Luna just had time to finish dinner before night fell. She met with Celestia briefly to raise the moon as Celestia lowered the sun, and thankfully the topic of sex didn't come up. Just as well, Luna thought, as she still had more questions than answers.

With the process complete, she opted to teleport directly to her destination and get the answers she needed. With a flash, she appeared in front of the entrance to Ponyville's premiere spa. She walked in, and was quickly greeted by two mares, one pink and the other light blue. Presumably Aloe and Lotus, Luna thought.

Looking up, Aloe greeted her excitedly, "Welcome to our spa, Princess! It's after hours, but for you, anything! Can I interest you in a mud bath, hooficure, or...?"

Luna felt silly as she prepared her reply. Was Twilight playing a trick on her? "I would like to visit your...bar?"

Aloe blinked, exchanging a cryptic look with Lotus. Grinning widely, she replied, "Oh! Yes! Right down that hall there!"

Luna raised an eyebrow at the giddy response, but began walking down the hall.

The other pony, Lotus, called after her, "Princess! If you'd like to change, just use the door marked 'special services'!"

Luna was confused at this. Change? I'm just wearing my regalia, and it's not as if I'm carrying other clothes... Still, it might be nice to freshen up in front of a mirror.

At the end of the hall she found a nondescript heavy iron door and a wooden door marked 'special services'. She entered the latter and found that, surprisingly, instead of the changing room she expected, there was a small, bare room. On her right, a powder blue unicorn sat behind a card table, idly flipping through a magazine. A simple floor-length mirror hung on Luna's left, with another heavy iron door on the far wall. A lavender hat and cape, both decorated with stars, hung on a peg behind the unicorn.

Without looking up from her magazine, the unicorn asked in a bored tone, "species and gender?"

Luna, confused that she should have to ask, replies, "Alicorn, female."

The unicorn smirked and replied, "You know that costs extra, right? And you won't be able to use any Alicorn powers..."

Luna was taken aback. How could this little unicorn inhibit her powers? She stood tall, towering over the unicorn, and asked, "And why would that be, subject?"

The unicorn looked up for the first time, and paled under her coat when she saw she was addressing the Princess of the Night. Sputtering, she reeled back. In her mind, she was torn between reverence and bravado.

"The Great and P--- Trixie means--- I mean I mean--- I didn't know it was you!"

Luna smiled. "It is okay, ...Trixie, was it? But please explain, why would you charge extra for an Alicorn to enter? And why do you think my 'Alicorn powers' wouldn't work?"

Trixie was confused. Luna was here, but she didn't know how it worked? She replied carefully, "Trixie was asking what species and gender you would like to be, not the one you are now..."

Luna replied simply, "Oh." Then, she thought about it. "OH!" She considered the ramifications, smiling widely. "Oooooooh! Very nice. Well, for the moment, I will remain as-is, thank you."

A few seconds passed awkwardly, and Luna continued, "So, where do I....?"

"Right through there," Trixie replied, motioning to the heavy iron door.

Luna trotted up to it and opened it with her magic. Inside was a scene she was wholly unprepared for. The sight hit her first. Writhing heaps of pastel ponies rutting in every way imaginable. Every manner of sexual outfit, gadget, and toy being thrust every which way. The sound hit her next, sounds of slapping, grunting, moaning. Sounds of hushed pillow talk, snippets of absolutely filthy language, words of encouragement, praise, satisfaction, and need. The heat hits Luna next, wafting waves of heat and humidity. The odor was intense -- a mixture of pony excretions, latex, and lubricant.

In short, a writhing mass of insensate pony fucking, an orgy as grand as any held in a thousand years.

Luna nodded slightly. "Nice. Quaint, but nice."

Oh who am I kidding?

Her grin widened and she trotted a bit in place before bursting with glee, her eyes growing to the size of dinner plates. Regal tears streamed down her cheeks as she mouthed in hushed tones, "Yesssssss!!"

In a flash, she transmuted her body into a vapor and dived into the seething mass. She slipped among mares and stallions, giddily stopping to observe the sights as she went. A massive magenta stallion with three smiling sunflowers on his flank riding a lithe red mare with a green half apple for a cutie mark. A large griffon angrily grinding against a giggling pink pony. A massive minotaur hogtied on a mattress being swatted on the rump by a pale yellow pegasus clad in a tight leather corset with a riding crop in her teeth.

Luna fully materialized in the middle of it all and began to gawk upward at two pegasus stallions clad in Wonderbolt gear frantically rutting in mid-air.

A voice from across the room shook her out of her reverie. "Luna! Over here!"

Luna looked up. Set aside from the orgy against the far wall was a bar and several dining tables she had somehow not noticed. A clear line separated the orgy from what Luna guessed was the rest area. Sitting at one of the tables was Twilight Sparkle, sipping an elaborate fruity drink through a crazy straw. Twilight waved and spoke up again over the din of the orgy, "Come on over!"

Luna went to step forward, but felt something tugging at her leg.

Looking down, she saw a small, cute bunny, with one minor caveat: he had been magically granted a massive, stallion-sized cock. Luna gawked; it was twice as long as the bunny's height, throbbingly erect, with two massive balls that rested on the ground. Looking into Luna's eyes, he waggled his eyebrows suggestively and motioned to his massive member, as though she might otherwise miss it.

Stunned, her only thought was, How does he even move with that thing?

Before she could reply, the nearby pastel yellow pony stamped her hoof and spit out her riding crop to admonish the bunny. "Now Angel, dear, please don't harass the princess. I'm sure you can find somepony else."

Luna stared in slack-jawed amazement as the bunny grimaced and looked around, noticing an orange-maned yellow mare against the far wall lying on her back, grinning, and making eye contact with the little bunny. Excitedly, and with great effort, he hoisted his massive unit into a little bunny-scale wheel-barrow that had been sitting nearby. Grabbing the handles, he gleefully wheeled over to the welcoming pony. Before Luna could comment, Twilight piped up again, "Just leave him be and come have a drink!"

Luna blinked, and trotted over to Twilight's table. Taking a seat, she opened her mouth, but was overwhelmed by the sheer number of questions swirling in her mind and the din of the orgy behind her.

Seeing her hesitation, Twilight began. "So, uhhh, are you...okay? With all of this? I mean, the history books say you were the goddess of love, and there are stories that you used to be open with sex stuff, but I was worried you might still freak out. No offense! It's just that...I mean...your sister is just so..."

Luna smiled warmly. "Hopelessly repressed?"

Twilight's eyes widened for a moment at hearing her mentor talked about so plainly. Looking down, she merely nodded.

Luna continued gently, "Twilight, look at me. It's okay. I know my sister has problems where matters of sex are concerned, but I share none of them with her. I think all this"--Luna waved a hoof at the jubilee of debauchery behind her--"is a very nice little soiree, and I--"

"Little soiree?!", Twilight cried, "I got almost all of Ponyville here and the owners are running an open bar! This is probably one of the biggest orgies in Equestria!"

"Oh."

"How could this possibly be even wilder? Angel Bunny has a giant horse cock!"

"Just the one?--No, I mean, nevermind that! It's okay, Twilight. I didn't mean anything by it. I'm sorry. But you have to explain, how can this be? Celestia believes that sex is vanished from the land, and she had me convinced of it, too."

Twilight took a deep breath and opened her mouth to speak, hesitated for a moment. "It's...complicated. Any we're really not 100% sure on all the details."

"Well then, tell me what you do know."

"Right...well, I guess I should start with the obvious. Sexuality is Equestia is actually very open."

Luna rolled her eyes slightly and nodded slowly. "Yes, I gathered that."

"Right! Well, according to the history books, your...ummm...a thousand years ago...your..." Twilight looked down at the table.

Luna was deadpan. "My transformation into a vicious demon bent on overthrowing my sister?"

"Yes...that. That happened in the Everfree Forest, right?"

"Well, it wasn't called that, and it wasn't even a forest then, but yes. What does this have to do with pony sex?"

"Well, after it happened, ponies would have pilgrimages to the castle to pay their respects, and those that did would...well...they'd be more...able to...well--"

"Twilight, just spit it out! How can you be so coy about this? We're attending an orgy that you yourself put together!"

"Yes, of course, I'm sorry. It's just...you're a princess. I've been hiding all this stuff from Princess Celestia since I was a filly...we all have. It's just weird, is all."

Luna let out a long sigh. "I'm sorry about Tia, but you have to understand that we're basically polar opposites when it comes to sex."

"Really? I mean I know you're supposed to be the goddess of the night and that--"

"Twilight, stop. I'll prove it. You asked how this party could be wilder? Well..." Luna leaned in and whispered into Twilight's ear.

Luna only spoke a few sentences. Twilight's eyes went wide, her pupils shrank to pinpricks, she bit her bottom lip almost hard enough to draw blood, her breath became ragged, and her tail began swishing back and forth of its own volition.

Luna drew back, adding, "and that's just what I'd do with the snack table!"

Twilight began to take in air in great gulps. Catching her breath, she replied simply, "Wow."

"So, yes, I'm familiar with sex."

"Yes."

Luna waited patiently for a few moments. "Well?"

"Huh?"

"Ponies visiting Everfree, getting turned on, etc.?"

"Oh! Right!" Twilight shook away the images Luna had placed in her mind. "Right, so ponies would visit Everfree and become aroused, so naturally it became a popular trade route. That's how ponies had sex for most of the last thousand years, until Granny Smith changed everything."

"Granny...Smith?"

"Yes, she helped found Ponyville when she discovered Zap Apples!"

"Zap...apples?"

"Yes, they grow in the Everfree, and can only be harvested at special times. When timberwolves howl and blue sparks change the leaves and crows fly in an apple shape and there's a meteor shower!" Twilight beamed proudly at her encyclopedic knowledge.

"Riiiiight. So everypony eats these electric meteor timberwolf crow apples to get laid?"

"No, that would be silly. You have to turn them into jam first!" Twilight beamed.

Luna remained silent, her face deadpan, her eyes narrowed.

"You don't believe me?" Twilight asked, looking dejected.

"Well--"

"Wait, just try some! We export it all over Equestria!" Twilight levitated a piece of toast from the bar and slathered on a rainbow dollop of goop from a small jar on the table. She levitated it up to Luna. Luna took it in her own magic and took a small bite. Her eyes opened in realization as she placed the flavor--and magic--in the jam.

In a flourish, she leapt out of the seat, grabbed Twilight under her wing, and bellowed, "We go!" In a flash, Luna teleported the pair to the edge of the Everfree Forest.

Twilight meandered a bit off kilter for a moment, getting her bearings after the surprise teleport. Luna giddily trotted toward the forest. "I get it now! I felt this strange magic here when you rescued me from the Nightmare, but now I understand it!"

Twilight shook her head and tried to orient herself. "Buh?"

"The magic of the Everfree and your zap apples, it's me! The magic I released when Celestia banished me."

Twilight, having finally realized where she was and what was happening, replied concernedly, "Yes, and I'm sure she was heartbroken when--"

"No, I don't care about that, silly, it's the magic that matters! That's how ponies could keep having sex, all the magic I was holding when she zapped me with the rainbow all poured out here!"

"Huh? Why would you trying to make the night last forever do that?"

"Oh, Twilight, when Nightmare Moon said 'the night shall last forever', do you think that all she was after was literally keeping it dark? That I just wanted ponies to love the stars or something?"

"Well, ummm, yes? I mean, Princess Celestia said--"

"Ahhhhhhh, I get it. No, Twilight, Nightmare Moon was obsessed with---well, I was obsessed with---making SEX last forever! An eternal orgy! I mean, of course it doesn't make sense, there's more to life than that, but I was rebelling against Celestia's prudishness and---wait, does everypony think that Nightmare Moon just really liked stars?"

Twilight blushed. The official history did seem far fetched now that somepony mentioned it. "Yes? Well, I mean, it's in all the history books."

"Ha! Oh Tia, when will you lighten up? Oh, that reminds me, Tia said she tried to help ponies have sex right after I was banished...why didn't she find out about this? I'm sure she did a full study..."

Twilight thought for a moment. "Hmmmm....I really couldn't say except...well...uhmmmm..."

"Twilight, I thought we agreed, no more awkwardness between us about this."

"Right, well, I was just thinking...could you fuck while Celestia was taking notes about you on a clipboard?"

Luna grinned. "Ha! I guess not. I like you, Twilight. So, the other big mystery: if everypony's been having sex just fine all along, what has Celestia been doing in that underground pit of hers?"

"Well, as part of my job, I'm actually entrusted by the nobility and court of Equestria to...well...keep Princess Celestia in the dark about all this. So I just get a mare I trust to go down there with her, and she just gets drunk and passes out, wakes up thinking she's deflowered the poor mare, then erases both their memories. Because of the memory wipe, it can even be the same mare over and over, so since I got the job, the mare is usually Dash or Pinkie."

"So what should I tell Celestia? She has a plan to re-introduce sex to Equestria!"

"I've thought a lot about that...actually, every major scholar for the last thousand years has thought a lot about that! Telling Celestia about sex is an entire branch of philosophy. It's called Revelology, the science of--"

"The science of extracting the stick from my sister's rear?! Getting my sister to lighten up is something you can major in at college now? HA!"

Twilight frowned at her mentor being talked down to, but couldn't disagree with the assessment. "Yes, well, you must know I love Celestia, and appreciate all that she's done for my as my mentor, but...you're right. She's repressed to the point of being...bonkers!"

Twilight took a moment to compose herself, and looked into the distance with a resolute expression. "In fact, it is my belief, and the prevailing belief in the Revelological Society, that we need to introduce sex to Celestia!"

Luna's eyes widened. "Twilight, I appreciate your determination, but it's impossible! I tried for centuries! How do you propose to do it?"

Twilight adopted a cocky grin and spoke a phrase she had rehearsed many times. "Three words: Magic. Of. Friendship."

"I'm in."

Author's Note

Before you ask, the zap apple jam they give kids in the episode is fake.