The Story of J

“All I want to know is who you are. Can’t you see that the more I know about your kind the better I am able to help you in case you get hurt?” Twilight said trying to get me to see the bigger point in her obsession with learning more about my species. I swear that this mare tries to know everything about everything. If I told her about spaceships and airplanes she’d just about have a heart attack at the impossibility of it. Don’t even try to bring up electricity in the matter. No, the way I figured it I’m entitled to keep my own secrets. The only thing that they knew about me was that I was a human and I came from a different world, hell maybe even different universe. Still this mare never stopped trying to pry this information out of me. It’s a wonder that she hasn’t tried to probe my mind. Hell I wonder why Sunbutt didn’t try either. This means either they were being polite or they don’t know how to. I’m going with option a here, seeing how I’ve read a book about how to do it. The way Unicorns do magic is pretty odd. According to them all one needs really is a way to channel the dormant magic that lies with in all ponies. Anyway I’m thinking this through all the while Twilight is talking to me trying to get me to see reason. I finally notice that she’s glaring at me waiting for an answer.

“Well you see Twilight when a man tries to argue with a woman they just don’t win. Want to know why? It’s simply because a woman is a woman. Nothing more and nothing less. I’m sure it’s the same complex here too. When a stallion argues with a mare, the mare wins because she is simply female and believes that they are in the right whilst the male is in the wrong.” I say as if lecturing a group of kids pacing back and forth. “Now you might be thinking what this has to do with me telling you about my past and all of its many exciting principles then you were just too stupid to read in between the lines and figure out that I just threw you a bone.” I say ending my little speech with a bow. I look up to see a confused Twilight and I smile knowing I lost her on a while ago. I turn to leave when Twilight speaks up.

“That made no sense at all and that’s sexist. Stallions don’t lose arguments over mares just because mares are mares. Also you didn’t throw me anything much less a bone and why would you throw me a bone? Are you trying to imply that I am a dog?” Twilight says trying to make me seem like an ass, which she would be right.

“You know I’m feeling mighty bored in this library I think I’m going to go introduce myself to the mare ahead of schedule.” I say with a yawn clearly bored with Twilight’s talking. This only infuriates her even more.

“No! You’re going to ruin the whole schedule I planned out for the entire day!” Twilight yelled at me as if that was going to make me listen to here. Sadly for her I really didn’t want to get my ear chewed out by some purple unicorn for the next three hours waiting for when we were going to meet the mayor. So I did the most logical thing ever. I stood up and walked right out the tree all the while Twilight was ranting so much that she didn’t even notice that I left until much later. As soon as I stepped out of the tree the light outside all but blinded me. When you’re stuck in a tree for a few days you’re not use to the brightness of outdoors. So I stood outside the library my hand over my eyes trying to get use to the brightness when I hear some screams close to where I am. I’m still dazed as I turn to see ponies screaming incoherently about me. It was quite funny some called me giant some ape and others more or less just ran in pure terror. I saw everyone duck into their homes and barrage their doors. It was quite amusing seeing how terrified they were.

As soon as I got used to being outdoors I looked around to see the small village clearly. They were a bunch of medieval looking houses and there seemed to be a town square. I walked around the place looking to and fro at the different ponies cowering behind their windows; let me tell you I could feel the love going out to the different species. I approached a shop that looked like a gingerbread home and I felt a little hungry. I approached the door and bent down to open the door. I squeezed through the door and heard a little chime of a bell. I looked up to see the beaming face of whom else other than Pinkie Pie. Now bear in mind that I haven’t had a real chance to really get to know Pinkie so I wasn’t prepared for the sudden hooves grabbing my face at that second. My brain could not register the fact that Pinkie Pie in all her law bending manner was one second at the counter of the shop smiling at me to gripping me in the most impressive bear hug I’ve ever been given.

“OhmygoshJitsbeensolongsincewelastsaweachotherandiwaslikeimissmyspecialfriendwhoactuallygetsmeformeanddoesntjudgemeliketherestoftheponiesanddontgetmewrongthegirlsarecooltobearoundbutyoumakemefeelsospecailandhappyandwantedandloveditsjustsodreamyyouknowwhatimean?” Pinkie said to me. At the time I couldn’t understand what she had said. It was surprising that she said all this in one breath and moved her hooves around while at the same time hugging the crap out of me. I reached up and tapped her on the shoulder and pointed to my red face that wasn’t getting any oxygen in it. She let go with a cheesy smile that could melt butter away. I coughed and gasped for air greedily as I never appreciated air more than that moment. I finally manage to reply to her.

“Pinkie I didn’t understand a single word you said there and wait are you doing here?” I ask with curiosity in my voice.

“Oh silly filly I work her at Sugercube Corner don’t you know that?” Pinkie responds as if I knew this.

“No of course I didn’t know that you pink devil.” I say pinching her getting a giggle and a blush from her. “Anyway what did you say to me earlier I couldn’t hear you?” I ask curious to interrupt the babble she had spoken to my surprise she blushed deeply as she responds

“Ohh, nothing.” As she looked at the ground pawing it bashfully I could tell it was something embarrassing. That made me grin as I approach her slowly.

“Oh really, then why are you looking at the ground? Don’t tell me you’ve fallen for me already? It’s only been a couple of days since we’ve known each other or am I just that alluring?” I ask seductively and as I say the last word I pull her towards me lifting her head up to see into her eyes. I bring close to me as I if we were going to kiss and her pink mane is now a deep red as she blushed furiously at me. I lightly brush my hand against her mane and I can feel her body all but melt into my hand. I suddenly walk past her and grab a muffin behind the counter and start to munch on it. “This is a damn good muffin my compliments to the chef.” I say with my mouth full. Pinkie bounces right next to me saying

“Those are Derpy’s muffins she usually makes them for herself but she made extra today. You should try one of my cupcakes. Their super yummy!”

“Uhh I’d love to but cupcakes aren’t really my thing their way too sweet for my taste.” As I say this I feel the entire room go cold. I look at Pinkie to see glaring at me. It was as if her eyes were stabbing me. “You know what who am I kidding I love cupcakes their pretty damn awesome, yeah.” I say awkwardly knowing that if I said otherwise there’d be hell to pay. Pinkie suddenly beams at me handing me dozens of different cupcakes to try and so begins my journey of cupcakes. With each bite of these strangely decorated cupcakes it was as if I was chewing on nothing else but sugar. I choked down the first bite, as I felt ill the minute I put it in my mouth. I looked at her face as it just lit up her world to see that I was eating her cupcakes and knew that I couldn’t stop. I mean a regular Pinkie is manageable; a depressed one is hell on Equestria. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings which striked me as odd because I could give a rat’s ass less about anyone else but her. Something about her just made me want to protect her and make her happy. Pinkie kept getting me more and more cupcakes to try. Vanilla flavor, chocolate, pecan, fudge, strawberry and so many more all filled with ungodly amounts of sugar. I couldn’t stop eating them for fear that I would upset her. Dozens turned into to hundreds and hundreds into thousands. I don’t know how there were so many there just was or how I ate them all. I was more than full when Twilight came bursting through the door looking for me. I saw her angry face and almost rejoiced that I had been saved.

“Where have you been? I can’t believe that you just left me talking to myself at the library. I am so mad at you right now. Well what do you have to say for yourself?” Twilight asks. I got up and wobbled over to Twilight while she looked at me her eyes actually somewhat concerned as I said.

“I don’t feel so good.” I fell to the ground choking down on the bile that was rising. I couldn’t hold it anymore and just barely turned away from Twilight as I threw up on the floor and myself. I felt all the cupcakes I had eaten forced out of my system back out onto the floor leaving a disgusting taste in my mouth of sugar and bile. All I could think before slipping into unconsciousness, ‘I fucking hate cupcakes.’

A/N: So trying to get into the habit of writing a chapter once every week. It's working out pretty well. So critique is wanted and desired, I can't fix what I don't see wrong and your opinion matters to me. So leave me some comments and i'll get to ya.

CA/N: now that we got this pattern going we should get alot more done thanx for all comments and opinions