Apple Hospitality

You spend the next few days planning and preparing various pieces of lumber. Despite saying it would be slow, Applejack apparently still had a lot of work to do on the farm, so you've mostly been alone, figuring out exactly what you want to do. Occasionally she or Apple Bloom would come in to see what you're up to, but they never stayed long, either having chores to do or just plain getting bored.

Eventually you settled on improving a machine Applejack said is used to water the fields, thinking it seems like something they'll need to use a lot. It's big, unwieldy, looks uncomfortable to push, and is tedious to repair to boot. You have big plans so far.

In the middle of sketching and writing your ideas, the barn doors open and you are a bit surprised to see this time it's Big Mac. You set down your tools as he approaches.

"Time for work."

"Alrighty, lead on."

The two of you walk in silence to one of the smaller fields and you see Applejack and Apple Bloom standing nearby, waiting expectantly. As you approach, you recognize it as the grape field and Applejack nods her head in greeting. You walk up to her and Big Mac just continues trotting, leaving you there.

Applejack turns to you, "Now Granny's in town for some errands an' me an' Big Mac got work elsewhere on the farm, but these 'ere grapes need harvestin', an' I ain't havin' Apple Bloom do it all on her lonesome, so lemme show you want to do an' you'll help her out today."

"Sounds like fun."

You smile at Apple Bloom and she grins shyly back at you. You turn back to Applejack and she continues, "It's pretty simple, bein' honest. Just take these 'ere snips, cut off bunches of grapes all together, an' put 'em in these baskets. Try an' snip as close to the grapes as ya can, don't leave a big stem danglin' off the end of the bunch."

She nods over at a pair of baskets that hook over a pony's barrel, "Apple Bloom'll carry the baskets back and forth to the farmhouse where we'll finish up with 'em later." She turns back to you, "Your hands are fast enough you oughta get these bunches real simple, an' Apple Bloom's gettin' mighty strong these days, so she could prolly carry these baskets around all day if she wanted to."

Apple Bloom gives a little snort and stomps a hoof, "Shore could!"

It's too cute and you can't help but grin. Applejack ruffles her mane, then looks back to you, saying, "This way I think y'all're both doin' something you're well suited for. Any questions?"

"Nah, seems pretty straightforward."

"Alrighty, I'll see y'all in a couple hours, then!"

Half an hour later, Apple Bloom has hardly spoken, even though she just sits around for a few minutes doing nothing while you fill the next bin for her to take. Cutting these grapes off is really boring and you'd like some conversation, so you decide to ask her questions about herself, hoping she'll open up a bit.

As she trots up with the latest empty bin, you turn to her and say, "So, Apple Bloom... what exactly are the crusaders?"

"Oh, uh..." She wiggles out from under the bin before continuing, "Well, 'fore we got our cutie marks, me, Sweetie, an' Scoots would do anything 'n everythin' we could think of to try an' figure out what they'd be."

"And now that you have them?"

"Now we go 'round an' help anypony we can find with cutie mark troubles an' help 'em understand what their cutie mark's 'sposed to mean."

You furrow your brows, "Can't they figure that out themselves?"

She shoots you an adorable glare she probably intended to look angry, "No! Well, not always at least. Some ponies have marks that're real, uh... marks that ain't obvious, an' they don't know what to do with 'em."

"You ever help older ponies?"

She shakes her head, "Bulk Biceps had a real quick an' simple problem with his mark, but not really. We ain't found nopony much older'n us who needs help like we give to fillies and colts." She tilts her head in thought, "Well, unless ya count 'fore we even got our cutie marks. We helped this stallion named Trouble Shoes with his cutie mark..."

She trails off and you toss one last bunch of grapes into the basket, then she shimmies under it and trots away.

A few moments later, she trots up with an empty bin and immediately asks, "Hey Anon, what's yer cutie mark?"

You smile, glad she's opening up a little, then shake your head, "Humans don't get cutie marks. I think they're magical in nature and humans don't have any magic."

"Really!? Well this world's chock full of magic--since yer here, maybe one day you'll get a cutie mark too!"

You hadn't thought of that. "Hmm... do any other creatures besides ponies get cutie marks here?"

She thinks for a moment, then her face falls. "No... I guess Zecora has some kinda weird lookin' cutie mark, but aside from that, I ain't never seen a cutie mark on nothin' but a pony before."

You shrug and say, "'Sokay. Can't miss what I never had, right?"

"'Spose not..."

You both continue working in silence for some time. Eventually Apple Bloom speaks up again, sounding a bit nervous.

"...Anon?"

"Yes, Apple Bloom?"

"Since ya came here to Equestria, d'you, uh... miss yer folks back home?"

The question catches you off guard and you hesitate, snips about to close around a grape vine. You inhale slowly, try to relax, and turn to smile again at Apple Bloom. "Oh, not really. I just try not to think about 'em."

She tilts her head questioningly, "Ya don't never think about yer family?"

"Nope. I'm stuck here, aren't I? No point thinking about people I'll never see again."

"Ah... guess that makes sense..." She shakes her head, "But still! Ya must miss 'em at least a bit, right?"

You sigh and slump slightly, "Look, can we just not talk about this?"

"So ya do miss 'em!"

"...Huh?"

"Else ya wouldn't mind talkin' 'bout 'em!"

You rub your eyes, "That's... no, I just don't want--"

"If ya miss 'em so bad, maybe Twilight knows a spell to let you see 'em?"

You grimace, cutting through a bunch of grapes and tossing them into the nearly-full basket with more force than strictly necessary, "No, it's alri--"

"Or maybe," she interrupts, "Maybe she's workin' on a way to return ya! Ah bet she is, since it's her fault yer here, an' all."

You groan. She's probably right and you definitely don't want to go back. You'll have to convince Twilight to stop.

"Or maybe she could bring 'em here! I'd love to meet yer--"

"No."

You spoke quietly, but something in your tone makes Apple Bloom stop dead and stare at you.

"Huh?"

You rub your eyes again, "Just... trust me. You don't want to meet them." You sigh, knowing you have no choice but to explain further now. "My family was very mean, Apple Bloom."

Her ears droop, "Gosh, really? Is that why ya don't think about 'em? They was so mean ya don't even miss 'em?"

You nod grimly, somewhat regretting this conversation.

"Oh Anon... didn't ya at least have some friends or somethin'?"

With a shake of your head, you say, "Most everyone I met either didn't like me or I didn't like them."

"But... yer so nice! How could anypony see you an' not wanna be friends?"

"Yeah... the world I come from isn't always nice."

She pauses thoughtfully, "Well... neither is this world, ah reckon. We got dragons an' changelings an' whatever's in the Everfree Forest... an' all kinds a monsters in Tartarus. That don't mean we can't make friends."

"But ponies are almost always good people, right? There's only a tiny number of mean, hurtful ponies, right?"

"Yeah," she says, "Diamond Tiara used to be real mean, an' ah heard Starlight Glimmer an' Trixie have done some awful things..."

"Yeah, so imagine if half of everypony you knew was like that--if half of everypony in Equestria was lazy, greedy, selfish, and mean."

She gasps, "That's what yer home is like!?"

You chuckle grimly and toss one more bunch of grapes into the basket, "Okay, well... maybe not quite that bad, but it sure felt like it sometimes." You sigh heavily, "Bad people are louder and easier to notice than good people, so it can seem like there's a lot more than there really are."

Apple Bloom just stares at you, ears limp, mouth slightly open, seeming lost in thought. Then she slowly shimmies under the basket and trots away.

When she returns, she sets the empty basket down, steps up next to you, and pokes your side with a hoof as you squat by the grapevines. You turn to her, a question on your lips, when she lurches forward and wraps her tiny hooves around your waist.

The impact throws you off balance and you sit heavily on the ground.

"Wha--"

"Ah'm glad yer here in Equestria, Anon. Ah hope you'll be happy here."

You pause awkwardly, unsure what to do, then you gently place a hand on the back of the filly's head and stroke her mane.

"Alright," you say, "Now lift!"

Applejack heaves and raises the thick wooden beam into place. You move the vertical supporting beam into the slot you cut and it slides in with a satisfying THUNK. You hammer a couple nails in place, then you both step back to admire your work.

You'd finally managed to work out a decent design implementing your improvements to the watering pusher. This new one is lighter, holds more water, is more comfortable to push, has a glass rod in the front of the tank so you can see how full it is if you look over your shoulder while pushing, and certain high-wear parts like wheels can be quickly and easily replaced.

Between your days off, days doing actual farm work with Apple Bloom, and days lost to failed trial-and-error runs, it's been about two weeks all told.

"Gotta say Anon, I'm impressed."

"Thanks, AJ. But remember, I didn't invent this stuff. I'm just copying what I remember from machines other humans made back home."

"Still," she says, "Credit where it's due: ya done some fine work 'ere." She pushes on the chest-shaped mold you added to the push-bar and the machine rolls easily. "Lets fill 'er up and see how it performs."

You follow her as she rolls it out the barn door and down to the river, where a crude water wheel pours out of a tall spigot specifically designed to refill these watering machines.

While waiting, Applejack steps close to you and say, "If this water pusher does half as well as I expect an' you can improve every machine this much, I reckon we could put out fifty percent more produce next year, easy. Honestly, I'm really lookin' forward to more of your work."

She pauses and looks like she's going to say something else, but stops herself. You've been noticing her doing that a lot lately.

"AJ... are you alright?"

She looks a bit startled, "Huh?"

"It's just... we've been spending a lot of time together and I've noticed sometimes you seem... uncomfortable. Like maybe you're afraid of saying the wrong thing to me. I'd like you to stop worrying and just be honest with me."

"Oh, uh... well. That's, uh..." She looks abashed and coughs awkwardly, "Anon, um, how much d'you know about... mares?"

You raise an eyebrow, "Not much, honestly. Only what I've learned since I came here."

"Oh..." She sighs, then looks down and mumbles to herself, "Well how the hay do I even say this...?"

You step closer, kneel beside her, and lift her chin with a knuckle so she looks back up at you. Her cheeks immediately turn a bright pink.

"Hey," you say gently, "I just wanted to make sure you're okay. I'm not trying to pry or anything." You smile and move your hand to the side of her neck, scratching gently, "If you're okay, that's all I need to know. No pressure, aight?"

Her blush deepens and she takes a step back, saying, "Uh... I-It's full now. Let's see how good this... this doohickey works."

Positioning herself, she heaves on the water pusher and it slowly rolls forward. With her muzzle, she flips a lever you installed and water begins flowing onto a spinning disc attached to the wheels, flinging water in a short arc behind the machine. As she picks up speed, so does the spinning disc and it flings a fine mist over a wide area.

"So?" You ask anxiously.

She grunts and presses against the side of the chest mold, slowly turning the pusher around. She executes a couple more turns, then slows, coming off the chest mold and pressing her rump against the rear bar to slow the machine.

As it comes to a stop, she hops out of the machine and trots happily in place, "Hooey! This 'ere's better than an eight bit candied apple! Why, it weighs less all full of water than the old machine weighed when it was empty, an' the front push bar is WAY more comfortable!"

You whoop and fist pump triumphantly.

"Imma go water the celery," she continues, "Go find Big Mac and tell him to come look, I think he'll appreciate this."

You salute, "Yes ma'am!"

"I told ya to quit that!" She sticks out a tongue and reaches up to buck you with a forehoof, but you jog away, laughing."

You find Big Mac inspecting one of the apple trees and approach him coolly.

"Hey big guy."

He turns to face you.

"We finished the water pusher. You should come check it out, I think you'll like it. Well, AJ says you'll like it. She's heading to the celery field."

"Alright."

You look up at the tree he was harvesting and ask, "How long before next harvest?"

"Few days."

"Cool, cool."

He stares at you expectantly.

"So, uh... I wanted to talk to you about AJ."

He just nods.

"She's been acting strange recently."

He nods again.

"I... don't quite know what to make of it. I asked her if anything was wrong a moment ago, and she kinda stumbled over her words, didn't seem to know what to say. I just told her not to worry and she doesn't need to talk about it if she doesn't want to."

You cringe and rub your neck awkwardly, finishing with, "I'm not crazy, right? Not just imagining it?"

"Nope."

"Alright, well... I know you're not much for talking, so just tell me if everything's okay or if I need to be worried."

"...She's okay."

"Oh okay, good."

"But y'all should probably be worried, too."

"...Wait, huh?"

Big Mac sighs and sits on his haunches, "I'm a guessin' ya don't know much 'bout pony biology, but once a year, mares go into heat an' their bodies prepare to mate."

Your eyes widen.

"So she's..."

"Nope. Least, not yet, but it's a comin' soon. 'Nother week or so an' she'll start takin' some medicine to keep it in check." He looks away awkwardly, "It... ain't really a problem, she'll just get mood swings an' be more sensitive to touch, so try an' avoid any unneeded contact."

You're beginning to feel quite nervous, "But... I shouldn't have to worry, right? I'm no... uh, no stallion."

His ears twitch and you hurriedly speak again, feeling incredibly awkward, "Oh god, I'm sorry. I know this much be so weird to talk about your sister like this, I just..."

You trail off an huff, frustrated at your lack of words. Big Mac hesitates, his ears folding back, then he grimaces.

"Since y'all work so close together, you'll have a hard time avoidin' touchin' her an' that might, uh... 'excite' her."

You shake your head, anxious butterflies in your stomach.

"Okay... okay, no, this is fine." You rub the back of your head awkwardly, "I'll just, uh... we'll just work like normal and everything will be okay. I won't touch her, easy." You begin to pace nervously, "I won't touch her when I'm measuring her to make machines or helping her lift a machine part into place or helping her load and unload produce or working the fields with her or helping her teach Apple Bloom or eating dinner or-or..." You stop suddenly and turn with wide eyes, "Oh god, this isn't okay! Mac! What do I do!?"

Startled, he rears up and neighs, "Whoa! Calm, friend!"

You slump to the ground and take a few heavy breaths before saying, "Mac... the hell am I supposed to do? I couldn't even handle human girls back home... I can't handle this!"

Big Mac grins sheepishly, "Ain't gotta get that worked up about it... Maybe Twilight can help."

The next morning you tried stopping by Twilight's Castle, only to learn from her pupil Starlight Glimmer that she's out of town and won't be back until at least tomorrow morning, so you're on your own for now. You considered asking one of AJ's other friends, but you didn't really know any of them very well yet, and of course you couldn't ask AJ herself after directly telling her she didn't need to tell you."

Fortunately, the next few days were pretty uneventful.

You hardly even saw Applejack and were mostly left to work on your next experiment in the barn. The next harvest coming up is barley, so at first you thought of maybe trying to build a harvester, but you figured that was a little too ambitious for now. Instead, you decided to improve their scythe. The current design was simply held in the jaw and swung like a hand-held sickle back home. You've been working on one that loops over a pony's neck and hooks around their shoulders, which they can swing around with a handle clamped in their muzzle. The main handle can have its length adjusted by squeezing a grip to release the lock and sliding the handle up or down to suit larger or smaller ponies. The movement required to swing it should be similar to the large double-handed scythes back home and ought to be much more effective.

You'd tried to get Big Mac in to test it, but by the time you finished your prototype, Applejack had apparently finished whatever she'd been up to the past couple days and leapt at the idea.

Thus, you find yourself alone in the barn with Applejack like many times before... of course, now, you're all nervous around her.

Lost in your thoughts, you jump at Applejack's voice, "Anon? You alright, partner?"

"Oh! Uh, Yeah! Here, let's try it out."

She eyes the oddly shaped pile of wood, rope, and blade, and asks, "How's this thing even work?"

You slip the loop over your head, tucking the wooden hooks around your shoulders, and grab the handle at approximately the distance your mouth would be if you were a pony.

"Stand back. I probably should have waited, but I've already sharpened the blade."

Once she steps away, you use your whole body to throw the large scythe around. It swings back and then forward in a quick cut over a huge arc, easily five times the size of the old scythe, and with less effort, too.

Applejack's eyes go wide, "Whoa nelly, Anon, that looks great! C'mon, lemme try!"

You lift the scythe off your head and hold it up for her to step into. You really try not to touch her as you help her position her head within the loop, but the close proximity makes a few bumps unavoidable. Fortunately, Applejack seems distracted and doesn't react.

In a moment, the scythe is in place, the length adjusted to fit her, and you quickly take several steps back. She grips the mouthpiece and you marvel at how easily she swings the scythe left and right, hardly even leaning into the effort.

"Good gravy, it's so easy to swing!" she says, after spitting out the mouthpiece, "Why, I could cut the whole field in a matter o' hours with this puppy!"

She wiggles out from the scythe, drops it to the floor, and suddenly she's standing upright in front of you, smiling broadly.

"I know it's yer job an' all, but... I just can't tell you how much I appreciate this!"

She pulls you into a rough hug. You awkwardly pat her shoulder and she pulls back, still standing and resting on your shoulders. Try as you might, you cannot help but glance down at her very exposed body.

Applejack tenses, seeming to realize what she's doing, then her ears fold back, she blushes fiercely, and she drops to all fours again.

"Aw shoot, I'm sorry, Anon. I know, I shouldn't do stuff like that..." she closes her eyes and shudders, "Really... shouldn't..."

She stands there panting lightly for a few seconds before looking at you sharply, "I, uh, gotta go talk to Granny!"

With that, she throws the barn door open and gallops full tilt towards the farm house. You follow her to the door and watch her go. In the field, Big Mac raises his head, looking worried, his powerful voice easily carrying the distance.

"AJ? WHAT'S WRONG!?"

"NOTHIN'!"

She shakes her head as she runs up and vanishes into the house. Big Mac canters over to you.

"What--"

"She just... hugged me. Fuck, man, she just jumped up and hugged me out of the blue! Then she got all flustered and galloped away."

He shakes his head and says, "Must be early. Stay here."

You stare after him glumly as he trots over to the farm house. After what feels like ages, Big Mac trots back in through the barn door.

"She took her medicine. She'll be fine tomorrow. You're done for today. Good work on the scythe; despite all this, she won't shush 'bout how amazing it is. G'night, Anon."

He immediately turns and trots away before you can respond. You take a few moments to digest your thoughts, then slowly walk down the path off the farm.

Halfway to the gate, Apple Bloom's little voice calls out from her treehouse, "Anon! Hey, where ya goin'?"

"Back home, I'm done for the day."

"So soon? Ya ain't stayin' for dinner?"

"No... something's up with Applejack, Big Mac called it a day."

"Ca... Called it a day!?"

She lets out a little whinny, then gallops over and skids to a stop before you. You squat to approach her eye level, which you've learned she seems to appreciate.

"Is she alright!?"

"Yeah, think so. Big Mac didn't seem worried, at least. Said she's on her medicine and I should go home now."

She relaxes and sits on her haunches, "Ohhh, her cycle must be early! Aw hay, that's nothin'. She'll just be grumpy sometimes an' real friendly other times." She looks down thoughtfully, "Ah hope she ain't too worried 'bout it though. This's her first time, after all."

"Wait, her first--"

Her head snaps back up to you, "Hey! Since yer free now, how 'boutcha come hang out with us?"

You think about it, then smile and ruffle her mane, trying to act more relaxed than you feel.

"Sorry Bloom, there's something I gotta do."

Her ears droop and she looks up at you with eyes so pitifully sad it's not even fair.

"Aw come on, don't do that to me! I'll hang out another day, I promise!"

She looks down and heaves a little sigh, "Oh alright..." Then she glares up at you cutely, "Ah won't forget ya promised, though!"

After taking an hour or so to relax and get a hold of your racing thoughts, you head to Twilight's Castle. As soon as you open the huge doors, you are teleported to her castle library, and Twilight greets you warmly as you stumble, hand to your head.

"Anon! Hey, how are you? How is the new job coming? I haven't seen you in at least a fortnite!"

You give her a lopsided smile as you try to regain your senses, "Ugh... can't you at least give a warning before teleporting me?"

She only giggles in response and you sigh.

"It's been going well, thanks Twi. You'd enjoy coming out and seeing what I've been doing."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah... since I'm not nearly strong enough for earth pony work, I've been redesigning their tools and machines instead. I've already made the water pusher a lot better to use, and just today I finished a new and improved scythe to harvest the barley."

"That's great, Anon! I'm so glad you're finally settling in. I was so worried when I saw how much trouble you had making friends in town."

"Yeah... we need to talk about that sometime, but, uh... right now I wanted to ask you about Applejack."

She looks to her side and, following her gaze, you realize Applejack is standing just a few feet to your left. Turns out it's easy to miss your surroundings when you get teleported.

"Oh, uh... hey, how you feeling?"

Applejack signs and lays down, "Guess I shoulda just told ya, huh?"

"Told me what?"

"Now don't be like that, I know full well Big Mac told ya what's going on."

You grimace, "Well... he told me a bit. I didn't want to push you after you got so flustered, but I was worried something might be wrong."

"That's sweet o' you, sugarcube... Twilight, can y'all explain? I don't, uh... really want to talk' bout it."

Twilight nods and looks back to you, "What do you already know?"

"More or less... nothing."

She beams and exclaims, "Okay! Pony estrus cycle 101, here we go!"

Applejack stands suddenly, "Yeah okay, I'm just gonna go. I can't sit 'here an' listen to ya tell Anon about this."

Twilight pops in front of her as she starts to walk away, "But Applejack, you should hear this too."

Applejack rolls her eyes, "C'mon Twilight. I may not be as educated as you, but y'all know as well as I that mares are taught all 'bout the cycle since they're fillies. Just explain to Anon so he knows what to expect. He's still gotta work after all." She grimaces, "'Sides, I ain't gonna sit here and listen to you explain how my marebits work to a stal--uh, man. That's just weird."

Twilight sighs, "Oh alright."

Applejack trots out of the room and, as Twilight turns back to you, you ask, "So wait, why do I even need to know this again?"

She trots back to her blackboard, "Well, this is Applejack's first cycle."

"Apple Bloom mentioned that... I thought AJ was older?"

She shakes her head, "She's several moons younger than Big Mac."

"Alrighty then... still doesn't explain why I need to know."

One of her ears flick, "Well, for one, you're probably stuck here for good, so you should really just learn about ponies in general, but I think more importantly, you should learn so you can help Applejack through this."

"Uh... help her?"

"Well, yeah! This is a tough time for a young mare! She'll need all the support she can get from her friends." Her tail swishes and she paws gently at the floor, "Obviously the girls and I will help as much as we can, but we have work of our own to do, so we can only be there so much." She points a hoof at you and grins, "But you'll be right there on the farm with her for most of the day, and I hear you two are getting along great! You'll be the perfect support!"

You rub your face, trying not to think about the implications, "...and why can't her family do this?"

She rolls her eyes, "Well, I'm sure they will, but come on, Anon. Granny sleeps most of the day and her other family members are a filly who's too young to really understand what's happening, and a stallion, who obviously won't be much help."

"And I suppose a man would be more help?"

Her ears flatten and she suddenly gives you a hard glare, "Anon, are you looking for an excuse or just being dense?"

You open your mouth but find no words, taken aback by her sudden bluntness. She just waits for a reply, tail swishing gently in agitation. You pause to gather your thoughts, then sigh.

"A bit of both, I guess? I still don't understand why you think I'm such a good choice for her support, but I'm also not exactly thrilled about the idea anyways."

Her gaze softens and she takes a step towards you, ears turning forward. "Anon, if you really don't want to do this, no one's going to make you... but I would like an explanation as to why."

You rub the back of your neck, "It just... it makes me uncomfortable, is all."

"What's so uncomfortable about it?"

"What's uncomfortable about being around a girl--er, mare that's in heat?"

She scrunches her muzzle, "Anon, you're not a stallion, you're a whole different species. Surely you aren't worried about what I think you're worried about."

You shrug sheepishly, "She's been acting pretty friendly--"

"Applejack is one of the friendliest ponies I know."

"No, it's uh... I mean, like... little gestures here and there, sly comments muttered under her breath, being... y'know, friendly. Real friendly."

Twilight pauses thoughtfully, then gives you a skeptical look, "Uh, really? Are you sure?"

Your shoulders slump and you stare at the ground, "Well, no, of course not, not really. Not like I'm real familiar on the intricate nuances of pony body language."

Twilight steps closer to you and say, "Look, Anon... I know you're nervous, but I don't think you need to worry about anything like that... at least, not yet."

You feel the tingle of her magic gently lift your chin so you look back at her.

"Even if you're right and maybe Applejack really does have a crush on you, she's way too cautious to act on something like that less than a month after you just met."

"But her heat--"

"--is almost entirely controlled by the herbal medicine we take for it. We're not animals, Anon. It's not like mares go into a sex-crazed madness and hop on any stallion they can find!" She blushes and giggles, "I mean, just imagine how messed up pony society would be if we did!"

You chuckle despite the awkwardness of the situation. "And without that medicine?"

Her blush deepens, "Well, it's still not that bad, but it can get pretty... distracting." She shakes her head and takes a step back, "But anyway, we're way off topic."

"Are we?"

She giggles, "Okay well, maybe not... but we are way off my checklist!"

You groan as a huge scroll floats up from behind her and she exclaims, "Pony Estrus Cycle 101!"