Demon Bonds

The day at court was over before long, and the nobles were none the wiser about my plans to upend their little power structure and notions of grandeur. They could play their game of one-upping each other and intimidating those they thought beneath themselves; I had my mind set on far more worthwhile goals.

Dinner was a relatively quiet affair since the somber mood and stress of court drama drained the energy right out of us. Sunset was absent from the dinner table, probably lurking around the library's forbidden section. I bet she was planning her evil takeover of Equestria as its sole princess to get Aunt Jellycelly to admit she was her mother (or something along those lines, anyway).

Cadance and I grabbed a couple of relevant books for our self-studying and hung out in her suite until it was time to go to bed. I had no problem giving Shining Armor nightmares about Cadance frying his brain with lightning for daring to ask her out without the pink nephilim noticing a thing. That was the fun part about being better at dreamwalking than her: I only needed to touch a dreamer's door to turn their mind against them with the worst kind of fears they already harbored.

It was even easier since I had been tormenting the poor guy with visions of rejection from his 'one true love' (as if). He had it coming for him, seriously. He was the one still making dreamy faces at lunch (and everywhere else, for that matter). The idiot colt couldn't get more pathetic clinging on to his fantasies like that. If he kept this up, he would still pine after her well into his fifties.

Damn the shitty aftertaste in my mouth, though. I was starting to feel bad for him. I had to admit, though, he was a nice guy under the nerdy façade and the fucking horniness. If I hadn't known any better, I would have even gone so far as to say that he was good relationship material, but the point still stood: he was a mortal. Cadance and I were not. And that wasn't even taking his age into account. He was a bit too immature, just like the rest of the nerd gang.

It was not going to work out the way he thought it would. For one thing, I was not into submissive stallions; I liked fighting for dominance and getting dicked down by someone stronger than me. Don't get me wrong, I also liked putting a stallion in their place, but I didn't enjoy having them give up without so much as putting up a fight. Same thing for other mares; it was just no fun if you always won. A bit of competition made things spicier.

Maybe if he followed through with his dream of becoming a royal guardin a few years. But until then, he had some growing up to do, and I would prefer it if he didn't do it thinking he had a pair of princesses waiting for him.

Let's be honest: Shining Armor, Eight Bit, Gaffer, and Poindexter were lost causes. They were wimps, one more insecure than the other. So, tough luck finding a mare willing to put up with them. Sucked to be them, didn't it? I wouldn't pity any of them; that wasn't my kind of schtick. Whiny incels were fucking cringe.

Wednesday and Thursday passed by relatively quiet compared to the shitty start to the week. Coffee Pot gave us a research assignment into Germaneigh's culture. I decided to look into all the different dialects they spoke over there (there were a fuck ton of those), impressing him with my dedication alone. I ignored the grumbles of 'Teacher's pet' I got for that and just focused on doing my best to get full marks. What did I care if everyone else thought I was trying to curry favor with the balding, Bavaria-obsessed guy? Cadance and I had the ridiculous expectation placed on us to be perfect in every subject. Any less, and Arcane Sigil would give us extra work after school. Meaning that we would have to sacrifice our free time during the weekends if we performed to subpar standards. 'Good enough' wasn't good enough for our tutor.

Yes, it was unfair, but that was what I got for accepting my place as a princess. Ponies were going to rely on us, and that meant not slacking off while we still had the time to make mistakes from time to time. So, I kept the complaints to myself and did the extra work like the good girl I was supposed to be now (I couldn't help but snort at that thought—me and 'good girl' was such a novel thought it should have sounded utterly ridiculous, but... I kinda liked the idea).

Anyway, on Friday, we continued our game night from last week, and Twilight joined us down in the basement again. I was less enthusiastic about playing Ogres and Oubliettes, though. However, it wasn't half bad once we joined forces and thwarted Obsidian's plans to destroy the world and whatnot. Eight Bit was right; it was much more fun as long as everyone was involved simultaneously.

I mainly stuck around the following weeks because Twilight had a great time playing pretend. Her dream of becoming a mage wasn't just a fancy of our roleplaying game, though. She wanted to become this generation's Starswirl the Bearded (hence the similar appearance of her Ogres and Oubliettes character; the cape and pointy hat were his signature garbs).

I thought it was adorable and admirable of her to have such an ambitious dream. No wonder she was so studious; being accepted to take the entrance exam at Aunty's school required a lot of knowledge. Not only would the exam require theoretical knowledge but also an understanding of the practical application of unicorn magic. It wasn't simply done by answering a few questions on a sheet of paper; the examiners specifically tested the applicant's ability to keep a cool head under duress.

Obviously, I gave Twilight all the tips I could give her. The practical examination depended on the measured magical strength of the pony taking the entrance exam. Below a certain point, it was practically impossible to complete the basic test of making a flower bloom, but that wasn't the point of testing the applicant. Very few even knew how to cast such a spell—let alone cast it at that age—it was a test of whether or not the potential student would panic and try random magic or ask for help and instructions on how to achieve their goal.

The real test was seeing if the student was too prideful to admit they needed help, not if they could complete the task. It was a question of whether the student knew their limits and wasn't too shy to approach their future teachers to explain the spell they wanted to learn. It was also a lesson about the willingness to learn and the restraint to not immediately try casting something they didn't fully comprehend. A pony who didn't ask questions and forwent research to cast a spell they didn't know and/or understood was in the wrong place at Auntlestia's School for Gifted Unicorns. The ponies they taught there would become researchers and mages of the arcane arts when they grew up. Those who failed to understand this basic concept weren't yet mature enough to attend a prestigious magic academy.

Then, there were the ponies who were able to cast the spell. Those would go on and get tested with a different test afterward. They were told to cast an accelerated growth spell on a dragon egg. It was basically impossible to hatch an unfertilized egg, much less a magic-resistant egg laid by a dragon. Unless you knew the advanced version of the spell that could spark the creation of life (and had a fuck ton of magic to spare), you wouldn't be able to hatch the egg. And that was fine; the lesson was still the same. I told Twilight not to try anything stupid on her own, and if she didn't know what to do, there was no shame in admitting she needed help.

Aside from that, Cadance and I hung out on the weekend and went to see our first movie in the theater. It was a romantic comedy that was decently entertaining; nothing really to write home about. It was a cliché storyline of a mare and stallion pretending to be a couple to their parents and friends, then ending up becoming a couple for real at the end of the movie. It had a few scenes where they kissed like a pair of awkward amateurs, which was funny to watch, but the kiss at the end made even me smile. They were cute, finally admitting they loved each other as the sun set over a glittering sea of water in the background before the credits rolled.

Cadance couldn't stop fawning over the romance part of the movie, while I was a little disappointed there were no naughty scenes whatsoever. But that was to be expected; the film was rated for ages twelve and above, not mature audiences. I had no doubt the couples watching the movie would enjoy some alone time later that night, though. There was only so much sexual tension you could ignore before wanting some action yourself (at least in my humble, naughty opinion~).

Speaking of sexual tension, I was going a bit stir-crazy, abstaining from sex for such a long time. Playing around with your own hoof could only satisfy you so much before you wanted someone to stuff their dick in you and fuck you senseless. Perhaps Aunt Celestia and Cadance had a point about giving one of my classmates a chance, but that meant dating, and dating meant asking somepony out. A big fucking no to that. Not to mention, I sure as fuck wouldn't give any of the guys I hung out with a chance. Aside from the unmistakable age gap I felt uncomfortable with, they weren't exactly my type.

Shining Armor had his idea of a perfect romance with a hot girl and getting lucky after a couple of dates (or just one; he wasn't fooling anypony). Which, considering he was majorly into my best friend, would end up with him hurting her feelings and me breaking his bones afterward. If I were to give him of all ponies a chance, I knew he would cheat on me sooner rather than later, and then Cadance would break his bones instead of me. So... a big fat no to that. If he grew out of his incel phase, though? Maybe, but probably not.

Eight Bit was a decent enough guy, though his interests didn't interest me at all. I wasn't into nerd culture, nor did I want to hear him go on endlessly about computer games and so on. I wasn't the kind of girl that pretended to be interested in the same shit he liked if I thought it was boring. And since he talked about nerdy things most of the time, I tended to zone out as soon as he brought up programming languages.

Gaffer was alright, but he was the romantic, chivalrous type. He was all into poetry and shit, while I liked having fun out on the town and reading smutty romance novels instead of adventure stories. I've got nothing against someone being all sweet and nice and romantic, but I had a problem with those wanting a serious relationship. I wasn't into binding myself to someone after what happened on Earth.

Poindexter... let's just say he wasn't my type and leave it at that. He was the nerdiest guy of them all and lacked a spine. That, and he was tiny. I didn't have high standards, but height was one of those things I at least expected to be on the same level as mine. Unless I was going for another mare. But since all mares I knew were either bitches or not serious about their flirting, I doubted it was going to happen.

Cadance might have seemed like the obvious choice, but I knew for a fact that she wasn't considering a relationship with me. Otherwise, she wouldn't try so hard to set me up with the nerd gang whenever she got the chance. That, and... well... serious relationships and all that crap. She was a major romantic, through and through. She got this idea of a big wedding, getting married to some Prince Charming or whatever, and having a kid or two. Nothing I really wanted to interfere with, to be honest. It sounded great, not going to lie, but it wasn't my kind of thing—not after what I had lost on Earth.

Once upon a time, I also dreamed of finding the perfect person to spend my life with. Then, reality fucked me over, and I stopped believing in the concept of true love. After I spent half an eternity in Hell, there was no way that I was going to have a serious relationship ever again—not while I was such a mess. I didn't need to burden anyone with my baggage and emotional trauma and shit. I didn't even want to entertain the possibility of hurting Cadance, much less screwing up our friendship by adding romance to it. I wasn't good (or healthy) relationship material, seriously.

Aunt Celestia... it felt weird imagining her being in a relationship with anyone, to be honest. As far as ponies my own age went, she would be the only one remotely close to my actual age, but compared to her, I still felt like a small child. I could care less about ponies thinking it would be forbidden love or whatever the fuck one wanted to call it. But even if (for some reason) she would give me a chance, I couldn't bring myself to view her in such a way.

I looked up to her, as weird as that thought sounded. She was like... actually my aunt in my eyes. I owed her my life here in Equestria. She gave me a home despite her initial reservations about being a demon. She even took me into her family and treated me like an actual person, completely in a platonic way. And unlike the angel pricks, her heart was in the right place. To defile that... well, I was a demon, but even I felt disgusted by the idea.

Even the thought of Twilight Velvet and Night Light made me feel uncomfortable when I thought of doing anything untoward with either of them. Perhaps my heart wasn't as black as I thought it was.

That still left me feeling like I wanted to have some fun, though. And the only ponies I could think of were maybe the recruits in the Night Guard. There were plenty within an acceptable age range, and I was sure none of them would mind a casual relationship of some harmless fun in the hay. But... not with me looking like I was still underage. There was no chance any of them would even look at me like that, just like I wouldn't look at a minor that way.

It was no wonder the other Lilin treated me like the odd one out. I still held onto my human morality wherever I could. More often than not, it ended up being a burden and a disadvantage, but it was the only thing keeping me from being like them. They were actual monsters that deserved to be in Hell, unlike me. It was a matter of principle, really. The angel pricks made the wrong call, and I ended up unjustly imprisoned in Hell. Proving to myself that I wasn't like all the other demons gave me the hope I needed to keep on going until I ended up here in Equestria. Without that determination, I would have long since become the monster my aunt would have been unable to dismiss.

Disappointing the expectations of my aunt honestly scared me. For once in my damn life, I had something good going on for myself. So, maybe trying to abstain from sex for three years wasn't so bad. It wasn't like I was a sex addict. I didn't need it to survive—not anymore, at least. It would be just for pleasure, nothing more. You know, the thing I was named after and was made the princess of? Yeah, that.

I wasn't doing a very good job of living up to my cutie mark as of late, was I? Not that I had it for very long yet. Despite that, I felt a deep connection to it that only ever matched my thirst for sex.

Would it really be so bad to indulge myself a little bit? I had ways to get a young stallion to throw caution to the wind. I could just... convince them it was okay. All it would take was one kiss, poisoning their judgment with my succubus charm, and then—

No. No, Ishtar. Stop. You're letting Cadance get into your head. Resist the temptation. I wasn't going to become weak now and seduce a thick, virile, juicy—

Ngh. I sighed, shaking my head. Stupid, sexy night guards. I needed a distraction, fast. Preferably one of the mind-numbing variety. Now, that was a thought I could get behind; I could indulge myself with another vice that wouldn't get me into quite as much trouble if I were to trick somepony into having sex with me. Not that I intended to get caught, either way.

I snuck out of my bedroom that night, being especially careful to make as little noise as possible with my hooves while creeping past Cadance's suite before making a break for it. My bat pegasus magic was surprisingly helpful in muffling the noisy sounds of my hooves clopping on the marble floor. I didn't think anyone saw me, but just to be sure, I obfuscated my path by taking as many twists and turns as I could. None of the guards paid any heed to my weird shenanigans, making me feel kind of awkward and disappointed, but I managed to slip into the city without a babysitter breathing down my neck. Hah! Take that, Lieutenant Shade Leaf! I was free! Success!

The nightlife of Canterlot City was definitely nothing to sneeze at. The clubs were blasting loud music, the mood was ripe with sexual tension, and the drinks at the bars were colorful in all the right ways. And the good part about it? Ponies were even dumber than humans, allowing me to easily slip in, clearly underage, and swipe a drink or two from inattentive idiots not keeping an eye on them.

I know, I know, it was incredibly dumb of me to go around stealing drinks from other ponies, not knowing what might be in them, but it was a risk worth taking to get some sweet, delicious alcohol. Besides, what was going to happen? We were in the damn capital, and I was a princess; anyone dumb enough to try something with me would end up regretting their choice immediately.

The drink I appropriated tasted slightly minty with a lemony aftertaste. It was cool and pleasantly refreshing as it passed over my tastebuds. The alcoholic burn in my throat made my tail twitch, and I eyed the other partygoers around me with an appreciative hum or two, smirking in self-satisfaction as I turned a couple of heads my way. I could definitely get used to sneaking out of the castle every once in a while...

"Hey! Aren't you a bit too young to be here?" a white unicorn stallion asked me, getting in my way as I tried to find a place to sit and soak in the atmosphere. There was so much sexually charged energy here... mhm~... I finally found my paradise.

I frowned at the guy who looked barely older than me, except for the height advantage—as insignificant as that was since Cadance and I were taller than the average pony our 'age.' "What's it to you?" I sneered, less than pleased at getting scrutinized by a pony that couldn't be much older than the legal age himself.

The guy barring my path to the club's lounge area raised a brow and gave my drink a pointed look with his light blue eyes. "I can forgive somepony pilfering my drink—heck, I get them for free here—but I'm not the kind of guy that's going to explain to Her Highness why her niece got smashed while clearly underage. So, why don't you give me that, and nopony has to go to jail tonight, huh?" he tried persuading me, and I snorted, amused. As if my aunt would throw some random guy in the dungeons for not paying attention to his drink.

"Look, no one's going to snitch, okay?" I told him, daring him to open his muzzle and contradict my claim. "Unless you want to tell Aunty I've been naughty~?"

I licked a fang, smiling gleefully as the pale white coat on his face turned even paler than it already was. The poor sod ran a hoof through his messy red mane, and I took notice of the golden piercing in his left ear. I might have to ask him where he got that done; I was down to get some piercings in my own ear.

"Okay, look," he started, wrestling with himself over whether or not he should let the argument go. "I won't say anything as long as nopony else does." I smiled in satisfaction, about to go my way when he held me back with a hoof. "But! That doesn't mean I'm letting you run around unsupervised, got it?" My frown returned in full force, almost dropping the beverage in my flimsy, magical hold, and I bit back the frustrated growl, trying to force itself out of my throat. How fucking annoying can one guy be?

"I can take care of myself," I told him, glaring balefully at his existence. He would learn not to mess with a succubus if he kept being an irritating pest.

The spiky redhead guy sighed, grumbling slightly to himself as he let go of my shoulder. "I don't doubt that, and honestly? I don't want to know what happens to the filth that would try anything with a princess, but that doesn't mean there aren't plenty of low lives around here that are dumb or desperate enough to lay their hooves on you. If you really want to hang out here without a word getting back to Her Highness, then you might as well stay somewhere safe while you're here. Come on."

I watched him motioning toward the cordoned-off area reserved for the high-value clientele of the Canterlot Lumen Club and wondered who he was. The bouncer let him pass without a glance, and I hesitantly followed him. I gave the burly earthpony stallion standing guard a cautious glance, but he let me go into the restricted part without immediately throwing me out of the club since I wasn't technically allowed to be there.

I caught up to my mysterious new friend, eying him from the side. His mane and tail were as wild as mine, though he clearly had less trouble straightening it out. He had a record plate with a music note on his bum, and since he wasn't paying attention to my wandering eyes, I chanced a peek at his sheath... or where one was supposed to be on a stallion, anyway. I blinked, confused at the lack of any stallion-y equipment, and blushed in embarrassment as soon as I heard him clear his throat.

"I, uh..." I said, trying to think of an excuse that wouldn't immediately offend him—or was it her?

"You're really not the typical kind of princess, are you?" he stated, sounding definitely male to my ears. "Come on, take a seat; I can see you have a thousand questions on your mind. Let's get the awkward part out of the way first."

I gulped, nervous, as I hopped into the booth. I was off to a great start, wasn't I? First, I got caught stealing the drink of some big-shot musician, and then I seemingly offended them(?) by trying to sneak a glimpse.

"I guess you haven't ever seen a trans guy wherever you came from, huh?" he (definitely he) asked me. I shook my head mutely. People kind of ended up turning into the type of demon that reflected their soul in Hell, so even if there were trans people there, it sure as Hell wasn't as obvious as it was here in magic pony land. I had been summoned to variants of Earth where women had dicks, but I just assumed that was a biological quirk. Kind of like me in my natural form now. "I guess introductions are in order, then. I'm Long Play, or Thirty-Three and a Third LP. The second one is my stage name... and judging by your look, you don't know anything about me, either." I shook my head and took a small sip from my drink. He gave me an amused glance. "Alright, just to be clear here, I prefer male pronouns, so don't even think about misgendering me, or you can forget about ever leaving the castle to sneak a drink or two again, got it?" I nodded, suddenly very afraid of the dark tone in his voice. Damn, he could be pretty scary when he wanted to be. He certainly earned my respect for that, at least. "As for you, all I know is that you come from somewhere near Vanhoover, and you're a bit of a rebel, aren't you?"

I snorted. "You only know the half of it."

Long Play, or Thirty-Three and a Third LP, whatever he preferred to call himself, gave me a chuckle. "Trust me, kid, I know the kind. I've had my rebellious streak, sneaking out to go to festivals and concerts while my parents slept."

"Huh," I hummed, only mildly surprised he would do something like that after berating me for sneaking into a club. "So..." I began, wondering how to breach the subject. "You're trans?" Or I could just be blunt. Great going there, mouth.

"Yeah," he said, nodding his head. A waitress came by to deliver him a new drink since I got his previous one, and he took a big gulp with a satisfied sigh. "Ask away, I won't bite as long as you don't bring up anything like my deadname."

"You mean like your name before..?" I prodded, and he frowned. Sheesh, alright, alright! "Got it. Uh... how did you know?"

"How do you know you're a mare?" LP questioned me back, challengingly. I blinked.

"I just do?" I said, uncertain. "I mean, I never really had any doubts about my body and stuff."

Not that that stopped me from experimenting with my shapeshifting powers. A succubus could take on any form or modification to their body, but unlike true shapeshifters, we always had a certain look we couldn't deviate from. I could look like a griffon if I wanted, but I would still have the same coloration, so there was no hiding my fiendishly slit, red eyes. I was rather lucky batponies were a thing here, or some demon hunter would have immediately been able to tell I was a demon with a single glance.

"'And stuff' sums it up pretty well," LP chuckled, grinning slightly to himself. "It's not any different for me. I knew my outside didn't match my inside since I was little. It took some serious convincing my parents that I wasn't their little girl and instead their son."

I looked down into the drink in front of me, scowling at the mention of parents. "How did they take it?"

LP grimaced. "My dad was confused, to put it mildly. Mom dragged me to a psychologist, scared shitless something was wrong with me. As I said, it took some convincing that I wasn't some crazy nutcase with delusions. The psychologist helped a lot in convincing them that being trans wasn't anything wrong. Some ponies just have the misfortune that their body developed in the opposite direction of how their brain developed as a fetus. Or that's the theory I like to go with, anyway. There are lots of explanations why somepony turns out to be trans."

"That actually makes sense," I said, glancing up at him. "Sort of like how two earthponies can give birth to a pegasus, right?"

LP nodded so-and-so. "Almost. Genetics do play a part in your tribe. I don't think anypony aside from those with Princess Celestia in their lineage can end up being an alicorn."

"Right..." I mumbled, not correcting him on that. "Can I ask you something a bit insensitive?"

LP rolled his hoof, motioning for me to continue. "Go on."

"Are you into stallions or..?" I asked, and he blinked, surprised.

"Huh," he hummed. "That wasn't what I expected you to ask."

"What? Did you think I would ask you if you had sex with what you're probably not comfortable touching?" I countered him, snorting in amusement as a teasing grin spread on my muzzle. "I'm not that savage," I lied. That totally was a question I was curious about, but I wasn't going to offend the guy who took me under his metaphorical wings to stay out of 'trouble.' Hah! As if.

"Just for your information, I don't have anything against my kind of plumbing," LP informed me, smirking at my surprised look. "I've got to admit, I didn't think the rumors were true, but you really have a dirty mind, don't you?"

"Bitch, I'm the princess of naughty thoughts," I proclaimed in a proud tone of voice. "I would gladly act on it, but I'm afraid my aunt would banish anypony touching me to the moon."

"Uh-huh," LP responded, giving me a nonplussed stare. "Exactly my reason why you shouldn't be walking around alone in a club full of half-drunken idiots."

"Oh, come on, don't get your tail in a twist. Like I'm going to let them," I scoffed, smiling sharply with my fangs. "Believe it or not, I've got standards." Small and tiny as they were, they weren't entirely nonexistent.

"Yeah, no, I'm not letting you get frisky with anypony and blame it on them. Your big brother LP is here to watch your back."

I bit my lip, unable to keep the mischievous comment to myself. "Oh, you just want me to yourself, is that it? Mhh, I bet you want to see me on my backside, legs stretched out invitingly~."

LP gave me a deadpan stare. "No."

I pouted. "Fine, you're no fun," I grumbled, faking a heartbroken sniffle (or at least trying to appear like I was). "I suppose I'll have to play with myself while thinking of you, step bro~."

"You really can't help yourself, can you?" he asked me. I merely smiled while taking a sip from my drink. "For your information, I am gay."

"Ooh!" I cooed, perking my ears at that juicy little detail. "Is that why you're fine with having a—"

"Princess, please," he sighed, rubbing his temple. Then, he muttered, "What have I signed myself up for with this little delinquent?" I raised my brow, and he cleared his throat. Hmph. He was lucky I liked him. "How I have sex with somepony is my business alone, okay? I'd appreciate it if you could respect that boundary."

"Fine, fine," I murmured. There was still one thing I wanted to rile him up with, though. "You know, I bet I could introduce you to some ponies in the Night Guard; there are some really handsome studs there that would pay to have you suck 'em off~."

LP blushed as his imagination no doubt ran away from him. "M-maybe another time," he muttered, squirming where he sat. I wouldn't be surprised if a wet patch was growing underneath him. "You really have got no shame, do you?"

I grinned like a shark. "Oh, sweet summer child of mine, I'm the goddess of lust and debauchery around these parts. I'm the literal definition of temptation and love-making."

"..." he sighed before commenting, "Fuck my ass, Equestria is doomed."

I laughed, holding my stomach as I almost fell out of my seat. Holy shit, the way he just said that was hilarious! The defeated tone, the thousand-yard stare, the way he slumped in on himself..! Hah! He was a blast to be around.

"Oh, worry not, big brother," I hummed happily. "I'll take good care of you~." I patted his shoulder affectionately, and he let his forehead fall onto the table in response.

Oh, yes. I would take very good care of you, indeed. Eh heh heh heh...

Thankfully, nopony took notice of my nightly escapades the following weeks after that. I hung out at the Canterlot Lumen Club with Long Play whenever he wasn't rocking the music like a virtuoso, entertaining the whole dance floor with some sick beats. He was good; I had to give it to him. It was no wonder he was treated like a big-shot celebrity around here. He made his own tracks, remixing them with other well-known ponies in the music industry. He even collaborated with the up-and-coming and no-name upstarts like Sapphire Shores to help them become famous.

School was thankfully less of a drag, though still a pain in the butt, which was the least bit helped from the occasional hangover I suffered due to overindulging the nights before. Just because I had supernatural healing didn't mean I was completely immune to the effects of alcohol poisoning and the like. The pink nephilim living across from me didn't help matters, either. I had no idea how she could be so fucking cheery all the damn time. Especially in the mornings.

To make matters worse, Philomena decided to be a menace, too. Fucking bird kept singing on my balcony right before dawn until I woke up. I swear, the chicken flambé did it on purpose.

Right before the winter holidays arrived, every teacher in school had the brilliant idea of scheduling their half-of-year exams simultaneously, leaving not only me to drag my hooves in exhaustion but also the rest of the nerd gang and Cadance. I was glad to be through with the first half of the school year, having crammed more knowledge into my brain than what I had slogged through prior to coming to Equestria.

At least Cadance and I managed to catch up to every other student concerning history, physics, alchemy, economics, and business studies. I was still abysmally bad at magic—no surprises there—but I was starting to figure things out in my own way.

Pony magic was connected to their special talent, specifically a pony's cutie mark. It was infinitely easier to do something you were deeply connected and passionate about than trying to brute force your way into doing something you only had a passing interest in. For me, that meant being naughty, but more importantly, getting others to be naughty.

I never did anything beyond a bit of harmless exhibitionism, particularly masturbating in increasingly more risqué ways or riskier situations (I did almost get caught playing with my clit while in the computer science classroom, distracting the nerd gang and every other student except for the teacher). As for getting others to be sinfully naughty, it did help to be a succubus who knew what she was doing.

Cadance liked to play matchmaker to the entire student body (and beyond)... I, on the other hoof, favored encouraging those ponies to relieve a bit of stress in places they really shouldn't. I made good work of one particular ability a succubus had: bewitching somepony into being horny as fuck.

Suffice it to say, there were a couple of ponies using the restrooms to relieve themselves in a different sense from the intended purpose of the facilities. The more daring ponies would use empty classrooms, the janitor's closet, or behind the bleachers for a quickie between classes. Or more audacious than that: skipping classes to fuck in the hallways.

Nopony knew I was behind their sudden urges to get frisky—except Cadance. She immediately knew what I was up to and could only roll her eyes at me amusedly. Oh, I was tempted to turn her horny, as well, but her finding some random colt to scratch her itch with wasn't a risk I was willing to take. So, I kept mainly to couples I knew would be safe to 'encourage'... except for a few ponies who managed to get on my wrong side. Those? Oh, those I tortured in the cruelest and naughtiest way possible.

A succubus could turn a pony so horny to the point where they were unable to think of anything else other than sex, but we could also take away their ability to reach their desired climax. Yes, I was evil. I was so fucking evil; I tortured others with unimaginable pleasure. And my evil knew no bounds, letting them suffer in despair at not being able to get what they so desperately wanted the most. Hence, why Dumb and Dumber were failing so miserably at the most basic of tasks in school at the moment.

They refused to learn their lesson, and now they would suffer the consequences. I was a kind mistress, wasn't I? I wasn't the type to physically retaliate to being abused and mocked by some low-life bullies. I was the type to grant them bliss.

Admittedly, it was skirting the line of my contract, but I wasn't hurting them, per se. They still had the choice to heed their bodies' incessant call for sexual relief or ignore it. They had the choice of masturbating, having sex, or simply abstaining from touching themselves altogether. I just gave them a push here and there, turning them horny and forbidding them to cum for an hour afterward. If they chose to eat each other out and curse each other for not being good enough, then that was their fault. I didn't violate the terms of the contract in any way.

That was one of those technicalities that bent the rules just so that even the implication of bending the rules was not enough to trigger the termination of my contract. Besides, all I was doing was helping them. In my own twisted way, I was as much of a matchmaker as Cadance could be. I was taking two ponies not meant for each other and set them up because I could. Simple as that.

Now, what did any of that have to do with magic? Well, nothing much, really. Except it allowed me to use my horn since I couldn't use my hooves to cast spells like my nonexistent hands. That was another matter entirely, and I really didn't look forward to figuring out earthpony magic.

Cady wasn't much better off in that regard than I was. We both had no prior experience with the kind of magic that came from nature. Plants weren't exactly in abundance in Hell, and all I knew about the subject was what little druidic magic I had seen throughout my years trying to escape the fiery snake pit, which wasn't a whole lot. The best I could sum it up with was, 'Something, something, communicate with plants, something, something, magic.' That wasn't helpful in any way.

Pegasus magic was by far the easiest to get the hang of (in no small part due to my sinfully pink teacher). I was still nowhere near the level of the former pegasus, but I could (mostly) do anything asked of me, except maybe get rid of a tornado. I was a stealth flier, not an all-weather hazard clearer. For that matter, snow was a bitch, and I hated the cold. My limbs were stiff as fuck.

Fuck Elsa and her 'the cold never bothered me' bullshit. Give me a warm fireplace and a blanket any time. I wanted my snuggly, warm weather back.

Oh, what joyful holiday cheer. Wake me up when it is over.