7: The Where-Wolves of Ponyville

I stared up at the night sky, deep in concentration.

If only I could figure out where Orion is...

"How long have we been walking?" Sweetie Belle asked wearily.

"About five hours," I replied.

Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes.

"There's no way it's been that long."

I scratched my chin.

"Say, Sweetie Belle, do you happen to know where Orion is?"

She just glowered at me.

"Uh, never mind," I said. "Let's just keep moving."

My tiny horse companion seemed tired and afraid. I was feeling a little worn-down myself. Whatever else happened, we had to make it out of this forest.

"I think there's a way out just through those trees over there," I said, pointing toward a shadowy opening not far ahead.

"That's what you said the last time, and it was just more trees!" She sounded like she was about to start crying. "Can we please just get out of here, Mr. Rusty? My sister is probably getting worried."

I glanced down at Sweetie Belle. Her marshmallow coat was smeared with dirt, and her mane was disheveled and stuck all over with brambles and pine needles.

Dammit, this little pony is counting on me. If only I could find Orion...

I sighed. For all I knew, we were on Orion.

Wait, is Orion a planet? Or is it a star? Damn National Geographic channel.

We trudged wearily through the opening in the trees, and found ourselves in a broad clearing. I noticed a weird-looking pile of sticks lying near the center. For some reason, it gave me a creepy feeling.

"Say, what's that?" I asked.

For a moment I thought it was the remains of someone's campfire. There were two glowing spots in the center of it, like embers. I lifted up my clip-on sunglasses so I could get a better look.

Huh, I probably should have taken these off earlier. It's much easier to see in the dark now.

Meanwhile, the bundle of sticks in front of me seemed to be moving. The two glowing points moved sharply upward. A long howl emanated from the center of the bush.

Sweetie Belle squeaked in alarm and darted behind my legs.

"T-timber wolves!" she cried.

The pile of sticks moved again. Overhead, a cloud moved away from the moon, casting the sticks in a pale glow. The pile had assumed the shape of a large wolf.

"Th-they're all around us..." Sweetie whispered.

Sure enough, I counted five of the strange wooden wolves forming a semicircle in front of us. To our backs was the thick growth we'd just crawled out of. We could try to make a dash for it, but I had a feeling that if we did, they'd be on us before we even made it halfway across the clearing.

Sweetie poked her head around from behind my legs.

"W-what should we do?"

I dropped into a tiger stance. Or maybe it was a dragon stance. I always get those two mixed up. Also, I'm not sure if either of them are real stances. In any case, I dropped into some kind of stance.

"I eat wolves like you for breakfast," I said. "'Least I would, 'cept I don't want to get splinters in my teeth. Shishishaw!"

The wolves tensed. Whatever they had instead of hackles were probably standing on edge.

"C-can you really handle them all?" whispered Sweetie. "What's your plan?"

I thought for a moment, then suddenly I slammed my fist into my palm.

"I just got it!"

Sweetie looked up hopefully.

"Timber wolves! It's like they're wolves, but they're made out of timb―YAAAAGH!!"

I let out a high-pitched shriek as something large and heavy crashed into me from the left. I went head over heels, rolling over a few times, and when I looked up, one of the wooden wolves was staring me in the face, growling.

It gnashed its teeth at me. I managed to move my head just in time, and it took a large bite out of the ground. Some kind of greenish-blue light flashed somewhere in the periphery of my vision, and a small stone hit the wolf in the cheek.

"Get away from him!" Sweetie Belle yelled defiantly.

The wolf clenched its teeth and lowered its body to the ground, turning its attention toward the little pony. It looked ready to pounce.

I grabbed a handful of sand from the ground next to me and flung it in the creature's eyes.

"Regular sand!"

It howled in frustration. Another small rock from Sweetie Belle hit it in the shoulder, and a few sticks dropped off of its body. I aimed a kick at one of its hind legs. The leg snapped in half, and the wolf collapsed to the ground just as I rolled out from under it.

Sweetie Belle came running toward me as I clambered to my feet. She just barely dodged the snapping jaws of another wolf.

"Look out!" I yelled.

Another wolf came barreling in from the side. Sweetie shrieked and rolled to the ground just as it sprang for her. It went sailing over her head and collided with a tree, its body breaking apart into sticks.

Meanwhile, the wolf that had pounced on me was trying to get to its feet. I picked up one of the rocks that Sweetie had thrown and hurled it. I hit him dead center in the chest. The wolf weaved drunkenly from side to side, snapping its jaws at the air, and then it collapsed into a pile of sticks, the green flame of its eyes extinguished.

That's two down...

I ran to where Sweetie Belle was as she scrambled back onto her hooves. Two more wolves were approaching from the side, growling, crouched as if ready to spring.

"What do we do, Mr. Rusty?!?"

"You got any more alien tricks you can do with that horn?"

"N-no, not really..."

"Then we should probably RUN!!"

I scooped her up off the ground as I ran past. Both wolves pounced at the same time. I dropped to the ground and rolled, clutching the little pony to my chest, and they crashed into each other, raining sticks and bramble onto my back.

Back on my feet, I dove through a gap in the trees, out of the clearing and back into the woods. I could hear the last wolf sprinting after us, its joints making an eerie clicking sound as it ran.

Sweetie Belle was heavier than she looked, and it was hard to run while carrying her. I didn't have to worry about it for too long, though, as I suddenly lost my footing, and we went rolling down the side of a steep hill.

We rolled faster and faster, twigs and thistles cutting through the fabric of my jumpsuit. My arms and legs felt like they were being shredded. Sweetie Belle's high-pitched shrieking was threatening to break my eardrums. I did my best to shield her with my body as we rolled.

Somewhere, I lost my grip on her and she went flying. Suddenly, I collided with something soft and wet. My face was buried in mud. At least I hoped it was mud.

I flailed my arms around. I could feel water splashing around me. Struggling for a few seconds, I finally managed to roll over onto my back. I wiped the mud from my glasses, and saw a clear sky filled with stars above me. No tree branches were blocking the view.

I still couldn't see the North Star. Or Orion. But it looked like we were finally out of the woods.

I sat up. It seemed like we'd landed in a small, shallow pond at the base of a tall hill. Further up the slope, menacing skeletal trees reached out with their branches, like they wanted to grab us and pull us back in. A few frustrated howls echoed from somewhere inside.

I turned to look in the opposite direction. The dim lights of what looked like a town were twinkling in the distance.

There was a splashing sound, and I saw Sweetie Belle wading towards me through the pond. She was covered in mud and muck, and her legs were shaking, but she didn't look hurt.

"Are you okay?"

She nodded.

"I think so."

She plopped down in the mud next to me, and we sat looking up at the stars in silence. We were both breathing hard, and I realized I was completely exhausted. Suddenly, I wanted nothing more than to curl up in this pond and go to sleep.

"Um, can we not tell anypony about the timber wolves?" she asked suddenly. "My sister will totally freak out if she finds out what happened."

"Okay.”

Neither of us said anything more for a good, long while. The night was cool and still. The unfamiliar stars were twinkling up above. Frogs croaked and crickets chirped.

I heard the soft clip-clopping of hooves on packed earth, and I turned to see a faint pink glow. Slowly I rose to my feet. I was covered in mud, my jumpsuit was almost completely shredded, and every part of my body was sore. The pink glow drew closer. Then, the darkness parted and that purple alien horse stepped into view.

"Twilight!"

Sweetie Belle squeaked with delight and ran towards her. Twilight frowned, examining Sweetie's matted, muddy coat and mane. Then she took a look at me.

"You're both filthy," she said. “What happened to you?"

"We... uh... we got lost in the Everfree Forest," stammered Sweetie Belle.

"Heh. Yeah, we noticed. Y'all were mostly goin' in circles."

Applejack emerged from the darkness behind Twilight, still wearing the hat that had unsettled me so. My relief evaporated as I suddenly realized that I'd only succeeded in getting myself re-captured by the very aliens I'd been trying to escape.

Why would a pony be wearing a cowboy hat? I wondered again. And why are the werewolves on this planet made out of wood?

Nothing made any sense to me, and I still had many questions. But I was tired. So very tired. My eyelids felt like they had lead weights tied to them.

I put my hands up slowly.

"I have decided to surrender peacefully," I mumbled.

The two larger ponies gave me a puzzled glance. Then they looked at each other. Twilight shrugged.

"Anyway," Applejack went on, as though I hadn't spoken. "Y'all are lucky you didn't get too far into that forest. You really shouldn't go wanderin' around in there after dark. If y'all had gotten much further in you could of been in a heap of trouble."

"What do you mean we didn't get very far?" demanded Sweetie Belle. "We were walking for miles and miles!"

Applejack looked amused.

"Uh, not really, sugar cube. Like I said, y'all were mostly goin' in circles. We were followin' your trail for awhile, but then you went off the path into some nasty-looking brambles, and... well, we figured you'd end up around here somewhere eventually, so we decided to try and head you off."

She looked us over, still smirking a little.

"I'm guessin' you're done playin' for the evenin'?"

"Ow!"

I felt a sharp kick in my shin, and looked down to see Sweetie Belle scowling at me. Applejack sniggered.

"I'll go 'head and take that as a yes. Anyway, I figure it's about time to be gettin' on home. Y'all had better come back to the farm first and wash up, you know how that Rarity hates muddy hooves."

"Yeah..."

Sweetie shot me one last angry glare, then trudged sulkily away after Twilight and Applejack.

Applejack glanced over her shoulder.

"Uh, you comin', Mr. Rusty? Or were you plannin' to sleep out in the woods tonight?"

I looked at the three ponies, and then back at the menacing outline of the forest on top of the hill.

"I'll come quietly."

For now.

I fell in line behind the three ponies. We trudged along through the grass in silence. A low howl echoed from the woods behind us, but it was faint. Ahead, the lights of a town called "Ponyville" were getting brighter and closer.