So, I was sitting in my living room one day, mostly just vibing now that I didn't exactly have friends to hangout with. Well, I did, and she was being a lap-changeling-queen. Yeah, Chrysalis decided to stop by and pay me a visit for some reason(as in some bug told her I was feeling down and betrayed), and I was all too happy to test out a backscratcher on her. And Chrysalis was all too happy to be a test subject; she had her eyes closed in raw relaxation as it ran across the back of her head.

“So you want my Hive to help you build a ‘greenhouse’?” Chryssy asked as she opened an eye and began reading the scroll that had the schematics for it. “It shows the mechanisms, but I would like to know what I am helping you build; I will not offer my assistance in order to you otherwise. Even if your arguments for why I should anyways are quite convincing…” Chrysalis grabbed my hand with her magic, quickly stopping I before could react. “My apologies… I forgot about how Luna took advantage of you. A little to the left please?” I did as asked. “Much better.”

“So you know how I felt… betrayed by my pony friends?”

“Of course. Gengar told me about what was said about you. How are you nothing more than an animal?”

“Of course… you don’t think I’m just some animal, do you?” Chrysalis got up and off the couch, returning to her actual size, before placing both her hooves on my shoulder, and then moving my head up with one. Now we were eye to eye.

“Do you have ambition?” I nodded. “Do you dream?” I nodded again. “Then you are more than an animal at a minimum. My Hive has taken some of your technology and enjoys it. Changelings are having fun with baking, thanks to your miniature ovens that can be fueled with magic rather than coal even if we don’t need to eat. Calculators are brilliant, measuring tapes are even better. You are incredibly intelligent, or at a minimum, good and rebuilding your race’s technology from the ground up. You’ve earned my respect, Bob, and you are an equal to me because of that; you’re technically the king of your race because you are the only one of your race.”

“That’s… a bullshit reason to consider me an equal.”

“You also rub my belly, and it feels good, so you at least have earned my affection. I don’t give that out lightly, especially to non-changelings. So, what is a greenhouse?”

“It’s another form of human technology, where it’s a building that lets you grow plants at any time of year. It works by keeping the room a certain temperature using a mixture of chemicals, automatically waters them, fertilizer can be used, yotta yotta, this gives me an excuse to not enter Ponyville at all. I don’t have to interact with my friends. Well, except Venice Arrow and her foal; they’re still pretty chill. That’s why I want this built. I could do it myself, but you guys built this house, and it’s the most well-built building I’ve seen here, period. My tune may change if I visit Canterlot, but this house is more stably built and hardier than everything in Ponyville. I trust your ‘lings’ ability to make my project a reality.”

Chrysalis paused and looked over the blueprints again. “I will see that it is done. You may have to feed the changelings on sight for payment, but many would build this for you, even without payment. They all like you, but because you are you, you’d probably rub their bellies, pet them all, and then inadvertently feed them with affection, which is second only to love for changelings. Of… course, I would also like some vegetables every now and then; I quite like tomatoes and I enjoy snacking on them on occasion.”

“You don’t even need to ask; I was gonna offer you ‘lings some of the produce from the greenhouse as partial payment aside from me showering them in affection. How long ‘til it’s built?”

“Should be a week or so; we need to get the glass for this somehow.”

“Fair enough. Again, thank you Chrysalis!” I slipped under the Queen’s hooves and hugged her. “You, legitimately, are the coolest person I have met. And that’s with knowing a literal Sun Goddess.” Chrysalis remained silent and I rubbed my cheek into her long neck. “I wanna hangout with you more, so stop by a bit more often, alright?”

“...Of course. However, I have been busy with planning something big, so I don’t know how often I can visit. I will definitely visit throughout the week where we are building your greenhouse…” Chrysalis lowered to her knees and rested her head on my shoulder. “It’s been so long since anyone has hugged me like this, or have I allowed myself to be hugged. It’s… quite pleasant,” Chrysalis purred and I jerked slightly. “Did I do something wrong?” I pulled back, keeping my hands on her shoulders.

“You can purr?”

“I can, why do you ask?”

“Why the actual, flying fuck are you so fucking cute?” I was now squishing the Queen’s cheeks.

“I’m cute?” Chrysalis’s eyes got wider, before her head was enveloped in flames, only to reveal her face again, but now proportion to that of a filly’s. “Truly?”

“You don’t need to look like a filly to be cute, Chrysalis. You’re fucking adorable as is!” Because Chrysalis is surprisingly light, despite how big she is, I scooped her up and held her bridal style. I then spun around and Chrysalis gave a needlessly cute giggle as I did so. Sadly, Chrysalis had to go, so she gently nipped me, and I put her back on her hooves. “I assume you gotta go?”

“Of course I do… sadly. A Hive won’t run on its own.” We shook hands and hooves, and Chrysalis was gone. Like she just melted into the floor and was gone without even leaving a scorch mark. I sighed as I sat back down on the couch to enjoy some silence. Well, I got to enjoy it for all of twenty seconds before somebody started hammering on my door like they were about to lose their livelihood. So of course, I groaned, got out of my seat and went to the door. When I opened it, Twilight and her friends, with AJ at the forefront, were standing outside of it. I stared blankly at them before going to close the door.

“Wait!” I stopped halfway through closing the door. AJ and the rest of fuckasses, then proceeded to force their way in. Gengar, who was sitting next to the stove with a pot still kinda full of pudding jumped, and disappeared upstairs, leaving the pot to land perfectly on the stove like it was never disturbed by a changeling. So I was left alone with six ponies, there four of the six were intolerable, Fluttershy was pretty cute, and I always got along with Twilight. So I sat in my favorite chair and rested my head in one of my hands and sighed.

“Are you guys here to voice how ‘sorry’ you all are? If so, you can feel free to say,” I pulled out some earplugs. “It’ll get me an opportunity to test these out at least.”

“We aren’t here to say sorry; we know what we said was incredibly awful, but we are here to ask for help. Two… inventors, the Flim Flam Brothers, came to Ponyville and made a bet with the Apple Family. Their machine makes apple cider, and their machine’s a bit faster than just four Apples are, as much as Ah hate to admit it. It’s also still a wee bit quicker than we are, even with honorary members of the Apple Family. We need your help to beat these guys, some sorta human invention or something! Ah don’t know!” I blinked a couple times before sighing. “Well? Are you willing to help us?”

Apple Jack gave me this sweet little smile that woulda won me over a couple weeks ago. I’m a couple weeks older and spiteful.

“You got on my ass for not doing things traditionally not even two weeks ago, AJ. Tell me, tell me why I should help you when I hear you voice similar opinions, that your friends share, about me being some dumb animal. We’re fucking business partners, and you think I’m a god damn idiot. Like fuck, if it weren’t for that little tid bit of us being partners, I would have zero reason to talk to you, let alone want to talk to you.” I reached over my chair and grabbed a toolbox. “However, I am interested in your competition; I wanna see what pony inventors have to offer. Because I plan on making my own cider machine to spike with vodka next Christmas. Now get outta my house.”

“You… aren’t helping us?” Rainbow asked. “You gotta! We’re your friends-”

“Were my friends. Thank you for making my point for me! You were my friends, and now the only two I would even consider seeking out are Twilight Sparkle and Fluttershy! Rainbow, you were the ringleader in what was said about me not too long ago. I know how you see me, and what you actually think of me. My loyalty, you have not earned, and you’ve yet to even make amends with me, do anything to show true remorse besides some sad eyes. Just anything to prove you’re willing to actually see me as a person and friend. Shut the fuck up about loyalty because you were disloyal by talking shit about me behind my back.

“You were fucking awesome, you did cool stunts that I loved watching from the library, you were fucking funny, and you moved at the speed of god damn sound. I’ve voiced how awesome you are while you weren’t around, and I never said anything ill about behind your back. I was loyal to my friends, and I repay it tenfold. You, on the other hand, seem to not do that at all. So shut the fuck up, Rainbow Dash. Now, the six of you should leave; I’m about to leave and I don’t want people in my home while I’m not home.” Once they all left, each giving me a sad glance on the way out, I grabbed my toolbox and headed into Ponyville.

It really didn’t take me to find the inventors, since they were in the middle of town flaunting their new machine as they poured apples into it. “Greetings, gentlemen.”

“Howdy partner! You’re quite an interestin’ looking fella!” Nicely concealed racism? dick. “Interested in some cider?”

“Actually, I was hoping to take a gander on the insides of your machine. I wanna make my own at some point, for personal use; I don’t wanna encroach on your business, it’s really fucking scummy.” Like how you’re encroaching on the Apple Family’s business, scumbags. “Can I take a peek? As a fellow inventor, I love seeing how stuff works.”

“How do we know you won’t-”

“If I sell any cider in the future with my design, I’ll give you all the profits. You have my word.” I’m lying through my teeth. Well, not really, I wasn’t lying. I just won’t be selling cider; it’ll encroach on somebody else’s business after all. I looked over the cider machine, which was stupidly huge for what it did, and I hummed. “I could probably even build you guys an improved, faster version free of charge, but I see that your design is flawless.”

“Of course it is! And if you hold to your word-”

“Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” I did the motions and all. “So can I look under the hood?”

“Uh… sure.” So I went in, under the machine and had a good look at the internals.

“Holy shit this thing sucks.” I whispered as I tapped around, noticing how there was nothing to separate the apples from the leaves, or even take the seeds out. With how it apparently sucks apples right off the trees, along with whatever those apples were attached to, that was wholly terrible. That still didn’t help the fact that it also just wasn’t well-built circuitwise. Of course, because I’m an asshole, I took the wench I had in my pocket and knocked a gear or three out of place and unscrewed a few screws. I never said I wasn’t going to be helping my old friends; I still want the best for them after all. I slid out. From under it. “This thing… is outstanding.” I lied through my teeth.

“Of course! I’m glad a fellow inventor can see the wonders of the Flim Flam Brothers’ Super Cider Squeezy 6000! And if you plan on somehow improving our design to sell your own cider, and fully agree to give us the proceeds, then we will happily look forward to you being a business partner!”

So the competition began, with the whole apple family, along with ‘honorary members’, began going to town, going faster than ever before while the Flim Flam Brothers’ machine kept pace. I wasn’t really paying attention too much, since I was building my own cider machine, but when I looked up, I couldn’t help but admire how fast the Apple Family, plus the rest of the Elements, was going. I may not like one, certain member, but I could respect the hustle. The cider squeezer that the Brothers were using was accepting everything, branches, rotten apples, worms, anything to be made into cider, until one of the gears fell out for some odd reason that I couldn’t explain.

And then the thing blew up, sending the Brothers into space. “Looks like we’re blasting off again!” I waved.

“Yo, make sure you mail me my paycheck every month!” I waved. “Stupidasses,” I chuckled and looked down at my own machine. It was pretty simple, since it took actual apples being put into it by hand, had a simple see and stem collection system and grinder that ran on a crank and a couple bearings to make it run faster per crank. The entire town looked shocked, with bits and bops of the Flim Flam brothers’ machine being strewn all over the place, with the Apple Family in shock. Except for the Big Mac. Rainbow is a far faster pony than the big lump, even if said big lump probably has more stamina to spare. That said, he was currently stuck to the treadmill as it kept going round and round as the cyan pegasus took to the air.

“How the hay…”

“It… looks like the Apple Family wins by default!” Mayor Mare announced, and the whole town cheered. Of course, the family managed to make enough cider for everyone in town, so everyone decided to celebrate I guess. I went and picked a couple apples off a nearby tree and stuck it in my own machine before running it. Sure enough, I had my own mug, and took a sip. Hmmm. I could probably find some way to chill it; apple cider without alcohol in it is only good when cold. So I sat myself up on the fence and watched everyone enjoy their time partying.

Aside from when they look at me with a stink eye or two. That’s always fun. Another tried petted me until I shoved their snout into the mug they were holding so hard that it got stuck to their muzzle. They screamed and cursed as they ran away.

“Hey Bob!” Venice walked on up to me with a mug in her hooves, along with Arrow who was sleeping on her back. “Where’s your cider? Everypony in town is getting a mug!”

“I’m not a pony.”

“Bob, get a mug and enjoy yourself,” I pointed at the machine next to me.

“I can make my own mug if needed,” I lifted it. “See?” I took a sip. “It’s pretty basic, but it works. It doesn’t make cider sparkle, but it makes cider.” I took another sip. “So, how are things going?” I peeked over at Arrow. “I’m assuming he woke up a little early for today?”

“Well… he and Apple Bloom started dating recently, so he was excited to see her family compete. He may not have slept last night.” We both chuckled at that.

“Ah young love; how I wish I could’ve experienced that myself. I hope everything else is going well for you?”

“Of course I got a promotion at work, which means I can work a little less, but still get paid as much as I did before!”

“Cool. if you ever need help with anything, just lemme know… Last time I checked my bank account, I had at least twenty thousand bits. So if you’re struggling, again, just let me know. Aight?”

“Of course! And if you find yourself struggling, or just want some company, you can seek me out…” Venice sighed. “Sorry about not visiting you on Hearth’s Warming by the way. I made a promise to myself I would, and Arrow was so excited too, but we got sick.”

“Eh, don’t worry about it, lass.” I hopped down and wrapped an arm around Venice’s neck. “Shoulda told me you were sick though. I woulda loved taking care of you if I knew you were sick.” Venice simply chuckled. “Yeah, I know, you wouldn’t even be able to tell me you were sick.” I ruffled her mane. “Stop by my place later, eh? I’m sure Arrow would love another sleepover.”

“Of course!” Venice went off to probably get her kid to bed, and I was soon approached by Twilight and her friends, each holding an empty mug.

“Sup,” I waved. “How was kicking the Flim Flam Brothers’ asses in the competition?”

“You weren’t even watching,” Rainbow growled. “And then you wonder-”

“I knew you were gonna win. I had a look at their machine; it fucking sucked shit and was way too big for what it does. Nice work running that treadmill, though.” I waved a hand. “I also got a nice chance to…” I pulled out my wrench. “Look around that machine, hence why I knew why it would fucking blow. And even if I had nothing to do with it, there was so much rotten shit going into the cider that none of it woulda sold anyways.” I slid the wrench away. “On the brightside, I have another invention that I could probably sell. Or lease the design to somebody to sell.” I picked up my cider machine. “Built this during the competition, and it can make cider at home if I need it. Or grape juice… ooh that is definitely what I’mma do after I clean this thing off.”

“Wait, what did you do to the Super Cider Squeezy 6000?” Twilight asked.

“I used my wrench to prod at it, and it blew up because I knocked a cog out of place.”

“That-”

“They were going to ruin somebody else’s livelihood with that machine, AJ. I may not like you anymore, but I don’t want you and your family to go homeless because you lost a stupid bet you shouldn’t have made. And as said, I return kindness tenfold, and I still owe you that after the tolerance you’ve shown me.” I grabbed my toolbox and my machine. “And I repaid my debt to you. It’s as simple as that.”

“You… actually helped us,” Apple Jack said, like she couldn’t believe it. “It was a bit underhoofed, but you helped us.”

“I…” Rainbow walked up to me. “You actually came through for us,” Rainbow raised a hoof, likely expecting me to take it. “Want to start over? I… you actually came through for us despite what we said about you. I want to make up for that.” I knelt down slightly so I was looking Rainbow in the eyes. “Uh… Kevin?”

“You know, I was about to accept your apology; I hate holding grudges. But did you actually have to call me by that name? I believe I said that name no longer holds any meaning to me.”

“Why do you hate your actual name anyways? It’s better than Bob,” Twilight cocked her head, and it was the only reason why I answered. Because that her tilt was cute as fuck.

“You know how I said I hate my parents, and how they mistreated me?” Twilight nodded. “They gave me that name. I want zero ties to them. And since Bob, for some stupid reason, stuck, I figured that would be my name. If I somehow make history, I want that name to be written in the history books. The name of a man that made a difference in the world, not some fuck-up from a dead-end town that wouldn’t even made waves in a small pond. My name is Bob; Kevin has long since died, Twilight.”

“Ah…” AJ took her hat off. “Ah didn’t know that was why you never told us your actual name. I thought you didn’t trust us.”

“You showed me trust by letting me rub your belly. You may not think much of it, but that is a sign of trust to me. Your belly is one of the most vulnerable spots on your body, aside from your throat. There are no bones, the skin in those areas are very thin and fragile as well. If I wanted to, I could slice those open with a knife and kill you whenever you let me rub your belly, and yet you let me rub it anyways, AJ, lemme tell you something important…” I raised a hand to my heart. “Trust goes both ways. Had I not heard what I heard, I would’ve shown up here and help you guys anyways, because friends should trust each other to be by the others’ side until the bitter end. Even if I would rather be asleep right now, I woulda shown up to help you as best as I could.” I took a deep breath.

“Look, I hate holding grudges, and I know you guys are sorry for what you’ve said. I’m willing to forgive, but I won’t forget what you’ve said. Especially you, Rainbow. We can be friends again, but you’re gonna have to work damn hard to regain my trust and loyalty again. And you’ll have to show me you aren’t just tolerating me; I can tell if you are. This’ll also be the only other chance I will give y’all. Ruin it, and I will recluse to my home, as I will soon have a reason to never go into town again. Capiche?”

“Uh…”

“That’s a human saying for ‘got it?’. Venice probably knows it at this point, and I know I’ve heard Celestia use it a few times.” I shrugged. “Meh, doesn’t matter.” I offered a hand. “This time, let’s actually be friends and not just acquaintances.” Rainbow took my hand, and I dropped my toolbox and machine. The machine could be fixed later. “Gotcha, bitch!” I scooped Rainbow up and started cradling her. Soon enough, her tongue was hanging out the side of her mouth after I rubbed her belly silly. “So, I have a few human treats, stuff called pudding and ice cream sandwiches. Wanna come and try them?”

“Uh… sure. You aren’t poisoning us, right, Bob?”

“Apple Jack, I could literally build a human weapon and kill you from several kilometers away and nobody would be able to find your body if I wanted to kill you. We’re working on trust again, aren’t we?”

“We are, but Ah’m not sure-”

“Pudding and ice cream sandwiches are made with stuff you ponies can digest safely. I made sure of that, since I was gonna have you guys try it out at that picnic that you were about to invite me to a few weeks ago. Well, pudding at least, is safe for you guys to eat. So is ice cream; I was gonna sell it after all.”

“Well, I am always looking forward to trying something new, so lead the way, Bob.” Rarity nudged me forward, and actually let me scratch behind her ears. Yes, Rarity is very soft. As we walked, Twilight had Spike write a letter to Celestia about how talking behind somebody’s back is bad, and Aj then sent a letter through Spike as well, about how hard work always shows. I shook my head as we walked on. Of course, Twilight made me also write a letter, so I talked about how friends will always have a ‘falling out’ of sorts, and that it takes efforts to work through it, the payoff is worth it, blah, blah, blah.

Rarity was a slut for pudding apparently; she ate half of what I had left after Gengar ate a good amount of it over the course of two weeks. While she was about to go into a food coma, I rubbed her belly, and I could hear her unconsciously squeal in delight as I rubbed that belly.

Author's Note

might’ve accidentally unpublished this chapter for 5 nano seconds. oops.