Good Stallions Don't...

Saturday morning started with a heavenly lover’s embrace in the barracks. Stealthy Stiletto, winner of this year’s Iron Mare competition, slowly awakened underneath my gentle muzzle kisses and gave me a dreamy smile. “Good morning, Private.”

“I love you,” I whispered to her. I meant it. I loved all my comrades. I would never be allowed to protect them in combat, so I had to show my love in different ways.

“One more round before inspection?” Stealthy asked. She spread her hind legs, showing me a sloppy cunt and a ponut so tight it had held on to everything I’d pumped up there throughout the night. “I’ll let you pick the hole!”

I felt a stirring in my crotch. Stealthy’s first kiss last night had lifted Celestia’s chastity spell, and my little soldier wanted to make up for lost time. “I think I’ll go for a frontal assault,” I announced. That horse pussy was pure bliss.

“Hrm, a bold strategy.” Stealthy nodded with approval. I kissed her more deeply and let her tongue chase mine. Suddenly a scroll appeared in a sparkle of magic and dropped onto my head.

“Ooh, that looks important!” Stealthy teased me. I picked up the scroll and saw that it bore the royal seal. “Maybe you’re being deployed to Celestia’s butt crack!” I unrolled the scroll and read it.

NOTICE OF DISCHARGE

With the marriage of Princess Mi Amore Cadenza to Private Shining Armour (retd.), the 1st Stallions Auxiliary Morale Corps has been disbanded. You are hereby discharged with honour from Her Majesty’s Royal Guard. Princess Celestia thanks you for your service to Equestria, and wishes you a happy retirement.

Sincerely,
Raven Inkwell
Royal Scribe

“Geeze, Shining works fast,” I muttered to myself. “Good for him. Wait, I’m fired?”

“What?” Stealthy Stiletto took the scroll away from me and read it. “This isn’t right. Please, Paul, take my collar. Let’s get married. I’ll support you.”

“I can’t, Stealthy, I’m sorry.”

“Some other mare, then. Anypony in the Guard would happily offer you her collar.”

“Yeah!” cried one mare. A crowd had started forming around our bed, as more and more mares read my notice and begun weeping.

“We love you!” another mare added.

“And I love all of you, but I don’t want to be your husband! I wanted to defend Equestria with you!”

“It’s not fair!” one mare bawled. “I just joined up! Now I’ll never get my pussy licked!”

“Ask and you shall receive!” snickered another. I was gripped in unicorn magic and dragged across the barracks floor until my face was shoved into a meaty, unwashed pony cunt. I was technically a civilian now, but as the only “stallion” in a barracks of demanding Guardsmares, there was only one way out. I went to work with my lips and tongue, as my new lover moaned out loudly.

“You don’t have to just do whatever Celestia says,” Stealthy Stiletto told me.

“Actually, I do...” I licked the newbie’s sensitive clit, getting into the feel of her hoof caressing the back of my head.

“We can always file a royal petition and have you reinstated.”

“I can do that?”

“You can’t,” Stealthy told me, “but we can do it for you.”

“Yeah!” one of the other Guardsmares agreed.

“We’ll all sign it!”

“Celestia just wants you for herself!”

A sassy mare spanked my bare ass. “Yeah, save some ‘cake’ for us, your majesty! Hahahah!”

“I’m cumming, girls!” squealed the Guard newbie, spraying my face with sweet pungent mare cream. “This is so awesome! The stallions back in Appleloosa were so respectable! They’d never do anything like this!”

“That’s why we’ve got to keep Paul around!” Stealthy Stiletto slapped me hard on the back, burying my mouth in mare pussy. “Are you ready to sign the petition, newbie?”

“Yeah, anything! Anything to keep this tongue in me — fuck, it’s happening again! I love you, Paul!”

“I love you too, newbie,” I slurped, and I meant it.

I knelt in the grand throne room alongside my comrades as Stealthy Stiletto made her argument to the two royal sisters. “And that’s why Paul should be allowed to stay inside me,” she concluded. “I mean, in the Royal Guardsmares. I mean, in the Royal Guard.”

Princess Celestia raised an eyebrow. “This is serious business, Luna! A mutiny of my finest soldiers, all for the sake of one little human stallion.”

Princess Luna unrolled the petition, a long scroll full of cartoon hearts and mushy praise from dozens of Guardsmares. “Verily,” she mused, “he must be one of Equestria’s greatest lovers to inspire devotion in such hardened mares. Mayhap he even goeth... ‘downtown.’”

Celestia shifted her beautiful, godlike body in her throne. “Well, Paul, let’s hear from you. Seducing my little ponies, then leaving my service, abandoning them, breaking their hearts... tsk tsk tsk. What do you have to say for yourself?”

I stood up and cleared my throat. This was my big chance to make a difference. “Your majesties, the way stallions are treated here just isn’t fair. This isn’t about me, it affects all of Equestria. You wouldn’t have so many lonely Guardsmares if stallions and mares were equal, the way men and women are on Earth.”

“Is that really true, human?” Celestia asked me. “Do you mean to say that where you come from, there are no differences between males and females?”

“How dull!” Luna opined.

“Sure, there are differences,” I explained, “but we have the same opportunities. Men and women can both join the military, go to university, marry or stay single. Men can even be the rulers of countries.”

Celestia laughed loudly. “Oho, Luna! Mere equality will not satisfy him — he wants to rule!”

I suddenly realized I’d said the wrong thing. “That’s not what I—”

“Mayhap we can accommodate this demanding human,” Luna snickered. “Hath not Equestria a king, one day a year?”

“One night a year, on All Fool’s Eve, where everything is topsy turvy! I don’t think we should have brought that holiday back.”

Luna pressed the point. “Yet we hath resumed the celebration since my return, hath we not?”

“Yes, like the moat pool party, and all the other silly traditions you’ve reinstated.”

“Then let us declare today a second All Fool’s Eve, and show this most foolish of all stallions the error of his ways.”

“I have been curious about his unusual form,” Celestia admitted. “The strange sounds coming from the barracks at night...”

“Not to mention the rather vivid dreams that follow,” Luna added. “Come, sister, let us lower ourselves before this mighty stallion, and take his true measure.”

The princesses descended their thrones and bowed low before me, their horns sending out magical sparks as they touched the ground. Celestia gestured at her throne with a hoof. “Take your place, King Paul.”

“B-but!” I protested. “I can’t...”

“A king is bound by duty,” Luna insisted, “the same as the merest soldier or peasant. Ascend the throne, thy majesty, and discharge thine... responsibilities.”

I reluctantly climbed up onto Celestia’s throne and sat in the depression her royal plot had worn in the marble over the last 1,000 years. Celestia hovered her golden diadem onto my head. My Guard comrades squealed in joy and clapped their hooves to watch me take my “rightful” place in command of Equestria.

I cleared my throat and raised one hand. “As the king of Equestria, I declare that stallions and mares are eq—mmmph!” Luna silenced me with a passionate kiss.

“Tut, tut,” Celestia murmured. She stroked the rough cloth of my Royal Guard uniform: a tiny loincloth and a tube top that barely covered my nipples. “Such common garb is unbefitting.” The princess zapped my clothing away, allowing my erection to jut out before my naked body.

“Ah!” Equestria’s former ruler ogled my cock as I struggled beneath her sister’s brutal tongue. “Our bold king has already issued his first edict! A proclamation not in words (which would have no actual effect, but nice try, Paul) but in firm, commanding flesh.”

Luna broke her kiss. “Then let us not tarry to obey, sister.” She lowered her muzzle to match her sister’s and sniffed my crotch. “Already he reeks of pleasured mare. It augureth well! Paul’s reign, though brief, will be prosperous indeed!”

“Oh my gosh, girls, that’s me they’re smelling!” Stealthy Stiletto cried out.

I let out a helpless moan as Luna’s mouth engulfed my cock with the coolness of space. Celestia granted each of my testicles a royal kiss, content to let her sister tend my shaft. “Only weeks ago I cast this member into chastity,” the sun princess mused. “Now here it stands, my superior... my master...” She set her lips and tongue to play upon my orbs. Her touch was heavenly, like warm sunlight running over my balls.

“His dimensions are somewhat lacking,” Luna observed.

“Yet my Guard think him suited to the task,” Celestia pointed out.

“I merely meant to comment, sister.” Luna soliloquized between slurps on my head and deep bobs of her neck that took me to the base. “Yea, ’tis a fine cock. The shape, the firmness, the taste... all are excellent. Yet well formed pricks may be found in every town and hamlet. ’Tis truly said that a splendid ‘crown’ maketh not a king.”

Celestia giggled. “Good one, Luna.”

“Let us see if this wondrous stallion from another world can truly rule Equestria. Hark! Even now, our subjects doth quarrel.”

Raven Inkwell, the scribe who’d signed my discharge papers, read from a scroll in a monotone. “Presenting to the court of King Paul I: the Element of Generosity and the Element of Honesty, exercising their right to have their friendship problems settled directly by the Crown.”

Two of the Elements were here? They were basically royalty themselves, and now I had to solve their friendship problem? I quivered with terror. Even the best fellatio of my life couldn’t keep me stiff in this high-stakes, humiliating situation.

“Our king waivers,” Luna told her sister with disapproval.

“That will not do,” Celestia agreed. I felt a tentacle of her magic push up my ass and stroke me from the inside, instantly restoring my erection. “Ah, how wonderful... this magical creature is as easily led as any other stallion. Destined to be the plaything of any mare who can find his cute little P-spot.”

The two Element bearers trotted into the throne room, stepping through the awestruck ranks of my Guardsmare comrades, and bowed before Celestia’s usurped throne. Before me I saw a beautiful unicorn with a flowing purple mane who’d adorned her outfit with countless jewels, and an earth pony who wore a cowboy hat and seemed uncomfortable in a plain gingham dress.

“Your majesties,” the unicorn began. “And you... strangely handsome ape thing. I must tell you that this year’s weather plan for Ponyville calls for far too much summer rain.”

The earth pony stomped her hoof. “An’ I say it don’t call fer half enough rain!” she declared. “We went light last summer, an’ I won’t be stiffed two years runnin’!”

“Choose wisely, oh king!” Celestia murmured, hungrily drooling over my testicles. “Too much rain, and tourists will shun Ponyville’s shopping district.”

“And ruin my business,” the unicorn sniffed.

“Too little rain,” Luna cautioned, swirling her tongue over my glans, “and Ponyville’s crops will shrivel on the trees, like the unused balls of unmarried stallions.”

“An’ ruin mah business!” declared the earth pony.

“Well, your majesty?” Raven Inkwell smirked at me. “What is your decree?”

“We humble princesses will perform our duties silently,” Luna assured me, “and await thy male wisdom.”

“Erm... uhhh...” The pleasure of the double royal blowjob was too intense for me to think of anything else. “How about a nice compromise of three days a week?”

“Three days of rain?” the unicorn sputtered. “I may as well shutter my shop!”

“Then how about... oh fuck... two days?” I suggested, desperately humping my hips into Luna’s mouth as Celestia’s tongue burrowed deep into my asshole.

“Ya don’t know a durn thing bout apple farmin’, do ya?”

“Oh, Paul, Paul.” Celestia came up for air from my humid taint and pouted sadly at me. “I’m afraid the whole court can see where your talents lie. Gifted you are among stallions, but a stallion is all you are.”

Luna cupped my cockhead with her tongue and noisily slurped up a mouthful of saliva that dripped down my shaft. “Still, by our decree, thou remaineth the rightful king of Equestria til the stroke of midnight — however many strokes might lie between.” Luna drizzled her spit back onto the head of my cock like chocolate sauce on a sundae. “Might this unworthy servant suggest thee delegate these difficult decisions to an advisor, and spend thy day of privilege in activities more enjoyable?”

“Canterlot is full of spoiled noblemares in unhappy political marriages,” Celestia hinted. “A proper king could bed them all... satisfy them for the first time in years...”

“Their husbands would not dare to give a peep,” Luna assured me. “Struth, many would lift tail as eagerly as their wives.”

“And yet... would you tend to those lesser nobles, and neglect the Princesses who move the very sun and moon?”

“Shame, shame, oh king,” murmured Luna. “For the thousand years of my exile I burned for a stallion’s gentle touch. Would you deny me?”

“Of course not!” I reached over to stroke Luna’s flowing mane, and somehow the cosmic slut dared to coyly blush.

“And I, who brought the sun to warm you as you exercised on all those winter mornings.” Celestia showed me a bratty frown even as her tongue found the biggest vein on my cock and worked it mercilessly. “Would you leave my bed cold and joyless?”

“Never!” I promised, overwhelmed. Two royal tongues raced up and down my shaft, driving me to the heights of lust. In the Royal Guard I’d gone to bed with two mares at once, or even more, but only because there weren’t enough stallions to go around. I’d never been shared like this. I couldn’t hold out much longer... and then the princesses took the dirty talk to the next level.

“Show us a sign of your favour, king,” Celestia begged me.

“Mark us with thy royal seed.”

“Claim us as your high born sluts before those we once dared to call our court.”

“Show all Equestria how thou wouldst degrade a human mare, thy supposed ‘equal.’”

“Yeah, bust that monkey nut all over—whoo, Luna, there he goes!”

The royal court, the Elements and the petitioning Guardsmares all applauded as my dick erupted high in the air. Not a drop hit the ground: Celestia and Luna made sure to catch each silver gift on their tongues. All the while, the sun princess relentlessly worked her magic against my prostate to milk as much out of me as possible. Finally the two sisters pressed kisses against my diminishing cock, tasting every last droplet of cum that throbbed out of my slit.

“Ahhh,” Luna sighed, licking her lips.

“The gift of life itself,” Celestia moaned.

“Delicious.”

“Ambrosial.”

“I must have more.”

“We will have more.”

I lay back in the surprisingly comfortable throne. “Wow, that was incredible, your Highnesses. Let me just take a quick nap, and I’d love to—”

“None of that,” Celestia insisted firmly, and with her magic sent new life surging into my cock. “The mighty spear of the king always stands ready to defend Equestria.”

“Oh, shit!” I moaned. I thrust my hips, suddenly burning with incredible desire, desperate to bury my cock in any hole I could find.

“It seems thou canst raise more than just the sun, sister,” Luna snickered.

“Dang, Luna, you’re hilarious today!” The two royal sisters shared a hoof bump.

The earth pony standing before the throne wiped her brow with her cowboy hat. “That’s a real hot show ya got goin’, Princesses,” she admitted, “but it ain‘t solvin’ our little weather dispute. Unless this human feller’s gonna personally water mah crops with his jizz, which I hope he ain’t, considerin’ what it would do ta the nutrient mix.”

“Ah, yes,” Luna whispered to me. “The tedium of rule resumes. Alas, there is more to ruling Equestria than ruining her Princesses.”

“And yet her Princesses need such ruining...” Celestia pouted. “We beg you, King Paul, say the word, and we three can happily retire to the royal fuck-dome. Your lessers will manage these simple affairs of the weather.”

“F-fuck-dome?” I stuttered.

“A magical place indeed.” Luna raised an eyebrow, “if thee darest to command us there.” The sisters resumed their oral teasing of my sensitive cock, gazing longingly up at me.

Looking around, I saw only a single hope. “R-Raven, would you mind?” I asked. “Helping the Elements with their friendship problem?” The royal scribe smiled and gave a bow that was more of a nod.

“Such a clever stallion,” Luna murmured condescendingly.

“Come, my king.” Celestia extended a hoof and helped me off her throne. “Let us leave your servant Raven to attend these matters, and explore new realms of pleasure. If you live a thousand years, you will never know such joy as you will find today.”

“Verily, thy fun shall be doubled!” Luna cheered.

“I got this, Paul.” Raven Inkwell slyly winked at me as I was escorted with quivering knees out of the throne room. “Enjoy the fuck-dome. I’ll see you tonight... and then we’ll have some real fun.”