Kind Hands

Well, today had been a bit of a bust. I’d let my emotions get the better of me, and, despite Mrs. Velvet’s reassurance, I’d managed to ruin a lovely family dinner. Eve, Eva- Twilight too, considering how her mental age changes scene-by-scene: none of them needed to see that.

But that time was behind us now; Ponyville awaited us as we sat once again in a rather familiar-feeling train carriage with the titular town in our sights. I didn’t know what time it was, what the weather was, what my name was…I wanted to go back to bed- and to be alone, to be honest. Solitude is so hard to come by sometimes.

Obviously, that wasn’t going to happen, and I’m not too sure why I keep mentioning it. Ironically, my party had increased in size as Twilight sat opposite me, noticeably calmer now that she’d escaped from her parents’ confusingly-motivated clutches.

“I still think that we should’ve said our goodbyes to your family,” I remarked to the mare, who showed a remarkable level of composure at the trauma that she’d been through. So much so, that she lay back across the seat-bench thing that she found herself on, gazing up at the ceiling with a defeated expression.

“I’m so sorry about today,” she reaffirmed once again. She’d done that a lot on the journey to the station. Interestingly, now that I’d simmered down from my little strop, my head was relatively clear, leaving Twilight to suffer on her own. “I shouldn’t have made you come.”

It was strange seeing her like this- so…defeated, I suppose. This was different from her usual awkward energy. I guess there was no energy at all. “Lighten up, kiddo. It was an interesting day out, after all,” I reassured the mare to little effect. I poked at one of her forelegs as it hung limply off the side of her seat, again eliciting barely a flinch.

“But I ruined your day off…”

That was true. I wasn’t going to tell her that, but…mental note. Did I have anything planned that day? I don’t know. I think something was in my drink. It was my turn to lay back now as I also struggled to put today behind me, albeit for different reasons than Twilight. “At least I didn’t get killed…”

I really should stop talking about my imminent death when on a train journey, as Twilight, like Fairfeather before her, seemed to take this comment to heart. The way she showed this, though, was quite different. Without warning, I felt a sudden weight drop onto my crotch as Twilight seemed to deem it necessary to sit there. “Don’t get yourself hurt this time, okay?” she flat-out told me, though she lacked authority in her voice.

It was a mystery as to whether she understood the implications of sitting in such an area, even when dealing with such an apparently grave topic, but I think she did. “You taking your parents’ advice a bit more seriously now, Twilight?” I teased her, placing my hands on her sides and pushing her hips back slightly. Thank God there was no one else in here.

“Shut up,” the mare amusedly fired back, having now completely lost any power behind her words as she allowed herself to be rocked back-and-forth. Of course, she couldn’t look at me. The floor must’ve been much easier for her to set her sights on. Her gaze was evasive; her blush was apparent- but she didn’t stop me.

I guess instincts take over after a while because I didn’t feel like giving in either, even as my own body temperature continued to rise. With every push, my hands wandered further down the mare’s body, soon coming into contact with the soft flesh on her flanks.

I instantly felt her muscles clench as I made contact. Looking up at Twilight, she continued to glance off to the side as she bit her lip and scrunched her face up in concentration. I’m not sure whether this had happened recently or not, but her hair had fallen mostly out of place, leaving her bangs to haphazardly fall in front of her face.

The figure that filled my vision painted a picture of carelessness- the disengagement of the mind. As her head idly bobbed back-and-forth, every unkempt strand of hair appeared to be a miniature paintbrush that contributed to a portrait that I was desperate to see at its completion.

Suddenly, she forced herself to make eye contact with me. With impossibly wide eyes, she uneasily stared down at me, mouth agape as she made a split-second decision. Up until this moment, I never would’ve believed that my heart could beat as quickly as it currently did as I realised what she was planning to do.

Surely, I can’t do this.

We’re not the same.

She’s not like me.

What is she to you, David?

Any relationship would never work.

Then why does it feel so-

“What are you doing?” a tired voice called out from beside. Oh fuck- I forgot about the kids. Eve to be precise, as she must’ve awoken from her little nap a short distance away. I think she was asleep at least. Please tell me she was asleep.

Either way, as if we were in a mediocre rom-com, Twilight and I’s…special time was abruptly cut short by a child’s innocent intervention.

“We’re…allowing the day’s events to get the better of us,” I admitted, pushing Twilight from her perch above my crotch and watching her fall lifelessly onto the seat beside me as if she’d been turned to stone. That was a close one- a little bit too close to me doing something that I’d regret. Love ya for that one, Eve. “How you feeling, littlun?”

“Tired.”

Well, she didn’t comment on anything, so that was probably a good sign. Stuff like that is impossible enough for a child to understand at the best of times, so seeing that might’ve caused the poor girl’s head to catch fire. Or maybe she was just tired- she said so at least. That’s one of the things I hate about being on the move so much: you can never go to bed when you want to.

“I know, I know. You can go to bed soon,” I reassured the little one as she made her obligatory shuffle towards me. Naturally, Eva was in tow, and the mere sight of her brought the memories from that lunch right back to me. I don’t think she’d be able to understand what she did for me. I’m so overrun right now.

My head was so fucked.

“And what about you, cherub? You saved me earlier- brought me back a little bit,” I beckoned the eager inquisitor. She didn’t answer me verbally, and I didn’t need her to do so; her body pressing against mine was all I needed. Words certainly weren’t her primary method of communication.

Although Twilight wasn’t doing much better. I don’t even think she’d moved yet. That little interruption must’ve really taken the wind out of her sails. “Come on, Twilight. Come on back to us,” I egged on the prone mare as she looked just about ready to get moving.

“What’s wrong with her?” Eve bluntly asked as she pointed a thumb over her shoulder. It was funny to look at Twilight’s overreaction. You’re such an idiot, you purple fuzzball.

“She’s been through a lot today, too.”

“Is she okay?” Eva added. She looked to be a little more invested in Twilight’s predicament than Eve was, and she spent a good while observing the mare throughout her recovery process.

“She’ll be fine,” I reassured the duo with a couple of pats on Twilight’s arse. “Absolutely fine.” Once again, I could feel her muscles tense as my hand connected with her flank. One day I might be able to get a better grip of…oh, bloody hell, I’m falling for a horse, aren’t I?

“Why are we back on the train?” Eva asked to snap me out of my trance. Oh yeah- I hadn’t told them anything, had I? Well, here goes nothing. Fingers crossed and all that.

“Because we need to go back to Ponyville so I can do something for the princess,” I explained before clarifying further upon seeing the girls’ reactions. “Hey, no- just for the night. I’ll put you to bed at night and then I’ll be back by the time you get up in the morning. I want no more theatrics- you know how it went last time, so don’t worry.”

The results of this were hardly astounding- but they were better. Eva didn’t look as if her family had just been murdered in front of her, and Eve just looked a bit pissed off if I’m honest.

“Okay…” the pair unanimously agreed- and that was good enough for me. I wasn’t leaving until tomorrow evening anyway- there’ll be more time for the news to settle this time.

“Care to tell me why Princess Celestia sends you on these dangerous adventures?” came the voice of Twilight, oddly smug considering that she was in a coma about two minutes ago. I wasn’t letting her get away with that.

“You’ve perked up,” I teased the intruder, eliciting another pretty little blush. “Listen, I’m under strict instructions to keep my lips sealed. Probably. I’m sure you can understand that I can’t just not do what I’ve been told.” I sat back with my arms crossed to show everyone that I was speaking from a shaky position of superiority.

“Hasn’t stopped you before,” Eve commented matter-of-factly. She didn’t even look at me as she broke my ego, happy to just glance at her shoes as she swung her legs.

“And you don’t do what Mrs. Stuart tells you to,” Eva elaborated. Such nerve. It all seemed a bit unfair- ganging up on me like that.

“I always do what Mrs. Stuart tells me to do. Stops me from getting kicked out.”

“What about when you get us clean paper from the printer so that we don’t have to use the rough paper?”

“You should be grateful of that. I tell you every time that I shouldn’t be doing it.”

“And yet you do it anyway,” Twilight concluded with a smile.

“They’re too cute,” I explained. I gestured to the duo in question, who looked back at me with the most adorable pair of smiles. “And you should stop asking if you know it’s bad,” I quickly added, pointing a finger accusingly at the little ones as they started to giggle along.

“But do come back. Or I’ll be mad. You wouldn’t like me when I’m mad,” Twilight suddenly interjected, though still lacking much force behind what her statements. She sounded like a little kid, somehow simultaneously complimenting and clashing heavily with the mental image of that weird little dance she was doing with Cadence earlier today. ‘Do a little shake’ indeed.

“Ah, yes- we’ve witnessed, first-hand, your authoritarianism.”

Good news, everyone: it was time for another day out. After a thankfully uneventful- for Twilight’s standards, at least- evening and following morning, the purple alicorn had expressed her desire to show me around town. See the sights and whatever-the-hell.

And then off she went. Just like that. I certainly felt more comfortable with Twilight being my guide now. Things could never be worse than that awful walk to Rarity’s.

My new guide refused to tell me where we’d be going, only telling me that it’d be a place that both me and my little ones would surely enjoy. I didn’t know Twilight was such a kid-whisperer. That doesn’t…actually, maybe it does sound like something she’d do.

Regardless, we were on the move- calm, rested and…oh, Eve was running off again. Well, only momentarily, and she suddenly stopped in front of a small building- and it was clear to see why. What a strange looking place. It smelled divine, but it looked to be made of something strange. Something unexpected. It looked suspiciously like…what did I hate baking again?

Oh, you’re fu-

“Gingerbread!” Eve cried out to the heavens. Well, it’s only fitting, I suppose, that in a land of pretty pink and purple ponies that there was a house made entirely out of sweet treats.

I was expecting to be thrust into a chase scene, but Eve was having a hard time getting going, running on the spot like the speed that she was preparing to go at was so incalculable that it required some kind of wind-up animation.

“No,” I defied the girl’s wonder by grabbing her arm. Thank God that she was so overawed by the spectacle that she hadn’t gotten Eva involved. “We are not American. We will enter the sugar cake-house with dignity and respect.”

“Huh? Can we go in?” Eve answered back, missing the point.

“This is Sugarcube Corner: home of the best sweet treats in Ponyville,” Twilight explained without anyone asking. I’ll admit: my sweet tooth started calling out to me as I was ready to collapse into the waiting arms of whatever-the-hell qualifies for ‘sweet treats’ around here. No doubt it included stuff like…

“Like gingerbread…” Eve breathed.

“Like gingerbread…” Eva concurred.

“…Like gingerbread?” I sought to confirm. What was it with gingerbread? Like, it’s good, but it’s not worth obsessing over like this.

“Like gingerbread,” Twilight confirmed. She wandered over to me, making an effort to step around the river of drool that was coming out of the little ones’ mouths. “I always feel better whenever I come to Sugarcube corner, and I thought you could use a pick-me-up.”

“You buy stuff from here?” I asked the mare, who nodded in affirmation. “That’s surprising. You seem more like a ‘coffee with cigarettes’ kind of person.”

Twilight didn’t seem to be particularly pleased with this assumption. I know this because she ‘accidentally’ squeezed on my arm as I held Eve down, allowing her to wriggle free and scamper into Sugarcube Corner. With Eve disappearing from sight, Eva also found no reason to stay and went in after her sister.

“You did that on purpose,” I grumbled as I rubbed at my stinging forearm. Twilight must’ve had a lot of confidence in the girls’ ability to not get themselves killed if she was willing to unleash them over such a petty reason. Not what I’d expect from Twilight Light.

“Your foals are getting away…” she reminded me with a sly smile. Ooh, she didn’t even try to hide it. I see how it works. Just you wait.

“No more cigarettes for you, missy.”

It was easy to find the girls: just look where everyone else was looking. I guess that’s one of the benefits of being a comparative freak-of-nature: you’re pretty hard to miss. So, I went over to the pair as they were getting ready to sink their teeth into what the building had to offer.

“It might not be real ging- no: don’t eat the pillars!”

Great. Now everyone was looking at me. Thankfully, though, that included the little ones, who delayed any attempts to chow down on the foundations. “If they were real gingerbread, someone would’ve eaten them by now,” I explained to them.

“Like me!” called out a loud, squeaky voice behind me.

“Oh, Jesus!”

I instinctively jumped away from the new intruder, smacking the back of my head on Twilight as I hurtled towards the floor. Eventually, I got a good look at this new pony, although I had a hard time doing so due to her inability to stand still. She was some pink thing: puffy and always bouncing as if it was a survival instinct. Think ‘sharks always need to move forward’ and you’ll kind of get the idea.

She seemed like a cheery soul; maybe a bit low on the ol’ attention span, but we’ve all been there. As expected, she did well to captivate the little ones, as they made an immediate rush to place their hands all over the mare’s pink fur, placing their fingers in every furrow they could find.

The pink one thankfully paid this no mind- although she’d ceased her bouncing as she prepared to eloquently elaborate on her introduction. “But that wouldn’t work. Even if I was hungry- like, suuuuuper hungry- like ‘oh my gosh I’m gonna explode from the crippling emptiness inside’ kinda hungry, I couldn’t do it ‘cause it’d go *bloosh* and then a *Wazoom* and then we’d go *bleghhh*!”

She ended her manic elaboration by drooping herself down- quite literally in fact, as her mane seemed to deflate with a slight squeak. I didn’t understand a word that she said as she fired them out with no regard for how it would all look if it was ever written out. I could see where this was going, so I did the responsible thing and pushed myself off the ground and headed for the door.

“No!” Twilight cried, having spotted my retreat and grabbing my arm accordingly. “You’re not going anywhere! This is Pinkie Pie,” she continued. “She’s our signature laughter expert. Nopony’s happier than Pinkie Pie.”

Although I found Twilight’s dialogue to be quite stilted, this ‘Pinkie Pie’ person seemed alright. I just hope that she has more social awareness than Twilight does. “…Nice to see you, Pinkie Pie,” I tepidly began, hating how ridiculous my life sounded in that moment. “Lovely place you’ve got he- would you two please unhand the poor lady: she’s not yours to cling onto.”

“But she’s so pretty…” Eve reasoned as she rubbed her face in Pinkie Pie’s pinkie pink fur. Eva, however, seemed to have sensed something as she began to separate from her entranced sister and wander back to me. Still, it caused Miss Pie to puff herself back up again.

“Somepony’s never had a pinch of a Pinkie Pie!” the titular Pie proclaimed with a slightly predatory level of enthusiasm. A notch or two away from having an unmarked van parked outside the property.

“Don’t refer to yourself in the third person,” I beseeched Pinkie as I peeled Eve away from her. The little girl gave far more resistance to this action than I was expecting. “Somebody should’ve taught you self-restraint,” I added, trying to drag Eve out of her pink-tinted haze.

“I think that’s your job,” Twilight smugly stated. Oh dear, Twilight: you were in for some shit soon- courtesy of our pink friend here.

“Ooh…”

“That didn’t warrant an ‘ooh…’”

“…This is the stallion you were talking about, Twilight!” Pinkie Pie continued to herself before pointing at me. “She’s been yap-yap-yapping all the time about you- you know: the dates, the foals, about how your family’s dead…”

“Pinkie…” Twilight warned, in a way that felt painfully familiar. It seemed that everywhere the poor alicorn went, some cataclysmic force sought to embarrass her in every way possible. This time, of course, it was the pinkster, as we were all about to bear witness to a mare’s melted mind ever-so graciously flow out of their mouth.

“Is she your special somepony? How long have you been together? Have I met you before? I’m sure I’ve met you before…”

I wasn’t going to deal with this. Feeling an incredible urge to go the toilet, I made another attempt at an escape but was quickly thwarted by Eva, who held onto me and solemnly shook her head in the strongest display of ‘this is a nightmare’ that she could muster. This didn’t stop our pink friend from bouncing off the walls as she continued her interrogation.

“Ooh, I get it: you’re playing dumb. Or maybe you’re taking it slow- y’know: ‘cause Twilight’s never had a special somepony. Poor Twilight. She’s so nervous about what to say, what to do…Look how nervous she is: she can’t even move! Sigh…”

“…Did you just say ‘sigh’ out loud?”

She just kept going. It was insane. She was like some sort of verbal whirlpool- taking every word there was and sucking them all into this quantity-over-quality mass of low-hanging bollocks.

I looked over to Twilight to find that the alicorn was indeed rooted to the spot, although probably not for the reasons Pinkie- oh God: she was starting again…

“Buuut…you look like you know what you’re doing. You wear the pants. Get it? ‘Cause ponies don’t wear pants. Do you think Twilight would look good in pants? I think Twilight would be the best…”

I’m gonna spare you some of this dialogue because, Christ, we could be here for hours. Let’s just skip to the good bit.

“…Have you had a special somepony before? Twilight wouldn’t like that. That’d make her jealous! Or mad. You wouldn’t like her when she’s mad! She’s scary!” Pinkie Pie arguably explained before she bounced right into my face and pressed one of her hooves on my trousers’ waistband. “P.S.: she wants to see how big your-”

“Stop! Twilight screeched upon apparently reaching her limit. With an audible “whoop!”, Pinkie was hoisted into the air and held upside down in Twilight’s magic, where she, naturally, continued to fucking talk.

“Did somepony say something? What did I say? What did you say, Twilight’s special somepony?”

Mental illness must’ve been a serious epidemic in Equestria; everyone’s got something wrong with them. Whether this world exists in a similar vein to that SpongeBob theory where every character is one of the deadly sins or not...I don’t know. Don’t ask me- I only work here.

“I have no idea what a special somepony is, means, or could be- and now’s not the time to be talking about this,” I clarified with a strong shake of the arms. I mean, I did know. I think. It seemed pretty obvious, but it’d be better for everpony if I just played dumb. Although I’m sure I could only be so dense for so long. “Can we just…slow down for a moment please?”

“Okie dokie. We’ll keep it slooooooow,” Pinkie reassured me, still floating in front of my face, and incredibly calm considering the circumstances. She stayed true to her word as well, speaking at such a slow pace that no level of word-elongation could ever do her justice. I wasn’t impressed.

“I want to die.”

“Suuuuuper duuuuuper sloooooooow.”

“I hate this story.”

I needed to get away from this- and thankfully, I was given a lifeline. Catching their movements in the corner of my eye, I followed the little ones as they inevitably left me again to press their faces into the sweet display. Luckily, a steamed-up pane of glass separated them from their future snack, but I still knew that I’d be spending a lot of money in this place.

“You can’t just keep running off,” I calmly chastised the duo, more defeated than anything. I bet Pinkie Pie feasts on childish enthusiasm like some sort of impetuous vampire.

“But look,” Eve attempted to reason to me. “They’ve got cookies and cupcakes and cakes with icing and cookies with icing and-”

I hoisted the girl away from the desserts and back to reality. “They might do, but that doesn’t mean they’re for us,” I explained, hopefully stating the obvious. Eve sagged a bit in response to this. But I knew what she was like, and, more importantly, she knew what I was like, so it was only a matter of time before she began to try again.

“But I want one…”

“Don’t make me say the line.”

“What line?”

“That ‘I want’ doesn’t get.”

“That doesn’t mean anything,” Eva explained to me, neutral to a fault as she continued to lean on the glass in front of her.

“It does when I’m paying.”

“But you said you’d get me something,” Eve added, picking up from where her sister had left off.

“When did I say that?”

“When you went to do the thing you did. You said you’d get me something.”

“…”

“Did you forget?” Eva questioned, still difficult to read, and still attached to the display.

“You forgot!” Eve declared with more positivity than I was expecting.

“Now you owe us!” Eva happily concurred. It seemed that the concept of someone being in debt to them was rather appealing. Maybe set off by the optimism in the air, I became aware of Pinkie Pie’s presence once more as she continued to witter on, hanging in the air behind me.

“…But I need to get back to work. I can’t make anything when I’m like this. Let’s go!”

And so, still in suspension, the pink one just…walked off. While still upside down. And with nothing to push off of. She broke free from her restraints…purely because she wanted to. Fuck me.

And Twilight didn’t seem too bothered with the sodomy of her magical shackles. She’d gotten herself in order and was happy to come and join us. “Lunch is on me!” the little alicorn declared, hoisting up a small bag of bits that she must’ve been carrying in some sodden depository.

“Don’t buy their affection,” I calmly admonished, placing a hand on Twilight’s head. An instinctive mane-ruffling followed, after which the mare in my grasp looked up at me smugly.

“Do you want to pay?”

“No…”

“Then, I’m buying your affection!”

“I thought it was ‘their affection’, Twilight.”

“What did I say?”

I have nothing of value to add at this point. “I’m going outside,” I announced before- predictably- being stopped once more.

“Are you paying or not?” Eve asked me as she hung from my arm, one wrong move away from ripping it from my shoulder.

“No, I’m not,” I countered. “Turns out, Twilight is.”

“Twilight is what?”

“I don’t…She-she’s paying. She’s paying, Eva.”

After ordering some random desserts, which Twilight was reluctant to do now that she was paying, I could be found slumped over at a small table in Sugarcube Corner. It was the allure of something sweet that brought me to this little place, and so far, the prospect of some sugar was the only thing keeping me here.

But fuck me, they were good. I hadn’t been in Equestria for long enough to lose a disproportionate amount of weight yet, but I’d been starved of sugar for like…four days or something, so I was ready to devour all the chocolate, vanilla, and whatever else that stood in my way.

A vanilla milkshake, to be precise. One with…two straws in it. Imagine my surprise…if only because Twilight also seemed confused by this development. I have learned ostensibly that she’s never been a very good liar, and the way that she blankly stared at the oncoming beverage suggested that she was just as unenthused as I was.

“Did you do that?” I tentatively asked my purple friend. She merely shook her head, albeit incredibly rapidly, seemingly at a loss for words. Sharing Twilight’s pain, my heart had picked up the pace at this point, but I felt like having a bit of a play. “Do you want to share?”

As I asked this question, the events of the previous night periodically played back to me, as if they were projected onto my eyelids every time I closed my eyes. The look on her face; the warmth of her breath; the feel of her on my fingers.

I couldn’t discern how it all made me feel, but I doubted that my companion would be much better. The mare wordlessly accepted my offer by beginning to move herself towards one of the straws. Yet, just as she was about to start sucking…

“I wanna share!”

Ah yes. Obviously reluctant to settle with her assortment of desserts, Eve had found something wrong with the situation. She wrenched the milkshake from Twilight before presenting it to me with both hands. “For you,” she explained while attempting the perilous task of holding the beverage aloft while also trying to drink it herself.

“That’s not yours to give,” I reasoned as I took the milkshake from her. “Have your cupcakes.”

“Why can’t I have that?”

“Because it’s not yours. Simple.”

“Can you buy me one, then?”

The girl’s desire to take away my dessert was lost on me. You’re damn right that I kept it away from her, although the opportunity for Twilight-teasing had likely passed. I don’t know why Eve had suddenly become so possessive.

Oh, and then Pinkie Pie showed up again. Y’know if you’re ever feeling the heat and you need somebody to bring you back down with some reassurance and agreeable conversation, you can always rely on…what was it? Our signature laughter expert? Christ, this is such a mess…

“Here’s another one!” Pinkie announced, carrying an identical milkshake on her back- two straws and all. This had the potential of adding to the conflict, but I instead saw it as a way of eliminating it altogether.

“If I have this, can you have that?” I asked Eve, using my hands to highlight the deal.

“Can I have yours?” she quickly asked me straight back. She looked at me with such innocent joy in an exchange that I had a habit of losing.

“Okay, if I have that, can you have this?”

“Can I have yours?”

“We’re going round in circles. I don’t see why-”

“Share with me!”

I was taken aback as Eve screamed at me, drawing the attention of not only myself, but the people around us. The sound caused me to jump, and for what reason? From the look on the girl’s face, it didn’t even look like she meant it. “I’m sorry,” she had added almost immediately, as if her mind had caught up with her emotions.

“Don’t raise your voice at me…” I quietly warned the little one, feeling my heartrate quicken for a moment. I glared down at her as she glanced back uneasily. Looking at her, it was clear from her expression that there wasn’t any point taking this further, so I offered her the drink that she so desperately wanted to share.

Eve kept an eye on me as she warily accepted the invitation with a slurp. “Don’t drink all of it,” I calmly reminded her as I watched the smile return to her face. There was some enjoyment in that smile, so I took that as a sign that I should dig in as well.

The milkshake itself was divine, but I wasn’t allowed to savour it for long, as, predictably, Eva appeared out of nowhere to proudly thrust a straw of her own into the drink. I don’t know how all of them fit, but my beloved milkshake promptly disappeared at an alarming rate.

Still, that left one milkshake all alone, neglected. I didn’t feel as if I had the stomach for it in that moment- but that certainly didn’t dissuade my pink friend. Just as the situation resolved itself, she snapped into reality behind me and lightly pushed my head towards Twilight’s, whom I admired in her silence. “Try it…”

“You’re a borderline sex pest,” I commented as I felt my face flush. This was stupid- and outrageously taxing- but fuck it. “Come on- let’s do it, Twilight. Get over yourself.”

“I think I’ll pass…er, if that’s okay with you,” the mare stammered in response. “I want to talk about what’s happening tonight- now that we’re in a good place.”

Pinkie Pie took that as her cue to leave, disappearing back to whence she came. Still, that’s the reason we came here. Twilight actually thought of a good plan for once. She’s such a smarty when she wants to be.

“What about it?” I quizzed the mare, needing more information from her. I didn’t want to look at the little ones, as I was hoping that we could keep this as positive and stress-free as possible.

“Don’t get yourself killed.”

All eyes snapped straight to Twilight as she laid out her thoughts. “I just…with your arm and you haven’t been back for long and they’re sending you out again and…I would never want you to disobey the princess’ orders, but…”

She’d started off so strong, but her strength seemed to dissipate with every ellipsis. All that gusto just to sit there wordlessly, begging for an answer. “You’re just a slightly more eloquent child- you know that?” I reassured the mare as I moved to close the distance between us.

Or at least, I tried; it’s hard to move about when you’ve got two children dragging you down at all times. Thankfully, Twilight did much of the moving for me, pulling herself closer before grabbing my hands with her forehooves. With this, she offered another piece of advice:

“Please don’t get hurt…”

“Relax…” I replied, doing my best to lean back despite the two children anchoring me to the ground. “It’ll be like last time.”

“Yes- last time,” Twilight responded, gripping my left arm and gently lifting it in her magic. She rubbed at my skin, nearly setting the hairs on my arm alight from the friction. “You’re not taking this seriously!”

I worked to free my arm from the mare’s magical grasp, but I didn’t really know where to start. “Okay, maybe that wasn’t the best way of phrasing it,” I conceded. “It’ll be fine; I’ll just do this stupid thing and then I- ow: that’s my ribs, that’s my ribs, that’s my ribs!”

I reeled in pain from the sudden pressure against my ribcage. I instinctively went to smack the attacker, stopping once I heard her squee in delight. “I’m not letting you leave!” Eva cried out in joy for whatever reason, paying no mind to how much pain her elbow was causing.

“You have to stay here!” Eve concurred, I suppose. They didn’t seem bothered by the dour conversation in the slightest. Maybe we should have milkshakes more often.

“See- they’re taking it better than you,” I told Twilight with a smile. I was hoping that this would lighten the mood, but I was obviously mistaken.

“That’s because…” the mare replied before cutting herself off with a sigh. “There’s a lot of dangerous creatures in the Everfree Forest. Please just tell me that you’ll try to be careful- even if you don’t mean it.”

“What do you take me for?” I sarcastically questioned. Again, I desperately wanted to find some joy within this exchange. There was none to be found, so I took a moment before adding something that I should’ve said in the first place. “I’ll try. I guess I shouldn’t overthing thinks…er, overthink things.”

This made Twilight giggle a bit, although I didn’t know if the positivity would last. But she needn’t’ve been so worried; I’d be back for the kids before she even knew that I was gone. Maybe she knew that, or maybe she was only psyching herself up as she offered a final comment.

“I’m rooting for you.”