Pirate Bebop

Ch.101

“There!” Ah-ha! There’s the sneaky little thing! It’s practically a closed sweater sleeve!

“Thanks! With all these ripples in the Webway surface, the sensors couldn’t tell the difference.” EDI stated and I pulled off the camera visor in case the Blade entering the small space would generate a memetic hazard. “It’s like a giant pale white vagina opening around us. This would be gross if I haven’t had plenty of fun with things like this for thousands of years.”

“Don’t tempt me.” I huffed as I fanned my cleavage through the opening of my tank top that had target bullseyes around my nipples. “All the outside influences and our own rampant horniness is hard enough without the synthetic person in the room adding to the tension.”

“You just haven’t hit your stride. When you do, things like this will be much easier. The only reason the others are susceptible is because all of you fresh-meat harem members are driving them crazy.” EDI giggled with some sharp whistles and chirps.

“Fuck. I don’t think I’ll be able to hit that fer several decades.” I huffed fondly. I look forward to all the many, many years ahead of us. However long that will be. I was already an ageless species, but now I have similarly unaging people to share my time with. Assuming we don’t all die, which I’m trying not to think about despite the Force’s insistence that it might happen soon.

“I married someone almost normal by the standards of the Empire. I didn’t marry him for his body, that came later. You have the challenge of discovering who your new lovers are beneath their sexy bodies and deep carnal hungers.” EDI said sagely, but she was wrong. I already know them better than I once knew myself. You don’t share a Soul and forget everything about it.

That said, I know they need their space now and then. I sense that isn’t exactly the case here, but I’ll find out later. The Force says so. She’s quite the gossip.

🎺

“Did you have to use your own milk?” Bryan asked his wife in aroused exasperation as he put the pan in the oven. While the Tanuki didn’t get to have solid food often, they still fantasized and kept kitchens equipped. The dust had to be cleaned out before they got started, though the milking station was both clean and worn from extensive use. Vinnie had used it immediately.

“You know damn well my milk is creamy, rich and fatty enough to make those muffins fluff up perfectly!” Vinnie rebutted playfully as she shook her girls in her sports bra. Since this expedition wasn’t in any way an uptight military excursion, nobody was in uniform since Bryan gave up on it after throwing himself at Kiro and Jane like the horny bitch he was at that moment.

“Yes, I know and you’re right.” He sighed fondly as Vinnie stirred the rice in the pot, sending her jubblies jiggling against their apron confinement. Thankfully she wasn’t nude besides the apron or she’d be trying to cook while impaled on his length. “How’s the sazon color coming?”

“Beautifully. I’m glad we keep so many ingredients in our Inventories, because we forgot to stock the Blade before taking off.” Vinnie giggled at the almost unfortunate circumstance of going in without food supplies packed for the trip. Then again, nobody thought of it since ships were usually regularly stocked. The Tanuki don’t do that, so it was an unpleasant surprise.

“…I’ve been thinking about Treasure Planet. I know Flint plundered gold and other sorts of riches, but what if it’s not just that? What if he’s plundered technology?” Bryan theorized and Vinnie hummed as she added the olives, capers and the other ingredients of Puerto Rican chicken and rice. The thighs were pre-seared and waiting to be nestled in.

“That’s assuming things are so close to canon. Treasure Planet in this reality is the Protoss’s last ditch effort to avoid whatever mass-extinction event took the Terrans and the ancient Zerg. It obviously failed if they didn’t return to realspace from the Warp.” Vinnie buried the chicken under the rice and then closed the cast iron pot before moving it to the waiting second oven. “Yip!” Vinnie yelped when Bryan slapped her ass and her bushy puffball of a spiky tail wiggled.

“Couldn’t help it with you bending over like that, my Jolteon wife.” Bryan chuckled and Vinnie closed the oven before playfully swatting his left pec with a naughty smile.

“Shut up and back it up, my Arcanine husband.” Vinnie purred and hummed happily when he moved in and they kissed. Her hands grabbed his butt gently and he did the same, but they parted and both of their tails were wagging. “So, dinner and dessert are baking. What do we do while we wait~?” Vinnie licked her lips and pressed her breasts into his lower pecs hungrily.

“Set the table and then go get our new lovers so we can sit down for a romantic dinner?” Bryan asked and then purred when she pouted and cupped his groin. “Now, now, that’s for later.”

“The after-dinner dessert. Right. That just makes it taste better.” Vinnie snorted and followed Bryan out of the kitchen with her hand in his back pocket. These pants have pockets?

“Naughty Jolteon.” Bryan chuckled at his wife’s refusal to keep her hands off of him.

“Mm, careful. I might start sparking.” Vinnie cooed with some electricity jumping between her spiky bristles around her floofy neck.

“Don’t make me breathe fire~.” He replied with some smoke from his lips.

“Heh, we should stop before we get abducted and turned into actual Pokemon for an adventure to try and help some 10-year-old become a Champion.” Vinnie chuckled in a manner that said she wouldn’t be too upset over it and Bryan rolled his eyes. Leave Vinnie to have fantasies of actually being a Pokemon in a glorified dogfight.

It’d be a nice change of pace, yeah, but he’d be going stir-crazy until he found Hoopa, Palkia or Arceus and smashed their faces in until they sent him home. Why did he feel like that’s exactly what some alternate universe version of himself did? If ever they met, he would pat him on the back for telling a Deity Legendary where they could shove it.

🎺

“Is that a clone facility from Kamino?” EDI asked as we passed a facility on an island floating in the Webway once the almost literal euphemistically vagina-tight corridor opened up into a proper Webway tunnel.

“If it is, the Homunculi have it now. Avoid those sorts of facilities or else they will try to snag us.” Kally answered through the intercom.

“How did it get here? That makes no sense.” I commented, then again, this is the Warp, Webway or not. I can’t see what EDI is seeing in case of memetic hazards, but I could imagine ancient clone troopers all over it.

“We must be in Tzeentch’s realm then. He loves hoarding things in nonsensical ways or places. Homunculi have almost no independence, perfect for the Schemer.” Kally stated and EDI squeaked about something. “Oh, also, watch out for tentacles. Slaanesh may like tentacles for lewd reasons, but Tzeentch’s realm is always reaching and grasping. Literally.”

“Maybe we should’ve asked Vinnie for guidance.” Considering her connection with Tzeentch, she could help-.

“Guidance for what?” Vinnie chirped and I perked happily at seeing my Soul-Mate. I joined Vinnie in snorting at the atrocious pun. Soul-Goddesses~! “So, what’s up?” My Jolteon-like lover asked after she finished getting near. I had to resist touching her, because while both of us want it, this isn’t the time.

“I’m dodging eldritch space-tentacles as I fly us through this tunnel of the Webway! Do you have any advice for dealing with this mollusk’s sticky tendies?!” EDI demanded and I was still amused by the cute little droid’s panic.

“Oh, so we’re at the last stretch. Yeah, the tentacles aren’t your only concern.” Vinnie said nonchalantly as the sounds of thunder rumbled outside. Something that was impossible in realspace, but this was the Warp. Logic takes a back seat. “Watch out for the Helldrakes.” Vinnie advised before she took my hand and gently pulled me along.

“So. We’re gonna do this? Have dinner, chat, then fuck? I haven’t been able to do anything like this since I was a teenager.” I nervously admitted to the bristled beauty and she rubbed my knuckles while still gently pulling me along. I really wish Luster Dawn was here, but she’s staying out of the Warp from heavy advice to stay behind. Same for Luna and Celestia.

“Yep!” Vinnie nodded with a cheerful smile.

“So...it’s been hundreds of years since I’ve done anything like this. What do we talk about?” I asked, my nervousness intensifying. My gosh, it’s because it’s her and Brennie, isn’t it? Well, her, Brennie and two others. Kiro and Kally? Oh fuck, my heart is pounding!

“Something we are comfortable telling our significant other. Also, this is more about you three. You’ve shared Souls with us, remember?” Vinnie stated and I gulped. That’s partly the issue with her and Brennie. I don’t know what to talk about! They already know everything about me and I know nearly everything about them, what is there to talk about?!

“There you are.” I suddenly couldn’t see anything or anyone besides the handsome dracowolf standing in the hallway. Oh my gosh, that’s right. Brennie used to originally be male like me! Oh no~! He’s so hot! Why do I have to so intensely remember I used to be a heterosexual male before Lusty turned me primarily female~?! “Existential crisis? I’m surprised you lasted this long.” Shut up you stupid-sexy stud!

“I’ve been having multiple episodes over the months, this is just the latest one where I question how I gave up my old ways so easily and wonder if it was by my own choice or if I was molded by the universe to serve a purpose.” I replied rapidly, trying not to think about bending over and letting him stuff me full of puppies! I also still want to see my current puppies in person.

“Sorry you’ve been feeling that way.” He casually replied as Vinnie pulled me up to him.

“How come ya don’t feel compelled to be only one of the genders?” I pouted up at the man. How can he function right when he switches between the two?!

“Because I don’t think about it or give a shit. So long as it’s my choice, I can do what I feel like.” Bryan’s answer filled me with reassurance about the choices I’ve made so far.

“Then I feel like giving up on my male form besides the dick on occasion?” I asked myself and sighed in acceptance. I really have just decided my new normal is me, not who or what I used to be before Lusty came into my life and saved me. I accepted that months ago, it’s just jarring.

“We should go, dinner is waiting for us.” Bryan and Vinnie led me into the dining area. I smiled at Kiro and Kally, who were both practically holding themselves to their seats and salivating at the food on the table. The two gluttons are probably suffering from restraining themselves. “Vinnie, did you cook enough food?”

“I hope I did.” The golden bunnywolf chuckled nervously.

“W-we’ll be good! We won’t eat more than our share. Right, sis?” Kally said through her teeth.

“Yeah, food, ours, theirs.” Kiro slurred through her slurped drool, her eyes stuck to the plates.

“I’m good with one serving.” I mentioned as I approached the table and sat next to Kiro, who managed to look away from her empty plate waiting to be served to look at me with a sheepish expression. “I know it’s what yew’re used to, but ya can drink my milk to top off.”

“It’s not the amount, angel. It’s the fact that it’s real food~.” Kiro whimpered and turned her gaze back to the large closed pot in the center of the table and the muffins around it. She and Kally then both moaned in an arousing longing as their stomachs roared like savage beasts.

“…We’re gonna need more food.” Bryan sighed and Vinnie sped over back into the kitchen nearby. “We might as well start, she’ll be back-.”

“Back!” Vinnie, tousled and still wearing an apron that made her sexier even though she was still wearing clothes underneath, declared before sitting down and running her fingers through her bristly hair and fur which visibly sparked with electricity. “The next course will be ready in about a half-hour, so we should talk and eat, yeah?” My gosh she’s so adorasexy right now!

“Did ya use Extremespeed or Agility or something?” I joked and Vinnie shrugged.

“Less talk, more food! I mean, please!” Kally blurted, looking like a starving woman and Kiro frantically nodded in desperate hunger. Kiro I get, she’s almost flat! Kally still has her nutrition.

“Eat.” Bryan insisted and served each of us a chicken thigh, along with a single hefty scoop of orange rice loaded with green olives and peas. Then a ladle of a cream sauce was drizzled over it all. “Handmade, no replicator. Thank Vinnie, she’s our chef tonight.”

“Oh my gawd~.” Kiro moaned sexually around the bone of the chicken thigh she’d put whole in her mouth. “It ish sho gud~.” Kiro groaned and even sucked on the food in her mouth. Kally did the same and I looked at the food nervously. Is it that good or are these two gluttons just that desperate for real food? I used a fork and knife to get a piece. O, M, G!

“Puerto Rican Chicken and Rice.” Vinnie declared proudly as the Tanukis and I ate ravenously. “The second wave is just 4-cheese rice with cauliflower and chicken breast.”

A meow came from the vents, followed by another meow and scampering. “I’m sorry, Scrotum! Mama’s in Heaven!” Kally shouted towards the vent and even groped her left breast on her next bite. “Oh, sho gud~!” Kiro nodded in agreement and even had a hand in her lap!

“Do I have to worry about this turning into an episode of Food Wars and your clothes explode off?” Bryan joked and I coughed up some rice before I laughed uncontrollably until Vinnie poured a bottle of something and put the tall glass of red fluid in front of me.

“U-um. I-I’m done with alcohol.” I meekly said, only for her to gently nudge it closer. I hesitantly took the glass, sniffed, then sipped. “Oh, soda. Thank you. What is this? It’s very fruity, but it’s not any flavor I’m familiar with.” I asked while Vinnie poured it for everyone else.

“It’s a brand from Devorak using Blood Berries, Cherries, Cranberry and the souls of the damned!” Vinnie cheerfully answered and I snorted at the joke. I’d sense if there was soul energy in this. There’s something in it, but not soul energy.

“Vinnie, don’t lie. That’s the non-diet version. The diet version doesn’t have souls in it.” Bryan stated and I sensed no deceit this time. Okay then...I’m sure they have entirely logical reasons for using the souls of the damned for soda flavoring. “Anyway, you two. I’ve fused a couple of times with Jane, so I know her in-and-out. I want to learn more about you.”

“Can’t talk, food.” Kiro muffled through her stuffed cheeks, only for Kally to elbow her and they both swallowed. While Kally’s body didn’t change, each swallow had caused Kiro’s boobs to bloat up with milk and she was a DD-cup now. At least she’s getting back her nutrition. “Sorry, hard to think with such incredible food in front of us.”

“Considering what we did last time, I’d say you needed this. Take your time.” Bryan commented with a shrug. “What would you two like to know about us?” He referred to Vinnie and himself.

“Time to eat!” Eris cheered as she rushed into the room, only to cartoonishly skid to a stop and try to escape upon seeing she’d intruded, only for Bryan to grab her long snake tail and she yelped when she was yanked backwards and blushed upon being seated in his lap with his hands on her hips and her tail wrapped around his waist. “Um, sorry? I didn’t know-.”

“It’s fine, you can have some of mine. More is on the way.” The red dracowolf urged and I saw he had barely touched his plate.

“Thank you, daddy~.” Eris purred and shimmied her shoulders against Bryan’s chest.

“Well, first, how does this relationship work? You all fuck around more than we Kui-Tan and that’s saying something.” Kally asked and Kiro nodded before she chugged the tall glass of soda, each gulp making her boobs swell just a tiny bit further. Fuck~ that’s so sexy.

“Most of the people we have sex with are already in the harem. Bryan and I are married. Eris, here, is just an incorrigible fuckbuddy we can’t get away from. We care about her too much. Also, she’s pretty much the one, along with her siblings, to cause us to throw ourselves into the sea of pleasure.” Vinnie answered partially and then looked adoringly at me. “As for Jane and others? They’re already unofficially engaged with us and the others.”

“They’re looking to add you two to that list, in case it wasn’t obvious.” Eris pointed out between nibbles and then she fed Bryan a bite of chicken, having turned sideways and being held casually in his lap.

“Oh~, is this the dinner you promised?” Visilia asked with a purr when she entered. I waved cheerfully at the Fertility Goddess and I was pleasantly surprised when she came to sit next to me and kissed me passionately, making me moan into her lips before we parted and she promptly stole the rest of my soda while Vinnie poured me another.

“Yes, dear. More food is coming, but Vinnie made enough of the first course for seven.” Bryan answered after gulping down his chicken and nuzzled Eris on her head.

“More, to be honest, but it’s easy to forget how much food tanuki can pack away with how skinny they are outside of the hourglass.” Vinnie said nervously as Kiro shoveled the last of her serving into her gullet and her tits bulged back to their original b-ball size. K-cups are King! “Fuck that is so sexy.” Damn straight it is~!

“Down, girl. That’s for later.” Kiro chuckled and leaned into her tail which acted as a cushion for her chair. “Mm, so good. I think freshly cooked food is better than anything a replicator can do.” Kiro belched like a dragon’s roar and then sighed in relief with a slap of her flat tummy. “Good shit. Now my brain isn’t in my gut. So, the way it works is you’re emotionally devoted, but can swing for fun or to even find new harem mates, yeah? I’m sold, that’s all I need to know.”

“Kiro.” Kally chided and then gently pushed her empty plate away before muffling her own sonorous belch in her tail, like a lady. “Mm, I want to know, first, if you’ve ever expelled anyone from the harem, if so then why, along with family rules. You’re too big to just be a harem.”

“Eris, down.” Bryan chuckled at the wiggling serpent, who had turned into a tiny noodle that tried to worm into his pants, but he set her on his shoulders. “We’ve never expelled anyone. We’ve lost people, yes, but it was either to age, illness or assassination. Trust me, that last part got everyone up in arms, our people especially. We don’t mind war, but we hate it when it’s over stupid reasons.”

I shuddered at the memories, the Argentines really left their marks on this universe. However, it was all the strife this universe caused on their own even when trying to help that really caused the Argentines to consider a complete break, even if they refused to divorce their wives here. They still Love them. The fact that it would be best for all of us to go to Devorak stings.

“Poor Pinkie Pie. Her death was one of the wedges between us and this universe.” Visi sighed and I wondered what-oh, right, their Pinkie Pie, not-.

“Someone call?!” The mentioned white-pink pony emerged from a cupboard. “Rice is done!”