Demon Bonds

There was little that demons couldn't endure. A bullet to the head, a sword stabbed through the heart, holy water melting their skin; really, just about anything. But what I couldn't stand was the freezing cold. Winter in Equestria was one of those things ponies didn't joke around with. And since ponykind managed their own weather, it was pretty much a guarantee that it would snow all the damn fucking time.

One would think that a species that primarily went around naked would avoid making it worse for themselves, but no, that was not the case. Fucking stupid pony traditions. There were no wendigos around anymore, but you couldn't celebrate Hearth's Warming without snow. Ugh.

Of course, the pink nuisance found the weather excellent and just had to drag me out of the castle whenever she could. Wearing boots and a scarf could only do so much to stave off the cold. Thankfully, my change to pony anatomy gave me the small boon of having fur all over. Better yet, ponies here in Equestria had the added advantage of getting all fluffy and shit during the winter months since hibernation wasn't a thing for us. That didn't mean I was the least bit happy about my wings and ears having no protection against freezing temperatures. Or my eyes. Or my snatch. Big fucking yikes on that.

At least Cadance had the mind to bribe me with homemade hot cocoa to get me to come out of my blanket cocoon. My best friend knew how to best appease me despite my grouchy mood.

"Do you think Aunty would like a fetlet like that for Hearth's Warming?" Cadance asked me as we passed by yet another shopfront. I looked over at the piece of jewelry she pointed out, furrowing my brows. It was a golden chain with a ruby heart set in the middle that would presumably go over a pony's fetlock, as the name suggested.

"I don't know..." I said uncertainly, wondering how it would even stay where it was supposed to instead of falling off immediately. Pony fetlocks were kind of weird compared to Earth's horses. They were—more or less—flush with the rest of the leg.

Cadance pouted. "Don't you think it would look cute?"

I snorted. "With her constantly wearing her regalia? It would look dumb." Though I supposed it would stay where it was supposed to be with the golden shoes in the way. Then again, sticky charms were a thing, so maybe I was overthinking it.

Cady huffed. "You're no help at all, do you know that?" she accused me, turning back to search through the display of assorted accessories. I did the same, keeping the eye roll to myself at her comment. I was plenty helpful. It was called 'being honest'—you know, like the virtue we were supposed to uphold? Deal with it.

There were a few interesting, noteworthy things uniquely fit for ponies—such as tail bows and horn decorations—but all of them had one thing in common: they were all made out of gold or had excessive amounts of jewels on them; more often than not, both. It was all a bit too gaudy for my tastes, but considering we were trying to find a present for the big sun goose swan horse, it would be a perfect fit for her. She was all into the golden bling, considering she never took hers off.

There were very few accessories made out of silver or even aluminum, much less steel, so I quickly lost interest in the shop. That was until I saw a pair of ear studs in a corner that almost seemed to have been forgotten.

My desire to have my ears pierced and wear them resurfaced, and I wondered if Aunt Celestia would let me; the design wasn't exactly 'princess-like.' The outside part ended in a sharp spike and was undoubtedly some attempt to appeal to the younger generation that flopped disastrously. It probably wasn't a good idea, anyway. The piercings screamed wannabe emo to me, and I didn't need to give everypony even more ammunition to tease me.

I shook my head and turned back to Cadance as she seemed torn between buying the fetlet thing or not. Ugh, for fuck's sake... "I mean..." I started, rubbing one hoof over another. "As a memento, it would be nice? A heart to represent you and me being in her family? It looks similar enough to our cutie marks, so..."—I shrugged with my wings—" I don't know. Engrave it with our initials or something."

Cadance smiled. "Aww, that's so nice of you," she said, and I huffed, trying to hide my flustered blush. Why must she be so... her?

"Just get the damn thing and let's go; I'm freezing my ass off here," I muttered, tail whipping in agitation. My best friend and tormentor giggled as she skipped into the shop with a spring in her step. Raven followed her dutifully while I waited outside, trying to act as nonchalantly as I could despite feeling awkward as fuck. Hell be damned if I set a hoof in that money trap of a jewelry store. The ponies doing business here were worse than humans taking advantage of tourists in their capital cities.

If I hadn't been crowned a princess, I would never have lived here in a million years, much less spent my money as a tourist. Everything was expensive as fuck, the restaurants served servings that would sooner starve you than be remotely satisfying, and the ponies living here were snobs who couldn't see where they were going with their snouts turned up so high, they must be going blind from constantly looking into the glare of the sun.

...when it wasn't snowing, that is. The sky was overcast with a thick cover of snow-laden clouds, so the sight of the burning, fiery ball of gas was a rarity during the holidays. Couldn't have a Hearth's Warming without snowflakes coming down twenty-four-seven around the clock. Did I mention it was a stupid tradition yet? Because it was. It was awful.

"Are you done seething about the weather yet?" Cadance asked me as she returned from making the overpriced purchase with Raven. I glared at her, prompting her to giggle. "Come on," she nudged me, already on her way to continue the icy, cold window shopping torture. "Cheer up, we almost have everything."

"You know, with the holiday being Hearth's Warming and all, I feel like the weather should be warmer."

"You know it doesn't work like that, right?" Cady pointed out, and I grumbled unhappily. "It's called Hearth's Warming; the weather has to be cold so you can snuggle up to your special somepony! It's all about coming together and chasing the cold away!"

I scowled at her and sneered, "Neither of us has a special somepony."

"Well..." Cadance hummed, bumping against me with a smile, unimpressed by my hostile behavior. "It doesn't have to be your significant other. You could also spend your time with your family instead. Play some games, have a snowball fight, bake some cookies, sing a few carols, build a snowpony, visit a play..."

"I could also just wrap myself up in a blanket and stay in bed alone."

My best friend pouted. "But that's lonely and no fun at all." Then she nudged me with a wing, smiling like the insufferable nuisance that she was. What a friggin' pest. "Don't you want to act a bit filly-ish and be merry? You always just close yourself off. Liven up a little! Where's the harm in that?"

"..." I stayed silent for a while as we passed by a couple of storefronts. Honestly, there wasn't a particular reason I disliked the festivities; I just... forgot what it was like acting all carefree and 'merry,' as Cadance put it. I didn't really have the opportunity to do so, you-know-where. Shit like that changed you. It made you all bitter and antisocial, a shell of your former self. You began coping with unhealthy mechanisms, adopted a different kind of personality, and saw the worst in everyone around you. You shut yourself out, relied on no one else but yourself, and then sat in the pit you dug out, unable to escape it alone.

Living in Equestria helped me immensely in that regard, but even with a supportive environment and ponies that genuinely cared about me (at least those who weren't told to do so), it took a lot of willpower to take that first step on the road to healing. I had to be the one to let my guard down first and allow myself to be... social, I guess. Not the naughty kind of social where I go around fucking everything with a dick, but the social kind where I just... do normal stuff. Stuff that didn't involve getting stabbed in the back by your so-called 'sisters,' but stuff where you actually bonded with your friends and family. Even if that meant walking through the snow and freezing my ass off.

"You know, it's not easy to open up and do something fun that doesn't involve sucking dick," I whispered forlornly. "I don't even know how to act like I did before I was sent to... you know."

"Hey, you will get there. I know you will," Cadance reassured me, giving me a gentle, comforting smile. "I'm always willing to listen if you want to talk. It must be difficult talking about it, but it might help. You aren't broken, Ish. And being a bit antisocial is fine. Just... don't shut me out, please. You can allow yourself to act a little bit silly instead of moping around all day."

"I don't mope around all day," I denied, scrunching up my muzzle, annoyed.

"Whatever you say, McFrownyface," Cady teased me, playfully rubbing her cheek against mine, a big grin on her lips. I felt my tail twitch in surprise at the sudden contact, a certain kind of heat surging through me that got increasingly harder to ignore around her.

Fuck. To say the least, I had a minor crush on my best friend. My stupid heart kept beating harder in my chest at any show or sign of affection directed toward me from her. And to make matters worse, my best efforts to suppress those feelings ended in failure, much to my eternal chagrin. If only I could stop these stupid urges from influencing my thoughts, I could still look her straight in the eyes and not imagine kissing those perfect lips of hers.

It made getting up in the morning much more challenging, knowing I would ruin everything if I acted on those feelings. Cadance deserved better than my dysfunctional ass. I couldn't give her what she truly wanted, and neither could she. I was the type to sleep around; she wasn't. It was as simple as that.

Although, I couldn't deny that the thought hadn't crossed my mind. What would it be like if I were to ask her out? Would she say yes? Was she even into girls? She certainly seemed to flirt with no regard to gender, but what were her physical preferences? Surely, she wanted a virile stud to sate her fantasies of a happy, nuclear family (disgusting, I know). Even if that fantasy might never come to pass with her half-angelic, half-demonic nature. Her type had to be the protector kind, right?

Well, even if she thought I could fit that role, I wasn't really masculine so much as I was a tough bitch. Sure, I might have a dick now (when I wasn't disguised as a damn teenager), but would that be enough for her? And more importantly, would that be enough for me? I liked getting fucked; would she be willing to do the same to me?

Our personalities clashed a lot, too. She was the romantic, gentle variety of pony, kind-hearted and patient. I was crass and shameless, not to mention vindictive and sour, and had a short fuse similar to Sunset. I tended to insult those who irritated me while Cadance tried to de-escalate whenever possible. We couldn't be any more different from each other, and yet, we got along like we knew each other our whole lives. How would that dynamic change if I threw a relationship into the mix? Surely, she would get fed up with me sooner rather than later, right?

Honestly, I had no idea why that wasn't the case already. Aside from the brief conversation about opening up and having fun in a completely innocent way, she put up with me for reasons I couldn't explain. Yeah, I wasn't precisely a bitch to her specifically, but she must at least think I wasn't a good person, right? That much was rather obvious about my personality. I might be far from horrible, and I was actively trying to turn a new leaf (I swear I was at least trying to do so, give me a damn break), but that didn't change the fact that I wasn't nice and polite and friendly unless forced into pretending to be.

My mind wandered to the nerd gang, and I wondered why they put up with me. Unlike Cadance, I didn't really treat them with a whole lot of respect. Heck, I kept tormenting Shining Armor because he clung to the belief he might have a chance with the pink nephilim. I certainly wasn't a good influence on Twilight Sparkle, as she seemed to get snarkier and snarkier the longer we spent time hanging out around each other. Thankfully, she hadn't picked up on my habit of swearing yet, and I seriously hoped she never would. I did not want to explain to her mother why she got into the habit of doing that.

Maybe the guys were attention-starved and merely tolerated me being in their friend group because I was a girl. Or I was just misrepresenting myself and wasn't as unbearable to be around as I thought. There had to be something they liked about me other than having a snatch, right?

I glanced at Cadance from the corner of my eyes and frowned (unintentionally proving her right with her 'McFrownyface' comment—stupid, annoying pink nephilim). "Say, Cadance..?"

"Yes, Pleasure?" she hummed in response, smiling as if nothing could truly ruin her mood. That was one thing I appreciated a lot about her. She was just... so innocent and happy, always able to spot the good in anypony. I really didn't want that to change. Ever.

"Why do you like me?" I asked, not realizing how my question could be misconstrued until I saw her face take on a rosy tint. Ponies being able to blush was weird but oddly cute. If only it didn't make my heart throb at the thought of her liking me that way...

"I, uh, well..." my best friend stammered, suddenly very reluctant to meet my eyes. I gave her a quizzical look, silently telling her to get the hint that she clearly misunderstood the question. If only I wasn't such a self-destructive bitch, I might have admitted my feelings to her. For her sake, I had to stay away from her, even if she did feel the same way about me—as unlikely as that was. "Honestly, I like your bluntness a lot, and you're fun to be around. You look out for me—and don't try denying it; I know you keep scaring the living daylights out of anypony confessing their 'undying' love for me." Cadance rolled her eyes, possibly just as irritated by it as I was. "As if that would suddenly make me consider being in a relationship with them. It's not like I know any of them," she muttered, annoyed. Then, she hummed, saying, "We also share many interests. Oh! And our personalities complement each other really well!" I furrowed my brows, unable to determine how she came to that conclusion. There was no such thing as 'opposites attract' when our personalities weren't even remotely compatible with each other. Cady continued unhindered, most likely not noticing the disbelief on my face, "I also think you're a big softie deep down, even though you try to not let it show."

"That's not even remotely true," I denied, unable to admit that a small part of me felt glad Cadance thought of me like that. My pink and very annoying friend gave me an amused glance, and I scowled darkly back at her. Why must she see through me so easily, damnit? It would be so much easier to keep my distance from her if she didn't constantly do that. "You wouldn't say that if you were at the receiving end of my wrath."

"But I'm not," she countered me, poking me with a wing. I suppressed the frustration welling up within me. She just couldn't stop, could she? Fuck me. "And I doubt I ever will be. You couldn't bring yourself to hate me, admit it~."

I grumbled under my breath. "You're annoying; I hate that."

"Oh?" she smiled. "Then why do you put up with me?"

"You don't hate me, even though you know everything about me."

Cadance hummed. "Well, clearly not everything, but even if I did, you're here now, and you have changed. That's all I need to know to not hate you. There's nothing you could do to change my mind."

I glanced at her smile and felt myself flush faintly. "Thanks..." God fucking damnit. Why did I have to feel so infatuated with her?

"Don't mention it, Ish. You are a great pony; don't ever think otherwise, okay?" she told me, and I tried to commit her words to heart despite feeling like it was impossible. With all the things I had to do to survive up to this point, I was undeserving of so much faith. Much less true love. Perhaps I really did deserve Hell. "Is there anything you still need to get? I think I'll gift Fleur a visit to the spa, no expenses spared. She has been going through a lot of stress lately, working her way up in the modeling industry."

"I, uh... I was thinking of buying the guys some comic books or something."

Cadance gave me a look, and I fidgeted with my wings. "Comic books?" she questioned me, and I started feeling increasingly more awkward. What else was I supposed to get them? They were nerds; they basically never did anything stallion-y. "Doesn't Shining Armor want to join the guard? Give him something that will help him instead of causing him to laze around even more."

"Like what?" I asked her with a huff. "I'm not trying to impress him or tell him, 'Hey, I think you're a wimp; here are some barbells so you might have a chance of making it into the guard.'"

Cadance snorted, giggling slightly. "No, nothing like that. But he might want to learn what is expected of a guard, so the guard's manual would be a good starting point. Get him that and an armor cleaning kit, and he'll be motivated enough to work out of his own volition." Then, she hummed, rubbing her chin thoughtfully. "That and not wanting to get on the bad side of the drill sergeant gets anypony working out, I imagine."

I snorted, amused. "Right," I said, seeing the wisdom in her words. "And you're not just trying to keep him around on the off-chance that he will confess his feelings to me, huh?"

"What? Me? Trying to set you up with a nice colt who is the sweetest guy with a wonderful little sister you just so happen to foalsit? Why would I do that?" Cady said, feigning shock. I could spot the mischief in her eyes from a mile away.

"Uh-huh," I deadpanned. She could at least pretend to be subtle about it.

"What about the rest of your friends?" she questioned me, prompting me to think for a second. I had some ideas, but whether or not they were better than the comic book idea was up for debate.

"Well, if comic books are out, then a new Ogres and Oubliettes campaign book for Gaffer, a new calculator for Poindexter, and... I dunno, Eight Bit is into programming and computer games, so maybe something to help him create new and better ones?"

Cadance nodded with a hum, rubbing her chin. "That's a start. Nothing truly awe-inspiring, but it doesn't have to be. You'll have to do better for whomever you end up dating in the future, though. Why a calculator for Poindexter?"

I chose to ignore the dating comment, not in the mood to argue with her about my preference to not give any of the guys a chance. I kept my expression neutral and shrugged, "I think he wants to become a math professor or something." He certainly was a wizard with numbers. As long as he didn't try cheating the rules at Ogres and Oubliettes, that is. I had the teeniest, tiniest impression he was slightly regretful that he didn't roll a mage and went with the hunter archetype because he thought it would be 'cooler.' Guys, seriously.

"I suppose that would be good enough, though I feel like getting him a calculator is a little underwhelming," Cady commented, and I rolled my eyes. It wasn't like I cared about what he thought of the gift. Finding stuff that was thoughtful and shit was difficult enough. "What about the little filly you like to foalsit? What does she like?"

I snorted. There was only one answer to that question. "Books."

Cadance faltered slightly as she didn't expect that kind of response from me. "Come again?"

"You heard me," I sighed with a defeated mutter. I really should introduce Cadance to the tiny little bookhorse at some point; it would honestly be hilarious. "Twilight literally sleeps on them because she stays up late reading anything she can get her hooves on. It's hard enough to get her to go to bed without a book in her grasp, seriously."

"That doesn't sound healthy," my best friend voiced her concern, and I shrugged, apathetic. If it made Twilight happy, who was I to tell her to stop? I was a sex addict; I had no moral high ground to stand on whatsoever. Everypony had their vice. "Does she like anything else?"

"You tell me," I prompted her, one of my brows raised mockingly. "That filly doesn't have any friends outside of her brother and the rest of the nerd gang, allowing her to play pen and paper campaigns with them. A filly her age with a vastly superior intellect to her peers doesn't make friends easily."

Nor would it be a good idea if she did with just any pony. She was the real deal as far as geniuses went; social interaction for her required a different kind of intellectual niveau than other foals her age, which sadly meant she was abysmally bad at interacting with other ponies below a certain educational point.

Cadance sighed, not at all happy about learning that Twilight was some kind of antisocial genius who got along better with ponies thrice her age than her own age group. "What kind of book were you thinking of?"

Oh, that was an easy question to answer. "Twilight idolizes Starswirl the Bearded. You know, the mentor Aunty Sunnybum learned under? He apparently created a fuckton of spells and shit."

"Huh," Cady hummed, interested. "Might have to look into him, in that case. Do you think Aunty would tell us what he was like?"

"Maybe?" I shrugged. "I sure hope she can at least recommend something for Twilight to read."

"She's going to take the entrance exam in the spring, isn't she?" Cadance asked me, and I gave her a confirming nod. "In that case, I'm sure she would be ecstatic to get a signed copy of whatever Aunty Tia recommends, right?"

"Unless Aunt Jellobutt just so happens to have a signed copy by Starswirl lying around, I'm not sure that's going to work out."

"I meant Aunty signing it, you doofus," Cadance giggled, and I tried my best to not let my embarrassment show. Right. Duh. I knew that, obviously. "Now, come on, I think they're selling computer stuff over there in that shop."

I followed the direction of her gaze and had to agree with her. The shop looked very tech-like and minimalistic, sort of like a certain computer company back on Earth. However, the pony brand had nothing to do with fruit and depicted a rainbow horseshoe instead. 'Canter Inc.' they called themselves. Probably because of Canterlot, if I had to guess.

Suffice it to say, the prices were exorbitantly high, even for the previous generation of computers. The shop clerk was very enthusiastic about showing off the newest 'Cantermac' with the graphical interface and 'revolutionary' mouse. It was a bit nostalgic to see, but I was used to way more advanced shit than this. Sorry, Eight Bit, but I wasn't going to pay two thousand bits for garbage like that just to make you happy.

I decided a book on coding would have to suffice. I was confident I could find something related to game development at a bookstore, at the very least. Who knew? I could scribble in some ideas for popular games back on Earth. He deserved a bit of fame among the future gaming community (as long as he didn't sell his soul to corporate greed in the long run).

Cadance was fascinated by the stupid thing, playing around with the clunky mouse before I dragged her out of the money trap that were overpriced status symbols. Maybe in a few years, they would be decent enough, but right now, I would rather not waste my time with technology that didn't even scratch the surface of what it could be in the future. If they followed the same timeline that Earth did, at least. Not that custom-built computers with an affordable operating system would leave them in the dust before long, anyway.

We found a store that sold office supplies and bought a fancy calculator for Poindexter. At the same time, Cady got some high-quality coloring pencils I was sure were meant for Cheerilee and went on to find a bookstore. It wasn't easy to find a suitable book, but they did have a few bricks—I mean textbooks—about programming languages in general. One had a chapter about creating your first game, so I took that one. The shop assistant offered to help me find a proper book about game development, letting me know that they would send a note to the castle if they ever found anything.

As for Shining Armor's gifts, we went to the castle barracks and talked to the old grouchy guy in charge about getting the manual and an armor polishing kit. The guard's captain gave us a strange but appreciative look at the choice for a Christmas gift (or Hearth's Warming, whatever).

If it was up to me, I would set Shining up for failure, but he was kind of made for the guard, what with his special talent and all that. I wasn't that heartless to ruin his whole future just because he had the hots for my best friend. No, I wasn't at all jealous that he would make for a good choice if he cleaned up his act and gained a spine. But what were the chances of him making a grand gesture to show up his bullies in front of the whole school to woo Cadance?

Anyway, there was just one more thing on my list of presents to get...

"Aunty Tia?" I asked, looking up at the big sun goose swan horse while we were all seated around the fireplace of her suite with steaming hot mugs full of creamy, chocolaty goodness. I was on the plush carpet as close to the fire as possible while Cadance was on the armchair reading a romance novel (not the adult kind from what I could glean from the cover and the lack of obvious, apparent signs Cadance had while aroused). Aunt Sunbutt took up the entirety of the couch, a quill dancing over the surface of a scroll held in her magical grasp.

"Yes, Pleasure?" she hummed, glancing away from the scroll after she finished writing whatever sentence she was on. Even during winter break, she kept working. The government never slept, huh? She was out of her royal regalia for once, though—which was kind of strange to see, to be honest. I supposed even the High Princess of Equestria had to relax at some point, and we sort of surprise-ambushed her with the offer of hot cocoa on her doorstep.

Not that I would call work relaxing by any means. She really must love doing it enough to sacrifice her free time regularly. There was dedication, and then there was Aunty Celestia.

I smiled innocently. "You wouldn't mind signing a book for me, would you?"

"A book?" she said, raising an inquisitive brow at me, intrigued. "And for whom would I sign this?"

Ah, frick. I squirmed slightly, rubbing the back of my head in embarrassment. I had hoped she would just do it and not ask for a name, dang it. "Twilight..?"

"You're not just giving her a book because you can't think of anything else, are you?" Aunty Jellysun asked me, an almost disappointed tone in her voice. "Wouldn't a filly her age enjoy a toy more?"

I smiled awkwardly as she took a sip from her hot cocoa. "Well, the thing is..." I began, wondering if she would believe me if I told her she had no other interests whatsoever besides studying. "Twilight is a very special filly, and I'm not just saying it because I'm biased as her foalsitter. She would've probably enrolled at your school three years ago if her parents didn't want her to start school before she was old enough." Aunty Jellysun hummed, seemingly placated. Hopeful she would consider my request now, I continued, "I was wondering if maybe you could recommend a book from Starswirl the Bearded to me? She's a huge fan, and she wants to grow up just... like... him..."

There was a loud clattering sound, and I blinked, baffled, as Aunty Tia laughed loudly, wings flaring suddenly open. She wiped a hoof at her eye, trying to rein in her laughter. Her spilled cocoa stained the carpet and the discarded scroll while the cup lay broken at the foot of her couch. "I'm sorry, I... I must've misheard. She wants to do what?" she asked, visibly struggling from holding back another bout of giggles as if I told her the greatest joke in the universe.

Both Cadance and I gave the white rainbow sun goose swan horse weird looks. We weren't quite used to seeing her act so... unrefined. Casual Aunty Celestia was a whole new side of her we had never seen before.

"Uh..." I very eloquently responded, trying to get over the shock of our aunt dropping decorum out of the window. I felt unsure if I should check whether or not she was secretly a changeling in disguise or something. This was so unlike her that I had trouble coming to terms with the idea she could act... less her age and more like what her youthful appearance suggested.

Her advice about age being meaningless never rang as true as it did right now. While in private, she acted more like forty than she did the wise and immortal ruler of ponykind in public. It was like she had a wholly different persona that still conformed to the image I had of her in my mind, only... more fun and approachable.

"Is something wrong about wanting to be like Starswirl, Aunty?" Cadance inquired, curious.

"Oh, nothing's wrong with it," Aunty Sunnybunny answered, snickering slightly. "Oh, my. I'm sorry, it's just... Starswirl was as mad as he was brilliant. Yes, he created many useful spells that we still use to this day, but back then, hardly a week went by without him causing some kind of disaster. Oh, he was a terrible teacher, let me tell you. You should have seen him trying to make sense out of poison joke. I miss him."

"...okay, then," I muttered, blinking owlishly as the big sun goose swan horse reminisced in her memories about her old mentor. "So... is that a no or..?"

"No?" Aunt Celestia asked, momentarily confused as to what I was referring to. "Oh, you mean the book. Yes, of course. I'll see what I can dig up that would be appropriate for a foal. Most of Starswirl's advanced spells and theories are hard to grasp for a beginner, not to mention dangerous without professional supervision."

I raised a brow, suddenly wary about giving Twilight access to the equivalent of a pony nuke. We... didn't have anything equivalent to those atrocities here, right? Right? "What kind of spells are we talking about?"

"Nothing to purposefully hurt another pony if that's what you're worried about," she smiled, a proud glint in her eyes as she noticed me visibly deflate in relief. Oh, thank the sun on her butt. "They could just tear reality asunder as we know it."

"What?!" I exclaimed in shock while the stupid sun goose swan-corn giggled in mischief.

"Gotcha," she smirked while Cadance looked on in confusion as to what was happening. Honestly, I wasn't entirely sure, either. "Oh, you have no idea how refreshing this is. I haven't felt this alive ever since..."—Aunt Tia made a weird face, and a small part of me felt concern and sympathy for her—" since forever. I'm sorry for messing with you, Ishtar, but you had it coming for you."

Well... she had a point there. "This is revenge for the stunt we pulled on you a while back, isn't it?"

"Just some light teasing, my dear niece," Aunty Cellyjam confirmed, an amused smile on her muzzle. She lit her horn and reversed the damage to the cup and the carpet stains. "It's such a shame I spilled my cocoa. I rather enjoyed it."

Cady's ears perked up. "I can make some more if you want," she offered, hopping out of her seat. "I could use a refill myself, actually."

"That's very kind of you, dear," Aunty Celestia said, passing her cup to the pink alicorn. I quickly drained mine, not wanting to be left out of getting a refill, as well. Aunt Sunbutt turned back to me after Cadance left, a thoughtful frown on her muzzle. "This filly who you foalsit... does she have any friends?"

I mirrored Aunty's frown. "Besides her brother, me, and the rest of the guys? Not that I'm aware of, no."

"That is troubling to hear," Aunty Celestia hummed, a distant gaze in her eyes.

"To be honest, I don't think it would be a good idea for her to make friends with ponies her age, anyway," I muttered. I fidgeted with my wings at the pointed look she gave me and sighed, tail lashing in agitation. "She's... different, to say the least. Don't get me wrong, she isn't the type to look down on others, but I can tell she easily gets bored when she isn't intellectually challenged. Other foals her age? They like to play around with toys and such while Twily cracks open a textbook on my level to have fun. She's the real deal as far as geniuses go."

Aunt Jellycelly nodded in understanding. "That does remind me of Starswirl," she hummed, reminiscing in nostalgia. "I take it she wants to attend my school, then? You weren't exactly subtle in asking the staff about it; don't think I didn't take notice."

I blushed, rubbing my neck in embarrassment. Caught with the hoof in the cookie jar, huh? "Yeah. She idolizes you even more than she does Starswirl or her brother and me."

"If she is as smart as you say she is, then I look forward to having her as a student," Tante Celestia said, a gentle smile on her muzzle. Cadance decided to reappear right then with three steaming mugs full of chocolaty goodness in her magical grasp. “Thank you, Mi Amore Cadenza.”

Cady made a face at being addressed so formally. "Don't mention it," she responded, passing my mug to my waiting hooves. I smiled eagerly, inhaling deeply from the scent of the divine brew my best friend made. It had no right to smell so good, but Cadance could seriously rival Aunty's cooking prowess, I swear. "And please, don't call me that while we are in private, Aunty."

Aunty Jellycelly smirked rebelliously. "As you wish, my lovely Cadance."

Cadance made a face at her, clearly annoyed. "This is my punishment, isn't it? I'm not sure I like you being all down to earth in private."

"Now, don't be so harsh to little old me, my niece," Princess Auntlestia pouted, and I couldn't help but crack a smile myself. I, for one, was starting to enjoy this. Who knew the holier-than-thou bitch could be fun?

"Whatever," Cadance grumbled, rolling her eyes at her. "Did I miss anything? Aside from Aunty Sunbutt here learning how to drop the nice princess act?"

Aunty Cellyjelly let out a fake sniffle. "Oh, how you wound me, Mi Amore. I suppose Mi Libidine Passione will have to be my favorite niece from now on."

"Fuck off," I shot back, sticking my tongue out at the silly sun goose swan horse.

This time, Aunt Jellysun clutched a hoof to her chest. "Ngh! Betrayed... by my loved ones! Oh, woe is me!"

I snorted, raising a brow back at her. "You know, being a drama queen doesn't suit you."

"Yeah," Cadance agreed with a mock sneer. "Even a foal would be better at acting hurt than you."

"Now, that's just rude," Aunty Celestia complained, offended. "I'll have you know, I would make for a great actress. Once upon a time, it was a dream of mine to stand on a stage and move the crowd's hearts with my performance."

"Pfft," I snickered. "Yeah, right. I'd pay to see that."

Aunty let out a 'Hmph!' at that. "If I weren't so busy, I would gladly show you."

"Hah! As if," I grinned, doubtful. "You're already making excuses to weasel yourself out of proving your claims, Sunbutt. Admit it, you're terrible at acting."

She turned her muzzle up at us. "You'll see. One day, I'll show everypony my true talents," she responded. Then, she peeked at us from the corner of her eyes and started tittering. Both Cadance and I joined her with giggles. "My, I forgot what it was like, having ponies I care for see me as just a pony and not their princess. I'm glad you two entered my life."

I smiled. "And I'm glad you didn't smite me," I teased back, making her roll her eyes good-naturedly. "Seriously. I'm lucky to have been adopted by you as your niece. Everyone else would have seen a demon and shot first before asking questions." Happened enough times, to be honest.

"I'm also glad you took us in, Aunty," Cadance said, muzzle aglow with happiness. "I can't even begin to express my gratitude for all that you have done for us."

"You being here is more than enough for my 'old, dusty heart,' dear," Aunt Celestia told us, humming in delight as she took a deep sip from her refilled mug. "Oh, my. I can't complain with cocoa like this, after all. You are quite good at making this, Cadance."

"T-thanks," Cady blushed, and I snickered.

"Who would've guessed that was your goal all along? Seducing our aunt with confections and homemade hot chocolate..."

"What? No! I'm not trying to—" Cady stammered, blushing furiously now. I saw her squirm in her seat, avoiding looking anywhere in Aunt Celestia's or my direction. "I... um..."

I grinned in mirth, watching with gleeful anticipation as Aunt Sunbutt joined in with the teasing. "My... is there something you want to confess, my dear niece?" Aunty Tia asked, and I roared with laughter, clutching my sides at how suggestive she sounded. "Any forbidden desires~?"

"I don't have a crush on you!" Cadance exclaimed, perhaps a bit too loud at that.

"But you are attracted to me, are you not?" Aunt Celestia prodded her, eyes twinkling. I kept on wheezing from the laughter and giggles rocking my body. Oh, dear fucking God Almighty, this was great. Poor Cadance, ah hah hah ha! "I cannot fault you for feeling this way, Cadance. I'm not one to be vain, but I'm quite aware of my flawless beauty. It's only normal to find me appealing, is it not? What is it you find your eyes drawn to the most?"—she brushed a hoof through her flowing mane, giving her come-hither eyes—" Is it my mane?"—she moved on, trailing a hoof sensually over her fur—" The pearly white coat?"—she slowly extended one of her wings—" The lustrous wings I possess?"—she wriggled her butt, craning her neck—" Or the sun on my flanks~? Tell me..."

Cadance hid behind her mane, probably dying from embarrassment. "I, uhm..." The following words were too quiet even for me to pick up with my enhanced hearing.

Aunt Celestia grinned with satisfied mirth. "What was that, dear? You'll have to speak up, or I won't be able to hear you."

"Fuck you..." Cadance grumbled, wings bristling as she glared stealthily back at her tormentor. "How starved for attention are you that you have to bully me with these sweet temptations?"

Our aunt giggled. "Turnabout is fair play, my dear niece. Be glad I'm mindful enough to do it in private, unlike some ponies I know," she quipped, relaxing on the plush couch.

Cadance grumbled, rubbing a hoof over her leg. "Your neck, okay?! It looks perfect for snuggling..."

"Oh, my, God, that's so fucking innocent and sweet, holy shit!" I commented, laughing even more. I wiped away a tear from my eyes, trying my best to keep my laughter in. "Oh, fuck, I just want to corrupt you."

"Shut up, you aren't any better," Cady grumbled, trying her best to imitate my dark red coat with the blush on her muzzle.

"I..." I began before I blinked, surprised. I looked down at myself. Or I tried to, at least. "Last I checked, I didn't have a neck like Miss Swan Goose here."

"Swan goose?" Aunt Celestia hummed, amused. "How very creative, niece."

"Oh, please, as if you've never looked in the mirror and thought you resembled one. The only thing missing is geese honking near you because they think you're their mother," I sneered, getting her to titter back at me while I grinned.

"I would make for a very pretty 'swan goose,' don't I?" she agreed, proudly pushing her chest outward (it only emphasized her swan-like look).

"Ugh, you two are the worst," Cadance complained. "I feel like you're mocking me here."

"Aww! I would never do that to you," I mentioned, feigning hurt. "Who do you think I am? A demon?"

"Har har," she deadpanned. "You're lucky I like you."

"Now, now, girls. I don't want to see any fighting between you; you get along so well," Aunty Tia said, pretending to be disappointed. "Ishtar, don't mock Cadance for her love of swan necks; that's not very nice of you."

Cadance's eyelid twitched, and Aunt Jellycelly's muzzle was met with a rogue, flying cushion not a moment later. "Can we please change the topic? I swear, you're both immature foals."

"Very well," Aunty Tia sighed melodramatically, taking a sip from her mug to hide her smile. "I hope you're done shopping for gifts, then?" she asked, and we nodded in confirmation. "I suggest sending a courier to get them to their intended recipients, then. Unless your friends don't mind receiving them late; it will be a busy day tomorrow."

"I suppose we can't skip attending the Hearth's Warming play, then?" I asked, mildly annoyed. "Or the banquet?"

"No."

"Are we allowed to get drunk, at least?"

"Ishtar..."

"Fine..." I grumbled sulkily to myself. Be a killjoy, why don't you? I would have to sneak out of the castle later and get some alcohol that way. I could take Cady along; I was sure she would appreciate a festive drink or two.

She was the kind that liked overly sweet stuff, and she wanted me to liven up, right? What better way to do that than getting tipsy drinking mulled wine at a Christmas—I mean, Hearth's Warming—market?

Eh heh heh heh...