Chapters Hearts and Hooves and A Lot of Wrong Moves
There was nothing quite like waking up after a good night’s sleep. Ocellus knew the feeling all too well, and it was nothing like what she was feeling at the moment. While she preferred the soft beds of the School of Friendship to the slimy rocks of the Hive of old, she’d made a bad habit of falling asleep in her books. She never dreamed when her head was on the paper, always waking up in a panic but too tired to actually move and get into a proper sleeping position. She blamed it on Pharynx and his survival training. Blaming Pharynx for things was always a safe bet.
The knocking on her door woke her up.
“Ocellus? It’s time to get up. Everyone’s in the cafeteria already,” Smolder said. “See you there.”
“Ugh,” Ocellus groaned to no one in particular.
She rose up quickly, as fear gripped her heart for a moment, then relief. No drool on her study material this time. Headmare Starlight would never let hear the end of it if she damaged another book. After confirming she hadn’t gotten anything wet, another wave of panic rushed over her.
“What time is it?”
No response. The dragoness had already left.
Not even bothering to look at the clock, Ocellus flew out through the halls of the school, towards the cafeteria. Judging by the sunlight, it was probably still breakfast time. The last bit of anxiety finally left her body when she arrived. Smolder and Silverstream were sitting at their usual table, talking among themselves. Ocellus calmly grabbed a tray, got herself some breakfast, and went to sit with them.
“Good morning, Ocellus,” Silverstream started.
“Fall asleep in your books again?” Smolder asked.
“How can you tell?” the changeling took a tentative bite of some eggy bread, topped with strawberry yoghurt.
“You’ve still got some drool on your cheek right there.”
Ocellus wiped it off. At least it hadn’t dripped. “Oh. Yeah, I fell asleep. This literature study has really been taking it out of me.”
“What’s the study about?” Silverstream asked. “Shapeshifting magic throughout the ages?”
“You’d think so, but no. Headmare Starlight wanted me to gather all the information on the effects of sleep deprivation and their correlation with magic and friendship problems.”
Both of her friends present stared at her.
“What?” she asked.
“Do you think maybe Headmare Starlight is trying to tell you something?” Smolder asked.
“That I should focus more on magical problems and not just diplomacy? Sure, I thought of that ages ago.” She shrugged. “I mean, technically our Hive doesn’t need me as an ambassador, remember? Pretty much any changeling who’s spent a long time away from home can do that job. And that’s if Pharynx doesn’t want to do it.”
Silverstream and Smolder exchanged a glance.
“Well, I guess if there’s anything important to tell you, they’ll just tell you,” Silverstream said. “It’s not like you’re failing any classes.”
Ocellus shuddered. “Is that why Sandbar, Gallus, and Yona aren’t here? Are they studying?”
Again, the two exchanged a glance.
“No, Gallus is out for a field study, and Sandbar and Yona are out on a date.”
“A date? On a school day?” Ocellus swiveled her ears in confusion.
Smolder shook her head. “Umm, Ocellus? What day do you think today is?”
“It’s Monday, right?”
The dragon’s eyes widened. “Whoa, you really have been overdoing it. No, today’s Wednesday . Regular school’s only half a day today, and we have a home study day, remember? We basically have a day off.”
Now Ocellus felt her wings bunch up under her carapace. “What? That can’t be right. We already had a Wednesday.”
“Exactly, and now we’ve got another one,” Silverstream joked. “I hear in Manehattan they have one every week.”
“I know that,” Ocellus said. “But we had a full moon two weeks ago. So if today’s Wednesday, that means-” Her stomach knotted.
“Now she’s waking up,” Smolder said with a grin. “Welcome back to the living, Ocellus.”
Silverstream started counting on her claws. “Today’s the second Wednesday after the first full moon of Spring. It’s Hearts and Hooves Day.”
Ocellus froze in mid-bite. The first thing that moved was her left eyelid, twitching uncontrollably.
“Uh oh, I think we broke her,” Smolder said, waving a clawed hand in front of the girl’s face. “Ground control to Ocellus, do you copy?”
She snapped out of her reverie, and straight into a panic. “It’s Hearts and Hooves day, really?”
Silverstream nodded.
The changeling grabbed her head, breathing quickly. “That can’t be right. This has to be joke.” She slammed both hooves on the table, though that still sounded pretty soft. “That’s not funny, you two!”
“Sorry, but it’s not a joke,” Smolder said. “And we wouldn’t pull that kind of prank on you.”
“Yeah, I don’t think anyone would,” Silverstream added. “I mean, everyone knows how much you care about schedules and plans. That’s not the sort of thing you mess with.”
“Discord might,” Smolder noted.
“Sure, but that’s Discord. He’s not going to drop in on us today. He’s probably busy with Fluttershy or something.”
Ocellus kept on listening, and her heart sank down deeper and deeper by the second. “I can’t believe I missed Hearts and Hooves Day.”
“You didn’t miss it, exactly,” Smolder said. “It’s only ten in the morning.”
“It’s ten o’ clock already? The day’s half gone!” Ocellus threw her head back, wincing.
“So? It’s not like you have a special somepo-oh, wait, you kinda do now, huh?”
Ocellus glared at her dragon friend.
“Sorry, I forgot about Scoots for a second. You’re both so casual about the whole thing, it’s easy to forget you two are an item.”
Silverstream, evidently, had not forgotten. “And it’s your first Hearts and Hooves together, too. It’s not like you to forget a big day like that.”
“I didn’t forget what day Hearts and Hooves Day was, I forgot what day today was,” Ocellus objected. “Big difference. Not that it matters. I haven’t gotten Scutum anything, I couldn’t think of any nice gifts he’d like.”
“Is this even something you celebrate?” Smolder asked. “I mean, technically you’re celebrating two ponies accidentally poisoning each other, right?”
Ocellus sighed. “Doesn’t matter. It’s the thought that counts, and Hearts and Hooves is supposed to be a day to be together with the one you lo-” She stopped herself, regaining her composure. “It’s supposed to be a day to spend with your approved partner, and he’s mine.”
“Approved partner, huh? Way to be romantic about it,” Smolder snarked.
“You must have had something planned, though? A little outing? A cute peck on the cheek? A real declaration of love?” Silverstream fluttered her eyelids.
Smolder nodded in agreement. “Yeah, why not do all the sappy stuff from those romance books Professor Rarity made us read?”
“Because that’s not how a changeling is supposed to do things.” Ocellus sat back and put a hoof to her chest. “That’s not how I do things. I thought I had more time. I was planning to make my plans today, finalise them tomorrow, and then spend Hearts and Hooves Day with Scoots. I can’t believe I missed that much time just trying to study.”
“And losing sleep,” Smolder said.
“And worrying,” Silverstream added.
She almost dropped her head in her breakfast at that. “Gee, thanks. Okay, I can still do this. I can still make this Hearts and Hooves Day perfect. I’ve studied the Friendship Journal enough to know not to try all of this on my own, so… ca-can you help me, please?”
“Sure, we’ve got nothing to do today,” Smolder replied, with a nod from Silverstream. “But try to remember that this isn’t a big deal in the first place? This is Scutum you’re talking about here.”
“So? You don’t know him like I do.”
“But he’s a boy, and boys usually don’t do this sentimental stuff.”
Ocellus smiled. “Maybe not for themselves, but Scutum is different. He’s an artist, and a model. He knows what’s beautiful. And he’s probably got a perfect gift planned for me, too. I can’t let him down.”
Huh, that’s weird. There’s a lot more couples running around in Ponyville today.
Scutum had just gotten off the train when he noticed Ponyville’s change in scenery. It was always a silly place, sure, but some days were worse than others. Today was a new record.
All around, he saw mares walking together, stallions walking together, giggling and kissing each other. Here and there he even spotted a rare mare and stallion couple, which was downright outlandish in Ponyville, from what he’d seen of it. The taste of love hung in the air, of outward affection and sappiness.
What is this weird mix in the air?
I haven’t tasted this since my last expedition, and even then it was only on a holida-
Uh oh.
“Hey, Scutum!” a voice called out to him.
A familiar drawl, coming from a filly whose coat was bright yellow, mane and tail red. Scutum mentally reminded himself of the colours, and let his changeling senses take the girl in. Size, weight, hardness of hooves, softness of mane, approximate smell, and most of all colour.
It all registered, and for more than merely his eyes.
Still working. Colour’s still coming through.
“Oh, sorry, did I spook ya? Or are ya still doing that thing from the surgery?”
“Surgery thing,” he admitted. “It’s fine, I’m being silly. Yellow, red, green eyes, right?” he pointed at at each part to confirm.
He ended up looking down at himself in the process. Orange carapace, purple in the mane and tail area. Somehow he’d ended up with cosmetics that looked more like moth wings than the usual dragonfly elements in the Hive, he still didn’t know why. He knew he looked good, though, with his more bug-like and angular torso, since a lot of folks commented on it when they met him. He had a good shape to him, that’s what everyone said.
The colours, though, those worried him, still.
“Yup, still workin’.” She smiled brightly at him. Most of the ponies Ocellus had introduced him to knew about his condition, or his former condition, that is. They also knew it was supposed to be completely fixed by now, and as such he didn’t need to worry. Apple Bloom was one of those nicer ponies who didn’t mind him double-checking. “Have ya got a minute?”
“Sure, Apple Bloom. Is this about Ocellus?” Scutum wasn’t too close to her, but he knew the filly and Ocellus were friends, after that incident with Cozy Glow and a few other misadventures. He guessed that Apple Bloom was here with a message.
He was wrong.
“I’m looking for Rumble, have you seen him?”
His ears swiveled in confusion. “Rumble? No, I only got here a few minutes ago.”
“And you’re not meeting him today, I presume?”
“Wasn’t planning on it, but I think I forgot what day today was.”
“It’s Hearts and Hooves,” Apple Bloom said.
“So it’s… the second Wednesday of Spring?”
“Second Wednesday after the first full moon of Spring,” she clarified.
“And that’s why you’re looking for Rumble,” Scutum noted. “To celebrate Hearts and Hooves with.”
She looked away with a blush. “Well, I wanna give him a card , at least. And I wouldn’t mind if he gave me one, or any of the fillies in class. Or any of the colts. Come to think of it, I need to check what my odds are with the bookie.”
Scutum narrowed his eyes. “What odds?”
“That Rumble’s ga-oh, never mind, you wouldn’t know. Or I guess you probably would, but that’d be cheating. Anyway, bottom line is: he’s gone OWFL on us and all the girls in town are wondering why.”
“He’s gone awful?”
“Off Without a Filly’s Leave. Technical term.”
Scutum shrugged. “I couldn’t tell you where he is. Like I said, I only got here a little while ago, and I didn’t see him.”
“And he didn’t say anything to you? I heard him mention he was gonna do another shoot with you.”
“Yup, beachwear catalogue in Phillydelphia, junior sizes. He didn’t enjoy it too much, but he wasn’t upset or anything. He didn’t mention today, either.” Scutum snorted. “I wish he had; I might have remembered then.”
Apple Bloom perked up and gestured to his chest. “Oh yeah, Ocellus probably has somethin’ planned for you today. Don’t let me keep ya, then. Just make sure you tell Rumble all the fillies are looking for him and his friends?”
He blinked, trying to parse that whole message. “Wait, what? His friends, too?”
“Yeah, he ain’t the only one missing. Button Mash, Tender Taps, every colt in Ponyville’s plum disappeared and nobody seems to care. And I don’t know if you’re up to speed on it, but Rumble’s got a bad habit of playing ringleader in this’ere sort of shenanigans.”
Given how he acted during the photoshoots and what he heard from his brother/chaperone to said shoots, Scutum wasn’t surprised. Rumble was a nice enough kid, but he had a strong willpower and a sense of justice that rivalled that of Pharynx. Unfortunately, he also had a sense for drama. Not that it wasn’t justified, sometimes, but he wasn’t about to bring that up here. “Have you called the guards?”
Apple Bloom shook her head. “I asked Derpy Hooves about it, since she usually keeps an eye on the colts in town, and she said it’s fine. But I couldn’t squeeze more out of her. So, umm, if you see any Earth pony colts or Pegasus colts, spread the word, please? We just want the eligible bachelors to come out of hiding already.”
Scutum nodded, pondering. “Just Earth ponies and Pegasi? Not Unicorns?”
“There aren’t any Unicorn colts in Ponyville.”
“There’s two right there.” He pointed to Snips and Snails, who were walking along the main road, enjoying a taste of the plethora of chocolates that came with the holiday.
Neither of them was sharing their treats, with each other or with a girl.
Apple Bloom dismissed the remark. “I don’t think most fillies count them as ‘eligible’ for this type of discussion, if you catch my drift. It’s mostly Rumble and his friends we’re looking for. I’d ask ya to turn into a bloodhound or something, but I already tried tracking’em down with Winona, and apparently Rumble’s learned how to mask a scent. Even our boar Wilbur couldn’t find him, or any of the other ones.”
Scutum snorted out a laugh. “Yeah, that’ll be my fault. Rumble wanted to know some changeling tricks, you’re not gonna find him with a dog, or a boar. Sorry.”
“Not your fault, that’s just boy stuff. So, are ya planning anything with Ocellus today?”
“Not yet, but I can plan on the move. Have you seen her today yet?”
“No, she’ll be at school. Last I heard, she was diggin’ into the books real hard, so she might be kinda…”
Scutum sighed in sympathy. “Tired?”
“More like exhausted, is what I heard. Do you need me to run interference for you while you get ready?”
He smiled down at the filly. “No, you have your own business to attend to, and Ocellus doesn’t like surprises anyway. Thank you for the offer, though, and good luck on the search. I can’t promise I’ll find them, but I do promise if I find any of the boys, I’ll let them know you’re on the lookout.”
“Perfect. Thanks, Scoots!”
She turned tail and galloped off, no doubt checking another potential hiding spot for the boys.
Scutum rolled his eyes. “Okay, first things first.”
Cranky Doodle Donkey’s place was a ways away from Ponyville proper, being a former observation outpost for the Royal Guard. The road to it was flanked by hills, and the hills were adorned with various trees, perfect spot for an ambush or whatever sort of defenses the residents might want to erect.
It was also a good hiding spot, provided you were on friendly terms with Cranky, or his wife.
Both donkeys passed Scutum by as he went towards their house.
“Hello, Cranky Doodle, Matilda.”
“Hey, Scutum,” Cranky greeted.
“Out for the day?”
“Yup,” the donkey replied.
“We’re celebrating Hearts and Hooves in Canterlot, at the opera,” Matilda said.
“Got any house-sitters?” Scutum asked.
“Chestnut tree, third one on the left,” Cranky Doodle replied. “Please keep them watching the house from outside? I don’t want to pull anyone from my chimney like last time.”
“To be fair, Pinkie usually makes it through easy enough,” Matilda noted.
“Yeah. Her haunches are getting thicker,” he replied.
Matilda gave him a friendly slap against the shoulder.
Scutum bid them good day and went up to the chestnut tree he’d been pointed to. Looking up, he couldn’t spot anything out of the ordinary. He knocked on the trunk three times, in a particular pattern he’d been told was Royal Guard official code.
“What’s the password?” the tree asked.
“A horse is a horse, of course, by curse. The steed that did the deed is indeed a cad. But worse is the curse that made the horse now glad.”
The voice in the tree asked, “Is that the password?”
“It is now,” another voice replied.
The changeling rolled his eyes. “Come on guys, it’s Scutum. Who’s up there?”
“Are you alone?” the first voice whispered.
He sighed with a smile. “Yes, I’m alone. Come on out, please, ponies are worried sick.”
Rumble came gliding out of the tree, followed by Button Mash sliding down the trunk like a firestation pole.
“It’s just you two? Where’s that dancer kid, Tender Taps?”
“He’s scouting the perimeter, making sure no one’s tailing us,” Button Mash replied. “You know, since he’s light on his hooves.”
Scutum suppressed a smirk. Pharynx would have loved these kids. His mind started wandering to what a playdate with them and the Hive’s young ‘lings might look like. He quickly dispelled that thought, though, as Pharynx would never let his own forces be outsmarted by ponies, and as such would probably cheat.
“Good thinking,” Scutum said. “And the other boys?”
“We sent Live Wire and Brass Tack out for supplies, so we have some food coming in,” Button Mash said.
He couldn’t quite connect a face to the names, but he knew those two were Unicorns, at least. “Invisibility spells?”
Rumble beamed. “Yup.”
“Did you seriously force all the boys in Ponyville to hide from the girls, Rumble?”
“No.” Rumble pouted. “That would be awful. I only suggested it, and once a lot of the boys realised what they were in for, they joined in. I didn’t get any of the boys who’ve already got a special somepony, or any of the weaker ones who might tell on us.” He glared at nothing in particular. “The last thing we need is turncoats in our operation.”
“Speaking of which, you weren’t followed, were you?” Button Mash asked.
He looked down at the colt. “Come on, this is me you’re talking to. Nopony follows a changeling if he doesn’t want to be followed. You’re clear. But why go through all this effort? It’s just a holiday.”
“Just a holiday where the girls are likely to try and poison you,” Rumble argued.
“Yeah, you weren’t around last time,” Button Mash said. “The Cutie Mark Crusaders know how to make a love poison, and they’ve used it before.”
“I highly doubt they’d do that again, then.”
“I know, that’s exactly what we’re afraid of!” Rumble argued. “Ever since Zecora got arrested for hate speech, Apple Bloom’s been learning potion making from Meadowbrook.”
“And Meadowbrook doesn’t play around or make mistakes like Zecora did,” Button Mash added, shuddering. “She’s old-school. Waaay old-school.”
Scutum went to sit in between the boys. “Okay, be honest with me here. Do you really think they’re planning to poison you?”
“Yes,” both of them replied in perfect sync.
“And even if they’re not, why would we want to spend Hearts and Hooves with any of the fillies in town? Especially the Cutie Mark Crusaders?” Rumble asked.
“They seem to like you,” Scutum noted. “Are they mean?”
“They’re not bullies, no, not usually. But they don’t leave you alone when you want them to. They can’t take a hint, and they expect boys to take every single hint and read their minds or something.” Button Mash shuddered.
“You weren’t there when they asked me to help with their camp. Or when I got roped into their camp in the first place. All those girls do is put me down, and pretend like they know better. I’m sorry, but I don’t need that kind of grief from a girl. I get it enough from Thunderlane. Just because he’s okay with girls driving him straight into the hospital, doesn’t mean I need to risk it.”
Scutum had noticed that. Rumble was a decent enough model, good at following directions, not bad at showpony stuff. But when you got him alone and talking, he obviously had issues with his brother, and with girls. The changeling had tried, gently, to offer advice on the matter, as one professional to another, but so far nothing had stuck.
In hindsight, the age difference was probably a stumbling block there.
“Where is Thunderlane, anyway?”
“In Canterlot, doing a Wonderbolts derby. And good riddance.”
“Come on, kiddo, you know you don’t mean that. Your brother’s just looking out for you.”
“No, he’s not. He wants me on a leash, doing anything that isn’t flying, and he’s got a whole bunch of ponies on his side. Why shouldn’t I get some ponies on mine?”
Button Mash nodded. “It’s not easy for colts in Ponyville, and it’s getting harder every day. Half the time nopony even realises how many Unicorn colts there are, it’s like they’re invisible. You know, when they’re not… turning invisible for their own safety.”
The counterfeit penny finally dropped for Scutum. “Ah. So this is a protest action, then.”
The two colts exchanged a glance, shrugged, then nodded.
“Fine. I can respect that.”
“You’re not gonna rat us out?” Button asked.
“Oh, I wasn’t planning to, no matter what. I only wanted to make sure you guys are all safe. Someone’s gotta keep an eye on you.”
“Derpy Hooves knows where we are,” Rumble noted. “At least you can trust her.”
“Good. I don’t agree with it, I think you’re making a mistake, but I can respect it.”
“Thanks,” Button Mash said.
“Yeah, you should hang out with Thunderlane more, maybe that’ll rub off on him.” Rumble blinked and thought about that for a second. “Actually, on second thought, he might rub off on you. Stay away from my brother, please?”
“I will. But can you promise to at least treat the girls in town normally when there’s no holiday?”
“No offense, but I don’t think you know what ‘normal’ is for Ponyville fillies. It’s not like you and Ocellus,” Rumble said.
“Wait, really? You’re dating Ocellus?” Button Mash asked. “I didn’t know that.”
Scutum chuckled. “Guess I don’t swing by often enough. Yeah, we’re… together, sort of. Ever since that thing in Geneighva, we’ve been, umm… special some-changelings, I guess you’d call it?”
“You’re lucky,” Rumble started. “Ocellus doesn’t boss you around, or try to humiliate you into doing things her way.”
He paused, hearing the sincerity in Rumble’s voice. The boy sounded hurt, and tired, emotionally speaking. Then again, that may have been one of the other changeling senses kicking in, specifically the one that singled out easy targets for replacing. “Is that what the Cutie Mark Crusaders do to you two?”
“It feels like it.”
“Maybe you should tell them that,” Scutum suggested.
“Maybe we have, and they didn’t listen,” Rumble argued.
“That bad, huh?”
“Worse.” The boys both grimaced. “But, umm, come to think of it, is that why you like her?”
“What do you mean?”
“You know, why you two are together,” Rumble said. “Is it because she’s nice to you?”
Scutum shrugged. “Being nice is a default. You can’t be with someone who isn’t nice to you, but being nice isn’t the reason, no. It’s… a couple of reasons.”
“But you’re not doing anything with her today?”
“I was going to wait until school’s out. Now that you mention it, why aren’t you in school? Is it a bank holiday?”
“It’s Wednesday. Afternoons off,” Button Mash replied. “And we started class early in the morning, so we stopped before lunch.”
“Oh, right. Forgot that part. I guess I could try to find a gift, then.”
“You still haven’t answered the question, though. Why does it work for you?”
“Well, for starters, I’m older than you two, and so is Ocellus. Things happen when you grow up, and some of those things make it easier to pair up with someone. You start seeing things differently, feeling differently. And why Ocellus?” He grinned. “I guess you’re going to have to learn how to look for a girl that isn’t going to drive you insane at some point.”
“Which’ll probably be from outside of Ponyville,” Rumble snarked.
“Anyway,” Scutum continued. “It’s best if you have some idea of where to start. If you really want to know what to look for in a girl, here’s what’s worked for me so far.”
Author's Note
Four chapters to this one. Originally I was going to write a fic with Bastion and Apple Bloom as adults, with Apple Bloom getting a sketchy diagnosis and Diamond Tiara rushing across Ponyville to try and find some solution, with flashbacks to indicate what had happened over the years. It was too ambitious, though, and wouldn't have worked in context.
So I settled on this, instead. Nice little bit of hinted romance, some background changes to Ponyville to contrast with Ocellus and Scutum growing up and growing closer together, and actually giving Scutum some character after his swift introduction and cameo. His handicap is given more background from his own perspective, and his personality is more fleshed out, especially in regards to why he and Ocellus are a match.
It still has some jabs at the show and the fandom, though, like how Rumble is treated in certain stories, or the Unicorn colts, or even Unicorns in general. I think portraying that through the main characters' perception of it gives it a nice balance.
Hearts and Hooves and A Lot of Wrong Moves
The girls moved into Smolder’s room for privacy’s sake, since the dragoness was, out of all of them, the girl with the single highest sense of privacy, something Ocellus suspected was linked to draconic hoard-making. Her paper on the subject was still being peer-reviewed.
“Okay, so you need to find a good gift for Scutum, fast,” Smolder started, pacing around her room. “That’s pretty easy: figure out his type first.”
Ocellus blinked. Her head lolled off to the front a bit before she snapped awake. “His type?”
“Yeah, his type. What does he like most? Emerald, ruby, sapphires? He likes you, so it’s probably emeralds, right?”
His type, gem-wise. Gems would be nice as a gift, and Ponyville had a lot of options. The town still had a lot of antique shops, and all the stuff was pretty cheap now that the antiquarians were moving out to places with fewer earthquakes. “I’m not sure. And I don’t think jewelry is really his thing.”
“Oh!” Silverstream jumped up. “There’s a glassblower not far from Carroussel Boutique, they do custom art pieces. You could ask for a glass sculpture with your colours.”
That sounded perfect. Or at least, it would have been, five days earlier.
“I’m pretty sure that sort of thing takes time, which I don’t have.”
Smolder shrugged. “You could always make something yourself. How about writing a poem?”
“I’ve tried poetry, it doesn’t work out.” Ocellus blushed.
“Can’t be that bad,” Silverstream offered.
“Everything I write comes out as a checklist.”
“Okay, guess it can.”
Smolder counted on her claws. “So no gems, no poetry. That just leaves magma baths. Lots of boys like to relax in liquid hot lava. Well, you know, if you’re fireproof and all.”
Ocellus nodded, before rubbing her eyes. There was a throbbing starting behind her left ear. “A spa date would be a good idea… if it was any other day. I’m pretty sure they’ll be booked.”
The dragon girl flew up and shrugged her shoulders. “I’m all out of ideas, then.”
Ocellus blinked and sighed. The room was darker than she remembered, it made her sleepy. “Silverstream? What do you think I should do?”
Silverstream held up a finger. “You know what they say: the love of a boy goes through his stomach.”
Ocellus chuckled nervously. “Eheh, that’s nice, but, um, please never say that when there are other changelings around? A lot of them take things a bit too literally.”
“Really?”
She shuddered. “You should have seen the beauty pageant when the judges told us to ‘change into our bathing suits.’ Lots of flopping on the ground.”
Smolder stared in surprise. “Wow. So we’re talking one-pieces only, right? Otherwise, how does that even work when you turn into a two-piece? Where does your mouth go? And what happens to your bu-”
“Not important right now!” Ocellus shouted, mostly to keep herself awake. “What kind of food is good? What’s romantic?”
“Salmon eggs?” Silverstream suggested. “That’s a royal family favourite.”
Ocellus blushed. “M-maybe not a good idea.”
“Umm, omelettes are good, if you want something a little rustic?”
“No.”
“Quiche? That’s nice and in the middle, not too fancy, not too common. We always have quiche on big events with the public. Everyone likes quiche.”
Ocellus groaned. “Is there anything that doesn’t have eggs in it?”
“Why do you have a problem with eggs?” Silverstream asked. “Does Scutum have an issue with eggs?”
“Not exactly, but it’s our first Hearts and Hooves Day together,” Ocellus reasoned. “The idea of him and me having eggs together feels a little inappropriate. He’s smart enough to get the wrong idea, remember?”
Silverstream, thankfully, caught her meaning. “Oh. Oops. You can go flying somewhere romantic. No crowds, enjoy the scenery.”
“That’s not a gift; that’s a walk with extra steps,” Smolder objected. “Unless you go someplace special, it doesn’t mean anything.”
“And I don’t have anywhere special on short notice,” Ocellus noted.
Silverstream pondered that. “I guess going scuba diving is out of the question, then, too?”
“Ocellus doesn’t have scuba gear,” Smolder said with a roll of the eyes.
“I don’t need it, either,” Ocellus added. “Shapeshifter, remember?”
“Oh yeah…”
This was, however, the best idea she’d heard so far, if not for one niggling problem. “Going swimming would be a good idea, but it’d have to be somewhere around Ponyville, which means it’s somewhere close to the Everfree Forest.”
“And most things in there don’t like changelings,” Silverstream realised.
“Sure they do. Especially with mustard and ketchup,” Smolder joked.
Ocellus rubbed her head. She couldn’t think of any ideas.
“Are you okay, Ocellus?” Silverstream asked.
“Yes. No. I think I am. I can see the problem now, at least. I can’t ask for any good ideas because you’re not me. I need to think of something. And I can’t think when I’m this tired.”
Silverstream went to pat her on the shoulder. “We have the rest of the day off. You can take a nap and think about it when you’ve rested. You can’t risk burning yourself out like this.”
Ocellus nodded. “You’re right.”
“Good. We’ll go into Ponyville and if we see Scutum we can just-”
“I need to get to Sugarcube Corner. One goblet of the Brown Bear Double Decker Coffee Guarana Stacker will get me through the day and I won’t be wasting time with sleep. Thanks, Silverstream.”
“Uh… you’re welcome?”
As wobbly as a bumblebee drunk on mead, Ocellus flitted out through the corridors, out towards Ponyville.
Scutum regarded the crowds walking along the main shopping street of Ponyville, trying to come up with ideas for a gift. His sense of shape reached out here and there, picking up size, weight, proportionality. His sense of love, as a taste, likewise reached out idly, to find anything to latch unto.
His attention settled on a married couple: a buff Pegasus stallion and a svelte-looking mare.
They were window-shopping from the looks of it, and teasing each other. She already had a bag with things, he appeared to be looking for something to get for himself.
They were definitely married, if recently: the magic of the ceremony still lingered strongly around the two. Newlyweds were brighter like that, or hotter. Spouses of a few years had a more blinking presence about them.
He tried not to stare, and closed his eyes instead, thinking.
Is that gonna be me in a couple of years?
Is that gonna be us?
Opening his eyes again for a quick glance, he got more details. The husband was a painter, given the splotches around his hooves. That got the ideas flowing, at least.
What if I got her a painting? She likes to swim, maybe an ocean view would be good?
No, she’d worry about where to put it. The Hive doesn’t have a lot of straight walls, so it’d be too easy to fall.
And going by his physique and that characteristic walk, he was a former Royal Guard.
Workout gear, perhaps? That’s just silly. Ocellus is in fine shape, if anything she’s a little on the thin side now, after her last growth spurt. Nothing for exercise, she’d overdo it or she’d feel guilty for taking a break.
The wife, then, had subtle hints of a herbal aroma around her, and her cutie mark had an essence of boiling water, implying something like a tea merchant. He didn’t recognise the mare, or the mark, but the tea got him thinking.
There’s an idea. I could get Ocellus a tea set, maybe?
No, she can’t use that around school, not with her yak friend. She’d be too worried about it breaking.
And she can’t keep it at the Hive with her little siblings running around. No, nothing fragile.
Some teabags, maybe, something to help keep her calm? Next year, for sure, but this is our first year together, it should be something to mark the occasion, something lasting. She wouldn’t want to drink a gift like that.
Abandoning the high street, he went to sit on a bench and took out a locket from under his wingshields.
In it, he had a picture of him and Ocellus, together in Geneighva. They both smiled warmly, cheeks pressed together, grabbing each other’s sides to pull tight.
He’d never felt happier, or warmer.
The sense of shape that changelings had was a difficult one to explain to other species, at least the ones who didn’t have transmutation magic. As Scutum understood it, changelings could detect identity as a separate notion, even register small changes due to motion.
And with that sense of shape came a sense of rightness, of belonging, of things fitting together well or not at all.
That picture represented a few minutes of things feeling more right than ever, and the days that followed had been a pleasant afterglow.
We’ll always have Geneighva.
That had been the start of it, really. They spent more time together, when they could, and they talked about important things. One such important thing was how they saw their future, and the way they saw it was, for now, together.
Scutum was happy when Ocellus was close by, and she felt the same about him.
That picture was the closest they’d been so far.
I can’t even remember feeling someone so soft, so warm.
Warm and soft, warm and soft. What about a spa date? No, they’ll be booked to the gills today, and Ocellus doesn’t like crowds.
A flight around Rainbow Falls? No, Apple Bloom said she’s tired from studying, nothing exhausting.
We could go underwater somewhere, maybe? But that’ll be in the dark, then, she might get drowsy.
Then he spotted another pair, though not a married couple. Not even dating, he realised, though they were acquaintances.
Soft and warm?
One was a blue Pegasus mare, the other a white Unicorn stallion.
Rainbow Dash the Wonderbolt, and Mister Sage, the print pony.
That’s worth a shot.
He trotted up to them, ears perked. He must have forgotten to switch his senses back to normal, because he accidentally caught the tail end of their conversation.
“You can’t just leave! Where would you even go?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“Back to the old country, up North,” Sage replied.
Wait, what?
“But isn’t that deer country now?”
“Yeah.”
“So you’re okay with just not having any ponies around at all anymore?”
“It’s not like Pony -ville is any better,” Sage argued. “I can’t stay for much longer, Rainbow Dash, I just can’t. Ever since the yaks moved in three houses down, we get earthquakes every other week when they have their friends and family over. And I can’t say anything about it or I’ll get in trouble. I’ve already had to add protection spells to my shop.”
Scutum slowed down.
“Come on, that’s not fair,” Rainbow Dash objected.
“No, it’s not. Not to me, it isn’t. This is a real problem, that they’re causing, and I can’t do anything without getting accused of a crime. I just have to tolerate all this. But I can’t, and I can’t do anything to change it. That’s two out of three stress responses down, third one’s the only option.”
“But who’s gonna proofread my fanfics?”
“I have a Sending spell, Rainbow Dash. I’ll give you the address once I find a place, it’ll probably be a few months anyway. I’ve got a lot of shop to move. Speaking of which, a friendly face.”
Scutum froze. He thought he was being stealthy. “Umm, am I interrupting something?”
“Not at all,” Sage said with a smile. “If you’re looking for Ocellus, I haven’t seen her yet. And if you’re wanting to make another order for the Hive, the next delivery should be en route in two weeks. It’s been somewhat delayed due to… seismic activity.” That smile faded into a grumble.
“Right. New neighbours. Sorry about that. I guess we won’t be getting any more books from your shop, either, then? If you’re moving?”
Sage sighed. “You caught that, huh? I am sorry to say that I will be moving my business, and it will be moving to somewhere farther from the Hive. But I can still do custom orders, I’m sure. It’d be difficult, but feasible. Besides, there are plenty of other print shops in Equestria, and regular book shops that don’t have to print things on the spot.” He shook his head and chuckled mirthlessly. “You won’t miss me, I’m sure. Actually, you could probably set up shop at your Hive, if there are any volunteers.”
“I’ll be sure to ask, then.”
“Please do, I’ve still got time to do quick tutorials. And you don’t have to apologise for anything, for the record. You’re not the one quaking the ground. If anything, changelings have been my best customers in years. You’re more polite than a lot of ponies, these days. I would miss that. But you’re not here to listen to a Unicorn ramble, are you? You’re looking for something for Hearts and Hooves?”
“Yes, sir. I kind of forgot what day it was, so I was hoping…”
Scutum explained the situation to the stallion, and asked if Mister Sage could deliver.
Sage said ‘no.’
Ocellus went straight to the bakery, or as straight as she could with her eyes taking turns opening up. Breakfast had delayed the onset of fatigue somewhat, but it wasn’t a fix, and once her food had settled down she felt drowsier and drowsier by the second.
Thankfully, she knew where she could get a more lasting solution.
Wobbling through the doors of Sugarcube Corner, Ocellus was relieved to see that Scutum was not there yet. Missus Cake was going from table to table, serving couples their orders. When she saw the changeling girl, she greeted her jovially.
“Ocellus, hi! Happy Hearts and Hooves Day. Are you alone today, dear, or are you planning a surprise?”
Ocellus did her best not to squint. Her eyes wanted to rest so badly, but she couldn’t risk closing them for long. “Umm, I’m alone for now, but planning a surprise. I only need a quick boost first.”
“Been studying too hard again?”
“There is no ‘too hard’ when it comes to studying.”
“If you say so, dear. There’s an empty table in the corner, there, if you want to stay hidden.”
Ocellus went to sit and let out a sigh of relief. Soft, padded seats and walls, it almost made her nod off. She snapped awake.
“So, What do you need?” Missus Cake asked. “The usual?”
“No. I’ll have the Brown Bear Double Decker Coffee Guarana Stacker, please. A large one.”
Missus Cake flinched. “A-are you sure? Pinkie Pie only added that to the menu as a joke for Princess Twilight. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone drink that one large. Even you haven’t gone over a small one yet.”
“It’s an emergency.”
“And come to think of it, isn’t caffeine an insecticide in the first place? I’m sure that was a question on the last quiz we had…” the mare scratched her head, thinking.
“I’ll take my chances. I need to be awake today, and there’s only way to do that.”
“If you say so, dear.”
Ocellus nodded, and paid up front.
When the order came, Ocellus blew on it carefully, then took a sip.
Flash Bee honey, Saddle Arabian coffee, and rainforest guarana, which was basically stacking magically charged sugar upon caffeine upon caffeine, hence the name.
In an instant, her eyes stopped feeling heavy, her heart beat faster, and her headache went from gently pulsing to an insistent throbbing.
Perfect.
“Okay. Step one: stay awake. Step two: find something to get Scutum.”
“Oh, the orange boy?” Missus Cake asked. “I’ve seen him around, Pinkie Pie seems to think he’s nice. If you need ideas, I know one thing about boys: their love goes through the stomach. Do you know what his favorite treat is?”
Ocellus took another drink. The throbbing headache subsided, or levelled out, at least. “Does every mare in this town think that?”
“It’s true for most stallions. Although, now that you mention it, I am starting to wonder if that’s not something Spoiled Rich spread as a rumour to boost chocolate sales. Still, it’s a good place to start, isn’t it?”
Ocellus realised then that she hadn’t even mentioned Scutum’s favorite treat to her friends. “Maybe. His favorite used to be banana split, vanilla and chocolate ice only, no strawberry.”
“Oh.” The mare scrunched her nose. “Does he not like strawberry?”
“He does, but he used to like his food to be black and wh- never mind. Nowadays he likes dried fruit most. Dried strawberry, dried melon, dried pineapple…”
“Saddle Arabian treats, you mean?”
“Uhuh.”
“I don’t think we have those around here. This far north, any spare fruit we get is turned into jam.”
“Oh, I know. I wouldn’t give that to him anyway.”
“Why not?”
“N-no offense, but the whole ‘love goes through the stomach’ thing is kind of a sore spot for us changelings. We’re still not sure how to handle that, with how things have changed. We don’t have traditions, or rules. We didn’t even used to have parents the way you do, or private property, or money.”
“Oh, dear. I think I see your problem now. You’re not just dealing with personal questions, but historical ones, too. You want to do things traditionally, but you don’t have your own traditions yet, and pony traditions aren’t going to help you figure things out, are they?”
“Sorry.” Ocellus took another big sip of her caffeinated treat. Her heart gave out a protesting ‘thump,’ but she hid it. “That’s why I need to focus. I know I’m not supposed to be working today, but-”
Missus Cake kept her head on a swivel, always checking if anyone needed her. No further orders came. “No, that’s fine, deary, you don’t need to feel bad about that. Look at me: I do a lot of work today, and I’m glad to. And for what it’s worth, you and I are not the only po-err, creatures who are working on Hearts and Hooves. Rarity’s working, too.”
Ocellus took another sip, and almost spit it out when she realised.
“Rarity? Of course! Rarity would know what I can get, wouldn’t she?”
“She has been doing a lot of stallion’s fashion recently, and I hear she has her own special somepony now.” Missus Cake winked.
“Really? Who?”
“I have no idea, and even Pinkie Pie hasn’t figured it out yet. But that’s not important. What’s important is that Rarity knows a thing or two about boys.”
“And she knows a lot about nice things. Thank you, Missus Cake, you’re a lifesaver.”
With three big gulps, Ocellus downed the rest of her energy drink.
“Oh, my. That much coffee, I hope your heart doesn’t explode. Then again, I suppose you do have a spare.”
“That’s a myth, actually,” Ocellus corrected. “But don’t worry, if my heart starts acting up, I can just turn into something with a bigger one.”
“Ah. You learn something new every day.”
With that, Ocellus flew off, wings buzzing like an angry hornet.
Author's Note
So here's more of the background events in Ponyville, and how that affects the ponies in town as well as how a changeling might see these things. I wanted to convey the vibe of time passing and things changing while these two are trying to figure things out.
The drink's name is a reference to one of the songs I quite enjoy: Double Decker, by Liquido.
I think that's everything worth explaining. Still need to finish chapter 4 at the time of writing, but it's planned out, and at least halfway done now.
Hearts and Hooves and A Lot of Wrong Moves
Ocellus was hyped-up on caffeine and nerves by the time she got to Carroussel Boutique.
“Professor Rarity?”
She stopped when she saw the mare, and the other pony with her.
Or rather, Ocellus didn’t see the other pony, but she detected them. Her changeling shape-sense was telling her there were two ponies in the room, but she only saw one.
“Oh, hello, Ocellus. What can I do for you?” the Unicorn greeted, folding up some clothes in her magic.
Ocellus blinked, confused. “Umm… are you the only pony in here?”
“Yes,” Rarity replied. She put away a dress into a box and moved a rack out of the way to approach the girl. “There’s no one in the changing rooms, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“No, it’s just…” Ocellus shook her head. “You know how changelings can tell the shape of a thing, so we can turn into it?”
“Yes?”
“Well, that sense is telling me we’re not alone in here.” She tried to focus on the input. “There’s someone else in here, it feels like.”
“O-oh?” Rarity idly pushed up her mane, looking away. “And, just so we’re clear, are you sensing a colt or a filly?”
The signal was warped for some reason, she couldn’t place it. Her senses were telling her there were two ponies in the room, but the second signal was being blocked or mingled with something, and yet it was clear enough to be distinct. “A colt, I think. Unicorn colt.”
Rarity let out a giddy, if quiet, giggle. “Sorry, darling, I don’t mean to mock you. If you are sensing a colt in here, I think perhaps you need to cut down on your coffee consumption. I could imagine perhaps you’re sensing Sweetie Belle’s magic lingering around, but there are no colts in my shop right now, as you can see. You must be quite hyped-up if even your senses are being affected like that.”
“How can you tell I had coffee?”
Rarity pointed to the girl’s hind quarters. “Your wingshields are rattling, darling. Now, what has you so out of sorts that you’re sensing ponies that aren’t there? Shouldn’t you be out enjoying the day, or enjoying some rest, at least?”
“That’s what I came to you for. Today’s Hearts and Hooves Day.”
“I have heard, yes.”
“And I’ve been so busy with school work I… I forgot.”
“That doesn’t sound like you at all.” Her expression changed to one of grave concern. Somehow, Professor Rarity’s penchant for drama always felt comforting to Ocellus. It was easy to read, impossible to misunderstand. “You of all students would know what Hearts and Hooves Day is, I should think.”
“I did. I forgot what day today was.”
The mare nodded emphatically. “Ah, yes, that explains it. And what is it you need from me?”
“I need to think of something to get for Scoots.”
“Scoots being Scutum, your, ah… boyfriend? Special somechangeling?”
“Approved partner,” Ocellus corrected. “But I guess that’s the old term for it. ‘Boyfriend’ is what you’d call it. I need to find something he’ll be happy with, but I can’t think because I haven’t slept and I’m running out of time and I need help, please. I just want to do something nice for him. I already asked my friends and Missus Cake, but the only thing I got out of them was that ‘the love of a boy goes through his stomach’ and, well…”
“That sounds rather racist, if you ask me,” Rarity blurted out.
“I wouldn’t call it that.”
“I would. Even ignoring your relationship with love, do you have any idea how offensive that phrase is to ruminants? I’ve had plenty of clients with four stomachs, what are they supposed to think?”
Ocellus opened her mouth to argue, but she had to admit, ruminants did add a level of complication to the matter. “I don’t mind, personally. They’re only trying to help, it’s probably true for them, but for me it’s not. Anyway, Missus Cake said you were working today, too. So I came here as fast as I could.”
Rarity smiled in sympathy. “I am sorry to hear you’re not well, Ocellus, and I appreciate the vote of confidence. But why not ask Fluttershy? She shares more of your, umm, temperament, if you don’t mind me saying. And she has been a model, like Scutum has, if I recall correctly. So wouldn’t that make her a better choice?”
Ocellus looked away. “No, I know what you mean. But I thought you would be more help, Professor Rarity. You know romance better than anyone, and you know beauty. You know what makes ponies happy. And I can’t afford to waste time with this. Fluttershy’s more like me, sure, but I’m struggling with this, so a pony like me probably would, too. I need a pony who can do this sort of thing, so I’m cutting out the middle mare.”
Rarity chuckled. “Goodness. No pressure or anything.” She gestured for Ocellus to follow and they both sat down on a set of pillows, which Ocellus presumed is where Rarity usually did her more casual discussions. “Alright, let’s start with the basics: what sort of boy are we dealing with here, exactly?”
Ocellus blinked, and drew a blank. “Umm…”
Rarity levitated a cup of tea to her lips and took a sip. “Well? What sort of a boy is he? I haven’t seen or spoken to him that much, so I don’t really know, aside from the superficial.” She smirked impishly. “He’s very handsome by pony standards, I’ll grant you that. Good strong triangular build, very masculine , much more angular than usual for your kind, if a little bit on the lean side. That’s teenagers for you, I suppose. But what is his character? Is he sensitive, is he brash and brave, contemplative or shy, is he artsy or athletic?”
That, Ocellus could answer easily. “N-no. He’s not an athlete, exactly. He’s a model, and an artist.”
“Good start, but those are occupations, darling, not character traits. Let me rephrase: why do you like him? Besides whatever appearances he may have.”
“Umm, we grew up together, kind of?” Ocellus shrugged.
“Lots of boys and girls grow up together, darling, that’s not a reason to fall in love. If it were, all of Equestria would be singing ‘Sweet Home Alabarna’ all day,” Rarity joked.
“He’s… he’s nice.”
“Is he only nice to you, or is he nice in general?”
“No, he’s nice in general, it’s just… I’m not sure I really know.”
Rarity pointed to the girl’s chest. “Well, I certainly don’t mean to upset you, Ocellus, but as Applejack would say: there’s your problem, right there. You can’t think of a good gift for someone if you don’t know what they like.”
“I know what he doesn’t like. Does that count?”
“Of course. But there’s more to happiness than avoiding things you dislike.”
“I know that. I’ve read all the books on this, but I’ve never really thought about it. It all happened so fast, and I just went along with it,” Ocellus said.
“Then it must have at least felt right.” Rarity leaned forward, cup in her hooves. “Let’s try a different angle, then. Has it ever felt wrong?”
“No.” A dreamy smile formed on Ocellus’ lips, despite her best efforts to suppress it. “It’s always felt right. It’s weird, I can’t really think about it, but I can feel it.”
“So you do… love this boy, yes?”
Ocellus cringed. “I think so?”
“Have you told him? In so many words?”
She shook her head. “I get anxious every time I try. My head starts hurting, my stomach gets upset. But I know it feels right when I’m with him. That counts, doesn’t it?”
“Yes, love does have a way of dulling one’s more cerebral functions, so to speak. That is a good sign, at least. I’d still try to consider why, though.”
“A-and… if I can’t think of any real reason… would it be okay to ask…” Ocellus tried and failed to get her voice up to its normal volume, falling silent despite herself.
“Ask what?” Rarity leaned in again, to better hear.
“Missus Cake said you have a boyfriend, now, too.”
Rarity hummed to herself, a beaming smile on her smile. “She caught that, eh? Pinkie Pie is not the easiest mare to throw off a trail.” She nodded. “Yes, it’s true. I have been… involved with a fine stallion for some time now. It’s been quite the ride, and not an easy thing to keep hidden. But I wouldn’t change a thing.”
Ocellus felt her heart flutter. “Is it okay to ask why you like him? I don’t need to know anything secret, I promise. But I need something to hold onto here, I need something to compare to.”
“Understandable. You are the more analytical type, after all. What can I say about my dear paramour?” Rarity looked up and tapped her chin, thinking. “He is kind, but firm when he needs to be. A hard worker who knows when enough is enough. He’s always willing to push himself for the sake of others. Truth be told, I think he’s shown great promise as a father figure, that was important to me, also. And not to brag, but I did manage to snag him, so to speak, before the other mares in town got a chance.”
“So it’s because he’s like you, then. And because you think he’ll be a good dad, eventually. If you have foals.”
Ocellus noticed a shiver go through Rarity at that, one she couldn’t place. It wasn’t one of disgust or fear, but almost of surprise? Which made no sense, because they were talking about some obvious subjects here.
Rarity smiled once it passed, though. “Of course, darling, ‘if.’ If I ever decide to have foals, then it will be important to have a strong father figure in the house. That is doubly true in a town full of mares, like Ponyville is. There’s more to it, but I’m afraid I can’t quite say. My special somepony is someone of some importance, subject to gossip and media frenzies. We both decided it would be best if we kept our relationship a secret for as long as possible.”
Ocellus let her head hang, but nodded. “I understand.”
“One thing I’ve found that works for me, though, is this: if you cannot figure out the ‘why,’ look at the ‘when.’ I know I have a… small, barely noticeable habit of overworking myself ever so slightly, and my special somepony has, shall we say, been through that proverbial wringer enough to see the signs. When I am absorbed in a new design or a project, he stops me when he needs to. Likewise, when he is over-exerting himself, a little flutter of the eyelashes and a quick little demand for attention distracts him enough to take a break.”
Ocellus could feel her eyes water. “So you have someone who can stop you from doing the wrong thing. That sounds like it’d be perfect.”
“I wouldn’t say it’s perfect, but in your case I can see the appeal, confidence-wise, I mean. Don’t confuse the help of a partner with giving up control, that’s important. It’s a complementary relationship, darling: he has his vices, I have mine, we both look out for each other. I couldn’t tell you the amount of times I’ve had to tell him to leave poorer-” Rarity stopped herself mid-sentence. “To leave things be as they were. He’s a bit… interventionist by nature, and while I sympathise, I don’t always agree. We have similar weaknesses, but seeing them in each other makes us more aware of it in ourselves, if that makes sense.”
“Because you’re seeing the same weakness in someone else, you know what it looks like in yourself,” Ocellus concluded.
“Exactly.”
She shuddered and pouted, pondering. “Yeah, me and Scutum are nothing like that. He’s confident, I’m not. He shows off his body, I never could.”
Rarity shook her head and grimaced. “Oh, I distinctly recall you looking quite fetching in that cheerleader outfit, Ocellus, you shouldn’t talk yourself down like that.”
“That’s different. Scutum doesn’t sleep in Ponyville, he doesn’t even come by that often, and he has more friends than I do. Every time he visits, it’s like he’s lived here forever. He talks to ponies so casually, and they talk to him like they’ve known him for years. That’s nothing like me.”
The mare’s ears twitched. “You don’t say? I hadn’t noticed.”
“I guess you wouldn’t. When he’s waiting for me, he usually hangs out with Rumble and his friends, ever since-”
“Since little Rumble got that modelling job, yes, now I remember. Your Scoots and Rumble are on good terms with each other, I keep mixing up the names. Right, I suppose that does make you somewhat of an odd couple, in that regard.”
“See what I mean? What if I haven’t been feeling love this whole time? It doesn’t work the same way it does for ponies. What if I’ve been wrong? What if he doesn’t really like me, and he’s been wrong about what he’s feeling?”
“I think the caffeine is triggering your panic reflex now, darling,” Rarity started. “Don’t let the adrenalin rush cloud your judgement. Don’t get ahead of yourself, and remember why you are here in the first place. You are here because you need a gift, you can worry about everything else later. And on that note, you know you can simply give him something pretty, right? Or something practical? Didn’t you say he’s an artist? Some fine quills or brushes or charcoal to sketch with, perhaps?”
“He’s learning how to be an artist,” Ocellus explained. “But he, umm, he was born wrong. I don’t know if I’ve told you.”
Rarity winced and pressed a hoof to her forehead. “Right, right, Starlight mentioned that. Born colourblind, which in your society means-”
“Crippled, and useless, and disposable. At least the way we used to do things. That doesn’t work the way it does for ponies, either; he couldn’t detect colour in any way for most of his life, including when he tried shapeshifting. He was lucky he could pick a pony in greyscales for expeditions, but if he tried to turn into a piece of furniture? Black and white only. And no one knew for so long, not even me. If Chrysalis had found out, well…”
The mare sighed and absently rubbed her belly, as the thought probably made her queasy. “Yes, the old wolf cub treatment, eh? I see. I suppose books on colour theory are out of the question then, too.”
Ocellus shook her head. “I know those are good, I know he’ll appreciate it, but still… I don’t want to remind him of that, not today. But I can’t think of anything that would work.”
“With colour being such a common factor, I’m not sure I do, either. I don’t know the boy’s sensibilities myself.” Rarity gave off a playful pout. “Rather wish I did, he sounds like a model I could work wonders with. But, if all else fails, there are two things you can give your special someone that will always succeed.”
“What?”
“A strong hug, and a gentle kiss. I may not know the specifics of changeling romance, but a show of affection never fails.”
“But it’s our first Hearts and Hooves Day together. I need it to be special. I need it to be something to remember.”
“Then I’m afraid my only real advice would be to give him a kiss he cannot forget. But given your obvious reservations to that sort of thing, I cannot recommend that in good conscience. I’m sorry, Ocellus. I wish I could be more help, truly I do. Do you know if he likes surprises, at least?”
“I’m not sure. I know I don’t. Is that bad?”
“Not at all. I’m not overly fond of surprises myself, especially when it comes to the important things. No, I like being able to plan for things just like you, and I can tell you there is nothing wrong with that.”
“Except when you oversleep and you don’t have time to plan.”
“There is that, I suppose. So what is the plan now? What will you do?”
Ocellus gritted her teeth. “I need to find something. There has to be something in Ponyville, anything.”
“You’ll be off, then? I could always find a good scarf or a custom shirt, something nice and dapper.”
“Some other time, maybe, when I have a better idea. For now, I think it’s best if I go out again. If Scutum comes by here, could you stall for time?”
Rarity nodded. “I’ll drag him into a fitting session for you and keep him busy as long as I can. If he comes by here, that is.”
“Thank you.”
“Anything for a proper romance, darling.”
“Wait, but what about your boyfriend? Don’t you have plans?”
“Oh, he’s off to a Wonderbolts derby in Canterlot, we have plans for later. Never you mind that, you focus on what you need to do.”
“Will do.” Ocellus got up, and heard her stomach growling.
“Oh, and darling? Don’t forget you still need to eat? Skipping lunch is not going to help you think.”
Ocellus flitted through Ponyville, flying low so as not to stick out. Scutum was probably in town already, she couldn’t afford to run into him, not now.
Okay, jewelry? Nothing colourful.
Tea set? He might get the wrong idea.
Crooked kayak?
She stopped by one of the bridges on the edge of town, right by the Ponyville Kayak club. All the boats there were bent, somehow. They weren’t broken or structurally damaged, but every single kayak and canoe bent at a right angle. “Huh. That’s odd. If I didn’t know any better, I’d almost think that was-”
“Duck!” a voice called out.
Ocellus hit the ground right in time to see an arrow hit a mare ten paces ahead. A second arrow followed soon after, and hit the mare next to the first one.
Lyra and Bon Bon. They were both struck.
And even from that far away, Ocellus could see the little heart bubbles floating and popping over their heads as they suddenly started fawning over each other.
By now, she’d summoned enough mental clarity to recognise the warning voice. She turned around to face the sharpshooter draconequus. “Discord? What are you doing?”
Discord had adorned himself with a set of feathered wings, as well as a quiver of arrows and a tiny shortbow. He also had a halo, that was attached to his head via iron wire, and a rope harness that wasn’t attached to anything to hold him airborne. He came floating by in his best Cupid impression. “I’m spending the holiday doing what I do best: sowing a little chaos. That’s LyraBon sailing away, right there.” He took out a messy parchment and crossed out a line on it.
Momentarily distracted by the sacrilege, bad disguise, public drugging and, worst of all, sloppy notekeeping, Ocellus growled at the near-omnipotent spirit of chaos. “If Princess Twilight finds out about this…”
He snorted and cut the ropes holding him up with his bare fingers, landing him neatly on the ground. He snapped his fingers to get rid of the wings and halo, but kept his weapon and ammunition. “She’ll have to answer to Princess Cadence first. I’m not doing anything that pink Princess doesn’t do on a daily basis. Can’t blame a draconequus for having his favorite ships, right? Speaking of which, do you think anyone minds I made some adjustments to the local kayak club’s gear? I’m not sure why, but seeing a straight ship in Ponyville just feels wrong.”
That confirmed her first suspicion. Discord was bored. Nobody liked him when he was bored. “Discord, that’s not right. You don’t know what kind of damage you’re doing.”
He snarled. “They’re kayakkers, they deserve it after what they tried to pull last time I was in town.”
Ocellus tried to think of what that might have been, but nothing came up. “I mean damage to society. You don’t know if you’re harming anypony by shooting love arrows willy-nilly.”
He cleared his throat with a dramatic flair. “Excuse me? Okay, first of all: I am not firing love arrows willy-nilly. I have a very strict, very progressive and publically accepted list of ships that I support. So I am firing love arrows deliberately , thank you.”
He held up the list to her. It looked like a spider’s web, if the spider had been simultaneously drunk and subjected to experimental doses of caffeine and mushroom extracts. A lot of the supposed couplings were crossed out on only one side, and replaced with another.
“You know, a lot of those couples look like you’re replacing one pony with another. So you can’t really have a set list of ships, right?”
“Oh, no, I assure you, the ships remain the same, even when you replace both ponies. I had this discussion ages ago, I’m sure Theseus wrote it down somewhere.” He tossed the list behind his shoulder into oblivion. “Secondly, I am not doing anything wrong here. What am I harming? Society?” He waved a claw over his face to conjure up some form of clown make-up, then waved down to remove it. “I’m not making anyone gay, unlike some ponies I could mention.” He glared back at Ponyville, specifically at the Writer’s Guild headquarters.
Ocellus knew he was glaring at the Writer’s Guild, because that was the building that always had interesting clouds over it for some reason.
“Speaking of which, have you seen Rumble?” Discord took out another arrow, this one a different shade of pink than the others, and with a different tip, with pink and blue stripes. “I hear there’s a bounty out on his head and I’ve got an arrow with his name on it.”
“Thunderlane’s brother? You want to make him gay?”
“It’s the popular thing to do.”
“Discord, please don’t.”
“Which is exactly why I won’t do it. I’ll turn him into a girl instead. I hear the odds are fifteen to one he’s trans, and there’s only one way to find out. I’d like to get my pay-out before it drops another five points. His voice dropping has already cost me a fortune, I’m not taking any chances.”
Ocellus glared at him.
Discord threw his hands up in innocence. “Hey, don’t look at me, I didn’t start this! I’m only planning to finish it. You know how crazy ponies have been getting better than I do. All I’m doing is holding up a mirror.”
She sighed in resignation. “Okay, fair point. I’m too tired to argue, anyway. But can you at least promise not to use any magic on children unless they ask for it? Even if you think ponies are crazy, you do still understand consent, right? I don’t think Spike would appreciate it if he heard you talking about that sort of thing.”
“Eh, I suppose. Fine, I’ll hold off on that particular piece of artillery.” Discord stowed the arrow away in his quiver. “But Rumble starts asking for a bow in his hair, I’m taking my shot at him.”
“That’s progress, I guess.”
“Yes, ‘progress,’ is what you all like to call it. Trying to put me out of a job, is what it is,” Discord grumbled and gagged. “Taking all those chaotic and outrageous things and trying to normalise it, yeugh. What are you doing out here, anyway? Shouldn’t you be with your boyfriend? Or did he decide to turn into a flea and hide somewhere under your wing?” From out of nowhere, Discord flipped an oversized nickel, one with a pony on it. The pony was holding a bouquet of flowers.
“No,” she replied.
The nickel pony’s flowers wilted.
“Oh.” Discord stuck the coin in his ear. “Well, I’ll get that second nickel sooner or later. Stupid Loki...”
“I forgot today’s Hearts and Hooves Day,” Ocellus started. “I’m trying to think of what I can get him. What about you? Shouldn’t you be with Fluttershy?”
“Fluttershy? On Hearts and Hooves Day ? Did someone hit you with the crazy arrows, by any chance?”
“No?”
“Good, I’m saving those for a special occasion. I don’t need the hassle of losing ammo before I need to. Anyway, today’s not a good day to be around Fluttershy, not for me. Today’s the day she always gets greeting cards and propositions.”
Ocellus blinked. “Propositions? Of marriage?”
“Of sponsorships. You’d be surprised how much money you can make just to spit out platitudes about silly morals without actually acting moral or doing anything productive. Fluttershy is very polite to them, but that also means it takes a long time before ponies get the message. So I prefer to enjoy this day a little more… actively. I always liked Hearts and Hooves, had a nice flair to it.”
“Wait. You like this holiday? You like love?”
“Of course I like love. Can’t get a giant wooden horse through the gates if there’s no love involved. Love is chaotic, it’s unpredictable. It’s funny, when it’s not being so disgustingly sweet and mushy.” He gagged.
An idea popped into Ocellus’ head then. “Oh. Then I don’t suppose you could help me with a problem I’m having?”
“Why would I?” He leaned in and leered ominously.
“Aside from it being love-related? Maybe to get back into Headmare Starlight’s good graces after almost killing us.”
“That was one time.”
Ocellus thought back. “Was it, though?”
“Okay, two. Three… maybe five.” Discord tapped his chin, and started growing extra fingers to count on. “But definitely not more than seventeen!”
“And your stunts in the cafeteria.”
“Now, are you referring to the pheasants or the orca? Because I’ll have you know the orca was absolutely not my fault, natural causes, completely out of my control.”
“Or, umm, you know, because I’m desperate, and I really don’t know who else I can ask at this point. I could, maybe, make it worth your while? If you need anything in return?”
He chuckled, before straightening up with a bright smile. “And what could a changeling possibly offer m-wait, you mean you’re up for a warlock pact ?”
“Maybe?”
“Oh, I haven’t done one of those in so long. Alright, then, let’s talk.”
He snapped his fingers, and time stopped.
“Let’s talk terms first: what is it you want?” All around them, screens appeared showing Ocellus on a throne, Ocellus poring over documents, wearing a wizard’s hat, or a black outfit and sunglasses while she was doing what looked like yoga while dodging arrows. “Power, information, control?”
“Umm… information. I need to know the exact steps I need to take to make this a perfect Hearts and Hooves Day for me and Scutum.”
“Hmm…” Discord stroked his goatee, and the screens disappeared. “A time loop spell, then? Redo the day over and over until you’re both satisfied?” A gopher popped out of the ground, wearing the sunglasses Ocellus had seen seconds ago. The thing pointed at its shadow, gave the draconequus the thumbs up, then dove back down into the ground.
A time loop did sound like a good way to get through the day. Every story she’d ever read about such magic centered around making a perfect moment. Still, she was smart enough to see the problem. “No, no. I woke up exhausted this morning, and if I can’t change that, then I can’t find the right answer.”
“A revitalisation spell, then?” he offered. “Delay the fatigue until tomorrow?”
“No. Even if I have all the energy I need, my mind would still be working without sleep, without any real rest.”
“Catnap spell? Give you that sleep right here and now, five minutes, wake up completely refreshed.”
“That is tempting… but I can’t guarantee that will give me what I need. No, I need a divination spell. I need to know where I have to go, and when, and what to say, to make it perfect. I need to find a gift for him, and I need to make him happy. Can you do that?”
“Oh, divination?” The draconequus gagged and spit out a crystal ball to stare into. It showed a pair of ponies arguing about who was first in a race, Ocellus didn’t get it. “I don’t know, it’s all so boring and rigid. But I suppose I’m not against a little stacking the deck.” A snap of the fingers, and the crystal ball turned into a tarot deck, which then became a house of cards that looked like the Leaning Tower of Pinto. “Alright, then. Just for today, I’ll give you the perfect instructions. If you’re not satisfied, I’ll turn back time only up to the point of the pact. And that’s assuming you are not satisfied.”
“And in exchange? Do I have to rob some arcane vault, or prank a politician?”
“Please, what do you take me for? I was never a demanding patron, even to the ponies who shot Uncanny Blasts like it was confetti. No, there’s only thing that’s really valuable to me.”
She cringed. “And that is?”
“Entertainment. Last time I got to do a real game show, the Pillars were roaming Equestria. I want to see how you tackle one of those.”
Author's Note
So in this one, I kind of wanted to see if I could do subtlety, still. The conversation with Rarity is supposed to hint at a few things strongly enough for the reader to guess, but not so much that it outright says what's going on.
Other than that, Discord was fun to write. He's getting in on the action with Rumble being such a target for things, but he at least has the decency to hold back when confronted about it. I suppose it's a possible source of controversy, but at this point I don't think it matters, really.
This whole story in general has a lot of references and callbacks to my older works. Not all of them, because obviously that'd bloat this thing beyond proportion, but a lot of them. The Rumble thing being referenced was a whole trilogy, for example, and one of my earliest 'big' successes before that. Discord doing his gameshow was a contest entry, Ocellus being hyped-up on caffeine was a Sisterhooves fic, the list goes on.
Seemed appropriate to do, given the meta context of the story.
Hearts and Hooves and A Lot of Wrong Moves
When she found herself teleported into a gameshow named ‘Leopardy,’ Ocellus was starting to have second thoughts. Discord stood in front of a big screen with the name of the show, as well as a list of topics like ‘Rewritten history,’ ‘That’s not how biology works,’ and ‘Famous statues of Antiquity.’
She was pretty sure any question regarding the last one would have ‘Discord’ as the answer, but the other two she noticed could just as easily involve him, she realised.
Before Ocellus could voice any concerns, Discord conjured up a microphone. “Welcome to ‘Leopardy,’ the best game show in Equestria.”
“Are we being recorded?” she asked. “Or is this a live broadcast?”
“Oh, right, I don’t have a license,” he replied, slapping his forehead. “No, this is for my entertainment only.”
“You care about having a license for things?”
“Hey, I may be near all-powerful, but I’m not taking on the Equestrian Revenue Service, okay? That’s the only branch of government I can’t saw off for kindling.” He shook his head and snapped his fingers. Next to him, and filing cabinet appeared, and he started rummaging through it. “Now let’s see what we have in terms of options.”
Ocellus gulped as he tossed out a few large cats, who thankfully ignored her.
The draconequus didn’t notice, fiddling through the files. “Hmm… Twelve Labours? Always fun, but where am I going to get a flock of Stymphalids at this hour? No, no. Trials of Baleful Polymorph? Doesn’t really do much on a changeling. Slaying The Dragons?” He raised his eyebrows and stowed it away under his shoulder, grinning evilly. “Saving that for when I DM on Tuesday… Eureka!” He held one of the papers up high and turned to face Ocellus. “The Earth King’s Gambit. Perfect mix of modern and classic, feels a lot older than it is, a masterpiece of a trial. So glad I stole it.”
“Should I be worried?” Ocellus asked.
Discord snapped his fingers again to change his clothes. When the smoke cleared, he looked dressed in a regal outfit, one with a lot of white and green, and a golden apple design here and there. It looked vaguely familiar, like an outfit that belonged in the old Eastern Unicorn kingdoms.
Why Discord called it the Earth King’s Gambit, then, she could only guess.
“I have three tasks for you,” he started. “Finish them all and you’ll get your wish.”
“And if I fail?”
“That depends on how hurt you get in the attempt.”
She didn’t get the time to object. Another snap of the fingers, and she found herself in a massive cave, at least a hundred paces in radius. Light shone from green crystals, and water flowed on the edges.
In the middle, though, there was an elevated platform, the size of a small sports field, no more than shoulder height from her perspective. And in the middle of that, there was a bushel of keys.
“I seem to have lost the keys to my house,” Discord started. “Would you mind fetching them from that completely innocent and inconspicuous platform?”
Of course this was a trap, but the question was: what kind? The first thing Ocellus checked was the crystals. Her shape senses didn’t detect any kind of electrical charges, and in hindsight she figured Discord wouldn’t want to be so cliché as to deploy a bug zapper against a changeling. As crude and chaotic as he was, the spirit of disharmony still had standards, she knew that much.
Second, she checked the ceiling. There was water flowing on the edges, and again she could detect no electrical charge. Spells and enchantments, maybe, but those tended to ping differently to her senses.
And that, of course, left the floor. She noticed the cave floor was unnaturally even, meaning it had been levelled. She also noticed grooves in the floor, very regular and geometric grooves. More than likely there were pressure plates strewn about, and knowing Discord they would trigger something funny, like tree sap or a paint bomb.
Not the sort of trap to use against a creature that could fly. She opened up her wingshields and looked to her host, who merely shrugged.
Motion sensors, too, most likely, and ranged traps. A cave that high, the ceiling must have been littered with traps, too. She went straight up, to the safest place in the room: right in the middle. Then she bolted straight ahead.
There was a whirring underground, and Ocellus felt the air leave her before her ears caught the wind. A tornado had formed around the platform in mere seconds, knocking her off course. She was buffeted by the winds and slammed hindquarters first into the ceiling, at which point the winds died down and she dizzily flew to the outer edge.
“Oops, I forgot to mention! There might be a little bit of a draft going!”
She flew down to Discord. “What even is that?”
He chuckled. “Oh, that? A little something I used to have fun with when the Pegasi tribes were still around. It’s a wind barrier: you step into it, winds kick up. It’s a test, you see: Pegasi like to say they can fly faster than the wind. I like taking them up on that challenge.”
“But I’m not a Pegasus,” Ocellus argued.
Discord scoffed at the notion. “Well, we’re all for equality these days, aren’t we? Anything a Pegasus can do, you can do better. I’m sure you can speed through it if you use an adrenalin boost or something. Try flexing your muscles, and yelling, and turning your hair blonde, I hear that always works for monkeys.”
She huffed. There was no reasoning with Discord, clearly. Bracing herself, she mentally calculated how fast she should go and at what angle. The winds below had a wind-up time, and they’d pelted her outward and upward. Her best chance, though her caffeine-fueled heart hated the sound of it, was a straight dash at top speed.
She revved up her wings to full power and headed in.
Again, the winds caught her and slammed her into the wall.
“Atta girl!” Discord yelled out. “Keep doing what you’re doing! Just try harder, it’ll work eventually!”
Very funny.
He’s right, though, I can’t do it.
I can’t swoop and dive like a Pegasus pony can.
Not in this form, at least.
She reached out into her memories, to a day spent with Professor Fluttershy. She’d gotten a close look at a large predator then, one that could pluck a fully grown pony off the ground like it was nothing.
Green flames surrounded her, and when they passed, she spread her arms, now massive and powerful wings.
“Oooh, eagle form!” Discord laughed. “Never seen a shapeshifter try that one before.”
Three wingflaps, and Ocellus could guess why. The weight gave her more control, sure, but those big wings ended up catching more of the winds and it wasn’t long before she was flung right back to square one, letting out an indignant squawk.
“Oh, this’ll keep you busy for hours, I’m sure.” Discord conjured up a clucking cuckoo clock that sounded like a turkey for some reason. “Let’s hope you don’t get hungry too soon.”
Ocellus closed her eyes.
Focus. There’s a solution to this, there has to be.
Giant eagle is heavy enough, but too big.
If I try something smaller, that won’t have the weight.
Can’t fly like an eagle, can’t fly like a bat, can’t fly like a dragon, can’t fly…
It finally hit her.
Can’t fly. That’s it!
She flew up to the ceiling, to the edge of the wind barrier, then turned back into her normal form and started walking on the ceiling.
“Gonna try the old spider climb trick? Hope you have a strong back!” Discord called out.
Already, the winds were revving up.
So was she.
With a mighty leap, she went straight down into the winds, until they hit full power and started pushing her away again.
Then she turned into a blue whale.
Riding gravity’s pull on her massive cetacean weight, she smacked down on the platform, then dropped the heavy shape as the winds raged around her. She picked up the keys, the winds died down, and a flowerpot smashed into the ground right next to her.
“What was that?” she asked, gesturing the shattered pottery.
“Not again.” Discord teleported to her to inspect the thing, and scratched his head in confusion. “You know, it’s the strangest thing, that happens every time I run into a whale and I can’t figure out where these pots keep coming from.”
“Weird. I’ve got the keys.”
“Ah, and in good time, too. It really is amazing what you can do when you break the chains of habit, isn’t it?”
“I guess so. What’s the second challenge?”
A snap of the fingers and a burst of stars later, and she found herself on a balcony overlooking a jungle. That is to say, it was a jungle with a roof, since she could see the walls reaching around the balcony. The whole thing was painted a dark blue with a star pattern, but none of the constellations were right, presumably because Discord didn’t care for astronomy.
“This is my aviary,” the draconequus said. “And wouldn’t you know it, I need to do a check-up on one of my birds, but I can’t find where he is. Go in there and fetch him for me, would you? He’s trained to respond to his name.”
This was, of course, another trap. Ocellus leered at him, suspicion clear in her voice. “What kind of bird is it? A phoenix? A giant changeling-eating eagle?”
“A bird of paradise,” Discord replied. “Do you know what they look like?”
She shrugged. Ocellus had seen plenty of birds of paradise on school trips, as well as lessons from Professor Fluttershy. They were colourful, broad of wing but not large of stature, and they had fancy tails. “Sure.”
“Perfect. Now, the bird you want to find is named Apus. He’s very precious to me, and he’s well trained, so you don’t need to worry about him hurting you. Call out to him and he’ll sit on your arm, no problem.”
She closed her eyes to think. “It can’t be that easy. What’s the catch?”
“You are a smart girl, yes. As you might have guessed, there are other birds in there, that may not be so friendly. I’ve also got a guardian patrolling the premises, for any interlopers that take a wrong turn at Applecorky when they teleport. You’ll know the guardian when you see him. I suggest you make sure you get the right bird in your sights before you make any noise.”
Ocellus sighed. “Okay. How many birds of paradise are there?”
“Ones that look like Apus? It’s only him. He’s one of a kind.”
“Good to know.”
Preferring the cautious approach, Ocellus turned herself into an eagle again and did a quick swoop over the area.
Down below, angry squawks reacted to her presence. She recognised the sounds, and she felt the heat build-up.
Phoenix nests.
She dodged one firebolt, then another. She could only barely see the phoenixes themselves through the canopy, so she decided to fly down and transform into a barn owl.
Much better.
The barn owl form was unfamiliar, but much more appropriate. She had sharp eyes, quick wings to duck between trees, even if she did have to sacrifice raw speed for dexterity.
Let’s see… peafowl, phoenixes, sparrows, secretary birds, ostriches…
A familiar chirp caught her attention, and she made a sharp turn towards it.
Bird of paradise. Got you.
She found the thing sitting on a branch, preening itself. It was a fine-looking specimen: emerald wings and back, little downy crown on its head, and long, fine tailfeathers.
She transformed into her normal form and called out gently. “Oh, Apus? Here, Apus.”
The bird flew up, and the sky came down on her.
“What the…”
The ceiling of the aviary came down towards her, the walls closed in around the makeshift jungle. Stars moved in ways that weren’t natural, and then it finally dawned on Ocellus.
Those weren’t stars.
That was a coat.
She’d just drawn the attention of a bird big enough to snatch an Ursa Major, with an Ursa Major’s coat to boot.
The guardian. That thing is the guardian.
Apus, understandably, wanted no part in this, and he booked it right when a massive eye appeared in the night sky, followed by a beak.
Don’t get distracted. You need that bird. “Apus! Here, Apus, here!”
The guardian screeched, and Apus fled further. Ocellus almost wondered how that guardian was even supposed to get to her with its massive size, but apparently the thing was part fluid. It managed to shrink down from ‘mythical titan you’ll never run into’ size to ‘very real, barely documented for obvious reasons, apex predator’ size and homed in on her.
She chased after Apus, wings buzzing and burning from the exertion.
“Apus! Apus, here! Apus, come here!” she shouted as more birds flew up from the trees.
Then she saw two Apuses, and two more. There was a whole flock of birds of paradise, in fact.
“Wait, that was the wrong one?” she asked.
“Might have been a good idea to ask more questions first, huh?!” Discord shouted from the balcony.
Oh, that no-good, double-crossing…
A loud ‘caw’ interrupted her inner cursing.
Don’t get distracted. You need to find the real Apus.
But seriously, who puts that many birds of that many different species together?
And who names their pet bird after a constella-oh, you have got to be kidding me.
She looked back at the giant bird as it came in for another circling swoop over the jungle. The wings, the crown, the tail, it all matched, though the proportions were slightly off.
One of a kind, he said.
Ocellus flew straight up above the canopy and extended her arm.
“Apus?!” She closed her eyes, bracing for impact.
A light tap on her arm was all she felt. Shrunk down to normal size, the bird made up of night sky sat calmly. Ocellus could feel her heart pounding, and her stomach trying to untie all the knots it had gotten itself in.
She flew the bird over to the balcony, and Discord took over. The star bird cawed happily at his owner, even as he got his feathers checked and his beak inspected.
“That was… terrifying. That’s the biggest creature I’ve ever encountered.”
“And yet it was the one thing you had to get.” Discord petted his bird’s head like it was a cat. “Funny, isn’t it? How the thing that scares you most can be the thing you want the hardest.”
With the adrenalin still rushing through her system, Ocellus wasn’t in a philosophical or psychological mood. “Sure, I guess. Third challenge?”
Apus was let go, and Discord snapped his fingers.
They materialised in a fighting ring.
“Oh, no, don’t tell me it’s combat?”
“Come now, you must have seen this coming,” Discord said. “When all the gamey is done, a good fight will still be the best entertainment to be had.”
“Fine. Bring out your three contestants.”
“My what?”
“Your three contestants. That’s the catch, isn’t it? You’ve got two scary monsters waiting in the wings, and one creature that looks harmless, but really ends up being the worst of the bunch. You want me to pick the harmless one, so just bring it out already.”
He scoffed. “Honestly, what do you take me for? I like my classics, sure, but I’m not an old hack. No, I had something much more interesting in mind. A little bit of karma, if you will.”
“Karma?” Ocellus felt a lurch, a tugging under her hooves. Her shadow moved, even though she didn’t.
Then her shadow got up and blinked.
Volume flowed into the thing, along with greyed-out colours. It flapped its wings as its red eyes opened, a wicked grin on its face.
“Oh, no.” Ocellus shivered.
“Neat trick, isn’t it?” Discord joked. “Little something I picked up from a boring old four-eyed loser, the spirit of daddy issues, if you can believe it.”
The thing hissed at her. It didn’t have the holes of her old form, but it had all the threatening presence, all the aggression that was forced upon her to fuel that vampiric magic her kind used to use.
“Don’t worry about destroying it,” Discord said. “It doesn’t have sapience, it’s barely sentient. It only pretends, much like you used to. But it still has your memories, your skills, your power. Only one thing that it lacks, really.”
Ocellus took a step back, and the thing rammed into her, sending her flying across the arena.
“Your kind-hearted nature!” Discord shouted. “Good luck beating yourself up!”
Think fast. I’m supposed to fight this thing.
But it’s me. How do I fight?
Apparently this Anti-Ocellus fought by turning itself into a cougar and pouncing.
Ocellus defaulted into a squirrel form to dash and zig zag away from the feline, confusing it in the process. That only bought her a few seconds, though, as the Anti-Ocellus shifted into an falcon and homed in on her.
I can’t dodge that in this form, or any form. Block it!
The falcon ended up bumping into a green elephant trunk, and Ocellus tossed the thing onto the ground before stomping down, hard.
Raising her massive paw up, she only saw a hole.
Burrowing. Good, it’ll be a little while before the next attack.
What would she do?
What would I do?
Those big elephant ears caught a familiar and haunting buzzing sound.
Neighsian hornet. Can those things sting through elephant hide?
The buzzing closed in on her.
Can I risk it? It wouldn’t kill me, but it’d hurt enough to break my concentration.
Where’s it coming from? Is it circling or dashing?
Her mind reeled. Then a moment of clarity pierced through the haze.
Wait a second, what am I doing?
Cutting out the middle pony, she turned into a rock, fast enough to make the hornet bounce off her granite surface without any further damage.
Anti-Ocellus took a cue from her original and flew up before turning into an anvil. Ocellus, likewise, went back to her normal form and rolled out of the way.
Her speed’s the same, her reaction time’s the same.
She has the same sorts of ideas as me.
That only leaves one way to beat her.
Ocellus rose up on her hind legs, readying for the next attack. She’d always been taught to favour the ambush predators, since they were more efficient in solo combat. Anti-Ocellus, predictably, went into another feline form, this time that of a black panther.
The thing leaped at her and bit her in the neck, just as she shifted into another form, that of an eel, this time.
Then, all Ocellus had to do was flex .
Teeth closed around her, but didn’t pierce her flesh.
Gotcha.
The panther was frozen around her, save for a few errant twitches. The teeth hurt, sure, but she wasn’t bleeding.
Discord called out. “Wait, what’s going on here? Ref, what is she doing?”
A second Discord, this one in a referee uniform complete with a coach’s whistle, appeared and inspected Anti-Ocellus. The panther fell over, leaving Ocellus flopping on the ground in her eel form.
The Discord ref poked her and immediately backed away. “Yow! That’s no regular fish, that’s an-”
Ocellus turned back and wiped herself where the bite marks and drool had marked her. “Electric eel. It’s a dirty trick, but surprisingly effective against opponents that like to bite. So, are you entertained now?”
Up above, Discord was rolling on the floor laughing, while Ocellus felt her shadow flow back into her.
“Bwahahahaaa! The changeling… turned herself… into a bugzapper!” he cried out. “Oh, that has to be the funniest thing I’ve seen since the beauty contest!”
Ocellus’ ears perked. “Wait, what?”
“What? D’oh, I mean… yes, you have passed all the tests.” He teleported next to her. “And here is your prize.”
He conjured up three doors.
“Any one of these doors will give you the perfect day for Scutum. Just open one and you’ll get exactly the perfect day.”
“Really?”
“Absolutely.”
“No tricks?”
“Just a time limit. You have ten seconds to choose.”
“What?”
“I mean, all this divination is very precise, it comes down to the second. Nine.”
“But what’s the difference? Is there one that’s boobytrapped?”
“No, seven.”
“But what’s the correct one?”
“They all are. Five.”
“But, but…”
“Four, three, two… one.”
Just as Ocellus tried to reach for the middle door, they all disappeared.
Her heart sank. “No, I did what you asked.”
“Yes, and then you refused to collect your reward.” Discord did a little golf clap to applaud her. “Very brave, very smart.”
She pawed at the ground and waved in the air where the door had been. “No, no. You have to let me get this. We had a deal.”
“Yes, we did. And you were so busy worrying about what to get that you didn’t get anything. My end of the deal is held up, yours is as well.”
She felt tears start to form in her eyes. “Discord, please, I’m begging you. I’m tired, I can’t think straight, you have to give me something!”
“D’oh, of course you get something . It’s not your fault you’re a bundle of nerves wrapped in transmutation magic. Here, consider this my gift. And stop crying, you’re sucking all the fun out of this.”
He snapped his fingers, and she was back in Ponyville.
“Oh, Ocellus, hi!”
Right in front of Scutum.
She was bruised, battered, and tired, and she was standing right in front of her boyfriend.
Ocellus sat down before she could collapse.
Author's Note
I went with 'Pitfall' as an easy synonym to 'Jeopardy,' but I changed that to 'Leopardy' at the last second, because... who'd get that reference otherwise, right? No points for guessing the inspiration for the trials, Discord spells it out. The four-eyed loser who was the spirit of daddy issues is a little antagonist called Trigon, he was in a... little known, obscure cartoon that nobody watched and no one remembers, really, can't recall the name right now
Since this does take place in the same universe as the Discord's mom story, Apus makes an appearance. And he's doing much better now, turns out.
Initially I had planned to do four chapters only, but given how the trials end, it made more sense to do a chapter break here. Still need to finish the resolution to the story, but it's been drafted for a while now, so... look forward the end a little longer, I suppose.
Hearts and Hooves and A Lot of Wrong Moves
Ocellus stared at him for a moment. Tears welled up in her eyes, and as much as she wanted to, she couldn’t stop herself.
It was too much. Her composure broke, and she started crying, then bawling.
Scutum backed away and looked around, scanning the vicinity like any good drone would. “W-what’s going on?”
“I didn’t get you anything,” she admitted. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”
He breathed a sigh of relief and went to hug her. She didn’t hug him back, too embarrassed to move or even think at this point. Didn’t seem to make a difference to him. “Hey, hey, it’s okay, you don’t have to cry over that. Now tell me what’s wrong, there’s gotta more to it than that. Did someone get under your skin? Do you wanna go get some tea, or sit by the duck pond?”
Ocellus clenched her eyes shut. He always knew what would cheer her up.
“No. I overslept this morning, and then I realised I’d missed a few days. I wanted to get you something. I was going to get you something, but I lost track of time and I couldn’t catch up. I’ve running across Ponyville all day, and I still couldn’t come up with anything.”
He gently pressed her head against his chest so she could hear him breathe, calm and slow. “That’s okay. I’ve still got you, don’t I?”
“That’s true.”
“And you really tired yourself out that much that you’re crying over it?” Scutum wiped at her eyes to dry them off.
“Not just that.” Ocellus sighed. “I just… none of my friends knew what to do. Missus Cake wasn’t any help, Professor Rarity gave me some advice, but it didn’t fix the problem.” Finally, she managed to wrap her arms around the boy. “And then Discord showed up. He put me through this game show.”
Scutum chuckled to himself. “So that’s what the bruises are from.”
“Yeah. It’s fine, it doesn’t hurt, not really. I think he was trying to tell me something, or teach me something, but I couldn’t guess what.”
“So spell it out for me, maybe? You know I’m good with that kind of stuff.”
“I know the first two: you’re a lot freer when you break the chains of habit, and sometimes the thing you’re most scared of is what you want most. But the third round, he had me fighting myself, or my shadow.”
“You fought yourself? Wow. Who won?” he joked.
She forced out a smile at the dad-tier joke. “It was a shapeshifting duel. My opponent went for something bitey, I turned into an electric eel.”
“Oh.” Scutum looked up at the sky. “And that wouldn’t have worked if you hadn’t let yourself get bitten. It’s easy, then: sometimes a small failure is what you need for a big win. Local minimums and maximums and all that, we saw that in-”
“Math class in Fillydelphia, right. I forgot. I almost had it, too, my wish, I mean. Discord had the perfect gift ready, the perfect day. But he hid it behind three doors. He said any one of the doors was fine, but I still couldn’t decide which one. I ran out of time.”
“You worried too much about what I’d think, so you didn’t pick anything.” He kissed her on the forehead.
It took all her mental fortitude not to turn into a puddle right then and there. “I guess that’s the small failure, then. But where’s the big success?”
He gently put a hoof under her chin to tilt her head up. “Ocellus, look at me. I’m not upset, I’m not sad, I’m not angry at you. You didn’t do anything wrong. I know you study hard and I know sometimes you overdo it. If I ever thought it was going too far, I’d tell you. I’m not smart enough to be subtle with that kind of thing.”
She chuckled. “That doesn’t make it okay.”
“It does to me. Just because today’s the holiday, doesn’t mean you have to get a present on the day, does it?”
“But that’s how it’s supposed to go.”
“Oh.” He shrugged. “Well, sorry, then. My gift won’t be here for a week or two.”
She blinked in confusion. “You… wait, you didn’t get me anything, either?”
“Not right away. I didn’t know what day it was, either, but, you know, I improvised. I had to think a little, and then I commissioned someone.”
“W-what did you commission?”
He took his locket from under his wingshields and opened it. “We’ll always have Geneighva. Mister Sage from the print shop used some magic on the picture to make it bigger, portrait-sized.”
“You commissioned a portrait-sized picture?”
“No, that’d be silly. I… I wanted to get you something you’d like. Portraits don’t really fit in the Hive, since our walls aren’t that flat, and with your little brother and sister running around, I didn’t want you to worry. Then I thought maybe you’d like a book, but you’re surrounded by books all the time, you’d stress yourself out over that. Then I figured maybe some workout equipment, since you’re sitting still so much, but I didn’t want to risk you overdoing it.”
“And I probably would.”
“Exactly. I couldn’t think of anything better than a portrait, so I went back to it and workshopped it a little. I talked to Mister Sage, and he told me he has a friend up North who’s an artist. They don’t just do paintings, but they print on fabric, too. So I put in an order.”
She chuckled. “That is kind of funny. ‘I went to Geneighva and all I got was a T-shirt,’ that’s a classic.”
“It’s not a T-shirt; it’s a pillow.”
Her heart skipped a beat.
He blushed and looked away. “Since… I know how much you like soft things. Pillows don’t break that easily, they can be fixed, the print can be restored. And I know you need a place to rest your head more than anything else. But it won’t be delivered until two weeks from now. I hope you’ll like it.”
She rested her head on his shoulder. “I think… I’ll love it.”
He nuzzled her cheek. “You feel tired, Ocellus. More than usual. Are you sure you’re fine?”
“I am now.”
Her mind raced. Her breath started to slow, and her head felt heavy. “I just need to rest a little. Can I rest with you?”
“Always.” He gave her another peck on the head, and led her to a nearby tree so they could sit in the shade. “And when that pillow gets here, you’ll get to rest with me even when I’m not there.”
She lay her head down on his lap. Even with everything feeling so heavy, her mind still tried to find an answer, come up with a solution. She couldn’t let the moment pass without giving him something.
“I love you,” she blurted out.
Tense silence fell for a moment. “I love you, too, Ocellus. Now go to sleep.”
“One hour. When the bells ring, you need to wake me up. And then… I don’t know. We should do something.”
“I’ll think of something in the meantime.”
“And you promise you’ll wake me up?”
“I promise. I’m not leaving your side.”
With that, she let go, and fell into a light sleep, a little catnap to catch up with the changeling boy she loved.
Ponies went by, coming and going. She vaguely heard him comment on some pony moving away, and one of the boys in town getting into some crosshairs or other. Change was in the air in Ponyville, though she couldn’t say if it would be for the better.
It was white noise to her, the sort that helped her sleep, and he knew exactly when to lower his voice or when to switch topics.
Part of her idly wondered just how much Ponyville had changed since she’d first arrived, or even before that.
With so many foreign students now pouring in, and other visitors, it felt odd to call ‘Pony’-ville now, at least from her perspective. Scutum certainly sounded like he agreed with that.
She couldn’t live here after graduation, she decided.
Another sigh, and she forced herself to stop thinking about the future, if only for a moment.
The future didn’t matter, not now.
Today would be perfect, and she’d be together with the boy she loved.
And no matter what, there would be more days to come, together.
And she could overthink and worry about all that tomorrow.
The End.
Author's Note
So, there it is. It's not perfect, but it's as good a place to end it as I could manage.
Some predator beetles, or spiders, I forget which, have this tactic of killing ants and swinging the body around their comrades so more ants come to try and rescue them. Given that, I thought it was a nice little touch to have Scutum's first response to Ocellus crying being 'this might be a trap.'
Beyond that, I didn't want to spell it out in the story, but the author's intent was to show that where Ocellus is book smart, Scutum is people smart. He understands habits, social rules, riddles and subtexts. Given that he had to hide his handicap for most of his life, it made sense to give him that sort of a background, and it pairs and contrasts well with Ocellus.
Everything else? I don't know. I hadn't planned on making this story, it was going to be a Bastion/Apple Bloom timeskip with my flagship OC's initially. But you can probably tell from how this thing turned out that I simply can't do stories of that scope any more.
I'm okay with ending it like this. It's positive, but cautious. The negatives are on the outside, and there's a young couple who can rely on each other to deal with both their own problems and the problems around them. They're good kids, shaking on the cusp of adulthood, and as the author I get to decree they have a happy ending. No compromise on that.
Hope you enjoyed, dear reader.
Take care.
Cracker out.