Beat Hazard

Gettin to Know Each Other

[My conscience Inferno talks like this in bold]

{I respond to them like this}

Prince and I were over at his house, playing some firefight in Halo:Equis. My consciences were asleep, thank Celestia, but I need something to make me rage, how do I wake them up?

{Wake up...WAKE UP... PORN MUTHAFUCKA!}

[WAH PORN!WHERE!]

{Shutup and help us out!}

[Show me the porn first.]

{Buck you bro, buck you with a stick}

"Starbass, need help ove-FUCK!"

"I'm comin-SHEEYIT!"

Prince and I looked in defeat as the in-game announcer yelled out "GAME OVER!"

"Well shit, I'm goin to Pearl's house." Prince said standing up.

"Heading to Vinyl's, wait, what day is today?"

"Somewhere in March, I think the fourteenth."

[MAREPOCALYPSE. BUCKING RUN!RUUUN!]

"Oh Celestia, barricade the house,it's that time of year again!" I screamed.

In ten minutes Prince and I boarded up the house and got the pistols out.

"Where'd you get these?" I asked.

"Got em when I used to sell drugs."

"Dafuq?"

"Where'd you get the golden pistol?" Prince asked.

"Got it when I used to be a pimp."

"Me gusta."

{Side of me that's asleep, wake up!}

[Marepocalypse man, shit's gonna go down]

Prince and I sat inside of the house bored outta our minds.

"So wanna know about the time I almost had sex with my sister?" I asked.

"You have a sister?" Prince asked.

"Long story short, she was hotter than my first girlfriend."

"Man your first girlfriend gave me the biggest boner." Prince confessed.

[There goes one puppy]

"Well one day.....

Flashback

"Starblaze! I'm home!" I called out through the front door of my house. Another day of high school done, she just faked being sick to skip her test.

"Starblaze, hello?" I asked with no response. My ears cringed from a giant snore coming from her room. I was glad she wasn't dead. I looked into her messy room, her IClop filled with messages a usual. She was different from me, we were in the same grade, same age, but she was more popular, I was more nerdy. Even though I should be resenting it, she's just so bucking sexy. I didn't notice myself still standing and staring at her unconscious body, and felt something peek out from it's sheath.

I looked down, "Oh shit!" I tried pushing it back up but I could rarely move with the wingboner i had.

"Huh! Wha?" Starblaze awoke.

"Ohai there, um this is awkward...." I said sheepisly.

"Were you staring at me? You bucking perv!" She yelled at me.

"I wasn't staring, I was gazing intently!" I protested.

"So what's that?" She asked pointing her hoof to my erection.

"Uh...proof that the gazing was succesful!"

She threw a dictionary at my face."GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ROOM!" I ran...very fast.

Just sitting in mah room, playing some good ol' Shinecraft (REFERENCE). Starblaze walked into my room.

"What, any more books to fuck my face with?" I asked.

"Sorry about that, I took your phone, and seems that Pearl chick wants to go on a date with you." Starblaze grinned.

"Cool story br- YOU TOOK MY PHONE!" I screamed in rage.

"Dude, you got a boner from my sleeping, this is payback!" I snatched my phone from her hooves. I gawked at the text.

So uh, been wanting to ask you this for a while now... I just wanted to see if you could come with me for cake at the place Pinkie works...

"Finally! My life has meaning again!" I screamed in joy.

"Doesn't have meaning until you have sex!" Starblaze teased.

"Clopping is my life... though sex sounds legit..." I replied.

Back to Reality

"You didn't have sex until you were sixteen? Oh man that's priceless!" Prince laughed.

"You didn't have a girlfriend till she broke up with me! TWO WEEKS AGO!"

"Touche"

Flashback

"Just because you get laid every week, while I'm playing video games doesn't mean I have no life!" I argued with Starblaze.

"Read that last sentence again, then tell me you have a life." Starblaze countered.

"Touche"

"So I'm just gonna guess that since you watch so much porn that you know how sex works?" Starblaze questioned in a very teasing manner.

"Don't judge me, watch ponies bone is all the experience." I replied.

"You need to get fucking laid." Starblaze facehoofed.

Present Day

"So are you gonna get to the part involving sex or can I take a nap?" Prince asked.

"Don't rush, you gotta let the story flow............." I said calmly.

Flashback

Okay, since this story is a teen story, and I don't want to get complaints from bitchy kids parents saying that I gave them..."The Full Experience", I'm gonna make this as non....descriptive as I can.

So after Starblaze told Starbass to get laid, their cat Blinx ran up and accidentally tripped Starblaze. She then fell over onto Starbass. The tip of his (Me Gusta) was almost on her.... how do I put it.... (Hole of a thousand Treasures). He then got a raging (Bonfire). Starblaze had the idea of knocking the (11,000 Shits) out of Starbass. Then she slid down and accidentally entered his (Super Mario) into her (Green Pipe). She screamed in pain and tried to quickly get off. But then she slipped on her IClop and fell back down onto his (1-Up Mushroom).

Flashback

"Wait wait, you said almost had sex with your sister, not...."The Full Experience"." Prince remembered.

"Eh, who says Dj's can't lie? Besides she finally got off and beat me to the fucking moon. You know, before Mom got home.

"So where's you sister now?" Prince asked.

"She's a hooker."

So yeah, I had a really long ass abscence, that's beacuse my computer fucked up and I'm REALLY sorry, and I swaer I will keep trying to update or those loyal fans who kept hanging onto me. Except those dislike trolls, they can eat about 69 pounds of shit.

By the way, there is** a video game character reference in their, if someone can say the character and the two game's it's from, then the Almighty Chuck Norris will save you for last.**
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