Author's Note

Not quite two-hundred, but close enough, I guess. Question is... have you all been good for Santa? :)

Chapter 014 - Hearth's Warming Cheer, Part Two.

As far as plays went, the Royal Canterlot Hearth's Warming pageant was okay. It was performed by a wide variety of actors. The lead characters looked frighteningly starved with a clever bit of makeup use, and they even got fake snow falling down on the stage. At the same time, ghostly whinnies echoed from somewhere in the background, adding to the eerie atmosphere.

The lead actors in the roles of Clover the Clever, Princess Platinum, Smart Cookie, Chancellor Puddinghead, Private Pansy, and Commander Hurricane had historically accurate costumes. At the same time, the supporting characters and background actors wore nothing or old, ratty-looking cloaks at best. Aunt Celestia was incredibly proud to say they got the founding members' personalities as close to the originals as possible. They even looked the part with the coat colors and mane styles matching those of the founders.

The story itself was as corny as it was haunting. Granted, the depicted events were heavily edited to make them foal-friendly, but Aunty Celestia was there to fill in the gaps for us. It was crazy to think ponykind went almost extinct because of this one event preluding the founding of Equestria.

Apparently, the wendigos froze their victims solid by chilling them from the inside out, using their own negative emotions against them. Unlike what the play portrayed it as, the icy, frozen spirits feasted on the flesh of those unlucky souls that succumbed to their sinister magic. It was incredibly dark magic to twist and amplify a pony's emotions in such a manner. It reminded me a bit too uncomfortably of what Prismia did back in Cadance's former hometown.

If there were still any wendigos around, they would have been upon us once Prismia drained all the love away at the latest. Nothing would have been left to salvage at that point, and I doubted Cady and I could have escaped their icy grasp.

The climax of the play was something else entirely. The illusion of ice and hypothermia was dispelled in a last act of love and friendship among found family, returning the nigh-dead ponies to full health as a flaming pink heart was lit over the stage, vanquishing the evil spirits as the antithesis to their existence burned them away. Thus, the three tribes learned to put aside their differences, made sweet, sweet love to each other, and then built Canterlot as a testament to their new unity.

Aunty Celestia told us that it wasn't until much later that her mentor approached her and asked her to lead ponykind instead. She had set out from the ancient alicorn homeland in search of a purpose, basically exiling herself as a coming-of-age rite. Only after she had gained her cutie mark was she allowed to return, but by then, she had found her new home as Equestria's benevolent dictator—I mean, princess, of course.

"Do you ever think about returning to where you came from? If only to reconnect with family?" Cadance asked, only for Auntlestia to frown.

"There's nopony there that I would call family, niece," our aunt responded, a dead gaze in her eyes. "They don't care about the mortal races. To them, everypony else might as well be a short-lived animal. They didn't lift a single hoof to put an end to the wendigos, thinking themselves immune to the 'mortal' plague, so I left. There's no place I'd rather be than here. You are my family, and this nation is my passion. Even if they would accept me back with open hooves, it would be without love and compassion."

"That's..." Cadance started, struggling for words.

"Sad? Disgusting?" I offered, scowling darkly myself. That kind of attitude reminded me far too much of Heaven and Hell. "I can empathize with you, Aunty. More than anypony else could, perhaps."

Cadance frowned sadly. "Ish..."

I put on a friendly(-ish) smile to reassure her. "Don't worry about it. We're both here, aren't we? Enough of the depressing shit, already. We're a family now, so... let's be merry and have fun."

A giant white feathery wing enveloped both our backs as Aunty Celestia hugged us against her side. "Pleasure is right, Cadance. It's Hearth's Warming. We should return to the castle for the banquet."

I scrunched up my muzzle. "How's that any less depressing?"

Aunt Jellycelly tittered. "There's nice food and company waiting," she told me as if it was obvious (and no doubt 'enjoyable' to her). "Now, come. I promise it won't be so bad. You are still a princess; formalities like these are expected of you."

"Fine," I sighed. "There better be some fruit there, or else."

Aunt Celestia giggled slightly. "I see my precious bat has got her priorities straight~."

"S-shut up," I grumbled poutily, blushing in embarrassment as she squeezed me tighter against her side. I squirmed at Cady's smug look, free to observe my happily flagging tail. Traitor, I thought bitterly, trying to get the damn thing to go back down. Stupid unconscious pony body language!

So, what?! My aunt was treating me with familial affection, and I liked it! I wasn't starved for attention! Who gave a fuck, anyway? Don't judge me!

Cady was right; her neck was really nice for hugging and snuggling. Damn it...

We returned to the castle while taking the scenic route through the busy streets full of ponies celebrating Hearth's Warming Eve. There were lots of ponies singing carols and the like, playing games in the snow, and drinking warm, spiced wine or hot cocoa at festive stalls. All in all... I would still rather curl up by the fireplace and enjoy a smutty book or two, but to be entirely honest? I had to admit that it wasn't so bad, spending time with my loved ones (oh, how far I've fallen from the studious succubus I once was).

It helped that ponies were so open with their affection, and Aunty Sunnybun was so understanding and forgiving. It just felt... nice to have a family. I didn't have to sequester myself away because Cadance and Auntlestia weren't unbearably toxic like most of the demonic bitches who called themselves my sisters.

It was difficult to admit to myself, but... maybe it wasn't such a bad idea to let my guard down after all. Clearly, neither Cadance nor Auntia would hold it against me if I were to show some weakness every now and again and return the affection given to me. Even the guys were alright to be around, to be honest. Yes, even Shining Armor, the horndog.

Speaking of Shining Armor...

"What are you doing here?" I asked, blinking in surprise at the unexpected guests at the banquet slash feast slash political landmine.

My friend, aka unknowing bullying victim, turned his head and smiled at the sight of me. "Oh, hey, Pleasure. We got an invitation," he explained, and I frowned in confusion. "...you didn't know?"

"No," I muttered slowly, suspicious that Aunt Sunbutt had her immaculate hooves in this. Of fucking course.

"Oh! Hi, Shining Armor! I see you got the invitation in time," Cadance said as she approached us, a bright smile on her annoyingly pink muzzle. My eyelid twitched as I heard Shining whisper something along the lines of 'She knows my name!' to himself while Cadance turned to me. The feeling of betrayal was indescribable and immeasurable. "Ish, you want to introduce us~?"

I snorted. I would like nothing more than to do just that. Not. "Shining Armor, Cadance. Cadance, horny teenage colt," I drawled, receiving a 'Hey!' in protest from the aforementioned teenage colt. I fucking hated everyone.

"It's... nice to meet you," Cadance hummed, shaking Shining's hoof uneasily as he stood there like a drooling zombie.

"Gah... bwuh? Hel-lo!" Shining responded, nervous sweat running down his forehead. I glared at the idiot. Seriously?

"Are the others also here?" I asked with a tight jaw and tense wings. I swore if he made a single move on her, I would turn his dick inside out. Maybe then he would have the guts to admit he liked both mares and stallions, and I could convince him to shag Gaffer instead or something.

"What..?" Shining Armor mumbled, blinking briefly before his brain caught up with his ears. "Oh, erm... no. At least, I don't think so? Mom got extra tickets, and since Dad has to attend the Hearth's Warming party at work, she took Twilight and me along."

"Oh? Can we meet her?" Cadance asked eagerly, batting her eyelashes prettily at him in an attempt to manipulate him. I refused to believe anything else was happening.

"My mom? Sure," Shining nodded, turning back to the direction he was facing before I talked to him. "She went to the little filly's room a few minutes ago; she should be back any moment now."

"I meant your sister, doofus," Cady giggled, amused. "Forbidden can't stop talking about her, right, Ish?"

"...' Ish'?" Shining asked, causing me to sneer back at him.

"Nickname, don't you fucking dare use it," I explained, frustrated. "Only Cady is allowed to call me that. Her and Sunbutt." I wasn't exactly in the mood to admit to him that Pleasure wasn't my True Name. Nor did I want to give him any power over me if he were to be aware of it. As unlikely as it was, he could cause me a headache and a half if he let it slip. I would prefer it if it didn't end up in the wrong hooves here in this world.

"Oh my, are we talking about my heavenly behind?" Aunty hummed, and I jumped slightly in surprised shock. Fuck! How come she could be so fucking sneaky when she wanted to be?! "And who's this? Your friend~?"

Ugh. "Aunty, horny teen—I mean, Shining Armor. Shining Armor, Sunbutt Supreme," I introduced her, ignoring the looks ponies gave me for calling her such a demeaning nickname directly to her face. It was like they never even thought someone could be rude to her. Seriously, was she some unreachable figure beyond mortal comprehension or what? She was just a pony, for fuck's sake.

"So, this is the colt I have heard so much about," Aunty Celestia said, seemingly not noticing the outraged looks she got from the brownnosers following her because she did not reprimand me for my incredibly insulting comment. What a bunch of fucking losers.

...I was going to have to deal with their complaints later, wasn't I? Oh, what joy.

"Heard? Me? A-about..? You—you have?!" Shining Armor asked with an audible, nervous gulp. He almost forgot he was supposed to bow, prostrating himself before her while barely keeping the fearful whimper at bay. Ugh, this was embarrassing.

"Oh, yes," Aunty Jellysun smiled, and a sudden sense of dread overcame me. It was her 'I'm about to cause mischief' smile. She continued before I could say anything, "My nieces seem to bring you up a lot when talking about dating a colt."

Shining gave me a weird look of surprise, and I felt my tail tuck itself in unbidden while my ears splayed back. Shit. "So you aren't gay then, after all?"

Erm... what? Seriously?!

I was about to voice my irritation to the asshole when another pony beat me to it. "Shining Armor!" Said colt flinched as his mother appeared with the little bookhorse riding on her back. "That's not something you talk about in front of so many ponies!" She turned to me and gave me an apologetic look. "I'm so sorry, dear. He really doesn't know how to behave himself around the fairer sex."

"It's... okay," I said awkwardly. My misgivings were all but forgotten as my little Sparkle ran up to me after jumping down from her mother's back. I met her hoof with my own, tapped the ground once, and our little spiel continued with the other hoof as she clapped hers gently against mine, tapping the ground right after. I rolled my eyes, did the whole 'ladybug awake' thing, turned around, and shook my bum in tandem with hers. Yes, it was a silly hoofshake, but at least I got her to agree not to do the childish song that came with it—I would have taught her something different if I knew anything foal-friendly. I smiled as she gleefully hopped around me once we were done, Cady and Aunty Tia watching us with bemused smiles. "Hey, little Bookworm, how's my favorite little filly doing?"

"I'm in the castle!" she exclaimed. Then she got a little nervous, hiding behind me. "Do you think I can speak with Princess Celestia..?"

I smiled. "Why don't you ask her yourself?" With a little nudge, I shoved her in front of the big sun goose swan horse. She was the perfect distraction from the previous conversation. Hah! I was such a smart pony, wasn't I?

"Why, hello there, my little pony," Aunty Celestia said with a gentle tone of voice.

"I, uhm, I..." Twilight stammered, suddenly overwhelmed. "I like magic!" she exclaimed suddenly. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, huh? Nice going there, Sparkle.

"So I've heard," Aunt Jellycelly tittered, holding a hoof in front of her muzzle to hide her amused smile. "My niece tells me you want to attend my school?"

"Yes!" Twilight responded instantly, quickly warming up to the undoubtedly imposing figure my aunt must have been to her. "I want to learn everything there is! I'll become the next Starswirl and go on adventures with my BBBFF when I'm older!"

"My, how very ambitious of you," Aunty Celestia commented before leaning down to whisper conspiratorially into Twilight's ear. "Don't forget to bring along my niece. We wouldn't want to leave her behind, now would we?"

"..!" Twilight gasped, turning around to face me. "I'd never leave you behind, Princess!"

"Gee, thanks, Twilight," I snorted, grinning at the adorable ball of energy.

"You're welcome," she said, nodding like it was a typical courtesy. Cheeky little shit. "After all, Shiny is your knight in Shining Armor. He'll be sad if you aren't there."

My eyelid twitched at her blatantly trying to set me up with her brother. That sneaky little..!

"Oh?" Cadance inquired. "When do you think their wedding will be?"

Really? Not you, too!

That question seemed to have done it as the little purple, book-obsessed filly squealed in delight. "They're gonna marry?! Shiny, why didn't you tell me?!"

I groaned, rubbing my face with a hoof in exasperation while the white unicorn colt stammered like a fool. I gave Cadance the stink eye for being no better than Twilight in her intentions. What did I do to deserve this torture? Take me back to Hell, seriously.

"We're going to be sisters! Eee!" Twily celebrated, premature as it was to plan that far ahead. I would sooner castrate the colt than marry him.

However, one look at the sheer joy in her eyes made me hesitant to dash her dreams. I could let her fantasize for a while longer, couldn't I? It would be cruel of me to ruin her mood now. "Yeah... sisters," I mumbled, feeling hollow. The thought of getting together with Shining Armor was... depressing, really. It would be the same old dilemma I was stuck with for the past couple of millennia.

For once, I just wanted to be in a relationship with someone I loved. And the one pony my heart yearned for was trying to set me up with everypony but herself. On top of that, the pony she seemed to be the most dedicated to seeing me end up dating was Shining fucking Armor, of all ponies. I would sooner give Eight Bit a chance, but Shining? Why him?! The idiot blatantly pined after the pink alicorn herself; how could she not see that?

This was some weird triangle relationship drama bullshit, seriously. Someone could write a comedy sketch about this, and it wouldn't be funny! Don't get me wrong, I was relieved Cady wasn't about to lift her tail for the idiot colt, but still, that didn't mean I wanted to do so any more than she did—except for her, of course. I'd lift my tail the instant she asked...

Ahem! I mean, bad, Ishtar! No naughty thoughts of your best friend; you know where it will lead! That road led straight back to Hell because it would inevitably break her heart.

Ugh. Enough of that. I ignored my aching heart like the good little demon I was and, uh... 'enjoyed' the banquet (for what it was worth, anyway). No one said anything as I claimed the whole bowl of cherries for myself while I was forced to mingle with a fake smile on my muzzle (I had the slight suspicion that the castle hoarded all the food in Canterlot, explaining the tiny portions in most restaurants around here). Ah, the nobles... they would get what was coming for them... after I dealt with their petty complaints about being 'disrespectful' to my aunt. Joy.

Establishing the House of Commons was proving itself trickier than I first thought. Still, I could tell Aunt Jellocello was open to the idea judging by how she reacted to my few comments about the regular ponies not having enough say in political matters. It would take one Hell of a change to make it happen, though.

Most cities in Equestria followed the old principle of some lord holding the right to rule over the area because their ancestor did something smart and noble or had a high enough position in the military to be granted their own slice of land. Those with an elected mayor were few and far between, and those usually were nobles anyway because they had the money to get stuff done.

If I wanted to even the playing field, I would have to ensure the land and tax money went to the city as an entity in its own right. That way, no single pony could lay claim to the area and the ponies living there. Ponies would have to work together to decide what was better for them instead of letting one noble determine their fate for them on a local level, living comfortably off of their hard labor in the process.

Was I actively working toward reducing the power of the crown this way? Yes, that would inevitably be the end result of my plans. Still, it wouldn't change a thing about the fact that Auntia, Cadance, and I had absolute authority as the governing body. It would merely reshuffle the power structure of the House of Nobles to share their ruling power with the House of Commons, and we couldn't do things willy-nilly without forewarning, anyway. On the national scale, ponies would have the chance to send representatives to the capital to bring their needs and wants to the government's decision process, where Aunt Celestia, Cadance, and I could veto the obviously dumb ideas and make the good ones happen. It basically boiled down to the fact that the nobles weren't the only ones allowed to come up with dumb ideas anymore.

Hopefully, this reform would also change how court was done. While our aunt mainly dealt with petitioners from all over the country, other legal matters were also regularly brought up. Perhaps those could become the main focus for us. At the same time, minor grievances could be delegated to city councils so that only the crucial, critical matters reached the royal court. A sort of escalation level order in which concerns on a local level were dealt with locally. At the same time, those that were more nuanced could be passed up a level higher until they were either solved before they reached us or we had to deal with them.

Aunt Celestia had been managing everything the nobles didn't want to deal with for a very long time. Sure, she delegated what she could, but I could tell our aunt was severely overworked if she kept working in her free time. I doubted that that was going to change with a 'lighter' workload, but at least she wouldn't have to waste her time on small stuff that somepony else could've solved before it even reached the 'top level,' so to speak.

While a democracy had its ups and downs, it gave ponies a reason to get involved in improving the nation as a whole instead of taking things as they were, never once daring to ask for a change. The advantage of having a state governed by a monarchy and a complimentary, parliamentary democracy was that it minimized the bickering among the democrats since our aunt could just put her hooves down and force a decision, choosing the side that would do the most good or forgoing any arguments brought forth to make her own ruling because theirs was stupid.

I was sure it was going to be a whole lot more complicated than that, but it was a plan that sure as fuck beat the current state, at least. It was better than abolishing the monarchy altogether since Aunty Celestia cared about every pony, not just the wealthy and socially influential stuck-ups in Canterlot. Granted, the usual events around the castle might paint a picture exactly like that to those who didn't know her, but I knew better than most.

Ever since I got to know her, she had proven herself to be an incredibly kind pony who wasn't a doormat. She was able to look past a pony's status and see them for who they were, giving them the benefit of the doubt and taking no bullshit from those that would exploit her. She was the perfect ruler a nation could ask for, and I would be lucky if I could ever emulate even a small portion of that. Cadance was well on her way to becoming just like that, but my past was too much of a hindrance to my ability to be patient and kind. And that wasn't a bad thing, considering Aunty Celestia and Cady lacked the drive I had: they were happy with how things were while I wanted to shake things up. I was the counterbalance to their stagnation, and they were the offset to my radical change; only together could we bring a future worth living in.

Perhaps I should think of something to ensure this whole thing was represented equally by all pony races. Each race had different needs and deserved to be heard with no favoritism in between. It would certainly go a long way to change the image bat ponies had, and I wasn't just saying this because I looked like one.

Granted, there would always be bigoted ponies around, but to the average pony, a bit of exposure would help sow understanding where only ignorance existed before. If nothing else, it was going to dispel the fear that they would suck their blood dry like some 'vampire.'

I was honestly tempted to show them what a real vampire was like, but that would definitely break my contract to not harm innocent ponies. A real, undead vampire was nothing more than a mindless slave to their hunger, and they would go on a rampage, leaving nothing alive. As far as necromancy went, a vampire was among the vilest creations someone could bring back from the grave.

Now, that was not to be confused with vampirism as a disease. Those who were infected from surviving an encounter with a genuine vampire couldn't be cured and were nothing more than a thrall to their thirst. They might as well stand with a foot in the grave already. Killing them would be a mercy, to be honest.

Humans during my time on Earth seemed to romanticize the supernatural a lot, so much so that they forgot they were monsters who would sooner kill and eat you than be your best buddy. But that was the thing about fiction: you forgot what was real and what was made up, blurring the lines of truth and adding sparkles to it. The Earth I came from didn't have to deal with the supernatural (at least, as far as I was aware, I never returned there). However, many alternate timelines struggled to survive against the horrors lurking in the dark. Magic pony land included.

Equestria had it better than most varieties of Earth but not as good as my version. Nopony was dumb enough to even attempt necromancy here; even the most bitter recluse had enough goodness in their heart left to find the idea repulsive. Ponies were fundamentally different from humans in that regard; they instinctively shied away from dark magic, while a desperate enough human would be tempted to cross the line.

Unlike humans, though, ponies felt no shame at all about being naked, which made this world a paradise, in my opinion. Just the thought of a human ending up here made me snicker at the possible culture shock they might experience. It wasn't a totally uncommon sight to see an aroused pony struggling to keep it in their metaphorical pants.

There was a reason why I gave everyone a death glare for trying to ask Cadance out. Teenage colts didn't possess the self-control to not flash everyone their exposed junk when they let their imagination wander.

I was totally not at all jealous; that was just ridiculous. Why would I be jealous, anyway? It wasn't like I wanted to be lusted after like some slab of meat with a particularly juicy hole that would be a perfect fit for a thick, virile length of—Ngh..! Dang it.

I ignored the looks around me at the clearly flushed coloration on my muzzle, the stiff wings, and my stupid, flagging tail. I fucking swear, this thing was worse than my devil's tail in my humanoid form. Mares didn't have it much better than stallions, to be honest. Still, at least we didn't give the pony in front of us a view of our genitals. Somepony had to be more than rude to do that while it was obvious for everyone to see if a stallion was rocking a boner.

Pony body language was more nuanced between mares and stallions. An aroused mare could play off their flagging tail as happiness, while a stallion couldn't do so with their meat out on display. An erect dick out of its sheath had only one meaning; there was no talking yourself out of that one. Circumcision wasn't a thing with ponies around here.

So, yeah, I wasn't jealous of Cadance getting her fair share of stallions flashing their junk at her while they proposed their undying love for her. The image of receiving the same attention left me in no way a horny mess that everyone with working nostrils could tell got it pretty bad. Not that they needed to smell my arousal; I was shameless enough to want to give everyone a view (except Shining Armor and his sister, duh).

Lust was as much a blessing to a succubus as it was a curse. We didn't just calm down thinking unsexy thoughts; we were stuck in horny mode until we took care of our needs in a sufficiently satisfying manner. There was no waiting it out until our body calmed down on its own, and considering my centuries of conditioning in Hell to survive by sucking as many dicks as I could, it was no wonder I was perpetually horny.

At least my succubus hunger was at a manageable level, and I could ignore it indefinitely (more or less). I didn't need the madness of a starving snatch on top of all this.

I had no idea how Cadance kept her composure when she started getting aroused. She was the one getting constantly swarmed by horny teenagers, so unless she had no interest at all in carnal desires with another pony, she must have had a trick to deal with it that I didn't have. Or she just had the world's best poker face when dealing with admirers, but I seriously doubted that.

...she didn't have sex with anypony, did she? I would have noticed by now; there was no way she could hide something like that from me. Or did she masturbate as much as I did, but nopony noticed it? Or... did stallions leave her cold?

Pfft, nah. No way. A big romantic like her? As if.

She must make good use of that dildo she appropriated earlier this year; no other explanation made sense to me (or rather, I refused to believe otherwise). Or she was so incredibly innocent and pure that she could resist temptation for that long. Fuck, that must be driving her crazy, mustn't it? I knew she had used that toy constantly during our visit to Griffonia, so she must relieve herself before going to bed. She had to.

"Whatcha thinking about?" Cadance whispered in my ear, and I let out a startled whinny. God fucking damnit! I should pay more attention to what was going on around me instead of fantasizing about my best friend masturbating. Cadance grinned with mischievous satisfaction, and I let out an embarrassed grumble. I was still not used to making pony sounds, nor did I particularly plan on getting used to it anytime soon. It was fucking unbecoming of a princess such as me (cue self-ironic snort).

"Nothing," I responded, though I could tell she didn't believe me.

"Sure~," she said with a drawn-out drawl. "So you weren't thinking about jumping Shiny and riding him for all he's worth?"

"What?!" I exclaimed, momentarily disrupting the other ponies around us in their unimportant gossip. I blushed as I ducked my head, glaring at Cadance. "What the fuck, Cady? Why would I think about stuffing his stiff, pulsing, hot cock into my tight, dripping wet snatch until—" I caught myself before I could get into more detail while Cadance's grin grew more smug. I sneered. "Don't. I swear, you've got the wrong idea here! I'm not into him!"

"And yet, here you are, hot and bothered, trying to deny your attraction to him~," she teased me, an evil grin on her wicked face. Cady giggled at the miffed look I sent her. "Why are you so against it? Love is love; the heart wants what the heart wants. You can give dating a chance again, Ish. Come on! It's not that difficult. Confess your feelings already!"

"Okay, there's so much wrong with that sentence, and you know it," I shot back heatedly. "Have you already forgotten how old he is? He's still a kid, for fuck's sake!"

Cadance rolled her eyes. "Fine. I guess I won't be able to change your mind, then. I guess I'll have to chase after him myself~." My heart gave a painful, shocked pound at the evil smirk on her muzzle.

"What?!" I exclaimed... again. I ignored the irritated looks ponies were giving us and took her aside to a private corner of the ballroom. Well, as private as was possible, considering ponies were everywhere here. "Are you out of your fucking mind?!"

"So you do admit you're jealous of another mare going after him!" Cady proclaimed victoriously. "It's alright, Ish. I'm not holding it against you. I would be jealous, too, if somepony were to like the pony I like." Her expression turned kind of weird as she looked at me, but all the talk about dating and her trying to push it onto me made my anger flare as everything just... boiled over.

How could she be such a bitch?! Drive that dagger even deeper into my heart, why don't you?!

Fuck this shit. No more. I can't take any more of this. "That's enough. I've had it up to here with your dating bullshit. I'm not going to listen to another word you say. Remember that conversation we had? About why we're friends? Well, we're not anymore. I fucking hate you. Go make love to a cactus, Cadenza. I'm done with you," I growled, stomping away from her and the stupid banquet. I needed a fucking drink, find a sufficiently big enough toy, and just forget that conversation ever happened while my body complained about getting fucked by a pale imitation of the real deal. Why did she have to be so insistent?!

Seeing that the club was closed for the holiday and I couldn't bully Long Play into buying me drinks, I went to the market area. I pressured some poor schmuck into buying me a cup or two of steaming, mulled wine from the Hearth's Warming stall serving the more potent stuff.

"Ugh, I can't believe her," I grumbled, sipping from the frankly disgusting-tasting beverage. Alas, it was the only option I had for alcohol without breaking into somewhere. It had alcohol in it; that was everything I really cared about.

Why did she keep doing this to me? Was she trying to mock me? There had to be some reason why she was so insistent that I dated one of the guys. I shivered slightly and took another sip from my mug, grimacing at the taste of warm, spiced wine. I had no idea why anypony enjoyed this grotesque abomination of a drink, but hey! Ponies liked the cold weather and snow; who was I to judge them for their horrible tastes? Humans weren't better, to be honest. Everywhere was shit, seriously.

"I mean, nothing against Shining Armor and the guys, but they aren't exactly my type," I groused, taking a big gulp in frustration as I huffed up at the stars and the Mare in the Moon. What were you looking at, huh?! Don't judge me, you stupid rock! "I've made it abundantly clear I don't want to date anyone until I don't have to look like friggin' jailbait anymore, but no~! She keeps on pressuring me!"

It was almost like she wanted me to abandon my old tendencies to fuck and forget and find a genuine relationship. Eww. Big fucking yikes. I drained the cup, coughing for a moment at the burning sensation of hot liquid and alcohol running down my throat. The irritation was gone a moment later, and my body healed the minor damage. I smacked the porcelain mug down on the table and grabbed the replacement.

"Don't get me wrong, I love—loved her to bits, she is—was the best friend a de—drunk girl could have had..." I said, clearing my throat with a grunt to stop myself from saying the wrong words. I frowned, depressed. "But... I just don't want her to set me up with anypony."

Anypony who wasn't her. And even if she asked me out, I would be too afraid of messing it up (not that I didn't do plenty of that already... I think). She was the first pony in, like... forever, who I felt even remotely interested in. And she just had to be such a nice girl that I felt like an ass for liking her! I was the worst kind of gal a pony could want to date; I couldn't do that to her!

I chugged the mug with mulled wine and felt tears pricking at the corner of my eyes. Stupid, annoying pink nephilim. "I-I fucking hate her..."

"Do you, now?" Twilight Velvet asked me as she approached the table I was sitting at, shivering from the cold. She gave a gentle, kind (if slightly awkward) smile to the unicorn I bribed to keep the beverages flowing, telling him she would keep an eye on me. Then, she turned back to me. "You left so suddenly. Is everything alright?"

I pouted as she took the other refilled cup away from me. Be a buzzkill, why don't you? "I'm fine..." I answered slightly fiercer than I intended, only to fidget uncomfortably at the expression of doubt on her face. "I mean... maybe?"

"Did you two have a fight?" Mrs. Velvet asked me, and I avoided her eyes, looking down glumly. I guessed it qualified as that, didn't it? If one wanted to call destroying friendships a 'fight.' "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I..." I hesitated, unsure if I wanted to explain what led up to the events of me storming out on Cadance in a huff. A part of me hoped Twilight Velvet would take my side and help me deal with it. "She's obsessively trying to set me up with a colt."

"I see," she hummed. She raised a brow as she curiously asked, "And you don't want that?"

"Not in the way she thinks I want to be in a relationship," I muttered, rubbing my hind legs together. I was still horny as fuck, and I had to yet search for a toy to relieve myself with (preferably one that wouldn't be able to talk and spread rumors about me having sex 'underage' with someone who wasn't).

"So, you are the type that would rather stay friends?" Mrs. Velvet stated, despite making it sound like a question. I looked up at her and saw her frown slightly.

"More like separating the friendship part from the equation and keeping the benefits from a 'relationship,'" I admitted, blushing with shame. I couldn't believe I was talking about my preferences with the one pony who was practically the mother figure I never had until now (Lilith didn't count; that bitch kept calling me by my old—Ugh, don't even think about it, Ishtar). How was this my life?

"I hope you aren't going to—" she began, but I interrupted her immediately.

"No! Fuck, no," I exclaimed, grimacing at the implication. Yikes. That would make things hella awkward, that was for sure.

Twilight Velvet smiled humorlessly. "We're still talking about my son here, Princess."

I winced. "Sorry."

"It's okay, dear," she reassured me. "I'm just glad Shiny isn't going to be some conquest to satisfy your urges. From what I've heard, you're living up to your reputation."

I snorted softly. "You don't know the half of it," I said before frowning self-consciously. "I just can't help it. My body doesn't have an off button. Trust me, I've gotten into plenty of trouble before because of it."

Mrs. Velvet hummed thoughtfully. "I can't say that I understand. Maybe it will pass once you're through the worst of puberty?"

Hah! Hell no. I couldn't explain why without opening her eyes to the horrors of the afterlife. Instead of telling her that, I purposefully kept my response as vague as possible, saying, "Maybe..." Then I glanced up at my horn. "Though I doubt it. That thing certainly wants me to be naughty, or it won't do what I want it to."

Twilight Velvet raised a brow but didn't comment further on my inability to get my unicorn horn working correctly. Some ponies had the misfortune of being tied to their cutie mark on a much deeper level than everypony else, meaning their pony magic only responded in a certain way. It would take me a lot of training to overcome that kind of barrier.

"Have you and Princess Cadance argued like that before?" she asked after a brief moment of silence. "This doesn't seem like a recent thing."

"Her trying to set me up? Yeah," I answered with a sigh. "She doesn't care that I—Well, that—" I let out a frustrated huff, struggling to word my sentence in a way that wouldn't give away that I was older than I appeared. At least Aunt Celestia hadn't insisted that we look like preschool fillies back when she took us in. I wouldn't have survived pretending to be that young. "I want to wait until I'm an adult before even thinking of, uh... doing it with anypony. Teenagers are just... dumb and impulsive. At least I can pretend an adult knows what they're getting into." Not that those were any less dumb and impulsive at times. I wasn't the best role model in that regard, either.

"You value maturity," Mrs. Velvet said, nodding approvingly. "I'm sure Princess Cadance will come to understand your kind of 'love' is—Oh, what was the word for it—polyamorous?"

"I think you meant casual," I commented, shrugging. "But I guess you've got a point. I don't want to be locked into a single relationship forever. It's just... romantically? I've been burned pretty badly before. I still haven't forgiven my aff of an ex for putting me through what he did, and, well... there's too much baggage holding me back from giving it another try." Being punished with Hell did that to you. Romance had been dead to me ever since, making it all the harder to open up to it again. Cadance wasn't exactly making it easy for me to do so, either.

I just wanted to make my own relationship choices, damnit.

"I know I have mentioned it before, but have you considered speaking to a therapist yet?" Twilight Velvet asked me, her voice gentle and kind, free of judgment. "There seems to be a lot of hurt you never dealt with healthily."

I scowled slightly while my stiff, freezing wings tensed against my sides. Right, that. I meant to do it, but who could I trust to not go around revealing my secrets because I was a demon? I was pretty sure most ponies would scream bloody murder, patient confidentiality be damned.

"You don't have to if you really don't want to speak to somepony about it, but I think it would help you tremendously," she said, a beseeching gaze in her light blue eyes. "I'd hate to see you suffer from whatever happened in your past because it keeps weighing so heavily on you."

I sighed. "I'll ask Aunty Tia about it," I promised, mentally crossing my nonexistent fingers. It depended entirely on whether or not they would believe me, and that wasn't a chance I wanted to risk. But... "Maybe she knows a trustworthy pony that would listen to my fucked up story and help me work through the trauma without sending me to an asylum." As unlikely as that would be.

Mrs. Velvet blinked, horrified. "Surely you're exaggerating? Oh, you poor thing, what happened to you?"

I wilted, avoiding her eyes as my ears splayed back. Fuck. Me and my dumb mouth getting away from me. I blamed the alcohol. "You really don't want to know."

"..." Mrs. Velvet stayed silent for a moment, a sad frown on her muzzle, and I could practically feel the pity radiating off her. Ugh, this was the reason why I didn't like talking about depressing shit. Everyone acted all weird and heartbroken, which, in turn, made me feel bad. It was easier to ignore everything back in Hell because nobody gave a shit. Here, people—ponies, I mean—actually cared and weren't bastards about it (generally speaking, at least).

"Don't," I muttered halfheartedly. "Just stop it already. Fuck, you're awful when you look like that. I swear, every damn time."

"...what?" Mrs. Velvet asked, puzzled.

"The pity, for fuck's sake," I grumbled, glaring moodily at her. "It's horrible seeing you so sad and sorrowful, as if someone just murdered a puppy in front of you."

"That's really morbid of you, dear."

"It's true, though," I shrugged gloomily. "Everypony is super expressive; it's like you're trying to guilt-trip me with your damn eyes."

"I'm sorry?" she responded unsurely. I snorted. Figured she wasn't doing it on purpose, too. Disgusting. "I'm not trying to force you into anything, I promise. It's just... hard to hear and imagine what you must've gone through. Of course, I'm concerned. You're like a daughter to me; I want what's best for you."

"Thanks," I mumbled, feeling a sickeningly happy flutter race through my body. God fucking damnit. It felt like I was an attention-starved kid, soaking up any familial affection directed toward me like a dry sponge. I hated it.

"Now, come on, it's getting late, and I'm sure you must be cold," Mrs. Velvet said, standing up. I did, as well, only wobbling slightly from the stiffness in my legs. She was correct; my royal regalia didn't lend itself to keeping me warm, and the heat of the mulled wine had long since faded after I had gotten no more refills. I should get back and face the music for most likely having worried Cadance with my temper tantrum.

I hoped she would forgive me for my outburst. I... I didn't actually mean it. I was just so... angry and frustrated. Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day. I was so looking forward to this holiday being over, seriously. Fuck Hearth's Warming.

I groaned the following morning as I felt a pair of hooves shake me insistently—so much for sleeping in on our free days. I opened my eyes a crack wide open and immediately closed them again as I caught sight of the grinning, pink nephilim. Ugh. I shouldn't have apologized to her. I really shouldn't have apologized to her. Was it too late to take it back? I wanted to take it back. "Leave me alone."

"Aww! Come on, Ish!" Cadance whined, and I grumbled balefully at her. I was already reconsidering my stance on our friendship... again. And yet, one look at the pink nuisance made me hesitate. Her hair was done in a pretty braid while her wings were extended in barely restrained anticipation. Why must she be so friggin' cute? It was not fair, damn it. I couldn't stay mad at her, and I hated it. "It's Gift Exchange Day!"

I snorted. "That's what you call Boxing Day here? That's a dumb name."

"Shut up and stop being such a sourpuss, Pleasure," she huffed, frowning at me. "Just have some fun, please? It's all about spending time with your loved ones, hugging your special somepony tight,"—she squeezed me as if to prove her point, making me blush imperceptibly—" and being merry. It's called Gift Exchange Day to show how much you appreciate everypony in your life, you know?"

I huffed, exasperated. "Okay, fine!" I grumbled. "Just... let me get ready first, for fuck's sake. Why do you have to wake me up so early every damn time?!"

"Because you wouldn't want to miss breakfast~!" she sing-songed, hopping down from my bed with a skip in her step.

I felt my eyelid twitch. "Don't forget to change to your visage!" I called after her as she left. I slumped back down on my pillow with my head and let out a tired groan. A glance at my alarm clock read sixteen minutes past seven a.m. in glowing red numbers. I yawned. It was way too fucking early.

I sighed. I should get out of bed before the pink nuisance came back and personally dragged me to the breakfast table.

One fight with my comb later, I looked less like a hair dryer exploded in my face and more like my usual dark and sinister, sinfully sexy self. Too bad I had to ruin it by turning into my sixteen-year-old teenage self, taking my impressive, curly ram horns and exchanging them for my lame unicorn horn. With any luck, it would grow half as long as Aunty Celestia's spear. It looked woefully small as of right now.

I glanced at my regalia and fidgeted. Surely, I could go without today, right? And yet, I still wanted to wear something. Hmm... what to do, what to do...

Instead of donning the metal shoes, the chest piece, and the tiara, I searched through my drawers until I found the black ballerinas I wore for my coronation and a lace choker. Perfect. A quick application of eyeliner and mascara made me look nice and presentable, a far cry from the bleary-eyed zombie I was before. Lastly, I put on a simple, little black dress. How's that for festive and merry? It was a bit over the top, but at least I oozed sex appeal.

"Looking nice~," Cadance hummed as soon as I left my suite. I almost stumbled as she bumped into me. I couldn't help but feel like she was a bit too affectionate, even with the holiday cheer making her insufferably happy.

"Okay, I'll bite," I said, frowning cautiously. "What's up with you?"

Cady let out a fake gasp, hugging me with a multi-colored, feathery wing. "What? Can't I walk with my best friend and favorite pony in the whole world to breakfast?"

I squirmed slightly at the close contact, my heart racing in nervousness. Fuck, she really wasn't making it easy for me to keep my resolve of not screwing everything up by adding feelings into our relationship that shouldn't be there.

My gaze turned skeptical as I glanced at her sideways. "Uh-huh."

"Okay, look, I... I'm sorry about pushing you so much to give dating a chance again," she said, ears drooping while her expression wandered downward. "It's just... a bad habit of mine, I guess. When I—Well..." I watched as she bit her lips, wondering why she was struggling. "When I see somepony I like, I get this urge to set them up with somepony that would be good for them. And you could really use somepony to love. I'm sorry if that's not something you want or are ready for. I've been a bad friend to you, Ish. Can you forgive me?"

I simultaneously felt like a weight lifted from my heart, and a cold feeling of rejection settled over me. Evidently, she didn't mean it in a 'like' like way, but in an 'I'm your friend, I want you to be with someone you love except for me' way. I forced myself to smile, hoping I didn't appear too awkward or sad. "It's okay, Cady. Water under the bridge," I said, even though I felt numb and far from fine. A demon didn't deserve love, anyway. It was for the best. What was I even thinking, indulging this silly crush for as long as I had?

Cadance seemed to accept my forgiveness for what it appeared to be: genuine and totally not heartbroken.

I guessed we were even now. It probably was for the best that we just stayed friends. She deserved better, anyway.

As we neared the dining room, we heard what could only be Sunset having a fight with Auntlestia. It sounded incredibly heated, and I was unsure whether or not it was wiser to skip out on Aunt Tia's cooking rather than get involved in whatever drama was unfolding between them. Luckily, we didn't have to choose as the doors were blasted open by an angry, amber unicorn with a fiery mane and tail. We quickly hid behind a pillar before either of them could notice us standing in the hallways.

"Sunset Shimmer Sol! Get back here. Right. This. Instant!" Aunty Sunnybum shouted after her, and I could practically feel the heat of her fury against my coat. "This conversation isn't over, young lady!"

"Go take your haughty 'holier-than-thou' attitude and shove it somewhere where the sun doesn't shine, you stupid old hag!" Sunset shot back, just as furious. "You're denying me what is rightfully mine! You're denying me my own destiny!"

"With an attitude like that, you don't deserve your 'destiny'!" Aunty Celestia called after her, and Cady and I ducked further behind the pillar to avoid being seen by either of them. This was beyond the usual arguments we witnessed occasionally, and it seemed neither of them could get over their bullheadedness and talk things out constructively.

"Oh, so you just give two random, featherbrained hussies the right to stand as your equal, but when the mirror shows me having a pair of wings and power beyond mortal comprehension, you suddenly try everything in your power to hinder me from reaching my full potential!"

"That is not what I am doing!" Aunty Cellyjelly responded, stomping her hoof in anger. I held Cady close, suddenly nervous that the sun goddess with incomprehensible power would lose control of her strength and cause a disaster. Thankfully, the minor earthquake made our aunt realize she let her nerves get the better of her. "Please, Sunset. I am trying to steer you away from the wrong path. I want you to succeed, but what you're asking of me is impossible. There is no quick and easy way to achieve ascension. Defying my teachings won't lead you there."

"Defying your teachings?!" Sunset growled, anger burning as hot as it did when we stumbled upon their argument. "Is that the only way to gain wings?! Play by your rules or not at all?! What did they do, huh? Tell me so I can do it better and prove to you I deserve my own destiny!"

"I can't," Aunt Celestia admitted, sounding defeated. I chanced a peek out from our hiding spot and saw her standing there with tears in her eyes. She looked so frail at that moment; my anger started to rise at how Sunset treated the pony who was, for all intents and purposes, her mother. How dare she..?!

"You know what? Don't talk to me unless you want to tell me how to become an alicorn. Go and be a happy family with the pink bitch and the whore. I thought you loved me."

I snarled to myself, about to go show that stupid bully who the bitch here was, but this time, Cadance held me back from exposing ourselves. Fuck the truce and fuck showing pity to Sunbutt Junior; she needed to learn a lesson in humility, damnit!

"Ish!" Cady hissed in my ear, but I wasn't in the mood to listen to her. "Stop it! Now is not the time!"

"And when is it, huh?!" I sneered back, straining against her restrictive hold. "Let go of me so I can tear into her for calling you a—"

"No, Ish!" she told me, her voice firm. "I thought you didn't want to get involved! I can take a petty insult or two; don't take your anger out on her! This is a fragile enough situation without you antagonizing her!"

"Antagonizing? Antagonizing?! This is retribution for all that she has put you through! For all that she has put Aunty Sunnybum through! She needs to get off her high horse and—"

"I know!" Cady interrupted me, switching her efforts of keeping me away from them into a soft hug instead. I was helpless against her affections and deflated into her embrace. Fuck. This girl, I swear. I just couldn't stay angry when I was around her. "I know, Ish. But just like Sunbutt can't turn her into an alicorn, we can't risk making it even worse between them. I want to see them get along, too, believe me, but this is the wrong approach."

I sighed, nodding my head reluctantly. She wasn't wrong, but it still irked me to no end. I snorted softly. "I never thought I would hear you call her anything other than Aunty. Sunbutt? Really? That was the second time now, wasn't it? Have I been rubbing off on you~?"

"Yes, well..." Cadance began, blushing slightly. "She can be a real butt sometimes. I don't think spelling it out to them would be enough to get them to admit they're mother and daughter to each other."

I slumped further into her embrace and guiltily breathed in her scent with another sigh. The scent of roses intoxicated me. "Yeah..." I agreed. At least I could enjoy moments like these and forget the rest of the world. What did it matter if she didn't feel the same way I did? I could still admire her and bask in any affection I could get away with. It was in no way creepy at all. Nope.

"Comfy?" my best friend asked me, prompting me to say 'Yes' before my brain caught up with my mouth, and I blushed, mortified. Cadance only smiled beautifully back at me, causing me to feel a painful yearning to kiss her lips. Fuck. If only... "Come on, I think the coast is clear."

I suppressed the sadness welling up within me and followed after her. For obvious reasons, Aunty Celestia wasn't at the breakfast table as we entered, which left us alone since Blueblood avoided running into us as much as Sunset tried to. I eyed the happy smiley face on top of the pancakes, lamenting that we could've had a nice morning together with our aunt if Sunset hadn't ruined it.

"...do you think a therapist might help?" I asked, wondering out loud.

"For Sunset?" Cadance hummed. "I think the better question would be if she would even agree to see one. The chances of her listening to us or Aunty are slim, so... unless she feels the need to speak to one herself, I don't think it's going to happen."

I nodded silently to myself, knowing how true those words were. I still had to work up the determination to go see one myself. I felt way too defensive when Mrs. Velvet brought it up the first time, but I knew she had a point. I really needed it, more so than Sunset, probably. Unlike Sunset, I couldn't just go to any therapist and talk about my issues. That wouldn't go over well.

"So... since you aren't touching your food, how about you open this instead?" Cadance said, placing a little wrapped package in front of me. I raised a brow and reached out to slip the decorative golden bow off. The paper wrapping was ripped away a second later, and I stared at the velvety jewelry box in my grasp. Seriously? "Go on!" my friend encouraged me, a knowing smile on her muzzle.

"Cady, you know I'm not the kind of pony for this stuff, right?" I pointed out, hesitating at the lid.

Cadance snorted. "Says the pony currently wearing a lace choker around her throat."

"That's... different," I defended myself, blushing slightly. It looked edgy and fit into the Gothic princess style I've got going on for myself. Whatever jewelry Cadance got for me, it probably wouldn't fit with my image.

"Hmm... I doubt it," she said, shaking her head good-naturedly. "Come on! Open it. I promise you'll like it."

I rolled my eyes, doing as I was told. If Cadance was so insistent on getting disappointed by my reaction, then that was her problem. After pulling it open, I glanced down and stared at the content inside. "I... what?"

"I saw how you looked at them, so I thought I'd get them for you. Do you like it now?" she asked, a mischievous grin on her muzzle.

"Cadance, I... I love you," I blurted out, grabbing her in a happy hug and squeezing the life out of her for all that she was worth.

"Okay, okay!" she giggled, patting my back while I showered her with gratitude and affection. "We will have to get your ears pierced, but Aunty assured me it would be no problem."

I grinned, studying the piercings with eager eyes. As soon as I had the holes for them, I would never take them out.

"I see some ponies are already unwrapping their gifts," Auntia said as she re-entered the little private dining room. She smiled softly. "I'm sorry for being late, my dear nieces. Something important came to my attention, and I had to take care of it. Politics, am I right?"

Cadance and I saw the remnants of her puffy eyes, the less-than-perfect eyeliner, and the fake smile. And while Cady looked at her with pity and empathy, I felt my wings and jaw tighten. Don't get me wrong, I was grateful for her forgiving nature and all that but damn her forgiving nature. If it were up to me, I would have kicked Sunset out of the castle after what she accused her of doing, but no, Aunty Sunnybum just had to have a heart, for fuck's sake.

It was becoming abundantly clear to me that Auntia's and Sunset's relationship turned more and more abusive on Sunset's part. The girl was basically blackmailing her surrogate mother into getting what she wanted, while Auntlestia was too much of a coward to admit Sunset was her daughter in all but blood. She was too afraid to discipline her because she feared their strained relationship might fall apart even further. Thus, she let the bitch walk all over her.

Fuck this stupid drama. I was so tired of this bullshit, but what was I supposed to do? Sit back and let the fireworks fly? Before arriving in Equestria, I probably would have done that. Heck, I still would, were it not for her being the pony I genuinely saw as my aunt. So... what was I going to do about it? Obviously, antagonizing Sunset was out of the question. Try to be her friend and get her to calm the fuck down? Yeah, no. Even if we tried that, it would backfire on us immediately because Sunset was just that big of a jealous bitch.

Well, there was an option, but whether or not it would work was another matter entirely. I had to get them into one room, prevent them from leaving prematurely, and hold a fucking intervention. Preferably with a goddamn therapist present. The only real problem was Sunset's magic. If I could somehow suppress that, everything would be good to go. I doubted Aunty Celestia, of all ponies, would escalate the fight on purpose or leave, so sedating or temporarily paralyzing Sunset was going to be my best bet. Or severing her horn, but I was pretty sure that would end with me back in Hell. Not to mention, Aunty Sunnybum wouldn't like me mutilating her surrogate daughter.

So much for happy holidays. Yay.