After my little library adventure, I decided to go back to what I was doing before, wandering around town.

As I stroll down the annoyingly cheerful streets, nodding at ponies who wave at me like I’m some kind of local hero, I notice that my so-called gaming system is still hovering quietly in the corner of my vision. Despite everything the thing has been behaving itself lately—no new notifications, no annoying pop-ups.

I jinxed it… didn’t I?

Ding!

[Achievement unlocked: ‘Taking a Stroll’ – Congratulations! You’ve walked 100 steps around Ponyville! +1 Gachapon Roll!]

I freeze mid-step. “God damn it…”

Ding!

Another one pops up.

[Achievement unlocked: ‘Breathe In, Breathe Out’ – Congrats on not forgetting how to breathe! +1 Gachapon roll!]

I groan, rubbing my temple with a hoof. “Oh, so that’s how it's gonna be?!”

Before I can even take another step, another notification pops up.

Ding!

[Achievement unlocked: ‘Sheriff on Patrol’ – You’ve been walking around town for five whole minutes! Wow, what dedication! +1 Gachapon Roll!]

I grit my teeth. “I swear, if this thing doesn’t stop...”

Ding!

[Achievement unlocked: ‘Hello There!’ – You waved at a passing pony. +1 Gachapon roll!]

I glare at the glowing screen in front of me, my eyes twitching. “Gandalf! What are you doing?! Even for cliches this is bad! Achievements for walking? Breathing? Waving? What's next, an achievement for blinking?”

Fuck me, I gave him ideas...

Ding!

[Achievement unlocked: ‘Blink and You’ll Miss It!’ – Congratulations! You blinked! +1 Gachapon Roll!]

I stand there, completely dumbfounded. The notifications keep coming, and there’s nothing I can do to stop them. It’s like some nightmare version of those old websites that hit you with a thousand pop-ups as soon as you clicked the wrong link.

Ding!

[Achievement unlocked: ‘Standing Ovation!’ – You’ve stood still for 30 seconds! Take a load off, champ! +1 Gachapon Roll!]

My hooves dig into the ground as I try to keep from losing it. “Why. Won’t. You. Stop?”

Ding!

[Achievement unlocked: ‘Cool as a Cucumber’ – You didn’t explode in anger! +1 Gachapon roll!]

My eye twitches again. “Oh… I am close… you annoying God.”

Ding!

[Achievement unlocked: ‘Talking to Yourself’ – You muttered under your breath. Are you okay? +1 Gachapon roll!]

I groan loudly and try to ignore it, continuing my walk down the street. But the notifications won’t stop. Every little thing I do—every step, every breath, every thought—it’s all an excuse for another achievement.

Ding!

[Achievement unlocked: ‘One Step Closer’ – You’ve taken 500 steps! Slow down, you’re making the rest of us look bad! +1 Gachapon Roll!]

Ding!

[Achievement unlocked: ‘Not a Statue’ – You moved again after standing still for a while! What a champ! +1 Gachapon Roll!]

I clench my jaw, resisting the urge to scream. “This is my hell… I am not in an isekai, I’m in my personal hell…”

Ding!

[Achievement unlocked: ‘Trying Your Best’ – You’re making it through the day! Keep going, champ! +1 Gachapon roll!]

I stop dead in my tracks, glaring at the endless stream of pop-ups. “You know what? Give me infinite rolls for all I care! I’m not playing your game. I’m not rolling for anything. You can give me all the achievements in the world, but I’m not touching that stupid Gachapon.”

Ding!

[Achievement unlocked: ‘Defiant Hero’ – You refused to roll! What a rebel! +2 Gachapon rolls!]

I throw my head back and groan. “You’ve got to be kidding me!”

Ponies around me are starting to stare, probably wondering why the new sheriff is yelling at thin air. I plaster a fake smile on my face, trying to look like everything is fine, like I’m not being driven insane by an invisible notification system.

Ding!

[Achievement unlocked: ‘Holding It Together’ – You haven’t screamed at anypony in public yet! +1 Gachapon roll!]

I grit my teeth and keep walking, my eyes twitching as more and more notifications pop up in front of me, each one more ridiculous than the last.

Ding!

[Achievement unlocked: ‘Breathing Is Hard’ – You’ve taken 1,000 breaths! Keep it up! +1 Gachapon Roll!]

Ding!

[Achievement unlocked: ‘Looking Good!’ – You passed a reflective surface. Looking sharp, Sheriff! +1 Gachapon Roll!]

I force myself to keep walking, ignoring the system as best as I can. But the more I try to ignore it, the more persistent it gets.

Ding!

[Achievement unlocked: ‘Step by Step’ – You’ve walked 1,000 steps! At this rate, you’ll walk all the way to Canterlot! +1 Gachapon Roll!]

I stop again, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. “Keep them coming bud, I WON'T rolling for anything. So by all means.”

Ding!

[Achievement unlocked: ‘Strong-Willed’ – You still haven’t rolled! +3 Gachapon rolls!]

I grit my teeth. “How about an achievement for shutting up?”

Ding!

[Achievement unlocked: ‘Talking Back’ – You sassed the system! +1 Gachapon roll!]

“Okay, that’s it,” I mutter to myself. “I’m gonna find a way to turn you off if it’s the last thing I do.”

The notifications don’t stop. They just keep piling up, one after the other, until I feel like I’m drowning in them. Every little thing I do—every twitch, every breath, every movement—it’s all being tracked and rewarded with more achievements, more rolls, more noise.

I keep walking, forcing myself to focus on something—anything—other than the constant barrage of notifications. Maybe if I just ignore it long enough, it’ll get bored and go away.

But then, another notification pops up.

Ding!

[Achievement unlocked: ‘You know how to stop this, admit Isekais are the best! +1 Gachapon roll]

“Never!” I reply, glaring at the screen.

Ding!

[Achievement unlocked: ‘So be it’ – You haven’t rolled yet! +1 Gachapon Roll!]

How sad has the life of a god has to be that he has to annoy a random mortal? Oh well, it doesn’t matter… I will eventually tune this out, like I did most of my college.

Ding!

[Achievement unlocked: ‘Determined’ – You’re sticking to your guns! +5 Gachapon rolls!]

I slap a hoof to my face and groan loudly. “I need a drink. Preferably, something with enough caffeine to kill an elephant…”

Ignoring the notifications as best as I can, I turn and head in the direction of the nearest bar, hoping that maybe, just maybe, I can drown my frustration in a cup of coffee.

But even as I walk away, the system isn’t done with me yet.

Ding!

[Achievement unlocked: ‘Seeking Caffeine’ – You’re on your way to get coffee! +1 Gachapon roll!]

I sigh, muttering under my breath as I keep walking. “This town is going to drive me insane.”

[Achievement unlocked: ‘Ok, you win for now, I ran out of ideas for stupid achievements, but I’ll be back!’ +1 Gachapon roll!]

Did... did he just steal the entire Genshin Impact system?

Ok I really need to drink some coffee, I can't deal with this right now.

The coffee shop is... cozy, and filled with the usual crowd of cheerful ponies who seem like they’ve never had a bad day in their whole lives. Meanwhile, I’m sitting in the darkest most brooding corner of this place, clutching my sixth... no, seventh? Cup of coffee like it’s the only thing keeping me alive. Because right now, it might very well be!

Turns out, no matter the world... coffee was life.

“Another one,” I mumble, sliding the empty mug across the table toward the barista.

The mare behind the counter, bright and bubbly, as every one here is, of course, raises an eyebrow. “Uh, Sheriff, don’t you think you’ve had enough?”

I narrow my eyes at her. “I’ll tell you when I’ve had enough.”

She gives me a hesitant nod, disappearing behind the counter to make me another cup. I lean back in my chair, feeling the caffeine buzz already rattling through my brain like a jackhammer. My heart’s racing, my hooves are tapping uncontrollably, and I’m pretty sure I can see sounds now, but I don’t care. This is what I need!

A new mug is placed in front of me, and I grab it with both hooves, bringing it to my mouth like it’s holy water.

“Oh yeah, that’s the stuff,” I mutter after a long, satisfying sip.

I’m getting some stares from the other ponies with their dainty cups, sipping their little espressos like they aren’t real coffee drinkers. HA! Amateurs! I, on the other hoof, am a professional coffee drinker. I could drink these sugary, caffeinated lifelines all day!

"Are you... okay?" the barista asks, clearly worried now.

I give her a wild-eyed smile. “Never better. Just... fueling up.”

She opens her mouth to say something, but I’m already gulping down the rest of the coffee, slamming the cup down on the table like a drunk demanding another round. “More.”

“I, uh, think you might want to pace yourself...” she tries.

I shake my head vigorously. “Pacing’s for the weak.”

The jittery feeling in my hooves spreads up to my ears, but instead of stopping, I just laugh. “I could run all over this technicolor town twenty times before anyone notices me!”

The barista exchanges a look with another pony nearby, her eyes wide with concern. “Maybe some water—?”

“More coffee!” I insist, holding out the empty mug. “Come on, don't cut me off. I need my energy to... keep the town safe, yeah... let's go with that.”

She backs away slowly, mumbling something about getting another pot ready, but I don’t care. The caffeine has taken hold, and I feel... invincible. My mind’s racing a mile a minute, and for the first time since I got here, I actually feel like I’m in control.

Author's Note

How many rolls does our protagonist has thus far? And should he roll for the banner?