My (Brave) Little Toaster

As they walked along the road that would take them back to Pinkie Pie’s house, Applebloom looked at the contraption oddly. It was at that point being balanced somewhat precariously on Pinkie’s head, but miraculously, it didn’t seem in danger of falling off one way or the other.

“Hey, Pinkie…?” Applebloom finally spoke up. “How is that thing not falling off your head? You’re doing your normal skipping and hopping everywhere, and yet it’s still staying up there…”

“Oh, that? That’s just skill! I used to carry rocks on my head all the time when I was a kid. Not quite sure why, now… I guess I had a good reason back then, though!”

It took them a few seconds to realize just what on earth Pinkie was talking about. “Oh,” Sweetie eventually said after the light bulb had come on, “you’re talking about the same thing you mentioned in your cutie mark story. Your rock-farming days.”

“Yup!” Pinkie replied. “I’ve always wanted to go back and see how the family’s doing, but it’s just so far away… Oh and you have a lightbulb floating above your head, you know.”

Sweetie looked up. “No, I don’t…”

“Well, it’s not something you can see, silly.” Pinkie bounded ahead a bit, leaving Sweetie looking at the other two Cutie Mark Crusaders members for even the smallest sliver of understanding. They weren’t being very helpful.

When they reached Pinkie’s house, they were all surprised to see Applejack already in the kitchen, setting out dinner plates.

“How did you beat us here?” Scootaloo asked. “We were goin’ pretty fast.”

“That’s for me ta know and for you ta wonder about,” AJ said with a wink. “Now I want all of you- and yes, that means you too, Pinkie- ta be on yer best behavior tonight. We’re having Rarity and Fluttershy over for dinner tonight.”

“Did those two finally hook up?” Scootaloo piped up. “It’s about darn time!”

Applejack laughed. “No, they’re still just friends, no matter how much pushin’ we do in that direction. They’re both just as stubborn as Ah am, when it comes to these kinds a-things.”

Pinkie skipped over to the counter and slid the toaster off of her head. It landed neatly next to the bread-box. Using her mouth, she lifted the cord up and plugged it in. “Ptooie!” she exclaimed after she let the cord drop from her teeth. “That doesn’t taste like cupcakes at all!”

“Well no duh, Pinkie,” Scootaloo replied. “That’s ‘cause it’s not a cupcake. It’s a power cord.”

Pinkie looked at her oddly. “You’re saying that things that aren’t cupcakes can’t taste like cupcakes? That’s not true at all! Why, just the other night, I was telling AJ that she-“

“Alright now,” Applejack cut in, pressing a hoof up to Pinkie’s mouth, “there’s no need for tha whole world to hear about our bedtime conversations…”

The Crusaders giggled, which only served to fluster Applejack even further. “Ah come on, y’all are too young to be hearin’ about these kinds a-things.”

“No, we’re not!” Scootaloo protested. “We’re almost as old as you two are!”

“Almost, yeah, but not quite. And that’s final.” They were all silent; they all knew better than to protest when Applejack laid down her hoof.

“Much better,” AJ continued with a smile. “Now you three go upstairs and get washed up; Fluttershy an’ Rarity are gonna be here any minute now.” They all saluted her and rushed upstairs.

Once they were out of sight, and presumably out of earshot as well, Applejack turned to Pinkie. “Ah don’t trust that thing,” she said, pointing her hoof at the toaster.

Pinkie cocked her head. “Whatever for? It’s a toaster! It makes delicious, buttery toast!”

“Well technically, it just makes toast. Ya have to put the butter on after the toast comes out, but that’s beside the point… Toasters don’t just usually appear out of nowhere, and especially not in the hooves of a pony like Rainbow Dash.”

“Didn’t you see what happened? It came here riding on the grand coattails of Dashie’s Sonic Rainboom! It was so awesome, like BOOM! Just happened out of nowhere-“

“Ah know, sugarcube,” Applejack interjected, hoping to cut her off before she got too far down her path of craziness, “Ah was there, too. But that still explains nothin’…” She looked over at it warily.

“Oh come on,” Pinkie replied, hopping over to it, “it’s not like it’s going to bite you or anything. Here, watch!” She laid a hoof on top of it and kept it there for a few seconds before taking it off. “See? It’s harmless! It wasn’t even hot or anything.”

“I kinda figured that, Pinkie… We haven’t made anything in it yet.”

“Ooh speaking of! When are we going to inaugurate the first-ever Pinkiejack toaster?”

“Ah was thinkin’ about- wait. What in tarnation did you just call it?”

“It’s my pet name for it. I think it’s called a portmanteau. You know, you take two names and put them together. Well, I’m Pinkie Pie and you’re Applejack, so I took our names and made Pinkiejack out of it.”

Applejack rolled her eyes. “If ya’re gonna call it anything, call it the Applepie toaster. That sounds much better.”

“How is that better? It’s not apple pie at all. It’s a toaster. Can you make toast by putting slices of bread into an apple pie? No! You have to use a toaster. Or Spike’s fire-breath.”

“Speaking of,” Applejack replied, grateful for the opportunity to change the absolutely inane topic, “do ya think we should have invited Twilight or Rainbow Dash, too? I mean, they’re a part of our group just as much as Rarity and Fluttershy are…”

“I doubt either of them would have been able to come, anyways,” Pinkie replied. “Rainbow’s got her date night with Spitfire tonight, and I hear they’ve got reservations at that new Ponytalian restaurant that just opened up a few months ago.”

“Which one? Oh, ya mean that Mare of the Moon place?”

“Yep! That’s the one! My friends Vinyl and Derpy went there last weekend, and they said it was absolutely incredible. I’d love to go there sometime soon.” She leaned in near Applejack. “Wouldn’t you?”

“Not really,” Applejack replied. “Places like that are much too up-tight and fancy for me. Ah enjoy just eating at the house.” Seeing Pinkie’s rapidly-deflating demeanor, she quickly added, “But that doesn’t mean we won’t ever go. Ah just haven’t decided yet when.”

Pinkie popped back into her regular mode. “Yay!” she exclaimed, throwing her hooves around Applejack’s neck and kissing her right on the mouth. Normally, AJ would have tried to resist a little bit, but this time she felt herself enjoying it right away, and she returned the kiss.

“Oh my…” came a tiny voice from over by the door. “Um, I’m so sorry if we’re interrupting something…”

Applejack broke away quickly. “Oh… Fluttershy! Ah wasn’t expectin’ you and Rarity so early…”

“Oh, well, actually it’s just me for now… Rarity had to finish up a dress for Vinyl Scratch, so she told me to go on ahead and she’ll be there in a bit.”

“Wait. Seriously?”

Fluttershy looked at Pinkie. “Yes, I am serious… She won’t be here ‘til later-“

“No, I don’t mean that. Vinyl’s going to wear a dress? Since when does Ponyville’s greatest-ever DJ wear dresses?”

“It’s a special occasion… It appears that she and Ditzy Doo had an excellent time on their date to Mare in the Moon, and well… Derpy had made a comment that she’d like to see Vinyl in a dress, so she decided to do it… It looks rather elegant.”

Applejack smiled. “That’s good to hear. Ah always like to see ponies getting out of their comfort zones.”

“Hey, Fluttershy! We got a new toaster!” Pinkie pointed to the toaster after bringing that topic up out of nowhere. “You want some toast?”

“Um, that sounds lovely, but… there’s nothing there.”

Pinkie looked over at the spot where the toaster had been. Sure enough, it was no longer in that spot.

“What the hay?” Applejack asked, searching for it. “Did Applebloom an’ them get it while we weren’t looking?”

“Maybe… Are they upstairs?” AJ nodded, and Fluttershy started up the stairs to ask them.

“Let’s keep lookin’ down here,” Applejack suggested. Pinkie nodded resolutely, and they began their search of the kitchen.

High above them, perched on the top of the dishes cabinet, the toaster sat, angled to look like it was looking down at them. As it did so, a pair of eyes opened up on its side and stared down at the two ponies.

“Where… am I?”