The Preventing of Cupcakes

I walk along the grass as I inspect and fall in love with the beautiful scenery and sweet smelling aroma in the air that fills my nostrils with delight.
"ahhhh!!" I sigh with relaxation as I stroll along the lovely green grass that is greatly spread on the ground.
The grass looks good to eat since I'm a little hungry, so I rip a handful out of the ground and chew furiously, then vomit. I needed food at this moment.
I carry on with my walk as I spot a chicken. "mmmmm! looks good enough to eat!" Except it wasn't a normal chicken, it had glowing red eyes, a cockatrice?
I keep my eyes away from the chicken with tail as i crept up to it, then snatched it violently and before it could look into my eyes, i picked up a sharp rock and decapitated the little critter before it could turn me to stone.
I was trying to find a better way to eat it since it smelled nasty after gutting it, so I remembered the lighter I had in my pocket, and some tree bark I tore off of a branch. I sat there and cooked it, then took a few bites, didn't taste too bad but could've used some sauce.
Then I hid the dead chicken's guts in a haystack. All of a sudden out of nowhere a mean, vicious manticore jumps out of the bushes looking for a fight.ROAR!!!! It charged at me and put a huge claw mark on my arm that bled intensely, then I sprinted away looking for a weapon.
I think fast on what to do as I spot a huge stick that I thought would make an excellent spear. I quickly sharpen the end of it and as the lion charges at me I take the spear and stab its eye penetrating into it's brain which was a pretty good shot since I blindly dropped the beast,then, it collapsed dead."OHHH SHIT, How am I supposed to hide something this big!!"I thought as I looked for a spot.
I just decided to dig a hole and stick it in, good enough. I'm having a great time so far in equestria trying not to get killed! My energy is already regained so I just make my way to ponyville.
As I start venturing the glorious sights I'm discovering from the show, I almost forgot about Dashie. the second I remembered, I started jogging in a random direction hoping to get to cloudsdale and skip ponyville so I dont get caught by Twilight or something, which I'm not ready for. I guess I'll just wait in between these locations; Sugarcube corner and Cloudsdale.