Chapter 6

Shoes and Dreams

That night I was plagued with a dream. Singular not plural. I watched from a viewpoint of a throne room. In it, littered several ponies all over the floor each of which were of various builds and sizes. Some wore armor, others were too dark or deformed for me to tell what they looked like. From where I was I couldn’t tell if they were dead, or asleep. The room looked as though it had seen battle, chunks of the wall were missing, black and green burn marks were left covering the stone.

Most notably I saw a withered Celestia on her throne. Her hair had lost its magic wavy flow, her eyes were dull and her coat was stained with what I could assume was blood.

I could finally move my head when I heard a large creak come from behind me. Celestia's eyes lazily gazed upward, an anger most foul pointed towards the two ponies who had just walked in. One was a unicorn with a white coat and midnight blue hair, his eyes held a sickly green glow. The other was a Pegacorn. Or as Celestia had reprimanded me yesterday with, an Alicorn.

She was a mixture of Pink, Yellow and Purple. A crown adorned her head, and golden shoes fit snugly on her hooves. I watched from above as Celestia and this Alicorn had a conversation, their mouths moving, but no words were said.

I could hear the chaos past the tinted windows, screams, fires raging, caterwauls of pain. Turning back I had to double take as what was the alicorn that stood there before, was now a pitch black creature. The sickly green glow around the stallion's eyes now bubbled over the creature's pointed horn.

Y’know that feeling of oh fuck when you truly get in trouble. The stomach drop sensation. That's the one. I watched in mute horror as the stallion suddenly charged forward, horn pointed at Celestia. I screamed, actually screamed aloud - hoping, sincerely hoping that Celestia would do something.

And then the throne room disappeared.

Blinking did nothing as the entire canvas where I was looking was pitch black. I could sense the goosebumps, my heart was racing a mile a minute. I could feel myself moving my head around trying to see anything, anyone at all. I don’t know the best way to describe the isolation I felt. It was uncomfortable. So much so that staying any longer would drive me insane.

I stuck my arms out, the feeling reminding me of TV static, waving them around trying to grasp anything. Imagine my surprise when I did finally touch something. It was cold, smooth to the touch, it was a doorknob. Without any hesitation I turned and pulled.

And that's when I saw it.

Off in the distance sat another Alicorn. She sat next to what looked like one of those bird bowls, but plus sized. A faint white glow emanated from the bowl from which small colored wisps bobbed to and fro, dipping in and out of sight. As I drew closer to where she was, I noticed she bore a resemblance to Celestia. Her hair was the shade of a night sky, speckles of white mixed in with a deep violet. Her coat was the same, unlike Celestia her chest armor was black, but the insignia was that of a moon.

She noticed my presence almost immediately when I had gotten closer, her eyes looking me up and down. I felt as though I could see time pass in those teal colored saucers. Her voice bellowed in what seemed to be this shallow space,

“And who, might you be?”

Then, I woke up.

O.o.O.o.O

I felt paralyzed, not in a good way. My entire body screamed pain, and my lungs felt like they were on fire. I half expected a paralysis demon in the shape of Rainbow Dash to come into my peripherals and start fuckin’ tickling me or something, but thank the heavens that did NOT happen. Instead I heard from downstairs, a crack, an “Oh no” followed by an explosion that shook the entire house.

The good news, that jerked me out of my stiff position. Clutching my chest, I saw that I was sweating more so than I have ever done. I felt around my body, sighing with relief when I could still feel my heartbeat. Sitting up, I could hear myself peel off the comforter but when upright I shifted the blanket off of me and shakily stood.

I stumbled over to the desk, collapsing in the chair, I wiped my forehead of the sweat and wrote down what I had seen, doing my best to put detail into the pitch black creature. When I had finished, I put the quill down, numbly fiddling with my fingers in an anxious manner. I half expected the thing I had hastily drawn on the paper to jump out as if it were alive. Its eyes were slitted, its hair was matted down. I could sense that through the dream-like haze I had been in, that it was not friendly.

The dream felt all too real. I ain't one to lucid dream once upon a time, but looking at the page I had drawn in, I leaned back in the chair and breathed aloud, finally able to catch my breath.

And then I remembered the explosion in the house, followed by the smell of fire,

“OH FUCK, TWILIGHT-”

I bolted out the room and slid down the railing. Apparently, said unicorn had tried to make food. Not with her own two han- hooves, but with her magic. I get to the bottom step and find the retard face first in a wall.

“Tick? Spike? Anyone?”

I picked up a piece of bark that was on the ground, chucking it at her exposed ass, a yelp came from within the hole as she struggled,

“Hey, cut that out and help me!!”

Apparently she wanted out.

Anyway, I decided to be the good guy and pulled her out. Thankfully she was conscious and not hurt that badly. But it begged a question on how she survived going through solid wood? When she had regained her composure I sighed and shook my head,

“How the hell did you manage this?”

Twilight smiled to herself and raised a hoof, “I was using a new Spel-”

I raised a hand to her muzzle and crouched down low, “I think, you need to stop using magic for a little bit.” I looked at the hole in the wall, saw the mess in the kitchen and grumbled to myself about how un-fucking-fortunate this was.

Note to self: Ponies are both stupid and indestructible.

P.S: Don't let Twilight cook for me.

Now, after that scenario, I found it concerning to leave after rummaging the kitchen for a bit; for the fact that I needed new clothes, and a shoe. I had my left one, but when I was brought here, I lost my right. I hadn’t complained yet, but the next time I stub my toe on something in the way or get it stomped on by some human hating pony, I will stab a bitch.

So I made myself something to eat and slumped on Twilight's couch. What was interesting, is that I had to find something to do. Ponies don't have Netflix, nor do they have television. It wasn't all bad, but it was a start for me to whine about.

Pretty much all I did was fiddle with my cigarettes and lighter as I ate fucking, lettuce of all things. I already tried my phone and it was dead. Forgot to plug it in when I got home…

However, amongst the million things I could do and could have done, engaging in a staring contest with a dragon, was not on my list. It was in fact, at the very bottom, besides mooning Fluttershy. (I'm not going to do it, so shaddup)

The young drake and I noticed each other's presence at about the same time. See, he had walked in with a mouthful of - I shit you not - gems. He had looked both left and right, swallowing what he had left,

“Uh… Hi?”

Blinking, I coughed and summed it up as a Barney ripoff, “Hello?”

What went from there, was the quickest acquaintance I have ever made. Actually, I would say he was the second. First one was someone else. He cracked a joke about how crappy the morning was and I laughed. Turns out, the dragon's name is Spike. Spike, is fucking hilarious, and shares some principles with me.

Like how he knows Twilight can't cook.

Spike was a weird purplish and green color, hence the nickname Barney. However, being a dragon, (that’s what he said he was, and had instantly perked my attention), he had the cool ass slitted eyes. Not to mention they were green!! I asked him if it was alright for me to call him by his new nickname, but he refused. Said something about him already having a nickname. Sad, I know.

But I gained a cool little amigo as a friend.

Seriously though, I'm ready to go to Dragon Land now, so where's that fucking stone?

Lest it be strange and concerning, Spike is actually a helper for Twilight. Says he does little jobs for her and is the one who made the meal yesterday. I asked where he had been through the whole day, and he responded with a quick answer of, ‘being at a special someponies house’.Whatever that meant was beyond me. So I left it at that and talked with him for a bit.

Give or take… Five minutes later, Twilight walks in, her mane back its original brushed and correct shape. I leaned over to the left to take a peek at the wall and saw that it had mended itself. Almost looks as if nothing had ever happened. I took another bite of the lettuce in hand and thought that that was in fact, pretty nifty.

“Alrighty, Spike I’m going to need you to help Tick here out. He needs to visit Rarity today. He’s new around here.”

Spike looked up from his gem pile, the crunches evident as he talked with his mouth full, “So you want me to show him around Ponyville, Twi?”

Twilight nodded, “Basically. That way he can get his bearings.”

My excitement grew at spending more time with Spike, maybe I'll ask if he can breathe fire! Or maybe… ASK HIM IF HE CAN FLY!! I was actually excited about something. Huh, go figure. I took another bite of the lettuce, this meal I’ll let you know, did nothing to satiate my omnivorous hunger,

“Rarity’s place ain’t that far is it?”

Spike waved a sharpened claw, “Naw, she’s like, a twenty minute jog from here actually.”

Great. More walking.

O.o.O.o.O

The ponies here in Ponyville - located in Ponyville Equestria, never cease to amaze me with their color and builds. It’s like a really quirky car meet. A hotrod here, a sleeper there and finally just in the back under all the bodies is just a fuckin Toyota Camry or something.

It felt like I was playing Where's Waldo, but instead of a random guy with Harry Potter Glasses and a pin striped shirt, I’m practically guessing what kind of Pony imma find next.

For example.

Spike and I left the treehouse shortly after the aforementioned drake got the A-Okay to go. Upon exiting the treehouse I watched in dumbfounded shock as a fluffy pink horse went from left peripheral to right peripheral frolicking. Spike and I shared a look when we couldn’t see said horse anymore, shrugging as we started our walk. If that wasn’t enough, when we passed by the clock tower, Spike stuck an arm out to halt my steps so that the employee of the Tower could close it down.

I guess he also stopped me from getting trampled too. Turns out that guy's name is Dr Whooves. He works there full time. It ain’t TARDIS but for fucks sake I was laughing about it for a minute.

When we passed Sugarcube Corner, Spike and I started talking to each other about Ponyville,

“So. Whatcha think so far Tick?”

I lazily looked at the drake, his little hobble amusing to me, “Hate it here. Hurts my eyes.”

Spike chortled a response, “Yeah, you should see Canterlot. This is technically the Town away from the City.” As he said so, he pointed as we passed by Sugarcube Corner, following the direction I could see in the distance of what was a fairly large city. Just barely, I could also catch a glimpse of a Castle, and around it were Pegasi who were flying amidst the top.

Poking a cheek with my tongue, I shrugged, “That’s actually dope. Never seen a castle up close, so that's something new. You been there before?”

Spike nodded, “Mhmm, every year there's an event called the Great Galloping Gala. Wasn’t able to go last year, but this year Twilight said it was alright for me to go. She said I was to be their Chauffeur.”

I oooo’d at his statement, “Ooooooooo~ Sounds like someone’s important. You said it happens every year right? When’s that taking place?”

Spike rubbed his chin, “Twilight ain’t good with dates, neither am I. But I think Rarity might know. She’s making the dresses for everyone including some fancy customers from Canterlot.”

Huh the more you know I guess. Slowing my pace to match with Spike I hissed aloud when I stepped on something wrong, stopping completely to check the damage. It was a sharp piece of gravel stuck just below my big toe. I pulled it out and tossed the rock to the side,

“Fucking - stupid rocks.”

Spike cackled at that.

We walked around for a little bit more, the hustle and bustle of the food court dying down as we walked now through the residential district. We passed by the dirt road that led to Fluttershy's house. I gazed at the direction as we went, wondering just how that mare was able to be so far away from everyone but still be a part of everything.

Then the fact checks rolled in, One; she’s a pegasus - Two; her house is practically filled to the brim with animals.

My head naturally bore straight ahead when Spyke started rambling about his favorite gems. It was an engaging conversation because on one hand, although not a fully grown dragon, Spike was still one essentially. I begged him the question of what do gems taste like, and he told me to the dragons tastebuds, they taste like what fruits would to a pony. So when I asked him afterwards does a ruby taste like a cherry, and hearing his positive response on the matter -

Mind blown.

“How does Twilight afford all the gems though.” I asked the drake.

Spike looked up and laughed, “She don’t pay for them dummy, she gets them from a mine.”

My eyes bulged from their sockets, “Dude no fucking WAY thats real.”

Spike snorted with a smile, two puffs of gray smoke coming from his nostrils as he nodded, “Way. And get this, but don’t tell nopony,” He beckoned me to bend down, which I did, “I have a secret mine of my own.”

I gasped as y'know, Spike is young, “Awww sick. So it's your little dragon hoard right?”

He triumphantly pounded his scaly chest, “My own little stash mhmm!”

I offered him a fist bump which he reciprocated, “Promise, your stash secret is safe with me.”

We talked a little more as the houses started to thin. We had gotten around to the topic of Rarity when I felt a presence watching me. While Spike was talking, I craned a look around, even walking backwards, careful I didn’t step on the small dragon. When I turned back around I was met face to face with a yellow cross eyed pegasus.

I practically tripped and fell atoop her, cus yet again, stepped on a ferocious pebble and lost my footing. Spike wobbled over,

“Tick you good?”

I groaned and held my head, I was far from good, “Yeah. Peachy.” I opened my eyes and saw a familiar set of eyes. I’ve actually already met this one. Her name was Derpy Hooves. Which fits her bill as she was walleye’d most the time. She was wearing a satchel that had muffins wrapped neatly in plastic bags tied off with pink ribbons.

Derpy gasped aloud, zipping over to check on me, “Goodness, so sorry about that!”

I couldn’t be mad at her. My ancestors wouldn’t allow it, “Miss Hooves, it’s fine. We met yesterday, remember? Outside Sugarcube Corner?”

Ah that’s right, I forgot to mention this. So we met yesterday when AJ and Dash were escorting me to Twilights. It was a similar encounter as to where she practically crashed into me and I’m the one eating dirt. Such things I would consider now are a common occurrence and will be continuing forward. She was in a hurry and I wasn’t paying attention, shit happens.

Derpy’s eyes rolled around like one of those false sets of eyeballs you’d find on a cheap toy, her hoof rubbing the bottom of her muzzle, “Oh that’s right! You were with Rainbow Dash and Applejack the other day right?”

When I nodded, Derpy laughed, “Man we gotta stop running into each other like this! Also, Derpy is fine, the whole Miss Hooves makes me feel old.”

Derpy looked down with one of her eyes, noticing Spike who waved at her, “Heya Derpy.”

She smiled brightly, the brightest I’ve seen since Pinkie and lifted up Spike with a hug, “Heya Spike, OH HERE,” She reached into her satchel with one of free hooves, handing Spike a wrapped muffin,

“Rarity wanted me to give ya one of these for your help the other day!”

Oh this, I get it now. I gave a look at Spike, smirking almost ear to ear, “Special Somepony huh?” The drake immediately grew red in the face, and he kicked some gravel my way which harmlessly bounced off my leg.

“Shut up. Its not like that…” Uh-huh keep dreaming you little rascal. I turned to Derpy and grabbed her attention,

“Hey, know this might be counter intuitive but how close are we to Rarity’s?”

Derpy hummed aloud, pivoting in midair, “It would be…. There, that direction!” I glanced over her shoulder, noticing a carousel. Oh that's fun. I patted her on the shoulder, or what I assume to be the ponies shoulder and gestured to spike to follow,

“Come little one. Your girlfriend awaits.”

Spike practically hissed as he caught up, the motion of running cutting the hisses off midway, “Tick it ain’t like that, c’mon!”

I cackled as we made our way up to the building, “I’m just messing with ya bud, relax.”

One key piece of info I forgot to mention while the whole, getting transported to Equestria, thing happened. I couldn’t read anything. The equines here had seemingly another language they wrote in, but spoke perfect English. A few oddities here and there but the overall gist was English.

“Spike, what's the sign say up there?” I said pointing above to the sign that hung around the outer rim of the building. Spike looked up and said, “Caro-sell- Boo-teek?”

Ah so she owned a shop named Carousel Boutique fucking fantastic.

I will let you know right now, If Rarity has some sort of Business woman sales rhyme, there will be hell to pay. The whole building was actually a very fancy looking carousel. Although, it looked like something my grandma would have. You'd wind it up and it would make some sort of old tune play. Minus the horses.

With my courage steeled, and pride tucked away, I walked up to the dollhouse and knocked. Three simple raps, and it took that long for Rarity to actually appear.

If I were to comment on anything about her appearance, then I would say that she looked fancy. But me trying to look at a horse, excuse, pony, that has make-up on, is kind of strange. Nonetheless, in standards of if she looked the part, then yes, she did.

A glow had engulfed the door, gracefully opening it to reveal the white and indigo unicorn standing before me,

“Ah, welcome to Carousel Boutique! Where everything is sl-”

Nopenopenopenope, that's the beginning to a godawful rhyme, “Let me just stop you right there. Do, NOT, continue. PLEASE.”

Rarity blinked and sized me up, which she hadn't done before, “Oh. It's you. You're late.”

I sighed, “In this case, it appears I am fashionably late. May I come in?” Rarity stepped aside, allowing me entry into her abode. Spike followed shortly after, waving at the unicorn. After they shared a greeting the drake nudged my pant leg,

“Hey Imma go that-away, if you need anything, holler.” He was drooling after looking in a particular direction, looking that way my facial features flattened when I saw a large pile of jewels sitting on a fancy white dresser.

Figures the drake goes slack jawed at the sight of gems.

If I were to quip, if the place was roomy or not, know that it was quite… Compact. Now, before you get all judgemental on me, I'm in a fucking Toy right now. What do you expect me to say? Rather, whaddya expect me to do?

Stick a pole through one of her mannequins and dash around in a circle? Actually might do that now. It is a carousel after all.

“Tick, this way.”

I snapped from my thoughts and looked around to find Rarity trotting away,

“Oh what, I can't look at the splendor of your home?”

Rarity stopped and turned, “No. Look all you want. But I am on a crunch for time. Not to mention, the time we lost traveling with Twilight.”

“Aww… You care about me.”

Rarity scoffed, flipping her hair dramatically,

“Hardly the case. Now, be a dear and follow?”

I bowed, “Of course, Milady.”

Another long story short, we walked to a portion of her home specifically designed for “making” clothes. Not clothes for me, oh no, clothes for ponies. There were hundreds of dresses and suits just lined against several mannequins, already to the point of perfection and ready to be sold.

Rarity sat me down and went away to go collect her dress making shit. When she came back, I was crouching down, poking at what I thought was a pure gold suit.

“Darling, please do not touch. The last thing I wish to hear is you getting a smudge on the dresses.”

I snorted, cocking my head so I could get a better view of the suit, “Oh don't get your panties in a bunch. If I wanted to break some shit, I would've.”

“Tick.”

I sighed, “Right. Plant my ass in the seat. Gotcha.”

So that's what I did, planting my overly large ass into a way to small seat. Almost immediately, Rarity started measuring different sections, her magic glowing in different portions of the tape, pen and notepad she was carrying.

Her eyes widened and squinted towards some portions, she was even nice enough to measure my foot and shoe. Now, I am happy. NEW SHOES.

“Tick, would you mind removing this… Shirt, Is it?”

I raised a brow, “What next. My pants?”

“Funny. Shirt. Off now.”

I saluted, “Yes mam!”

I quickly unbuttened the shirt and tossed it away, putting my hands into my pants pocketses. Rarity sighed and went back to measuring as she had done before. But this time, she had a confused and rather curious look when she finished.

“Alright. So, you need some new upper and lower… Portions…” She said as I buttoned my shirt, “This won't take too long to make. Nothing short of making that article for a Minotaur once. Dependent on your color scheme, will declare how long it should take.”

I shrugged, standing so I could roll my shoulders, “I'm not picky. But I would ask that your expertise come forward for the colors.”

Rarity smiled, “Keep up that attitude and I might take that as a compliment. Nonetheless, It would be my pleasure.”

And again with the references, “Uh-huh. Thanks Rarity. Say how much do I need to pay you for this. I don’t have money now but I can probably scrape something together?”

Rarity nodded, “Oh worry not. Celestia came by.”

Damn.

“She did?”

Rarity nodded, “Quite. Left me a sum for now payments and those of the future. But regard that of not. I wouldn't dare make you pay me.”

I raised a boastful question, “And why is that?”

The white mare batted her lashes and chose to turn to her work, “I wouldn't take it darling. It's not in my nature to.”

I chuckled, “Ah. A generous dressmaker then.”

Rarity giggled, “Quite. Now, Because of you, I'm busy. So shoo!”

I raised my hands in defense and walked away, “Alright. Alright. Do you need me for anything before I go?”

Rarity had been collecting materials for making the shoe, but stopped, “Oh. Well, no. Actually…” She blinked and shook her muzzle, “Nothing of your concern, Tick.”

I raised a brow, “I hope you do know I'm going to berate you until you tell me right?”

Rarity looked up, “Really?”

“Indeed. It’s the least I can do for making me some clothes.”

She sighed, “Well in that case, Tick, I can finish your clothing in a matter of minutes. It doesn't require effort. If you are available, I need you to pick up my little sister from her school. By the time you get back, it should be done.”

I chuckled, “You actually trust me to do that?”

Rarity nodded, “Yes. I mean, otherwise you'd have to face the wrath of Princess Celestia no doubt if you harmed her in any way.”

You bitch.

“On top of that, you'd have to face me too.”

I gave her a questionable look, “Again with the threats, Miss Rarity. Keep that attitude up, and I would actually be afraid.”

“Regardless, could you do it for me Tick?”

With a sigh, I nodded, earning a grateful smile from the unicorn,

“Can you direct me where it is? I have no fucking idea how to navigate about town.”

Rarity winked, “All you needed was to ask.”

She turned and went to pester Spike for a minute. When she came back she had in her magic - a map. While needle and thread worked in the background; she talked with me about where to go and how to get to where her sister was. After which I pocketed the map and set out closing the door to the Boutique.

O.o.O.o.O

“And with that, have a good weekend! Class Dismissed!”

A school bell signaled the end of the day, allowing fillies and young colts alike to leave. Some left with their mothers, others with fathers. Some left without parents at all. But a few of them stuck around, supposedly two of them waiting on the third,

“How ‘bout your place then? Mah sis is cleaning today. Can’t do it there.”

“What?! Applejack is doing that TODAY? Man…” A filly with a purple mane sighed, “Well if Sweetie Bell would hurry up, maybe her sister could let us sleep over.”

Another filly hopped out from the entrance of the school, “I don't know girls. She's been very adamant about letting you two over since we…”

“Shhh - We don't talk ‘bout that.”

“Oh of course Applebloom doesn’t want to talk about it.”

Sweetie Bell giggled, “Right. Well where is Rarity?”

Applebloom looked up and shrugged, “I dunno. Scootaloo said that she mighta forgot ‘bout us.”

Scootaloo pegged her friend on the shoulder, “Did not!” The other two looked between each other, smirking. It ended with all three laughing.

My job at the time was to observe. Not interfere. Maybe replace if need be. There had been talk of a new visitor in town. One who walks on two legs, the ponies here have said. We’ve been dying to meet him.

“Excuse me, which one of you is Sweetie Bell?”

Speak of the devil…

O.o.O.o.O

Author's Note

Oooooooooooh. Edgy Edgy. Necessary to have a build up though. Y'know I realized something after remaking some of these chapters actually, and thats the amount I have to fucking take out for it to make coherent sense. More to come soon

Also huge thank you for the likes and views ofc ofc, seeing this pop up in popular and featured once or twice made me grin ear to ear.

Hmmm, next question - Favorite villain. Could be movie, anime or even manga. Mine, I will have you know, is Clockwerk from Sly Cooper.

-Doood