Good Stallions Don't...

In Canterlot, Celestia
a stately fuck-dome did decree...

The gentle sunshine woke me up as I lay in a comfortable bed as large as a swimming pool. Morning was dawning in the most luxurious place I’d ever seen, on Earth or Equestria. Looking through the glass walls of the fuck-dome at the palace grounds far below, I could actually see the cramped and stinking barracks I’d lived in for the past year. Yet my new life seemed an eternity away from the one I’d left behind.

This was a carefree royal playground set in the midst of a lovely field of flowers. Chirping birds flew about near a glass roof that seemed to touch the sky. Picnic blankets, couches and beds were scattered around the field. Each was equipped for any kind of sex, from loving and romantic to raunchy or kinky.

After testing a few scenarios with the Princesses, we’d ended up in an incredibly comfortable bed that was large enough to host massive orgies (and probably had.) A chilled waterfall of the finest champagne bubbled in a nearby fountain, with a stack of jewelled chalices sitting next to it. In the distance I saw the outdoor kitchen, staffed with 5-star chefs who’d cooked a gourmet dinner for my lovers and me, then provided strawberries and warm caramel for late night food play.

Now the chefs were preparing breakfast, cooking stacks of pony sized pancakes and heating up vats of chocolate syrup. But I didn’t have to look far to see the sweetest dish of all. Lying next to me in the huge bed was Raven Inkwell, the most beautiful commoner in Canterlot.

I looked at Raven longingly as the memories of last night came back. Celestia and Luna were dynamite in bed, but they’d grown bored with me after only a few hours. Luna had excused herself to raise the moon, and Celestia had trotted off to ravage an all-you-can-eat donut special. They’d dumped the “king” of Equestria like a used condom, and left him to finish his reign in the company of their royal scribe.

I’d quickly found feelings for the seemingly quiet unicorn. She wasn’t smelly and rough like my Royal Guard comrades. She was intelligent in conversation and sexually adventurous. Best of all, she wasn’t a stuck-up princess who publicly humiliated any male who spoke out of turn.

What was I feeling? Was it love, or only infatuation? Did I really dare to hope that Raven might want a relationship, and even see me as an equal?

After making hot fuck all night, Raven’s mane was a tangled mess, her glasses were crooked upon her muzzle, but she was still one gorgeous nerd. She propped up her head upon a huge and puffy pillow, and she was reading a dirty magazine Luna had hidden beneath the mattress in the days before her exile. The cover said “24 Engravings! Hot Peasant Stallions Doeth The Nasty!”

I reached out and stroked Raven’s fur, recalling the gentle touch of her magic and the soft feel of her marehood. Most of all, the cries of her sweet pleasure when I dove beneath these silken sheets and worked some magic of my own. The fuck-dome was served by a concierge whose only job was to recommend different kinds of lube and sex positions, but even she had turned away with a blush when I’d shown how eager I was to slurp on horse pussy.

Raven quivered excitedly at my touch and she set down her magazine with a smile. “Mmm, good morning, Paul.”

“I’ll remember last night forever,” I promised. “Celestia and Luna were fun, but... Raven, you’re something else. I hope it was good for you, too?”

Raven kissed me gently. “You were wonderful. I’ve never been with a stallion who went down on me without being asked.”

“Those stallions don’t know what they’re missing,” I told her. Raven’s clean, fragrant pussy was a banquet after spending a year servicing thousands of sweaty Guardsmares. “And thanks for taking over in the throne room yesterday.”

“Oh, sweetie, it was nothing. The Princesses shouldn’t have embarrassed you like that. Everypony knows stallions don’t have what it takes to govern. You made me feel really good in bed, and that‘s what’s important, right?”

There went love. I bit my tongue for what felt like the millionth time. Raven was the most generous lover I’d ever had, but she was just as condescending as every other mare in Equestria.

Raven’s smile never waivered even as she broke my heart. “Celestia sent a scroll for you.” She hovered it over to me. “Why don’t you take a look, and then go and bring me some coffee? Sugar, no cream.” She wiggled her plot beneath the sheets and giggled. “I got plenty of ‘cream’ last night!”

I forced a laugh. I’d found the easiest way to pleasure mares (even easier than eating them out) was to make them feel like I thought their jokes were funny. I opened the scroll, brushed away a pile of donut crumbs and read the message from Celestia.

Paul, my little human,

A few years ago I didn’t know what to do with my weird student Twilight, so I sent her to a hick town in the middle of nowhere and told her to make some friends. That worked out rather well, so I’m doing the same to you. Go to Ponyville and make some friends. This is a royal order, and I know you know how to follow those.

Please be on the 8:45 train. Two of my most trusted subjects are also making the trip, and I’ve asked them to look out for you. I believe that you, like Twilight, will find in Ponyville the things that have been missing from your life.

With the pleasures we shared still thrilling through my body,
HRH Princess Celestia
xoxo

Wow, Celestia actually cares, I thought. At least, she cared enough to hoof me over to somepony else and make me their problem. “What time is it?” I asked Raven.

“8:43.” Raven didn’t look away from her porno mag.

“Oh, shit!” I jumped up, quickly dressed in my Guard uniform, crawled across the vast bed and ran for the door of the fuck-dome. Outside in the hallway, two pegasi were hanging up a large painting of me sitting on Celestia’s throne with my face contorted in pleasure, while the princesses licked and sucked at my spurting cock.

“Wait, wait, Paul!” Raven suddenly appeared in front of me in a magical explosion. “You’ll never make it in time, you silly stallion. Let me just teleport you onto the train.”

“That makes sense,” I admitted. I pointed at the painting. “Can you have them take that down? It’s really embarrassing.”

“Aww, but you’re so cute in that!” Raven kissed me passionately and lit up her horn. “Don’t be upset, I’ll see you again. You can get me breakfast next time!”

“That’s not why I’m—gwaaah!” Another magical explosion happened inside my head and I was suddenly standing in a dark, cramped train car. A bored pegasus mare wearing a conductor’s cap stared at me.

“Ticket, please,” she droned.

“What?”

“Duh, a ticket, for the train! You can buy one now if you don’t have one.”

“Nopony told me I needed money! I thought this was a communist utopia!” I went through my pockets, looking for my wallet, but I hadn’t had a wallet, or any pockets, for over a year. How I missed my jeans from Earth...

“Ma’am, if you can’t afford a ticket, you’ll have to—oh my gosh, are you a stallion?”

“I’m not a mare...”

The conductor shifted my loincloth to the side with a hoof and eagerly inspected my half chub. “Why didn’t you say something? I’m always happy to help out an unaccompanied stallion who’s down on his luck!”

“Oh, geeze, thank you, you don’t know what I’ve been through recently—”

“Yeah, you can come up and ride with me in the locomotive.” The pegasus half closed her eyes, and her voice lowered as she tickled a feathery wing up my thigh. “Treat your momma nice, and she’ll take you anywhere you want to go...”

“Hooves off that gorgeous ape, you sleazebag!” a commanding voice called out.

The conductor gasped. I turned and saw the two Element bearers I’d met yesterday, the ones who’d watched me try to solve their friendship problem while getting blown by the Princesses. The orange earth pony had shed the gingham dress she’d worn to her royal appointment, but the white unicorn was dressed flashier than ever, with a rhinestone covered trenchcoat topped by a bright purple fedora. Both mares scowled at the conductor, and bracelets jingled on the unicorn’s leg as she angrily shook her hoof.

“B-b-but he can’t pay!” whined the conductor.

“His indigence is no excuse for your insolence. I’ll pay for his ticket myself.” The unicorn opened her jewelled purse and hovered a small pile of bits into the conductor’s saddlebag. “One stallion’s fare to Ponyville, if you please.”

“I guess everything is in order, then...” the pegasus muttered sadly as she hoofed me a ticket.

“Come with me, Paul,” the unicorn insisted. “Don’t mind this low class beta. She can’t get a stallion in any honourable way, so she tries to take advantage of the unfortunate.”

“You watch yerself,” the earth pony lectured the conductor as the unicorn strutted past her down the narrow train hallway. “Stallions got feelins, ya know. Jes’ cause they ain’t too bright don’t mean ya can treat ’em like dirt.”

“Y-yes, ma’am, of course. I’m so sorry. Enjoy your trip.”

I gratefully followed my two saviours through a large glass door marked with the symbols of the Elements of Harmony and into a spacious train car. Inside, a record player played a happy tune. The walls were covered with framed newspaper articles showing the many times the Elements had saved Equestria from villainous mares like Starlight Glimmer and Queen Umbra. A fancy chandelier hung from the ceiling and jingled as the train began to move.

“A private carriage is the only way to travel, don’t you think?” the unicorn asked me as I sat on one of the padded benches. She and the earth pony took seats to either side of me, even though there were many other benches. I nervously looked out the large window, watching Canterlot slowly move out of sight.

“I-it’s really nice, ma’am,” I agreed. It was hard to believe that this was a train. If I hadn’t just come out of the royal fuck-dome, it would have been one of the fanciest rooms I’d ever been in. I noticed six large horse dildoes mounted on one of the benches, but even that seemed classy somehow.

“Paul, darling, let us introduce ourselves, not as ‘ma’ams’ but as your close personal friends. I am your white knight, the ravishing Rarity, and this is my best friend, the adequate Applejack.”

“Howdy, ‘yer majesty,’” Applejack chuckled. Both mares laughed loudly as I blushed. “Sorry fer teasin’,” the earth pony told me, “but you shoulda seen the look on yer face when them princesses was goin’ down on ya. You was like a varmint stuck in a hoozywhatzit!”

“Huh?”

“Don’t ask her what that means,” Rarity advised me. “It’ll just encourage her.”

My stomach rumbled and I regretted missing out on the huge stacks of fluffy pancakes in the fuck-dome. “Is there any food here?” I asked.

“Oh, I’d love to give you something to eat.” The unicorn reached up with her magical aura and tipped her fedora. “M’stallion.”

“Quit it, Rarity. Here, Paul, ya can share mah apple fritter.” Applejack opened a lunchbox, took out a pastry much bigger than the box and broke off a piece the size of my head. “Granny Smith always makes ’em too big, anyhoo.”

Rarity casually slid a hoof around my shoulder. “You’ve never left Canterlot, have you, you poor dear? I’m afraid Equestria is full of uncouth mares like that conductor. Velvet-tongued and velvet-pussied ruffians who’d love nothing more than to exploit your innocence! You’re lucky Celestia asked us to look out for you.”

I nibbled at the delicious fritter. “I hope Raven was able to solve your weather problem,” I said, meekly and politely.

Applejack swallowed her half of the fritter in one gulp and gave out a belch that shook the train windows. “‘Tweren’t no problem at all,” she assured me. “Sweet Apple Acres — that’s mah farm — is a good ways outside o’ town. Raven jes’ designated downtown Ponyville a separate weather subzone. Now mah apples can git all the rain they need.”

“And the main boulevard will just get enough to keep the flowers blooming!”

“That makes sense, I guess...”

“Now, don’t feel bad, Paul.” Rarity leaned in closer and gently blew upon my neck. “Raven’s extremely clever. Dear me, we couldn’t figure it out, and we’re mares!”

Applejack wiped fritter grease off her muzzle and cleaned her hooves on my twitching loincloth. “Jes’ goes to show, there’s always a way ’round any friendship problem! Eeyup, me an’ Rarity, best buds!”

“Applejack and I grew up together,” Rarity told me, stroking my nipples through my tiny tube top. “We may seem like opposites, but we’ve always been close. We’ve always... shared things.”

“Like stallions,” Applejack added. “An’ their dicks. An’... well, I lent her a shovel once. Primarily stallions, I reckon.”

“Surprised, are you?” Rarity ran her pony nose along the edge of my ear.

“N-not really...” I gasped out.

“Stallions always are,” Rarity insisted. “Because of my profession and my fabulous fashion sense, you assume I prefer the company of mares. Utter nonsense, darling. I am a gentlemare who worships at the altar of male pleasure.”

“An’ I’ve always been attracted to fellers with a lil’ bit o’ muscle,” Applejack confessed, snuggling in close to me.

“Erm, what if I don’t want to...?” Smiling at this kind of treatment had always been part of my duties, but these civilians were being as aggressive as any Guardsmare.

“But ya do want to, don’t ya?” whispered Applejack. The mares sandwiched me with their fuzzy bodies. I could feel their hot little heartbeats speeding up as they inhaled my scent. “Ya wouldn’t disappoint yer ol’ friend Applejack?”

“I... I...” Were they even civilians, or was I bound to treat the Elements of Harmony as my superiors? A Royal Guardstallion was at the very bottom of society’s ladder, but now I had rights... theoretically... maybe...

“Paul, we’re national heroes,” Rarity breathed on my shoulder. “Little fillies look up to us. Think of our reputations. We’d never force you to do anything.”

“But we’s mighty curious why Raven was yellin’ so loud last night,” Applejack admitted.

“Why, she kept up half of Canterlot!”

“So we talked to some o’ our friends in the Royal Guard.”

“Stealthy Stiletto spoke very highly of your talents.”

“Satisfyin’ an Iron Mare winner, all by yer lonesome? Colour me impressed.”

“And yet...” Rarity gently kissed my throat. “No collar? No special somepony? There’s only one word to describe a stallion of such accomplishments who remains unattached.”

Applejack dragged her broad tongue up my quivering abs. “It ain’t the bad word yer thinkin’ of,” she assured me.

Rarity leaned into my ear and whispered: “The word is stud.”

“L-ladies, please...”

“Now, I count two mares in this here railway car who need a good, hard studdin’ — an’ one stallion who woudldn’ta made it in the Guard if he was the sort o’ fella who stopped at just two mares. But if yer glory days are behind ya, I understand.” Applejack patted me condescendingly on the shoulder. “We’ll just have ta tell Ponyville ta go easy on ya. Set ya up on the porch with Granny so ya can play cards and reminisce.”

“I-I didn’t say that...” I protested. “We can have a little fun, can’t we?”

“Ain‘t nothin’ little bout me an’ Rarity.”

“I should say not, darling!”

“We’re grown mares with hearty appetites an’ we want all ya got. Now what’s it gonna be, Mister Equality? Don’t our feelins count for nothin’? Cause I wanna feel you up inside me, real bad.”

My erection pressed desperately against the tiny piece of fabric covering my groin. My little guy hadn’t been able to understand that all the attention I’d gotten since arriving in Equestria was disgusting and objectifying. He just wanted to play with the sexy ponies. I moved my hands to adjust my loincloth, but even as I did, Paul Junior freed himself from his cloth prison and booped Rarity right on the snoot.

“Ooh!” the unicorn gasped, hearts of love flashing in her eyes.

“I ain‘t hearin’ no more don’t wanna,” Applejack observed. “An’ I‘m seein’ a heapin’ helpin’ o’ yes, please.”

“Yes, please,” Rarity echoed. “May I suck your cock, Paul?”

“Uh, Rares...”

“I do apologize, Applejack. I got carried away.” Rarity looked me in the eyes. “May we suck your cock, Paul?”

“I-I guess... since you asked so nicely...” Both mares smiled broadly, knowing that they’d finally broken me down with their relentless seduction.

Rarity leaned in and sniffed me deeply. “Ah, the scent of royalty still lingers,” she declared. “If I were Celestia, I’d still be riding him!”

“If you was Celestia, we’d all be in deep shit,” Applejack muttered. She licked up my shaft. “He tastes more like Raven, if ya ask me.”

“Erm, n-not that we’d know!” Rarity grinned desperately. Applejack looked at her like she was a moron, and silently pulled the tip of my dick into her mouth. “Well, I’d better get fellating, hadn’t I? No homo, darling!” Rarity chirped, and dove in to pamper my shaft along with her friend.

Celestia and Luna had been careful not to spark a scandal by letting their lips or tongues touch incestuously as they combined to pleasure me. Royal Guardsmares who were happy to run a train on my face reeled with disgust if two tails or two fetlocks should brush against each other during the gang bang. Applejack and Rarity didn’t have a single fuck to give about any of that. Seconds into my “no homo” blowjob, the two gorgeous mares were basically making out around my cock. Their lips mashed together, their tongues shot around my meat and into each others’ mouths, and they passionately embraced each other with me in the middle. My cock, and my existence in the train car, was just an excuse for the city girl to kiss the farm girl.

After a minute of passionate makeouts, Applejack gasped for breath and lifted her head off of my rod, letting huge strands of spit dangle from her muzzle and her tongue, dribbling and swaying where the mess connected to my crotch and to the sluttily smudged lipstick on Rarity’s mouth. As soon as Applejack let go of my shaft, Rarity deepthroated me and started bobbing her head frantically, seemingly starving for dick. Some other unicorn might have used her magic to play with my balls or my ass, but Rarity used her aura to ensure that her fedora stayed firmly in place even as she banged her head onto my cock.

“Aw, fuck, so sloppy an’ hot!” Applejack moaned. “Mah pussy‘s burnin’ up! Why’s it always make me so wet ta share with mah best friend?”

“Best not to think about it too much, darling, wahahah!” Rarity came up for air with a blush and desperately tried to change the subject. “N-now that you mention it, my delicate marehood is rather aflame as well! Let’s switch holes, shall we? Who shall take him in her feminine garden first?”

“We’ll share him,” said Applejack simply. “That’s what friends do.”

“Oh, of course, right as usual, Applejack!” Rarity babbled. “Best pony friends forever!”

Applejack twisted her body around and expertly dropped her plot onto my hips, burying my dick inside her tight pussy without warning. “G-waaah!” I cried out.

“Oh, sorry, too tight for ya?”

“It’s... it’s incredible...” I weeped. This was a Guardsmare class pussy, firm and muscular, but Applejack was wielding her sex with a skill only the most senior Guardsmares possessed.

“Goodness, Paul, don’t decide yet!” Rarity aggressively kissed me. “You haven’t even sampled my velveteen secrets!”

“Decide?” I croaked out. “I have to decide?”

“Sooner or later, yeah.” Applejack slipped her ass off my hips, tugging my cock out of her, her vulva unwilling to let up on my crown until the very end. “A little greedy, ain’t it, for one stallion ta date two o’ us Element bearers?”

“We’re dating now?”

“Not quite, darling. Think of this as... an audition, yes! A sexy audition for the coveted part of ‘marefriend!’” Rarity grasped me in her magic and slowly slipped me into her own quivering, throbbing slit. It was a different kind of pleasure: warmer, softer, gentler than Applejack’s cunt, yet just as eager to milk a load out of my balls.

“Exactly as I dreamed,” Rarity murmured as she hilted herself on me. “The beautiful Rarity and the handsome what’s-his-dong—”

“Paul,” Applejack interjected helpfully.

“—I was just about to remember. Rarity and Paul, joined in lust after minutes of helpless desire for one another!”

“Don’t hog ’im,” Applejack complained. “Lemme have a go.”

“Patience, dear Applejack.” Rarity slowly stepped forward, her pussy winking against my dick as it slid out of her. “Any stallion I date deserves better than frantic female humping. Yes, I take it nice and slow.” The head of my cock slipped out of Rarity’s hole with an audible “pop,” and the unicorn sighed with bliss.

“Slow, eh? Don’t mind if I do.” Applejack gently eased her pussy backwards onto my cock, swallowing it up again, tenderizing it with her powerful muscles and letting it stew.

“Now you’re hogging him.”

“Horseshoe’s on the other hoof now, ain’t it?”

This was how they fucked me, masterfully trading stroke for stroke, like a single pussy that kept changing its shape. It was incredible. Royal Guardsmares didn’t share, they rode me til they nutted and then hopped off to give the next girl a go. But Applejack and Rarity really were best friends, and they’d definitely done this before. Suddenly I heard a thump against the door to the heroes’ private car, and I noticed the pegasus conductor and several other ponies, all with their faces pressed excitedly against the glass.

“G-guys...” I called out. “There’s ponies at the window! They’re watching us have sex!”

Rarity tossed her mane dramatically. “Let them watch... and wish,” she declared.

This wasn’t the first time I’d performed for an audience. As long as I had Applejack and Rarity to protect me from the creepy conductor, I could do it. I reached out with both hands and stroked the two perfect plots that were sharing my cock: Applejack’s so tight and firm, Rarity’s so jiggly and soft.

“Nice an’ round, ain’t it?” Applejack asked me as her tiny pussy descended almost painfully down my shaft. “I’ll set you up in a guest room, an’ you can squeeze the juice outta this apple mornin’ and night. Most lunchtimes, too, cept Tuesdays when I gotta work the market.”

“I hardly think the question of where Paul is staying has been settled,” Rarity objected, squeezing her plush lips over the head of my cock as she took her turn. “I think he’d benefit from a stay in Ponyville’s bustling downtown, and a friendly unicorn to snuggle him to sleep.”

Applejack snorted, bouncing back down onto me and grasping me tight on her way out. “What could ya possibly offer Paul in yer tiny apartment with its tiny bed that he couldn’t get ten times better at Sweet Apple Acres?”

“Anal,” stated Rarity simply. My cock lurched and swelled inside her, only to be released and squeezed down to size a moment later by Applejack’s twat.

“Well now, that just ain’t fair,” Applejack sulked. “You know I got a rare condition called tight-assedness which precludes doin’ any butt stuff.” Her prim little pucker twitched between her bouncing ass cheeks as she slid off of me to give her friend the next stroke.

“All’s fair in love, darling.” Rarity claimed my cock once again with her slippery smooth pocket, the puffy and well used ponut above winking at me invitingly. “And if it isn’t love on your side, it certainly is on mine.” Rarity neighed loudly as she buried me inside her, and the two friends sped up their tag-teaming backwards thrusts onto my cock.

“Aw... gosh...” Applejack grunted. “He’s a real clit-tickler, this guy. Ain’t never had one this small, but can’t say as I mind.”

“Oh, my, yes!” Rarity called out dramatically. “It’s as though Paul were sculpted to please mares! Every inch is of the most divine construction! Dear me, I may never go back to pony stallions!”

“I wouldn’t go that far, but he’s — umph — scratchin’ mah itch with the best of ’em. Real glad ta be doin’ this with ya, best friend.”

“Oh, Applejack!” Rarity cried out. “I never dreamed the heights of lust went so very high!”

“I know we fight, Rarity, but I love ya!”

“Oh, dearest Applejack!” Again it was sounding like the two of them were fucking each other, with the presence of me and Paul Junior nothing but a minor and insignificant detail.

“Aw, Rarity, aw, dang, sharin’ with you, it’s the best! It just feels right, somehow!”

“I’m close, Applejack! May I keep him inside as my climax overwhelms me?”

“If ya do it quick instead o’ talkin’ mah ear off bout it!”

“Ahh! Ahhh!” Rarity took her place between my legs and bounced forcefully back and forth for a few strokes until she came, covering my dick with spurts of gooey offwhite marecum that dripped down my balls and thighs. “Oh, the peak of fashion... I mean, passion! Ahh... ahh.... oh, Paul, dear, dear Paul.” The fancy mare huffed, her cheeks bright red as she quivered and throbbed against my cock. Finally the well dressed unicorn climbed off of me, let her trenchcoat drop over her swollen vulva, and stretched out onto the bench next to me, leaving my stiff cock coated with sticky fluids.

“Heck, that looked fun. Ya mind if I finish him off?” asked Applejack.

“Do whatever you like, dear.” Rarity yawned. “This pleasured heap of mare needs to take a moment.” She reached her neck forward and kissed me tenderly, as Applejack dropped her ass and rode me roughly like a rodeo bull, twisting her hips with each plunge.

“Oh, fuck...” I moaned. The two sexy mares had been teasing me expertly, drawing me out longer than I’d thought possible, but with the earth pony now devoted to destroying my dick with her powerful plot, I found I couldn’t hold out much longer. “Applejack... I’m close!”

“Don’t be afraid ta cum inside,” Applejack told me. “I’m on 5 kinds o’ birth control jes’ ta counteract mah natural earth pony fecundity. O’ course, if ya do get me in the family way, you’ll take responsibility, wontcha?”

“I can’t...” I whispered sadly, “...with a pony, I mean.” It was the worst thing about being stranded in Equestria. I’d always wanted to be a dad, and now I’d never get the chance.

“How very interesting, darling,” Rarity murmured seductively, absolutely missing the point.

“Aww, weak swimmers, eh?” Applejack was sympathetic, kind of. “Keep tryin’, you’ll get there. Maybe some breedin’ talk will help. Gimme a foal, ya hot human stud!”

The thought of raising a child with beautiful, tight assed Applejack popped my cork. My sperm rushed into her and I groaned into Rarity’s mouth, overcome by pleasure. Applejack grunted and gushed over my thighs as she rammed her butt backwards into my pelvis, claiming her own orgasm to go with mine. Finally her thrusts slowed and she picked her hat back up off the floor of the train car, setting it properly on her head.

“Whoo! That put out the durn brushfire for a bit.” Applejack climbed off of me, took my limp noodle into her mouth, and cleaned the juices of our threesome off my shaft.

“That was fucking hot, if you’ll excuse my Prench,” Rarity confessed.

“Thank ya kindly.” Applejack nodded at her friend. “Speakin’ o’ Prench stuff, I still got that strap in mah suitcase, if ya wanna go fer round two.”

“Now, Applejack!” Rarity nibbled on my tongue, firmly yet lightly. “You know you’ll need to get at least half a cider inside of me before I’ll consent to that. Dear me, what would Paul think if I simply let another mare ravage me?”

“I reckon yer right,” Applejack grumbled. “Durn heteronomative matriarchy, fetishizin’ male bisexuality while erasin’ the feminine sort...”

Rarity reached inside my tube top with her magical aura and tweaked my erect nipples. “Mmm, isn’t that better, dear?” she asked me. “Now that you’ve had your little stallion cummies, we can do something about these hideous clothes of yours.”

“I-it’s my Royal Guard uniform,” I tried to explain.

“You’re not in the Guard anymore. You’re greatly overdressed for civilian life, and such drab colours! Come, let Rarity treat you right.” Rarity pulled a notion case from beneath her seat. “I’ll sew you some scandalous new loincloths before I parade you through the streets of Ponyville, but for now, we can accessorize with sexy patches.”

Rarity lit up her horn and sewed a patch onto my tube top that read “EYE CANDY.” Her magic moved down to my groin and gently tickled my spent cock as she added another to the front of my loincloth. The lewd patch showed a colourful, dripping popsicle and the words “A TREAT FOR MARES.”

Applejack licked her lips. “Mmm, that patch don’t lie.”

“Turn around, darling,” Rarity told me. “Let’s see that nice, firm Guardstallion tushy.”

I reluctantly stood up and bent over, drawing a groan from both mares. I felt Rarity’s gentle touch again as she magically applied one patch to the back of my loincloth, then added a second with a giggle.

“I dunno bout that one, Rarity...” Applejack muttered dubiously.

“Oh, nonsense. Every stallion loves a good swat on the plot.” She lightly smacked my ass through the loincloth. “It’s a compliment, really.”

I looked over my shoulder and read the patches Rarity had sewn to my rear view. One showed cartoon drawings of Rarity and Applejack with ahegao eyes, shouting “RARIJACK APPROVED!” The other simply said “LIKE IT? SPANK IT!”

“You’re all set, Paul.” Rarity spanked me again, just because she could. “Anypony who doubts your masculine wiles because of your species or your, erm, measurements, need only look at your pert rump for a devastating re-butt-al.”

“That’s right,” Applejack agreed. “Why, you already done satisfied the most beautiful, glamorous, fabulous mare in Ponyville!” She snickered. “An’ Rarity, too.”

“Yes, with our endorsement, you’re certain to meet your special somepony in no time.” Rarity uttered a sinister chuckle. “In fact, something tells me you already have...”

“Hoo boy,” Applejack sighed. “Here we go agin...”