extract the box from where he’d left it. The song trailed off into an ostinato, fading as it slowed down.

The destructive heat that had consumed his old student was not a result of her magic, although she was certainly the one that had caused the unidentified spell to ignite. Basic “unicorn” magic is a product of emotion and willpower- the excessive power that must have been pooling up inside her had clearly catalysed something else. A curse? Some kind of hex? Whatever it was, it had clearly been designed without care for her wellbeing.

The song came to a close, the last note remaining unresolved. He opened the box and retrieved his fiddle.

Now, equipped and ready for battle, he walked out after her, following the trails of melted stone and scorched wood.

Echoing down the corridor, the warning alarm had been raised- although the unicorn on guard had gotten it wrong; the threat was internal, not external, although it hardly mattered at this point in time.

As the bow struck at the strings, a new verse began.

~~~

As Onyx rounded yet another corner and spotted a group of his brethren engaged in battle with a trio decked out in the armour of the Solar Guard. Dimly aware of Edgar’s presence, he hissed under his breath at the griffon shadowing him, “What are you still doing here? Get yourself OUT, before the guard spots you!”

Onyx shoved at his friend with all his might, failing to make him take even a single step back. Edgar was standing at his full height, and as Onyx took stock of him, he was brought back to where he had been hours earlier, when he first encountered him. The griffon was honestly terrifying, a veritable wall of strength. The dark tint of his goggles gave him an almost insectoid appearance, and the only remaining sign of his usual goofy personality were the straps that he had neglected to fasten round his chin, flapping wildly with each movement.

Edgar walked directly forward, into the midst of the melee, and stood in-between the unicorns and the elite soldiers, turning himself ninety degrees to face the latter. “You. State your name and rank.” The visored face of the pony in front of him bore no recognition as they raised their sword up, readying themselves to chop at this unarmed interloper.

The attack, at the very least, would have cut deep into Edgar’s right shoulder- had he not stepped forward and grabbed the pony’s elbow and twisted them round into an armlock, stopping their attack before their sword even began its downward arc, and then disarming them.

Onyx’s jaw dropped, and his thoughts were divided- half of him debating on whether or not it had been a good idea to bring this stranger to their sanctum, and the other half, embarrassingly enough, was dominated by the rather redundant statement “wow he’s strong.”

“Yer name and rank, soldier. Now.” Edgar’s tone could have easily shattered through the gleaming armour of the pony he had at his mercy. The fighting had come to a temporary stop as both sides warily eyed the newcomer. Edgar leaned forward and hissed at the pony, “Further insubordination’ll see you thrown on yer ass, right quick.”

Standing off to the side of the confrontation Onyx couldn’t believe his ears. “What...?” he stared on in horror, voicing the question so quietly that it was completely lost under the noise of the ongoing battles.

Coughing violently, the soldier gave in to the pressure, “Prudent Tempo.” his voice was strained from exertion and pain, but a certain coolness still cut through. Edgar released him and spun him around, gesturing for him to continue. Begrudgingly, the gold-plated stallion looked around at his comrades. Receiving no counsel from them, Tempo grumbled as he removed his helmet and saluted. “Solar Guard, Captain of the Third Company.”

“A captain, eh? Heh. Figured as much.” The soldiers were massive brutes, but next to the hulking griffon, even they appeared childlike. Edgar turned to face the unicorn fighters, still not sure what to make of his appearance. His gaze passed over them and he grunted as he spoke to the captain without turning. “You used to fighting against kids, soldier?” He spat the last word out with an intense venom.

Tempo furrowed his brow, features morphing into an indignant snarl. “You dare? We ar-”

Edgar’s voice was cold, betraying no emotion. “You’re murdering children, innocents and the defenceless. Why?”

“We have direct orders!”

“What orders?”

A mutter rose among the assembled guards. Edgar silenced them, holding up a single talon. “To slaughter ponies that aren’t doing anythang wrong? To unknowingly raise yer sword against a superior officer, without even thinking to check his identity?”

The captain surged forwards. “But they are Witches!”

Edgar struck him across the face, and the semi-circle of guards hefted their assorted weapons in response, willing but hesitant to attack. He looked around at the guards, surveying the emotionless metal of their helmets, taking note of their stances. “No one here is better acquainted with Witches than I- save perhaps for the actual Witches that’re surroundin’ us,” he turned his head to the side just enough to give a respectful nod to the unicorns behind him. Onyx tried to catch his eye, but Edgar refused to look at him.

“As the acting-Witchfinder General, I find it mighty peculiar that I’ve never ‘eard of any orders of the sort. This kind a’ violence is barbaric- heck, it’s downright repulsive. To follow such commands without question or protest is a disgrace to the nation that you serve.”

Everybody in the room was shocked by the revelation.

“Witchfinder General?”

“Damn! He’s even worse than they are!”

“A... griffon? He can’t be… can he?”

Tears welled up in Onyx’s eyes.

Edgar cleared his throat, and despite the mixed responses, the room fell mostly silent. “Captain. How many troops are involved in this raid?”

“About thirty in total under my command. The Captain of the Fourth commands another similarly sized group.”

“Rally yer forces, and prepare ‘em to leave,” he moved to address one of the oldest unicorns in the group of fighters. “You. Take a couple of the strongest ponies you got here and escort them, so all of ya friends know that their surrender is genuine.”

“Surrender?! This is an outrage! I a-” Tempo’s outburst fell flat as Edgar loomed above him, unblinking.

“Buddy.” He poked at the captain’s chest with a talon. “If you don’t do as you are commanded, I will take it into my own claws, y’understand?” With that single digit, he pushed the soldier backwards and onto the floor. “Dismissed.” He walked off, not bothering to check whether his point had gotten through.

Crossing back to where Onyx was still standing slack jawed, Edgar clapped the unicorn on the back. “Come with me, we shall deal with the remaining issue.”

As soon as they had broken the Solar Guard’s line of sight, Edgar grabbed Onyx by the shoulders and rushed the two of them into an empty room. A few moments passed, and the relative silence remained. The fighting, at least here, had stopped.

Edgar wiped some imaginary sweat off his brow. “Phew. Ho-ly shit.I can’t believe they really bought into that. I mean- wow- what if they hadn’t?”

Onyx slapped him.

Edgar gingerly raised a claw to his cheek. It might not have hurt him physically, but it was still a shock. He settled himself down next to the snow-coloured unicorn. Onyx was crying; rivers of wetness streaking down his face and off his chin. “Aww, shucks.” Cradling Onyx’s chin with one claw, he used the other to wipe away his tears. “Hey now, big guy… M’sorry, ok? Please dun’t cry anymore.” He brought the smaller stallion in for an embrace, and as his face closed in, Onyx gently closed his eyes, pursing his lips slightly. He could smell Edgar- his heavy scent; like cedar trees and the sweetness of apples, and he could feel his breath; hot on his face.

Edgar pulled him in for a bro-hug, and Onyx was filled with the simultaneous disappointment of unrequited attraction and the silent joy that his friend- his best friend, really was just a weird goofball with a country accent. Also, he might act as an enforcer for the regime that arbitrarily persecutes ponies, simply because of what they are, but the jury was still out on that matter, and it wasn’t like Edgar was going around burning ponies at the stake.

Patting him heavily on the back, Edgar chuckled kindly. “Alrighty. Chin-up, mmkay? After all...” He stood, pulling Onyx to his hooves in front of him. “I am gonna need yer help for this next bit.”