Imperfect Strangers

The tension in Sunburst’s body was gone for now but he was mentally aloof through every class he taught the next day. Later he would try to tell Hat Trick about his true origin, decidedly without the distraction of Starlight's presence. Would he view him differently afterwards? What would he think about his mother? Would it make things exponentially worse on him or would it be just more rain lost in a rainstorm. Every time he had doubts about it his brain would inevitably return to the axiom that he just needed to stress love, acceptance and stability for the colt. If he just had those everything would work itself out in due time.

Apple Bloom knocked twice before poking her head into Sunburst's office with his mail in her mouth. She spat it out on his desk. “Got yer box.”

“Thank you, Apple Bloom. I always forget.”

“Ya sure cleaned out that office quick,”

“Oh, uh yeah,” he smiled awkwardly, unsure if it was okay to tell her who really cleaned the office for him.

“How do ya stay so productive through everythin’?” asked the young mare.

“Well, like I said, I either stay busy or I crash.”

When it came time Sunburst hurried over to the schoolhouse to meet Hat Trick.

He sidled up to the boy as the foals spilled out of the building. “Hey buddy, want to go to Sugar Cube Corner, just you and me?

“Yeah,” he nodded with a bit more enthusiasm than at past suggestions.

Sunburst decided that this was the best way to soften the blow of the news. Starlight had decided that she should be conveniently out for the day to give them their privacy and not present to further agitate the colt.

Sunburst teleported them home so that his son could get rid of his saddle bag and then promptly took them to Sugar Cube Corner.

“What can I get?” Hat asked his dad at the counter.

“Whatever you want,” he answered with a weak smile.

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

Despite hearing this he was highly judicious in his selection, getting a two scoop ice cream sundae. Sunburst had ice cream too but found himself too distracted to enjoy it or even be aware that he was eating it at all. He looked across the table at Hat Trick who was gazing out the window of their booth. There was sadness but also still wonder in his eyes. From the boy’s perspective this would be the last thing they ever did together as biological father and son.

“Did you have a good day at school?” asked sunburst.

I guess,” replied Hat still looking out the window. “Did you have a good day at school?”

“I guess.”

Sunburst's spoon scraped the bottom of his cup and he scooped air into his mouth once before realizing the ice cream was gone.

“Thank you,” said hat.

“Huh?”

“For the ice cream.”

“Oh yeah,” he breathed. “You're welcome. Ready to go?

He nodded wordlessly.

No more stalling or mental preparation. It was time. They threw their trash away and teleported home into the living room.

Sunburst scratched his chin uncomfortably. “Um, Hat? Can you sit with me on the couch for a minute? I have something to tell you about your mom... and you… and me. It's really important.” He took a seat and waited for the colt to join him.

Hat Trick sat down on the other end of the couch predicting another quasi therapy session from his dad over the loss of his mother. He turned to face him with an innocent sort of anticipation.

Sunburst breathed a fatalistic sigh. “First of all I really want you to understand that this doesn't change how I feel about you at all. I still love you just as much.”

Hat frowned, taken aback by his strange preamble. He was at a complete loss as to anticipate what could possibly be coming next.

“You already know where foals come from… more or less so I don't have to explain that part. So when two ponies make a foal together it's usually very special and ideally you only do it with your one special somepony. Sometimes ponies accidentally make a foal when they didn't intend to. That's not all that uncommon really. It's where I came from and also your mother. Sometimes ponies make foals with other ponies they don't really know or even care about at all.

“Why would they do that?” he shrugged, becoming more and more perturbed by the topics they were covering.

“Because ponies like the sex part of making a foal but don't want to make a foal every time because that's a big responsibility. It's like… those jars that the pickles come in. They look cool and it's nice to keep a few of them after they're empty but we can't just keep every single one; we’ll run out of room eventually. So at some point we keep eating the pickles but we don't keep the jars anymore.”

“Oh,” nodded the colt. "But no one gets rid of foals though.”

Sunburst tilted his head, knowing it wasn't a perfect analogy. “Well… Usually they take medicine or something to make sure the mare can't get pregnant so that there is never a foal.” He rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. “Listen, I know this is all kind of confusing for you to absorb right now but we're getting off track. Let's rewind. You know that I was married to your mom. Typically when you marry someone, you're promising to them that you're not going to have sex or make foals with anyone else but them. Well sometimes ponies break that promise and it's very sad especially for the other pony. Your mom… broke that promise to me and she accidentally made a foal with another stallion and… that foal is you.”

At first Hat looked confused but then the color drained from his face as the delicately worded explanation began to click. His mouth dropped open and fear filled his eyes. None of what his dad said made any sense. How could it be true?

“That… That can't be right,” stammered Hat aghast. “That's not possible. Why would you say that?”

“This isn't something I made up, Hat. Those are her own words. That's what she wrote in the letter to me that she left in the trunk. I didn't believe it at first when I saw it either but she even had a test done to find out if I was your biological father and it came back negative. I'm not blood related to you.”

“What does this mean?” he cried. “Why would she do something like that?”

Sunburst’s dismayed frown deepened. “I don't know. Sometimes ponies get bored of being with just one other pony or some just think it's fun to cheat. There are actually a lot of reasons but your mom said it was a mistake and that she was sorry.”

“But then I was a mistake,” he blurted.

Sunburst shook his head emphatically. “No, you're an accident like I was and like your mom was. It doesn't mean no one wants you. It just means they weren't quite ready when you came.”

“Who is my dad then if it isn't you?” he asked, voice straining into a squeak.

Sunburst disliked the semantics of his question. He was sure he didn't mean it that way but the suggestion of him losing the title of ‘dad’ felt like it discounted all the care he'd given the colt up to this point in his life.

“It's another unicorn,” he sighed. “I know his name but not where he lives.”

Hat hung his head and buried his face in his hooves in dismay. Everything he thought he knew about himself and his family was fake or a happy illusion. He suddenly had no parents at all now. He wasn't Sunburst's. Sunburst didn't have any familial ties or obligations to him. He was basically an orphan staying in someone's house. Suddenly it dawned on him that Starlight wasn't actually the intruder in their life, he was the intruder in theirs.

His stomach was sick. Everything felt like it was spinning. Sunburst stretched a hoof out to comfort him just as he vanished from sight with a magical flash.

“Hat Trick?” he called looking around the room in surprise. He had left. Sunburst teleported to the colt’s room. “Hat Trick?” He hadn't gone to his room. Sunburst teleported back to the living room and called louder this time but the whole house was silent in response. He felt a sudden sinking feeling in his gut. - - -

“Nothing like this has ever happened before,” wept Sunburst helplessly from the park bench. “He can't teleport very far but he could still be anywhere by now. You were right, I should have waited to tell him. I never thought he'd do anything like this.” He hung his head and looked at the photo of Hat in his hooves.

Sitting beside him, Starlight put a foreleg around his back. “I don't know that there's ever a great time to hear what had to be said,” she replied. “We can't do anything but keep looking. If we can't find him he'll come back I think. Kids that run away usually come back within a couple of days.”

They'd already been looking for hours. They reported the situation to the police department who helped spread the word. Volunteers were canvassing the town and the surrounding area. Some local pegasi searched from the air. On the ground They had already checked all of Hat’s friends’ houses and his favorite places but no one had seen the colt or any trace of him since he'd run off.

Starlight thought for a regretful moment that perhaps if she had never come back to Ponyville this wouldn't have happened but no, it was inevitable that he have this reckoning and probably sooner rather than later.

Sunburst shook his head. “He must hate me now.”

“No. Why would he hate you? He's just upset and confused. He doesn't know how to process all of this. That's why I think he'll come back when he calms down but we shouldn't stop looking. I'll check the east side of town,” she suggested. “Even though I'm doubtful that he'll come to me of all ponies but maybe I can catch him if I find him. You should check elsewhere to cover more ground.” - - -

Hat's name echoed through the woods behind the school. It was a voice he didn’t recognize, not that he would have come out if he had recognized it. He heard the distant sound of snapping twigs alerting him that someone was fairly close by now. He had already relocated once to go further out of town; he didn't want to have to do it again.

Hat hugged the tree branch beneath his body just like a chameleon. With his coat magically altered to that of the color and texture of the surrounding leaves he was confident that even a pony traipsing right underneath him wouldn't notice his presence.

He had left home without anything or even a plan so he used his time in hiding to make one. For all his short life he thought he belonged here in Ponyville in a family with Sunburst but that was wrong. Just because that was all he'd ever known didn't mean he was supposed to be there. The only parent he'd ever had was Trixie and she was gone. He still hated performance magic. First it took her time from him. Then it led her astray and then it took her forever. But what if he was cursed to be a traveling performer just like her?

Hat Trick clenched his eyes shut as he tried to sort out his thoughts. They were all jumbled. He wasn't actually angry at Sunburst. Sunburst didn't do anything wrong except let Starlight into the house. That was bad.

Starlight was a full grown mare who wanted a close relationship with Sunburst which he did not like at all but now that Sunburst wasn't even his, he felt like he had to cede all of his claim over his old guardian which made him doubly frustrated.

His mom, who he still cared for deeply, betrayed Sunburst and kept the secret from the both of them. That hurt him inside a lot. How could she do something like that but still be so good to him? It seemed paradoxical. How was it possible to be so upset over something she did when he was still so upset over her death? Why was life so cruel that it would kick him while he was down?

He'd been missing for over four hours now and he was feeling famished. The sun would set soon. He would just keep waiting until he thought everyone was asleep. Then he’d go back to his room to get his saddle bag and a few things and then he'd load up on food in the kitchen before leaving again. Even though his first inclination was to try and seek out the complete stranger who was his biological father he didn't know where he was and hadn't even gotten a name before he vanished. For now he'd hitch a ride on a train into the city where there were opportunities and no one was looking for him. From there he would just have to figure things out from now on.

The thought of leaving all his friends and everyone he knew and going out on his own terrified him but it was the only way he was going to find the place where he belonged and if he couldn't find that place he would just have to make it himself. In the end wasn't he just fated to leave anyway like his mom and her parents and whoever his dad was?

The sound of crunching leaves and twigs tapered off into nothing as the stranger's voice began to die away along with it. - - -

It was a little past eleven o'clock according to the clock tower at the town center. Hat wasn't supposed to stay up this late. It was dark and the streets had emptied out considerably. Still he avoided being seen by anyone out, sure that if one stranger was looking for him any of them could be. The woods were scary after dark so he had moved back into town prompted by the disappearance of the sun.

The little colt stood at the mouth of an alley across the street from his house. Every window was dark. They must have been asleep. Perfect. In and out in under five minutes. Then he'd go to the station and wait for an eastbound train and he wouldn't look back no matter how hard things got. Even if he had to steal food to survive. His horn blinked and he appeared in his own bedroom. It was dark inside except for his night light which still glowed even in his absence.

From the corner he grabbed his saddle bag and dumped out all of his school supplies. Wouldn't be needing those. He slipped on a hoodie from his closet and packed a hat and all the money from his piggy bank. He glanced around his room and sighed, more than a little sad to be letting it all go. He picked up a family photo of him, his mom, Sunburst and Sunburst's mom, the mare he called grandma who was now not his grandma. He wavered on it for several moments before finally stuffing the framed photo in his bag. Some comics. Lip balm. A multi tool. He wondered if he was being practical enough. He needed to save room for food for the rough transition to his new life.

Hat set the bag on his back. Then he focused on the kitchen, planning on teleporting there to raid the cupboards quickly before leaving. But when he channeled the magic into his horn nothing happened. He frowned and quickly cleared his mind intending to try again.

Suddenly he heard a soft click behind him. The colt spun around to see Starlight standing there in front of the closed door.

“You weren't really going to leave again, were you?” she asked quietly.

“What if I am?” he growled. “Why do you care?” Hat quickly tried the spell once more to blink from the room, now needing to just run but the magic fizzled out inertly just as before. He stamped his foot angrily. “Ugh! What is going on?”

“I warded your bedroom,” explained Starlight. “You can teleport in but not out. The spell effect should only last another five to six hours but until then the only way out is through this door.”

Hat trick looked over his shoulder to the window.

“Don't even bother,” began Starlight. “I put the window similarly in stasis; it won't open and it's practically unbreakable in the state it's in.”

He turned back to scowl at her. “How do you know how to do all that stuff?”

“Innate magical talent, reading a lot of books and practice, practice, practice.”

“Well, why are you doing this?”

“I care about what happens to you because Sunburst cares and because you're Trixie's son and the only piece left of her.” She shook her head. “But honestly even if I didn't know you at all, I'd still try to stop you.”

“You're ruining everything for me," he snarled. “You shouldn't even be here.”

“You're making a mistake,” she replied evenly. “Running away isn't the answer. Leaving your whole safety net behind is one of the worst decisions you can make, especially as a young foal. I know you're upset right now but just stop and think about it for a minute.”

“You ran away twice from what I heard.” He retorted.

“And look what it got me, a lot of turmoil and wasted time because I was angry and stubborn. It wasn't until I came back that I finally realized exactly how much I had hurt and scared everyone around me. You're hurting your dad right now.”

Hat looked away. “He's not my dad.”

“He still has feelings and he's the closest thing to a dad that you have. He’s been your dad for longer than your mom was your mom. He raised you like you were his son. Are you just forgetting all that?”

“You don't know anything about us,” he spat.

“I knew your mom before you did; I knew the her she probably never talked about. I've known your dad for even longer than you have.”

He threw up his hooves. “Fine! What does that change? You made everything worse when you came. You just appeared out of nowhere after she died like-” Suddenly it clicked together in his mind exactly what his aversion was to Starlight Glimmer. He pointed his hoof at her with narrowed eyes. “You… you wanted to replace her this whole time. He wanted to replace her with you!”

“That's not true, Hat,” she pleaded. “The fact is that I was friends with your mom and dad but I've been angry at them for a very long time. When I heard she died I suddenly realized that the last thing we ever shared together was a fight and the book on our relationship was closed forever. I came back because I wanted to find a way to finally stop being angry at her even though she was gone and we'd never talk again. I wanted the book to have a different ending than the one it got.”

Starlight's expression softened. “Your mother is irreplaceable. Ponies aren't replaceable at all. I can't be her. The only thing I can do is be the best me and hope that others will accept me for it. I know your life is going through a lot of really awful changes right now, things that shouldn't have to happen to anyone. It won't ever be the same again and I'm sorry but the path you take now is between healing or more hurting. Believe it from someone who already walked that path.”

Hat shook his head stubbornly. “I was never even supposed to be with him in the first place. I was never supposed to exist at all. Their marriage was a mistake. I'm just supposed to be some loner who travels around and has no home or family. Now you can get whatever it is you want here and I won’t bother you so just let me go!”

Starlight gritted her teeth in frustration. “Love isn't a zero sum game. There's enough for everyone. He doesn't have to pick between us. He doesn't want to pick between us. You don't even have your cutie mark yet. You're eight years old. How do you know what you're supposed to be? You can still choose to admire and become the good parts of your mom and choose something else for the not as good parts. Right now you already have someone who's out there wandering around alone in the dark and crying because he can't find you. What are you going to find out there that's more valuable than that?”

Her final argument landed like a mallet on his heart. “I… I don't know,” his voice cracked. Hat Trick dropped to his haunches and hung his head as he began to bawl.

Starlight sighed. Part of her wanted to go over and comfort him. Part of her wanted to stay where she was and guard the door. He was really losing it though, slumping until he was flat on the floor and heaving.

She walked over to him and sat down. “Hey, you're okay. I know this is a lot to have happen all at once but just think, you get to sleep in a warm bed tonight and don't have to worry about where your next meal is coming from.”

“I’m the one who ruined everything,” he sobbed.

“No you're not. Nobody ruined anything. We're all just trying to make it through a bad situation.”

“But I was mean for no reason,” he wailed.

Starlight scratched her head. “Well… why don't we pretend the last few days just never happened and start over from the beginning?”

She stood up and turned to face him before holding out her hoof. “Hi, I'm Starlight Glimmer. What's your name?” She held her pose and her soft smile as she waited patiently for his response.

Hat sniffed and wiped his eyes. He looked up at her outstretched hoof and then at her quizzically. Starlight wagged her hoof expectantly and maintained her expression. He arose hesitantly but held out his own hoof to touch hers. “Um… I'm Hat Trick," he mumbled weakly.

“Nice to meet you,” she replied.

They shook.

“What do you like to do for fun, Hat Trick?”

He blinked back at her, still bewildered by what they were doing but answered earnestly. “I like reading books and comics and playing board games.”

“Hey, I like those things too,” nodded Starlight. “Do you have a favorite comic series?”

“I like Red Doctrine the best.” He suddenly remembered the short conversation they'd had about comics where he'd given the same answer to her before storming off.

“I haven't heard of that one. What's it about?”

“Uh. It's this archaeologist who finds this weird artifact that gives him the power to sightjack other ponies and see visions of the past.”

“Sightjack? Like see through their eyes?”

“Yeah, but he has to do it through objects that those ponies have left a strong enough imprint on like a diary, a painting or a murder weapon. He uses it to solve mysteries and crimes. There's a lot of historical stuff too.”

“That does sound interesting,” mused Starlight. “How many issues do you have?”

“All of them up to the current one.”

“Can I… read them?” she asked. “I'll be careful.”

“Uh… Okay…” He'd never had a conversation like this with an adult before and it was kind of blowing his mind.

“Thanks.” Her eyebrows suddenly went up. “Oh, you know what? I just remembered that I have something that you might be interested in.” Her horn flashed and she summoned a comic book out of thin air. She levitated it to him.

Hat Trick lit his horn to see better in the dim light and found that it was a faded comic that looked to be older than either Starlight or Sunburst, an antiquated tale for a previous generation. He muttered the title aloud, “The Im… pastable Adventures of the Noodle?” He looked up at her in confusion before continuing. The cover image showed a masked villain tangled in what looked like the orange coils of very long and stretchy legs belonging to the hero christened the Noodle.

Oh cripes, it's the Noodle, exclaimed a speech bubble above the scowling stallion’s head. Evil doers beware, boasted the hero. The Noodle is on the prowl!

He looked back at Starlight again, this time with disbelief at the absurdity which floated before him.

“This is actually issue three,” she explained. “But it does have at least a recap of his origin story. There was an accident at the pasta factory and his DNA got infused with genetically modified spaghetti.”

Hat’s eyes were red and his face hurt but for a moment he forgot about that and smiled faintly. “That's so stupid,” he snorted, looking back at the comic. “Where did you get this?”

“From the antique fair. You said you were looking for stupid heroes and I thought that sounded fun. I got something for your dad there too… not a comic. Anyway, I was going to give this to you for a lark but there was never really a good time. Not that right now is an amazing time.” Originally she had planned to just leave it behind with a note when she left.

“You got this for me?” he marveled.

“Yeah.”

“Thanks…” He took it with his magic.

“We can talk more about comics later but we should really go tell your dad that you're back. I should go tell my dad that I'm back too for that matter.” - - -

The irony of the situation was that now Starlight and Hat were outside combing the area and looking for Sunburst. It took some time to find him having moved over by the abandoned factory to search for his lost son. They spotted his light on the ground below before they heard his voice. Starlight teleported them straight there.

“Dad,” Hat called to Sunburst’s back.

Almost not believing his ears, the weary and beleaguered stallion spun around with a start.

“Hat?”

His heart leapt. He galloped to him and they wrapped their forelegs around one another in a desperate hug. “I was so worried,” he cried. “Never do that again.”

“I'm sorry I made you look for me,” sobbed the colt as his composure fell apart once again.

Starlight looked on trying not to cry herself. There had already been far too much crying on this trip.

Sunburst set him down but still embraced him. “It doesn't matter that you're not related to me. I can't lose you. This is your home, here with me. Did you come back on your own?”

“I was going to get some things from the house and then leave on a train,” he admitted. “But then Starlight convinced me to stay.”

“She did? Where were you this whole time?”

Hat swallowed. “In a tree mostly.”

Sunburst laughed through his tears. “Camouflaging?”

“Yeah.”

“You're very good at disappearing. Let's go home; it's been a crazy day and we all need to get to bed.

“I'm really hungry though,” said Hat Trick, finally letting go of him.

“I bet you are. Maybe we should just stop by the all night diner.”