So, because I hate myself, I decided to look for a spot just outside of Ponyville so I could go ahead and get a house built. Because at this point, I want my own home, and Ponies still sometimes give me weird looks. Even after proving that I’m not that bad of a person. Still bad, but not terrible. I wanted to move into the Everfree, but apparently it’s dangerous as all hell, and so it’s a bad idea to move there. Fortunately, I get to learn that the hard way by being chased out of the forest by a fucking manticore. My only regret is not being able to pet it.

It looked pettable, but it didn’t want to be pettable.

On the brightside, I ended up in a very different area than where I entered from, so that’s even better. I couldn’t even see Ponyville anymore.

Oh yeah, and there was some sorta bug horse sitting out in the field I just entered, and now we were staring at each other. I fully don’t understand why the fuck it was there. It looked… underfed at best, and I could kinda see its ribs. But that could because of the black chiton, which was meant to be form fitting; it is an animal’s, usually ones with a harder outer-layer, out-layer after all. I think it was a female judging from the it’s mane being as long as it is. And its more slender legs and mare-like facial strcuture. Its legs were riddled with holes, so was its hair and tail. What was interesting was that the mane and tail still held shape despite literally having holes in them. And then to top it all off, the bug horse was as tall as Celestia was and was wearing a crown behind a jagged, fucked up horn.

It was kinda cute.

“What in Tartarus are you? And what are you doing here?” It asked. Well, she. My earlier assessment of the mane was correct, Judging from the crown, she was at least a Princess.

“I am a human, the only one of my kind for that matter. I’m kinda lost. The heck are you? And what’s your name if you have one?”

“In your language, my name translates to Chrysalis, but that is Queen Chrysalis to you, human. I am a changeling, more specifically a queen. Though I am quite shocked; you haven’t run away at the sight of me… Why are you approaching? That is almost too close.”

“Hey, nothing says I can’t get close to you. We could be pals, we could not, but currently, I trust that you won’t immediately murder me, and I won’t try anything to you. And honestly I’m quite interested in what changelings are; there was no equivalent back home, after all.” I was now not even at arm’s reach from here. So if I wanted to, I could strangle that scrawny neck of Chrysalis’s, but I wasn’t going to. “It would also be easier to have a conversation without shouting at each other from across a field.

“I… you’re not wrong. Nor are you lying.”

“How can you tell?”

“We changelings can sense and feed off emotions. You show nothing but curiosity, and you lack the emotions most ponies would have when lying through their teeth. Perhaps…” Chrysalis sat on her rear. “I shall humor you and answer any questions that you may happen to have for me. I will also ask a few questions about yourself as I cannot deny my own curiosity. So, what is your name?”

“Bob.”

“What kind of cruel parents decided to name you Bob?”

“It’s just what I go by now; my old name’s even worse than that.”

“There is no way.”

“It was Kevin…” Chrysalis snorted to suppress a giggle. “Yeah, I know, my actual name is even more retarded than my current one. At least Bob is funny and unassuming. If you’re named Kevin, it’s immediately assumed that you’re either a basic bitch, or a stupid asshole. Both of which are not good things to be when your name happens to be Kevin.”

“I like you already. Before we begin, may I get a taste of some of your memories? I have not eaten in quite a bit, and I can sustain myself on memories if need be; they don’t taste as good, or as filling, as emotions such as love, but it would satiate my hunger for a bit. I promise I’ll only take your bad memories if you say yes. And this’ll guarantee that I’ll have something to eat and that I won’t harm you too badly.”

“Sure. A lady’s gotta eat right?” Chrysalis chuckled behind a hoof before going in to feast. Sure enough, my head felt funny and I felt a little odd, but I wasn’t sick or anything. I felt high off my ass.

“My my… Your memories are just as filling and flavorful as the actual emotions they’re supposed to emulate!” Chrysalis raised her hoof to her mouth; it was cute. “My apologies if you’ve any strange feelings after being fed upon. I was merely desperate for food and could not help myself at how bountiful you are as a food source.” I raised my hand up to her and she raised an eyebrow. “If you touch me, you will lose that hand.” Her eyes narrowed at the offer hand.

“But you look so pettable.”

“I am more than a simple pet, Bob.”

“I petted Princess Celestia once. Even rubbed her belly for a bit. And I’d say she’s more than a simple pet.”

“So?” I extended my hand and turned my gaze to the ground. What? It worked on Toothless, it might work on Chrysalis. Their names rhyme at least, so surely it would work the same for two different creatures. The next thing I knew, I had Chrysalis’s snout buried in my palm and was licking my hand with a very snake-like tongue.

“You know, if you are dumb enough, or brave enough, to turn your gaze away from a predator, then I suppose I shall humor you…” My hand slipped to her neck and immediately started scratching at it. “Oh my…” Chrysalis sighed in contempt. “You know what, Bob?” The bug horse moved her head to give me better access to her neck. “I like you a lot. So I shall allow you to keep scratching my neck because it feels nice. And I’m certain my carapace feels nice to your bare paws.”

“It’s cool to the touch… yet somehow pretty soft. It’s really satisfying, honestly. Why the fuck is everything so fucking pettable and cute, but smart enough to deny pets?”

“I’m cute?” Chrysalis asked, cocking her head. It made her look cuter than she is..

“Yeah. You have no right in being as cute as you are; you’re a fucking bug horse… Why the hell are you out in the snow anyways? Wouldn’t it be bad for you since you’re not warm blooded?”

“Sometimes I… like to walk around in the cold? It feels nice sometimes when there isn’t too strong of a breeze. And I can still move; I am only partially a bug. I share more characteristics with you mammals than I do bugs.” Chrysalis disengaged to turn and look around the little field we were in.

“Eh, fair enough. Though, you’ve made one mistake, Queen Chrysalis.” I got ready to pounce on the bug horse as she was facing away from me.

“And that is? I’m an apex predator; nothing will dare to attack me.”

“You know… we humans eat meat, like just about anything. Deer, horses…” Chrysalis raised an eyebrow and only swiveled her head towards me. Still, her back was to me. “Changelings.” The Queen squawked when I pounced. We went tumbling into a mass of changeling and humans, at first Chrysalis was actually growling until she realized I wasn’t actually trying to kill her, so we just started rolling around in the snow until I actually pinned a very giggly bug horse down. “Gotcha!” I chuckled and then stopped. Chrysalis was giggling even harder and it was actually really fucking cute.

Criminally so.

“You also made a mistake, my little human…” Chrysalis’s horn lit up and suddenly she was pinning me down. “I have magic…” She lowered her head and made like she was gonna bite me, only to then just start tickling the hell out of me with her snout and tongue. After a few moments of making me squirm, and a moment away from pissing myself, the bug graciously stopped before laying on top of me. Thankfully, despite the size difference, Chrysalis really wasn’t much heavier than Twilight, and Twilight somehow wasn’t heavier than a german shepherd.

So it wasn’t fun, but it didn’t hurt to be crushed by Chrysalis.

“You know, Bob, I must say, I did enjoy meeting you; it’s not everyday where a lady, a predator such as myself, can relax and wrestle with somebody. I hope we do meet again, which we likely will. If you wish to just meet me again, come to this field again and I will likely come to meet you. Do you need help going to the nearest pony settlement? I can direct you to the safest path to it.”

“How’d you know I was living in a pony town?”

“You’ve spoken with, and have definitely interacted with Princess Celestia; you’ve apparently rubbed her belly. It’s not hard to discern where you typically would live from there.

“Fuck… You are scarily smart and observant.” That got a smirk out of the queen. So I had a really dumb fuck idea. As soon as the bug rolled off of me, I wrapped my arms around her neck and started hugging her. “You’re probably the coolest thing I’ve met. Sure, ponies are nice and all, but so far, you’re the only thing to not look at me with immediate disgust. Or at the very least, you have the decency to hide it until we’ve properly interacted.”

“And you’re the only creature to have the balls to actually try to wrestle with me and not treat me like a Queen. I like that. You know what? To you, I am not Queen Chrysalis, simply call me Chrysalis.” Chrysalis actually returned the hug and nuzzled into my cheek as we continued on just laying there.

“Neato. So didn’t you say you have somewhere to be?”

“I did, unfortunately. I hope we meet again; I would not mind some more ear scratching. Those paws of yours are quite lovely.”

“Who knows? Maybe next time I can give you a massage.”

“That… would actually be nice. Now,” Chrysalis turned into a giant fucking eagle after bursting into green flames. “Hop on, I shall take you to the nearest settlement, which should be Ponyville.”

“Holy… fucking… shit. You can just do that?”

“Yes. I believe the name for my species would make that obvious, no?”

“You right,” I hopped on Chrysalis’s back. “Don’t make it any less cool, now does it? As far as I’m concerned, that’s sick as fuck.”

“I… I’m not sick,” Chrysalis said as she took to the air.

“It’s a figure of speech; means it’s awesome. We humans would love to be able to change shape and form at any time we want… though we’d also hate shapeshifters because of how scary those can be. Though to me, you are the coolest fucking thing I’ve seen. Period. And I come from a world where you can instantly communicate with somebody on the opposite side of the earth.” We then landed just on the outskirts of Ponyville, which didn’t even seem like half a mile from where we were… You gotta be fucking with me.

Chrysalis simply gave me an avian smirk, turned her head back to its natural form to nuzzle me, before flying off into the distance…

Fucking christ, that woman is needlessly cool.

“Bob!” Twilight tackled me. “What the hay were you doing riding that giant bird? Are you crazy?” Twilight sounded like my mother if my mother actually cared about my well being.

“I got lost somewhere and made friends with it. We humans are pack creatures, and we will bond with anything. That bird was really cool, and pretty friendly, so it gave me a ride back after I petted it for about half an hour.” I figured it wouldn’t be a good idea to let ponies know about Chrysalis; she apparently was a predator, and ponies were prey animals. So it was probably best not to even say that bird was a changeling.

“So… you weren’t in danger?”

“Twilight, we humans have made friends with wolves nearly about ten thousand years ago, maybe thirty thousand… Speaking of which, now I want to go get a wolf, or a dog. Ooo, maybe a wolfdog, I’ve always wanted one of those after watching Balto.”

“Bob… the buck are you talking about?”

“I wanna get a pet. But also, I wanna go get a house built.”

“Oh! We’re just outside of Fluttershy’s home! I bet we can get you a pet of some sort!”

“Oh shit, really?”

“Yeah! Feeding any animal won’t be an issue will it?”

“Twilight, I have two inventions, four more going to market, and Fluttershy is probably willing to help me with obtaining food for whatever I want as a pet. Plus, I’ll be out of your library, and in your house eventually, so room won’t be an issue.” Twilight’s ears drooped. “Yeah… I know, you want me to stay in the library because we’re friends, right?” Twilight’s cheeks were now pink. We started walking towards… fuck, Fluttershy’s cottage really is just there. That’s cool. “Look, we’ll still be friends if I move out. I just want a place in my home, and I don’t want to be a burden on you.”

“I know, and you aren’t a burden. It’s just nice to have you around the house; I finally have somepony that’s pretty smart to ‘egghead out’ with whenever we experiment something, test out one of your inventions like ball point pens, or ‘spinning fans’. Even if the things we are knowledgeable in are very different. You’re the only pony to understand my graphs when I show you them!”

“Hey now, nobody’s truly stupid, Twilight. Apple Jack knows farming apples, Rainbow knows how to be street smart. We all just have different skill sets. I don’t think reading graphs is in the average pony’s skill set. I can go on all day about some human science or invention that I’ve made; like something that helps with farming, but I wouldn’t know a damn thing about magic simply because my human brain cannot find any logic behind it.”

“That… I might have a letter to send to Celestia later! Thank you, Bob!” Twilight hopped on my back and just hugged me the whole time until we got to Fluttershy’s door.

“Yo Fluttershy! Did that big bird scare the hell out of you?” Twilight glared at me, but Fluttershy made a whimper from the other side of the door, so I assume that was a yes. “Well, I have a question.” The door opened to give the world a view of a shivering-in-fear Fluttershy. “I wanna get a dog, or a wolf. Preferably a wolf; they’re fucking cool. Do you happen to have any? Having a pet would be really nice. And if not, it’s cool. I can just go into the Everfree and snag one of those wooden wolves. Their pups are pretty cute.”

“I-I don’t have any wolves or dogs at the moment. If I can find any, I can try and get it to you!” Fluttershy clapped her hooves. “But do you want a different kind of animal as a pet? I’m certain a bunny would be nice to have.”

“Nah. I’m good. Though thanks for the offer,” I patted the pegasus on the head. “If it wouldn’t be weird, I’d probably say Twilight’s my pet; legally I’m hers, so it’s only fair. I do pet her and occasionally make sure she eats food while she’s studying something.”

“Bob! I’m not an animal!”

“Yes you are. Humans are animals too. You’re smarter, far smarter than the average animal, but biologically speaking, you are a miniature horse.”

“Buck you!” Fluttershy, realizing we were just gonna begin playfully bickering, closed the door before leaving us to yell at each other. On the way, everyone was just watching us playfully go at each other, calling each other insults(something Twilight realized humans do to each other if they’re friends), me holding an apple out of her reach(she didn’t immediately try to grab it with her magic), and overall just joking around. Low and behold, it ended with us in the library, and just cuddling together.

The next day, I went out to that same field I first found Chryssy in, and Chrysalis wasn’t too late in returning either. “You’ve returned rather quickly.”

“Well, I just wanted to see if you’d actually come back.”

“I said I would, and you are a friend of mine. So of course I would jump at the opportunity to see you again. So, why were you out in this field to begin with?”

“I was looking for somewhere to build a house. I like living in Ponyville, but I also like not having, on a weekly basis, a monster destroying town. Or the town nearly burning down because one of my inventions got out to the public before I could put them into mass production. Like I made a bean bag, which is literally just a really fancy cushion, and half of Ponyville went wild and literally burnt down a school over it. Plus not being stared at would be fun.”

“Hmm. I have a solution. DRONES!” six dozen drones came out of nowhere. “Build a house in this field, for this pony, no, you cannot eat him, Kevin!” Chrysalis chuckled. “They didn’t say that; they can actually speak and are intelligent. I just like assuming they said something to tease them; they are my children after all.”

“Wait, you’re actually building me… a house, using your subjects.”

“Yes. I help my friends and return any kindness shown my way. Secondly, visiting you would be easier; ponies don’t like changelings as far as I’m aware. Once your home is built, I will lend you a changeling. It shall be built by the end of today.”

“What?”

“We changelings are incredibly efficient. Your home will have lighting, a pool, both of which will be warmed up by changeling magic.”

“Wait, so if you can use magic as a power source, why don’t ponies do that?”

“You think I know? Changeling magic is purely fueled off of love, whereas ponies require to use their own energy for magic, so that may have to do with it. Your home may eat up into my reserves, but I have a pretty large chunk of love that I can spare for you, and a potential solution for that in the future. And if nothing else, I get a nice summer home should I desire to use it and you don’t.”

“...Is it too late to kiss you?”

“If you did, you’d fatten me up with love so quickly that you’d make my drones jealous.”

“I can hug your changelings.”

“That… would also feed them with love. Magically taking love is… more effective, but we can passively intake love through physical contact. So you kissing or hugging me or a drone would feed us without hurting you.”

“So… If I were to...” I kissed Chrysalis and she burped. “Oh my fucking god, that was so cute!”

“I hate you,” Chrysalis belched again. “Now I have hiccups and will be belching for the next hour,” with that, I went and hugged and petted every single changeling, and all of them burped, which was probably a sign that they were just fully fed. Eventually, I even grabbed a changeling, laid it out in my lap, and started petting it while the others got to work. “So Bob,” Chrysalis hicked. “Is there anything in particular you want in your home?”

“A basement would be nice. Gotta hide dead bodies somehow.” Chrysalis, and several drones actually cracked a laugh.

“Though that will be added, for body hiding purposes, or other uses you may want to use a basement for. Nothing else?”

“Do I have to pay you guys? I will if necessary.”

“We don’t need money; you don’t need money if your entire economy is based on food, which is love. And you just fed all of us,” the changeling in my lap said. “And you’re constantly petting me, sir. Are you trying to make me fat?”

“It’s not my fault that you’re fucking cute… you got a name right?”

“My name is Gengar, sir.”

“Well, Gengar, you’re adorable. Do I need anymore of a reason to pet you?”

“I…” Awe, he’s blushing!

“D’aww, you’re so cute!” Gengar was blushing even fucking harder now. “Can I keep you? I wouldn’t mind keeping a changeling if all I gotta do is love the hell out of them.”

“If the Queen lets you keep me, I would not mind… being constantly fed would be nice.”

“Well Gengar, you are now Bob’s changeling. You are still a part of the Hive, but Bob is your caretaker. Enjoy! Though just remember, if I desire Bob’s attention, I take priority over you.”

“Of course, your Highness.”

So that’s how I spent the rest of the day, with a changeling in my lap, just watching my house be built. At some point, Gengar learnt of my desire to have a pet wolf, and became one for a little bit just to see if that would please me. It did the job. Like he became a fluffy gray wolf and just let me pet him more, with the promise of finding me a proper gray wolf in the future should I want it. Of course, I said I would, and then started rubbing Gengar’s belly.

That broke his focus, and by extension, his disguise. So changelings needed to be focused to keep a disguise, good to know! And changelings are even bigger sluts for belly rubs than ponies are apparently.

“So Bob,” I looked up from Gengar, who was curled up in my lap and looking cute. “How do you like your new home?” I looked up and my jaw dropped. Sitting before me was a house that I’d typically see in Ponyville, but with a black, main body and a fenced in front yard. “In the basement is another room with the pool in it. It has magic fueling it,” there were street lamps that looked eerily similar to actual, human street lamps. “Lighting, heating; it should always be perfectly warm, without it being too hot or too cold… So again, how do you like your new house?”

I carefully set aside my sleeping changeling before standing up and stared Chrysalis directly in the eyes. “Chrysalis...” I started slightly walking up to the bug until I was right in her face.

“Bob? You are scaring me- oh!” I pulled Chrysalis into a hug. That got a cute noise outta her. I flopped us both onto the ground and kept on hugging her. “So… Do you like your house?”

“Chrysalis, you need to let me pay you money. Like jesus fucking christ, Chrysalis! This is probably the nicest thing anybody’s done for me!”

“Well, you did just pay everybody here with love, Bob. Trust me when I say that you’ve paid me, and my drones already.”

“Fuck… Now you make me wish changelings found me instead of ponies. Y’all are fucking awesome…” I kept holding Chrysalis until eventually I was toured the house by her and her ‘lings… Needless to say, the house was cooler on the inside, with it having furniture and everything… I slowly turned to Chrysalis when I noticed that my bed was probably the comfiest bed I’ve had beside my bean bag. “Chrysalis, I am sending you, and your entire Hive, bean bags. You will know comfort like no other… and it’ll help me pay this off; I feel like I’m in debt to you even if you say I’m not.” Chrysalis just giggled.

“Well, I would not be opposed to being given free things, Bob. I’m glad you enjoy your house!” Chrysalis planted a kiss on my forehead before prancing out, followed by her drones that were equally as happy.

“Sir, I think you made the Queen fall in love with you at some point,” Gengar said from his recliner(yes, he got his own chair). “The last time anyling’s seen the Queen prance, or even be happy, was when she fell in love with someling nearly a hundred years ago…”

“...Shit. Well, if I end up dating ponies, Chrysalis wouldn’t be so bad.”

Author's Note

bug horses best horses.