Stakeout assignments didn't come naturally for Rainbow Dash.

After all, her most taxing task usually consisted of pummeling powdery clouds into submission, in order to maintain a clear sky and keep bad weather at bay.

But, as was a generally unspoken truth among her fellow weather-duty pegasi, chasing clouds around all day was boring.

They’re slow, grey, disintegrate on impact… where’s the challenge?! Rainbow understood the importance of her job, really she did; but that didn’t mean she couldn’t crave something a tad more stimulating sometimes. I’m not saying I want there to be a major catastrophe anywhere, though sometimes I think they should change the name of this town to ‘Dullsville’. I just wish… I didn’t have to wait so long to become a Wonderbolt. Oh why did you have to set the bar so high, Spitfire?

That’s why, despite their initial fractious encounter, Rainbow was immediately intrigued by the sudden appearance of the strange lavender unicorn in her midst. I know what Applejack meant earlier when she said she sensed a… connection with Twilight. Almost as if we’d met before. But that’s not possible… right? And how did she know so much about me, if that wasn’t the case?

She’d initially blamed these intrusive feelings down to the light-headedness caused by soaring too high into the atmosphere, or the stress of the upcoming Summer Sun Festival (although, her assigned contribution to the special occasion seemed a piece of cake, if she could stay suitably undistracted long enough for at least five minutes… which, for a mare like Rainbow Dash, was trickier than it sounded).

But like a particularly bad case of wing cramp, the nagging sensation in the back of her head just wouldn’t go away, thoughts that were further exacerbated by her ‘eventful’ meet-up with the others and Spike at Sugarcube Corner earlier.

I’m pretty sure I’d remember if I’d ever met a dragon before, especially one so tiny… and yesterday alone I’d have put good bits on that fact. But as soon as I saw that scaly creature next to Twilight boasting away and causing trouble… I dunno, I can’t shake off the feeling I’d seen him somewhere before. Maybe… because I sensed a kindred spirit? Nah…

Rainbow had struggled to keep a straight face in the cafe earlier alongside her new friends Rarity and Applejack, even as Spike’s clumsiness involving a steaming hot latte had ‘scarred the fashionista for life’ and his undeniably impressive antics with rapid milkshake-drinking had consigned the Pegasus’s own long-standing record to the trash can of history.

Got to admit, I did kinda dig the kid. Rainbow had confessed to herself, whilst trying to maintain a serious decorum to those around her. He looked like a lot of fun. I didn’t want the others to think I was jumping to conclusions before we knew if he and his ‘sister’ were dangerous though, so I kept my best poker face on at all times. It’s the one I’ve practised I’ll wear during Wonderbolts initiation, so I think it’s a pretty good one.

Of course, what could’ve been the beginning of a beautiful friendship petered out like a particular crumbly cumulus as soon as Rainbow discovered him and his nefarious unicorn partner-in-crime’s alleged plan to Destroy Equestria, and their apparent attempt at committing major arson on his old flight school buddy Fluttershy’s beloved cottage.

This had instantly turned the reptilian rascal from potential friend to perpetual fiend in the justice-seeking head of Rainbow, so now she unhesitatingly pursued the fugitive pair through the dark, dense foliage of the Everfree undetected on the orders of Applejack…

…Humongous Cyclops or no humongous Cyclops, nopony did something like that to one of her best pals and got away with it. Especially one as timid and kind-hearted as Fluttershy.

What kind of criminal masterminds are these supposed to be, anyway? All they ever seem to do is argue and bicker like family game night, before stopping for a rest then quarrelling some more… Rainbow Dash observed from her convenient aerial vantage point, wondering what their ‘big plan’ was. Sowing seeds of chaos in Canterlot, then spreading disharmony to Ponyville… and now they’re just going for a casual walk in the woods? Something ain’t right here. I just know it.

Remembering the stark warnings of the Wanted poster she’d read back in town though, and with a strange desire to earn Applejack’s praise, she cast her doubts aside and unerringly followed them on, even as the ‘dastardly duo’ entered the less explored regions of the dreaded forest.

Where the hay are they going, as the light starts to fade? Wherever it is, they better be careful; I’ve heard rumours of creatures just ahead that make the one-eyed purple giant they encountered before look like lil Breezies. Even with her unbelievable power, Twilight might struggle to contain monsters of that size and strength, and I’m not gonna fly in and rescue them eithe… “what the?!”

A ground-shaking and almost unbearably high-pitched scream could suddenly be heard emerge from Twilight’s wide open mouth, so elongated both in length and volume that even a hardy soul such as Rainbow Dash instinctively took fright and flight. She followed a flock of cawing crows to go take refuge behind a yew tree, peering down as hard as she could to see what could’ve caused the terrifying reaction from the visibly stressed-out unicorn.

I can’t believe where she was just looking. Was she… checking herself out? Maybe she just had a nasty itch back there, but still… to rub yourself so vigorously like that, and then to screech afterwards loud fit enough to wake the dead? If she wasn’t my new personal nemesis, perhaps I’d recommend she went to Nurse Sweetheart about that scratchy rash… but as I’m trying to put an end to her international reign of terror, I’ll do nothing of the sort. Hope it hurts like Tartarus.

Rainbow channelled the spirit of her favourite comic book superheroes as she continued to observe the pair from her new treetop location, occasionally turning around to shush the raucous group of crows perched just behind her.

“Be quiet, you dumb birds! This is a spy mission of the highest security, and you’re stopping me from finding out the secrets of the enemy. So either be quiet, or go away… as the very future of Equestria could depend on what I discover upon this very evening. Honestly, talk about jeopardising the assignment… aargh!”

Now it was Rainbow’s turn to scream, although not nearly comparable with Twilight’s glass-shattering exclamation just a few minutes earlier. Just because Rainbow’s surprised expression there didn’t quite rival Twilight’s own tenor before however, it didn’t mean the consequences that followed didn't turn out as dramatic.

You see, contrary to what the pegasus had just said to nopony in particular, crows are actually pretty smart birds… and they don’t take too kindly to being told to ‘shush’ on their own tree. Or be publicly insulted, for that matter.

So it was an easy decision, as Rainbow turned her head back once more to continue her silent vigil of the on-the-run duo below, that the matriarch of the bird family nodded to her mate, then he to their children, then they to their children’s children…

It wasn’t long afterwards that a mob of irate black-feathered avian lifeforms were pecking and scratching the unsuspecting Rainbow Dash with all their frenzied might, especially around the eye and facial area.

Let it be known for the record that crows don’t care too much about fighting fair, either.

Clinging onto the tree for dear life as she was, Rainbow Dash couldn’t hope to shoo away such abundant numbers, so within seconds of being engulfed by cackling birds desperate to teach the trespassing pegasus a lesson she wouldn’t soon forget, she lost her grip…

And now I think we’re up to speed.

“I know you said you wanted to ‘get close’ to Rainbow Dash, but I didn’t think you’d take it this far.” It was fun ribbing my still lost and confused sister when she was in no fit state to respond, even though I was still genuinely concerned as to if she was seriously hurt or not. Honest. “Now, how many hooves am I holding up?”

“Wha… where am I? Who are you? What are hooves?!”

“Close enough. You’ll live.” I rolled my eyes as I recognised Daisy’s playacting for sympathy from a mile away, and helped her back to her feet. “Now that we’ve discovered you don’t need major brain surgery more than you do already, I suppose we better interrogate the prisoner. Hey, you! What were you doing up there; were you spying on us? You better answer all my questions, before I give you the waterboard treatment…!”

“Calm down, Big Brother! Can’t you see she’s hurt?” Daisy winced slightly as she stepped forward, hinting that in the absence of any painkillers she’d probably have a bit of a migraine for the foreseeable future. “I know she was pretty rude to me earlier, but she’s still kinda my idol. Isn’t there anything we can do to help her now?”

“Hmm, I don’t know. I’ve seen this movie before, where the hero takes pity on the bad guy in an abandoned warehouse when he has the chance to defeat him… and what d’ya know. No sooner as he looks away, he’s pushed into a vat of molten lava… but he’s not dead, you see. Because the lava was really cherry ice cream, it was all just a plan to get a confession, and…”

“You watch some really weird stuff don’t you, Big Brother?”

“...It was an anime, okay? The wackiness kind of comes with the territory. And you’re a fine one to talk, with this Five Nights At Freddie’s phase of yours I’ve only just heard about. I can’t wait to discuss the finer details of what you’ve been watching with Mum when we get home. Hope you enjoy reruns of Barney The Dinosaur and Dora The Explorer as your sole televisual viewing experiences from now on, that’s all I can say!”

“Darren Jones!! You wouldn’t dare.”

“Wanna bet?”

“...Oh that’s right, you would. Please don’t tell her though, please. Don’t you think she’ll have had enough to deal with already, because of worrying about us when we’ve been gone for so long?”

“For all we know Daise, time could’ve stood still while we’ve been away; after all, we are talking about completely unexplored magical science here. And don’t use emotional blackmail to keep me quiet; considering everything she’s had to put up with involving Dad the last few years, I’m sure Mum is more than capable of dealing with multiple problems all at once. Now, how best to break it to her that her daughter is a potential psychopath, alongside being an unrepentant scrunchie-stealer and bestie-bullier…”

“B-Big Brother… I told you all those things about Florian and me in the strictest of confidence!”

“Well, that was your funeral, wasn’t it? At least, unlike you, when I’ve got important information like that, I don’t subjectively reveal it at the most awkward moment; I spill my guts about it straightaway. Makes things a lot less complicated, don’t you think?”

“H-How could you… I-I’ll never speak to you again…”

“Don’t tempt me even more than I am already, Daisy. I can just see it now; the look of pure disappointment on Mum’s face… the decade-long grounding… the cute grinning purple dinosaur who’ll be your new favourite TV character. No more My Little Pony, no more Icarly, no more anything but stuff made for big babies like you. What is it Barney sings again? ‘I love you, you love me’…”

“That's it! I don’t care what I promised earlier; The Tickle Monster is now uncaged and officially out of retirement, and his deadly claws are heading straight towards your tender belly. Hope you’re ready to be reduced to tears again as he works his magic. Here he comes, like it or not. RROOAARR!!”

Oops. Sorry, whosoever might be reading this now, if you thought me and my little sister were having a serious fight for the last few paragraphs. It might be the exception to the rule, but occasionally we do like to kid around.

A bit healthier than all out warfare, don’t you think? Perhaps we should do it more often to ‘clear the air’, so to speak.

But as my draconic sister mock-dived towards me, claws out ready to admonish her tickly ‘punishment’ and I reacted in ‘shock’ by holding her in mid-air with my awesome new powers, something happened just behind us to bring our merry revelry to a screeching halt.

“Nnnnggggg… Where am I? Who am I…?”

“Oh, great. Don’t tell me you’ve been teaching Rainbow Dash that stupid amnesia trick of yours, Daisy? Really, if it’s not bad enough trying and failing to use it to get out of going to the dentist, now you want to corrupt innocent cartoon characters too? You better not be demonstrating the finer points of nose-picking and musical-belching to her as well…”

“I-I’ve done nothing of the sort! A-And I don’t think she’s kidding, Darren. She’s actually lost her memory… huh. Who’d have thought that kind of thing was real; I always believed it was something they made up for movies and stuff.”

But as Daisy seemed quite taken with the idea that a medical condition she’d faked for so long wasn’t just the preserve of bad fiction, I happened to have slightly more pressing concerns.

Namely… what do we do with Rainbow now? How are we going to explain this to the other ponies? Will it affect our mission to bring down Nightmare Moon? And… if I bash my own head repeatedly against this here tree trunk, maybe I’ll be lucky enough to come down with the rare mallady and all this nonsense would just fade away into the background?

Alas, as simple a solution as the last idea I had there was, in reality I couldn’t even try it. You see, as the oldest one here and therefore the most mature (stop laughing at the back), I had ‘certain responsibilities’ to ‘live up to’.

This meant not ‘taking the easy way out’ of the situation and dealing with the matter at hoof ‘in an effective and efficient manner’.

Thanks Mum, for pummeling those life lessons into my head with such fervour and frequency that I couldn’t possibly derogate from the program.

And ‘thanks’ Dad too… although his method of ‘pummeling’ me was slightly different. The f*cking bastard.

So it was, as a bewildered Rainbow Dash wandered aimlessly about the forest, looking for all the world like a filly starting her first day of school, I took a deep breath and stepped forward to shake her hoof.

“Hi, I’m Twilight Sparkle. This is my, um, good buddy Spike. And… and… this might take a while.”

Author's Note

What did I tell you? I soon as I MADE the time... the latest chapter was marked off the list, and here it is for your perusal.

Until next time then... hopefully, sooner than you think. October is usually a pretty barren month.