Beat Hazard

"IT'S TIME FOR ADVENTURE! IN MINECRAFT" Prince bellowed. We were still locked in his house for the last day of Mating Season.

"So um, you make a server, imma go take a piss." I commanded.

5 Minutes Later

"So this is our world huh? I DON'T FUCKING GET IT!" I screamed.

"I know right, where the hell is the water? Maybe a cave system too would be nice!" Prince complained.

"Ugh, just go break a tree or something, maybe we can build a house and a few tools.

15 Minutes Later

"Alright, built ourselves a fucking house!" Prince said happily.

"Aww yeah! Built myself a sword, and pick bitch!" I said in victory.

"Where's my sword and pick?" Prince asked.

"Up where the son don't shine asshole, this is revenge for yesterday."

"Prick..."Prince replied.

"I'm going mining, gonna get some coal and iron and shit." I told Prince.

"I'm gonna, get some food, before it get's dark out." Prince explained.

Prince's Viewpoint

"Alright now I need some pigs, chickens, and cows." Prince told himself. Prince spotted a small bunch of cows.

"Jackpot bitches." Prince went and murdered every cow, taking all their meat....jeez, this is like Burger King's worst nightmare.

"Prince then saw a fuckload of pigs and chickens, all about to become digital, pixelized meat, now this is just bacon and Colonel Sanders's worst nightmare. Prince got so caught up in killing each and every animal that he lost track of time. When he was done, he looked up and saw the moon, right in the middle of the sky. He then heard a hiss. "Son of a bitch!"

Starbass's Viewpoint

"Aww yeah! Found myself some fucking coal!"

"Fuck yeah! Found some iron!"

"Hellz yeah! Found myself some....oh shit it's gold......"

Starbass then mined some diamond. To imagine his reaction properly, start tickling yourself while laughing in a high-pitched voice. Then stop doing that and scream out in a deeper voice, "IT'S GLORIOUS!" Back to the story.

"I got my self some good ol' diamonds, now to find some obsidian." Starbass whistled to himself. What he didn't know, was that he was being followed. 2 Creepers, a Skeleton, 7 Spiders, 1 Giant Slime, 15 Silverfish, 5 Zombies, and 3 Enderman were on his trail. If he didn't make some diamond armor and a sword soon, he'd be fucked so far up the ass it'd come out his mouth.

"Hey! There's some lava, now I can use my water bucket to make obsidian, and mine it all to hell!" I fist pumped.

All the mobs were right behind Starbass, one of them literally taking his fuckstick out. But Starbass had a weapon, and he was about to use it.

"Oh hey guys, wanna see my Bass Cannon? Yes you say, okay, KICK IT!". I really can't describe the awesomeness of this moment as he fries every enemy to oblivion from the bass-boosted energy blasts of his Bass Cannon. The blue colored energy blast homed in on every enemy and killed each of them one by one. The blasts also hit the cave walls, completely shredding them from existence and revealing a whole village of diamonds. Starbass then powered off his Bass Cannon and blew on it saying, "Code that shit Notch."

Prince's Viewpoint

"Run! FUCKING RUN FASTER!" Prince screamed at his computer screen as he was being chased by the creepers.

"I guess this is the end, it was a good game." Prince said losing hope. "BUT WAIT! I STILL HAVE MY SECRET WEAPON! MY NOT-STOPPER! HUZZAH!" Prince fist-pumped. Prince then got into a running stance and screamed out "I CAN'T STOP!", a heavy bass dropped and he ran fast as hell through every mob, pushing them with great force out of his way. He didn't know however, that Starbass was coming in the same direction and him, and he was using the Bass Cannon as his rocket. The collision was gonna be so fucking close......

AND THEN! A CHICKEN GOT IN THE WAY OF THE BLAST! That was basically him saying, "FUCK MY LIFE!"

"So, how much diamond did you find?" Prince asked.

Starbass then showed him the ass load of diamonds he found.

"How much meat did you get?" I asked.

"So much it'd make KFC look like a bunny." Prince bragged showing off his meat acquirement.

"I think that was enough for today, I'm gonna....go......use that bottle of lotion...." Prince said ashamed.

"I'm gonna go, play some Dream Fortress 2." I replied.

"Um....isn't yesterday today now?" I asked.

Both of our eyes popped out of our heads. We then busted down the door in freedom.

"FREEEEEEDOM!" I screamed.

"I CAN FUCK AGAIN!" Prince screamed.

[HUZZAH!]

I quickly ran to Vinyl's house.

"Hello? Vinyl? You okay?" I asked.

"What happened? I woke up floating on the Moon and I had to form a bubble around my head or I would've died!"

I had three options here.

A. Tell the truth.

B. Lie like a pussy.

C. REPENT!

I just chose B.

"Um....maybe Luna wanted company?" I lied.

"Hmmmmm.............I must expand, but first, why is there pain where my...area is?" Vinyl asked.

"Period?" I replied in thought.

5 seconds later

Prince was at his house taking a crap. Then I crashed through the wall quoting, "I just took a bass drop to the knee." Then I blacked out.