“And since Anon decided to pull a disappearing act, Spitfire made me come and clean up the mess!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed, still feeling the burn of secondhand shame. "Anon’s bladder has got to be the size of a basketball!”

Pinkie Pie's muffled laughter failed to go unnoticed through the room, her hooves covering her mouth as she tried to stifle her amusement at Rainbow Dash's story.

"It's not funny, Pinkie!" Rainbow snapped.

Pinkie Pie's laughter bubbled over, her eyes watering. "Oh, come on, Dashie," She giggled, "You've gotta admit it's a little bit funny."

“Where did you end up finding him?” Twilight asked, wondering where Anon could possibly have hidden so well in such a place.

“I found him near the top of the mountain edge. Little sucker got stuck trying to climb down. He could have gotten himself killed for Celestia’s sake!” Rainbow Dash slumped back in her seat with a disgruntled whinny. "Anyways, how did the green demon screw up your week, Applejack?" She asked, looking to shift the focus on her.

***

”Apples! Get your fresh and delicious apples here!”

Anon almost wanted to cry from the boredom he felt as he stood in front of Applejack’s stall. When Applejack told him they were going to do work today, he thought she meant by working on the farm. Not standing around and trying to sell fruit to passersby. He also felt like Vince Offer from being made to wear an apron.

"Do you really have to scream to the world that you’re selling apples?” Anon complained. “I knew from my first week here that you sold apples. So I’m dead sure everyone else in town does, too."

Applejack looked at him with a bemused smile. “How do you think we get our customers, city slicker? By whispering sweet nothings to the wind?"

“We get our customers by putting up a sign stating we’re open. That’s how,” Anon replied dryly, trying to tug at the uncomfortable apron strings.

“Well, you never know who might be new to Ponyville or just passing through. We’ve got to make sure everypony knows where to get the best apples in town!”

“Your whole entire family is literally the sole producer of the apples in Equestria!”

“And that’s exactly why we need to stand out, friend’!” Applejack winked, her enthusiasm unflagging even under the blazing sun. “Besides, there’s more to it than just hollerin’ to the pony folk. It helps if you also greet every pony that passes by with a smile and a little chit chat.”

Anon blew out a raspberry. He should have known better than to try and talk sense into the hillbilly. Applejack had a way of making everything sound like an adventure, but this was pushing it.

“Can I go wait at Twilight’s or something? I’m pretty sure I’d be more useful there. Maybe I could, I dunno… organize her bookshelves or something,” Anon suggested, his eyes drifting towards the castle.

Applejack wasn’t letting him go that easily. “Maybe if you put some effort into the work, you wouldn’t be bored. Plus, I’m sure Twilight’s got enough books to organize without you messing up her system. Now try putting on a nice and welcoming face, okay?”

Anon put on his best, I don’t want to be here, but I’m forced against my will, smile. Applejack nodded approvingly and went back to announcing how juicy and fresh the apples were. Soon as she did, Anon dropped his smile and went back to looking bored. Listening to AJ’s constant yammering about apples was starting to give him a headache. As if on instinct, Anon picked up an apple and chucked it straight at the back of her head.

Applejack whipped around, looking extremely vexed.

Anon immediately pretended to look shocked. “Oh, no!” He spoke out in an Irish accent, thinking it would make him sound more innocent. When really, it was only assuring AJ that he threw the apple. “Did you not see them? It looked to be an angry customer! You must have sold them some rotten apples or somethin’!” He pointed down the street. “The terrorist ran that way! It was a run-by fruiting!”

Applejack’s expression didn’t change. “Anon, trust me when I tell you: the more you lie, the deeper the hole you’re gonna dig yourself in.” She proceeded to grab him by his apron strings and pulled him to her side. “I’m gonna show ya just how easy it is to be nice and have it pay off. See that old mare coming down the street? Watch this."

Anon sat down as the old mare drew closer. No doubt this was going to crank up the boredom as the old mare told stories of her cats.

“Howdy, ma’am!" Applejack greeted the old mare. "Does your mother know if her daughter be getting her much needed nutrition?”

“I should think so since she can’t do a thing without me,” the old mare replied tiredly, gesturing to an old mare in a wheelchair that escaped Applejack’s line of sight.

Applejack and Anon both shared the same reaction when they laid eyes upon the elder mare. Their jaws dropped and eyes widened. She was indeed the most shrivelled up and ancient pony they had ever seen. Her fur was a faded black, her body so small and thin, one could easily count her ribs, and her eyes were clouded with the weight of the majority of a century.

“What? What did she say?” The elder mare screeched in an unbelievably deep and raspy voice. It made Anon convinced that cigarettes could definitely be bought and sold in Equestria.

“Nothing, ma!” The old mare practically shouted in her mother’s ear.

“What are they selling?” her mother demanded.

“Apples!!”

“What!?”

“THEY’RE SELLING APPLES!”

“Apples?”

“YES!”

“Why are you buying apples? We don’t have any teeth!”

“I’M NOT BUYING APPLES!” The old mare screamed, continuing down the road with her raisin of a mother.

“What? What did you say!?”

“Nothing, ma!”

“You just can’t wait for me to die, can you!?”

Applejack pulled her hat over her face in shame while Anon spent the next ten minutes rolling and laughing on the street. He laughed so hard he could hardly breathe, and his stomach ached.

“Alright, Anon," Applejack said defeatedly. "You had your laugh. Now please get up and at least try to act professional.”

“What?” Anon replied, his voice an imitation of the elder mare. “What did you say?!”

The fifth day of Anon’s time with Applejack and her family was coming to a close. Anon sat at the dinner table with Applejack, Big Mac, Granny Smith and Apple Bloom. The dinner served up was veggie tacos and hay fries. Everyone was nearly finished with their meal except for Anon. He already forced himself to try the hay fries, which turned out to be rather decent, but one bite of the veggie taco made him want to puke.

Applejack noticed his lack of enthusiasm for the taco and mentally braced herself for the fight that was about to ensue. "Is everything okay with your food, hon?" she asked him, trying to sound concerned rather than accusatory.

Anon took a sip of his cider, using the pause to muster up a lie. "It's all great, Applejack. Just really full from those hay fries," he replied, sounding as nonchalant as possible.

“That a fact?” Applejack drawled, raising an eyebrow as she scrutinized Anon’s plate. The barely-eaten taco lay there, the colorful veggies looking as vibrant as ever. “Just find it a lil’ funny since you were complaining not twenty minutes ago about how hungry you were.”

Anon knew this little girl’s absolute fantasy land found him ill-mannered and disrespectful, but tonight he was feeling stand-offish. He was indeed still hungry, especially after AJ had him doing farmwork all day since the crack of dawn. He really didn’t appreciate being literally dragged out of bed by Apple Bloom; the filly was a lot stronger than she looked. And while the breakfast served was delicious pancakes, he didn’t get the time to really savor them as he was expected to be outside and working before the syrup could cool.

Anon wasn’t a stranger to hard work back in his world. His mother had always said he was guilty of every sin but sloth. Now, as a foal, everything was so much more intense. What made it worse was Applejack was by his side the entire time. While he appreciated her help, he did not in fact appreciate the lectures of friendship and honesty. Anon honestly believed if honesty was a pony, AJ would make out with it right in front of Rainbow Dash.

Feeling his blood coming to a boil, Anon took another sip of his drink; he didn’t trust his mouth right now. He had to admit, the Apple family had been nothing but welcoming and kind, but the constant reminders of his new limitations were starting to get to him. He was too tired for any more of this day.

“I think I’m gonna go turn in early,” Anon said, pushing his plate away.

He stood up to hop down from his chair, but Granny Smith stopped him. “Hold on, young’un,” she said firmly. “We ain’t the type of family to just waste good food like that.”

Anon froze, looking down on the floor, feeling the weight of everyone’s gaze on him. Let it go, old timer, Anon bitterly thought. You should have died years ago.

“Granny, please. I have this under control,” Applejack interjected, placing a comforting hoof on her grandma’s foreleg. She turned back to Anon. “Look, I know it’s a bit of an adjustment, but we gotta eat to keep up our strength for tomorrow’s chores. Just take a few bites now so you don’t end up feeling hungry in the middle of the night.”

Anon closed his eyes before letting out a deep sigh. He kept his focus on the floor as he replied, “I don’t want to eat the damn veggie taco, alright?” The words slipped out before he could stop them.

The room fell into a tense silence. Applejack’s expression shifted from concern to disappointment, while Granny’s tightened into a stern look. With his frustration now loosened, Anon lifted his head back up to them.

“Now, young colt, you watch your language at my dinner table,” Granny warned.

“Granny!” Applejack whispered urgently. “I said I got this!”

Ignoring Granny’s glare, Applejack turned back to Anon. “Alright, you don’t have to eat it. It’s not like it’ll go to waste. Perhaps you’d like a sandwich before bed?”

“You mean an idiot sandwich?” Apple Bloom remarked, giggling into her hoof.

Any other day Anon would have laughed proudly seeing how his reference from home was traveling. But tonight, he couldn’t be any less interested. He was officially done with it all.

“Shut up, Apple Bloom!” Anon snapped.

Apple Bloom’s giggling abruptly stopped. She narrowed her eyes at Anon. “Make me!”

Big Mac looked from AJ, to Apple Bloom, then at Anon. This colt was proving to be as stubborn as AJ. He figured he should probably step in and take Anon out the room, maybe have some guy talk, but AJ had already declared this was her rodeo. He tried it before, but all he got in return was a shot to the face. Buck it, he thought to himself as he reached over and took Anon’s taco. He paid for his ticket. May as well watch the show.

“Alright, that’s enough!” she said firmly, throwing her hooves out between Anon and Apple Bloom. “It’s been a long day for everypony, so let’s not start throwing insults around like they’re going out of style. Apple Bloom, go finish your homework. Anon, make sure you wash up before bed. Granny, I’ll take care of the dishes. Big Mac, you, uh…”

Big Mac nodded in understanding and left the room along with the rest of the family.

But Anon was far beyond reasoning now. He actually wanted a fight and he didn't care with who. “Quit telling me what to do!”

“There ain’t any need for such a bad attitude,” Applejack stated, her expression darkening.

Anon’s eyes met hers, and the defiance was clear. “Whatcha gonna do about it? Tell your mom? Oh, wait!”

Applejack’s eyes bulged, and the room grew colder than a winter's gale. Her voice was low, a warning rumble like distant thunder. "Anon, I know you just didn’t go there.”

“Oh, I went there alright! I went there, checked into a hotel, took pictures, came back, and made a neat little scrapbook! I even got you a souvenir! Here it is!” Anon raised his hoof up at her, completely forgetting he didn’t have fingers anymore. “Oh wait…”

“I ain’t waiting on nothing!” Applejack snarled, advancing on Anon, her hooves stomping on each step.

“Bring it!” Anon challenged, raising his hooves showing he was ready for a fight.

Applejack didn’t bat an eye. She kept coming towards him with a fire in her eyes.

Oh, crap! She’s actually bringing it! Anon thought in a panic. Help me Lord! Help me Johnny Appleseed! Help me Steve Jobs!

***

I’m mighty ashamed of how I lost my temper like that. Just as soon as he spoke about my mother, all I saw was red.”

Applejack wasn’t looking at any of her friends around the table as she told the story of what happened that night. They couldn’t look at her either. Not out of anger or disappointment, but because they understood Applejack was the one who drew the short straw. Anon had finally released all the frustration he’d been holding in, and she had gotten the brunt of it.

Twilight had to ask, “You didn’t actually… hit him, did you?”

“No, but I wanted to. Celestia help me, I wanted to give him a good thrashing,” Applejack admitted, her face flushing with the memory. “He ran out of the house before I got close enough to even touch him.”

“You can’t be feeling guilty for wanting to strangle the colt,” Rainbow Dash replied. “I’ve felt like that more times than I can count when he was with me.”

“Well, the fact is, you didn’t, and that’s what counts, AJ,” Twilight offered, trying to ease AJ’s guilt.

Rainbow Dash shot her a look that clearly said, "Way to miss the point, nerd."

“You said Anon ran out of the house,” Fluttershy spoke up, her voice barely above a whisper. “Did he come back?”

“Of course he came back, Fluttershy!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed happily, trying to inject some positive energy into the conversation. ”He spent the next week with me after all!”

Applejack shook her head. “He didn’t come back that night. Took me awhile to find him before I found him sleeping in the CMC’s clubhouse. Went back home, came back with a blanket and some sandwiches. Next morning he came back. I wanted to have us apologize to each other, but he said he would much prefer it if we pretended last night never happened.”

“And you just let him have his way like that?” Rainbow asked, appalled.

Applejack nodded. “The colt came up to me with bloodshot eyes. It was obvious he’d been crying, so I wasn’t pushing for Round 2. Looked like he needed more time to cool off, and I figured I did too. So, we went to work. All I ever said to him from then on was directions on chores. And all he said in return was a simple, ‘Got it,’. Then you came along, Pinkie. I’m mighty curious how your week was with him.”

Pinkie Pie suddenly felt very nervous as all eyes were on her now. Mr and Mrs Cake were already upset with her. And quite a few others.

"Um... pass?"

Pinkie Pie's voice was unusually high-pitched as she held up her hooves in a mock surrender, her cheeks turning a slightly brighter shade of pink than usual. The room was thick with tension, and the laughter that had filled it moments ago was replaced by a heavy silence.

"What did Anon do, Pinkie?" Twilight asked, knowing her loose cannon friend was not going to have an acceptable story. "Or should I be asking: What did you and Anon do?"

"We had fun...?" Pinkie Pie offered with a guilty smile.

Twilight's eyes narrowed.

Author's Note

Gotta love SpongeBob. Wanted to add the: chocolate? Chocolate! CHOCOLATE! part, but putting it in would be forcing it.

Can't wait to post Pinkie's chapter!