The Universe Hates You Specifically

Beatrix honestly struggled to remember the last time she’d had a friend like Luna. She’d been having such a great time, but it was inevitable that she would have to leave.

She waited for Luna to finish her mouthful of pancakes before starting. “So-” Immediately, she stopped herself and tried again. “Wow, we really need to find a better way to start conversations than just saying ‘so’ and hoping that it goes somewhere.”

“I’m quite fond of it actually” Luna mused, before returning to her plate and continuing to devour yet another pancake. She had started slow, but it was evident that she hadn’t eaten in quite a while, being somewhat incorporeal- although Bea still had no real idea of what Luna was. She definitely wasn’t a ghost, or dead at all in the traditional sense of the word, but she wasn’t quite alive either.

“Ok, regardless…” Breathing in and out, she set a hoof on the table, indicating that she was getting down to business. “I need to get going soon.” Luna’s face fell, and then fell some more as she realised the full implications of what Bea had said. “I do actually have a job, and my mum is probably beside herself with worry.” Bea rolled her eyes in an attempt to underplay her own anxiety, but the wry smile on her face betrayed her true feelings, and even then, it did little to distract from how she continued to fidget nervously with her hooves. Luna didn't notice, too busy eating.

“I underst-” Luna began.

“So I was wondering if you wanted to come with me?”

Luna choked on a bit of food as it went down the wrong way.

~~~

The princess was eager to leave as soon as possible, but Bea insisted on doing the dishes, and generally tidying up around the place before they left. Despite the fact that she was the one who had come up with the idea for them to go together, she wasn’t entirely willing to actually wear the crown, much to Luna’s chagrin, and currently it was stashed in her saddlebags. This meant that Luna was stuck waiting by the door, and it was quickly becoming evident that she wasn’t particularly patient.

“Are you done yet?” She paused in her pacing to call from the bottom of the stairs. “I really don’t mind if you leave the place in a mess.” Luna was aware of how desperate she must have sounded, even if Bea didn’t actually interpret it in that way, and so she resolved to simply sit and wait. This lasted all of 10 seconds, before she was fretting and pacing about again. “Seriously though, Bea; it’s o-”

She stopped herself as Bea appeared at the top of the stairs. “Wow, Princess,” Luna cringed as the athletic unicorn jumped all the way down. She imagined knees crunching and immediately pushed her mind elsewhere. “How long did you say you were stuck here again? I would’ve thought you’d be a little bit more capable of entertaining yourself for a few minutes.”

“Firstly, I didn’t, and secondly…” Luna looked away sheepishly. “I slept for most of the time.” Her gaze immediately shot back to Bea as she started to laugh, pitched yet good-natured. It was difficult to maintain a scornful look. She scoffed- “It’s not like there’s much to do; once I finished going through the library, there was nothing left for me here!”

Bea crept forward with a rascally grin. “Until I showed up?”

“Yes. Until you showed up.” Luna feigned disinterest, and at this, Bea laughed again.

Donning her cloak and fastening her bags, she did a slow turn, taking in the house. The cured wood floor of the foyer, the myriad of clocks adorning the wall that adjoined the stairs. The foreign style that was emulated by the doorless archways of the kitchen and the ochre of the painted dining room walls. It was a lovely home, but until now it had felt empty. And soon it would be empty again.

“Ok then! Let’s get this show on the road!”

Luna groaned. “Why.” She shouldered past Bea and through the opened front door. “Why do you insist on talking like a middle-aged father. It’s inspired, just how tiresome it is.”

Bea didn’t hear her, too busy spacing out.

Luna turned around. “What’s wrong?”

“I dunno, I was just expecting it to be harder.” She shrugged and trotted out after Luna.

Luna froze. “Expecting what to be harder?”

“Y’know, extracting an ethereal, ancient princess from an isolated location deep in a magical forest, where she had been trapped for countless aeons.” Gesticulating wildly with her hooves, it was apparent that she was a little disappointed. “Like- I was thinking there’d at least be some kind of forcefield, or maybe a riddle? I genuinely didn’t think it was going to just work; at least not until a year or two went by.”

“Huh. But why?”

“Dunno, that's just... how it is in the stories, usually.”

They wandered for a while in the forest, going back and forth like this, talking about various hypotheticals and sharing stories. When they passed Sterling’s grave, Luna put her arm around Bea’s shoulder. They couldn’t find any proper flowers, so they left some nettles atop the dirt.

~~~

They had been going for a long time, and while Bea’s heart was pounding and her mouth was dry, Luna was still happily gabbing and strolling along, still excited to be outside.

“Why are you so out of breath? I could probably run another hour.” Luna pranced about in the air above Bea, circling around her head.

“YOU ARE AN APPARITION! Or a projection! Or… something else that’s stupid and unnecessarily complicated! You don’t even have lungs!” Bea countered loudly, startling a family of birds. Her hooves hurt from the hours of walking, and as her stomach groaned, she realised she’d gotten quite hungry. Luna simply nickered in response.

“Oh- actually! Let me quickly try something.” And then she vanished for a moment, leaving Bea alone in the dark.

She stopped, spotting a decently sized rock that looked adequately seat-shaped, and took a momentary break to catch her breath- although if asked, she would have said it was for Luna’s sake; so that it wasn’t disorienting when she popped back into existence. She’d already seen what happened when Luna appeared and was instantaneously impacted by the crown’s physical movement, snapping her out of a state of inertia in a single vomitous motion. Bea had narrowly avoided being showered with the half-digested remains of the princess’ considerably large breakfast.

The scent of pine needles and damp air filled her lungs as she breathed in, and for a moment she just stood there, with her eyes closed. It was a wonderful moment, and she was filled with a sense of peace… and then came that fizzling pop that meant the princess had returned. Bea smiled, and was ready to make a snarky comment when she heard the tone of Luna’s voice.

“Beatrix.” Luna used her full name, and her voice was fraught with panic.

“Where is the Sun?” There were tears on her face, and Bea was reminded of the incredible wave of negativity that had come from the door opposite Luna’s.

“Ah.” She said stupidly, nothing else coming to mind. She had been fearing this conversation. “Nopony… knows?” Bea ventured, uncertain of how to proceed.

Voice wavering, Luna responded. “I see.”

Luna disappeared again.

When it became clear she wasn’t going to be coming back any time soon, Bea opened the right side of her saddlebag and took out a wrapped sandwich. She had no idea how Luna’s pantry kept itself stocked, but she wasn’t going to question a free and infinite supply of food. Maybe one day she’d figure out how to reverse-engineer the spell.

It was still going to be a while before she made it out of the forest, and now she would be doing it alone.

~~~

Edgar stood at the edge of the crater. This was where Sal’s hideaway had been?

“Shit…”

He paced around the scene, trying to make sense of it. If this path led up to here… then this was probably where the door was…

Before making his way over, he’d gone to the library and looked at the specifics for the property. Technically, it belonged to the Crown, but in reality, it had been almost a century since anypony from the Solar Court had ventured out here, so squatters running legally grey operations had free rein over how the location was used.

That being said- it seemed that, aside from the most recent visitors, it was unlikely that anyone had been here in a long time.

It was obvious that nothing could have survived the blast at point blank, but if it- if he, somehow had, then there were only a few places he could have gone. He had either stayed where he was, come up and out of the wreckage, or he’d gone deeper down.

As he landed in a pile of detritus and crumbled bricks, a cascade of loose rubble ran down the sloped ground. The entire thing was unstable, and he’d have to be careful if he wanted to get any information out of the less-than-ideal crime scene.

Taking wing, he flapped back over to where he’d left his bags, before returning with a spool of caution tape and some metal stakes. With the perimeter established, he was ready to get to work.

For an explosion of this scale, he was looking for some scorch marks to show him where the epicentre had been. Due to the lack of fire damage to the general area, it was safe to assume that the blast had been primarily kinetic, or at least that the majority of the damage had been done via a compression effect. This, combined with the involvement of the Witch, made it pretty obvious that it had been a mana-based explosion; namely a sudden release of magic energy.

He came to an area that was particularly destroyed. Tossing aside the remains of a hefty wooden beam and scrabbling through some large chunks of various building materials. Bricks, concrete; mortar and rebar; it was also clear that the underground structure had a completely different composition than the humble wooden barn that had been above.

There it was.

Black marks, burnt into the very stone itself. He whistled lowly, although the gesture was hollow. Of course she was going to be powerful, but still… it seemed a little bit ridiculous for the EEF to be sending fairly normal infantry after such a formidable foe. Surely Canterlot could spare one or two unicorns to engage Witches on a more even playing field? He’d done some reading on the Witch Hunting wing of the Equestrian Expeditionary Force, and it seemed to have an exorbitantly high fatality rate. No wonder Sterling was so morose. Edgar wondered how many partners and colleagues he’d lost.

After spending another twenty minutes or so digging through the wreckage of what he’d discovered was once a kitchen, he’d found the blood, browning as it oxidised. It trailed down a wall and onto the floor and then-

It was as he’d feared.

Peering down into the darkness, Edgar sighed.

Sterling had clearly been hit by something- probably the blast, but he’d managed to escape the killing blow of the falling rubble, by falling deeper; into the Darmste caverns. If the fall hadn’t killed him, there were definitely plenty of things down there, willing to finish the job.

“Shit.”

~~~

The woods thinned out. Civilisation beckoned. Luna’s absence was saddening, but Bea could deal with it, and she knew the alicorn needed some time to think. So did she. How was Luna going to integrate into the world at all? She seemed kind of important, like; the Solar Court would probably want to know that their leader’s sister was alive- or that she actually existed in the first place.

The lights were on in the first house she passed, so it had to still be early-ish. Definitely before Last-Light, so there would be plenty of time for her to find somewhere to sleep, something to eat and a train ticket for the next cycle.

Passing by the scattering of ramshackle huts and cosy-looking, albeit rather modest cottages, Bea pondered the responsibilities that she’d shirked- first for her ill-fated deal with Sal, and again for her time with Luna. It’d been at least a full week. Had her mum been watering her garden while she was away? Was little Patchy Meadows, the filly who’d had a hacking cough, still waiting for a post-recovery check-up? Oh, Sun above! What if Wild Bristle had gone into labour early? Would she be able to deliver safely?

As Bea rushed into the town proper, she searched for a newsagent. She’d been away for around two cycles before she’d had to flee Sal’s bar, and then she’d slept at least two- no three times since. A full week.

Pushing through a dust-caked glass door, she wiped a line of sweat off her brow. At this point she was only trying to confirm her own failure. The guy behind the counter glanced up at her briefly with disinterest, before looking back down at his crossword. “Can I help you?” he offered gruffly, clearly unphased by her appearance.

“No, thank y-” she caught sight of the date. That can’t be right, can it? Folding the paper over, she slapped it down on his counter. “Is this the right date?” He levelled a weary look at her, and held it for a moment. Then his eyes shifted down to the page.

“Reckon’ so.” He answered glibly, and pushed the paper back across the surface, hoping to be done with this particular conversation soon.

“What the fuck.” She stared at it some more.

“S’not my fault, so don’t get all uppity with me, missy.” not even bothering to look up.

In all that time, she’d only been gone for a total of a little more than three cycles. Did Luna’s house- no, the entire forest, having some kind of time dilating effect? She’d managed to finish her book while she was there- but she’d barely made a dent into the first few chapters during her train ride up.

“Thanks.” She breathlessly spoke as she rushed outside.

His eyes trailed her as she left. “Whatever, I dun’ care.”

The square was starting to come alive, and she was struck by the realisation that she hadn’t remembered to hide her face- as she pulled up the hood of her cloak and she silently swore, hoping that nopony had noticed her. Regardless, she could forget staying for a sleep- if the clock on the wall at the newsagent’s was right, then she could hop on a train and be home before the lights went out.

Colourful ponies bustled around the streets and as a group of friends walked by, laughing about some unheard joke, Bea was reminded of Luna. Oh hell. What would happen if she randomly popped in again now? Would she be able to explain away the sudden appearance of an Alicorn? Probably not. As horrible as it was, Bea hoped Luna needed a while longer to process her feelings.

The ticket office at the train station was nearly empty, but not completely. Bea was too wrapped up in her thoughts and worries to notice that something was amiss, and she thought nothing of the lion-esque tail of the griffon that was waiting in line ahead of her, nor the speckled pattern of his feathers.

~~~

When Edgar turned to leave, he recognised her cloak and saddlebags, but instead of engaging her on the spot, he chose to simply leave the building, and waited to observe her further.

When she walked outside and headed directly to a nearby alleyway, he stuck back, following at a distance, allowing the combination of his avian senses and his training to ensure she remained within his vision.

When she thought she’d gone far enough, she crouched behind a dumpster, casting a scant look the way she’d came to make sure she hadn’t been followed. Edgar probably would’ve been caught if he hadn’t already clambered up a drainpipe onto a nearby rooftop. When she pulled out the diadem from her saddlebags and gave it a rub, he almost squawked in surprise, which would have been seen as a faux pas, both as a griffon with Equestrian citizenship, and as someone who was trying their best to be sneaky. It was far harder to keep his surprise quiet when the misty image of an Alicorn appeared next to the Witch. But he managed.

~~~

Bea had been putting it off, but now she had nothing else to distract herself with, and so she tentatively removed the diadem from her bag. She figured that due to Luna’s connection with the item, she could probably ‘summon’ her by interacting with it. Lo and behold, when she touched it, a quiet pop sounded as Luna fizzled into existence, and when she looked up, she was staring into her eyes. Woah.

“Hey there, you alright?” Bea reached out a hoof to console Luna, but the princess shrugged it off and drew herself up to her full height. It was easy to forget with how rarely Luna actually touched the ground, but she was easily a head taller than Bea, even without floating.

“I want to apologise.” Her voice was measured, and it felt like she’d been rehearsing a speech, which considering how long she’d been gone, was entirely possible. Although considering the revelation she’d had about the current date, perhaps her entire concept of “how long” it had been was totally out of whack.

Regardless, she was caught totally off-guard by this. “W-” Bea was pretty sure that she’d be the one who’d done something wrong in this situation. “What… for? I mean, I was the one who messed up- I was dumb and avoided the topic until too late, and then I handled it terribly.”

“Yes, but you are just a child.” Luna offered a sage rebuttal, and put a hoof on Bea’s shoulder- shaking her head as if some great injustice had been done to the poor, defenceless unicorn.

“Luna, I’m 22 years old. I can handle unfortunate situations, and deal with their repercussions. You don’t need to feel like it’s your responsibility.”

“Oh. Oh. Well… you’re still younger than me.” Luna tried to regain some of her composure, but her voice shook and her shoulders heaved and now Bea was standing up on her hind legs so that she towered above her.

“Oh yeah, I bet you’re pretty dang old. Heck, you’d have to be at least eighty-seven if the so-called 'blessed Mistress of The Sun' was actually your sister!” She jabbed at Luna with her hoof. “And exactly how much of that time were you awake for?” Luna looked like she was on the verge of tears under the blue unicorn’s onslaught, but then Bea surprised her by sweeping her up in a tight hug, and she started crying openly.

“I don’t believe you.” Bea gently stroked away one of the mare's tears. “Which is why I’m sorry that I fucked up.” She patted Luna’s back as the alicorn sobbed. “Now. How old are you, for real?”

“I-” Luna sniffled, taking a moment to breathe as Bea loosened up on her grip and let her compose herself. “What year is it- what year… on the Solar calendar?”

“It’s 1703. Something happened to your sister in 1615, and she disappeared completely from the public eye a year later. Her daughter- your niece, is at the head of the council that’s in charge now.”

“She had a daughter?” Luna’s eyes widened, and she looked so vulnerable in that moment that Bea dragged her back into the embrace. “I was b-born over a thousand years ago?” Bea’s eyes widened. One thousand? “B-but- buh-” Luna continued, face covered in snot, eyes red and puffy, and she starting bawling even harder than before. “I’m only 19!”

Luna held onto Bea so tightly that she started to tear out clumps of her coat, and then she disappeared again, leaving Bea grasping nothing but air. “Fuck.” And never before, had she burdened that single word with so much meaning.

She tucked the crown away into her saddlebag, and sat there, her eyes wide, still processing. She was so deep in thought that she didn’t notice the hooves rushing down the alleyway from either side until their somewhat familiar scent hit her; potent but not entirely unpleasant. Nevertheless, its identity evaded her, even as it alerted her to their presence. She jumped up- ready to fight, but a blow dart struck her in the neck.

A moment passed. Another. Beatrix turned to the pony who’d shot her, slowly. Violent intention simply dripped off her; a deluge of anger cascading over and manifesting into a terrifying presence.

Still a little overcome with emotion and absolutely brimming with adrenaline, she bellowed loudly, ripping the tiny projectile out. “That’s it? That’s all you have the grace to hit me with? I’m a bit busy for this amateur hour BULLSHIT!” Although her motions slowed a little, her muscles ached for a fight. Gone was the tenderness of the moment earlier- in its place was a cool blue titan of destruction. Her cloak fanned out as she moved and the ground cracked under the force of her hooves.

She punched straight through the mask of one of her attackers, pinning them to the wall, before spinning around and throwing them into another cluster of masked ponies. She twirled about, whirling and writhing in a draconic fury; decimating anypony that made the mistake of trying to get close. She snarled as she turned on the group that was behind her- only to get hit with a full volley of darts. Ooft, she thought as she staggered over to a wall. Did… I just grunt in my internal monologue? Yeesh.

Notwithstanding the amount of tranquiliser in Bea’s bloodstream, she could still take them, and probably have enough energy left over to make it to her train- she would find a nice private car, and she would collapse; letting the recent events wash off her.

Then the chant started.

These weren’t normal, opportunistic kidnappers, looking to shuffle her off into some equine-trafficking ring. In reality, the number of them should have been a dead giveaway that something was wrong, and if nothing else, there was the smell. It had been the most obvious clue, and realisation clicked in her clouded mind. Incense, candles… ash.

Oh no. Not them.

Imprinted in her vision, everywhere she looked- the eyes looked on. Neon and two dimensional, the crude depictions hung in the air and encircled her. Vivid memories began to hit her, harder than any blow. The ribs she’d broken when she was six and the arcing slices of pain that accompanied them, every rock that had ever been cast at her throughout her childhood until finally she had learnt to catch them mid-air and pelt them back, all the abuse that she’d endured and the names she’d been called and the times she’d let herself be hurt.

The horns of her attackers glowed brighter.

A spiral of darkness opened up within the centre of her skull, rending her body and sending her tumbling right past the precipice of natural unconsciousness and over into the greater blackness that lay beyond.

~~~

Edgar, who had been watching the whole thing, was very confused. He’d thought that he’d been doing a good job until the princess showed up. He’d felt a little gross as he silently witnessed the heart-baring exchange between the two, and then concerned for Bea as the ponies in cloaks showed up. She’d been winning the fight, right up until when she suddenly and inexplicably collapsed. Now he watched as they picked up their injured, and then collected the unconscious witch.

It definitely didn’t help to alleviate his uncertainty that everything he’d ever been taught as a hatchling was telling him to go against his orders, his training, and help the mare who had probably killed his partner.

There wasn’t time for him to come to a proper conclusion. The kidnappers were making their escape; he had to make his choice now, and he hated it.

Silently, he followed them from a distance, and hoped that he was doing the right thing.