Author's Note

My bad on the 'phantom update.' I mistakenly hit publish on the chapter while I was finishing up reading and editing last night.

Chapter 17

"Holy shit, what a nightmare."

I toss my keys onto the kitchen counter before meandering over to the familiar old couch. Flopping down backward over the armrest, the tired old couch cushions let out a whump before sagging. It feels like everything Midnight and I had to retrieve out back this afternoon was either broken, rusted to hell, or otherwise a major project to remove.

As a result, a lot of new swears and insults had been invented by both of us. A Nobel Prize might be in the cards for our contributions to the world today.

*Ahem*

I can feel Midnight's eyes staring at me with disapproval as she noisily reminds me of her presence. Rather than pay her any direct attention, I look up at the ceiling before closing my eyes.

"No room at the inn."

"I'll make room if need be," she warns.

I point in the general direction of the chair that sits against the wall, opposite the couch. "That's free, there ya go."

"Alright then."

I feel a weight suddenly manifest upon my legs, forcing me to open my eyes for a gander at what she just did.

Midnight has hopped up to lay not on the couch but on top of my lower legs. Despite her size, she's lighter than I ever would have expected.

"Get off, you fatass," I grumble despite that internal observation.

"I gave you a choice, and this is the fate you chose. Deal with it," she shoots back, sticking her nose up like some snob.

"At least I got you back on your side of the couch," I retort.

"Yeah, I'm not moving any further up because I don't trust you with how clingy you've become."

Oh-ho-ho.

"Well now, who is the one thinking about where my crotch is?" I tease.

With a deeply chiseled frown, Midnight reaches over with a hoof and swats me right in the aforementioned area.

It takes a few seconds for agony to manifest - but it's nausea-inducing.

"Ow ow ow! You fucker!" I howl, shielding my jewels from any further attack while attempting to sit up.

Midnight allows that movement, rising off of my legs before sitting down in the now-empty void.

"As I said, you had a choice," she haughtily repeats before clearing her throat."What are we doing for food tonight?"

"You're really going to ask me about dinner after doing that?!"

She merely shrugs, indifferent to my pain. "I suppose I'll just eat some raw hamburger or some jerky if you're going to continue to be a little girl. That was self-inflicted, as far as I'm concerned."

Man, she's cold.

Right now, anyway.

In reality, Midnight has been quite receptive to personal discussion lately. Discussions about her feelings, her anxieties, and concerns. It has been a daily routine for me to inquire about such things because I know it's the only way to spur such conversations with her.

Regardless it's a step in the right direction.

Fortunately, she's been much more relaxed once the whole thing with Teddy blew over.

Of course, in her mind, I'm being clingy now.

If only she knew how I really felt. But now is not the time for that.

The pain eventually subsides and I swing my legs and feet over onto the floor rather than the couch. That's all it takes for Midnight to jump over to the middle cushion, right beside me.

"So who's being clingy again?" I ask, gesturing to her movements.

"I'm sorry, do you want more pain?" she threatens, raising a hoof with a smirk.

"No."

"Then shut up."

"Man, you're really abusive."

"Aw, who are you gonna tell?" she sarcastically pouts.

"I'll call the cops," I threaten, reaching for the phone in my pocket.

"Call the cops, I don't give a fuck," she replies "Imagine how they will react when you tell em a pony beat you up."

I do pull my phone out, but it's merely to toss it on the coffee table in front of me.

"Well, jokes aside - what do you want for food?" I ask.

Again, I get a shrug.

"I dunno. I thought maybe you had something in mind," she answers, returning to a more calm and reserved tone and posture.

"Not really. I'd honestly rather not even fuck with cooking after today's struggles. Probably mess something else up," I respond with an accompanying half chuckle.

"You know me. I already told you what I'm good with if you aren't up for food."

She really has become somewhat addicted to beef jerky since the one time I brought it home for myself. Midnight evidently thought it was for her - and the first time I went to get a snack, it was gone.

She ate the whole damn bag in one sitting - I was a little miffed about that. But it at least gave me an idea for something else to buy for her to munch on.

Even though she has no qualms about eating raw meat, I still don't like the idea. Midnight does it anyway, of course. Or because she knows I don't like it.

"Well... did you maybe want to try going out somewhere to get something to eat?" I suggest, feeling hopeful.

Even though she manages to keep a straight face, I notice Midnight tensing up at the suggestion, as I expected. After a week of having the necklace with the secret chip in it, she has still been hesitant to venture out.

I've only mentioned it a couple of times, but the reaction has been cold every time.

"Like what?" she inquires, remaining cautious.

"Could just do fast food - burgers or something like that," I reply. "I know you still have some reservations about going out and about, but it shouldn't be too bad if we stay in the truck, right?"

"Maybe," she answers. Her voice betrays the insincerity behind it.

"Middie, are you ever going to feel comfortable with the idea of going out in public? I'm not trying to be mean, but I feel like, at some point, I'm going to have to twist your arm on this."

"First off, I don't have arms," she replies.

"It's a saying. Stop trying to change the subject."

Midnight frowns, disappointed that I didn't take the obvious bait.

"I... don't feel like it's a necessary risk, John," she admits. "What if it doesn't work? What if someone like Teddy recognizes me for the freak that I am - except they aren't so sympathetic?"

"You aren't a freak, stop saying that," I scold her.

It's a term I'm finding she uses toward herself from time to time when she's feeling insecure. I absolutely despise hearing it now.

"Fine. We'll use your word - 'unique,'" she replies with an attitude and accompanying loathful face.

I merely stare at her, unimpressed.

"Can we get past that hangup?"

"I'm going to be a dickhead about it until you stop using that toward yourself, so that's entirely up to you," I remind her. "But aside from that - look, there's a lot of what-ifs in the world. At some point, if you worry too much about what could happen, you miss out on things. I'm not saying you have no reason to feel some sort of concern because it's better to be cautious than carefree. But I really think it would be good for you to venture out, even if it was still inside a vehicle."

"And you're going to keep nagging me about it until I agree, aren't you?"

I nod my head, causing Midnight to exhale.

"Fine."

I mentally fist pump at the small victory, while calmly getting back up off of the couch.

Midnight falls in line behind me as I fetch my keys off of the counter. The thought that we're really going out in the world for the first time causes me to turn to make sure Midnight still has her pendant on. I rarely see her without it, but better safe than sorry.

"You gonna gawk at me, or are we going?" she sasses.

"Both, maybe?" I joke.

Midnight isn't too thrilled with that response, but I know it's due to the circumstances she faces now. After all - this will be the first time she's seen the outside world. The gravity of that is beginning to hit me as we track out of the upstairs living quarters and down the steps.

Obviously, she's seen some people being out in the junkyard - but it's never been very busy. Nothing like even the small town nearby.

At least it's just that - a small, rather quiet town. Anything else might be a sensory overload for her.

Midnight opens the gate while I get in the Trailduster and crank it up, driving through while she holds the path clear. Once past, I park while Midnight closes up again and clambers back into the passenger seat.

"Seat belt," I say in jest, motioning to the apparatus on the roof pillar.

"I will smack the fuck out of you if you seriously make me sit in an awkward way to fit that damn thing," she barks.

"Take a deep breath, Midnight," I quietly instruct her.

She makes a face at my efforts of guidance but nonetheless follows the advice with a slow inhale and exhale.

"Good. Thank you."

"Will you just go already?" she spouts.

Like a bandaid, it is clear we are just going to have to bear it and rip this off.

Following her orders, I set off down the road. The chunky tread of the tires makes their presence known early on with a loud hum against the pavement.

"What is that noise?" Midnight asks, confused.

"Tires are more for offroad than pavement, so the tread makes that noise. Nothing to worry about."

"You ever consider getting another vehicle then? You know, so you don't have to drive this thing on the road?"

"Not really. I got used to it, and as you're aware, I've not had the funds to really feel comfortable with buying a second car."

It does feel a bit better on the road with the new shocks and springs. The roads aren't particularly smooth around here, so it would sometimes feel like riding a trampoline at fifty miles per hour.

As we make our way toward town, we pass a few oncoming cars with their headlights on, making me realize the days are ever so slightly beginning to grow shorter.

I've grown accustomed to the heat, but this summer has been pretty brutal. I'm looking forward to the temperatures that fall and winter will bring.

Fortunately, I won't have to deal with the white bullshit they call 'snow.'

I flick on the headlights before bringing attention to my passenger's movements. It's something I have noticed out of the corner of my vision.

Every time oncoming traffic gets close, Midnight is hunching down in her seat.

This night really isn't going to be fun for her. I'm starting to feel bad about forcing Midnight from her comfort zone. But, she will never get comfortable unless she's exposed to this sort of thing.

"Have you been able to make out the faces of any drivers or passengers in the cars we've passed?" I ask after about the fourth instance.

"...No?" Midnight responds, confused as to the correct answer for such an odd question.

"I assure you neither can they. You can relax, Middie."

"You've really taken to that name, haven't you?" she muses.

"You don't really seem to be bothered by it anymore," I reply.

"There are worse names you could use - I'll pick my battles here," she reasons. "I still don't know why you like it."

I can't help but grin a little bit before answering.

"Because it sounds cute."

Midnight's face scrunches up in disapproval and disgust. "I'm not cute," she argues.

I cock my head and grin wider.

"You're so damn cute when you're grumpy."

"Eyes on the road, please," she grumbles, turning away.

At the very least, that's two cars she hasn't noticed go by while I've toyed with her.

It is only a ten-minute drive into town, just enough time to settle on an old-style drive-in fast food joint that I have stopped by on occasion. They aren't exactly as fast as a modern fast food restaurant, and they are more expensive - but the atmosphere and the quality make it worthwhile in my personal opinion.

Midnight isn't one to dress up her food in regards to toppings or even spices, but the barbeque they have to offer is probably going to be right up her alley.

"I know from experience their brisket is good when they have it. That's only a special once in a while."

"What's brisket?"

"...you know what, I don't really know. But it's meat, and it's good."

My choices on food are more open - but now that I mentioned the brisket to her...

Midnight watches as a waitress streaks by on a pair of roller skates.

"Is this a normal occurrence?" she asks, raising a brow at the scene.

"No. I think it kinda was at one time, but this is sort of a retro joint. They bring the food out to you, and those roller skates make service a bit quicker, I guess. Or just for show."

"Have you ever seen one wipe out?"

I cock my head at the question. "Boy, you have some evil thoughts."

Midnight retains her deadpan stare that's focused squarely upon me at this point. "Yet you're trying not to smile. So who's really in the wrong here?" she shoots back.

"I would never laugh at such a sight," I say, pretending to be aghast.

"Uh-huh. So I take it that's a lie, because you have seen it, and you did laugh."

"I felt guilty about it afterward," I mumble, hanging my head.

Before Midnight can respond with another remark, the waitress who zipped by just moments ago appears at my window.

"Hiya, how are you doing tonight?" she greets me, apparently oblivious to my passenger.

"I think we're doing pretty good," I answer with a smile.

The blonde glances over and spies Midnight. "Aww, it's another one of those pony bots!" she gushes with enthusiasm. "She looks so cute."

"I'm not cute," Midnight mutters through gritted teeth.

"Don't mind her, she's a little sensitive about that sort of thing," I reassure the girl as her smile fades just a bit.

"Sorry about that," she says to Midnight. "What can I get for you tonight?"

I glance back over to Midnight, who is taken aback by the attention on her so suddenly.

"What?"

"You know what you want?"

"I think so," she replies, somewhat hesitant.

I better go first.

"Gimme the brisket sandwich," I say, turning my attention back to the blonde as she pulls out a pen and pad of paper.

"Just the sandwich, or the basket?" she asks. "We have fries, onion rings-"

"Hell yeah, onion rings. And whatever cola you got."

"Cool, got it," she says, finishing her scribbles before her eyes dart to my passenger. "We have a fresh salad, it's really good - carrots, tomatoes, cheese-"

"Ew. No," Midnight interrupts, wrinkling her nose in disgust. "I'll take the sandwich he's getting."

The waitress looks taken aback by the idea, glancing back over to you for confirmation.

"The... brisket sandwich?" she finally sputters.

"You sure you don't want the whole meal, Midnight?" I ask her.

I can practically see the poor girl's mind on the verge of exploding as she tries to make sense of this whole situation.

"I don't really feel all that hungry - and if I get thirsty, I'll just have some of your drink."

"Ahahaha, no. I'm not playing that game," I interrupt her, turning back to the waitress. "She's gonna have the basket with fries and a drink."

"I didn't say that, asshole," Midnight remarks. "What if I find out I don't even like fries?"

"Don't worry, I'll eat em then. Maybe I'll even let you have some of my brisket to even out. Fair?"

"Alright. But why don't I just get two sandwiches then?"

"Because I want fries and onion rings."

Midnight narrows her eyes at me, her brow creasing in disapproval.

"Pig."

"Pony."

"...that's not even an insult," she says, briefly dumbstruck by the comment.

"I thought we were just naming off animals now."

"Just - fine," Midnight finally relents. "I'll take fries and... what else do you have to drink?"

"We have lemonade if you don't want soda. Or iced tea, sweet tea - we do have water, but it would still be the same price as any other drink."

"That's fine, he's the one paying, anyways," Midnight answers, shooting me a smarmy grin.

The waitress hurriedly scrawls it all down. "Alright, I'll get this in and it should be out to ya shortly," she announces before shooting off toward the main building at an even quicker pace.

"Wow, you really got her all confused," I comment to Midnight

"I can't believe they let you out in public," Midnight's brooding voice complains.

"No one can stop me is the problem," I tell her, flashing an innocent smile.

"Do you think she will actually come back with our orders?" Just from the way she says that and the look on her face, Midnight is genuine with that question.

"I'm sure she's seen things more dysfunctional than that whole menagerie," I reassure her. "Plus, look on the bright side - she thought you were a bot. Didn't think of it at the time, but I guess you weren't lying about them being able to eat for energy."

"Some of the later high-end models do from what I have seen and read, but it's not as efficient as charging. More of a realism thing for people wanting that, I guess."

"You read up on bots?"

"Well, It's the cover I have to go with, may as well try to fit it best I can. Now that I think of it, could have said bots don't eat, and we wouldn't be on this trip," she comments, sounding disappointed with the wasted excuse.

I would have found something else. But hey, she believes you."

"I don't think she paid very much attention to discern the difference," Midnight remarks, sounding just a touch unhappy.

I shrug, uncertain of what Midnight wants or even expects from others. "Does it matter? You want to blend in, right?"

"Well yeah, obviously."

"So why does it bother you she didn't pay much attention?"

"I don't know!" Midnight snaps, suddenly frustrated by the questions. Or perhaps her own mixed emotions.

It doesn't make much sense to me, that is certain.

"You do realize I'm not trying to get under your skin with this discussion, right?"

Midnight just stares, incredulous at my claim.

"I'm legitimately just talking about the last thirty seconds or so, not while the waitress was here," I make sure to clarify.

"I know. I still find it hard to believe you pulled that bullshit."

"Do you at least see my point how wanting attention while trying to avoid much attention conflict with each other?"

She nods reluctantly instead of offering any sort of verbal response.

With things settled down, I scan the rest of the drive-in patrons. There are only two other cars, both parked some ways away, neither of which I recognize, not that I'm surprised by that note.

To be fair, it is a weeknight - but I would still have expected there to be more people here. It's not even eight o'clock yet.

But funny enough, I think I do see another four-legged pony friend in another car. Either that or it's one weird-looking dog.

With pink fur.

I briefly entertain the thought of mentioning it to Midnight but decide it better to keep her focus on us.

"How much longer do you think you will keep the junkyard open to self-service?"

My attention returns to my friend in the passenger seat.

"Sort of depends on how things look in terms of money. That and we really ought to advertise or mention to the public ahead of time that we will be going behind closed doors at a certain time. I know I wouldn't be happy to show up somewhere and abruptly find out they don't do walk-ins."

"Fair point - but what exactly are you looking for in terms of money? Any set goal?"

"Profit for once, maybe?" I propose.

Again, Midnight stares at me, dumbfounded. "When was the last time you bothered to check your computer in terms of revenue?"

"I... got into the habit of avoiding it, to be frank."

Midnight can only put a hoof to her head in response to my confession.

"At least I didn't lie about it," I add.

"Yes - but if you had bothered to look, you would see we had already begun making a profit for this month - early last week."

"Are you screwing with me right now?" I press her, cautious about the claim.

"I assure you I am not."

Holy shit. There is still just over a week left to go in this month, and we're already up for the month.

What is this sorcery?!

I can't contain myself- the wonderful news forces a big grin out of me as I fist pump. Even Midnight can't help but smile.

But the poor, poor mare...

I end up leaning over and wrapping my arms around her, hugging her tight.

"Ow, what the hell are you doing, dummy?!" she squawks.

"Thank you, holy shit, this is amazing! Why didn't you tell me before?!" I exclaim.

Despite the outburst, Midnight has not really put forth an effort to get away from me.

"I didn't think you were that ignorant, why are you doing this?"

"Just shut up and deal with it," I command, now curious as to how far I can push my luck.

Apparently farther than I expected, as one of Midnight's wings brushes past me.

"Hurry the hell up, people are probably staring at us," she mumbles uncomfortably after a few seconds.

"Alright, alright."

I finally sit back upright and release Midnight, who is quick to inspect her fanned-out wing. It causes me to pause my celebrations out of concern.

"Everything okay?" I ask.

"You are very weird, I want you to know that," she mutters.

"I was asking about your wing."

Midnight finally looks up at me, hardly fazed by my question.

"It's a matter of getting used to the sensation of these, I guess," she replies. "I've had them for quite a while now, but I haven't ever really used them to... feel."

"You mean hug?"

"That's your word, not mine," she sharply responds, averting her eyes.

Riiight.

"Anyway - that's absolutely awesome we're already ahead."

"That is something we can both agree on."

The waitress from earlier skates by with a pair of drinks in a holder.

"Here's these for right now, food will be out shortly - gonna come out to sixteen-fifty tonight."

"Alrighty," I agree, setting down the drinks she handed to me and fetching my wallet. With a handoff of a twenty-dollar bill, the gal zips off once again.

"See? All is good, we didn't traumatize her," I jest, pulling out the cup holders and setting each beverage down inside before inserting the straws.

Midnight inspects the cup nearest to her seat. More specifically, the straw that sticks out of it.

Must be she's never seen nor used a straw before.

Rather than make it awkward for her, I pretend to not notice, grabbing my own drink and demonstrating how it works - albeit in a somewhat exaggerated fashion.

"I'm not surprised you want to show off how good you are at sucking on things," Midnight abruptly jabs me.

"Did you want me to laugh at you for not knowing what a straw is?" I quickly rebut.

"I don't recall ever saying that..." She puts a hoof to her chin as if trying to reminisce about such an event.

After holding that pose for a moment, she finally shrugs as a long piece of metal wire she's begun to keep intertwined in her necklace chain floats through the air toward her cup. It wraps itself around the styrofoam vessel elegantly, before the whole cup floats toward Midnight.

She takes a sip while eyeing me, unable to keep herself from giving a mischievous grin.

"I see how it is. Guess I'm eating your fries."

"No, you won't."

Once again, the waitress rolls up, this time with two open-top boxes packed with food.

"Here you are, this is the one with fries," she says while handing it off to me.

Grabbing it with one hand, I use the other to take several fresh fries out and jam them in my mouth.

"You dickhead!" Midnight shouts as I set the down beside her on the armrest.

The waitress looks at us wide-eyed in surprise as she hands off the second part of the order.

"Sorry about that, she's got a potty mouth," I quip. "Keep the change for your troubles."

That last bit quickly snaps the blonde from her stupor and puts a big smile on her face. "Thanks! Enjoy your meal, you two!"

With that, she's finally released from the horror I have unleashed upon the world.

"Give me an onion ring, I want to try one," Midnight demands as I try to get situated and comfortable again.

"No way!"

"You just ate some of my fries!"

"That I ordered for you, remember?" I reply, finishing off with a shit-eating grin.

Her nostrils flare as she snorts in disapproval.
I get our food arranged before grabbing an onion ring and lightly tossing it into her box.

"You didn't really think I was going to be that much of a prick, did you?"

"Half the time, I don't know what to expect from you."

"Someday you'll learn," I chide. "Now, let's eat."

"All things considered, was tonight as awful as you thought it would be?"

I let the truck coast to a stop and throw the shifter into park while awaiting Midnight's final verdict. The food was top-notch, but the stress of the day had caught up with both of us by the time we finished up.

I didn't have any other plans than food, but it still felt like a missed opportunity to show her more things.

"To be fair, I never said I thought it would be awful," Midnight clarifies.

"Oh, I know, I'm just giving you shit."

"It was nice to see more of the world, nonetheless."

"That's what I was hoping to hear."

Midnight exhales, looking straight ahead out the windshield at the dusky skyline over the rows of cars.

"I guess I've gotten a little bit spooked since Teddy was able to pick me out so easily. It isn't that I don't want to do things, I've just - there's a lot more insecurity there."

"I sort of figured that. You were all gung-ho about opening up shop yourself that day - that hasn't happened since."

"No. Funny how this thing was supposed to make me feel better," she replies, tapping the crescent moon charm.

"You'll get there again. I just might have to help you stray from your comfort zone once in a while. Don't think I'm doing it just to be an ass."

Midnight nods, though I can tell she's still hesitant to be in full agreement to explore the world.

"Shit like tonight is all I'm after, Middie," I continue in an effort to clear her reservations a bit more. "I'm not out to explore the uncharted areas of the world or sightsee - I just want us to be able to get out once in a while and try things other than my rudimentary cooking and the same bland TV shows every night."

"Your food isn't that bad," she scoffs.

"Would you rather what I would have served up tonight, or what we ended up having?"

"That brisket was really damn good, I'll give you that," she yields. "But you also are a pain in the ass to be around."

"Don't lie, it was fun," I retort.

"Maybe a little bit."

That's good enough for me.

With that statement, Midnight opens her door and hops out, leaving me to mirror her exit on my side of the truck.

I join her side in quick succession on the walk to the shop, in part thanks to Midnight taking her sweet time. Despite that, I have enough time to note the way her violet-streaked tail swishes back and forth with every step she takes, the sauntering, swaying movement drawing my eyes toward it.

...I never noticed or looked before, but Midnight actually has a pretty damn nice caboose... And the way those markings just seem to frame it... And there's the full complement...

Holy shit, what the fuck am I doing?

I gotta get my head out of the gutter. Why does Midnight do this to me?

"Do you think we could ever go to a car show?"

"Hm?"

"A car show. A gathering of older cars and stuff like that," Midnight explains. "I've seen pictures of cars mentioning being taken at a show like that online - are those still a thing?"

Thank god, something to shift my degenerate mind.

"Yeah, I'm sure they are," I reply, somewhat surprised by the inquiry and interest. "You know those end up being pretty busy gatherings though, right?"

"It didn't look like there were tons of people in the pictures, though..." she trails off, perplexed by my answer.

"You probably really weren't looking for people when it's the car you were focusing on."

"It sounds pretty stupid when you say it like that."

"Not at all. I can't say I'm the most observant person. You've had to point out the dumb shit I've done in the past - and some of that was truly dumb."

"Regardless, I'm not cut out for that kind of thing, I'm pretty sure you will agree with me."

"I don't see why we can't make that a goal, though. Work our way up to that point by doing little things like tonight. I know you can handle it with enough experience."

"Fair enough. I didn't realize those were really... gatherings."

"Yeah, every car has an owner that either drives it or trailers it there - it's not like a museum or something like that. I'm guessing that's what you were thinking - like a permanent display?"

She nods.

Maybe we need to set goals to make progress. My mind flicks back to something else from tonight.

"How about we set another goal tonight?"

"That being..."

"No more self-deprecation. No more talk about how you're a freak."

"Why does that piss you off so much all of a sudden?" she asks, shooting me a quizzical look.

"Because what you are isn't your fault - why belittle yourself over things that were completely out of your control?"

"It isn't like that at all," she dismissively shoots back, pointing a hoof to the locked man door of the shop.

I fiddle with my keys and unlock it, opening the door for her and following behind.

"Then what is it? Remember the first week or so with me - you boasted about how amazing you were. Above any other pony, smarter than me, need I go on?"

"No."

"What happened to where I'm now trying to prevent you from basically insulting yourself? I don't get it, so try and help me understand."

"It was something to keep me going," she replies dryly. "I don't know... I needed to feel like I had a purpose, that I was something special. Above everyone, everything else. And then - well, that sort of just goes away when someone takes a look at you and just separates you into individual things that compose your makeup."

I can't help but feel I had a hand in that when trying to reason her mannerisms.

Meanwhile, Midnight grimaces as she finishes, clearly ashamed of her own admittance.

"God damn, that whole thing with Teddy and my comments really rattled you that much?"

That came out far harsher than I meant it to be, but her explanation is beyond anything I could have expected. She's tough - but...

"That makes me feel a lot better, thanks," she hisses, trotting up the steps to my living space.

"Midnight, do you really hate yourself that much?"

Midnight pauses before opening the door and slipping through, allowing me to scale the stairs and join her at the landing.

Her jaw is clenched as she just stares at the door.

"I hate what I stand for, John. I hate what I symbolize - greed."

She stomps a hoof down.

"At the end of it all, that's the only reason why I have the sentience and intelligence that I do. It's all about money, isn't it? It could have been any other pony that they decided to toy with - I just happened to be the one chosen for this marvelous experiment."

"Why even focus on that, if that were the case?"

Midnight turns her head to look at me. "I... what do you mean?"

"If your origins aren't that special, why focus on them? Acknowledge where you came from, but other than that - you just need to let it go. All it's doing is dragging you down. The parts and pieces don't matter to me - you're one hundred percent genuine pony, as far as I'm concerned. If that helps, I mean."

I kneel down beside her, honing in on her left wing.

"Wh-what are you doing?" she stammers, recoiling a bit.

Rather than answer her, I inspect the joints and the transition where her wing joins her body.

There is legitimately nothing visual that would tell me that these limbs never belonged to her from birth. The feathers aren't the same color as her coat, but they complement it well with a similar dark hue and fit with the lighter shade of violet in her mane. Maybe there would be something below the fur, like scar tissue - but really, that's trivial in nature.

"Middie, have you ever really looked at your wings?" I ask. "Because if you had never told me they were cybernetic add-ons, I would be none the wiser."

I can tell just from her turning away, she's embarrassed - yet she nonetheless fans her wing out.

Damn, these things are massive.

Sure, she'd spread them out before in a show of defiance or intimidation, but I guess I never appreciated their sheer size.

To be fair, she's a big pony - she probably needs these to this scale to get her off the ground, if she can indeed fly. Some of the bots do - so maybe it's not too far-fetched. Just one wing is probably close to being as wide as she is tall - maybe closer to my height.

But right now it's not at full span - there's simply not enough space on the landing with the close proximity of the wall to our left.

It really is amazing she can control these - and the fact they are synthetic in nature. I take another moment to feel the incredibly soft down - a sensation that makes Midnight twitch just a bit.

"I stand by what I said. Only you know the true nature of these."

"And you want me to ignore that."

"I want you to take pride in yourself again. You shouldn't be ashamed. Above all else, make peace with yourself and accept it."

Her wing folds away neatly once again as she circles around and faces me.

"No more talk of being a freak, alright? I like you for you right now. Think of yourself as one in a million - how far you've come, what you're capable of accomplishing."

"You're just making things weird now," she says with a half-laugh, shaking her head.

But she can't hide those eyes, and they speak volumes as they shift back and forth across the floor between the two of us.

Midnight doesn't know what to say. She's probably never heard anything quite like that.

I can't put my finger on it - nothing particularly specific, at least - but Midnight is... I dunno. I always thought those people that like their pony more than a friend were fucking freaks.

... maybe I can reconcile that judgment as premature now.

"Alright, dumb-dumb, we got work tomorrow. Hopefully, it won't be as much of a clusterfuck as today was, yeah?"

With that, she turns and opens the door, walking into the kitchen and leaving me still kneeling on the landing.

Whether she had any inkling or not of what I was battling there is hard to say. Perhaps it was fortuitous timing on her part.

Hopefully, that's what it was. Though she might have just dick-stomped me had she known.

Regardless, I need to reel myself in. Tonight was a good night, and I'm damn lucky to not have just spoiled it by... whatever the hell I thought I was trying to do there. I lost my brain.

With a sigh, I rise back to my feet, focusing on the little victories tonight. Hopefully, I have at least helped her begin to overcome the skittishness she's developed.

I almost find it hard to believe she's gotten so rattled. But I suppose focusing on the past like she has - particularly the negatives - it's only a matter of time before one starts looking for confirmation that the past is catching up even as he or she tries to leave it behind.

She needs to keep stepping forward and looking forward. With a new goal, that may help her.

I'm better off focusing on helping her with that goal. Before I do something stupid.