Anon E. Muss, No Longer Lost | Wedding Venue

By the time Anon found his way out of the Mines, whatever had happened with the Wedding and their confrontation, had already happened. They were in the clean-up phase; and honestly, Anon didn't feel like he missed out on much. Ponies and their fights got messy and weird with magic involved.

Disgruntled Ponies roamed around. There was a decent bit of damage, but it was already quickly being repaired, Guards patrolling the area while guests recovered, and workers tried to quickly patch things up.

He's almost stopped and hassled as he crawls out of one of the Changelings secret tunnels, finally content to see proper light again; but Pinkie just so happens to be bounding around the area, earning him a pass at her vouch; and after a quick Pinkie-Are-You-Really-Anon-Test. Spoiler, he was, in fact, himself.

Over the next couple of hours, the wedding is quickly re-assembled, Cadance getting to actually walk through the setup to her own Wedding, sham as it may be. She was finding some fun out of it, as were the Elements she was interacting with, now that they actually had the right Princess. Maybe getting to wrest her own wedding from vile, Changeling clutches helped make the whole affair a little more... fun?

Cadance was far too busy now, recovering and re-finalizing the last-minute changes to the Wedding, so he didn't bother her. Though she did smile at him as they passed in the hall, so that was nice. New now-and-then seen friend, or something. Anon didn't really see himself visiting the Crystal Empire all that often, so... chalk it up to a good experience, and back to cramping Twilight's couch.

Anon sat comfortably on a nearby bench, overlooking the view. His bandana had been retired following his grueling escape of the underground, laid to rest; and now here he sat, a free confectionary from Pinkie in hand. Sprinkle Muffin, to help the post-kidnap blues.

He would've preferred coffee, but he also didn't like saying no to free things. Oh well.

Nearing hoofsteps draw him from his fantasies of stopping the entire attack himself, in a very macho last stand, as Twilight plops herself onto the bench beside him.

She looks... conflicted.

"Hey Twi." Anon nods. "Thought you'd be busier re-planning the Wedding; too busy to see lil ol' me."

"...Thanks. For believing me." She sighs, staring outward over the grassy, distant fields. No more shield bubble, no more obscured view. Far, far in the distance, Ponyville was still visible; the home he'd return to, probably in... a day? They were planning to just run the wedding again in a few hours, so no-ponies schedules would get too messed up.

"...I'd be stupid not to?" Anon raises an eyebrow. "What're you thanking me for? You know your Brother, and your old Sitter."

"...Tell that to the Girls. Or Celestia." She huffs.

Ooh, Anon's eyes widen. Twilight -- She didn't say Princess. She always says Princess. Always.

Twilight was PISSED.

Pursing his lips, Anon shifts to the usual; as sole, emotionally 'mature' Human of Equestria, his Therapeutic Pony Doctor mode engages. Twilight finds herself promptly grabbed, and placed on Anon's lap, like a cat; and the sprinkle cupcake shoved in her mouth.
"Anon --" She sputters the cupcake out, frowning. "I'm not here for one of your--"

His hands begin to massage her back, and she melts. Foolish Ponies. The true villain of these lands was Anon; with opposable thumbs, he could reach their itchiest spots, no tricks or magic. No Pony could resist his grasp. Lucky for them, he was a benevolent sort, content to naps and low-sugar foods. Seriously, these Ponies ate too much sugar. It was a miracle diabetes wasn't a rampant health issue.

"Too bad. Anyway -- explain." He goads, teasing a thumb between her shoulder blades. This was a surprisingly common position for them, Twilight and Anon. Purple Sparkle-Butt was a little Pony with a lot of big Pony thoughts. Like Taxes, and how to avoid them; or being upset with her Teacher over why certain schools of magic were banned.

Or in this case, how her friends besmirched her and her warnings about the entire Wedding.

Twilight groans, then sighs.
"...Nobody else believed me, and even Celestia... she just said that this was a lesson in trusting my instincts. After they all made me feel like I was... just jealous. Being cruel to Cadance, for stealing away my brother, or something. That feels like such a-- a--" She stutters, trying to find the words in frustration.

"A Cop-Out. She was wrong, and is trying to cover her ass?" Anon offers. A little spicy, but --

"Yes!" Twilight retorts, slumping back across his legs.

"...You know, your role model blasted her sister to the moon for a thousand years, because she got jealous of the attention. There's a small chance Princess Celestia might not have the best grasp on emotions." Anon warns, dipping a little into his personal vault of knowledge on Tia. His very aloof nature had kindled with her own, giving him a... unique viewing window into the Sunlight Princess. Partially because they got along enough, that Celestia would open up to him; mostly because he snuck into the forbidden section of the Library every time they visited Canterlot, and Anon was a fierce snooper. They had no secrets against him.

"...What do you mean?" Twilight asks, shifting to look at his face.

"I think... you should have a Big Pony sit down with Celestia, and explain to her how you feel. How this situation made you feel, and don't let her write it away with an attempt at a lesson. She didn't trust you; and she was wrong. A mentor isn't always right; they impart their knowledge and wisdom, but the student teaches the mentor, too. You said the other girls weren't there for you, either?" Anon explains, before twisting to a question.

"...Yeah. They just wanted the wedding to go well. They thought I was... jealous, that I was losing my brother." Twilight explains. "That me kicking up a fuss would just ruin their participation in the whole event."

"The... brother you already barely saw?" Anon asks, semi rhetorically.

"...Yeah." Twilight nods, somber.

"Well, for them; you should tell them to fuck off and to apologize." Anon shrugs.

Twilight blinks hard, looking at him. A bit... of a different approach than with Celestia.

"Little different then with your Mentor, who made a mistake and is... approaching it poorly. While she needs help being corrected to what you actually need out of her; your friends kind of... did you dirty. They upset you, didn't consider your feelings, and even slung an accusation back at you because they wanted their side of things to go well. When this is over, talk to them about it. Let them know you don't appreciate what they did, and how it hurt you. That kind of thing. You've got the friendship thing down pretty solid; you girls will figure it out." Anon affirms, giving her mane a little tussle.

"...Are you sure you weren't the Element of Friendship on your world?" Twilight teases, grinning.

"With the shit I said to people online? Ha." Anon snorts. "Actually, how is your brother handling things? Him and Cadance seemed to take a pretty hefty hit from this whole thing, and they're still rolling with it? I thought they'd redo the whole thing in a week, or some shit."

"...Me too, honestly. Cadance was in the prison for a while, and Chrysalis had Shining under control for a while. So, they might be... a little off, but they both want what's best for Equestria and the Crystal Empire. Even if that means... well, you know, sticking through with this. But yes, Shining is feeling better, now that Chrysalis is out of his head, and he doesn't have to focus on maintaining the barrier. Her control was subtle, up until now, so his headaches only got worse recently." Twilight explains, Anon nodding along, actually fairly interested.

"You Ponies sure bounce back quick, huh?" He wonders aloud, giving Twi a look herself. Despite the whole fiasco, and a few scuffs on her own bridesmaid apparel from tussling with Changelings, she looked about raring to go. Well, not emotionally.

"I could say the same for you, Anon; you hardly seem bothered you got kidnapped and held by Changelings." Twi teases back.

"If Cadance can treat it like it's no big deal, I can survive having been dragged around and left in a Cell for fifteen minutes. Not like I didn't have someone to gossip with the whole time, either." Anon blows a raspberry, shrugging.

"Now off with you; enjoy an actual, not actual wedding. Honestly, just go hang out with Cadance. I think she needs the friend right now, and you're a pretty heavy shoe-in for someone she'd actually want to see." Anon snorts, placing her back on the ground.

Twilight trots in place for a moment, turning to look at him.
"...How did you end up with Cadance in the Prison, anyway?"

"Oh, started snooping when you told me something was up, sneaking my way around the Castle. Got caught, obviously, but -- worth it, though. Had a good gossip session. I can see why you two get along." Anon grins, leaning back.

"She's... really appreciative of the talk you had with her, Anon. She wanted to thank you, but she's a little busy." Twilight informs.

"Well duh, it's a wedding. And she's the bride. If you see her, tell her we're good buddies now or something, and that she can write me. Now off with you, go hang with your Sister-In-Law-To-Be." Anon shoos, waving his hands at the purple pony.

Twilight grins, nuzzles his leg, and darts off, bounding excitedly. Therapy mode disengage, back to shitty thoughts.

Anon slumps back in his seat, blowing a raspberry. Wonder if Rarity could make him a sneaking suit. Actually, maybe Anon should have a talk with Celestia, too.

...Nah, that takes effort. He crumples up the wrapper, chucking it vaguely at the nearest bin. It's not even close.

The Wedding, this time, went without a hitch. Shining and Cadance were wed, to a fanfare that went uninterrupted by Changelings, from cheers of various visiting Ponies and Nobles, Elements and Princesses. Anon was there, too; he was in the back, but, he had a pretty good view. Most ponies only came up to his waist. Cadance and Luna came up to his chest, and Celestia nearly came up to his eyes. Well, up on the wedding stand, she towered over him now.

Cadance and Shining held themselves well; to the untrained, unsuspecting eye, their quick kiss and proud smiling were simply the results of a tiring day, thwarting evil. To say this whole event roused the Crystal Ponies mood would be an understatement.

During the following reception, Anon could see Twilight speaking privately to Celestia, off to the side. Celestia had a concerned face, but Twilight looked firm, standing her ground. Good for you, Purple.

Anon saw Ponk dishing out cake. He kept a wide, wide berth of that, trying to avoid any surplus sugars. His efforts got him to bump into Shining, startling them both; mostly in how that was even possible, with how hard Anon stuck out in the crowd.

"Oh -- Oh! Anon! Good to, uh... see you." Shining says awkwardly. They hadn't actually even gotten to speak this entire Wedding without Shining being under Chrysalis' control, and in the middle of a packed wedding reception hardly made it the most comfortable situation to chat.

"Hey Shining. You holding up good, bud?" Anon fields softly; he wouldn't rib the guy too bad, not after what they'd just gone through. And he was a pretty solid brother to Twilight from what Anon had heard. They didn't get too many chances to interact, Captain of the Guard keeping him busy. Like... once or twice, at a family dinner.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm alright. Better now." He nods quickly, though squints in response. Brain probably still a little tingly.

"Bet you've been asked that a few dozen times now, huh." Anon huffs, getting a weak chuckle from the Stallion.

"Yep." Shining groans. "I appreciate the concern, but... I kind of just want this over with."

Shinings eyes widen, and he quickly looks back up to Anon.
"N-not that I want my Wedding to e-end early or anything! This is great! It's the --"

Anon holds Shining's snout shut with a finger and thumb. Leaning down, he gives him a very, very obvious wink, shushing him quietly.

"I know. And I mean, I KNOW know. Don't bother asking how, but don't worry, I get it. You need me to cause a little ruckus or something, give you or Cadance a few minutes of peace, lemme know." Anon affirms softly, letting him go. Normally, he enjoyed just being a shitwad; but Twi, and by extension her family, were a soft spot. Treated him real well. So he actually bundled up what few good-person-points he had, and offered them up.

This seems to surprise Shining, whose wide eyes stare at his for a long moment. Then, a long sigh of relief.
"...I didn't know you were that good at picking things out like that, Anon. Must be that whole Anti-Magic thing you've got going on that I heard about, huh? You haven't, uh... told anypony, right?" Shining asks quietly, his tone lighter now.

Anon shakes his head, lips pursed. Rule one of The Girls. Do not oust The Girls.

"Okay. Thanks. I don't know how you got so good at figuring things out like that, but... I appreciate it. A lot. I wish we got more time to chat, honestly. Like, before this." Shining adds, visibly relaxing a surprising amount, puffing his chest out a bit less.

"Eh, catch me at the next Sparkle Family dinner, we'll go... I dunno, bowling or something. Sound good?" Anon shrugs, grinning. "I bet your Sister's got a hankering to say hi, though. When's the last time you two talked, without a bug in your brain?"

"Too long. Do you know where she is? I should talk to her, if there's a chance." Shining nods, glancing past Anon.

Anon thumbs behind himself, towards the doors out of the main function hall.
"Giving Big ol' Sunbutt a little deserved ribbing."

"...She's what?" Shining requests immediate clarification, blinking hard several times.

"Talk to Twilight, and she'll tell you all about it. Go on, git; I see some ponies who look vaguely like you making their way over. Distant relatives wanting to talk. I'll block 'em." Anon warns, spying a pair of Ponies who look suspiciously close to Shining and Twilight's parents, but not quite.

"Oh, Shit -- alright, thanks Anon. And, uh... thanks, for not saying anything, again. I really appreciate it."

Shining nods, pats Anon on the leg in passing, and bolts out of the hall as politely as he can. He should probably bug out, too. Ooh, maybe don't use that phrase for the next... month. Bug-Puns might get him cavity searched for suspicions of being a Changeling.

Something was odd, though. The situation was dicey, sure, but Shining seemed... way too relieved when Anon said he hadn't told anybody. And what was that about his lack of magic?

Anon mentally tucks that away for later, returning to the party.

Later, when the evening was in full swing and most Ponies were heading back from the ceremonies, Anon also saw Twilight getting a chance to speak to both Cadance and Shining, before they parted to Ponyville. Plenty of smiles, tight hugs, and surprisingly reassured looks between them all. He made sure to give that some space, but still waved when noticed. He hadn't expected all three of them to look at him so... positively, waving back.

It felt like he did a good deed or something today. Ew.

The mood on the train ride back was, absolutely, better than it was before; but it still wasn't great. Anon was good at sussing out odd feelings, and things were... a touch awkward, in the train car.

On the way back to Ponyville, the group seemed a little more... fractured, than usual. Normally Anon sat a few seats down so he could sprawl out, but now Twilight sat with him, away from the other girls, who themselves sat in little fractured groups. Flutters and Pinkie, Dash by herself, Rarity and AJ... Odd, but not unusual considering what Twilight had told them. Probably one of the rougher patches of their friend group.

Anon shrugs. They'd work it out, and he'd been a good enough person today. Time for something selfish. Instead of trying to help solve their friend-group problems, Anon instead relents to petting Twilight's Mane, despite her weak protests, which quickly melt into content hums. They never could resist.

1 Week Later | Twilight's Library

Anon snorts awake, nudged by a purple hoof. He's been crashing with Twilight since his arrival in Equestria, and today was no different.

An unbothered Anon elected to stay, rather than trying to cop a job and pretend like things were normal. Twilight, pleased to have a new friend that wasn't pissed at her for dumping him in her world, gave Anon his own room; it used to be a storage room, and basically still was, with several boxes surrounding the mattress in the middle of the little room.

She also paid for most of his shit, since he didn't have a job that wasn't just favor-trading with the locals. He'd feel bad, but she was on "The Princesses' Favorite" Payroll, so he was actually spending taxpayer money. And that made it funny, and entirely okay.

Anon did not mind his little room, the lack of a job or a proper income; instead, currently knocked out on one of his favorite spots. The couch. Anon could knock out just about anywhere, on any furniture or surface, in anyone's abode. He's slept on Rarity's loungers, in Applejacks barn -- so on. If he could sleep on clouds, he would. A master of lazy.

Anon was heavily tolerated around Ponyville, for his blunt insights that helped circumvent a lot of the problems that occurred around here.

Its been a week since the wedding. Anon, Spike and Twilight have been hanging out for most of it. The relationship with the others was... a touch dicey, still. Rarity and Applejack apologized, but with the entire group still iffy, they hadn't quite reformed yet. Dash was stubborn and didn't see a reason to apologize. Pinkie, who didn't see the issue, still offered apologies. Twilight was iffy about so easily accepting them, and wanted Pinkie to stew a little longer. Flutters had closed herself off out of guilt, hiding in her house.

Overall, not great. But, Ponies. They'd figure it out. Anon had already played Therapist for half of the group about the situation. Rarity genuinely did get overexcited and just missed the cues. Applejack thought Twilight was just being... a lot, and felt really bad about it. Dash was a dipshit. The rest would come around later.

He blinks, rubbing his eyes as he focuses in, remembering he's being woken up. An expert nappist, Anon had been refueling from doing nothing, so he could head out and do nothing. Instead, Twilight is holding a letter in front of his face, glowing with her magics as it hovers.

"What'd I do now..?" Anon grumbles, sitting up.

"What? Nothing. Just read it, Anon." Her tone is... not flat. It's odd. It sounds like she wants to smile, but she's conflicted? Uh oh. That sounded like trouble.

He plucks it out of the air, squinting and stifling a yawn. He doesn't even need to crack the seal, snoopy Twilight already having helped herself to a peek.

Oh, a royal missive. He didn't get many of those, they were usually for Twilight and just involved a P.S at the bottom for him. Saved parchment, that way.

Oh, it's from the Crystal Empire. That's new. Their paper is... shinier in the light. Refracts pretty. Colorful. Anyway -- he should read it, Twilight's staring at him.

A Royal Invitation. Fancy. Those usually had dinner. Big, fancy dinner. He could eat. Though, his appetite fades as he actually reads the bulk of the letter.

"...To serve as The Crystal Empire's Royal Advisor. This exchange has already been approved by both Leaders of each Nation. A Train is being sent to collect you, so please pack your..." Anon says aloud, muttering by the end of it.

"...Did I just get a job?" He mumbles. Like, a real one? And not just coasting off of favors for being an unlicensed Pony Therapist?

Twilight hugs him, wrapping her hooves around him. It's a bit of an awkward angle, but not for a lack of effort.
"You did! For Princess Cadance! I'm... going to miss you, Anon." She sniffles.

"Damn, don't write me off so quickly, Spunkle. You been trying to get rid of me?" He teases. Twilight flinches back, abhorred. "You just want the couch back, don't you?"

"What?! No, I'm excited for you! Royal Advisor; that's an amazing position for you!" She exclaims. "...But I would like to actually get to use my own couch."

"Too bad I'm taking it with me."

"Fat chance."

"I think you just want your room back, too." Anon sneers. Then, he sighs, accepting the grim reality. "...And I assume I can't say no?"

She looks at him, confused. Like, why would that even be an option? He figured as much. Princess want, Princess get.

Anon shakes his head. Welp.
"...When does the train arrive?"

"Fifteen minutes!" Twilight affirms, already floating his belongings down the stairs. "I've packed and organized your things into--"

A finger presses against her nose.
"Did you pack everything before you told me?" Anon scolds.

"...Maybe?" She grins sheepishly.

"You DO WANT ME GONE!" Anon shouts, leaping from the couch. Twilight flusters, trying to corral the rowdy Anon with his own luggage.

"No! I-I'm going to miss you, so I'm trying to help! I just--I don't want to stop talking to you, like I did with my brother." She huffs suddenly, dejected.

Anon slows, blowing a raspberry. These Ponies were always so deep in their feelings.
"Well, we can always write, or whatever. Or visit. Plus, I wouldn't mind a guide getting there for the first time."

Twilight perks up.
"...I could come with you! For a little bit. To get you settled! Would that be okay? Spike could watch the Library -- but you're alright with that?" She begins to ramble, excitedly trotting in place.

"Okay to me, Twunkle. Hurry up, right? We leave soon." Anon nods, stretching.

There we go. Twilight loved getting her hooves all over other peoples plans; that should keep her content.

...Royal Advisor. Anon purses his lips, watching Twilight dart around the Library, now packing her own things, yelling for Spike, who peers down from upstairs, lured by the commotion.

Why did he have a feeling this wasn't quite so clear-cut?

He holds the letter up again.

The bulk of the letter is professional, but... oh, there. At the bottom. A little hoof-written addition.

"Despite the odd situation for our first interaction, it was a delight meeting you; thank you for all of your hope. For both myself, and my dear Sister-In-Law. Your unique skillset in managing Emotions has reminded me of our conversation, deep below Canterlot. I hope that you are willing to upkeep the offer you had made; as it would be dutifully appreciated, Mister Anon E. Muss. You come highly recommended, and I believe we... shared a moment that night. I believe we have much to discuss, if you find yourself willing. Please, even if you do not wish to partake in the duty; come visit. We would love to host you." Anon trails off, mumbling to himself.

...Why was that so foreboding? That felt a lot more loaded than it read. Was that a Princess of Love thing?

His danger senses are tingling. Usually, that's when he's about to get ambushed by Ponkie (Pinkie, Obviously) or Dipshit (Dash, More Obviously).

He purses his lips, recalling the evening they spent in the cell, the long gossipy talk. The ensuing Wedding.

...She had been staring at him. A lot. Well, in the prison, she didn't have much else to look at.

Though she did stare in his direction a lot during the actual coronation.

Anon shrugs. He was a big funny naked monkey in clothes. Everyone stares. It should be fine. Right?

It didn't feel like it was that simple.

Anon finds a purple swirl of magic tugging at his shirt, Twilight by the door.
"Come ON Anon! If I'm your guide, then you're on Twi-Time! And we will NOT be late to meet my new Sister in Law!" She beams; also holding all of their luggage.

...She had a pretty good grip on him. It used to just be the Alicorns. Was her magic getting stronger? Her whole thing was magic. Wouldn't be surprised if she was... a magic prodigy, or an upcoming Alicorn. Was that a thing?

Anon shrugs, waving to Spike as he's dragged out the Library; the Crystal Train is already waiting in the station, staffed by guards as they approach.

Author's Note