Anon's Whimsical Adventures

Anon now stood in front of a white horse. Who was the leader of this country... kingdom of horses. “...” The room was silent as he just sat looking at the white horse.

The white horse's name was Princess Celestia, who was the ‘protector’ of Equestria and all her subjects or ‘little ponies’. Why she calls them little ponies he could care less for.

He just sat there watching her eat cake and drinking some tea. She’d offer him some earlier but, “I don’t want cake... and I prefer coffee.” And with that comment earlier he now sat in a room with the horse... and the purple one was here too.

“So... you came to an abandoned house, found a weird book-”

Before Celestia could finish her sentence Anon corrected her, “Weird ass book.”

That comment just seemed to make her frown for a bit and give that look; Like a mother who told you not to touch cookie jar, but you happened to just find it conveniently opened.

She continues her description of the events Anon explained to her, “And ended up here... And so, you believe you are currently dreaming?

“Yep,” Anon shrugged in the chair clearly built for not his kind.

Celestia pondered for a second on how to gauge this situation, “Well, you seem not be a threat, but your sense of denial is quite... worrying.”

Anon rolled his eyes at her. “Hey, wasn’t they’re a dark blue horse awhile ago?”

“You mean my sister, Luna?” Celestia asked, answered by a quick and dull approval nod. “She said she was getting something to convince you weren’t dreaming.”

“Oh, what is she fetching? A pair of magical slippers... dream dust... or some magical item to-”

SPLASH

Luna came back with a now empty bucket of water in her telekinesis. “Are you awake?” She asked staring at the now drench human.

“...” He blinked once then twice before muttering, “Very awake.”

A smirk came on the horses face slowly as she said, “Good. We are happy that thou are aware.”

He was 90 percent sure that she enjoyed doing that, 10 percent sure that she was a fucking bitch.

Finally, the purple horse seemed to mark off something on a clipboard that she happened to have because why not.

“Seems that mass quantities of water do not have an effect on him,” She mutters scribbling on the clipboard, like some philosopher.

Now, drenched and pissed at his newfound situation, Anon sighs. “You wouldn’t happen to have another creepy ass book in some abandoned house, by chance?”

Celestia clears her throat and hand him a towel, “No... This is as confusing to us as to you.”

Anon groans as he slowly slumps over the chair, “Wow, I've just barely managed to escape homelessness in my world to than experience it here.”

“Well actually, your arrival to Equestria has brought up some security risk, so, as of now until either you can be trusted or a way of you being sent back home can be found; You’re on house arrest,” Celestia answered to him who already wasn’t enjoying it here.

“Oh, great idea... One problem, I don’t have a house, Sherlock.” Retorted the homeless bum (Anon).

“That’s why you’ll be staying with Princess Twilight,” answered Luna.

“What?!” Anon and Twilight both yammered at this sudden revelation.

“His arrival was strange, his intent is unknown, and it would be wise to learn about his kind,” Luna immediately advocated.

“But wouldn’t be more practical if... he was interrogated,” Twilight questioned.

“Why the hell would I want to be around that thing?” Anon pointed at Twilight with hint of anger.

“Three problems are solved: the entity is secured, investigated, and housed.” Luna put her hooves together smiling.

Twilight turned to Celestia for some confirmation, but a smile saying, ‘I believe in you’ told her there was no way around this. With a sigh all but Anon seemed to accept this new reality and solution.

Anon sat in chair at some crystal castle next to a purple dragon, who seemed to be questioning what was going on.

“Uhh... Twilight...?”

“He’s temporally staying as I gather information on him and his world,” Twilight answered.

Spike then turned to the human who seemed to be annoyed to be here.

“D-do you like gems?”

“Don’t talk to me.” Anon answered.

Spike snapped his mouth shut and decided to keep a distance from him for now.

“Okay...”

Anon just rolled his eyes as he decided to ask, “So, Dyke Bright...”

“Twilight,” She corrected.

“Don’t care. Where’s your possie of rejected Teletubbies?” He asked.

Twilight tilted at her head, “You mean my friends?” A head nod of approval from him for a response. “They all are doing their own things to do.”

“So... you do nothing?” Anon asked.

Twilight turned to hi quickly refusing his claim, “No, I solve Friendship Problems.”

“Friendship... problems? Wow... That sounds super lame.”

“It’s not lame!” Twilight retorted.

Anon just crosses his legs before asking, “So, what do these... friendship problems entail?”

Twilight pauses for a moment, “Well... often I solve some dispute or some problem pertaining to friendship problem: Like some ponies unable to agree on something or a resolution needed to solve an issue.”

“Wow... You’re basically a guidance counselor... So, back to my claim, you’re lame.” Anon stated as a fact.

Twilight just pouted at the human that seemed to undermine her role in Equestria. She was supposed to ask them questions and ‘find out about them’. “Well, what did you do in your world that was important?”

Anon stayed silent before answering, “Nothing... I graduated college couple of months ago.”

“Wait, so you didn’t do anything before you got here... what about family?” Twilight asked.

“What about Family. I have a dad, who thinks what he says goes, a mom, who critiques my every being, and a sister, who thinks that she’s god’s gift to earth.” Anon ranted.

“I’m the only person that seems to have more than half a brain.”

Twilight stared at him before writing a clipboard that she always seemed to conveniently have. “Any friends?”

“None,” Anon answered.

“You have no friends?” Twilight questioned.

“Yes, I’m fine without any? Anon replied.

“You can’t just be fine without friends, you at least need somepony to talk to you,” Twilight retorted.

“I don’t,” Anon stated.

Twilight was almost about to argue back with before realizing it; this was the friendship problem that she could solve. She’d be blasting three timber wolves with one bolt: learning about him and his world, solving a friendship problem, and sending a letter to Princess Celestia.

A smile slowly crept on Twilight’s face as she had to best idea. “Sounds like to me, you have a friendship problem and solving those is my strong suit.”

“What?” Anon questioned the insane purple horse.

“Just let me solve the friendship problem and get information on you,” Twilight said.