Chapter 7

Alright, so for me to be at Town Hall… I would have to go… Straight. Why do ponies even need a school anyways? They're ponies.

Imma stop before I get a headache.

I pocketed Rarity's little map and walked forward, taking careful measures to not fuck up my foot during this delicate time. Already climbed up to Rarity’s pad, just need to make sure I can make it to the schoolhouse now.

The objective, is survive.

The map said, which was basically just a bunch of scribbles in equestrian language, it looked like the, ‘roads”, should twist and turn once I was free of the Boutique. Eventually, they should lead me to the housing units. So I was backtracking to the food court.

I really wish Spike had come with since the little fucker new his way around here. Why didn’t Miss Prissy get him to do this?

Thankfully that portion was correct and I was right back at where Derpy from earlier had crashed head first into me. Unlike before though, I didn’t have Spike who was probably known as a local to avert the ponies gazes. So being a tad bit different looking and alone out in a respectable town, I did catch a few unfriendly glances.

In retrospect, this one guy saw me staring at him, and I don’t think he appreciated it. So from that point, I did my personal best not to stare at the ones who had taken notice of me, but it was quite hard when I had strolled in, fuming smoke everywhere.

For the times I did glance about, I took in different ponies I had, and hadn't seen before. For example, I saw that Purple Sunglass’d unicorn. Yes, again, she was bobbing her head to what I assumed was an imaginary beat. But with the evidence of headphones, I had to debunk that theory and move on.

I found out that a few of them waved at me, actually taking their time to stop watering their gardens… Which was super fucking weird to see, and smile. Some of the older mares, and stallions bided me a good morning as I passed by. The strange similarities of seeing the older generation rocking back and forth in chairs caused a small shiver go up my spine.

I would be lying to you if I said I didn't wave back. WHICH I DID. Don't judge so quickly. Bastards…

However much I didn’t want to, I actually relaxed somewhat and eased off the clamping of my ass cheeks. And I hate to say it, but if this continues, you know; all the goddamn niceness, I might actually think about staying here.

Now that I think about it, I might have to end myself before that. BAD ME.

Agreeably, there's something about this place that doesn't seem right, but at the same time, it feels too good to be true. It's too cheerful, colorful, and reminded me of a fairy tale. I mean, with the fictional and mythical creatures walking and talking I felt like Equestria needed some… Action. Like explosions, or some type of sinister entity.

As I gained an evil grin, I realized it was best not to get too ahead of ourselves. Right now, I was enjoying the peaceful stroll given to me.

“Hey, Tick!”

Keyword being, ‘was’.

“Ah, Miss Dash,” I said, almost instantly recognizing the scratchy voice, “I was just thinking about you.”

Rainbow Dash flared her wings as she landed, the dust from the grounded rising and falling as though she had done a superhero landing,

“Were ya’ thinkin about how awesome I am?”

Blinking, I took out my cigarette and flicked the butt towards her, “No. I was thinking about how big your fucking forehead is.”

“I have an average shaped forehead I’ll have you know!”

“Which is exactly why,” I pointed, “I don't care.”

Dash snickered, “Was there a meaning to that?”

I nodded, “Indeed. To prod you, my dear, and see what your limitations are.”

She chortled, “Well, it'll take more than that to rile me up.” I sniffed, “Uh-huh. Says the one who gets her britches in a knot because of her new nickname.”

Dash held her hooves out, “Because it isn't my name!”

“Pfft, it is now.” I answered while going back to the map, “Now do me a flavor and Dash away Rainbow.”

Dash scrambled into the air and sped in front of me,

“Well, wait a minute, where the buck do you think you're going?”

That's new.

I scoffed, “Fucking... Can I not do something without someone breathing down my neck?”

Skittles shook her head, “I've been given orders from Twilight to watch you.”

I deadpanned instantly, “Damn. She said that?”

“Not the exact words she used, It was more like…” Dash licked her muzzle, “Dash, make sure Tick doesn't scare anypony, go off anywhere he isn't supposed to, and if he does, bring him back here.”

“So you were supposed to be spying on me?”

Dash shrugged, “Spying, Watching, Observing…”

I took a step back, “Observing? Skittles, if you want to see me up close, all you need to do is ask.”

“I'm fine with watching from up there, thank you very much.”

I shrugged my way past her, “Your loss. And speaking of such, get lost.”

Dash sucked in through her teeth, following behind me, “Oooooo… Yeah sorry. Can't. Twilight promised me her share of Cider this year.”

While walking, I let out a throaty sigh and covered my face, “Celestia told me not to fuck anything up… She told me to be nice…”

Rainbow Dash snickered, “Sounds like you're in a pickle, bud.”

“Call me bud again, and I'll plant you in the ground to watch you grow, fucker.”

O.o.O.o.O

To make my not so long story even longer, I will start off by saying that the walk of peace ended very quickly. As if it weren't already obvious... Rainbow Dash had followed me, EVERYWHERE I went. And now, it was starting to drive me a little nuts.

She and I at first walked in silence, making the trip go smoothly and sent us from the sightly neighborhood in record time. Heh, neigh-borhood. Anyway, as we had begun into a less crowded area, Dash decided to start telling stories… again.

Well that started the heated debate of whether or not the stories were really necessary. I lost the battle with a hoof upside my head, and lost three cigarettes in three minutes. If we had gotten off on the right foot, maybe I could've been able to listen to her.

Wait, yeah fuck that. She boasts an ungodly amount of bullshit. And to call her out on it, receives an earful, plus a brain attack. So, with that in mind, I listened to her, right up until I could see the schoolhouse. And during such, I went through three more smoking utensils listening, and talking to her.

“Hey, Tick, ya listening?”

“No.”

“Yeah, anyways, See, after I busted in…”

It went like that most of the time as I couldn’t pay attention for too long. Oh did you know that rocks are really hard? Yes? Great, just checking. It's not every day you find out that said object bounces off your head and it sounds like your nickname.

But if I have to listen to her for two minutes longer, I will take whatever Celestia, Twilight and Rarity can throw at me...

“Oh… My Celestia! Is that the Rainbow Dash?!”

I was beginning to wonder when this cruelty would end. Thank you dear god!

It was a mare, obviously a pegasus too, judging from the wings. And quite a large mare at that. Don't get me wrong you sadistic assholes, if I compared the mare speaking, to others, she would at least tower two heads taller than them.

Well enough about her height, this tall drink of h2-uh-oh, had azure colored eyes which were surprisingly brighter than Pinkie’s. Her coat, so to speak, was that of the god awful color, Yellow. To match with the Piss colored coat, she had green hair. Mane. Whatever. There were, of course, streaks of orange within it, but who cares at this moment.

Dash took this chance to stroke her ego, “The one and only!”

The mare gasped, “Oh my goodness, never would I think to see the day! You single hoofedly-”

I raised my hand and wiggled my fingers, “Yeah. Ladies?” Smiling, I pointed behind me, “Before you two start, Me? I'm going over there.”

I twirled around and started to plant my foot down, but of course, the mare had to ask a question that stopped me right in my tracks.

“What are you?”

Resist. The. Urge. To punch Bitch. In throat,

“I think the better question is who. Not what.”

She raised a brow, “Alright then, Who are you?”

With a quick exhale of breath, I flared my hand and smirked, “I!? Am Tick. Your local resident human. Forcefully brought here by Rainbow Dash and tortured by her friends.”

She blinked, “Oh my…”

Dash giggled nervously, “He’s joking, he’s joking!” She cast a gaze over to me that uttered practically the incantations of several evil gods.

The mare smiled after a moment of deciphering the news, “Ah. A joke. Right. Uh… Well, my name is Hilder Glow.”

I am really getting sick of the names these ponies come up with. What fucking sane parent names their child, Hilder Glow?

Let's name it Forest Foot honey!

No, no. I got it. Hilder Glow.

“You obviously know me, Rainbow Dash! Fastest flier in Equestria!”

I rolled that in my head for a moment's pause, counting her saying that three times now? Yeah, that caused me to cringe. Oh, but Glow lapped it up like cat on milk,

“I know! My friends all said that you were the one who saved The Element of Generosity from death once!”

Dash flipped her mane, “Yeah that was me.”

Glow fangasm’d, “AND PERFORMED THE SONIC RAINBOOM AT THE SAME TIME!!”

That bounced off my forehead a bit. I think I heard her say that she did do that. Which give or take I’d have to see it to believe it - believe you me.

Dash laughed, “Yeah that too.”

Glow leaned in with a gasp, “Oh my gosh… Do you think you could do it again?!”

Dash stopped mid-boast and stood rigid.

Aww. Can't Dash do it? Seems simple. As I smirked in victory from her not being able to do the… Sonic Rainboom or whatever, Dash zipped to Glow’s side and rubbed her hoof against her chest,

“Yeah, but not here. Not too many ponies can really handle it too well, so I normally practice over there,” She said with a jerk of her head. I peered in the direction and nodded in acceptance. It was further away from town out in a far stretching and rolling hill filled field.

Glow jumped up and down, the spark in her eyes matching that of her excitement,

“Well let's go! Oh wait until my friends hear about this…”

So… I’m definitely not following them, and now, Dash isn't following me. I did a small gasp and rubbed my hands together mischievously, then this means I got dirt on Dashy there... So I waited until they were almost out earshot before I shouted,

“HEY SKITTLES!!”

Dash stopped momentarily to look behind her. She gave me a nod for me to continue,

“AIN'T YA SUPPOSED TO BE WATCHIN ME?” Heh, the look on her face was absolutely priceless.

Dash's face lit up like a Christmas tree, and she shot up into the air, speeding over faster than I could've blinked. When I did see her finally, she was out of breath and her rose colored eyes were wide with seriousness,

“Tick, don't. Tell. Twilight.”

I smirked, “Or what? If you want to go doing sonic farts with Hilden Girth over there, be my guest. I have a job to do. But…” I rolled my head, “Apparently, being famous is better than watchin’ lil’ ol’ me.”

Dash blinked, “Don't tell Twilight and I'll stop messing with you.”

I said with-out hesitation, “Oh my god, Done.”

Blasting off again, Dash made her way back to Glow, and the two of them disappeared after Glow asked what had happened.

So, finally. A break… I rubbed my face and exhaled deeply, resting my hands on hips to stare at the schoolhouse.

Ms. Cheeril- Eh… God…

Ms. Cheerilee’s Schoolhouse. A complex name, but a rather intriguing and simple school. The obvious thing though, was that it was meant for youth. I could easily tell from the drawings and playground around the place.

Man… I miss the playground.

The good thing about me being here was that I might be early. Rarity said that school let out around afternoon, however, I couldn't tell what time it was because I broke my watch, and my phone was dead. But licking my finger and erm - looking at the suns position, it was in the middle of the sky.

Thanks Celestia. So all I needed to do now was wait. Luckily for me, I had a nice shady spot to sit down, and wait for the bell to ri-

“And with that, Have a good weekend class. Dismissed!” A female voice said, following that with a shrill sound of the bell.

Just as I was about to plant my ass down too… I was midway from the air to the trunk, so I stood back up and dusted myself off.

The small ponies learning from this establishment piled out of the school like clowns from clown cars, and admittedly, it was pretty funny to watch as they waddled out on their peg leg like feet. They came in all different shapes and sizes too, be that of tall, lanky, plump, or small.

Pause you degenerates. These are by all technical standards, children.

And because of how fast they were popping out, I didn't get to sit down, but I was able to lean on the tree. All I had to do was find a little filly that looked like a smaller… Weirder version of Rarity. I thought I had found her a few times, but turns out that they weren't. Their names were like… Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.

So again,

Let's name her… Diamond Tiara honey!

Equestrian Logic.

“How ‘bout your place then? Mah sis is cleaning today. Can’t do it there.” Wait… I've seen that filly before. What was her name… Appletart? No...

Uh-oh, who's this?

“What?! Applejack is doing that TODAY? Man…” A filly with a purple mane sighed, “Well if Sweetie Bell would hurry up, maybe her sister could let us sleep over.”

So these are the ones Rarity spoke of. Huh. Rowdy bunch. The one with the country accent… Now announced as Applejack's sister, had a butterscotch colored coat, and red mane. The other one reminded me of someone… Oh good lord who was it… Anyway, she had a strange tan and orange coat with purple hair. Weird combination if you ask me, But you didn't. So, hah.

I watched as the last student came from the school, she hopped from the steps and joined the group that had started walking my way.

I didn't pay much attention to what their talk consisted of, but I got the gist of it, and realized that this was who Rarity wanted me to pick up.

As the one with the purple hair punched her friend in the shoulder, I moved from the tree to stand in front of them. The last thing I wanted to come off as was a creepy sumbitch, so I tried to make myself as non threatening as possible.

They took note of me rather quickly, and I found out that I had a lump in my throat when they shifted their gazes,

“Excuse me, which one of you is Sweetie Bell?” I got that out after looking at the three of them for a minute. Creepiness factor just got raised up by two points…

Surprisingly however, and I do mean that, the named filly raised her hoof slowly,

“I'm Sweetie Belle.”

Ah. I raised a brow at the young one.

Out of all the ponies, fillies, colts and alicorns, Sweetie Belle had a color pallette that wasn't all about gouging my goddamn eyes out. Rather than butterscotch, or tan, she had an almost ash color to her fur, combined with a partway of Pink and Purple hair,

“Hi… Sweetie Belle. I'm Tick. Your sister asked me to swing by and pick you up.”

Sweetie raised a brow of her own, “Why not do it herself?”

I shrugged, “I asked her the same thing.”

“And?”

I frowned deeply, “She batted her eyelashes and said, Please.”

All girls giggled, which, quite frankly, made me chuckle a little myself,

“Oh y’all think that's funny do you?”

Sweetie was the one to nod, “Of course! Rarity always has a way with ponies.”

Ponies? Huh, these three probably don't know, or don't care about what I am. Anyways, Yeah. Must be from her reserved fuel of bitchiness, “Quite, Sweetie Belle, amongst her threats, yes she does.”

Applejack's sister smiled and waved after I stood from kneeling,

“Well it's mighty nice ta meet ya Tick! Mah names Applebloom!”

“I'm Scootaloo!”

I waved, “Nice to meet you both.”

Sweetie smiled, nodding another greeting as I let my eyes fall on her, but cocked her head after a second,

“Where are you from, Tick? I don't think I've seen you around here before.”

This is becoming an increasingly stressful question, but it was worded by the mouth of a child, so I smirked and pointed to the mountain behind me,

“I come from wwwwaaaaaayyyy over there.”

Scootaloo gasped, “You mean Canterlot!?”

I shook my head, “Way further than that.”

The three balls of cute took a moment to think of how far that would be, and gave up after coming up with nothing.

“Look, we can talk about where I came from as we go, but I need to make sure Rarity keeps her end of our bargain, so…”

Both Applebloom and friend looked at the only unicorn in the bunch. Sweetie scratched the back of her head, “Well Tick… We are in a small conundrum…”

Scootaloo perked, “What's that mean?”

I paid her no mind and tilted my head, “What kind of conundrum?”

“Well. We planned on having a sleepover at Applebloom's place, and we all wanted to go. But now because of her sister, we can't.”

I scratched my chin, “What about Scootaloo’s place?”

Said filly shrugged, “My mom and dad haven't been back in a while. Uncle has been taking care of me and well… he doesn't take well to anypony in the house.”

Sweetie sighed, “So the only choice left is my sisters’.”

I chuckled, “What does this have to do with me?”

All three squinted towards me, Scootaloo being the one to say, “You gotta convince her to let us sleepover.”

I knew there was a catch, I knew it, yet didn't give a fuck towards it,

“Seriously though, why can't you do it?” I said throwing a hand out toward the filly in question,

“Do you know what hardship and pain I had to endure coming all the way over here just to get someone else's SISTER?” I asked planting a hand on my chest.

Sweetie was the one to nonchalantly shrug,

“I wanted to ask her, but it seems she deems working more fit, than listening to me. See, the Grand Galloping Gala is coming up-”

I raised a hand, “The… What now?”

Oh wait, Rarity and Spike did say something about that. Right right.

Applebloom snickered, “The Grand Galloping Gala.” She lost her accent to accentuate the name of said event, “It's some fancy schmancy event famous ponies go to.”

The three fillies all said at different intervals,

“Like Rarity.”

“And Applejack.”

“And of course Rainbow Dash!”

I had to hold in a burst of laughter by biting my finger, but let them continue,

“And their friends too! Rarity has to make alotta dresses, so she doesn't have that much time and patience.”

Explains a lot, “So you want me.”

All nodded as I continued,

“To speak with a pony…”

They grew closer,

“That hates me as much as I hate her?”

Sweetie shrugged and went back to normal,

“I mean, she wants you to pick me up. So she trusts you somewhat…”

I smiled, “Somewhat being the keyword. First day being around her and she threatened my life, dearest Sweetie. So I'll tell you what.” I said as I pulled out my stress relievers,

“How about a bargain?”

Applebloom clopped her hooves together, “Ooooo, ah like this. Whaddya propose?” And judging from how the group nodded their agreements, I could continue,

“I'll ask Rarity if you three can sleepover. Whatever good that would do... BUT. I want you to…” I juggled my offer around, “Do a few things to a certain someone.”

Scootaloo giggled, “He wants us to play pranks on ‘em.”

I clicked my tongue, “Now I don’t want ya to go around making several people mad. Just… One Pony.”

“Who?”

I said in all seriousness,

“Twilight.”

Scootaloo scratched her head, “What? Why her?”

“Several reasons. But too complicated to tell you in time for Sweetie Belle to get home. All I would need for you three to do, is… Spy. On her. It's a prank,” I said with a smile, “But a sneaky one.”

Applebloom considered the following, her auburn eyes crossing with concentration,

“So… If you persuade Ms. Rarity to let us sleep over, we spy on Twilight?”

I shrugged, “You can be like, little professional spies or something.” See how smart I was?

Scootaloo gasped, “MAYBE WE CAN EARN A SPY CUTIE MARK!”

I'm sorry, a what no-

“You really think so?”

“Totally.”

I watched in a stunned moment as all three of them giggled and grouped together,

“CUTIE MARK SPY CRUSADERS!!”

I felt the cigarette fall out of my mouth as the three kiddos barreled past me, my mind actually trying to comprehend what had just happened.

Did they just say Cutie Mark?

EQUESTRAIN LOGI-

O.o.O.o.O

“No, I don't have any super powers.”

“OH! CAN YA FLY?!”

“No, I wish I could though.”

“Can you disappear?”

I raised a brow, “And do what?”

All the girls groaned and went back to square one, “So he isn't a superpony…”

“I'm not a pony…” I muttered under my breath, “Never have been, and never will be.”

“Aww… But it's so much fun!!”

I sighed in defiance, but played it cool as a new voice cut through the air. Literally the only voice that had an exclamation point at the end of her sentences, Pinkie 3.14…

“Look! You can do so many cool things as a Pony, Tick!” Ms. 3.14 emphasized her point by motioning several things with her hooves,

“Like dancing, singing, yodeling, Party throwing…”

I raised a hand, “Do you actually, ‘throw’, parties?”

Pinkie tapped her muzzle, “No, not after that one time with that griffon.” She giggled, “Griffons are born in air, but don't like their parties airborne.”

Sighing, I rubbed my face, “Fucking… Puns… Too good for my brain…”

“Well I love puns! They're punny!”

All the girls and even I groaned, “Pinkie…”

“Well anyways, where’ve ya been Ticky?”

Disregarding my nickname’s nickname, I shrugged, “Here and there, Twilight gave me a room in her treehouse and that's where I slept last night.”

“Oooooh. Cool! So you were able to see Rarity then?”

Nodding, I pulled a cigarette out, “Yes, by now, she should have my attire ready. But for the time that was spared for us, she and I got our boundaries set…” Smirking, I chuckled, “She hates me now, which is cool.”

Pinkie deflated a little, “Aw… Tick, you have to make friends somehow!”

I raised my hands in self defense, “Hey woah now, watch it with the, “F”, word Pinkie.

“But you don't have anypony to have fun with!”

I gasped, “PINKIE! You said another, “F”, word!!”

Pinkie giggled, “But it's for good reason! Tick, you gotta at least settle in while you're here!”

I blurghed,

“Blurgh..”

Scootaloo flapped her little wings, failing in lifting off the ground, but actually buzzed her way over to where I was,

“Hey, at least she didn't start singing.”

I blinked, “Wait. When you guys get emotional, you fucking sing?”

When Scootaloo nodded, I felt my stomach drop a few times in realization of a Ponyville Musical being possible. It wasn't just scary, it was legitimately horrifying.

Pinkie suddenly appeared in front of me,

“Yep! If you're a pony, you can sing with us!”

I flicked her on the nose, “But I'm not. So I'm not going to sing.”

Pinkie tilted her head like a cat. “Do you not know how to sing?” She asked me sincerely.

I inhaled sharply, “No, I do. But my singing has a tendency of people going deaf.”

The 3.14 mare giggled. “You can't be that bad. Besides, all that matters is that you have fun!”

I hissed, “We are near children! Cursing takes you nowhere Pinkie.”

Pinkie suddenly blinked and you could almost see the gears turning in her mind as she tried to figure something out.

With quick sweeps, I gathered the three balls of fur,

“Quick, while Pinkie is thinking!”

No other words were spared as we all surely made our way away from Pinkie Pie. We ran off the beaten path into some forest path past the school but next to the neighborhood. The end result was me gasping for air, doubling over for oxygen.

“Say Tick,” Asked Scootaloo, who cocked her head to the side, “Since you know Twilight and Rarity, you gotta know Rainbow Dash right?”

I pointed at Scootaloo, “Do NOT, speak of her. EVER.” I coughed, dusting myself off,

“I regrettably do, know her. And for the boasting, egotistical rainbolic sonofa bi-...cycle… she is, I wish I didn't know her.” Phew close one.

“How could you say that? You've only known her for a while right?”

I nodded, “Yep.”

Scootaloo argued as we walked, “Then how can you dislike her in such a short time?”

Smiling, I leaned down, “See, Scoots, My mom always said, that if someone disrespects you at first, you treat them like sh-...oes… until otherwise.”

All three looked thoughtful for the moment,

“Is there anypony you don't dislike?”

Scratching my chin, I let out a, ‘hm’,

“Well, there's Derpy. And then Fluttershy.”

At the mention of the two names all three fillies nodded their agreement, so I continued,

“And Spike too. He’s pretty bueno.”

Scootaloo nodded, bumping her hoof with Applebloom, “Yeah we taught him everything about being cool.”

The sound of all three giggling aloud did something to soothe my cold black heart. It was a riveting sight, I assure you, for all the right reasons. These three practically were the embodiment of youth god bless their hearts.

Keep in mind, I don’t like kids in general. But these three,

They were ight.

We talked as we walked, they told me stories about how they tried to get their cutie marks and what have you. They actually told me that at birth, the ponies here are born without a mark on their ass.

It is dubbed as a blank flank. Or a blank rear. As a pony grows older, and they find what they do the best being as it is different per pony, a Mark will appear on their ass to show the world what they like doing the most, what they are best at, or what they are known for. One of the three the girls told me at least.

Which would explain Fluttershy a bit, since she has the three butterflies on her ass, kinda telling me that she's either peaceful or likes animals. The more y’know, y’know?

“So then why don’t y’all got your tattoos yet?”

Applebloom raised a hoof, “Cutie, Marks. And t’ answer that, we don’t… know.”

The mood lessened a tad as she said that. All three looked in different directions to which I cleared the air with a grunt, pulling out another cigarette, “Well. You three gotta be good at somethin’ r-”

KRAK-BOOM

It sounded like an explosion, benign closer maybe, to being directly under a thunderstrike. Us four flinched and swiveled our heads in the direction of the sound. Besides the fact that it was give or take a few days in between hearing such volume of sound, I could see the cause of said explosion off in the distance.

Right where Dash said she’d be.

A pattern of Red, Green and the other colors in a rainbow spread out in a circle - wisp trails of white going in directions where I assume clouds used to be. The girls watched in fascination as the ever growing circle of yuck expanded outwards.

I raised my brow in disbelief. She actually put the money where her mouth was. Color me anything but the rainbow, surprised. Two outta the three girls laughed in joy, cooing and staring at the spectacle in awe. Only, Scoots after a while furrowed her brows in a twist of confusion.

“Something ain’t right.”

Taking my eyes off of the impractical mindfuck, I looked over at the auburn coated foal, “Whaddya mean by that.”

Scootaloo then pointed with her hoof at a blur streaking through the air, “The maneuver. Something ain’t right with how she’s winging it.”

Blinking, I looked back over and sure enough, I could barely make out -

Hold on before I describe this, have you ever just rapidly moved a laser back and forth? The jerking motion of the dot leaving a hazy red or green trail behind it as you do? That was what Dash was doing mid-air. She was being jerked around left right and center, which somehow seemed impossible to do without harming yourself if you are going that fast.

“I think I see what you’re talking abo-”

KRAK-KRAK-BOOM

This time we all jumped as if we were in a Scooby Doo cartoon, and Shaggy was gonna be the one to catch our fall. My head snapped back up as Dash came hurtling over us, with what I could catch before she disappeared over the tree line, were her eyes rolling in the back of her noggin and the rainbow trail that followed suit.

Time stood still as another resounding boom was heard further off. The girls stood in shock as the trees quivered, pinecones dropping all around us as the forest trail we had found ourselves on grew quiet.

Blinking my own shock away, I turned to the girls, kneeling down,

“Stay here, I will be right back.”

They said nothing, only nodding their responses as I took off in a sprint.

I never wished anything bad would happen, in fact the joke earlier about how Equestria needing more action was in fact just that, a joke. As the bushes, tree branches, and rocks dug into my foot and skin, my chest felt heavier than normal.

I came into a clearing, a meadow of sorts with white flowers swaying in the wind. Cusping my hand over my eyes, I could make out the impact crater where I assume Dash crash landed.

Another sprint.

Wading through the flowers, I began to feel a sick comeuppance come from the bottom of my stomach. I actually hoped and prayed to an unknown Deity that the only fucker that could take a punch or two, wasn’t dead.

I had to come to a screeching halt when I nearly went head over heels into the hole in the ground. Regaining my balance, I spotted the cyan fur, and rainbow hair under a loose pile of dirt. Clambering down, I began clawing at the dirt, uncovering a horrid sight.

A mangled body of a pegasus.

It wasn’t even a moment ago that she and I were bickering and ALTHOUGH I DON’T MUCH CARE FOR HER, can I be called a human iffin I don’t care about someone else’s, Intelligent Equine or not, feelings?

When the last bit of dirt came loose, Dash’s wing stuck out straight as an arrow. A broken one at that. The notion of it was nauseating. Her entire frame was covered head to foot in cuts. Bruising already started to show as I continued to paw at the soil. Her breathing was ragged, and it seemed that she was still conscious as I somehow was able to grab her from underneath and pick her up.

Her one good eye flickered over to me in a sense of panic as I did, to which out of breath from all the digging I managed,

“Oh shut up. I ain’t some knight in shining armor.”

I could feel a rapid up and down motion from her sides. Even in the state that she was in with me holding her and with both wings broken, she still managed to laugh.

Kudo’s Dashie, Kudos.

I grunted as I hoisted her up in a cradle, her wings softly falling limp,

“Hey, don’t you be falling asleep now.” I chuckled as I began the steep climb to the top of the hole, “Not after that little stunt you pulled oh no.”

She was looking at me as I continued, “You still gotta tell what the fuck you did. Let alone how the hell you managed to do that.”

As she weakly rolled her eyes, I fell on my back at the top of the crater, gasping for pure clean air. Grateful my lungs still worked even through all the nicotine.

Grunting, I carefully stood up, amidst the weak cries of pain from Dash, I turned around from the hole and came face to face with quite a peculiar sight.

Twilight, her friends, the girls, and… Celestia at that. Galloping over, with fearful looks in their eyes. Looking down, I patted the broken pegasus,

“Don’t worry deary, the Calvary is here.”

O.o.O.o.O

Author's Note

So before you start - I was busy. VERY. Busy.

I'm kidding. I was lazy. VERY. Lazy.

But in hindsight I like the way this turned out. A lil' bit of somethin somethin to tide the masses if you will. Also, for the past being the past, thank you all very much. It was super dope seein' this little story up on the featured list for a while. Next chapter'll be out soon.