My (Brave) Little Toaster

Fluttershy walked up the stairs to the top floor of Applejack’s apartment. She treaded lightly, trying not to make too much noise. This was equally for the ponies downstairs, as the ones upstairs.

“I wonder how they could have gotten past us…” she whispered aloud to no one in particular, as she continued on. “I mean, yeah, we were pretty deep in conversation, but I don’t think we could have missed them walking out with a whole toaster… Hmm, I wonder what toast made by Applejack would taste like. Maybe she’d put apple butter on it; that would be delicious…”

As she reached the top of the stairs, she heard Sweetie talking from the bathroom: “See? I told you it’d be easy to get it!”

“Yeah, yeah…” Scootaloo muttered. “Now what do we do with it, is the question.”

“I think you’re supposed to put something in it,” Sweetie replied.

“Or put it in something!” exclaimed Applebloom.

“That makes no sense at all,” Scootaloo replied. “It’s much too big to go inside something.”

Fluttershy, at that point, had reached the bathroom door. She knocked on it gently. “Um, are you… almost done in there?”

“Oh!” Scootaloo exclaimed. “Sorry, Fluttershy! We’ll be out in a second.” Fluttershy stepped back, waiting to catch them red-handed with the toaster. She could hear them talking indistinctly as she waited. A few moments later, the door opened a second later, and Scootaloo stepped out, her two friends flanking her. Balanced on Scootaloo’s hooves was-

“You guys have seriously never seen a Ponystation Portable before?” she was saying in disbelief. “How in the world could that be?”

“Video gaming isn’t really all that high on my list of things to occupy my time with,” Sweetie replied as they passed Fluttershy. “I’d much rather work on things with Rarity- when we’re not butting heads every few minutes that is…”

As Fluttershy stepped into the bathroom, she heard Scootaloo say, “You’re just jealous that Rainbow Dash got this for me, and not for you. That’s why I’ll treasure this forever!” Fluttershy then closed the door, as she’d suddenly realized that her unintentional little white lie, hadn’t been a lie after all.

Turns out, she really did have to use the little mare’s room.

While all this was going on, Applejack and Pinkie Pie were downstairs searching for the toaster. “Ah’m still convinced that them Crusaders took it,” AJ was saying. “Ah don’t believe for a single second that a toaster could be alive.”

“And just why not?” Pinkie demanded. “What is so far-fetched about a living toaster?”

“Everythin’!” Applejack exclaimed in response. “A toaster is nothin’ more than a big ol’ pile of mechanics and other confusin’ stuff. Ah swear, Pinkie, this might be your craziest idea yet.”

“Even crazier than my dream last week about that living tombstone?”

Applejack just shook her head in resignation. Pinkie hadn’t stopped talking about that dream ever since she’d had it. It made no sense whatsoever: a tombstone that walked around blaring loud and discordant music from some kind of speaker system that was hooked up to its backside.

She didn’t want to make sense of it, neither was she going to try. To her, it was just another Pinkie-ism that she’d just have to learn to deal with.

“All dreams aside, we’re gonna be in some serious trouble if we can’t find that darn toaster!”

Pinkie started opening up the cupboards looking for it. “Here, toaster! Come here!” she cooed in a soft voice.

“It’s not a cat,” Applejack replied. Winona popped her head up from outside the open windowsill. “Ah wasn’t talkin’ to you, Winona. Dinner’ll be in about an hour, by the way.” Winona nodded her head and hopped down off the stack of crates that Big Macintosh had placed there to allow Winona to get in through the kitchen window whenever it was open, which more often than not it was.

Pinkie continued her search of the cabinets, still keeping on her calling for the toaster in that voice. Applejack, at one point, just started ignoring her, choosing instead to keep concentration on her own search for the missing appliance.

“What on earth are you two doing?” Scootaloo said as she bounded down the stairs. Applebloom trotted behind her, with Sweetie bringing up the rear.

“I gotta say, this is actually really fun!” Sweetie was saying as she played Scootaloo’s Ponystation Portable. “I mean, for a game called Peace Trotter, it’s pretty violent, but at the same time… I like it!”

“Told you ya would!” Scoots said with a grin, before turning back to Applejack. “But seriously, what are you and Pinkie doing?”

“We’re lookin’ fer that toaster,” AJ replied, turning to the Crusaders. “Speakin’ of which, did one of ya sneak it out while we weren’t lookin’?”

“Nope!” Applebloom replied. “We just went straight upstairs, like ya’d said.”

Applejack tried her best to imitate Fluttershy’s infamous Stare on them. It never worked as effectively when AJ tried it as it did when Fluttershy did, but it didn’t stop her nonetheless. “Are ya sure? Yer tellin’ me the truth, right?”

“We promise!” Sweetie replied. “We don’t even know how to work that thing; why in the world would we take it?”

“Ah suppose ya have a point…” Applejack stopped trying to use the Stare, as it obviously didn’t work. It didn’t really have a reason to be used, either; she believed her little sister and her friends. If they said they didn’t take the toaster, then they didn’t take it.

“She just tried the Stare again, didn’t she?” Pinkie asked from right behind Applejack. AJ jumped a little bit; she hadn’t felt Pinkie approach at all.

Scootaloo nodded with a grin, and Pinkie started laughing hysterically. “She wants so badly to be able to get it right, but she’s never been able to…!”

“Someday…” Applejack muttered as she turned to walk upstairs. “Y’all keep yerselves company down here; Ah’m gonna go see what’s takin’ Fluttershy so long…”

As Applejack walked up the stairs, Pinkie turned to the Crusaders. “Okay, so you don’t have to lie to me like you do with Applejack. You can tell me where you hid the toaster; I Pinkie Promise that I won’t get mad.”

“We’re tellin’ the truth!” Applebloom replied. “We really didn’t take it!”

“Yeah, we were upstairs the whole time,” Scootaloo added. She reached over to Sweetie, as though she was going to try to take the PSP away from her, but Sweetie deftly batted her hoof away without missing a beat in the game. “See? Sweetie absolutely can’t be pulled away from it- well, yeah, she kinda started playing it after Fluttershy came and got us out of the bathroom, but still… The point stands: we didn’t do it.”

“Oh…” Pinkie hopped over to the countertop again. “And here, I was about to congratulate you three on being such good ninjas…”

“Hey!” Sweetie exclaimed suddenly, though she didn’t take her eyes off the screen. “Maybe that’s what could earn us our cutie marks. We could try being ninjas!”

“That’s not a good idea,” Pinkie replied in all seriousness. “I had a friend in filly’s school who tried that, and surprisingly, it actually worked. Problem was, as you probably know, ninjas are best known for not being seen, so… well, she got her cutie mark alright, but no one could tell what it was, ‘cause it was invisible. She’s gotta explain to everypony that asks, how she’s not a fully-grown blank flank.”

Scootaloo shuddered a bit. “That would suck big time… You’re right, Pinkie Pie, let’s not try that.”

Pinkie giggled a bit as she turned away from them. Of course, that story she’d just told was a complete and total fabrication, but they’d swallowed it whole so easily… She just couldn’t bear to tell them of her good-natured deception.

A few minutes later, Applejack and Fluttershy came down from upstairs. “Ya’ve gotta be kiddin’ me…” Applejack was saying. “There’s no way one pony could eat that much…”

“I’m being serious,” Fluttershy replied. “Rainbow Dash’s appetite is pretty much insatiable…”

“If that’s really the case, then why doesn’t she try out for the Cloudsdale Heavy Eaters Tournament next month? That seems perfectly up her alley.”

Suddenly, a familiar voice sounded from the door. “I will tell you why,” Rarity said as she stepped inside. “She has actually thought about doing that, but she is simply afraid that she will show up her competitors too much.” At Pinkie’s shocked look, Rarity continued: “What? Even Rainbow Dash has some reservations when it comes to going all-out for something like that.”

Fluttershy smiled at Rarity, and Rarity smiled right back. “Ah, I am glad to see you took my advice, darling. Has the dinner party started yet?”

“Not yet,” Applejack replied. “Pinkie got a new toaster today, but it’s seemed to have skipped town… We’re lookin’ for it as we speak.”

“Do you mean that silver box that is sitting on the counter-top behind you?”

Applejack turned around, and was forced to bite off a good-natured sarcastic response. Sure enough, the toaster was sitting there on the counter, like it had never even been moved to begin with.

“What in tarnation?” AJ asked. “That was not there just a second ago…”

“Of course not!” Pinkie responded. “It jumped down from on top of the cabinets a few minutes ago.”

“On top of the cabinet, you say?” Rarity responded. “How on earth did it get up there? And does that mean you knew where it was, the whole time?”

“Not the whole time, silly Rarity! I found it right before AJ and Fluttershy came back from spending so long in the bathroom upstairs, just a minute ago.” Rarity flashed Fluttershy a sly look, and Fluttershy sent back a non-verbal message indicating that she’d explain later.

“Um, Applejack…” Sweetie said, looking up from her game for the first time in quite awhile. “That toaster… has eyes.”

“What are you talkin’ about?” AJ turned again. Sure enough, the eyes were visible, as was a small mouth.

“I’m sorry…” it said in a small, childlike voice. “Did I scare you?”

Applejack promptly passed out on the floor, while Pinkie Pie jumped up and down in glee. “See?” she shouted to the room. “I told you! I told you it was alive!”