On Pins and Needles

Trixie had not been having a good day. There were many reasons for this, as any day was rarely considered good by her impossible standards, but this one had been going particularly awfully. First, she had returned to find Ponyville in a state of utter chaos. This was bad enough, but Trixie had found it unsettling for less obvious reasons. She had intended to best Twilight Sparkle in another magic competition upon her arrival, and the purple librarian was nowhere to be found.

At the moment, the unicorn was passing by a gigantic house of cards, surrounded by a ring of spinning tops that orbited it in a planetary fashion. She had been wandering through the chaos for so long that not even this demonstration of absurdity fazed her. She merely regarded it with an annoyed scowl.

“Stupid nonsense,” she grunted as she kicked a rock from her path. The stone quickly transformed into an egg, which then hatched into crab that waved its pinchers threateningly at the unicorn. Trixie huffed, and trotted past the minuscule creature without even acknowledging its existence. There were larger, stranger things about that were currently absorbing her attention, which irritated her to no end because they would not allow her to focus on her favorite thing in the world: Herself.

The azure unicorn suddenly jumped as the sky was filled with bright flashes, each one accompanied by chiming pings. They seemed to crackle and fizzle, as if they were fireworks. It was all over in a moment, and when Trixie opened her eyes she saw that the streets were filled with the largest congregation of balloons the mare had ever seen. Every color, every shape and size imaginable. They hovered about, never drifting higher than the buildings they floated around.

The magician felt as if she had suddenly walked in on a birthday party epic proportions. This thought only stirred more annoyance in her. Since her recent fall from stardom, she had been reduced to performing as such events, and found the guests, (mainly foals) to be unbearable, loudmouthed brats who had about as much respect for her as she had for everypony else.

Somewhere on the edge of town, Ditzy “Derpy Hooves” Doo was happily waving a bubble wand back and forth over her head, producing a multitude of shining orbs that floated with aimless grace above her blonde-maned head. Nearby sat a pale-purple unicorn filly, who resembled her in that she both had the same mane and eye-color. She too was dipping a bubble wand into the pond of soap solution and mimicking the motions of the larger pony.

“Good one!” cried the Pegasus as she watched the filly make a larger bubble with her swirling eyes, “It’s shaped like a muffin!” Indeed it was, for quite a few of the bubbles they made were unlikely in shape. Ditzy had made a bubble in the shape of a prismatic triangle a few minutes earlier. The delighted smiles she and the filly bore suddenly faltered as a horrendously dark chuckle sounded off from the bushes. They turned around to see a wiry figure step out of the foliage, his unusual mouth in a broad grin. Dinky Doo, the filly, felt that there may have been something threatening about the newcomer, as he did not look at all pleasantly minded. Ditzy, however, merely gave him a friendly smile.

“Hey there, stranger!” she said innocently as she extended a hoof toward the tall, metallic-hued creature, “Welcome to Ponyville!” The creature’s smile grew wider as he grasped her hoof with his sinister fingers. The wall-eyed mare suddenly yelped in pain and jumped in the air. The creature laughed again, the countless pins in his cushion rattling with a faint jingle. Now Dinky was certain she did not like him.

“Wow,” Ditzy said as she tenderly rubbed her injured hoof, “You sure need a manicure. Do you want me to show you the spa?”

“Nope,” replied the creature as he produced a long pin from his cushion, eyeing the bubbles that floated about. He snickered as he thrust it into a cluster of the hovering objects. Ditzy’s smile fell as the bubble burst into droplets of soap.

“Hey,” she said with a frown, “Why’d you do that?”

“A friend of mine said I could,” the metal man said as he proceeded to pop several more bubbles out of the air. Ditzy’s frown grew in size.

“But…I made those…” The creature didn’t seem to care. He simply walked around her, his laugh growing in volume the more bubbles he popped. Dinky moved closer to the Pegasus as she watched the sharp needle jab through the air, her eyes wide with fear. Ditzy wrapped a foreleg around the filly as they shrank back from the metal man as he proceeded to pop every last one of the transparent balls of soap residue. A dull grayness began to take hold of the two equines, starting from the tips of their tails and gradually spreading across the rest of their bodies.

As the pair steadily grew more and more solemn, the Pincushion Man, by contrast, grew more joyous. At least until he ran out of bubbles to pop. Ditzy and Dinky were now entirely gray, their heads hung dejectedly, with their bubble wands laying beside them untouched. Realizing there was nothing left to pop, the Pincushion Man growled, and began to skulk off elsewhere.

It was a miracle itself in the fact that Trixie had been able to hear the bursting of balloons through the cacophony of yowling bushes and humming fish. It wasn’t so miraculous that she managed to hear a loud, grating laugh that surpassed everything else in volume. The very sound of the chaotic cackle sent a chill up her spine, and the mare’s constant sneer faded into a frightened grimace as her eyes looked around wildly for the source of the deep, dark voice. It was rather hard to find it as the world of Equestria had become nothing but colorful confusion. However, she didn’t need to search for long. The being from which the laughter emanated from came strolling through the backdrop of balloons, popping them with a variety of long, sharp pins.

Trixie’s fear subsided upon seeing him. She had witnessed a generous amount of disordered objects today, so the sight of a giant, walking pincushion didn’t affect her as it normally would. In fact, she found his overall appearance to be rather ridiculous. But she couldn’t help but feel a slight nervousness as he strolled up to her on his hooked feet and looked at her with his devious eyes.

“What have we here?” he mused as he adjusted the thimble on his head.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie,” came the curt reply. The giant pin grinned.

“Great and Powerful, huh?” he echoed, sounding a bit too derisive for Trixie’s taste. She narrowed her eyes threateningly at the metal being.

“Yes,” she announced snobbishly, “The Great and Powerful Trixie, the greatest mare in all of Equestria.” The Pincushion Man crossed his wiry arms.

“That so?”

“Of course,” said Trixie as she struck an intimidating pose, “I’m the mare who single-hoofedly defeated an Ursa Major and saved all of Hoofington from certain destruction. I’ve sent hordes of changelings fleeing with just my mere presence. I’m afraid of nothing! I…I…” Her voice died in her throat as he looked at the oversized pin that the Pincushion Man held pointed to her nose. Sweat began to drip down her forehead as she crossed her eyes to stare at its tip.

“What keeps a blimp in the air?” the Pincushion Man inquired.

“Hot air…?” squeaked the unicorn, unable to look away from the pointed object. The gigantic pin gave a sinister snicker.

“Yeah? Then what’s holdin’ you down?” He suddenly jabbed the metal spike towards her. Trixie jumped about three feet backwards, prompting a hearty laugh from the prickly creature.

“What’s the matter?” the metal man said with a villainous sneer, “Are you afraid of pins?” Trixie gulped loudly before replying.

"N-no…” This wasn’t technically a lie. Trixie wasn’t afraid of pins. She was terrified of needles. When she was a young filly, she had developed a bad ear infection and had to receive antibiotics via several large hypodermic needles. From that day onward she was mortified at the sight of anything that was needle-like. And unfortunately, pins bear a strong resemblance to needles. Suffice to say, she was very afraid of the pin now held in the metal claws of the Pincushion man. It was clear by the malevolent look on his face that he was aware of it.

“You sure you’re not afraid of pins?” said he, his mouth drawn into a terrifying smirk. Trixie’s shaking head was betrayed by her palled face and trembling knees. The unicorn suddenly donned a nervous grin as she pointed a hoof at something behind the metal creature.

“Hey, isn’t that Photo Finish?” she said, her voice cracking with each word. The Pincushion Man had no idea who Photo Finish was, nor did he care, as he was completely aware of the magician’s ruse. Even though he did not turn to look as Trixie hoped he would, the unicorn suddenly whirled around and bolted away. The prickly assortment of pins gave a round of wicked laughter as he gave chase after her.

Discord had secretly been watching from the labyrinth via a small wormhole he had created, the other side of which lay hidden in a bush near the scene of the crime. As of now, his mismatched teeth were exposed in a mirthful smile. Just as he had predicted, the alien was bringing about the most wonderful of chaos.