Chapter 4

The Tree House - Emphasis on Tree

“Hey. Tick.” A nudge. A harsh poke. A sigh.

“He’s out like a light. AJ, get some water from the sink.”

That is a voice I did not want to hear. Internally I groaned, trying to block out the noise as she continued trying to poke me awake.

I could hear the grind of metal followed by the rushing of water.

“I dunno about this sugarcube.”

“Daw, he ain’t gonna do nuthin. Maybe get red in the face but that's about it.”

I swear, on my auntie's grave, and on the many others, that I will kill her. I could understand prodding me awake, or yes, maybe doing a harmless shaving cream hand slap. I applaud her enthusiasm - But dear, it will take more than that to wake me.

So that's happened. It took two to tango, and just one of the two to pour the water. I was soaked instantly, the animals I assume that were on or around me, running away when the water splashed everywhere. Much to my chagrin, I heard two sets of laughter.

“Heheh. He's still asleep. Why… Is he still asleep?”

Because you wouldn't believe how many times someone has tried that trick. Worked the first few times, failed the rest. And it's because I'm tired you arrogant arsehole. Now leave.

“You could always ask him nicely to wake up.”

Pfft.

“Yeah, right. So, you expect me to say please?”

It would be a start. And would probably make my morning, just a little bit better. I waited in a silence before the voice of all bitchiness sighed,

“Please, wake up.”

… Must I? Ah crap… No… DON'T OPEN YOUR EY-

Fluttershy's house, I was on the couch, my chest and lower half was wet. I was not a happy camper at the moment.

“Rainbow Dash, Applejack. Oh dear god why. Did you think that was a good idea?”

I jerked my gaze to the left to see Skittles hovering lazily, a bored expression on her face,

“I was tired of poking you.”

“And so water was a choice.”

Dash shrugged, “At the time. Yes.”

I narrowed my eyes, “I outta shoot you.”

She raised her hooves, “Hey now, don't be like that. You'll dry…”

I sat up and showed her my dripping form.

“Eventually.” She added with a growing smile.

Oh…. Please let me smack a hoe and be done with it. Please. My guess was that these two jokesters… Applejack included, had something planned. After all, they did wake me up. Ah right, Twilight wanting to see me. I sighed through my nostrils and rubbed my face,

“What time is it? Feels early.” I took a peek out the window past Rainbow Dash, seeing that the sun had barely crested over the forest.

Applejack snorted and took the jug of wat- THEY USED A JUG?!? THAT THING'S BIGGER THAN MY CHEST!!

“It's about six. And a might’ walk to Twilights. We made sure you was up and on time.”

I nodded and shivered, “Yeah, and you probably wanted to make sure Fluttershy was alright.”

“Now what makes you think that?” Said Dash.

I crossed my arms and raised a brow, choosing to remain silent since that was a viable option. Applejack merely smirked and flicked her tail as she disappeared into the Kitchen,

“It’s all in good faith Sugarcube. Glad to see it wasn’t wasted on ya.”

“Making me feel real nice about myself.” I replied sourly, flicking my hands at the other bodyguard spraying water all over her. She in turn did what I assume was a ‘Fuck You’ minus the clenched fist.

I cracked my neck and sat up, the cold chill slowly creeping in. “Alright, Let me get dressed. And sulk towards the fact that I'm still here, in your world.”

Skittles smiled, “Don't take too long.”

I flicked her on the nose as I scooted past her, earning a vicious stare, “Unless you plan on joining me I won't.”

O.o.O.o.O

I grunted as I began to climb the steps towards the bathroom. I had in my hands, my dried clothes. I have to remember to thank Shy pony for being nice enough to hang up my attire. Although they had been outside, drying during the nighttime, I was at least lucky the morning dew ain’t get to ‘em. So, With the goal of looking at least presentable, I walked into the bathroom.

This was not your typical morning. Besides from the amount of animals I had to push myself past, the only thing I could at least count as normal, was really, the awful thought of my breakfast cravings.

Shutting the door, I laid out my attire - careful to shoo away any animals in the bathroom lest there would be an incident like yesterday again. My clothes had dried, thankfully, but I was hesitant on doing the pants. My boxers were still wet, and I was kind of soaked. With quick thinking, I took a nearby towel and used it to try and soak up as much as I could.

I discarded the towel neatly afterwards, and tried to put on the sh-

“You done yet?”

Out of all the moments in the day, out of every minute in one hour, WHY NOW?! I could feel my eyes roll over several times before I answered,

“Would it make you feel ANY better if I said no?”

As I put my blue button-up on, I heard Skittles sigh, “Now that I think about it…”

In a quick moment, I opened the door with the wet towel in hand cocked back as if it were a live grenade. In the next, I had thrown it at the floating pegasus in the hallway, pegging her in the mouth. She did a cartwheel midair and shook her head, I sneered from the doorway,

“Now that I think about it-” I closed the door and continued putting on my clothes.

There was a short bout of laughter that faded away slowly. When it disappeared, I slammed on my trousers and socks, pulling my shoe on without effort.

Rainbolic bastard…

Finally done with the clothing, I exited the bathroom, my mood slowly rising when I saw Fluttershy standing at the foot of her door.

Mood Rising. I know that's Crazy right.

She looked rather down, couldn't blame her, I was too. But from the look on her face, I'd say that there was another reason. Her eyes averted mine, and somehow, she didn’t hide behind her mane… still, she mumbled out a,

“Oh hello Tick.”

Blinking, I tried my best to smile, “Howdy. Erm - Nice morning?”

“Oh… Yes… It's um… Quite lovely -The sun I mean.”

So it's gonna be one of these conversations. Okay. Fluttershy moved to the left and looked away, allowing me to clear my throat, hopefully ending this conversation,

“Hey, thanks for letting me stay over. Really. I uh -” I scratched the back of my head as Fluttershy blushed, “- appreciate it. Hopefully I can make it up to you.”

Fluttershy smiled awkwardly, “No worries Tick. It was my pleasure…”

Chuckling, I nodded whilst clearing my throat, “Right well. Imma get goin’.”

I didn't really wait for her response, and in truth, I don't think she wanted to either, because at about the same time, She went into the bathroom, and I chucked myself down the stairs in an unorderly fashion. The result was me faceplanting the bottom of the steps due to the difference in architecture. I wasn’t tall in any regard, but I was larger than most ponies I had seen. So the whole scramble down the stairs aspect was lost on my footing.

Amidst landing at the bottom, I cursed several of my ancestors and looked up from the floor. Dash and Applejack were both waiting, the bitchier of the two eventually checking her forearm, as if she had a watch.

“You ready to go now?”

Shutting my eyes, I counted to twenty one and smiled, “Yes, Dash, by all means, escort me to Twilight. Without breakfast I might add.”

Dash shared a look to Applejack who in turn nodded, randomly pulling an apple out from her hat. Applejack tossed it to me with a grin, “Twilight’s got breakfast ready at her place. That's just ta’ get ya started.”

“Okay? Feeling like I'm being rationed… Thanks Jack.” I added nonchalantly.

“It's Applejack.”

I shrugged and took a bite of the apple pushing past the two of them, “I've already made nicknames for five of you. Just need to come up with a nickname for Rarity…”

I tapped my chin as both mares sighed, “Eh… I'll do it later.”

“AJ are you sure you can’t just take him yourself? All I want to do right now is go back to my cloud honestly.”

I stopped midchew, my eyes slowly falling onto the multicolor mare, seems AJ had the same idea. Both Applejack and I gave Dash a glare, the former being the one to trot out of the door first.

As we exited, both mares shouted their goodbyes and left their friend in her house. AND SO! ADVENTURE!

O.o.O.o.O

“And that's how I totally saved us. Pretty cool right?”

Ugh… if there's one thing I hate more than her attitude, it's moreover on how much she brags. Good Christ. First, she bragged about how fucking large she made the storm the other day, ending it with her prowess on the story now.

“Uh huh… Very cool. Say, how about we play the quiet game? Hm? That sound cooler?” I said, lips pursed tightly.

AJ agreed, from the actions her eye did, twitching and all. But Dash laughed and did a few flips in midair,

“Oh come on, ya gotta admit, I was pretty awesome.”

AJ sighed, “Y’know, I hafta agree with Tick, Dash. I don't remember runnin’ away from Discord with m’ tail between mah hooves.”

Well, hopefully you can make sense of what she said, because in due respects, I had NO idea what had happened. One minute, I'm walking out Fluttershy's house, on my way towards Twilights. No big deal. The next glorious moment, Dash ends up riveting both AJ and I with one of her, Tails. Yes, I fucking punned. Get over it.

Her story, “quote, end quote”, Involved her friends, but portrayed herself as the hero. If you catch my drift, making sails towards the answer, you'll recognize the fact that I paid absolutely no attention, and ended up wasting about half an hour of my life. At least we were closer to Twilight's than before.

Hoorah!

Now, thanks to our event equalizing equine, and her plagiarism, I had to give more attention to what was going on around me. Which, mind, was hard to do when I wanted to punch the next thing I saw.

So I resorted to smoking. Haphazardly, I nearly dropped my pack into a puddle while lighting myself. Thankfully, I was able to catch it. God help this world if I can't smoke.

We passed by the food court again, my mouth instantly watered when we walked nearby that Gingerbread house. Sugarcube Corner.

The day before, I remember recalling the different structural anomalies that stood out from the colorful village I was in, those respectively being Sugarcube Corner, the Forest, the Clock Tower, Town Hall and that Tree/house.

Well, if my info serves me right, Twilight lives in that tree. Apparently, said tree was a library. And said library was about half a mile from where Fluttershy lived. But we three jocks made good time.

We passed by the townlier portion of Ponyville, where almost all the ponies lived; after about ten minutes into Dash's story. (And wishing I had mouthwash to wash my eyeballs with) I bumped into a white mare with headphones on. What was she listening to anyways?

The two of us exchanged a short head nod as she found her footing. I watched her go exhaling a cloud of toxic gas. Imma refer any mind fucks I run across, as Equestrian Logic.

The next ponies we ran into knew Applejack and Rainbow Dash very well. But they stopped and took a moment to look at the other thing walking with them over a couple of times.

Look, I'm not an attraction, nor am I anything that fucking scary. Stop Staring.

Thankfully, I was graced with the wholehearted interruption of a Pie, that was Pink. Again, if I were to guess on how, or even when she did it, I would point you in the direction of Equestrian Logic. In short, 3.14 turned up,

“Heya Tick!”

And it was either the way she presented it, or how she suddenly appeared, Blue eyes and all. But because of so, I wasn't able to formulate a response quick enough, so it came out like a strangulated gasp of air.

“That’sm’namewhoareyouagain?”

Pinkie hopped off my.. forehead.. however in the hell she'd managed to do that, and landed neatly in front of me.

“Heya Ticky!” She repeated.

I blinked, “Pinkie… Uh… Hi. Nice of you to… drop by.”

“Yep! I heard Dashie and Applejack were taking ya to Twilights! Thought I’d tag along too!”

It's the logic, really, that utterly kills my mind, reducing it to nothing but rubble like a fallen building. As she responded, I couldn't help but allow my mind to drift, causing my mouth to drop, this included the cigarette falling out. I could practically hear the tinnitus as Pinkie started rambling on.

“Right. That's great, um. Let me just,” I turned and said lowly so 3.14 couldn't hear,

“One of you? Explain.”

“Pinkie being Pinkie.”

“A liable answer Skittles. I mean, why the fuck is she following us? How did she even know where to find me?”

Applejack shrugged, “It's one of them Pinkie moments, Tick. She just does what she wants.”

With a sigh, I rubbed my face and thought of another Logic besides Equestrian. I now refer to it as Pinkie Logic. So far, I really haven't been able to comprehend what she even does. I watched as Pinkie fell in line with Rainbow Dash and Applejack, as we all continued across a bridge of sorts.

And there it was.

So, my definition of a tree house, is literally, a small, built together house inside of a tree. It was an Oak, from the looks of it, and had some neutral things like windows and a door in the front. Then of course, as I looked up, there was a balcony that led into some sort of room.

Huh… Cool.

To start off such an observation, I stated the obvious, “Okay. So we have here, a Tree Library. Very nice. Should I be worried about falling branches?”

Dash flew beside me, “No. Not really. Now the books are a different subject.”

“Good to know.”

The three mares took lead, all of them entering casually. It took me a moment to realize that Pinkie had already knocked on the door. The conversation between the three of them spurred my curiosity,

“Where's Spike?”

“Over at Rarity’s for the day.”

Spike? Is that another pony? Pfft, weird name. Anyways, I entered after them, shutting the door with a sniff.

The inside was spacious, and I might add quite… Treeish. Its what you'd actually think was inside of a tree really. The whole house had a very soft green glow from the sap colored windows. There was a second floor, added on top of it was probably where Twilight slept.

I haven't seen her hide yet, so that's what my assumption is.

There was another portion that made me go, ‘ahh’, in which I now know why they called it the… Golden Oak Library? Anyway, there was a section just for books.

Reminded me of my high school library.

The three mares took refuge on a couch, placed somewhere in the middle of the room, immediately striking up some kind of conversation amongst themselves.

Beside thecouch, was the… Kitchen? Hold up..

HOLD UP.

Let me do the math… Two plus two equals four… Carry the three, add two more and… Yep. Who the hell places a KITCHEN, inside of a tree?!

Answer? Fucking Equestria does ladies and gents! Hold your applause.

“Oh hello girls!...” Amidst my rambling, Twilight had appeared from the upstairs, her room obviously. She looked sleep deprived and was rather jerkish in her movements.

Wait for it.

“Tick.”

I laughed and turned, throwing my arms out, “Miss Sparkle! A pleasure! How do you fare this fine morning?”

Heh. Mission accomplished in making her hella confused,

“F-fine…”

Twilight looked different today, her hair was all frizzled, eyes were darting back and forth, and I was quite certain that she was shaking. Oh god, who gave the unicorn caffeine?

"I'm glad to see that Applejack and Rainbow Dash could get you up. And early, I might add.”

I shrugged as I looked for a place to plant my ass, “Well, they were very eager in their attempts to arise me from my slumber. Case in point, water, is not a good thing to wake up to.”

Twilight let the realization sink in, and had to hold in her laughter as she clambered down the stairwell, “They… Poured water on you?”

I raised a brow, “Yeah? But that didn't work out well for them. Dash had to end up saying please.”

Said mare stuck her tongue out at me.

Twilight smiled, shaking her head as she sat in a chair, “Well, I just want you to answer a few things, maybe talk with us more.”

“Uh huh. Talk, right…”

“Just try to bear with me please.”

As she spoke, I took the comfy chair that was behind me and popped a cigarette out,

“Ask away, Twilight.”

“You never answered my first question.”

I lit myself up, “You’re being very vague Twilight.”

Twilight deadpanned, “Funny. Tick, what are you?”

I inhaled albeit quickly, ending up nearly hacking a lung, “I don't seem to comprehend what your question is.”

Twilight blinked and quickly formulated a response, “Well… You're different. Not in a mean way. But physically different. You aren't a Minotaur, definitely not a changeling…”

I stopped coughing and chuckled, “Changeling? Minotaur? Jeez, look at those ugly bastards, and then me. Compared to them, I'm like a model.”

Pinkie waved from the couch, “Don’t let Rarity catch ya saying that!”

I smiled, “Thanks Pinks.”

Twilight looked behind herself and then towards me, “Well understand where I'm coming from. I was up most of yesterday night looking through the entire library, trying to figure out what you were.” She looked defeated, “I couldn't find anything.”

Twilight then gazed at me with curious eyes, “But you have an answer right? Or are you going to beat around the bush again?”

Sighing, I rubbed my forehead, “Alright. Guess it wouldn't hurt to tell. How do I uh… Explain this - oh, I got it. I'm a… Human.”

Twilights eyes sparked with recognition, “Human? That's what you are?”

I blinked, “Uh, pretty sure, yeah.”

“Wow. Okay, it appears I owe Lyra some bits…”

I raised an eyebrow, “Lyra?”

Twilight nodded, “Yes, Hearthstrings, an, enthusiast of sorts.”

I smirked, “Sounds creepy enough.”

Twilight snickered, “Quite. But beyond that. I believe Lyra, might be able to fill me in on your species.”

“Now you're making me out to be useless.”

Dash perked up, “The apple's not too far from the tree, Tick.”

Looking over Twilight, I frowned, “I’m not the one who knocked it down Skittles.”

When no one rebuked, Twilight turned and said with more vigor in her eyes than before,

“Well, answer what you can and if you get uncomfortable with the questions let me know. This could help me aid you back to your home after all.”

In response I sighed again, but begrudgingly gave her an A-Okay hand gesture, waving her to continue, “Ask away.”

Twilight and I sat there for a good thirty or so minutes, back and forth like it were twenty questions. It wasn’t an interview and thankfully she only asked questions that pertained to humans themselves and not personal questions. And if it was a personal question I told her outright to move on and let things lay as it were.

I told her general things about us as a species, and what we did day to day which was basically what Twilight and her friends did day to day. There wasn’t much difference albeit the lack of hair, and being on all fours. Twilight wrote all of it down, sparing not a single letter nor pronounced word, her floating quill moving as fast as I could tell her what she wanted.

Eventually she grew silent and reviewed the several pages that she had written down. After sparing them all a glance she looked up,

“I have more questions for you. But I do need to tell you something.”

I rolled my eyes, “Goodie. I'm guessing now that I gave you the info you can take me home? But at the cost of something…” I rubbed my chin, “I can't offer my body. That's kinda weird…” The looks on everyone's faces was well worth the phrase.

“If I said I could take you home, I would be lying to you,” Twilight said as she trotted back from the kitchen, she had in her magical grasp; tea, “So, the truth, is Princess Celestia, My mentor and teacher, is coming to Ponyville.”

Twilight offered me the drink, to which I raised an answer, “Oh right right, Celestia. You said she was coming in a few days. Didn’t know she was a Princess.” As I took the drink from her, Twilight nodded,

“Correct. Originally she was going to do a routine stop and check in with us. But her plans have changed. She said to me in a recent note that she would like to meet you as soon as possible.”

Oh… Quick question, Exactly, how the hell did this day escalate? Like, seriously. One minute, im being awoken by a pegasus.

Okay.

Then, I have an awkward delusion with Shy.

Alright.

Next, Pinkie Happens.

Which I'm still trying to figure out how that happened…

Now, I gotta meet some Princess

Which by the way. I was undoubtedly curious. I asked who Celestia was and Twilight responded with some mumbo jumbo about a wonderful pony, and mother to all. And it went on from there. I was intrigued at the perspective of who this Princess was, and it got even more interesting when Twilight told me what she does as princess, because apparently, some magical unicorn/pegasus can raise and lower the sun. As pious as it sounds, said Princess is the ruler of this kingdom, and is quite powerful. Obviously a shitty teacher for Twilight, but powerful.

Honestly this had seriously caught my attention, I put the tea on the table in front of me, crossing the non-shoed foot as Twilight said with an averted eye,

“So you can see why I wanted to ask you some things before she gets here.”

I scoffed, “Well hell Twi, You got me in another knot here, and I can't fucking get out. I mean this is a Princess that is coming by. If the roles were reversed, and you were in my world, it’d be the President.” Throwing my arms out I laughed at the thought, “How am I supposed to act in front of Royalty hmmm?”

Twilight pursed her lips, “Well…”

Matter of fact, I held a finger out, “How long have you known she had changed plans?”

Twilight looked as if she were doing math inside her head, “Oh… About thirteen hours?”

“And what time is she coming by?”

Twilight blushed, “She’s… should be here now.”

On cue a trumpet blare, I shit you not, played from somewhere behind me followed by the unmistakable sound of clip clops drawing near.

“Now announcing the arrival of Princess Celestia!”

Grinding my teeth, I shot Twilight a venomous stare as the door to the library swung open.

Author's Note

Trust me I hate having to cut the chapters short.

Trust me lmao, they will be getting longer. Currently just trying to set up the characters and what not. Establish the granular character you'll have to deal with for chapters to come. There'll be more. Trust.

Side question, Favorite Manga. Go.

-Doood