Chapters “And when I destroy this scroll, there'll be no way for you to change it!”
Spike stared across the gap in the clouds at his backpack, at the scroll as Starlight Glimmer levitated it aloft. The scroll! She had the scroll! As Twilight's number one assistant, Spike prided himself on keeping track of all the little things Twilight was likely to forget, and that included, through every single loop, keeping track of the scroll. Starlight was right, they were powerless without the scroll, and now she had it!
The sound of Twilight's desperate pleas went muffled in Spike's ears as his focus narrowed to just this one thing, this most important thing. He had to get the scroll. He just needed to wait for his moment, wait for it, waaaait for it…
There!
Starlight Glimmer glanced away, deaf to Twilight's reason, she loosed a bolt of magic at the oncoming Rainbow Dash. In that instant, Spike made his move. He leapt free into open air, snatched the scroll, and plummeted. He almost chuckled to himself watching Twilight dart through the air towards him with a cry. For a pony who loved lists, Spike always felt she could learn something about priorities. She didn't even make it in time before both their trajectories changed and they shot upwards through a portal once more.
And once more they were unceremoniously spilled out into the dirt and dust of another ruined world. Spike moaned and held his head, eyes shut tight as he waited for his vision to stop warping. When he finally felt like the whole of the earth wasn't actually rocking like a boat in an ocean storm, he wrenched his eyes open.
The first thing he noticed was that the sky was pitch black. It contained none of the deep and complex navies and blues of nighttime. This was moonless, starless, pure black, dark as the void. The second thing Spike noticed was that in spite of all that, he could see just fine. That was strange, but then each of these worlds had been stranger than the last, and Spike couldn't begin to guess what had caused this latest cataclysm.
None of it really mattered, he decided after a minute, they were just passing through.
Finally his ears attuned themselves to a quiet susurration spinning itself around him, which he quickly identified as Twilight. She had the scroll pinned flat against the Map with her hooves and she was murmuring furiously over top of it. Occasionally, her horn would spark and zap the scroll, working it over with small magics.
“Fine, fine, she wants to play it like that? Well now we know where we're going. She's not the only pony who can modify a spell…”
Spike climbed atop the map and inspected Twilight's handiwork. He noticed a thin brown scar near the center- Twilight had been quick to repair the damage Starlight had done, at least, though he was certain the scroll would have been long gone if the villain lacked a penchant for drama.
“Uh, Twilight, shouldn't we be, y'know, getting back? This place kinda gives me the creeps.”
“We're not going back, Spike. At least not there, that's where she wants us, she has the upper hoof there, and I'm not just going to keep trying and hoping something changes. If she doesn't want my friendship, I'll give her the friend she really wanted.”
Spike looked concerned, the manic edge to Twilight's voice was usually a bad mix with magic. “Twilight, what do you mean? We need to stop her from screwing up the race!”
“We don't need to stop her at the race if she never goes back in the first place, Spike. If she doesn't lose her friend, she never makes her village, so she never comes looking for revenge. We're going to beat her at her own game.” Her mouth split into an unhinged grin as her horn sparked some more changes onto the scroll.
“Twilight,” He used her name like a warning, “Aren’t you worried that's a little… paradoxical? This type of thing happens a lot in my comics and it, well, usually ruins the world. And the comic.”
“Spike, this isn't one of your comic books, this is real magic , okay, and only one of us is an expert on that ,” She snapped back, and Spike quickly subsided. There was no arguing with her when she was like this, so Spike took stock of the priorities. With his bag gone, he'd be stuck hauling the scroll around by claw, but at least that meant it'd be harder for Starlight to nab again. Food and drink were the next priority, so he was surprised to take stock of his body and realize he wasn't feeling the need. Whether it was adrenaline or magical nonsense that had kept him feeling full and hydrated he couldn't guess, but at least that meant he didn't have to worry right now.
He distracted himself just watching the barren world around them. It was grey and dusty like a number of the worlds they’d already left behind, no real sign of life anywhere. The dilapidated ruins of Ponyville were barely a blip in the landscape, so the crumbling ruins of Canterlot high up in the mountain were the only landmark of note. Half the city looked like it had slid off the sheer cliff face. Really, it probably had, whatever magic or feat of architecture (really the same thing to Spike) that supported it having long since faded or fallen to pieces. And above it all, that endless abyss of black, black that seemed to call to him, whispering his name, pleading for–
“Ha!” Came a triumphant cry from Twilight beside him, “It's ready!”
Never before had Spike been so thrilled about a pony attempting such reckless magic. At this point, he wanted to be as far away from here as it was possible to get. “Fine, work your magic and let's get out of here, this place is really creeping me out now.”
Twilight nodded and lit her horn, the scroll floating up above the map. A beam shot from her horn to the scroll, and bounced into the Map. Sparks began to fly and a wind seemed to come from nowhere as the alicorn poured more and more magic into the spell. Twilight's eyes began to glow as she put the whole of her being into the complex work. With a flash, the beam from her horn broke loose and faded, and Twilight slumped against the Map.
Both scroll and Map were wreathed in her pink aura, and there was a moment Spike could only interpret as… Hesitation? Resistance? Though lacking magic himself, he was no stranger to being around spells, and this spell seemed to take just a breath longer than it should have. A thought came unbidden, as if thought by somebody else entirely, that the Map seemed confused, like it hadn't expected this turn of events.
Spike wasn't sure where that thought came from. Could a magical map even expect something at all? Maybe in the comics they could.
That was the last rational thought the dragon could manage as the spell snapped into completion like a hasty decision, a fit of impulse. A portal sprung open, tinged pink and whirling violently, and Twilight and Spike fell up, and fell in.
Starlight Glimmer stared helplessly from the doorway as her friend was carried off in a cacophony of cheers and claps and joyous stomps. Tears pricked the corners of her eyes, her mind a whirl of confusion. One hoof took a hesitant step back inside, back towards the door. Before she could make another one, the feeling in the air changed. Suddenly there was a presence beside her. A pony. A pegasus? No, an alicorn, an alicorn she had never seen or even heard of before, lavender and resplendent and smiling cheerfully.
“He's your friend, isn't he? Don't you think you should go after him?”
The memory faded into soft, hazy whiteness.
From the moment Spike awoke, he began a mental list of good and bad. A small part of him cursed Twilight's habit rubbing off on him, but she wasn't always wrong. It helped to have a useful list.
Good: Reality wasn't torn apart by a time paradox. Bad: They were not safely back in the castle. Good: He still had the scroll! Bad: He wasn't sure how much use it would be anymore. It looked tattered and worn, dry in a magical way, emptied.
Good: Sunlight filtered in through the windows and gaps in dilapidated wood and stone. Bad: They were in some sort of dilapidated lecture hall of a school he was certain he'd never seen before. Mixed?: The center of the hall bore an all-too-familiar six pointed star emblem.
It was a respectable list he'd managed to assemble by the time Twilight, still slumped against the Map, awoke with a groan. She seemed much worse for wear than him, given the extent to which she had tapped her magical reserves. Even for an alicorn, that was heavy duty stuff. Regardless, good: He still had Twilight with him.
Bad: Almost like an afterthought, another portal sprang open above the map. Another pony dropped through in a blur, and the portal quickly snapped shut. As the pony found her way to her hooves, Spike found himself staring face to face with none other than Starlight Glimmer.
Starlight's head was a mess. It felt like somepony had crawled inside, opened every drawer she had in there, and dumped their collective contents out into the middle of the floor. Then, for good measure, that same pony had dumped their own brain-drawers into the pile too! Half the clutter stalling her conscious thought didn't even seem to belong to her, and yet here it was in her brain.
She forced herself to her hooves, wobbling the whole way, and suddenly she was staring into the eyes of a purple-and-green dragon. Her brain’s reaction to this stimulus could only be described as trying to tear itself in half.
Half of her mind held all the feelings she would expect from seeing the purple little pest. Anger and bitter hatred for Twilight Sparkle, feelings she was more than happy to extend to the precious little hatchling that had earned her her mark in the first place. She was nearly incandescent thinking about how the little brat had ruined her coup de grace, leaping in at the one moment she was distracted. She should turn him into a red smear just for the audacity of it all!
Her horn lit, sparking as she drew every mote of magic she could into it, bearing down on the pathetic beast as he trembled on the spot. The spell formed in her mind, shaping magic into motive force, enough to make a mist out of the dragon. She looked into his eyes as they filled up with fear, and she hesitated. Something in the other half of her mind had tripped her, some buried admiration for him, for some reason she didn't know. The hesitation was all it took, the magics from her horn sputtered out and diffused, and she was racked with uncharacteristic nausea, overwhelming exhaustion, the kind you only got when you pushed your magic just a bit too far. It didn't make sense why the simple drawing of energy had winded her so thoroughly.
She could feel sickening love and admiration for the creature as she stared, vying for dominance against the emotions she expected, the ones she knew were real. These new feelings didn't belong to her.
She took a few nervous steps back, finally looking wildly around her. It was only a small relief that no part of her seemed to recognize the room she was in, but that other half of her, the wrong half, whispered that she ought to know what it was anyways. “What did you do to me…” She whispered to Spike. The little dragon stammered and took a few steps backwards, landing on his rear. Starlight didn't even notice, her eyes had finally found Twilight Sparkle.
If looking at Spike was bad, looking at Twilight Sparkle was thousands of times worse. The halved mind went to war with itself, emotions from across the entire spectrum of pony feeling pitching lances of raw chemical through her nervous system. She saw her nemesis. She saw her hero. She felt righteous indignation and boundless worship. This was the mare who had ruined her life. This was the mare who had saved her life.
Starlight surged forwards towards the map, slamming her front hooves atop it and screaming, “What did you do to me, Twilight Sparkle!?”
The alicorn blinked free of her exhausted stupor, finally noticing Starlight was even there at all. From the way her face fell, Starlight could guess that whatever the mare’s ridiculous plan was, it had failed. That still didn't explain why she was here, now, or how Twilight had broken the loop.
“I tried to put things right, Starlight,” Twilight offered cryptically. Her downcast face was starting to pull other emotions from Starlight, wrong and traitorous emotions of pity and the desire to comfort her. Starlight couldn't stand it, so she scoffed and turned away, gripping the embers of her rage like a life preserver. She sat hard in one of the chair-desks that ringed the hall, coughing and sputtering in the cloud of dust she stirred, and she did her best to diagnose what exactly was going on inside her thoughts.
Meanwhile, Twilight Sparkle and Spike chattered away with little regard for her presence.
“So it didn't work…?”
“Spike, if it worked, we'd be at home, and not… Wherever this is. Where are we, anyways?”
“I don't know, but look.”
A beat of silence.
“But… What? What's my cutie mark doing there? And this looks like some sort of school? We need to figure out where we are, and when.”
“Sure, but… What about her?”
Starlight glanced up. Spike and Twilight both stared at her. She dropped her gaze back to the desk. She had only just dredged some semblance of stability out of the depths of her mind, and just looking at the pair threatened to send her into turmoil once again.
She had achieved a sense of understanding, and it turned out the drawer analogy wasn't so far off. Her mind was full of drawers. Those drawers she was familiar with, the ones that belong to her, her feelings and memories, those drawers lay open. The ones that were closed seemed to contain some other pony, a pony that certainly felt she was Starlight Glimmer, but who was so far removed from who she, the real Starlight, was, that there was no world where they could be her. Somepony hadn't just gone and made a mess inside her head, that pony had all but moved in! Worse yet, no matter how hard she tried, once a drawer had found its way open, she couldn't force it back closed.
Starlight Glimmer found she was quite genuinely of two minds.
“Starlight, are you okay?” Twilight asked hesitantly, her voice thick with more concern than Starlight had ever merited in her life.
“Of course I'm not okay!” She snapped back, holding onto venom and spite as her only path to sanity, “You- you injected me with some kind of mind magic! You think a few fuzzy happy thoughts about you is enough to make me regret what I've done? After you ruined my life!?” Her hooves thumped on the desk, and it replied with a loud crack. The whole thing broke loose and Starlight tumbled forward to the floor. Laying there, staring up at the ceiling, she let out a wordless shriek of rage and slammed all four hooves into the floor. Tantruming like a foal. At least both halves of her mind agreed on this– it was an embarrassing thing to do in front of Princess Twilight Sparkle.
“Starlight…” Twilight's face appeared, hovering over where Starlight lay sprawled, “I didn't do any ‘mind magic.’ I just… Went into the past myself and made sure you never lost your friend.” The alicorn gave a sheepish smile, as if it was a silly little slip-up.
That was the information she needed. Everything clicked into place. She wasn't suddenly two ponies in one mind, she was herself, twice! A self that couldn't be more different from the pony she knew in her heart was the real her, but a version of her nevertheless. It explained everything, and at the very center of it all she could pinpoint the exact memory where her mind had disagreed with herself.
She was alone in her home, friendless and crying. She was sprinting down the street to catch up to her only friend. Only one could be the real her, but she knew with certainty that she had lived through both. She couldn't give an inch to Twilight Sparkle however, who knew how far the alicorn would try to take it. All the way to friendship and redemption, most likely.
“Well, looks like that worked out great for you. Is that how you handle things? The dastardly villain ignores your desperate pleas for friendship, so you go and tweak them with magic until it's all better?”
Starlight loathed how guilty Twilight looked at that. Worse, she hated how that guilt seemed to stab at her own heart. What kind of soft, pathetic, doe-eyed excuse for a mare had Twilight turned her into?
“Whatever went wrong here, Starlight, we'll fix it. Nothing about this place seems right.” Twilight offered a hoof to help Starlight up. She pointedly ignored it, rising on her own wobbling hooves.
“Who’s ‘we?’” She spat back.
“You and us,” Spike piped up, “Unless you wanna stay who-knows-where and who-knows-when for who-knows-how-long it'll take for us to fix this?”
She gave him a glare, then looked back to Twilight, “Why do we need to go anywhere? The map is here, the scroll is here, just cast the spell again.”
Twilight quirked an eyebrow at her, “Starlight, don't you feel it too? This place has hardly any magic. Just levitating the scroll back onto the table left me winded, there's no way I could cast that spell again on my own. We need to know a lot more about what's going on before we can even start to get back to our time. I only know one type of magic that will work even at a time like this.” She turned towards the stairs and began a casual trot towards them, Spike hopping astride her with the scroll clutched close as she passed by. Starlight stood stock still, watching the princess ascend each step, when suddenly she stopped midway and turned back. “Well? Are you coming?”
Starlight sputtered, glared, stomped her hooves a few times, and finally shouted, “Fine!” as she began her own ascent.
Atop the stairs and out the door was a long hallway, one half lined with similar dusty and dilapidated doors, the other lined with broad windows. Some were hazy with dust and age, others shattered or missing entire panes. The view was if not spotless, then at least good enough for the group to get their bearings. Starlight peeked out and her eyes widened as she took it all in.
Ponyville at least looked like it could still in fact be a -ville. Some homes had collapsed, others wore clear signs of deterioration, but all things considered, the town still stood, and carried with it some small signs of life. Flashes of movement and color as some ponies seemed to go about their days. Twilight's castle stood like a beacon in the center, shining, somehow looking more real than its immediate surroundings.
“Spike, if the castle is over there, why did we end up over here?”
“To make sure you know you screwed up, obviously.”
The environment around Ponyville was dull, lacking lustre, but not entirely barren. Only one area could even begin to qualify as lush, the spot that Starlight recalled as Sweet Apple Acres, home of Applejack.
“Well it's not a wasteland. At least. Maybe Applejack will know what's going on…”
Twilight trailed off as her eyes finally registered the same thing that Starlight just had. Beyond Ponyville and into the wilds of the Everfree Forest, there was clearly something wrong. The sky! It was pure black, a slash of impossibility across the basic reality of a familiar sky.
“I've seen that before, Twi. Before you cast your spell, the last timeline looked a whole lot like that.”
“But how could that happen? The castle is there, we got our cutie marks, everything went right this time! We must have stopped Nightmare Moon, but then who…?”
A name leapt to Starlight's mind unbidden. The Pony of Shadows. She silently cursed this new open drawer, knowledge borne from her other half, but it wasn't all bad. This one didn't make her feel all mushy and starstruck, at least, and anything she knew that Twilight Sparkle didn't was a bargaining chip.
Finally, almost as one, they gasped. Scanning along the horizon, just a short distance from Ponyville, they found Canterlot. At first glance, it looked like the city had found a way to sink halfway inside the mountain. However, with closer inspection, Starlight realized the mountain itself was all wrong. It looked brown and papery, fringes peeling off like birch bark. It looked like a wasp’s nest for wasps far larger than anypony dared imagine, built around the whole city, only a spare few towers and buttresses breaking free.
“Changelings…” Twilight breathed, “Now we definitely need to talk to Applejack.”
Starlight just sat staring as hoofbeats tore off down the hall. She heard them slow, then stop, then turn.
“Alright, I'm coming.”
Not like she had anything better to do.
Author's Note
Thank you for reading the first chapter of my new fic. This is the longest thing I've ever written and I'm happy to have it mostly finished. It was a new experience to write an adventure rather than slice of life type stuff, so it has been a lot of fun trying to put it all together.
It will be 8 chapters in total, uploading once a week while I finish tightening up the editing. I hope you'll stick around!
Messing with Twilight Sparkle was the next best thing to taking revenge on Twilight Sparkle, Starlight Glimmer decided as the alicorn once again stopped in the distance and turned towards her. Starlight held her leisurely pace as the trio trotted towards Sweet Apple Acres, seeing no reason to rush even as Twilight kept speeding ahead and then stopping to wait for her. At this point, Starlight was doing it on purpose, having found just the right pace to drive the impatient pony crazy. The closer they got, the more she could tell Twilight longed to gallop ahead to her friend. Starlight was smugly satisfied to delay her, knowing the princess was of no mind to leave her alone.
Finally, they could spot the telltale arch and gates that represented the start of Sweet Apple Acres; the barn and farmhouse stood not too far behind. This was permission for Twilight Sparkle to break out into a full sprint, leaping the gate with a clean jump and yelling out, “Applejack! Applejack, are you here!?”
Starlight was at the gate by the time the farmhouse door popped open and an orange muzzle poked out. The door opened the rest of the way when she saw who it was, but the farmpony didn't leave the doorway. Starlight settled herself by the fence to wait and eavesdrop. She wasn't sure how Applejack might react to seeing her, and she refused to touch any of the memories that might give her a hint.
As for her seeing Applejack, however, a number of the drawers in her mind were flung open. Applejack! The element of honesty! The absolute pinnacle of pony strength, both physical and emotional. The paths in her brain gushed with excitement and incredulity. The Applejack, in the flesh, what a world! Starlight had to force the giddy grin off of her face.
“Now I don't know what you var–” Applejack started, then sucked in a sudden breath and went again, “Now I don't know what you friends are out here for, but I don't appreciate the act. Y'all know I've made every quota you've set, and the next one ain't for a week at least.” Her face was a firm scowl, eyes never leaving Twilight as she made her way to the foot of the porch.
“Applejack, it's me! Don't you recognize me? The castle is there, so I thought–”
“Course I recognize Twilight! I just don't recognize you ,” she stuck a hoof at Twilight, “And I don't appreciate it. If you got something to say, drop the act and we'll talk as ponies, er, and changelings ought to. And if this is what y'all consider a prank, I'll politely ask you to leave my property.”
Starlight couldn't see her face, but Twilight's whole posture was crestfallen. “I’m not a changeling,” she pleaded, “Can't you tell me what's going on here? I thought we stopped Chrysalis at the wedding, I don't know how… All of this …” She flung her hooves wide, indicating everything around them and nothing in particular.
Applejack's eyes narrowed, “This is gettin’ strange, even for your kind. Y'all know we stopped Chrysalis at the wedding, how could you not? But then y'all came back.”
“They came back? But that never…” Twilight seemed to be at a loss for words.
“Came back and nabbed the princesses. All the princesses,” Applejack emphasized with a pointed look, “Now if all you're after is a history lesson, I suggest you check a library, if y'all even got those up in that hive of yours. Good day.” The earth pony slid back inside and started to shut the door. In an instant so quick that Spike fell from her back and landed in the dirt, Twilight shot forward and wedged her hoof in the door.
“Please, Applejack, this isn't some changeling prank, I don't know how to prove it's really me!” Her voice had a desperate edge as she stared up at Applejack from the wood floor of the porch, “You can tell something is strange about this! You know it's odd that Starlight Glimmer is back there, that a changeling out for a laugh wouldn't do it like this! Give me a chance, please. Please.” Starlight would swear the alicorn was one word away from bubbling over into tears. It was pathetic. Her heart twinged with pity.
“I don't know who a Starlight Glimmer is, or who that pony back there might be, but you're right these social calls are usually a bit more personal…” The door slid back open a fraction as Applejack considered the situation. Her focus back on Twilight, neither pony noticed Starlight charging forward, scowling. Spike noticed when her hoof sent him out of her way and tumbling through the dirt once again.
“Don't know who I am, huh!?” Starlight shouted, skidding to a halt in front of the porch, “Don't recognize the mare who stole your cutie mark!? Don't recognize the pony whose life you ruined !?”
The door drifted wider as Applejack just stared. She gave the unicorn a look-over, eyes scanning up and down. After a few long moments, Starlight filling the silence with heavy pants of anger and breathlessness, the farmpony shrugged, “Ma’am, I ain't never seen hide nor hair of you in my whole life, and I ain't the element of honesty for nothin’.” She glanced back down at Twilight, “Y'all might as well come inside.”
Never seen her before? Well what the hay did that mean! Having your cutie mark stolen is certain to leave an impression, except–
Except Twilight haddone it. She had changed Starlight's history. A hoof-ful of treacherous memories was one thing, but this was rock solid proof. Applejack had no idea who she was, because she had never stolen Applejack's cutie mark, because she had never made her village, because she had never lost her first and only friend. In this Equestria, she was good?
No, wrong, she berated herself. This new Starlight wasn't good, because the old Starlight, the real Starlight, wasn't evil. She was justified! Righteous! So what if changing the past could fix her when- Tartarus take it- she was not broken. And even if it was true, which it wasn't, Twilight had no right to go and mess with it.
Some sing-song, do-gooder voice deep inside her thought that was a bit ironic.
Spike sidled around her, breaking her from her thoughts as he mean-mugged her the whole way. He disappeared through the doorway where Twilight had stopped, watching Starlight closely. She shot the alicorn a glare as she stomped up the steps and followed her inside. Fine. It was all fine. If they didn't remember her, then she would just help Twilight fix things. Make them remember her, and then she'd give them something really worth remembering.
The trio settled into seats around the kitchen table while Applejack fixed them glasses of water. The farmpony apologized for the lack of hospitality, explaining that ‘the luxuries’ had dried up moons ago. Starlight took advantage of the opportunity to observe the room.
It was spare in all the ways ponies would expect a farmhouse to be. Not barren, but utilitarian, with few concessions to sentiment. Some pictures hung from the wall, but turned inwards, while others sat face-down on shelves. The only food to be seen was hardy and imperishable, the sort of food ponies ate when the need for sustenance won over any regard for taste. Many surfaces looked unused and untouched for moons, and there were no signs of life but the ones Applejack created. It was a big house to live alone in, she thought distantly.
She watched the tension settle into the room as Applejack finally took her own seat at the table.
“So ya talked me inside, but y'all still can't honestly expect me to believe this charade, right? You get credit for originality, but we all saw the way Chrysalis had her, same way she had Shining Armor at the wedding,” Her eyes narrowed at them around a quick sip of water and a clearing of her throat, “I hate to say it, but Twilight ain’t about to come prancing down the lane asking for my help, not unless her new Queen ordered her to.”
“Oh no, she's got me under her control? The other princesses too?”
Applejack nodded sullenly, “She still needs somepony to raise the sun and moon. So she's got you, so you can't be you you, so who the hay are you?”
Starlight listened idly to Twilight trying to navigate the geography of this new timeline. Her eyes met Spike’s across the table and she rolled her eyes, letting her mouth twitch up into a knowing smirk. He only glared back, and her expression soon fell back to a scowl. Somecreature was nursing a grudge, apparently.
“I am Twilight, I promise! I Pinkie Promise, cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye. I'm just not your Twilight,” Twilight looked a bit hunted as she tried to gather up her thoughts, “This is all going to sound much too ridiculous for an elaborate changeling prank, and that's why you need to believe it.”
So Twilight launched into a long and winding explanation of the events that brought her here, from her first encounter with Starlight in Our Town, to Starlight's time spell, and finally to her own version of it. All the while, Applejack's face was impassive, only nodding or grunting to show she was paying attention.
At the end, the farmpony’s gaze drifted over to Starlight, who was caught mid-sip with the cup clenched unsteadily between two hooves- magic was too much work right now. “Well clearly something worked or ya wouldn't be here, so why's nothin’ changed with her? She's certainly lookin’ pretty villainous.”
Twilight shook her head, “I have no idea, she came out of the portal minutes after us. Maybe her own version of the spell interfered with mine. She's the only one who would know.”
Both pairs of eyes were on her now. Villain Starlight- yes, let them call her a villain, she knew who was truly right- could have weathered the storm, but her other half began to crack under the combined stares of the Princess of Friendship and her Element of Honesty. What had they ever done to merit such worship from her other half?
The thought provoked more memories, unbidden. Twilight Sparkle stopping Nightmare Moon and saving Princess Luna. Twilight Sparkle putting a stop to Discord's reign of chaos. Twilight Sparkle repelling the first changeling invasion, redeeming Discord, stopping Lord Tirek before he could drain all the magic in Equestria. Her other half replied: what hadn't Twilight Sparkle done?
They weren't real memories, neither Starlight had ever been present for any of those events. These were simple tales repeated as dogma. Starlight scoffed, and then noticed the scoff made those eyes on her look just a fraction meaner. The combined assault was too great, she relented.
“Alright, fine. I was trying to sort it out myself, but fine. It seems like I've maybe picked up a few stray memories from my other self.” That was enough, no more than that. Just memories. Certainly no feelings and definitely no moral prerogatives. Just memories.
“Well what do you remember?” Twilight prompted.
Starlight didn't have an answer for that, and before her brain could catch her mouth, she'd already dumbly stated, “Uh, everything.”
“Everything!?”
She turned away and crossed her hooves to her chest, defensive, “If I wanted to. Which I don't.”
“You could've told us everything we needed to know about this place from the start, and you didn't?” Twilight was incredulous, halfway to standing.
“If I wanted to, I said. It's like picking up a rock to see what's underneath, I don't just know, I need to check. And I don't want to, because despite your best efforts I quite like my mind and I don't need some other pony’s memories cluttering it up!”
“Starlight Glimmer, you're lucky Twilight's givin’ you the benefit of the doubt, or else I'd be bucking you clean out that door right about now.”
“Oh, well at least she's honest with her threats too!”
The room devolved into bickering, Spike being left unnoticed by any of the three. “Hey,” he tried to interject, “Hey!” None of them so much as glanced his way. Fed up, he stomped a foot into the seat of his chair and burped out a long gout of green flame directly between the trio. Expending his magic like that left him looking woozy and unsteady, but he rallied, “Look, she's here because she agreed to help. She's either gonna help on her terms, or not at all, so leave her be, would you?”
Applejack and Twilight simply gaped at the sudden assertiveness from the little dragon. Starlight caught his eye and nodded. Respectfully. She didn't risk any more than that. He nodded back.
Twilight cleared her throat to break the silence, “You make a good point, Spike. We're sorry, Starlight, and we appreciate your help. You've got a lot of good reasons to let me fix my own mess.”
“Yeah yeah, don't remind me of any of them or I might start to see the appeal.” She rolled her eyes and relaxed back into her seat. Technically, she hadn't so much agreed to help as come along for lack of a better option. Still, she let it slide. The argument had busted open a few more of her drawers. Right now she was battling with the pure incredulity that she could talk to the Princess of Friendship that way!
“Twi, it sounded like she started this mess in the first place.”
“So you believe me? Cause I really need you to explain some things to me.”
Starlight was hardly listening enough to object to Applejack. She was too busy trying to recollect the pieces of her mind. She had long prided herself on her surety of purpose, her quick thinking and certainty of what must be done. Twilight had taken that from her! She couldn’t even trust her own mind now. Her silver lining was in thinking how she could make Twilight feel even worse with this information. Maybe the mare deserved to feel some guilt!
“Start with the changelings, Applejack. We stopped them at the wedding, but then what?”
“They hit everywhere at once, Twi, we didn’t stand a chance. They nabbed all six of us in a blink, and that was that. They only let us go cause we’re not worth much without you. Hay, the only reason there’s any ponies left at all is cause they realized we still gotta eat if they still wanna eat.”
Twilight put a hoof to her mouth, “So the quotas you mentioned…”
“Yup, I’m keeping ponies fed, even the ones they’re, uh, holdin’ onto.”
Starlight wasn’t impressed, “Gee Twilight, your friends sure are loyal to the bitter end.”
Applejack shot her a nasty look but didn’t grace her with a reply, “I lost track of the girls after that. Don’t exactly get a lot of free time off the farm, given the state of things. All I can tell you for certain is that Fluttershy was in the Everfree when things got bad out there.”
“I was meaning to ask about that, too. That doesn’t look like Nightmare Moon’s work, but what else could it be?”
Applejack shook her head, “Beats me, Twi, nopony ‘round here knows much ‘cept that it’s some nasty work out there. Didn’t think it was possible for the Everfree to get worse than it was, but here we are. Not many ponies goin’ in and fewer comin’ out, and the ones that do have all sorts of tales about beasties even stranger and deadlier than the ones in there already.”
Twilight looked down, but certainly not out. There was grim resolve on her face. “Well, if that’s where Fluttershy is, I guess we’re just going to have to find out for ourselves.”
Starlight wanted to say something. She was technically supposed to be helping, and this was something she could help with, and wouldn't Princess Twilight be so impressed and– And she didn't need validation from Twilight Sparkle of all ponies! But maybe earning some points in her favor was a strategically sound tactic.
“The Pony of Shadows.”
Both mares looked her way and she felt her skin begin to crawl again.
“If your idea of helpin’ is insulting us and making jokes about old mares tales, I might question Twilight’s judgement on this one.”
Starlight shook her head, exasperated. So that's how it was gonna be. Sure, she'd insulted them, but she'd hardly lied. Much. Maybe just conveniently withheld some truths, but that wasn't the same at all. Twilight still looked interested though.
“Starlight, we'll need a bit more than that. Applejack isn't wrong, I've only heard of the Pony of Shadows as a silly story to scare foals on Nightmare Night.”
“We did a research project about it. At Celestia’s school,” She clarified, “We tracked down an old tome about it. The Pony of Shadows was an ancient hero who was corrupted by jealousy, so some other ancient heroes had to lay down their lives to seal him away. You know how it goes.” She looked sheepishly between the two mares. The joke hadn't landed. “Our best guess is that Star Swirl the Bearded was the one who sealed it away. That's why he disappeared.” She added miserably.
“And… Who is ‘we’ in this case, Starlight?” She hated the look on Twilight’s face. Too hopeful, too pleased with herself.
She couldn't bring herself to say his name. She didn't even want to think about him. “You know who it was.” She spat, and stood from the table. She wound her way through the room and out the door. She didn't go far, just settled onto the lip of the porch and stared out across the apple fields as the sun began to set.
The door opened again, and she braced for the clop of hooves, chasing her down for more answers. Instead came the soft click of claws on wood, Spike suddenly appearing beside her. Better than the alternative, she decided, he had sort of bailed her out back there.
“You doing alright?” He asked, so casually, so simply. It hit her like a ton of bricks. Was she doing alright? Twilight Sparkle was floundering in a mess of her own design, because she tried and failed to one-up Starlight's magnificent plan for revenge. That should be a cherry on top of an already wonderful time for Starlight. Instead, here she was at the epicenter, her mind no longer her own, her sense of control withering. It didn't even make sense! All this for one foalhood friend? What did any of it have to do with her! Twilight is the one who stops changeling invasions and saves the day from freshly awoken nightmares, it has nothing to do with her, so why was she even here? Why did she remember? What was the point of it all!
She didn't say any of that, of course. “What do you think?”
“I think I know what it looks like when a unicorn is trying not to panic,” he shot back, too smug by half, “I've got a looot of experience.”
Ridiculous. They were nothing alike. Starlight sat in silence, fuming at the implication. Spike… Just sat there. She had no clue what he was thinking, or why he'd even come out here. He wasn't prodding the way she suspected Twilight would, trying to worm a hint of friendship out of her.
Thinking about it more, she had no idea how he even felt about her. He wasn't at Our Town, and really he was just along for the ride when she cast Star Swirl’s spell. He'd hardly be neutral, Twilight would have told him everything that happened at Our Town, but something about the distance made the little dragon easier to handle.
“Thanks. I guess,” the words felt a bit sour on her tongue, but he hadn't done anything wrong, “For bailing me out.” An olive branch.
“I didn't want her to do it in the first place, I told her it always ends badly in the comics, but nooo, this is real magic, not comics, Spike! Look who's laughing now. None of us.” He kicked his feet, bouncing them against the wood siding of the porch stairs, “I guess we'd still just be stuck fighting you, though. Or stuck somewhere even worse.”
Starlight shot him a look, but he was just looking out into the distance. She was still trying to decide if it was a snipe worthy of retort when he suddenly continued, “I know you've got your own thing going on- and don't think nopony can tell that you're not telling us everything- but it doesn't seem like you've noticed that things are bad. Really really bad.”
She tilted her head, “Of course I've noticed. Sparkle’s got a real mess on her hooves.”
Spike flung his claws up and finally gave her a glare, “That's just it! You think this is just another step in your grand plan for revenge! I can't believe I'm saying this, but aren't you thinking about yourself at all?”
She leaned back from him, a little bit shocked. What sort of accusation was that? Of course she was thinking about herself, and how good it feels to watch Twilight Sparkle squirm and struggle and fail.
“I mean, if we're all stuck here for good, you're just as stuck. Whatever's going on with your head won't go away either.”
“You don't know that,” she snapped back, immediately regretting it, “... That there's anything going on.”
“The point is, you get your revenge on Twilight, and then what? You're still stuck here on this dead-end world like the rest of us.”
Starlight could only gawk at him as he stood and turned back towards the house. He stopped at the door, but didn't turn back. “If you ever wanna talk about anything, well, I can keep a secret.” He pushed his way through the door and disappeared inside.
So she was left alone, awhirl with confusion. Was he concerned for her? It couldn't be that straightforward. Maybe Twilight sent him out here to win her over, get her aboard the Friendship Express. No thank you! But… She had to admit he had a point. What was her endgame here? She had been so wrapped up in herself that she didn't even know what her actual goal was. Getting back to the proper timeline so she could have her revenge seemed obvious. Then she considered that her own plan for revenge didn't end much differently from this. Twilight had shown her the world she created, but in the moment it seemed so easy to just not care. Consequences were for some other Starlight.
Now she was that other Starlight, and the consequences turned out to be a raw deal. Regardless of what came after, it made more sense to be an active help, rather than drag her hooves. Hay, if she was convincing enough, Twilight might even let her guard down afterwards. Yeah, she could play along for now.
She could feel this world’s Starlight tittering away in her brain. Sure, Starlight, play along, pretend to be friends with the Princess of Friendship! Just don't catch any real feelings, huh? It's not like you weren't already half a breath from accepting her offer before you screwed it all up again.
It seemed unfair that teacher’s pet Starlight could lecture her with her own memories, but the thoughts just sprang into her mind. As much as it was easier to think of them as two separate halves, the truth was they were both her, simultaneously. It was getting harder to see where the line was.
She shook her head and snorted. Getting lost in thought wasn't going to fix anything. She hauled herself to her hooves and marched herself back inside.
“I'm sorry Twi… Got my kin… Just can't risk…”
“I get it, Applejack… Just glad you're still…”
Starlight could hardly hear the half-whispered conversation as she entered the kitchen. Both ponies went silent and sullen on seeing her. In front of her empty spot at the table was a bowl of plain, dry oats. Survival food, or peasant food, depending how you looked at it. The others quickly busied themselves with their own bowls as she rounded the table and took her seat.
“I've decided to help. More than I have been,” she announced to the room at large. A few beats of silence passed and nopony said anything, so she filled the gap, “Spike was right, though, it'll be on my terms, and my term is that I am not going to plumb the depths of my new memories to see what might be useful for you. If anything useful comes to mind, though, I'll… Try to remember to mention it.” That would have to be good enough for them.
She got a smile and a nod from Twilight, whose mouth was full of oats. She didn't look at Applejack. It didn't matter what she thought. Facing down her own bowlful of oats, it finally hit her that she was starving. The raw grains tasted like dirt, and didn't feel much different either once you'd chewed them enough. It didn't matter, she devoured the bowl, and even considered prying to see if there was a chance at seconds. Only her dignity kept her from asking.
“So,” Twilight began after she had finished her bowl, “Fluttershy. We know she was in the woods when the Pony of Shadows did… Whatever it did, and nopony has seen her since.”
“The odds aren't good, Twi.”
“I know, but you don't have any leads on Rarity or Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash is probably in the changeling hive. There aren't any good options.”
Starlight spoke up, “I thought she said Chrysalis let all your friends go?”
Twilight's smile was heart-achingly sad, “Dash wouldn't leave without me.”
Starlight wasn't sure what to say to that, so she bypassed it entirely, “And our plan is to just waltz into the evil woods and ask around for the pony that's afraid of her own shadow?”
“Might as well be,” Spike remarked, earning him a glare from Twilight. Starlight couldn't help but smirk. Maybe the little guy was sharper than he looked.
“We'll leave tomorrow at dawn. Applejack is staying here, to keep up appearances. She's close enough to the map we can come grab her when we're ready.” She sighed and looked at each of them in turn, “I know this is stupid and dangerous, but the only way we can get enough magic for the spell is through the Elements. And if we can't find them, well, let's just hope we can.”
Applejack led them up the stairs and they passed by several doors, knobs untouched and coated in dust, until they came to an open door at the end of the hall. It was the spare bedroom, and all three of them would have to find a way to share.
The bed was plenty big enough for the three of them, but Starlight would not entertain that line of thought for even a moment. Bad enough she kept threatening to bubble over about sharing a bedroom with a real Princess! She took up a spot on a surprisingly comfortable chair, and managed to contort herself into something that looked like laying down. When she looked up, she saw Twilight, eyes on her, hoof to her mouth to hold back giggles- which wasn't working.
“Sorry, sorry, I shouldn't-” Her voice cracked as another laugh broke through.
“Whatever. Laugh as much as you like, Twilight Sparkle, because the last one will be mine.” It was hard not to immediately blanch at making a not-so-subtle threat to royalty. She lowered her head back down, facing away.
“Just, are you sure that's comfortable? There's plenty of room on the-”
“I am not sharing a bed with you like this is some foal’s sleepover!” Not so friendly, maybe, but it was hard to subtly play along when half of her wanted to squeal and throw herself across the room and into the bed.
“... I was gonna say the couch downstairs.”
It stung her a bit when Spike laughed at that. She was just about to snap at him, but… She let it go. Just this once. Her softer side said maybe playing along starts here. After all, what does her scheme gain by yelling at him? She settled for a low warning growl. The pair laughed a little more at that, but mercifully left her alone.
“Do we have a plan for tomorrow? The Everfree had a nasty reputation even in our time, and it doesn't look like it's improved.”
“Weeeell,” Twilight clopped her hooves together awkwardly, “Not as such. There's a few landmarks I want to check up on, Zecora’s house, the Castle of the Two Sisters, of course the Tree of Harmony.”
“Great work, Twilight Sparkle. No information, no plan, no magic. We really are just going door-to-door in the deadliest forest in Equestria.”
“Don't worry, Starlight, Twi is halfway to a meltdown without a plan for this. She's putting on a brave face just for you.”
“Spike!” Twilight was frantic and flustered.
“She'd be tearing the place apart for a scroll and quill if she hadn't already looked.”
She didn't laugh. It took every ounce of her willpower to not laugh, but she didn't. And maybe it was okay that Spike looked real proud when her mouth cracked into a grin.
Twilight loosed a yawn, and Spike and Starlight followed suit. “Alright you two, bedtime,” the princess declared. She turned down the lamps, letting them flicker and fade, and Starlight heard the soft rustling of her settling into the sheets. She suddenly felt very cramped, but she was in too deep now.
After a lot of twisting and turning, she eventually settled into a position comfortable enough to sleep in, and she drifted off.
Author's Note
Thank you for reading chapter 2. With this, our scene is set. Next week, the ball starts rolling and it doesn't stop until it's over.
Happy Friday, enjoy your weekend!
Starlight awoke to sun streaming through the window, birds singing cheerfully outside, and every muscle in her body aching in impressively novel ways. It took a few moments for her to untangle herself from the rest of herself, and a few more moments for her to grunt her way up onto her numbed out hooves. She shook some sensation back into them and let out a still-sleepy yawn.
Twilight and Spike were still in bed, wrapped up together and gently snoring. Twilight said they'd leave at dawn but there were a lot of good reasons why she didn't want to deal with waking the princess herself. She would rise when she was ready. Instead, Starlight ambled her way out the door and down the stairs, back out onto the porch.
Starlight had to admit that Sweet Apple Acres was certainly a sight to behold in the morning light. In its own right, of course, but also in contrast to the dull and lifeless surrounds. Acres and acres of flourishing green trees, dotted with fat shining apples of red and green and gold. In the distant fields, her eyes could make out an orange speck of movement, working the trees row by row as Applejack made her way back towards the farmhouse. Starlight couldn't help but notice that some of the farthest flung trees seemed neglected. One pony working the job of four wasn't quite enough.
She wasn't sure how long she watched for, but it was apparently long enough for Twilight and Spike to wake up and begin their own preparations. She could hear vague shuffling and rustling inside the house, but she paid it no mind. She was too enthralled watching the farmpony's steady progress through the fields.
Eventually, Applejack arrived with a cartful of apples. Slung across her back was a small sack of presumably also apples. She took an apple from the cart and tossed it in Starlight's direction. On reflex, Starlight caught it in her magic and was immediately struck with a wave of nausea and exhaustion. Great start to the morning. The apple dropped into her hooves as she released it from her aura and she took a bite, one eye on Applejack. It was delicious.
“Starlight Glimmer, if Twilight is trustin’ you, then I'm trustin' you, but make no mistake,” Applejack’s tone was low and warning, “If Twilight doesn't come back outta those woods, you might just consider gettin' lost in ‘em too.”
She didn't reply, just kept her eye on Applejack as she climbed the steps and rather unnecessarily pushed past Starlight to get to the door. She disappeared inside, and Starlight was happy to be alone again. She chomped through the rest of her apple, relieved nopony was there to see her make a mess of it– how did earth ponies and pegasi manage to eat everything with their hooves?
Eventually she heard the door click open behind her, and out strode Twilight, a bag saddled and strapped over top of her, rattling off a list Starlight had to assume were its contents, “... Water, food, rope, a firestarter and some blankets, a tarp just in case… It'll have to be good enough, Applejack, nothing more would fit anyways.” Spike was mounted atop Twilight, and Applejack followed them both out a moment later.
Starlight hurriedly ran her hooves over her muzzle hoping to hide any trace of the apple juice that had splashed down it, and then got to standing. It seemed it was finally showtime.
“Now I won't tell ya to be careful, Twi, what you're doing is anything but, so I'll just tell you to do your best. Just wish I could go with you.”
Twilight shook her head and pulled her friend into a brief hug, “You have your job, we've got ours. We'll be back soon, I promise.” They broke apart and Applejack nodded firmly.
“Spike, you keep her safe now. I know you always do.” Spike replied with a salute.
Finally, Applejack turned to Starlight. Their eyes locked for what felt like an eternity. Neither pony spoke. Applejack looked away first, eyes back to Twilight, and she finally said, “Good luck to all y'all. You best be off.”
Well that was fine. Starlight didn't need some pep talk or a dramatic goodbye like some ponies. She could look out for herself perfectly well. Still, it gnawed at her the way the farmpony insisted on treating her like a villain even when she was actually trying to help. Maybe it was because she insisted she was a villain.
The trio set out from the gates of Sweet Apple Acres and onto the long road towards the Everfree. Applejack’s farm was well clear of the ancient forest, and for good reason, nopony wanted Everfree animals confusing her fields for a new home. As such, they had a while to walk before there was even a chance of danger.
While Twilight and Spike chatted, Starlight fell a bit behind, using the time to take stock of her frazzled mind. On the one hoof, she was feeling surprisingly alright today. Sleep seemed to have sorted out a large portion of the chaos that had made her so frantic the day before. The floors of her mindscape had been cleared and swept, the files sorted away into appropriate homes. On the other hoof, her sleeping mind treated both her, the real and proper Starlight, and her double as one and the same, equals in their claim to her brain.
The line had gotten blurrier. It was taking longer to decide which reactions were really hers, and she was just a little bit less certain she was choosing correctly. It galled her. Both Starlights could agree neither wanted the other in their head. At least the feeling was mutual.
She quickened her pace and caught back up with Twilight and Spike. She noticed they had reached a lull in their own conversation, so she interjected herself, “So I can't stop wondering about it, did you figure out what was up with the school? Taking after your mentor, Twilight?”
Twilight glanced her way, then back in front, constantly scanning the path ahead, “Apparently that's just what I decided to do after the castle appeared. Applejack had never heard of the Map, I guess without you, it just never appeared in this timeline.” She looked like she had some kind of realization, and she frowned, “That means there's probably a lot of other friendship problems we never solved, without the Map.”
Starlight didn't want to dwell on the causality of it all. If no Our Town meant no Map… Well how did that make any sense at all? It's not like Twilight's so-called Friendship Problems were all her fault, why didn't the map appear for one of those instead? She grumbled quietly to herself, apparently loud enough to catch a look from Spike. “So what happened to it? That place looked a lot more abandoned than the rest of Ponyville, it couldn't have been the changelings.”
“I don't know. Equestria has a pretty strict education board. I guess we didn't see eye-to-eye, it didn't sound like the school was ever really open, or at least not for long.”
Thinking a little too hard about it, Starlight realized this was actually familiar. This world's Starlight, in her idolization of Princess Twilight, had of course heard all about the princess’s School of Friendship. Not that she'd applied, a pony whose most important friendship was personally saved by Princess Twilight herself hardly needed to attend a school for it. Education at Celestia’s school was more than comprehensive enough to sate her love of magic. Still, it was even bigger news when the Princess fell out with the education board and shuttered the school for good. Nopony was sure what she'd planned to do after that.
Starlight, Villain Starlight as she'd taken to dubbing herself, wasn't sure what came after that either. She could feel the edge of those memories, but unlike the ones that couldn't resist leaping into her mind, the most recent events in her other half’s brain seemed to shy away from her grasp. That was rather foreboding, but at the same time, the less that other Starlight decided to leak out, the better.
She decided not to tell Twilight about any of this. It might have been nice to rub it in as another one of her failures, but the alicorn already looked so put out about it. Strategically, she didn't want her distracted with where they were headed. It wasn't relevant to their goals anyways, so it'd hardly constitute ‘helping.’
The silence that followed stretched as long as their path to the forest did. By the time they were almost directly beneath that void-black sky, Twilight stopped, staring hard at the trees ahead. “We're here.”
The forest was a strange sight. Starlight had assumed it was dark– it certainly looked that way from afar, and the frightening black void above it didn’t help correct that notion. Closer inspection, however, revealed that it couldn’t really be called dark at all. Starlight could see perfectly into the depths, but she couldn’t ignore the strangest quality of it all. The whole forest seemed to be greyscale, like the color had simply drained up into the sky. Her best guess was a strange trick of the light, as even the ponies started to lose their color as they closed in on the treeline. Everything held a flat, evenly lit characteristic that was difficult to wrap your head around. Where there should be long streams of light and pools of shade, there was simply flat grey, like every surface was lit from every side at once in some old photograph.
Despite the sinister look of the place, something about it did make Starlight breathe easier, and it took a moment to pinpoint what it was. Magic. It wasn’t actually that comforting, despite her body’s natural reaction to it. Whatever had happened to this place, corrupted magic was definitely a possibility, it wouldn’t do them any good to stay here too long.
Twilight was eyeing her carefully. Starlight nodded, “I feel it too.”
“No using magic. It’s bad enough we’re walking through it, I wouldn’t want to see what happens if you try to channel it. We’ll make for Zecora’s house first, if we’re lucky… She’ll be there to help us.”
Starlight raised a brow, “And if we’re unlucky?”
“Let’s just hope we aren’t,” Spike snarked as Twilight led the way without a word. With that, they entered the forest.
They were unlucky, of course. Despite her insistence that she had the way to Zecora's house memorized, Twilight seemed absolutely lost, and of course Starlight herself hadn't stood a chance. It's not like she'd been here before, but tales about the woods made their rounds like any good ghost story. It also didn't help that between the three of them, they could hardly see. It still wasn't dark, but the perfectly flat grey lighting made for a strange effect, she struggled to make out where the edge of one thing ended and another began.
It reminded her of a nightmare, not the parts full of terror and monsters and tragedies, but the esoteric parts of her nightmares. Experiencing the dream from an odd angle, or in black-and-white, or not quite able to move your body properly. It evoked a lack of control, a lack of coherence.
For all the strange feelings it brought to mind, it was actually far less horrific than Starlight had imagined. Eerie, certainly, off-putting the way the only sounds were their shallow winded breaths and the crunch of dead leaves underhoof. Worrying, the way the path behind them seemed to disappear, and the path ahead only wound deeper and deeper, revealing no splits or turn-offs. They could have been walking in circles and there was no way Starlight would be able to tell.
Twilight stopped short all of a sudden, and only quick reflexes spared Starlight the embarrassment of ramming straight into her rump. Whatever feeling she might have felt about that didn't last long enough to matter as she realized the reason for Twilight going still.
Crunch. Crack.
In the distance, audible only thanks to the absolute quiet that fell over the trio, was the sound of old-growth trees being casually felled. Growing, thumping quakes beneath their hooves only made the obvious even clearer. Something was coming. It was big. It was fast. It probably wasn't friendly.
Twilight looked at Starlight, and Starlight looked at Twilight, and neither spoke as the same thoughts raced through their minds. What could they do? Talking was a bad idea, it could certainly hear them. Hiding wouldn't work, it probably had their scent. It sounded so big and so fast that running probably wouldn't–
They weren't given time to consider any more options. The sound of trees giving way just a few dozen feet behind them made the choice for them.
“Run for it!” Spike shouted, and both ponies were off to the races. There was only the one path, still, and cutting through the woods would slow them down far too much, they barely had a hope even with the best odds.
They galloped as hard of a pace as the terrain would allow, and as they ran, Starlight couldn't help but think they were being toyed with. The clamour behind them had faded, and she didn't hear noise coming from anywhere else. So of course that was the exact moment a blur streaked from the woods on their right and sent both Twilight and Spike tumbling into the woods with a loud crack.
Starlight felt her heart lurch. A hit like that would have crushed a normal unicorn, and it was truly, maybe a bit selfishly, lucky that it had been Twilight who took it. Even with the hardiness of an earth pony, it was enough to put her out of the race for a while.
Time felt slow as her adrenaline hit its peak. She glanced to her right and saw nothing, to the left only the still bodies of Twilight and Spike, but… Above she caught a flash of movement. It was enormous, but racing through the treeline above them like it was made for nothing else. Her first impression reminded her of a bear. She didn't look long enough to have a second impression.
All the while, her hooves were still carrying her forward. She had to make a decision. She barely even thought it through, there was nothing she could do for Twilight, except maybe keep running and hope to distract the beast.
Spike though…
She didn't second-guess herself, whichever part of herself had decided, as she wrapped the prone dragon in her aura and wrenched on the fabric of reality that lay between them. It wasn't levitation, she couldn't afford to channel her magic that long, it was more of a punt. He arced beautifully, and the jostling seemed to bring him back to himself in mid-air. With a desperate claw and impressively quick thinking, he grabbed ahold of Starlight's mane, snapping her head painfully to the side, and swung himself over her back.
“Twilight!” He shouted. Starlight couldn't tell if that was a demand or simple concern. She was too preoccupied with keeping all four hooves in proper order and pushing forward as feedback from the tainted magic sent arcs of black lightning into her horn. What followed was a splitting headache, and nausea so deep she almost stumbled. It was agony, but she blazed forward on sheer willpower, and the worst of it seemed to fade quickly enough.
The beast was on the move again, now that she knew what to listen for, she could just barely make out the rustling of leaves above them. That was good, maybe, it had left Twilight alone at least, probably. She, however, could not afford a full-force hit from whatever this creature was. Every twig that snapped under her hoof made her briefly think about her bones.
Spike had turned himself around on her back, and by his leaning, she assumed he was watching above them. He had picked up on the same thing she had.
“Left!” He called. It wasn't a call to turn, there were no turns, so it had to be… She ducked to her knees and her body slid in the dirt and leaves as a massive clawed paw swooshed just barely over the top of Spike’s head. She scrambled back to her hooves and got back up to pace, but her breathing was ragged now, she couldn't keep this up.
“Low right!” She leapt and sailed over the paw, just barely able to make out the blur of the rest of the body attached to the paw in the greyscale haze. She landed hard and stumbled, her energy flagging. The next one was going to hit, she realized, feeling not terror but horrible, peaceful acceptance.
“Starlight,” She heard in her ear, “Starlight, I think it's after me. I need you to trust me.”
“Whh–” She wheezed in reply. She couldn't form words right now.
“Stop, as quick as you can, and pick me up.” She shook her head. That was an insane plan. If she stopped, that was it, every bone in her body crunched to dust. “Please, Starlight, I know it's a lot to ask, but you have to trust me!”
Well, fine. It was going to end the same either way, so she could afford to humor the little pest in her final moments. She slammed her back hooves deep into the dirt, dragging out furrows as she reared up on her hind legs and snatched Spike off her back with her forelegs. She held him up, panting hard and spinning to check every angle of the forest around them. At the end of her second spin, she nearly yelped. There, on the path ahead, was the beast.
It truly was massive, as tall as three ponies, broad and hunched low. The bear comparison was rather accurate for the body, but its face looked more like a mutilated ox or yak, a chimera’s scorpion tail held at the ready over its back, and most surprising of all, a broad pair of bat wings. It didn't move, just sat there, eyes fixed on the pair of them, low growls issuing from its throat.
“Now… Put me down.” Spike whispered gently. Starlight lowered him to the ground and moved back a step. The tension in the beast’s frame seemed to ease, just a little.
“Okay, now do something kind for me.”
“What!?” Starlight hissed, just a bit too loud, a bit too incredulous. The beast tensed again, and the growl grew louder. It took a step forward.
“Anything! A pat on the head, a- a hug, anything!” Starlight glanced down at him, then back at the beast. Whatever idea Spike had, it seemed better than anything she could come up with. She gently patted his head with a hoof, then lowered herself to pull him into a gentle hug, which she quickly and awkwardly released. The ground shook, suddenly. Starlight froze, but it was just the beast sitting. It looked at them intently, but the aggression had left it. “See?” Spike said to it, “No changelings here. It's me.”
“Spike, I'm really gonna need you to explain what just happened,” She said as tenderly as she could, fearing agitating the creature again.
Before Spike could muster a reply, the bear-thing snapped to attention and they could hear shouting in the distance, “Spike! Starlight!?” It was Twilight!
Spike stepped towards the beast, shushing it and holding his claws out reassuringly. His approach was slow, and carefully he thrust a claw deep into the creature’s fur, and gave it a nice scratching on its leg, which was really as high as he could reach.
“Spike, what are you doing?” She demanded as pleasantly as possible, trying to keep her tone light.
“What's wrong, Starlight?” He turned back at her and flashed a smug grin, “Don't recognize a friend when you see one?”
Starlight was still sputtering, trying to get a clarifying question out, when Twilight finally arrived up the path behind them. She was limping and one wing sat at an odd angle, but at least she was upright. At least she was alive. Starlight told herself the flood of relief was because it meant Applejack wouldn't tear her horn from her skull.
Twilight gasped as she saw the creature, which was now laying prone on its belly, and Spike, who was perched atop a paw and scratching mightily at a spot just behind the beast's ear. Starlight watched as some recognition that yet eluded her clicked into place across the alicorn’s expression.
“You always were her favorite,” She said quietly as she approached the creature's face. One heavy eyelid lifted to get a look at her, and the beast immediately raised its head, nearly knocking Spike over. He oof’d into the fuzzy fur of its foreleg. “It's me, I Pinkie Promise. It's me.” She stepped forward and nuzzled against the creature, its nose twitching as it took in her scent and gently returned the gesture of affection.
Starlight just watched, jaw hanging open. It was emotional whiplash. It was mere minutes since the thing had tried to smash them to pieces, and now they were all snuggling? “Can somepony please explain what exactly is happening?”
Twilight put a hoof to her mouth, giggling, “I don't know what happened or how, but… Starlight? Meet the Element of Kindness. We've found Fluttershy.”
Zecora’s home flooded its surroundings with a soft orange glow. Where the light touched, color was restored, lending the whole clearing an otherworldly feel. A sole beacon of color and life in a grey and silent forest. The trio had rode here on Fluttershy’s back, who had left the path and cut straight through the forest. Starlight felt validated in her nightmare comparison. It seemed as though the path would never have led anywhere, and Fluttershy was one of few creatures capable of navigating the unreal terrain.
As they entered the clearing, a herd of animals of all sorts– a bear, a rabbit, a dozen birds, a trio of racoons and everything in-between– came rushing out of the tree home to greet Fluttershy. Whatever silent communication crossed between them was lost on Starlight as Fluttershy touched noses with each and every one of them. While the ex-pony made rounds with her animal friends, Starlight, Twilight, and Spike dismounted and headed for the house.
As they reached the doorstep, the door clicked open and out stepped a zebra. Zecora, of course. Starlight didn't know much about Zecora, the zebra was strangely absent from many of the tales that surrounded Princess Twilight, but certainly the name had come up. She was also aware of the zebra’s curious habit.
“Ah, dear Fluttershy has returned,new friend.
Right. She spoke in rhyme.
Zecora beckoned them inside and they followed. The interior was warm and safe, if a bit cramped by the clutter of relics and herbs, potions, and other objects Starlight had to assume were purely decorative. A cauldron bubbled away in the center of the room, smelling not of some heinous brew, but rather like carrot soup. Starlight’s mouth began to water. Finding a seat, she groaned with relief as she sank down, barrel supported by the cushion beneath. She wasn't surprised that she was sore and dead tired, her head still ached from the bolt of black magic that had grounded itself in her horn, but in the comfort of Zecora's home she felt like she was on the mend.
“Zecora, I don't even know where to start,” Twilight started up the conversation as Starlight got herself settled in and comfortable, “I know you'll believe me about it, but it's still a lot.”
“Twilight Sparkle, I have my suspicion.that day.” Starlight couldn't help but notice Zecora watching her close as she spoke. Anxiously, she wondered what else the zebra might suspect.
“That's true enough, I guess, that is the whole goal. But Zecora, how could you know that? Only Starlight and I seem to remember anything else.”
“I know great many a thing
The rhyme took on a scolding tone as Zecora looked back at Twilight for a moment. She shrank in consternation.
“Many ponies have sought to make wrong into right.
“Shoulda just let me have the win, Twilight.” Starlight snarked. She quickly subsided when Zecora whirled on her with a glare.
“Starlight Glimmer, do not think yourself without fault!
“Right. Yeah. Sorry.” She mumbled out. She was too hungry and sore to put up an argument. Her stomach offered a noisy grumble as thoughts of hunger quickly turned to thoughts of soup mere feet away.
Zecora frowned at the noise,
She quickly ladled soup into bowls for all three of them, passing them out and giving them all ample time to tuck in to the meal. It was a plain soup, consisting only of the vegetables and herbs that could still be scavenged in close proximity to the hut, but to Starlight it was divine. A brush with death really made you appreciate the flavor of a good carrot. While Starlight was busy savoring every drop, Twilight hastily slurped her bowl down and struck the conversation back up once more.
“Zecora, can you explain what happened here? With the forest, and Fluttershy, we heard something about the Pony of Shadows?”
“Fluttershy was here, to hide from changelings
“Are you saying she was… Mutated by the Pony of Shadow’s power, somehow? And the elements lost…” Twilight looked utterly defeated.
“Zecora, if the Pony of Shadows did that to Fluttershy, why do you seem fine?” Spike asked, laying his empty bowl beside him.
“Pay attention to my words, my dear,
Starlight stifled a laugh, and quickly found those too-knowing eyes boring into her.
”Once again you draw my ire!
She glanced away, guilty, but only found Twilight staring too. She was going to ask. Starlight knew she would, she could taste the answer on her lips, ready to blurt itself free with just a little nudge. Zecora was right. Whose laugh had she stifled? Which of her was ready to come clean to Twilight? She had her suspicions, it wasn't hard to guess, but her certainty had vanished.
But Twilight just sighed and shook her head, “Zecora, if the Elements are gone, how can we fix this? There's too little magic left to channel the spell, we thought the Elements might be our ticket out of here.”
“Tirek’s protege was almost successful,
It was all too cryptic for Starlight, especially in her harried state, but the relief that flowed through Twilight's body was obvious. “Of course!” The mare shouted, leaping to her hooves, “The Elements were always just tools. The magic itself, the magic we need, has always been friendship!” She pranced and tapped her hooves, then pulled Zecora into a big hug the zebra instantly returned, “Thank you Zecora, thank you! And thank you for looking out for my friend.”
The zebra chuckled in reply,
Twilight hugged her again, then looked between Spike and Starlight, “I know we just went through a lot, but I don't want to waste time. We need to figure out where Pinkie and Rarity are. Zecora, do you have any leads?”
Before she could reply, Spike broke in, “Actually Twi, I was thinking about that. I mean, I'm not completely sure, but where else does Pinkie go when things get bad?”
Twilight gasped, “Of course, Spike, you're right!”
Starlight rolled her eyes. This unspoken bond of friendship stuff was getting old, “Okay, tell me what I'm missing.”
“The rock farm!” The pair exclaimed together. There was a beat of silence where none of Starlight's confusion cleared up, and Twilight elaborated, “Pinkie Pie is a pony that's pretty hard to predict, except for one thing. Any time she's feeling down, any time something big goes wrong, you'll find her back at her family's rock farm.”
Starlight nodded slowly. Sure, that made sense. Only…
“What the hay is a rock farm?”
Starlight stepped outside from warmth into clear, brisk air. It wasn't quite cold, but certainly colder than the zebra’s home. The strange air that pervaded the rest of the forest was comfortably absent in the clearing, as if the shadow that blanketed the sky shied away from the fire. The color it imbued reached deep into the treeline, but look far enough and the deep greens eventually melded away into flat grey.
Fluttershy rested at the edge of the clearing, her massive form curled protectively around a bundle of varied critters. Her eyes tracked Starlight as she made her way towards the group, settling herself onto a stump a small distance away. “Twilight is in there making more lists,” She offered as explanation. Really, she'd felt a bit useless and she wasn't in the mood to fumble her way into yet another scolding. Cool air and distance were helping to clear her head. “You can understand me, right?”
Fluttershy’s head lifted just a fraction, careful not to disturb her furry friends, and nodded.
“Right. That's good then. I'm sure Twilight explained on the way, but… I'm Starlight Glimmer, and I guess all this is sort of my fault.” She felt ridiculous introducing herself like that. What was she doing here? Why was she talking to Fluttershy? She couldn't even talk back.
“When Applejack didn't remember me, I was angry. It felt like Twilight had taken an accomplishment from me, even if that accomplishment was making her and all her friends hate me. It felt like that's all she ever did! First she tears my village apart, and then she makes it so it never happened.” This was too honest. None of it mattered. Fluttershy wouldn't care. It didn't matter that those cyan eyes stared at her, giving her their undivided attention. She kept rambling anyways.
“I don't care if she thought it was wrong, it was still mine! It was my accomplishment, it was what I stood for! It was everything! And wouldn't you know–” Her voice cracked oddly, and only now did she realize tears were beading her eyes, “Wouldn't you know that you were the only pony with anything nice to say about it at all. And now you don't even remember! I'm a nobody, even to you.”
She cleared her throat and thrust her hooves to her eyes to wipe them dry. She spun on the stump, turning away from Fluttershy. Which Starlight was this? Maybe it was a bit of both.
“Sorry,” She mumbled, “Thanks for listening.” She was just about to stand and skitter away when a great yellow paw suddenly obscured her vision, wrapping around her and tugging her off the stump. In an instant she was buried in soft warm fur, struggling to free herself. “Fluttershy! What're you– Quit it! I don't– You shouldn't–” She couldn't find the words, and the broad arm just held her tighter. She crossed her arms and heaved a sigh. At least it was comfortable.
Twilight and Spike emerged from Zecora’s home and spotted her immediately, of course. Twilight was now sporting a bandage wrap pinning her wing firmly to her side– probably nothing broken or it would have been a splint. Spike was once again wearing a backpack; his old one, she realized, had been left behind in some potential reality. She could do nothing as they both came her way, grinning broad and smug. “She just grabbed me out of nowhere,” She claimed in too much of a hurry. She felt Fluttershy slowly, gently shake her head in disagreement. Whatever. She couldn't tell them what really happened.
“She's just being friendly, Starlight,” Twilight admonished while Spike hid his face.
“Too friendly. Get her off of me.” Twilight didn't even have to do anything, Fluttershy relaxed her hold and let Starlight scamper free. She made sure she was far enough that the paw couldn't make another grab at her.
“Fluttershy, we need to get to Pinkie’s rock farm, but I'd like to visit the Tree of Harmony first. Do you think you could take us?” Twilight asked, placing a hoof against her friend. Fluttershy nodded, and leaned down to her animal friends. Once more, something unspoken passed between them, and the crowd of them moved as one mass out from beneath her. A rather cross looking rabbit ran up to her snout and squeaked. Angrily. Fluttershy kissed it on the head and gently lowered her forehead to touch against the bunny. That seemed like enough for the rabbit, it backed away and joined its friends.
“Thank you, Fluttershy.” Twilight looked over at the rabbit, “Thanks for letting us borrow her, Angel.” She scrambled up Fluttershy’s flank, and helped Spike up behind her. They both looked expectantly down at Starlight. Starlight circled warily around to the side of Fluttershy, and then climbed aboard herself.
Fluttershy stood, impressively steady, her broad back making it tough to fall off. She sniffed the air, oriented herself in what Starlight imagined was the right direction, and shot off into a sprint.
The longer they spent in the Everfree Forest, the more Starlight theorized on the nature of the place. The truth was that for the most part, the forest was less deadly than it had been in its prime. There were none of the mythical monsters she'd heard so much about, save for Fluttershy herself, who seemed to only be a threat to careless changelings. Really, the only threatening part of the forest was its impossible geography. It reinforced her gut instinct that only Fluttershy was truly capable of navigating the corrupted woods.
The strangeness of the forest intensified as they approached the Tree, like ground zero. Even the greyscale tones began to melt away into inky black. By the time they arrived, they were navigating entirely by torchlight– supplies from Zecora to ensure they could reach their destination.
Fluttershy stayed outside, she refused to enter the cave. A few steps inside made it clear why. The mouth of the cavern that led to the Tree of Harmony was a canvas of carnage long-past. Black lumps of chitinous plates were scattered across the floor near claw marks that had taken gouges out of the rock. Dried splashes of rust red and vomitous greens told more of the tale. Starlight could guess why Fluttershy kept her distance.
Starlight wasn't certain what she had expected from the Tree of Harmony, but this certainly wasn't it. Even in the torchlight, the Tree was black, pure void black like a slash through reality. It was the same as the sky above the forest, void made manifest. If the Elements were in there, there was no chance of retrieving them. Around the trunk was a ring of plinths formed of raw crystal, each one colored to match an Element. There was no hint of what they had been used for, but Twilight's careful examination suggested they were new.
Finally, Twilight let out a sigh, breaking a silence that had felt absolute, even sacrosanct. Starlight released her own breath, one she hadn't realized she was holding.
“Zecora was right, somepony stopped the Pony of Shadows, but it cost the Elements.” Twilight frowned, looking down but not quite out.
“Aren’t you guys the only ones who can use the Elements?” Spike asked.
Twilight shook her head, “Celestia wielded them against Nightmare Moon, and maybe there were other bearers before her. The Elements choose who wields them. Maybe they, I don't know. Did what they had to.”
“Did the changeling queen really let it out to begin with? And how? It was barely more than an ancient legend even with all the research we could dig up,” Starlight pointed out.
“Zecora seemed certain that Tirek had passed along his tricks– you were still there when she mentioned his protege. After you left, she explained where all the magic went. Supposedly, Tirek had a penpal from Tartarus, Celestia knows how he even delivered the letters, and he convinced whoever it was to drain the magic from Equestria. It almost worked, and nopony knows why it stopped short.”
Starlight nodded, fitting the pieces together, “And then the Pony of Shadows was released. That's a lot of magic, if you were arrogant enough to think you could steal it. Plus the changeling chitin out there… It’s a shame Fluttershy can't just tell us.”
She didn't state her conclusion, but Twilight’s own nod suggested they had both reached the same one. If the changeling queen could find a way to drain pure magic rather than just love, the power from the Pony of Shadows would have made her unstoppable.
There seemed to be no more clues to find after that. With few answers and many more questions, the trio returned to Fluttershy and climbed aboard. It was impossible to tell if it was morning or night, but they returned to Zecora’s home and slept as long as their bodies would allow, happy to ease their aches and pains.
When they awoke, they set off towards the rock farm. The next leg of their journey had begun.
Author's Note
Everything through the last chapter is written and edited now, so I'll be picking up the pace on my uploads to twice a week, Monday and Friday.
Twilight Sparkle wouldn't stop staring at her. They bounced along on Fluttershy’s back as the once-pony made steady headway towards their destination. Twilight had urged her to keep to treelines and any other sort of cover they could find. The alicorn herself was conspicuous enough, but Fluttershy was a whole different magnitude of ‘obviously something a flying changeling patrol should check on.’ Starlight was casually reclined against the rise of Fluttershy’s front shoulders, and Twilight kept staring.
“What.” She demanded flatly.
“I was just curious which Starlight I was looking at,” She flashed her a cheeky smile, “Don't worry, problem solved.”
“Oh great,” Starlight threw her hooves up, “This is about what Zecora said, isn't it?”
“Well it's not not about what Zecora said, but,” Twilight inched herself a bit closer, grin fading into concern, excruciatingly genuine, “You don't need to be a zebra mystic to tell that you're a mess right now, Starlight. She just helped put the pieces together.”
“Whatever you're thinking, it isn't like that.” She crossed her hooves to her chest and angled her head away.
“So you're not walking around with the memories and feelings of an entire different version of yourself in your head? You're not constantly in conflict with yourself over the basic fundamentals of who you are?” Her tone was light, just a bit teasing, but her face was still all concern, “Because I think that would be a little frightening.”
It took longer than it should have for Starlight to muster her fire, “Shove off, Sparkles, I can take care of myself.”
“So says Starlight number one, what about Starlight number two?”
“That does not matter,” Starlight snapped, “She’s not real, she never should have existed– she doesn't exist! I'm the real one, she's just a big pile of… Lies and worthless could-have-beens.”
“It helps to have a different perspective on things,” Twilight insisted, “Even if she's not real to you, you should still take the chance to see things in a different light.”
“Goodie, now we're doing friendship lectures! Would that make you feel less guilty about screwing up my head? If I saw just how good a life full of friendship could be?” She rose from her reclined position, sitting upright, glaring hard at Twilight, “Well it's cold comfort! You miss out on your magical friends and it all goes belly-up, but I keep just one–” She deflated in an instant. Her anger had carried her into a defeating revelation before she even saw where it was headed.
“Just one friend, and the world ends.”
“I'm not giving up on you,” Twilight said quietly. That was all the alicorn had, empty platitudes. No good friendship lesson to explain why Starlight had to suffer for the good of Equestria. No good explanation for why everything Starlight thought she had came crashing down every single time.
She scoffed and turned away, “Don't worry, Starlight-Two says we're very sorry for hurting your feelings, princess .” She laid down and curled into a tight ball. She closed her eyes and tried to shut out the world. It was still a long ride left to this rock farm.
The rock farm didn't look like much. Well, Starlight decided it certainly did look like a rock farm. There were rocks, and a fence like a farm. There were also a few ponies around the edges of the large field, eyeing them warily. None of them looked at all like what Starlight pictured of Pinkie Pie. Where the Element of Laughter was pink and obnoxious and completely absurd, the ponies she spotted were grey and dull and sedate. If they were relatives, well, the apple was apparently pitched out of the tree.
Twilight had leapt off Fluttershy before she had even come to a halt, and the alicorn took off running for the door, “Pinkie, it's me! Are you here, Pinkie?”
Starlight and Spike slid off their mount with a bit more care, and while Spike ran to catch up, Starlight lagged behind. By the time she made it over to Twilight, Spike had stopped panting from exertion, and the door swung open to reveal a dull pink mare with smooth, straight hair. Was this the Element of Laughter? They were obviously on the right track, but where was her, y'know, laughter?
“Oh… Hey Twilight, hey Spike, hey Starlight.” The pink pony greeted each of them in turn, and– Wait what? Twilight launched into a rambling explanation of who they were and how they definitely weren’t changelings in disguise. Had she not noticed? She glanced down at Spike. Had nopony noticed? No, Spike was meeting her look, a brow raised in question.
Why did Pinkie Pie know her name?
“Um, obviously you're not a changeling,” Pinkie replied to Twilight in monotone flat affect, “So whaddya want from me?”
“We need your help, obviously!” Twilight seemed exasperated, and not the least bit confused. She probably expected fanfare from Pinkie Pie the moment she arrived, “You're our Element of Laughter, we need you to help us charge the spell and put all this right.”
Even Starlight, for all the cynicism she could muster, was shocked to her core when all Pinkie said was “What's the point?” The pink pony turned and disappeared inside the house. Twilight darted in after her, and Starlight and Spike matched looks with each other once again before following.
“What do you mean, what's the point? The point is we can fix all this!”
Pinkie Pie flopped onto a couch, “You said it yourself, Twilight, everything that went wrong here was stuff you didn't even know about back in your world. How's it gonna be any different?” She stretched and sighed, “And Rainbow Dash is in changeling prison, and Fluttershy probably got eaten by a nasty monster in the woods, so we'll never get all of us together.”
Starlight and Spike found seats for themselves as Twilight walked to a window and threw back the curtain. She pointed a stern hoof at the great form of Fluttershy out in the field, now being cautiously approached by a couple of Pinkie’s relatives. “Fluttershy is right there! We saved her! She looks a bit different now, but she's still the Element of Kindness, through and through. And we'll save Rainbow Dash, but we can't do it on our own. Won't you come through for our Element of Loyalty?”
Pinkie was shockingly bitter, “She's not your Element of Loyalty, because our Princess Twilight got… Got.”
Twilight was immediately reproachful, she approached Pinkie with a comforting hoof on her back, “Oh Celestia, I'm so sorry Pinkie, I didn't even think…” She shook her head, “I'm not her. I can't be your Twilight, and I don't want to replace her. I don't know what comes after, back on my world, I don't know if all this happens all over again. What I do know is that there are ponies hurting right now because of what I did, and I have to make it right. I have to put the world back the way it should be.”
Twilight’s eyes met Starlight's just briefly before the alicorn glanced away. She wished it made her feel better, not being the one looking guilty for once, but the look on Twilight's face made her feel wretched.
Pinkie looked unmoved. She let out a long sigh. “Well, I'll come if you need me to…”
Starlight wasn't terribly surprised when Twilight didn't start jumping for joy at the party pony’s begrudging agreement. She didn't know much about the Elements, but it was easy to figure the Element of Laughter wasn't worth much without her laughter. The conversation lapsed into an awkward silence at that, only broken up by the small shuffles of movement and the occasional dramatic sigh from Pinkie.
“Pinkie,” Starlight cut into the quiet, she just had to know, “Why did you know my name?”
Pinkie’s head turned to get a better look at her from the couch, “I know the name of every pony in Ponyville. Or I did. At one point.”
“But I– the version of me from here, she lived in Canterlot, she went to Celestia’s school.”
“Well duh,” Pinkie rolled her eyes. It felt extra rude coming from her. “But you were in Ponyville when you came down from Canterlot every weekend. You were always admiring Twilight and her castle and all the rest of us too.”
That actually wasn't a surprise for Starlight at this point, she knew why her other self held such worship for Twilight. The alicorn herself, however, looked surprised and just a little bit smug, “She was admiring me?”
“Oh yeah, every weekend. I always told her to just go talk to you, and she always told me that you were too busy, you'd already done enough for her, you didn't have time for her.”
“Plenty of time now,” Spike joked, catching a pair of glares from Pinkie and Twilight. In spite of herself, Starlight had to stifle a laugh. It seemed to her that Spike was the best Element of Laughter they had on hoof right now. Actually, that gave her an idea…
“Especially if she's got a double,” Starlight quipped back in defiance of the mood. Both ponies shot looks at her now.
Spike gave her a devilish grin, “Please, that's only barely enough, they'd be way too busy comparing lists.”
“You're right, Spike, two of her might be just enough to get a friendship lesson to stick in my head.” The little dragon cackled at that.
“Or put you to sleep twice as fast!” That got a giggle from Starlight, one hoof to her mouth.
“What is–” Twilight started, but Starlight cut back in.
“One lecture per ear, she could only dream of being that boring!”
“Hey! Rude!”
Spike and Starlight both looked at each other in the beat of silence that followed Twilight’s admonition. Then, slowly, they began to crack up, mouths twisting into grins and little giggles. The bewilderment on Twilight’s face was the final straw, looking like she'd just heard a completely different conversation. The pair started to laugh and couldn't stop themselves. They fell to the floor, kicking their heels. That was when, surprising even herself, Starlight snorted.
She slapped her hooves to her mouth. The room went dead silent. All eyes on her. Her cheeks burned and she was sure she was blushing. She was only rescued by a tiny smattering of laughs from the other side of the room. Everypony looked at Pinkie Pie, and she started to giggle, then chuckle, rising into a guffaw, and crescendoing into a cackle as every hair in her mane poofed and frizzed into a tangled mess. The colors in the room grew brighter, bolder. The energy alone was infectious.
There was a loud thump as Pinkie Pie rolled off the couch. It only made her laugh harder.
Everypony joined in then, even Twilight who seemed to have forgotten why she was sour in the first place. The door nudged open and Fluttershy’s head poked in– She couldn't exactly laugh but she certainly wasn't going to be left out of the fun.
“Pinkie,” Twilight cried, “Your mane!” Now she pranced and tapped around like a giddy foal. Her Element of Laughter was back, and she had brought hope with her.
“Ah geez Twilight, I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me!” Pinkie Pie was suddenly across the room and yanking the alicorn into a tight hug that lifted her from the floor, “Existential dread suuure is heavy!”
“I'm the one who should be apologizing, Pinkie, I've been so focused on getting back home, I didn't stop to think how you girls must be feeling. Even if… Even if I fix things and this all goes away, we're here together right now, and that matters.”
Starlight and Spike turned back to each other, and Starlight gave him a genuine smile. Just a day or two ago, she had been a heartbeat from smearing him across the Cutie Map, and now it was almost like they were…
Starlight's heart lurched. She wouldn't think that next word. She couldn't. Suddenly, in a room full of laughing, smiling creatures, she felt very sick and very alone. This would all go away soon. None of it was real, none of it mattered. They'd forget her again, and remember what they should, remember the villain, and everything would go back to the way it was supposed to be.
Alone. That's what she was supposed to be.
The Princess and her two Elements were busy catching up with each other. The colors that had moments ago seemed so bright were now only jarring and harsh. She couldn’t stand it.
She excused herself to the bathroom. None of them took much notice. None of them but Spike. He was still watching her, his eyes following her across the room to the door. Just before she closed it, she saw him scurry over to Twilight.
She locked the door behind her, and sobbed as quietly as she could.
It wasn't fair that her mind could feel so broken up in so many contradictory ways. One half of her had everything she ever could have wanted, and all it cost was the whole entire world, somehow. The other half knew that the price of fixing the world meant her own misery, suffering every step of the way towards achieving… What, exactly? It had all fallen apart. Twilight had doomed the world to stop her, but Starlight had ruined it in the first place, in the real timeline, in the name of petty vengeance.
There was a knock at the door. She bucked it, leaving an unimpressive dent and pulling a yelp from the pony outside. She wrenched it open with her magic, adrenaline carrying through her through the wave of fatigue, and found Twilight pressed to the wall, looking shocked. They stared at each other. Starlight knew she was a mess. She stepped back inside, locked the door again, and curled up in the cold bathtub.
She had a nightmare about the changeling hive. The details were hazy, but the memory of the changeling queen was crystal clear. She wasn’t sure how she knew what the queen looked like, but she did.
In the morning, Twilight and her friends had convinced Spike to coax Starlight out. That’s how she knew she had gotten too soft on him. Although, she wasn’t ashamed to admit the smell of fresh pancakes had helped. Nopony could explain to her where Pinkie had gotten the ingredients at such a time.
Over breakfast, Twilight got her caught up on their plans while Starlight did her best to ignore any elephants in the room. And also Pinkie Pie. The pony was way too chipper, and preoccupied with launching pancakes out the window and into Fluttershy’s waiting mouth.
“Pinkie Pie told me that Rarity is in Canterlot, so that’s our next destination,” Twilight explained, pausing to take a bite of pancakes.
“Under Canterlot, I said under Canterlot. The caves, silly!” Pinkie Pie pulled the spatula back and flung a full stack of pancakes out into the field. The ground shook and dishes clattered as Fluttershy bounded off, going long.
“Under Canterlot, right, that’s where most of the city hid, but it’s sort of a resistance operation now? Besides demanding food tithes and occasionally… Taking ponies, nopony sees much of the changelings, really. They’re strangely hooves off. The hive is there too though, so we’ll need to be careful.”
Starlight’s stomach knotted. She knew something about Canterlot that she definitely didn’t want to know, something important and terrible and she would remember if she just thought a little too much, so she kept the conversation going instead, “Why is Rarity there? Element of Generosity, if I remember your lecture right?”
“Generosity can be self-sacrifice, too,” Twilight replied quietly, and too quickly. Starlight felt a bit unsteady.
“When do we leave?”
“Whenever you’re ready.”
She nodded and began to thoughtlessly shovel pancakes into her mouth. It was a very tasty distraction.
Well-fed and mostly well-rested, the group set off again with a new member, waving goodbyes to Pinkie’s relatives as Fluttershy ambled away. Pinkie was perched atop her head, while Starlight held her previous spot at the bottom of the shoulders. Spike and Twilight sat together further down her back. Pinkie babbled away questions about the other timeline that nopony meaningfully answered. Starlight was feeling too distant to care, worrying about their destination and trying too hard to not think about what that destination was or what she knew she would find there. The knot of dread buried in her only got worse as they got closer, like it was a curse.
It was actually a bit of a relief to have Pinkie around, Starlight decided. Not because the pony had endeared herself to Starlight, but because it kept Twilight from badgering her with anything too serious. Pinkie was a one-pony conversation, filling the dead air on the long haul journey to Canterlot Mountain. Twilight kept glancing Starlight’s way, then looking away. She could tell it was killing her. Eventually Spike, watching the scene, rose from her lap and made his way up to Fluttershy’s neck, settling down next to Starlight’s head.
“You’re looking kinda panicked again,” He kept his voice low and Pinkie babbled right on over him, oblivious.
“Well Spike, apparently I lived in Canterlot, do you wanna put the pieces together? Cuz I don’t,” She hissed back.
“Scared you might see somepony you know?” She couldn’t tell if he was asking honestly or taking a jab at her, she was too high-strung.
“Just feels a bit more precarious is all.”
“How bad could it be?”
“From what I can remember, I don't think other-Starlight was winning many friends pining over Princess Twilight there.”
Spike leaned a little closer, “But you still had your foalhood friend, right?”
“Sure but,” She grimaced, “What's it mean if he's the only one?”
“Is he? The only one?”
“I don't know! It's not exactly easy to sift through somepony else’s memories.”
“Then there's no sense in worrying about it until we know more.” Spike relaxed back in his spot. Apparently he was staying. Starlight didn’t reply, Twilight was making hopeful little faces at her. Starlight was sure she was going to do that the whole rest of the way.
They had to leave Fluttershy a ways out from the mountain. As the massive hive loomed large overhead, they decided it would be safest to leave her in a patch of woods as close as they could feel comfortable next to the mountain. It was barely a minute before a varied cast of forest critters had perched atop her or burrowed down into her fur. That was good, Starlight didn't like the thought of her getting lonely. The others hugged the great beast goodbye. Starlight didn't, though she did offer a pleasant word or two. It was the least she owed her.
They set off barely past noon, the sun burning high in the sky. Starlight idly wondered if that was actually a reliable measure– it would depend on the changeling queen keeping proper time, after all. Idle thoughts about the changeling queen turned dark in a hurry, however, and Starlight was almost relieved when a certain pink pony came bouncing up beside her. Almost.
“So…?” Was all Pinkie Pie said, her tone full of unspoken expectation.
“So what.” Starlight was in no mood.
“So you're on an adventure with Twilight! Aren't you so excited? It's everything you could have wanted!”
Starlight just stared at her. She wasn't sure where to even start with that. “It wasn't technically really me who you met, you know that, right?”
Pinkie cocked her head, “She sure looked like you. Well, I guess you wear your mane different!”
Starlight heaved a long sigh, “It’s a lot more than just the mane. We lived very different lives.”
“So that's why you suddenly seem waaay friendlier!”
“Pinkie Pie, I'm the evil one.”
Pinkie cocked her head like Starlight had spoken nonsense, “Well you're definitely less shouty, and I don't think you talk about ponies behind their backs. Plus, your jokes are better, the Starlight I know never liked jokes. If you like a good joke, how evil can you be?”
Starlight furrowed her brow, intensely curious about the accusation Pinkie had leveled against her other half. She realized the earth pony was looking at her very expectantly– apparently her question had actually demanded an answer.
“Look, back where we're from, I tried to ruin Sparkles’ life. Technically I guess I'm still in the middle of trying.” Pinkie giggled at that, and Starlight just looked confused. “Was that funny? It wasn't supposed to be a joke.”
“If you hate her so much, it's kinda weird to give her a nickname, don't you think?”
Starlight scoffed and stammered, “No Pinkie, that's– It's a slight, I'm being rude, it's not a nickname!”
The pink pony didn't seem to be listening. She bounced a few steps forward and called out “Sparkles! Ohh Sparkles!” Twilight glanced back, raising an eyebrow in curiosity. Pinkie Pie replied with a funny face, sticking her tongue out and making a noise. Both girls broke out in fits of laughter, and Starlight hated that she had to hide a grin.
Pinkie paused a few steps as Starlight caught up, then fell in beside her, “I still like ‘Twi,’ but whatever boats your float!”
Starlight just rolled her eyes. She had to admit the party pony could be pretty funny, when she wasn't being an obnoxious pest. The feelings that her presence stirred up didn't help either, notes of genuine familiarity shining through from her cache of pilfered memories. Worst of all was the fact that Pinkie Pie might have a point. Starlight had been so preoccupied with sorting out who her feelings were supposed to belong to that she'd hardly spent any time actually feeling those feelings.
She was having fun.
It was actually, honestly fun to go gallivanting off on an adventure to save the world. It reminded her of those first few steps towards founding her village. Designing her ethos and guiding principles, staking a claim to her land, drawing in those first few ponies. It had filled her with a giddy sense of purpose, a feeling of accomplishment, like she had finally done something worthwhile with her life.
Her revenge had been a similar process, perhaps not so idyllic and lofty, but certainly satisfying as each piece had clicked its way into place. Those feelings felt bitter now. Twilight Sparkle had spoiled them all. Was it an accomplishment to bring the world back from a brink it would never remember being on? Was that Twilight’s last laugh? Starlight’s one good accomplishment across infinite realities and it would all be lost in the sands of possibility.
But no, she couldn't force herself to think of Twilight that way. Not anymore. Her villain side, her real side, had to face the music. Since the first moment, the alicorn had done nothing but show trust and concern for her. She had done nothing but try to help. Even this mess of a timeline came from Twilight trying to help. Well who asked her to help, anyways!
Every step of the way, Starlight had rejected her, tried to undermine her. Even now she was only helping for the sake of achieving some grand stroke of revenge after all’s said and done. What did it make her, if she was always at odds with the pony trying to save the day, always on the opposite side from the Princess of Friendship?
A villain. Of course she was the villain.
She stared up, the hive looming overhead. They were deep in its shadow now as they approached the foot of the mountain, marching towards a cavern that spiraled away into its depths. It was cold comfort to her that, villain or no, she was far from the worst of them.
The caves were dark, and it was slow going. Twilight and Starlight had to take turns sending tiny motes of light out ahead of them, supporting each other through each wave of exhaustion that followed. It wasn't intense work, and the after-effects were mild, but each one took its toll little by little as they went deeper into the earth. Eventually, thankfully, there was light from up ahead. They came upon a large wooden construction, a barrier with a sturdy door set in, haloed in glowing orbs that flared and dimmed in the unseen currents of magic.
They all stood around it. Twilight approached and knocked. Starlight expected Rarity to answer, like it was the obvious thing, the only thing that made sense. After all, they'd stumbled right onto the last four Elements of Harmony. Why not this one?
The door cracked open suspiciously. She caught only the barest edge of the pony’s face. It didn't matter, she knew that face anywhere.
Sunburst!
Sunburst was here!
She felt the urge to leap forward, to embrace her one and only, her truest friend, but she couldn’t. The edges of her vision started to blur and fade, and she managed just one step before her legs gave out beneath her. As she watched her body topple over, Starlight’s last fragment of conscious thought decided it was a surprise anypony could actually faint the way they do in books. Then, everything went black.
Author's Note
Halfway through now!
Really excited for the next chapter, I think it's my favorite in the whole fic and I hope you'll all enjoy it as well.
“Sunburst!”
Starlight awoke with a shout, panting hard and soaked with sweat. As she blinked sleep from her eyes, she absently ran a hoof through her mane. That was strange, since when did she have bangs? Her vision cleared, and she realized this was not her bedroom in Canterlot at all. It looked like some sort of field hospital, of which she appeared to be the only patient. The bedding was spare, and the walls were a smooth sickly grey rock that carried the hazy blue sheen of the dim magical lights that floated along the walls. Also there, in the corner, was Princess Twilight Sparkle herself.
Starlight jumped with a start, “Princess Twilight! What are you–” But she had forgotten herself. She stammered to a halt and quickly lowered her head in a deep bow, or her best approximation given she was in bed and only halfway vertical.
Princess Twilight was silent for an agonizing amount of time. Starlight was in a panic as the seconds stretched. Had she done something wrong? Forgotten some honorific? Was she upset Starlight hadn't gotten out of bed to bow? Starlight could swear the Princess wasn't the type to make a fuss about decorum, but maybe she had been misinformed.
It was answer enough when Twilight quietly, so sadly replied, “I was wondering which Starlight I was looking at. I guess that answers that.” Recollection hit her in a flash. Oh right, her other half. The other Starlight was in the midst of what could only be called a tantrum, bucking and shrieking and wailing at the Princess’s concern for her. Like it would kill her to accept that anypony could care about her at all. She should be shouting from the rooftops how lucky she is that the Princess would care so much about her, and instead all she does is moan about it.
“It's me, Princess, the good one! Oh Celestia, I'm so excited to meet you! Anything I can do for you, just say the word, I'm here to help.” She gave the alicorn a broad, proud smile.
She and her other half weren't really separate ponies, not truly. For all the dividing and debating that went on between them, they weren't so distinct at all. It was just a matter of perspective.
Starlight was reminded of an illusion a classmate had once shown her. It was a projection of a ballet pony that appeared to spin in one direction. No matter what angle you looked at it, it spun on in that one direction. The quirk of it, however, was that with a simple mental adjustment, a revisement of how you chose to see this image, the ballerina would suddenly appear to spin the opposite direction. Over and over you could change the direction, all it took was tricking yourself the right way.
And so it was that she was herself again. The memories and feelings she had once othered, she now claimed as her own. The thoughts she had breathlessly insisted were her real ones now sat neglected in their drawers. A simple mental twitch and she could be her other self, her villain self, all over again. But why would she want that? Villain Starlight was miserable.
“That's, uh, great then,” Princess Twilight replied lamely.
“I'm sorry, Princess, did I say something to upset you?” Starlight frowned. Awake for not even five minutes and she had already upset Princess Twilight. At least she wasn't doing it on purpose this time.
“No, no, I'm sorry, Starlight,” Her brow furrowed in concentration, looking for words, “I'm just a bit worried about my Starlight, that's all. I think this whole situation has been really hard on her.” She smiled a sad smile and met Starlight's eyes, “But it's still nice to meet you, er, other-Starlight. Is there something else I can call you? That feels a little mean.”
“Please, Princess, the pleasure is all mine. Call me Glim, if you like, just a silly nickname I picked up in school.” Actually, only Sunburst had ever called her that, but if anypony else had a right to it, it was the Princess of Friendship.
“Glim it is. You can just call me Twilight, it's too stuffy when everypony calls me princess.”
“Okay, Twilight, if that's what you prefer!” She tried to say it as casually as she could, but she was certain she'd failed. She was so giddy she felt she ought to be out of bed and prancing. Villain Starlight would never have stood for such casual closeness between them.
“Can I ask what happened, exactly? You were– well, my Starlight seemed normal enough, but when she saw Sunburst, she collapsed. Then you woke up and now you're you, not her. She's not gone for good, right?”
“Why would you even want her back?” Glim smirked, “She's a monster, not to mention a mess. Luckily, you've got me now!”
Twilight fixed her with such a stern look that it felt like she was burning holes into Starlight’s very core. “She's not a monster.”
Glim laughed awkwardly, caught completely off-guard by the sudden ferocity that faced her, “Twilight, I've heard everything she thinks, especially about you. She's only helping so she can finish what she started and ruin your life instead. I know you convinced Discord to cross the aisle, but maybe this one is a lost cause.”
Twilight stood suddenly, sharply, hooves punctuating on the smooth stone floor, “If that's really what you think, then all those years you spent watching me were wasted.” She didn't say anything after that. She just left the room, the beat of her hooves fading into an echo.
Wasted? How could they be wasted? She knew everything there was to know about friendship, she'd read all the books and she had plenty of friends. There was Sunburst, of course, and ponies from school, whose names were just momentarily escaping her. There was Pinkie Pie, but Pinkie Pie was friends with every pony. Still though, there was– there was–
Rarity! Glim was spared from the line of thought by Rarity trotting into her room. Now here was a pony she knew. Practically every mare in Canterlot knew of Rarity, but much fewer could claim any kind of personal relationship with the mare. It had been the work of months– with a lot of begging her friends for favors– to nab a custom dress and personalized fitting at Rarity’s Canterlot boutique. The dress had been the talk of the school ball that year! She probably still owed some favors for all of it, but what were friends for?
“Starlight, darling, trying something new with our mane are we?” The fashionista walked right up to her bedside, giving her an appraising look, “I like it, very mature, though I'll forgive you needing a brush, bed bound as you are.”
“Rarity! So nice to see you! I'd ask how you've been, but, well,” She gestured her hooves at everything, and nothing in particular.
“Yes, well, that is exactly what I've come to see you about. You disappear for moons, and suddenly show up with Twilight in tow, and she tells us this truly mad story about different timelines and you of all ponies trying to get revenge on her?” Rarity fixed her with a look of concern, “You're just about the last pony I’d expect to, er, have it out with Twilight. Why, you adore her! So what have you truly been up to these past few moons? Obviously it was a daring rescue operation.”
Glim’s stomach instantly tightened into a knot. There were memories she knew she couldn't touch. Her whole recent past was a wad of dread and terror and pain that she dared not examine too closely. Everypony would expect her to know, to remember. She would hear this same question a dozen times before the day was out, she knew it.
“I don't remember much that's recent, unfortunately,” She lied, knowingly and whole-heartedly, “But everything Twilight explained is true. This isn't my body, that's why my mane is different. This is some other Starlight Glimmer, from some other time. The rest of me is here though, I'm the Starlight you remember!”
Rarity gave her a critical stare. Starlight worried she sensed the lie, but the unicorn didn't press. “As long as you're safe, I suppose that's all that matters. Sunburst is just thrilled to have you back– He's desperate to come see you, of course, but you know how busy he gets now. Your big shake-up hasn't exactly helped, either.”
“I don't know,” Starlight clarified, hunching forward and shrinking a bit, “How busy he is. Like I said, I don't remember much that's recent.”
Rarity pursed her lips, “I suppose that can't be helped. I really wish I could stay and fill you in, but I do have work to do, I'm glad I could stop in for a chat.” She stood, and the pair exchanged a quick and careful hug. Rarity made for the door.
“Wait!” Starlight called just before she left. Rarity paused at the door and looked her way. “Why are you here? Twilight seemed certain we'd find you here, but I don't understand why. This place doesn't look like it has much fashion going on.”
Rarity tilted her head like Starlight had just asked the color of the sky, or how many hooves a pony usually has. “There are ponies here who need my help, darling, what is there to do but help them?” She left after that, her hoofsteps retreating the same direction as Princess Twilight's had.
Starlight flopped back into bed. She'd had such high hopes to start with, and immediately she had upset Princess Twilight, and outright lied to Rarity. She knew a little white lie here and there was just what friends did, but this one felt heavier. This one felt dishonest. There was nothing to be done about it, she told herself, something about those memories wasn't safe, and it was easier to lie than try to explain that.
It wouldn't do to mope, however, Starlight was a mare of action. If Sunburst couldn't make the time to come see her, she would just have to go see him herself. She stood from bed, confidently trotted into the hall, and immediately got herself lost.
As she wandered the halls and open caverns, everypony stared at her. It was worse than her villain half ever could have fathomed, they all knew her. Their faces held awe, wonder, confusion, fear. Some of them she recognized, peers and professors and the general citizenry of Canterlot. Most, however, she didn't. Had there truly been this many ponies in Canterlot? Where else could they have come from? How have they survived this long down here? It was a testament to the unbreakable spirit of Equestria, if nothing else.
Her strategy of wandering into each room shouting “Sunburst? I'm looking for Sunburst!” turned out to be effective when ponies in each room she came to began to point out the correct exit from each. Navigating the halls this way, she soon came to a large round room, a perfect hollow hemisphere. In the center was a slab of rock that seemed to serve as a meeting table. Huddled around it were Princess Twilight, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Spike, Sunburst, and a gaggle of serious looking ponies Starlight could only assume were Canterlot Guards, given the identical stances they assumed.
A conversation filtered to her in echoes as she stopped at the mouth of the cave. “Can't just… Substitute Element… Need her.” That was Princess Twilight.
“One mare… Suicide mission… Bad enough…” Sunburst. She heard his voice and couldn't help but gasp. It really was him.
Every head in the room snapped her way as her gasp echoed across the floor. She trotted inside, head hunched guiltily forward, “Sorry, everypony, I hope I'm not interrupting…?”
One of the guards gave her a nasty look. “We were just finishing up,” He spat as his entourage joined him on their way out of the cavern. Starlight’s head sank lower. She didn't even know what his problem was.
Her friends– and thankfully, Princess Twilight too– were sporting encouraging smiles as she reached the table and turned to face Sunburst. There was no way to brace herself, she just had to do it.
“Um, hi Sunburst.”
He stared at her, mouth working but no words coming out. After a few moments, still wordless, he set his hooves around her shoulders and pulled her into a fierce hug. She felt tears splash down on her fur. Probably his, but she couldn't tell, she just hugged him even tighter.
They broke apart and their eyes met. “Glim, I…” He started, then shook his head, abandoning his thought, “I'm just glad you're here. It is you, right? You-you? Because Twilight said you might not–”
Starlight put a hoof to his mouth, shutting him up, “It's as me as I can be, Sunny.”
He scoffed at once, “Fine, it's you, don't call me that in front of a princess though!” Behind them, the girls giggled, and he gave her a very pointed look.
She hooked a hoof around his neck and pulled him into a shorter, more casual hug, “Alright, alright, serious Sunburst it is. I can't wait to catch up with you, I'm sure Princess Twilight– er, Twilight, just Twilight, I'm sure she's told you plenty, but just wait until you hear it from me!”
Sunburst gave her an odd look that caught her out, “We were wondering about that, actually. Starlight… You disappeared. For moons! And nopony has any idea where you went except that there's a lot of possibilities and all of them are really bad.”
Starlight broke his gaze, fiery guilt crawling up her back. Was she going to lie to Sunburst too? “I'm sorry, like I told Rarity, I really can't remember much.” Of course she was. Honesty was way easier in theory than practice.
Sunburst cocked a brow at her, “Really? Well, that's a shame. I'm still glad you're back.” She wondered if she’d pay for that one later.
“I guess it's good to be back, even if it sorta feels like it's my first time here,” She glanced back at the princess and her friends, “Sooo, what’d I miss?”
Sunburst drew in breath to speak but Twilight got there first, “We're on our own for this rescue operation, it seems. Your disappearing act left a lot of nervous ponies, and some of them are still convinced we're changelings. We're lucky Sunburst trusts us, but if there's anything you remember that could set the record straight, it would go a long way.”
Starlight stomped a hoof, “Why does nopony believe me when I say I can't remember?”
“Because you're not very convincing,” Spike sniped. She shot him a glare. She didn't get what the villain saw in the little dragon, why settle for Twilight's assistant when the real deal was right there? Sure, Spike had been nice to her, but so had Princess Twilight. She didn't give him the luxury of a response.
“If I remember anything, I'll mention it, I promise. I really do want to help! I just can't, not with that.” She hung her head, playing up the guilt and regret, skidding an anxious hoof along the floor.
“It's okay, Glim, I'm sorry for pushing you. What do you say we go find some food, girls?” Twilight said. Sunburst gave her an odd look at the use of the nickname, but he wasn't about to pry.
“Follow me, I'll show you to your rooms,” Sunburst beckoned and set off back into the tunnel network.
Starlight bumped up beside Sunburst as they walked, eager to chat, “Sooo, you miss me?”
“Oh, miss, sure that's one word you could use, I definitely missed you.” Sunburst seemed exhausted, not at all thrilled.
“What other word would you use?”
“Let's try completely in a panic because I suddenly ended up running this whole operation alone after you decided to run off to Celestia knows where because you never stop to think how your choices affect other ponies.”
Starlight worked her jaw but couldn't find words to reply. That wasn't what she expected. It didn't seem very fair to criticize her with something she didn't remember, even if she was refusing to remember it. It's not like he would know that.
The hurt must have been obvious on her face, because Sunburst glanced over and apologized, “Sorry. I guess that was only sort of you. It's just been a lot since you left, more than I thought I could handle, but here I am, still handling it.”
“I don't know if it means much, but I'm impressed. I'm not sure if I could manage all this the way you have.”
He gave her a funny look she couldn't quite place, “You did manage it. Everything else aside, you're undeniably skilled at getting ponies to do what you tell them.”
Her brow furrowed, “What do you mean, everything else aside? What's the everything else?”
Sunburst immediately looked sheepish and it was clear he wasn't about to elaborate, “Ah, you know, just, haha, certain things about you.” His pace quickened, nervous, “So, Twilight mentioned you visited the Tree of Harmony. Do you remember our report on the Pony of Shadows?”
Starlight nodded twice, for both questions, “Do we know who released him? Or even how?”
“Chrysalis.” The single word made Starlight cringe, the name unsettling something deep inside her. Sunburst didn't notice, continuing, “After Equestria lost most of its magic, she found a way to crack open its prison. Where that is, or how she managed to get it open, we'll probably never know. The Pony of Shadows rose, and everypony thought it would be the end for sure. You only get some many close calls, right? Our scouts told us a mysterious and powerful group of ponies appeared at the same time and drove it into the Everfree. Sometime after that, everypony in Equestria could see the lightshow that must have sealed the Pony of Shadows away. The damage was already done though, the Everfree is nearly impenetrable now.”
Starlight took it all in, slotting the pieces of the puzzle into the theory her other self had already formulated. There were always more questions, but this felt close enough to an answer. She didn't have much to add, and their conversation lapsed into awkward silence as Sunburst led the rest of the way to their quarters.
Their rooms were in an unused wing that appeared to have been occupied at one point. Starlight didn't ask where the ponies had gone, she could guess well enough. Soon after, a guard escort marched in with bowls for each of them, and Starlight joined Twilight and her friends on the floor of their shared hallway to eat. It was an overwhelmingly plain stew full of hardy root vegetables and, unusually for pony fare, mushrooms.
It wasn't bad, per se, but the alien flavor of the mushroom was off-putting and made eating a challenge. Still, it was edible and filling, and answered a number of questions Starlight had about the complex. It wasn't fine dining, but clearly the ponies here ate well if these were the portions they could spare for possible changeling spies.
As their meals were finished, Rarity and Sunburst trotted off down the tunnels and back into the rest of the caverns. A stern looking guard at the mouth of the tunnel made it clear they were not to follow without a good reason. Not quite prisoners, but certainly not allowed to wander. Pinkie Pie yawned and eventually retreated to her room. That left her and Twilight still laying on the cold stone in the middle of a cavernous hallway. Oh. And Spike, but he was snoring.
“Glim,” Twilight began. Starlight tensed, and she knew Twilight saw. “I'm sorry about earlier. In the infirmary. I still think you're wrong, but I shouldn't have snapped at you. You've been through a lot too, I can't imagine it's pleasant to be a passenger like you were.”
Starlight couldn't possibly explain that it wasn't like that. She was herself, she had never stopped being herself, it was a continuous experience. She just looked at herself differently, and suddenly there she was. “She might not be able to come back, I don't want her to,” It was hardly a reply to anything Twilight had said, “If she comes back, I'm her again, and she's miserable.”
“I don't think she is, Glim. I think she's confused and scared and not willing to give herself the chance to be anything but what she's decided to be.”
“You don't hear the things she thinks! Of course she's not willing, she's evil! And if I help fix this, that's what I have to look forward to! Being miserable and awful, trying to ruin your life, trying to ruin a lot of ponies lives.”
“Don't you see? That’s just it! She's known the whole time exactly what's waiting for her. Anypony with eyes could look and see that it was tearing her up inside, but she was helping anyways.” Twilight's tone was sad, pleading. Starlight couldn't stand her obsession.
“Hardly!” Starlight knew it wasn't true, but it was the thing she could muster. She felt betrayed, down to her very core. Her Princess Twilight had finally come, and she didn't even want her. Tears stung at her eyes, “I spent years waiting for you! Waiting for the day you would finally remember me, finally notice me, the day I’d know you'd gone back to save me, because suddenly I'd be real to you, not just some face in the crowd. But it was never going to happen, because this whole time it was you . Some other Twilight who cared so much about some other Starlight, one I'll never be.”
She stood suddenly. She could hardly breathe. Twilight’s face held only concern, pity. Starlight’s blood was boiling. “Well it's too bad! You made me and I'm not budging!” She stalked off towards the cavern that led to her sleeping area, but stopped in her tracks when she heard hoofsteps behind her.
“You're not just walking away from this one.”
“I'm sorry, do only Princesses get to do that?”
“This is serious, Starlight. We still need your help.”
“What am I good for? I don't have anything for you, I'm not an Element, I'm hardly anything without my magic. It's not like your Starlight would make any difference.”
Twilight stomped. It echoed down the cave, then washed back through the way it came. “She has made a difference. She helped convince Applejack, even if that wasn't on purpose. She helped find Fluttershy, she brought Pinkie’s laugh back. She saved Spike's life when you won't even look at him!”
“Fine! What do you want from me? Want me to bring your precious Starlight Glimmer back so she can mope around some more?”
“I want you to remember,” Twilight said quietly, her fire gone, “Sunburst thinks you went into the hive on your own. He thinks that's where you disappeared to. If you did, if you managed to get inside, there might be something we can use.”
Starlight’s heart lurched at just that mention. Her gut knew Sunburst must be right. The dreams of the hive, the changeling queen. She started to panic, if she thought about it too much, she would remember. She tried to think about anything else but her thoughts just kept circling. She was frozen, stiff as a board, when Twilight trotted up beside her and rested a hoof on her shoulder. “I think,” She croaked weakly, “Something terrible might happen to me if I remember.”
Twilight moved in front of her, meeting her eyes. Starlight still felt frozen solid. “We'll be there for you, the whole time. Just consider it. Please.”
Starlight managed a stiff nod and Twilight stepped out of her way. Mechanically, she disappeared down the tunnel and into the safety of solitude. She still wasn't tired, so she laid down on the straw mat bed and felt very alone with her thoughts.
Generosity can be self-sacrifice too.
The thought leapt to mind unbidden, an offering from her other half. Was it self-sacrifice to cut your heart out? Was it generosity to spill your guts onto the floor for the sake of maybe being useful? Was it good and right and moral to consider it only so the Princess would stop loathing her?
There are ponies here who need my help, darling, what is there to do but help them?
She had done everything she could to live up to the ideals of the Elements. Princess Twilight Sparkle had saved her life, and she had idolized her for it, dedicated her life to the Princess for it. So why did she keep coming up short? Why did she keep disappointing her?
Twilight would never say it, but the sickening truth lurked behind every thought. She was hardly honest, lying to everypony’s face. Kind, apparently not, the way she neglected Spike in favor of Twilight herself. Laughter was right out alongside that one, Pinkie Pie was just too grating, even at the best of times. Generosity was the big one for the day, apparently. And loyalty? It said enough that Sunburst was her only real friend after all these years.
Starlight wanted to cry. All those years she felt special, entitled, above the rest because an alicorn, Princess Twilight Sparkle, had personally come to her rescue. All those years, and she was truly a terrible friend.
She wasn't sure when she passed out, after that. Her thoughts just kept looping back on one another, over and over until she was too exhausted to keep it all straight.
She dreamt of the changeling queen's face, and the sound of twigs snapping underhoof.
The moment she woke, uncertain of the hour, she demanded to see Sunburst. Her shouting match with the guard woke the others, but that was almost lucky. A nod of assent from Twilight made him much more cooperative. She was led through the winding paths and eventually to Sunburst’s bedroom, where he sat at a desk, carefully inking out letters by hoof.
“Am I a bad friend?” She demanded as she trotted inside.
“Good morning to you too, Glim. Do you think you're a bad friend?” He didn't look up at her, just kept writing.
“Don't dodge the question, I'm asking you ,” She spat back.
He sighed and stopped writing, setting the quill aside and resting his head on his hooves, “If this is about yesterday, we can figure something else out, if you really don't remember then don't torture yourself over it.”
“You don't believe me about that anyways, and you're still not answering the question. Am. I. A. Bad. Friend.” Starlight enunciated each word, stepping closer, a potent mix of anger and fear pumping her heart.
“Fine. You really wanna know, Glim? You wanna know if Princess Twilight's chosen one is a bad friend?” He inhaled, and just the anticipation was an arrow through her heart, she knew what he was going to say. “Yes, Glim, you're kind of not a great friend. You're rude, you lie, you've never kept a promise or returned a favor, half the time you're scheming for a way to get ahead! You disappear for moons and won't tell us why. You've spent your whole life thinking you're entitled to all of this, and it turns out it's all just a cosmic fluke!”
He still wasn't looking at her. That was fine. Good, even. It meant he didn't see her tears splashing on the floor as she turned and ran. Her escort didn't even bother to follow, and she got herself lost in a hurry.
She found herself in what she could only assume was a mushroom farm. Certainly there were mushrooms, and a spare few earth ponies obsessing over them. They were too preoccupied to care about her trying not to sob in the corner of the room. Here she was alone again, desperately trying to corral her traitorous thoughts. Maybe she wasn't so different from her counterpart after all, at least this was a habit they shared.
A villain, or a self-important jerk. It made her want to laugh, that cruel twist of fate. She didn't want to be either version of herself! It was as if destiny itself contrived to see her tormented in every lifetime. Perhaps, if she curled herself into a tight enough ball, the world would forget she existed long enough to eke out some measure of happiness. She had been happy before, but it was all so sour now.
She was curled up so tight she didn't notice hooves approaching her. She only noticed the voice when she said, “Starlight, dear, crying is a terrible look for a lady. Won't you tell me what's wrong?”
Starlight looked up at Rarity, managing a weak smile for her joke. The mare had mud on her hooves and sweat in her fur. Had she been one of the ponies working this farm? Starlight hadn't paid that much attention. “Ever since Twilight stopped Nightmare Moon, ever since I even knew who she was, I've been trying to follow her example. Just knowing what the Elements are wasn't enough though, you need to actually live by them too. I think I've been an awful friend.”
Rarity settled down next to her. She reached over with a muddy hoof to comfort Starlight, but seemed to think better of it. “Darling, we would hardly be ponies if we managed to live by the Elements of Harmony all the time. Do you think even we manage such perfection?”
Starlight's sheepish look was answer enough for the fashionista, “Applejack will tell a lie to save her some grief, Fluttershy can shout with the meanest of them, Pinkie Pie has her moods , and Rainbow Dash thinks more about her fame than her friends.”
Starlight actually managed a smile, clearing her throat, “Forgetting anypony?”
“Oh, yes, of course,” Rarity lifted her chin proudly, “I suppose from time to time I am… Reluctant to inconvenience myself for other ponies. Yes, shocking, I know, the Element of Generosity has in herself a bit of greed!” She smiled and bumped Starlight with her shoulder, “The point is nopony is perfect, us least of all, but when we make mistakes, we also make amends.”
“I've got a whole lot to make amends for, I think. I don't even know where to start.”
Rarity stood and offered a hoof to help her up, “You start with the truth, and a bit of generosity.”
It wasn't long before they were back in the large circular meeting chamber. Starlight, Sunburst, and the girls. Spike too, she kept forgetting him. Her eyes were closed and her breathing as steady as she could force it to be. She knew everyone was watching her. Hoping for her, maybe.
“I'm gonna do it,” She spoke into the silence. Nopony else responded. She shuddered, searching for memories that wanted nothing more than to evade her grasp. So near at hand when unwanted, but almost untouchable when she longed for recall.
But only almost. She grabbed ahold, and memory took her into something more vivid than her dreams.
Starlight sprinted through the tunnels of the changeling hive, every wall identical papery brown, cocoons of ponies strung along each. An amulet bounced against her chest, winged and horned and sparkling with ruby. She could feel the power of its magic coursing through her body. She could feel the weight of its influence on her thoughts, a longing for power, for control. Starlight wasn't thinking about the long term, right now they were unified in purpose. She and her amulet would conquer the changeling queen, she would have fame, worship, with her on top she would rule over all the– but first things first. She couldn't afford to get distracted.
As she dodged patrols and swerved into new tunnels, the chain of changelings to her rear was growing longer. It would be easy to blast them all away, but she needed every single mote of magic for what was to come. She wished she had taken that one changeling up on his idea– Thorax? But no, he would have desired the throne, it was hers to claim. She didn't need help.
Finally, her legs carried her into a broad open chamber. It was dim, lit only by glowing sacs of changeling eggs giving off an eerie green glow.
“Now what have we here,” Came a voice from the shadow, “Another daring, heroic rescue? Another fly in our web?”
“Neither, Chrysalis,” she spat, “I'm here for the throne.”
Chrysalis began to cackle. Her horn sparked sickly green and an orb of light floated free, clarifying the room as a whole. Chrysalis sat on a throne, Princess Cadance to one side, Flurry Heart and the Crystal Heart on the other. Lower on the dais stood Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. She didn't see Princess Twilight, and she wasn't sure if that was good luck or bad. “Just how do you plan to oppose my might, little pony?”
This was her moment. She would end it right here and now. She didn't even respond, she just loosed a bolt of pure energy directly at the changeling queen. It shot out, brilliant and deadly red, and it missed.
Instead of taking the queen in the middle of the chest, her wing was given a new hole, black and sizzling. She blasted again, and again, but the queen was onto her now and wouldn't be caught out again.
Chrysalis shrieked and suddenly the world was all black and skittering.
The changelings that had chased Starlight came swarming out of the tunnel and collapsed on her, kicking and swiping and goring until she fell to the floor. Her horn was pinned to the floor by a hoof, threatening to snap it as the amulet was yanked from her neck. She could only watch helplessly as the Queen took it in hoof, considered it for a few moments, and then slurped the magic out like a snack. Had Tirek taught her that?
“And just like that, there will be no throne for you. Was that your whole plan? Come in here and hope to overpower me? My princesses haven't even moved a muscle!” Chrysalis stood from her throne and stalked towards Starlight, bearing down on her, “Embarrassing.”
Her mind was racing for options, but with the amulet gone, her clarity was soon lost to panic. She was caught, trapped, powerless. There was nothing she could do. Her body went limp, collapsing.
“Is that all you've got for me? You heroes are so boring. Any exciting last words?”
Starlight didn't speak, but she couldn't stop a whimper from escaping her throat. Oh Celestia, she was a terrible friend her whole life, and now she was going to die here, alone. What had she been thinking? Stealing powerful, mind-altering, barely-recovered ancient relics from her own vault. Galloping off on this suicidal rescue mission and for what? Because it was a rescue mission after all, before the amulet got into her head, she had hoped to be the one to finally save Princess Twilight.
“Fine then, boring it is.”
The Queen lit her horn and tossed her head back. Starlight felt herself scooped up from the ground and sent flying. She didn't feel the impact, just heard a crunch like broken sticks. She slid down the wall and back to the floor, squishing a changeling egg beneath her.
Chrysalis did it again. And again. And again. Starlight's mind was a haze of pain, eyes unseeing as she stared towards the ceiling. She couldn't think at all, she was just detached. As Chrysalis loomed overhead, horn glowing one last time, Starlight did the only thing left to do.
She died.
Starlight vomited. She didn't know where she was, when she was, who she even was, but she was certain that she was vomiting. It was hard to miss. A hoof rubbed her back comfortingly. There were voices, but she couldn't make them out. She vomited again, then flopped to her side.
Twilight was there, when her eyes finally opened. The relief was so overwhelming that she heaved a sob, “Oh Celestia…” That brought on more gentle rubbing and sweet soft words whose meanings were lost. She shut her eyes again, briefly, just a moment, she told herself. When she opened them again, she was back in one of their bedchambers. Twilight was there.
“Glim,” Twilight said the moment she noticed Starlight was awake. The alicorn had been crying. “Starlight, I'm so sorry, we never should have pushed you. That was horrible. ”
Starlight remembered. She had spoken the story aloud, but her own recollection had been so vivid it dominated her memory. It had been tactile and horrific and absolutely necessary. “I died,” She said numbly, her voice hoarse and weak, like she had been screaming, “I died and I'm here to remember it.”
She grunted as she felt Twilight tug her up into her lap, wings folding around her in a warm hug. They were both silent for a long time while Starlight picked up the mess inside her head. Her mind felt crystal clear and more confused than ever, because this? Twilight's hug? It was comforting. It wasn't sickening, appearing weak, being held by her sworn nemesis. It wasn't giddy and unbelievable and everything she could have wanted from her idol. It was just nice.
Something had shifted in her mind again. Where the two halves had once chafed against each other, they now fit neatly together. She felt like herself again, whatever that meant. The memories remained, but no longer held such urgency, they no longer vied for control. Starlight and her other half had reached an accord.
Twilight broke the silence, “Can I ask which Starlight Glimmer I've got now?”
“Me,” She was quiet, resolute, “It's all just me.”
Author's Note
I get more nervous with each chapter upload
No brakes from here to the end, we're almost through it.
Four of them stood around Applejack's kitchen table. One of them had her head poking in through an open window. A little dragon was stood on the table, rather than beside it. Starlight and Sunburst were the odd ones out, seated to the side, next to each other. Starlight was trying very hard not to look at him or think about him.
“So that's the plan. Tomorrow is the big day, and I don't think we'll have much time to talk after this gets started. Not until it's all over. So if anypony has anything to say, say it now.” Twilight scanned their faces as a resolute nod traveled through the room. She paused, looking at Starlight, “You've done so much already, and after what you've been through, nopony would blame you if–”
“I told you, Twi, I'm coming. That's final.” Silence filled the room, all eyes on her. Her skin was crawling. Why was everypony looking, had she said the wrong thing again? Just as panic started to take hold, Pinkie gave a shout.
“She said it! She called her Twi! Fluttershy, you owe me ten bits.” Fluttershy shook the house with her low growling, sparking a fit of laughter from Pinkie.
“I told you she'd cave eventually, Fluttershy,” came Spike’s contribution.
Starlight's cheeks burned, “Shut up! You're all a bad influence on me. Twilight is just a mouthful.” While the others laughed, she noticed Applejack giving her a hard stare. She stuck out her tongue and made a face, the way she had seen Pinkie Pie do it the other day. The farmpony rolled her eyes and looked away, but Starlight caught the smirk that tugged at her cheeks.
“Twilight darling,” Rarity spoke up, “You still haven't explained what exactly happens after this terrible idea.”
“Right, thank you Rarity. After that, it's very simple. We all go to the school, we tap into the Elements of Harmony, and we use the magic to power the spell–” Spike waggled the scroll for all to see, “– and then I can go back in time and fix the timeline, the way it's supposed to be.”
“And what happens to us?” Applejack asked.
“I… Don't know. I don't think there's a creature on the planet that could answer that, this is magic nopony was meant to wield. The only thing that makes sense is to put it back how it was before, no matter what happens.”
It was a chilling answer, and it soured the mood of the room. Applejack looked stern, Rarity nervous, while Pinkie chattered to Fluttershy.
“You said the Elements are gone, aren't they? Lost in the Everfree Forest,” Rarity pointed out, “How are we meant to use them?”
Twilight smiled at her, “The Elements themselves were only ever a tool. It's like Zecora said, the magic itself is friendship. We don't need the Elements themselves when everything they represent is right here. When we need it, it'll work.”
“Are you really willing to just bet on that?” Everypony looked at Sunburst. Starlight didn't.
“The Elements are something special. Sometimes I think they've got a mind of their own. Plus, Elements or no, I have faith in my friends.” Twilight's certainty was infectious.
That seemed to be enough to satisfy everypony, meeting adjourned. Twilight and her friends began to chat more casually. Spike wandered her way. He made her side table into a stool.
“I'm glad you're back,” He mumbled. Starlight caught movement from the corner of her eye, Sunburst glancing towards them, then politely looking away.
That was complicated, but… “I'm glad to be back. I'm sorry for ignoring you, it won't happen again.”
“Good, one of you is bad enough. Almost as bad as two Twilights. Two of you is worse.”
They shared a little giggle, “Don't worry Spike, it's just me in here.” Spike stood, glanced around the room, and before Starlight could react at all, he had stolen a hug at her shoulder and hopped away.
Starlight looked over at Sunburst, finally. He was looking her way again, couldn't help but eavesdrop on the conversation next to him. Hardly his fault, they hadn't made much of an effort for privacy. Their eyes briefly met, then both dropped to the floor.
“I'm–” “Sorry,” They both stammered out at once, looking back up again. Starlight managed a smile, and Sunburst gave an awkward chuckle, and neither of them seemed sure who should talk next, so neither of them did for a long moment.
“I shouldn't have said what I did, not in the state you were in,” Sunburst broke the silence.
Starlight shook her head right back, “I don't even know what to say, exactly. I'm not the Starlight you knew, I never really knew you, I'm sorry about that. I guess I'm also sorry I– she– I took you for granted, and I'm sorry you can't get the apology you deserve.”
Sunburst’s smile was sad, “Maybe when you get back home, you could reconnect with me– other me.”
“I'm not sure you would like me much, after everything I've done.”
Sunburst stretched a hoof between them, an offering, “My Starlight would never have mustered even half of an apology like that. Don't sell yourself short, okay?”
Starlight didn't have much to say to that, she just took his hoof in hers, accepting the comfort.
The shared warmth in the room was suddenly chilled by a slamming knock at the door, “Get out here! It's inspection time!” Everypony in the room froze. The changelings weren't supposed to be here until tomorrow. Starlight was sure that was on everypony's minds, but her thoughts were worse. She knew that voice.
The knock came again, “Come on! Out here now!” Under his breath, she could barely make out him muttering, “This is bad enough as is.” Applejack rushed to the door and opened it just a crack. Everypony scooted to one side, staying out of sight. “There you are, erm, Applejack. My queen has heard reports that you are harboring fugitives, conspiring treason against our beloved highness. You and your friends will come with me, or else, um, not good things will happen.”
“Nono, sir, I sure do think you're mistaken, cuz, uh–” Applejack made a token effort to fend him off, but the changeling simply shoved his way in.
Starlight recognized him as she stood there, slowly beginning to scan the room. Changelings looked a lot alike, but the way he carried himself was all nerves, a very un-changeling type of stance. He was unsurprised by the crowd of ponies in the room, right up until he saw Starlight and gasped. “You.”
“Me,” Starlight said back, almost like she was exhausted by the news, “Thorax? Is it you?”
In an instant he was on her, looming tall over her and glaring down. She shrank, her heartbeat doubling, mine racing with thoughts of the queen. “Don't you call me that! Don't you say that like you're so hopeful! I needed your help, and you abandoned me! You ran off and– you should be dead! How…” The Elements looked about as panicked as she felt. This was not part of the plan.
“I don't know how, there's a lot I can't explain, but I remember you, Thorax. You wanted to help! Well, we need your help now.”
He shook his head, “No way, you won't win me back with pretty words. What was it you said, after I let you in and you abandoned me? Once a changeling, always a changeling. No thank you, I'm keeping my head down, I'm just lucky she didn't do the same thing to me after your stunt!”
Starlight's hopes fell further. She looked around the room again, but the others had nothing to offer but shrugs and wary looks. This was her mess to clean up.
“I remember, and,” She breathed deep, “I'm sorry.”
His eyes flashed with anger and Starlight flinched away, but nothing followed but his voice, “Oh, well if you're sorry .”
Starlight steadied her stance, rising out of her defensive hunch, “I am sorry. I said a terrible thing. I did a terrible thing. You only wanted to help, and you didn't deserve the way I treated you.” She glanced at Twilight, suddenly aware of the double meaning, but she did her best to press on, “I can't go back and change what I've done, Celestia knows I can't, but I can still try to do what's right now. I don't care about the queen, I don't care about the throne or the changeling hive. They need Rainbow Dash back, and I'm going to help them, with or without you.”
Thorax was taken aback, caught off-guard by her. He looked over the ponies around her, “How can I trust you again?”
She shook her head, “You can't, but you can trust them. Even you should know who they are.”
He was silent, scowling for a long time after that. Nopony moved, barely breathed in case it prompted a change of heart. Then he nodded, “Fine, but we do this tonight.”
The apple cart rolled on through the night, bumping and clacking and carrying anything but apples. Starlight watched the silver glint of the dog whistle bounce against Twilight's chest. She wasn't sure who Winona was, but apparently the whistle worked just as well for Fluttershy, their cavalry. The rest of them were huddled in the cart as Thorax explained the plan.
The changeling hives were, according to Thorax, in a dire state. There had been an explosion in population shortly after Chrysalis captured the princesses, but the disasters in the moons that followed had done severe damage to their food source. Many of the ponies they captured simply died of malnutrition or lack of magic, and those that didn't were slowly wrung dry. Chrysalis kept the wellspring that was Cadance and the Crystal Heart to herself.
Changelings were starving, the hive was dying.
The plan was simple, there would be few guards on the lowest levels, where the waste was dumped. Rarity had scoffed, but Thorax had assured her she wouldn't be getting her hooves dirty at that point. They would take the cart all the way to the next level, where grubs and larvae were raised. There, they would retrieve whoever it was Thorax wanted safe, Starlight could only assume it was his child, and then ascend once again to what they called the love farm.
Before he was demoted to menial out-hive work, that's where Thorax was, tending to the ponies held there as best he could. Rainbow Dash was there and as safe as possible, he assured them, the pegasus was a prize to their queen.
Of course the plan wouldn't go without a hitch.
“What do you mean she's not here?” Thorax hissed. Their group stood behind him, feeling extremely exposed, and not only a little bit uncomfortable at seeing all the changeling grubs. Most of the young were in a sorry state, as if the food couldn't be spared even for them.
“It means what I said, she's not here. A guard came down and said Chrysalis wanted her. Do you think I would argue? Your treason is bad enough.” That was Pharynx, his brother, apparently. Starlight didn't realize they could have brothers.
“I have to try, you know I made a promise. I'll figure it out, just… Just please cover for me.”
Pharynx grunted and nodded, eyes on the ponies. Starlight glared right back. Thorax led them to another small side tunnel, barely large enough for any one of them single file. It burrowed and climbed and coasted in nonsensical patterns as they followed it. She felt claustrophobic, anxious, certain this was a trap or certain they would be caught. If it happened here, it was all over, for good this time.
Her fears didn't come true. They emerged onto a new floor. This one was sickeningly familiar, caught by the oozing green glow of the cocoons that held so many ponies. Thorax was right. Starlight hadn't even noticed when she was here before, hadn't paid any attention. Some floated and twitched, as if asleep. More, too many more, lay still, bodies at awkward angles. It was horror distilled.
She just stared. She didn't even know this pony, could never have known this pony, but it didn't matter. Her vision blurred and blackened at the edges, her breath coming in and out as desperate heaving puffs, barely able to get enough oxygen to stave off unconsciousness as she stared.
This was her fault. That was the thought that held her locked in place. Sure, Twilight's spell and all that, but it didn't matter, the excuse had worn thin. Starlight had started it. Whose fault could it be but hers? She tried to engrave the scene in her memory, like she could hold vigil for every pony who had suffered in this world she had made.
She went stiff when a wing settled itself over her shoulders. Twilight. She just kept staring.
“We'll fix this. Don't forget, that's what we're here for. One last thing and we can fix all of this.”
“What if we can't? What if it all happens again anyways?” It was barely a whisper.
The wing tugged at her, pulling her away with a surprising amount of force. She let it turn her around, and faced the group. All of them were concerned, sympathetic. Even Thorax somehow looked worried for her. It stung, like they'd forgotten it was all her fault.
“We'll stop it, Starlight. Together.” Twilight smiled, and that would have to be reassurance enough. Starlight had forgotten herself– they were here on a mission. She had to see it through. She breathed deep and tried to reign in her racing heart, then nodded. No more delaying, it was time to get Rainbow Dash.
Thorax led the way, picking tunnel after tunnel with sheer confidence. What scattered few changelings they saw were small and scarce, shying away from the group, as if the heroes of Equestria running through their hive was a common occurrence they knew better than to question. Maybe it was, Starlight had no clue what they got up to for fun.
They were getting close. They had to be, by the way Thorax kept speeding up, checking each crossroads before hurrying along. Her hopes were soaring right around the time she remembered– they owed Thorax, and Chrysalis had whatever he wanted. Well, problem for later, with the Elements assembled they would be a lot safer.
Even that tentative hope plummeted when they heard a shout at the next crossroad, “Thorax! You're not supposed to be anywhere near this level, what do you think you're doing exactly?”
A tall, stern changeling, strapped in armor, appeared from around the corner, “And… Ponies!? Those certainly don't smell like any changelings I know.”
The guard had his back to Thorax, so he never saw the bug mouth the word “Run” before leaping into a tackle atop the guard. They didn't need to be told twice. They ran.
It was chaos in seconds as they all took off in the direction they had already been walking. A horn sounded that echoed and vibrated through the whole structure of the hive. The buzzing of changeling wings seemed to come from every tunnel at once as they charged ahead. They took paths as a group, Twilight at the head making snap decision after snap decision, Starlight at the rear, starting to flag. Nopony noticed as she fell further and further back, and she never noticed the moment the group fell out of sight. She could hear hoofbeats and shouts echoing back to her as she blindly chose tunnels, but they only seemed to get further and further away.
She slowed to a stop, panting. She was lost and alone in the changeling hive again. The thought set her into a panic immediately, her already ragged breath struggling to calm down, her heart pounding at her chest like it was about to pop. The walls seemed to close in on her, the ponies inside their cocoons leering at her. She shut her eyes tight and thought of Twilight’s wing guiding her gently away. She forced her breath to calm, counting them out long and slow.
Panic wasn't an option, not this close to the end.
She put one hoof in front of another, and again. She was moving. She wasn't alone this time. Separated, but not alone. She forced herself to keep walking forward, choosing tunnels blindly. With dread in her stomach, she knew where she would end up again. It didn't matter, she could buy time for the others. She kept moving.
Her hooves carried her where she expected, like it was inevitable. Maybe it was. Destiny seemed funny lately. The room was quiet, and that dull green glow spilled out into the hall. She had no entourage of changelings chasing her down, and no amulet to fuel her magic. She stepped into the queen's chambers, fully herself, fully alone.
There, upon the throne, was Chrysalis.
Starlight froze as the weight of memory crashed into her. Those eyes, that face. Oh Celestia, what was she thinking? She couldn't do this! She didn't even have a plan, she'd just walked right in!
The scene hardly varied from first time. The changeling queen’s collection of princesses were arrayed around her, Twilight mysteriously absent. Eggs coated walls and floors around the room– no sign of any smashed ones. They had cleaned up since her last visit. Chrysalis herself looked more like she was perched upon the throne than resting in it. She was not anywhere near as ragged and emaciated as the handful of changelings they had seen around the hive, but of course she had her own personal supply of love. The only thing out of place was one dark blue changeling drone beside the throne, not one of the wriggling grubs but a nearly-grown juvenile looking very very frightened.
Was that who Thorax had been looking for? He had been rather cagey on the subject, which had frustrated Starlight, as if they could help find something they hadn't even known how to look for. Well, now she'd found it, and there was nothing she could do with that.
The queen rose from her throne, slurping magic from the Crystal Heart like it was water, “Now isn't this just a fascinating prize. I could have sworn I had your horn mounted on a wall somewhere. You'll have to explain that trick to me.”
“No trick, Chrysalis, you're just sloppy.” Confidence was all she had. She had to play it cool. The queen had underestimated her last time, and the extra hole in one wing was testament to that.
“Ha!” She barked, not a laugh, just that one syllable, “I'll make sure to be more thorough this time.” She took a step forward.
“Please, I'm not that stupid. Do you think I'd come unprepared a second time?” She had to bluff, she had to be believable. Her face wore all the smug arrogance she failed to feel in her heart. A well-timed rumbling of the hive supported her claim, and she had no idea what had caused it.
The queen hesitated a step, leaning back. This had to work. “I don't see that silly little trinket of yours.”
Starlight forced a laugh of her own, “Of course not! Some magical amulet was never going to work. I needed real magic, not cheap recycled stuff.” She gave a pointed look at the Crystal Heart. Rile her up enough to be believable, but not too much.
Chrysalis looked almost giddy, “Really? You've found a source of magic out in that wasteland? Do tell.”
“Won't just tell you, Chrysalis, I'm gonna show you,” She took a step forward, posturing, and watched Chrysalis fumble for a step back, “It’s not quite like love, but you're gonna love the taste.”
She was starting to feel the pressure as the seconds ticked by. There was only so long you could threaten before you lost credibility. Still, not a lot of options. In for a bit, in for a bushel.
“It's a magic you can't drain, a magic you can't ever stop. You're not even gonna see it coming.” She couldn't help it. Her eyes glanced to one of the far tunnels, hoping against hope. No such luck, and that was her one mistake.
“You're all talk,” snapped the queen, stalking towards her again. “I don't know what you're stalling for, but it won't be enough to save your hide!”
It was Starlight's turn to step back, though it wouldn't do much good. Chrysalis cleared three times the distance in just one step, nevermind her magic. Starlight’s heart dropped in her chest. She froze, trembling on the spot as the queen leered over her. The changeling’s horn went green and Starlight felt the magic envelope her and ever so slowly begin to crush inwards.
In an instant, it was hard to breathe, harder to think. Her body refused her fate on sheer instinct, kicking and writhing and gasping, greedily sucking in any spare oxygen it could get ahold of. Her horn lit, sparked, and went out as she tried to muster any mote of magic to her dimming will, the nausea that followed drowning her further in senseless sensation.
And suddenly, she could breathe, the magic falling away from her body as she pulled in gasping breaths. “Please,” she heard distantly, “It would be a waste to end one so stubborn and persistent as you so quickly.” There was a green haze at the edge of her vision as her body was carelessly tossed across the room, just like she remembered.
This time, she felt it. The twig-snap of her front leg twisting to an impossible angle echoed through the room as her mind blazed into white-hot, world-annihilating pain. “Watch closely now, Ocellus dear, you never would have learned a lesson like this from those sniveling cowards you called ‘parents.’ We’ll make a proper changeling of you yet!”
The Queen's horn, just barely in view, lit up again. The world hazed into green as Starlight was enveloped in magic. This was really it. She was going to die. Again. That didn't seem fair at all, not after all this, not after they'd gotten so close. Or maybe it was fair. Maybe it was poetic and tidy for things to end this way. Her body shuddered with silent acceptance. The whole world went white, but there was no pain, no more than her aching leg. In some far away place, Chrysalis screamed and sizzled, and Starlight realized what had just happened.
It had worked.
Oh sweet Celestia, her friends were here.
A bolt of rainbow zigzagged through the room, and suddenly there were hooves under her shoulders, pulling her aloft and racing back towards the tunnel.
“Don't watch too close, newbie, this is barely a quarter of my best.”
The world flashed by her. She saw Thorax racing out of the chamber, the blue juvenile following close behind. She saw Chrysalis, chitin charred and smoking, rising to her hooves. They entered the tunnel and the scene disappeared, turning into fluffy yellow as she was unceremoniously dropped onto Fluttershy. She couldn't stifle a yelp as a shock of pain coursed through her leg. Rainbow Dash landed beside her, panting.
“Normally I… Wouldn't even be winded,” The pegasus assured her between breaths, “I'll be… More gentle next time.”
Before anypony could enjoy the reunion, however, there was a shriek from the throne room. Chrysalis had recovered, and was issuing commands, “Get them, get them! You're not worth the magic I feed you unless you get them !”
Now they had truly done it. Twilight was already urging Fluttershy towards a massive hole in the wall of the hive, presumably Fluttershy’s initial entrance. They almost made it, too, could have leapt for it, but Fluttershy skidded to a halt. There was a flash of magic, pink and swirling green, and there was Princess Twilight Sparkle. A second one.
Nopony moved a muscle, not even the other Twilight. Twitwo, Starlight decided, or else things would get confusing in a hurry. The longer they all sat there, the more the tension seemed to mellow into a sort of awkwardness. Twitwo had been told to ‘get them,’ but it seemed as long as they weren't running, they were good as gotten.
It wasn't quite silence between them, with the background thrum of the hive and the echoing, incoherent shrieks of the angered and injured Queen, but Spike was still the first to break it. “So, Twilight, got a plan for this? In the comics, they always have a plan for situations like this.” His voice was barely above a whisper.
Twilight glanced his way, trying to keep one eye on him and one eye on her double, “A couple, maybe, but they don't usually involve me being here to help. Or being in another timeline. Or a lot of other factors I can't even begin to list right now.”
“Do they involve the magic of friendship?” Starlight asked.
Her answer was a nervous nod from Twilight.
“Don't think that's gonna work here.”
Twitwo made for a grim and disconcerting sight. It was the princess they all knew, yet everything was horribly wrong. She was emaciated, starved, her ribs poking out like a ladder along her barrel. Her fur was dirty and unkempt, her mane ragged and chopped short. Above all, of course, her eyes glowed the sickly green of changeling magic. Starlight was shocked she could even stand upright, she must be running purely on the queen's magic. She certainly hadn't been cared for with anywhere approaching the standard of the other princesses. Acting on a grudge, perhaps?
“Could Fluttershy just, you know, bonk her the way she got you in the woods?” Starlight wondered aloud. Fluttershy immediately shook her head. Starlight was disappointed, but she understood. This was Fluttershy’s Twilight after all, not some potential changeling intruder. Spell or no spell, that was a bridge too far for the Element of Kindness. With friendship looking unlikely, and violence right out, there weren't a lot of great options.
The growing buzzing drone of noise from the tunnel behind them meant they were out of time, too.
Starlight dragged herself forward to Fluttershy’s ear, her broken leg held daintily aloft. “Can you bluff it?” She whispered quickly, “You won't hit her anyways, she'll teleport, just bluff it then jump.”
Fluttershy’s head tilted in consideration, then gave a short nod. Her paw wound back dramatically, and shot forward, slowing to a stop just next to Twitwo. The alicorn blinked into existence above and behind them, and Fluttershy leapt out into open air. The unfolding of her great wings sounded like a tarp, and they all jolted as she caught the wind and began to glide. Starlight clenched her teeth, feeling the jostle in her bone.
Twitwo was out and flying moments later, the distraction only enough to get them out of the hive. Starlight wondered if it was actually an awful plan as a bolt of green and pink magic flashed past Fluttershy, narrowly missing her wing. She'd turned their stand-off into target practice.
The changeling magic infused into the alicorn provided too much of an edge. Applejack and Pinkie Pie were practically worthless out here in middle of the sky, and Rarity wasn't much better off without magic. At least Rainbow Dash could fly. As for Starlight herself, well she wouldn't be able to run if she had to, so it was just nice that that didn't matter right now.
Twilight was calling directions in a flurry, doing everything she could to guide Fluttershy back to ground without taking any hits from her other self. Starlight couldn't be sure what sorts of spells she was lobbing at them, but none of them would be fun. Occasionally, Twilight’s horn would light, nudging the projectiles astray with the slightest bit of magic. Starlight worried over the way she slumped more each time she did it.
How could she help? She wasn't an Element of Harmony, and without her magic she was a rather vestigial part of the group. The only thing that mattered was getting Twilight and her friends to the map to cast the spell. She wasn't a necessary part of that, but she couldn't do a thing to help without magic. That's what it kept coming back to as her head started to wrap into panicked loops, magic magic magic, where could she get some magic?
A rumble passed through the body beneath their hooves as Fluttershy cried out in pain. There was a smoking hole in the thing membrane of one wing, not big, but present and painful. Twitwo had scored a hit, and more would surely follow, but it had jolted Starlight into the answer she needed.
“Twilight, I need you to hit me with the Elements of Harmony.”
Twilight could barely spare a glance back, but she certainly managed the incredulous shout, “What!? Starlight, this isn't the time for jokes!”
She shook her head furiously, “Not joking! Chrysalis did something to her, charged her with her magic. If she can do that, why can't the Elements?”
“We can't just do it on a whim! It took us minutes to get it going,” Twilight did manage to spare the time to look at Starlight's leg, “We barely got to you in time.”
“It doesn't matter, you need to try. I can buy you time!”
“Your leg! You're in no condition to–”
“Twilight!” Applejack cut in, “Whatever you're doin’ now ain't gonna work for long!” She gave Starlight a long look up and down, her mouth opening into a weary smile, “She wants to help, let's make that happen!”
“Yeah, come on, Sparkles!” Pinkie Pie joined in, giggling in fierce defiance of the mood.
“Let her do this for us,” Rarity placed a reassuring hoof to Twilight’s back, the alicorn nearly collapsing from staving off another attack.
Even Rainbow Dash added, “Fine, let the newbie have some of the glory, we've got a job to do,” as Fluttershy rumbled her own assent.
Starlight wanted to cry at the show of support, but there was no time for feelings. It was time for action. She reared to her hind legs, offered a silent salute with her unbroken foreleg, and with faith in her friends, she dropped backwards into the sky.
She watched the sparks and flashes and the shrinking form of Fluttershy, and she wanted to laugh as she fell. They'd pull it off, she knew they would, she just had to force their hooves.
The sky flashed a brilliant rainbow as a magical corona formed around each of the six Elements. The other Twilight’s attacks fizzled harmlessly in the field of raw magical potential that surrounded them, and the corrupted alicorn was quick to change tack. She dove, coming straight towards Starlight.
But a radiant beam of light raced her, and got to Starlight first. Half of her expected to be blown away the moment it connected, the way Chrysalis had, but it halted her descent instead. She was wreathed in the magic of friendship, and it was warm and pure. It was a feeling beyond description, as if before today she had never tasted water, and now freely slaked her thirst.
She wreathed herself in her own aura, bearing her aloft as her friends fell back atop Fluttershy and made for ground once more. This time, she could help. Shielding herself with every spell she could balance at once, she zoomed towards the oncoming alicorn, and plowed straight through her, the force of the unexpected hit sending Twitwo spinning through the air.
“Come on, gimme your best shot, Twilight! I'm finishing what I started at the race!” Starlight didn't know if the goading would even matter to the corrupted alicorn’s dulled mind, it wasn't even a taunt that would make sense to the mare from this reality. The wave of adrenaline was cresting, however, and Starlight had her own feelings to get out. She loosed a lazy blast of energy at Twitwo, “You're second rate! Element of Magic and you can't touch me!”
Her bait worked. The alicorn blinked above her in an instant, and Starlight shot another bolt of magic straight out of the top of her horn. It caught Twitwo in the leg, a massive cube of crystal forming around it. The effect was immediate, Twitwo dropped a dozen feet in the air before her wings could catch her and stabilize. The crystal was wrapped in that pink and green aura, vibrated, and it exploded in a shower of glinting specks of dust.
Twitwo looked up at Starlight. Her expression was still vacant and green, which made the eye contact all the more foreboding. She was unreadable, but at least she was focused on Starlight now.
The pair began to trade off, striking and parrying in turns as they tested each other’s defenses. They danced through the sky with ease, Starlight’s skilled levitation versus Twilight's natural alicorn flight. The teleportation made things difficult, each pony taking turns repositioning with magic until one of them felt they had just enough advantage to fire a shot that was always summarily blocked by the other. Twitwo's teleportation was predictable in that she tried to be unpredictable, always choosing the same oblique angles to try and catch Starlight out, Starlight always predicting those angles with moves of her own.
Thus, Starlight was off-guard when Twitwo blinked and appeared right in front of her, instead. The alicorn dove forward and actually tried to gore Starlight with her horn, cutting through multiple layers of spell protection like butter. They weren't worth much against what amounted to a sharp stick.
Starlight barely caught it in time, her horn hooking against Twitwo’s and their heads mashing awkwardly together as the alicorn looked for an angle to dig the point in. Their horns spat and sparked, magic mixing with magic as ivory clashed with ivory. Starlight squeezed her eyes shut and let out an incoherent shout, bursting with magical energy that broke their grapple and sent them both spinning away from each other.
Twitwo was the first to recover, and the bolt she fired sank right through Starlight’s weakened magical guard. It hit her broken leg and everything went blank in a tide of pain. She came to only seconds later, but seconds were enough to find herself falling fast, her levitation spell momentarily released. She caught herself as gently as she could, which was still a shock, and the ice-cold jolt through her body almost kept her from deflecting the next shot in time. Almost.
Glancing around wildly, she saw a dark dot of movement in the distance, near the smudge that was Twilight's school. The others had made it to the map, she only needed to give them a little more time. Huffing and panting, she felt for her magical reserves. It wasn't pretty. With a few more desperate deflections, Starlight realized the other Twilight was outplaying her. The alicorn wasn't trying to take her out, she was playing for time, and Starlight’s dwindling magic meant she would win it.
Taking quick stock, self-levitation was the obvious drain on her energy, so that was the problem to solve first. She barely thought about it, the longer she thought, the more time that gave Twitwo.
She blinked out of existence, teleporting– a massive expenditure of energy, a necessary one– she fell from above and on top of Twitwo. Three hooves hooked around her barrel, pinning her wings, the fourth bouncing uselessly as it sent sharp pains up her leg. Her head angled and bit down hard on Twitwo’s horn, wrenching it to the side and threatening a break. It was a cheap and dirty move, the type you only saw in the messiest of street scuffles. As she pressed and pressed on the horn, she cast an aura around the alicorn’s pinned wings, heating them, heating them until the scent of smoke reached her nostrils and her legs burned where they met feather.
Together, they plummeted.
Twitwo wrenched her wings free enough to glide, nearly knocking Starlight off as they rapidly lost altitude in the direction of the school. They couldn't be allowed to make it there, Starlight wouldn't have the magic to fend her off at this point. She pulled her last dregs of magic into her horn and let out another explosion of force.
It wasn't enough. The angle was just right that they smashed through the ceiling of the school and straight into the central lecture hall.
Twitwo hit first, breaking the fall enough that it didn't kill Starlight on impact, but it definitely hurt. Starlight was sent rolling away, each rotation showing her that pain had not yet reached a limit. She was all but certain her poor foreleg bone had been reduced to dust, and her mind struggled to think about anything else.
It struggled to assemble the logic of the scene as the six Elements fell apart mid-spell with a chorus of shouts. It could not process the words of their cries as they took notice of the second Twilight in the room, and Starlight's own sprawled and broken form. It could not bear to watch as the corrupted alicorn stood and stalked towards her, first and foremost.
Twitwo’s horn lit pink and green, an orb of energy collecting at the tip. Her head lowered, taking aim, face expressionless without remorse. For all the noise, everything seemed silent, there was nothing else but this. At least she had done her best.
“No!”
The word cut through everything, striking Starlight's core, a roar of defiance. Suddenly, she was seeing double, two Twilights squared off. A blaze of magic flared from the haggard twin, twining pink and green through the air.
Starlight didn't even have time to doubt her own Twilight's abilities, the alicorn deflected the blast with an easy twitch of her head. Her aura… Sparkled, still charged with the last remnants of the Elements’ power. It was all they had left.
Another bolt of light met another deflection, this time a small hex of shielding light blinking into existence just long enough to protect them. They continued to trade off from there, each deadly flare of sickly green light tossed away with precise, economical defenses.
Hope began to wither in Starlight's chest. Even with this last reserve, there was no way for her Twilight to turn the tables and gain the upper hoof. It was all defense, it wouldn't last, and there was nothing anypony could do in the meantime.
To her credit, Applejack tried to intervene, kicked her legs out in a buck aimed straight for Twitwo’s head, but the corrupted alicorn flashed away in a blink. Pure single-minded instinct and raw changeling magic were the only things left operating the husk of a pony.
She wasn't sure how she knew to shout a warning. Twitwo was as blank faced as ever, every single muscle in her body perfectly controlled, and that's why something deep in Starlight’s subconscious noticed . It noticed the way the muscles in her face shifted just a fraction, the way the cords in her body tensed for an instant.
“Her horn! Watch her horn!”
Another flash of pink and green magic, and Starlight knew the trick Twitwo would try to pull. She was inches from her double in an instant, horn lowered, already spearing forward into a charge. Twilight yelped, twisting her body away, wrenching her head down. The tip of the horn gouged a cut into her flank before catching it with her own and dragging it free.
Twilight dragged the horn up, up, leveraging the strength of her healthy body, until the pair were face to face, eye to eye, horns crossed in a perfect X above them.
And they froze there. Stock still, statuesque.
The silence was immediate, heavy, everypony in the room trying not to breathe while they studied the sight. Looking at the alicorns gave Starlight the strange feeling of unreality, like neither pony she clearly saw actually existed in the room with them. It was as if they had been removed from time altogether, leaving behind only an image.
“Oh no,” Spike was the first to speak, first to let his fears overcome his shock, “No no no.” He scrambled over to the alicorns and nervously reached a claw out towards Twilight, out through Twilight.
“I told you, Twilight!” The little dragon’s voice cracked terribly, “Paradoxes! You touched your double! That's timeline ruining stuff!”
Starlight dragged herself forward with one hoof, gritting her teeth to keep from gasping in pain. She didn't want Spike to notice that. She wanted to help him. Do anything for him.
He heard her approach. His eyes bounced between her and Twilight, silent and pleading. The other ponies in the room were coming nearer now too, offering their own empty comforts. They were all far beyond their depth. What could they say?
Starlight counted the seconds, the minutes spent waiting for reality to shatter, but it didn't. Everything simply remained.
“So, uh,” Applejack spoke, “What now?”
“Now every bug in that hive comes crashing down on our heads.” Not very encouraging coming from Rainbow Dash.
“I meant something positive. Useful.” The farmpony cocked a brow at Rainbow Dash.
“Well I'm positive that your rescue plan was absolutely–”
Starlight didn't hear the argument that kicked off. A strange feeling settled over her. She could swear she felt something, a presence, like she was in a fishbowl and there was something outside looking in. Enormous and unfathomable. The feeling was so clear, so certain, so disarming that she couldn't help but cringe away from it.
One eye half-open scanned across the room. The Elements were now deep into a squabble between all five of them. It seemed impossible that they couldn't have noticed, but the feeling that Starlight felt would have cut the argument off at the head.
But there was always Spike. Once again their eyes locked, communicating more than Starlight had ever thought possible with one expression. Whatever it was, they had both felt it, and the others hadn't. That felt significant, somehow.
She didn't have time to ruminate on the thought. The feeling faded away, and the moment it was gone, the room lit up, blinding light emanating from the horns of both alicorns. It filled their surroundings, washing the world away in white, but not blinding her with it.
Suddenly the other ponies were gone, it was her, Spike, the alicorn and her twin. They stood alone in an endless white expanse.
Twilight moved. Her Twilight. She stepped forward, forehead bumping gently against her other self. She lifted her hooves and dragged the other into a tight hug. Starlight couldn't hear the words that were whispered from one to the other, there wasn't any sound at all.
The other Twilight reciprocated the hug. The glow of their twined horns redoubled, and this time it was blinding, Starlight had to shut her eyes to keep from losing her vision entirely.
Her eyes were still clenched tight when the world snapped back from unreality to a chorus of alarmed shouts and the feeling of pebbles or dirt or hail skidding across her back.
She wrenched them back open and blinked away the spots of temporary blindness, forcing the image of Twilight in front of her to clarify.
Just one Twilight, that much was obvious, her Twilight and not the ragged twin. But there was something off about her figure, prone and almost serene. It took too long for Starlight to place it, it was right in front of her and her mind refused the basic fact.
Atop Twilight’s head was a jagged mess where her horn used to be.
Sparkling purple ivory lay scattered around them, the debris that had struck Starlight. Her throat closed tight and panic set in, her brain finally trying to grapple with the fact that the very worst possible thing had just happened.
Starlight had failed to protect them.
Twilight had lost her horn for it.
Their Element of Magic was without her magic.
What could they possibly do now?
Author's Note
Last chapter on Friday. Thank you all for sticking around, it means a lot.
“Again!” Twilight barked, her voice as ragged as she looked.
Her flank was matted and red.
The Elements formed up around her, and one by one they were again lifted into air on a glowing corona of magical light. Honesty, Kindness, Laughter, Generosity, Loyalty. Last came Magic.
Again Twilight's horn spat and sparked and clawed for purchase against the invisible plane of magical energy that fueled its craft. Again Twilight’s face twisted into a rictus of pain and exertion, trying to channel magic through shattered ivory. Again her horn released a blast of energy that sent her sprawling across the floor, her friends dropped just as clumsily out of the air.
Twilight groaned and rose to her hooves, slower at it than the time before. “Again!” She shouted, again, again.
This time, nopony moved.
Starlight just watched. There was nothing she could do here, she had done everything she could, and this was the end of the line. More than anything, she was preoccupied with moving as little as possible. Everything ached at a minimum, and her broken foreleg was frighteningly numb.
“Didn't you hear me? Again! We need to keep trying until this works!”
Applejack had cleared the distance between the two of them, and she set a hoof at Twilight's shoulder, “Twi, I'm startin’ think it's not gonna work. Maybe it's best we start considering our options.”
“Yeah, nothing coming our way yet but that hive is definitely buzzing,” Rainbow Dash called from the ceiling where she was peeking out of the hole Starlight and the other Twilight had left on entry.
“No! We're not giving up, this has to work!” Twilight punctuated this by stomping her hoof into the floor. She yelped and nearly fell over when her hoof went straight through the top layer of floorboards. She was caught and steadied by Applejack, but it was clear the surprise had broken her composure. “It has to…”
Applejack gently guided Twilight into a huddle with the other Elements. Starlight was left out. She wasn't an Element, and the huddle was over there while she was stuck aching and immobile over here .
But that was fine.
It was fine, because this was all her fault. It was fine, because she'd screwed up. It was fine that she was left out, because she'd let everypony down after they finally trusted her.
Increasingly, it wasn't fine. It had been a long time since thoughts of failure and inadequacy had swarmed her, plagued her to this extent. Not since Our Town. Not since Twilight Sparkle and her friends had taken everything she had built. When she had plucked out all those feelings of worthlessness and despair and ground it all into a core of molten rage. Rage at Twilight Sparkle for everything she had done, rage at the world for the life it had given her.
She couldn't do that this time. There was no outlet, nowhere to lay the blame but at her own hooves. Her reliable well of fury, the emotion she had held onto so long, to sharpen her mind, to make her purpose certain, the well had run dry. She wasn't angry, she couldn't even be angry with herself.
She was just disappointed.
So she sat as fierce whispers drifted free of the formation across the room, never clear enough to make out the words. She sat, alone with her thoughts, alone with this lump of undeniable failure lodged in her heart.
She was so certainly, so entirely alone with her thoughts, that she hadn't even noticed Spike sit down beside her.
He hadn't said anything. She wasn't sure how long he had been sitting there without saying anything, but he took notice of her when she took notice of him. She wasn't sure what to say, so she went with ol’ reliable.
“Here to foalsit me?”
A joke. Not even very inspired. She couldn't even fake a smile for it.
“You do a good job getting beat up when nopony is looking.” Spike kept his eyes on the huddle, but it was a relief to hear him quipping.
“Well the good news is that it'll be much easier for my friends to keep an eye on me now that I can hardly walk.”
Spike didn't respond. After a moment, she glanced at him. He was staring, jaw open wide.
“What?”
His open mouth stretched into a grin, “What was that you just called them?”
Starlight rolled her eyes. Really? “Fine, yes, I called them my friends. After going on a big old world-saving adventure, I got close to the ponies around me. You caught me. Happy? You wanna be my friend too?”
Spike was still looking insufferably smug, “We both know I already am.”
Starlight sighed and couldn't help but smile at that, “Yeah, you are. Maybe my best friend, but if you tell anypony that, I'll deny it.”
Spike mimed a zipper across his lips, and their conversation lapsed into silence. They were both watching the huddle. Something about the tone had shifted while they talked. Rather than whispers of fierce debate, the Elements had rallied around their princess, doing their best to comfort the alicorn.
It was painful to scoot half an inch closer to Spike. If he noticed, he didn't show it.
“Things aren't looking good, huh.”
Spike shook his head.
“It's all my fault.” She mumbled. That wasn't to him. That was for herself.
Still, Spike shook his head again.
“Look, I appreciate the friendship thing now, really I do, but we can both see the facts. I'm the reason we're here in the first place, and I wasn't strong enough to stop the other Twilight.”
“Look, does it even matter anymore?” Spike gave her a look so fierce that it blindsided her.
“O-of course it matters,” She stuttered, surprised by him, “Somepony has to take the fall, right?”
Spike’s look grew a fraction more annoyed, “But they don't! You and Twilight both, on and on this whole time about how it's all your own fault, how you feel so guilty for what you did, but none of that's gonna fix anything! It doesn't make me feel any better when you say stuff like that, so who are you saying it for?”
Starlight blinked at him. She couldn't make sense of it. “I'm supposed to apologize for… That's the whole friend thing, I thought…” She croaked out.
“We're way past apologies. Knowing whose fault it was that we're stuck here forever doesn't mean we're not stuck,” Spike’s voice wavered, his fierce expression cracking, tears beading at the corners of his eyes, “I wanna go home, Starlight.”
Starlight didn't know what to say. She didn't know what to do. Nopony had ever looked at her like that. No creature had ever needed comfort from her like that. It didn't matter. This was her friend , she had to do something for him, anything.
Her one good foreleg– and good was a generous word, it was at least as bruised as the rest of her– wrapped around Spike and tugged him against her chest. She held him there, tight. When tears found their way to her eyes too, she blamed it on the pain. When her voice cracked, she blamed her broken ribs, “Spike, we'll figure something out. We'll get you home. I promise.”
It was an empty promise. It was trite and worthless and it felt right to say, right enough that she could almost feel it. Sometimes you had to put on a brave face.
Starlight felt her fur dampen. Spike was sobbing quietly. She held him there until the trembling stopped.
When she released him, he looked up at her, face wet, snot leaking from his nose, “You don't believe that one bit.”
She did her best to smile for him, “Sure I do. If Sparkle over there is throwing in the towel, somepony has to be the last one left hoping, right?”
“She's not done yet, she's just… Out of ideas, I guess.”
Starlight wasn't so sure. The way Twilight was half-leaning half-sprawled atop the Map wasn't an optimistic look. She looked about as bad as Starlight really felt.
“Would you mind grabbing her for me? The huddle seems done-for.”
Spike nodded, taking a few steps away, “I hope you've got a better pep talk planned for her than me.”
She chuckled, refreshingly light in contrast to how heavy the mood was, “I've got no plan at all, but recently I've been surprising myself.”
Spike scurried away and tugged at Twilight’s wing. She lifted her head, then looked at Spike, and then looked at Starlight. Starlight couldn't help but notice the way the alicorn's eyes sparkled, slick with tears. Waterworks for everypony today.
Twilight trotted over, and she was talking before Starlight could even get a word out, “Oh sweet Celestia, Starlight, I'm so sorry. This is all my fault! We're all gonna be trapped forever and it's all because I cast that stupid spell, oh I should have listened to Spike all along but noooo, this is real magic Spike, I know real magic, and look where it got us! If it weren't for me, we'd be–”
“Somewhere worse, probably,” Starlight interjected, feeling guilty. Twilight didn't notice.
“– back at home, in the castle. If I'd just tried a little harder to reach you, but I didn't! I was so upset, and so scared that we almost ended up– I just cast the spell instead, and everything went wrong, and I hurt you, the pony I wanted to help, most of all! I should've known better–”
“Twilight?”
“– But I didn't! And now I have to live with the consequences. This is my punishment for one big stupid mistake, the Tree of Harmony is punishing me, the Map is, and because of me, you're gonna–”
“Twi.”
“– You're gonna, I don't even know! Or I know, but I don't want to say it, because that's all my fault too, because I let you get separated in the hive, because I left you behind to fight to fix my mistake, and I just–”
“Twilight!” Starlight shouted, loud enough to draw eyes from around the room, “Shut up!”
Twilight shut up, looking at Starlight with the saddest, wettest puppy-dog eyes.
“Sorry. I meant be quiet. Please.”
Twilight was silent, tears threatening to make a break for it down her cheek.
“Look, if anything, we're both to blame.”
Twilight drew in breath, opened her mouth to respond, looking so desperate, so hopeless. She was quickly silenced by a stern look from Starlight.
“We're both to blame, so we're both responsible for fixing it,” Starlight glanced across the room to where Spike had taken up Twilight's place in the comfort huddle.
“We can't fix it, we've already failed.”
Starlight gently bumped Twilight’s shoulder with her good hoof, “Twilight Sparkle giving up right at the finish line. I thought you were the hopeful one.”
“I'm hopeful when there's something left to hope for.” Her head hung low in defeat.
Starlight pressed her hoof to Twilight’s chin and gently guided it up and over, coaxing Twilight to look at her. Starlight smiled. It was forced and fake and felt realer every second as she said, “There's always something to hope for. What about a miracle?”
The corner of Twilight's mouth tugged up. Not a smile, still far from it, but something more than bleak hopelessness touched her expression, “Miracles are pretty rare, that's why they're miracles.”
“I've got a good feeling about this one.” Starlight surprised herself with the certainty in her words.
The moment stretched longer and longer as neither spoke after that. They just stared, face to face, eye to eye. Starlight cleared her throat and released Twilight's chin after a long time, too long, turning away with a furious blush.
“I'm glad we're friends. If there's nothing else, then I'm at least happy for that,” Twilight mumbled. Twilight hadn't looked away after Starlight had released her.
“If I hadn't–” She choked on the feeling in her throat, “If I hadn't lost Sunburst, there's so many terrible things I never would have done, so many ponies I never would have hurt, but I also wouldn't have ever met you. Is it selfish to be glad I met you, knowing what it cost? Is it terrible to be happy that I'm a monster who got to know you, rather than just some average, unremarkably bad friend that you would never spare a thought for?”
Twilight slowly shook her head, “I don't think that's selfish. I'm starting to wonder if that's the whole point.”
“The point of what?”
“This,” Twilight said simply, “All of this. Why we're here at all. We don't know exactly how you would have turned out, my meddling changed this world’s Starlight a lot, but we know one thing for sure. Without Our Town, the Map never appears at all. You're important somehow, Starlight, in ways we won't know until we see them.”
“So that's what it comes back to? It's destiny that I become a monster. There's some mystical reason why I have to suffer?” It was hard not to let the bitterness, the defeat creep back in.
Twilight shook her head again, fast and firm this time, “Not a reason. There's never a reason a pony has to suffer. It's just what happened. No reason, no sense, just the simple fact that sometimes things happen. Sometimes the whole world is out of our control, and we suffer and struggle through it, and that makes us who we are.”
“I didn't turn out great.”
Twilight rocked back, about to swing the other way and bump shoulders with Starlight. At the last moment, she stopped with a sheepish smile, “Just because we're technically stuck in time doesn't mean you're still the same mare you were a week ago.”
“I haven't changed that much. I just did what made sense. That's all.”
“Starlight Glimmer.” Twilight’s tone was stern. Starlight turned to face her.
“Twilight Sparkle…?”
“Don't tell me you haven't changed when you still have dragon snot smeared on your chest.”
Starlight instantly snapped her head back the other way again, blush finding its way back to her cheeks, “Ah, you saw that, huh.”
“It made me feel a lot better, you know. I got so wrapped up in myself, it helped a lot to see you looking after him,” Twilight brushed a free hoof against Starlight’s good one, so gently, “Starlight one week ago would never have done that. The other Starlight wouldn't even give him the time of day unless she thought I'd notice.”
Starlight’s felt like she was on fire, overwhelmed with feeling she could hardly parse. She wanted to run and hide, but her legs barely worked. She wanted to teleport far far away, but her horn hardly worked. All she could do was sit there as Twilight heaped praise upon her.
“The point is, I'm glad I'm here with this Starlight, and not any other.”
“Thanks,” She barely managed to get the words out, “Thank you.”
“No, thank you . Thank you for putting on a brave face. There's always hope for a miracle,” Twilight smiled warmly, “Did you want to chat with any of your other new friends?”
Starlight couldn't help but scoff, “You're aware I only barely know them. What's there to talk about?”
“The only way you get to know them better is by talking. You know, we'd only just met the day before when we used the Elements to stop Nightmare Moon,” Twilight said in her lecturing voice. She seemed like she had more to say, but she stopped suddenly, a strange look passing over her face while she stared at Starlight, “But you do think of them as friends, right?”
“I already told Spike, yes, they're my friends, I called them my friends, can we please stop making me say it?” She shivered, more for drama than necessity with the way it made her body ache, “It still feels weird.”
“But you have friends. Five friends.”
“Well, Spike makes six, you're seven, but–”
Twilight shook her head so furiously that Starlight imagined it was the kinder alternative to slapping her, “Come on, Starlight, work with me! You have five friends, and a working horn!”
Starlight blinked at her. Oh. Oh. “But I'm not… It wouldn't…”
“Maybe they wouldn't, but maybe they would! We don't have anything left to lose by trying!” Twilight pushed herself to her hooves and pranced in place with such suddenness that Starlight almost yelped, “This whole time I've tried to be the hero, but trying to be the hero, trying to fix things all on my own, that's what got us into this! I can't believe I didn't see it before.”
Starlight was staring up at her. Twilight offered a hoof and Starlight took it. With a great heaving grunt, they got Starlight up to her hooves as well. She was unsteady, and just standing in place was a trial. Twilight pressed close to her flank, giving Starlight something to lean on.
“Starlight Glimmer, you're the miracle.”
Twilight’s mood was infectious, Starlight really felt the hope she had only pretended to have. The whole room took notice of the shift in mood.
“Uh, Twi, should she really be up and about right now?” Applejack was looking concerned as Starlight staggered each step towards the Map.
“No better time than the present,” Twilight responded cheerfully, but unhelpfully.
“She's got an idea. It's me, I'm the idea,” Starlight clarified insufficiently.
“Hey!” Rainbow Dash called from the ceiling, “Lotsa bugs coming right this way. If you've got an idea, it's now or never!”
“Then get down here, Dash, we need our Elements for this,” Twilight called, but her eyes were focused on Starlight only, “All our Elements.”
“Not to be rude, Twilight, but you are aware that the Element of Magic is not just any old unicorn, I would know,” Rarity sniffed indignantly, “Am I right to presume you think she can just fill in?”
“She's not just any old unicorn, Rarity, she's our friend!” Twilight was giddy, her eyes almost manic, but she still had the good sense to clarify, “The Elements are more than just fancy jewels, they're independent, almost alive in some way we've never understood. They stopped working for Celestia after she banished Nightmare Moon, but they worked for us when we needed them to! And we really, really need this to work.”
“So you're not even sure? We're just betting on it?” Starlight wasn't sure if she was hearing panic in the pegasus’ voice, but then she also hadn't seen what Rainbow Dash had seen outside. Fluttershy bopped the pegasus out of the air with one large paw, either an attempt at comfort or an admonition. Who could say?
“Betting, maybe, or just hopeful. We have to try.” Twilight beckoned them all over, sparing Starlight the pain of having to maneuver into position.
Pinkie bounced her way over with a cry, “Starlight gets to shoot the friendship beeeaam! That's so COOL!”
Applejack just shrugged, “Sure, one for the road.”
The room shook as Fluttershy moved, only a couple steps needed. Starlight felt a large wet nose gently poke at the back of her neck, bringing a smile to her face.
“Fiiiine, the newbie can have this one,” Rainbow Dash ceded, hovering gently into place, “But if it doesn't work, it's not my fault.”
Rarity, last but not least, stepped into place with a dramatic flourish, “We're putting a lot of faith in you, Twilight dear.”
“Don't have faith in me, have faith in her,” Twilight stepped away from Starlight and gave her a meaningful look, “I can't really help you from here, you just need to sort of… Feel it out. Remember, it's not quite like regular magic.”
“Gee, that's real helpful Twi.” Starlight rolled her eyes and shut them tight. She breathed deeply, evenly, trying to shut out the sensation of her battered body, the anxious shuffling around her. She focused only on her horn, like a sixth sense, feeling for magic that felt different somehow.
When there was nothing, she started to panic. There was nothing, it was all the same, completely normal magic all around, barely enough to light your horn by. She couldn't sense anything else. Did that mean she wasn't chosen? The Elements wouldn't respond to her? Not even at a time like this?
Her breathing lost its rhythm, growing erratic as she swayed on her three good hooves. She had let them all down before, and she was about to do it again, and for a moment she was angry. Angry because it wasn't fair, because she'd given it her all, every last desperate step, and still! Still she was coming up short!
She wouldn't accept that. Couldn't. She had grown, had changed, and impossibly, she had made friends!
Friends that were right by her side, believing in her.
One by one, she found them, the faintest strings of some energy that wasn't quite like ordinary magic. Strings that dangled loose from the ponies around her, begging for connection. One by one, she took hold of those strings.
Applejack, Element of Honesty, her blunt words the very start of peeling the image Starlight had hid herself beneath.
Fluttershy, Element of Kindness, who was so tender with her, no words needed to show the care and warmth she exemplified.
Pinkie Pie, Element of Laughter, who helped her see the value of levity in the darkest times, the hope that it could bring.
Rarity, Element of Generosity, who showed her how to begin making amends, to give of herself for the sake of others.
Rainbow Dash, Element of Loyalty, dedicated to her friend to a fault, but never hesitating to do what was needed, rescuing her at the very last moment.
There was only one Element left, and she knew where to look. She found it in herself.
Starlight Glimmer, (interim) Element of Magic, and what did she have to say for herself? Well, magic was her special talent, after all. Says so plain as day, right on her flank, and thank goodness for that.
The room flashed minty green as the magic burst free, carrying them aloft. It was warm and inviting, she wanted to laugh, only to realize she already was. The wellspring was endless, asking her to drink deep.
So she drank, and for a moment she was everything, all the friendship and all the love in all the creatures in this land– and there was still so much of it! Even at the end of the world, there was companionship and love and life surviving in every nook and cranny through every hardship the world could throw at them.
She drank another sip, and she was smaller now, but no lesser for it. These were the bonds that held communities together through adversity. Sunburst’s ‘rebels’ were among them, ponies on the brink who had not yet broken, taking comfort in their fellows, finding joy in the darkest places.
Another sip and smaller still, but stronger now, so much stronger. Bonds between individuals, which had seemed so shallow to her before, but ran as deep as oceans.
She was a pair of changelings flying towards the horizon, no destination in mind, but the firm hope that anything was better than this.
She was a unicorn, so happy to have met her ghost, in spite of everything, happy to talk again.
She was a zebra, stoking a hearth of warmth and color that defied the bitter world around her, ensuring the impossible creature that was her friend could always find comfort at home.
It was a boundless pool of magic, wild and warm, and it was her and she was it and there was something else here, she could feel it now, she recognized it, that same presence she had felt before.
She reached out, and she touched it. Just barely, she could only brush the edge of something so vast as to be incomprehensible. She knew its name.
Harmony.
Starlight gasped the whole world back into being like she was surfacing for air, and she bent that great power called Harmony into an arc, and she cast that arc into the scroll atop the Map, and the scroll lit with magic, rising into the air in a glowing halo of minty aura.
Only then did the cheers and joyous cries filter into her ears. Starlight came back to herself slowly, reluctantly. She didn't want to leave that presence, so it released her gently back to her own mundane mind.
The magic began to bounce between the Map and the scroll, forming a channel of light as the complex workings of the spell began to seep into reality.
The Elements floated gently back to the floor, and instantly Twilight was by Starlight's side, supporting her in standing. There wasn't time to mention she didn't feel like she needed the help anymore.
A portal snapped open ahead, churning violently, and Starlight realized there wasn't time for much of anything at all. Panic flashed through her as she looked at Twilight, but the alicorn was all smiles.
Gravity reversed for Twilight, Starlight, and Spike. The other Elements watched them rise, waving and cheering and clapping their hooves, and there wasn't any time, it was all happening too fast, she hadn't had a chance to say goodbye!
That was the thought she carried with her, gripped close to her chest, right against her heart. She fell up. She fell in.
Starlight Glimmer stared helplessly from the doorway as her friend was carried off in a cacophony of cheers and claps and joyous stomps. Tears pricked the corners of her eyes, her mind a whirl of confusion. One hoof took a hesitant step back inside, back towards the door. She looked around wildly, desperate for somepony, anypony who cared. There were none at all. She stepped back inside, slammed the door shut behind her. She was all alone.
A cutie mark had taken her only friend.
The memory faded into soft, hazy whiteness.
An alicorn, a unicorn, and a little dragon sat on a cloud, higher than most pegasi bothered to fly, higher than most felt comfortable. The air was thin up here, drawing a satisfying breath required more effort. There were few clouds this far up, the ones around flowed like long wispy rivers. The blue above stretched endlessly on, infinitely.
In the chilly air, they were caressed by the warmth of Celestia’s own sun.
“It's finally almost over.”
“Thank Celestia, I can't wait to go home and sleep in my own bed.”
“It's fading already.”
The pair looked at the unicorn. She was leaning over the edge of the cloud, staring at Cloudsdale far below. The race was due to start soon. The alicorn and her dragon fell silent. She was right. The memories were slipping away like a dream. The harder you clawed for them, the more they drifted away.
“That doesn't seem fair,” The unicorn’s voice cracked, “I made a lot of good memories. Bad ones, too, but enough good that I don't want to just… Forget. You remember every other world you visited, why can't I remember that one?”
“Time paradox.” The dragon responded simply.
Both ponies looked at him now.
“You two really need to read more comics,” He rolled his eyes, “We saw the future, or part of it at least. If we remembered, that would change things. The whole point is to stop screwing up the timeline.”
They were both silent for a moment, digesting that.
“... It's still not fair.”
“Starlight, it's okay,” The alicorn reached out and brushed the unicorn’s hoof. The unicorn snapped the leg back as if burned, and then she blinked, no longer sure why she'd reacted that way. She reciprocated the alicorn’s gentle touch. “We don't forget everything from our dreams, right? The feelings always stick around.”
“I guess I remember that much, at least,” She frowned, brow furrowing in concentration, “Terrifying and difficult and unimaginably fun. I remember some of the ending. My big hero moment. My miracle. I don't think I'll remember it for much longer.”
“Then hold onto that much at least. You made the difference.”
“There's something else, too,” The unicorn paused, hesitating, head hunching forward in preemptive defense, “It's silly, I don't even know if I should mention it.”
“If you remember it, it's worth remembering.” The reassurance was gentle and encouraging.
“For a moment, I felt something else there with me,” She shook her head as if to clear it, “It told me its name. Harmony.”
“You… Spoke to it?”
“No, nothing like that, I just knew it was there, and suddenly I knew its name, and I knew that it was, in fact, a name.”
The alicorn fell into the distant reaches of her own thoughts. The unicorn turned back to watch the race. It was almost over now.
“Well, it's a mystery to me. The connection to the Elements and the Tree is pretty obvious. Maybe they really are alive, like we thought.”
“So what happens now?” The dragon piped up.
“Now I get to see my first Sonic Rainboom, Spike,” The unicorn gave the dragon a pat on the head, then turned to the alicorn, “After that, I guess it's up to her.”
The alicorn smiled, “Let's go see the future together.”
The sky around them exploded in a riot of color, ripples of rainbow light splashing out from the epicenter far below. It was breathtaking, an incomparable sight, a feat pulled from myth and made real. It would make a wonderful memory.
A thunderous crash and a rush of wind lagged shortly behind, sending the small cloud drifting, spinning.
No creature was left to complain about the disturbance.
The alicorn, the unicorn, and the dragon had disappeared without a trace.
Author's Note
Thank you all so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed the adventure. I know it's not perfect, and there will always be questions that we may never know the answer to, but I still hope the journey was satisfying.
I also want to thank the incredible semillion for pre-reading all of this, it wouldn't have been possible without the best confidence booster in the world. Every "YEAAAAHHHH" makes it worth it, and I'm so sorry for my terrible habit of randomly sending you thousands of words to pre-read. It will happen again. The rest of you should check out their work, it's great stuff from top to bottom.
I really enjoyed the process of writing this, and I learned a lot, and certainly have some things I would do different if I could, but it's done. Onto the next.
