Imperfect Strangers

Sunburst and a gaggle of other parents waved goodbye to their foals as they rumbled away in the big cart hitched to Big Mac. They'd have a bit of a trip out to the Apple's farm and back into town and the party itself would be at least 3 hours. That gave him an unexpectedly large chunk of time alone with Starlight that he hadn't figured out what to do with yet. It was a rare opportunity so it felt like they should take advantage of it.

Sunburst teleported back home and looked himself over in the entryway mirror, teasing his mane back and forth with one hoof. His eyes affixed to the silver wedding band around his horn. He raised a hoof to caress the little metallic ridge.

Rings were a symbol of promise and loyalty. His wife was gone now, their contract dissolved. The band around his horn was simply a memento now, no longer meaning what it once did. Wasn't it time to remove it? Of course he didn't have to; he could do whatever he wanted. Some continued to wear their rings to show that they were off the market or uninterested in a new romantic relationship but to him it just seemed strange to keep wearing a wedding ring around when he wasn't married.

He twisted it loose with his magic and slipped It off. Then he tumbled it slowly in the air in front of his face as he looked it over, finding small scratches and imperfections. In nine years he had never taken it off, not since Trixie placed it on him at their wedding. He glanced back up at his horn and felt the now naked spot again with one hoof. The surface was strange now. He slid open the bureau drawer and placed the ring inside before shutting it.

Sunburst found Starlight reading lazily at the kitchen table. A sci-fi novel she'd picked off of a bookshelf of mostly historical nonfiction. Sunburst paused in the doorway and scratched his nose uncomfortably. Then he cleared his throat.

“Hat’s going to be gone for a few hours. You want to go do something in town?”

Starlight's ears perked up with intrigue as she paused her reading. This sounded advantageous. Undivided attention, privacy, quality adult company, Why was that prospect so exciting?

“Oh, sure,” she agreed with more gusto than she had intended. She snapped the book shut. “Did you have anything in mind?”

Sunburst leaned on the doorframe. “The birthday party kind of came out of nowhere so I hadn't planned on the day going like this.”

“Well it's lunch time right now. We could go out to eat somewhere,” she proposed.

Starlight grimaced apprehensively as she immediately began to scrutinize her own plan. Going out to eat seemed like such a natural suggestion to make but once again she had forgotten about optics and decorum. Going out to an event with him and his son was one thing but going out with him alone to eat, possibly somewhere nice, was an even more provocative move.

“On second thought, is that really a good idea for us to go out in public right after…” she wasn't sure how to put this elegantly. “You know… everything that's happened?”

Sunburst swallowed nervously as he considered this. “Well it's not like it's a date or anything.”

“Of course not,” laughed Starlight awkwardly, embarrassed at her own presumptuousness. “I’m just saying other ponies might think things and I don't want you to-”

He shrugged. “Two ponies are allowed to just go out and talk over food at a restaurant,” he countered quickly. “You're just here visiting, right? I mean I'm fine with it as long as you don't mind going out in public. I know you're trying to keep a low profile and-”

“It'll be fine probably,” she bluffed. But now that she really thought about it, the two of them had known each other for so many years now and no one had ever known them as being romantically entangled because they weren't ever. So shouldn't it be fine if they were seen together dining? Then again only the ponies who knew both of them would think that…

They'd both essentially laid their cards on the table about their feelings a time or two before and yet in light of all that had happened and transpired between them they had become coy once again, fumbling through their words with uncertainty and second-guessing themselves at every turn. Neither wanted to stymie the fledgling reboot of their relationship… whatever it was.

Starlight quickly bulldozed all of the annoying jumbled thoughts leaping out at her like popcorn in an open fire. “Let's go right now,” she blurted with conviction as she scooted out of her chair. “Just let me go get my satchel first. Be right back.”

Starlight teleported away to her room, grabbed her satchel and checked her reflection in the mirror. She floated her new hair brush through her mane a few times and after about as much sprucing up as she had time and resources for she then teleported back to Sunburst.

“Alright,” she said with a gentle smile.

The stallion teleported them straight to a street corner in downtown Ponyville. Starlight immediately became self-conscious again around so many other ponies but tried to calm herself down as they walked. It looked like the area had developed a lot in her absence.

“Okay, how about this place?” he asked, gesturing to the restaurant coming up on their left. “It's new to you and it's Crystal Region cuisine.”

“Sounds great,” she agreed.

He held the door open for her with his magic and they stepped inside. Lunch time on a weekend meant the restaurant was crowded but their party was small enough to be seated without a wait.

“Any drinks to start out with today?” asked the Crystal Pony waiter.

Sunburst opened his mouth to speak but paused as if he’d forgotten or changed his mind abruptly.

“Just water for me.”

“Me too,” added Starlight. She watched their server disappear into the kitchen. “Wow… we didn't have any Crystal Ponies in Ponyville when I was here,” she whispered. ”Not even at the school.”

“We have at least five enrolled there now,” said Sunburst.

“That's so cool. And you have this restaurant in town. You come here when you miss home?” she asked facetiously.

Sunburst scoffed as he opened up the menu. “I almost forgot I lived there, honestly. I lived in a castle… You ever look back at something you did and feel like it was something from someone else's life?”

“All the time,” she breathed. She had lived in a castle too, for a little bit anyway…

“So do you know what your plans are yet?” he asked, his eyes looking up briefly to meet hers.

The question forced her to consider a concrete time frame for ending her visit that wouldn't be overstaying but also a commitment to returning to what she called home. It would be nice to have a place other than the world she'd been living in but she had to call that idea what it was: a fantasy.

It was nice visiting Sunburst. It was nice visiting Ponyville even as a spy. It was nice being less angry all the time. But things were still complicated. She still harbored the tiniest hope that Hat Trick would warm up to her eventually but for right now it seemed he couldn't stand her and once upon a time she wanted to kill his mother and the mare who became Sunburst's wife. That was something she could never admit to anyone.

“I guess I'll leave Friday and go see my dad on my way back,” she quickly decided.

Sunburst nodded slowly trying to mask his displeasure at the thought of her vanishing from his life again and going so incredibly far away. He closed the menu. “But you'll come back sometimes, won't you?”

She looked at the helpless pleading eyes behind the glasses and felt a painful tug inside her chest. “Yeah, of course,” she murmured.

The server returned with their waters and they both decided that they were ready to order.

There was something eerily familiar about the dynamic of this situation. She couldn't help but recall the dinner date she’d scheduled with him so many winters ago, the one she invited Trixie to and felt like a third wheel at when she'd shown up a little too late. She hadn't known it then but the game was already over for her at that one mistake.

There was then the ensuing string of obligations that kept her hamstrung while Trixie essentially courted him behind the scenes and she could do nothing about it but fume in her office. Now, in a sense, the script had been flipped. She was the one with endless free time trying to spend it with Sunburst. That made Hat Trick the slighted other party vying to get his attention back or something like that. Trapped at a birthday party while his dad went out on a not date with the strange mare who shouldn't be here. But unlike Trixie, Starlight wished to respect the boundaries of others even if Hat Trick and her weren't friends. She wasn't going to pull Sunburst away from him, especially when he needed him most.

“What are your plans?” she countered, before taking a sip of water.

He blinked at her. “Plans?”

“Yeah. Are you going to be making any big life changes now or in the not too distant future?”

Sunburst shook his head. “I don't think so. I think we just both want stability at this point. I love my job. I want to do it for the rest of my life probably. I've always wanted to teach Hat Trick someday when he gets into the School of Friendship. I don't want us to move anywhere. Maybe we'll downsize and get a smaller place but we’ll definitely stay here.”

Starlight looked out the window at the passing ponies on the street. “You're always so down to earth. I don't think having a kid changed you at all.” For that matter it didn't change Trixie either she thought to herself.

Sunburst laughed weakly and scratched his hoof on the table. “So… what did Trixie say in the letter?” he asked as if he had seen right into her brain.

Sirens went off in Starlight's head as her thoughts returned to the contentious letter that she had decidedly hidden away in her room. Don't do this to me she begged with her inner voice. I don't want to lie to you.

Sensing her hesitation he began to backpedal. “You don't have to share everything or anything at all. I was just wondering about the general feeling it gave off. It's just been bothering me.”

It was clear to her that what he really wanted out of the letter was peace of mind knowing that his late wife hadn't foolishly said anything abrasive to her in a private letter while also not suggesting that such a thing might possibly happen.

“It was congenial," she replied. She couldn't even say that it was conciliatory because that might imply that Trixie thought that their marriage was a mistake and perhaps by extension Hat was a mistake. Just a couple of millstones around the neck of a traveling entertainer but that wasn't completely true. She clearly cared for them according to what she'd written in confidence.

“She said she missed me,” continued Starlight. “And she told me that you got married and had a son.”

It was then that she noticed the absence of the ring on his horn. Holy shit, she thought. She quickly looked away, lest he catch her staring at it.

When did he stop wearing his ring she wondered I thought I saw it yesterday. Did he take it off today? For this? Why? She began to dial back her wild flight of ideas. He wasn't married anymore; he didn't need to wear a ring. That was a normal thing to happen but still the timing… Was there some significance to that?

“That sounds nice,” he smiled faintly but it faded quickly. “Ugh,” he grunted in sudden recollection.

“What?”

“I just remembered that I need to clean out the guidance counselor's office at the school," he sighed, propping up his chin on his hoof.

“Seriously? Right now? Why?

“Because I just found out that Twilight is finally going to be seriously looking for a full-time replacement now. There's not a ton of stuff in there but I'm so not looking forward to it. I don't know. I've been holding it together looking through her trunk but cleaning out Trixie's office somehow feels like it'll be even more emotional for me. Looking back is easier than looking forward right now. Time marches on. Ponies get forgotten. I think we all fear entropy.”

“I could do it,” suggested Starlight without much thought.

Sunburst frowned. “No, I don't want to make you do it; it's not your job and I really should be there to go through it.”

“It's fine. I'm staying in your house and eating your food for free and it would be good for me to have a project while you're at work and Hat’s at school. I'll just put everything in boxes, store it somewhere and when you're ready you can go through it at your own pace.”

He cocked an eyebrow at her. “Are you sure you want to go back to the School of Friendship right now? It would be like walking into a lion's den of familiar faces.”

Well now that he brought it up, no, she didn't want to go back right now. It sounded like a potential nightmare. She just suggested it automatically because she wanted to be helpful and the task seemed simple enough. But on the other hoof she wouldn't know any of the students anymore and probably only half of the staff. It was just one room. She didn't have to go out roaming the hallways or anything. It was really only as hazardous as she wanted to make it.

“It'll be fine,” she concluded dismissively. “I'll just be hanging out in my old office for a couple of hours. I probably won't even see anyone.”

Sunburst nodded. “Okay, thank you. That's really helpful. And you know some of the stuff in there might actually be yours now that I think about it.”

“I'll do it tomorrow.”

The two of them ate their meal and went dutch on the bill even as Starlight's funds were beginning to dwindle. She would need to make a trip to Canterlot to make a withdrawal soon.

They stepped out into the street with plenty of childless leisure time left in their day.

“Where should we go now?” mused Sunburst.

Starlight looked down the row of quaint boutiques and small businesses. “I wouldn't mind walking around downtown for a while to see what else has changed.”

The two of them spent the rest of their time walking, talking and looking in store windows. In the end Starlight felt that she had had the moment she deserved with Sunburst when he first came to Ponyville almost a decade ago but what exactly did it mean now? If she squinted at it just for a moment it was almost like those lost years had never happened and things were just how they were supposed to be.

“Oh, we have to go pick up Hat in the square," said Sunburst, looking at his watch.

Starlight exhaled anxiously at the thought of accompanying him. She didn't need to be a tagalong in every moment with his son. It would probably be better if she stayed out of Hat’s way when she could.

“Uh… why don't you go ahead and do that,” she suggested. “I'll catch up with you back at the house.”

Sunburst looked disappointed but thankfully didn't press the issue. “Oh, I forgot other parents will be there too,” he groaned. “It might be weird.”

Starlight had happily made it through their entire outing without being accosted by an old acquaintance and the thought of being seen with Sunburst in a parental moment amongst other parents hadn't crossed her mind but it was a convenient out.

They shared an awkward moment where it seemed like some sort of physical gesture of affection should be instead.

“Well, that was really fun,” concluded Starlight with a tentative smile. “See you later.” She vanished with a burst of magic.

Hat Trick had a reserved expression when he got off of the wagon with his friends but told his dad that he was glad he went to the party which was an overall improvement in his emotional outlook. At home the colt wanted to finish going through the trunk but there wasn't enough time to do all of it before dinner and getting ready for bed. Sunburst still had school work he needed to finish before tomorrow after putting it off to the last minute.

Starlight read by the crackling fire as Sunburst laid down next to Hat Trick to put him to bed. If he didn't fall asleep soon, he'd have to cut out early to finish his work and maybe let him fall asleep on the floor or the couch as they had been doing.

“When is Starlight going to leave?” whispered Hat with his eyes closed.

“She says she's leaving Friday,” breathed Sunburst.

“Is she going to come back again?”

“Do you want her to come back?”

Hat said nothing.

Sunburst anguished in the silence between them as he struggled to find a way to address the sensitive issue that had come between them. “You don't like her very much, do you?”

“No.”

His blunt reply felt like a kick in the chest.

“Why?” he asked. “Isn't she nice to you?”

Hat Trick was quiet for a long time trying to formulate a reason. He couldn't really explain how he felt to his dad; could he even explain it to himself? Originally he hadn't wanted a stranger staying in the house but that wasn't it anymore. It was something else now. She hadn't done anything bad to him. She didn't seem shady or suspicious anymore. She was just somewhere where she wasn't supposed to be and he hated it.

At a loss for an explanation, he fell back on his initial reaction. “She's nice I guess but I don't want anyone here.”

“Are you sure that's it?” asked his dad skeptically.

“Yeah…”