Breathtaking

It was 4:30 in the afternoon on the day of the ball. Rarity had kindly taken me home with her and put me on a familiar piece of furniture with a familiar trash can next to it. Not that I needed it... Overreacting? Maybe a little. When I got up to make coffee that day, I found a note rolled up in my favorite mug telling me to get 'sorted out' and to 'compose myself' in time for the ball. Yeah, she was still a little bit pissed, I think.

I found my suit in what resembled a dry cleaning bag with another note asking 'pretty please would I get ready before she comes home?' I got my shower taken care of, got myself all cleaned up and sat back down in the kitchen with nothing but a pair of boxers and a shirt so I could get a good look at the newspaper. Still no clue on who the mystery hero was. Still no comment from the Guard. Still no comment from Caramel. Shit John, you may have actually pulled it off. Now all you have to do is not fuck up. At 5:00 Rarity finally came into the boutique.

"JOOOOOOHN! OHHHH JOOOOOHN! I HOPE YOUR HEAD IS KILLING YOUUUUUU! Are you ready yet?" I waved at her from the kitchen

" 'Bout as ready as I need to be right now," I said calmly with coffee in hand.

"What does that mea- GOOD HEAVENS we've only got 2 HOURS! WHY AREN'T YOU DRESSED?" I rolled my eyes.

"The bathroom is ready for you if you need it. I've just got to put on the suit."

"And WHY haven't you?"

"I... Because wrinkles?" She waved her hoof dismissively.

"Never MIND that! I put a Wrinkle-Free Spell on it! It will wear JUST fine so put it on." I was dumbfounded.

"A wrinkle-free... What?" She smiled triumphantly.

"It was something I've been working on for a few months now. Twilight lent me a hoof a few days ago and it was only a matter of time before it was perfected!" I shook my head slowly.

"Unicorns..." I muttered.

"What was that?" She said flatly.

"Nothin' hun! I'll go put it on right now." I moved quickly towards the bag and unzipped it.

"See that you do. I'll need some time to get ready. Are you going to be... FIT to visit the castle tonight?" She asked with a condescending air.

"I'll be fine, chica. You just take care of your pretty little self and I'll take care of me, okay?"

"Good." She nodded curtly and trotted towards the upstairs while I grabbed the suit and pulled it out of the bag. It only took a few minutes to put on everything. I was more worried about the last piece... the tie. If anything, that needed to be perfect purely because it was all I really had control over. The only problem was the last time I tied a full Windsor knot was about 10 years prior for my grandfather's funeral. I sat down and waited patiently for Rarity to finish. An hour passed. Then thirty minutes. Well shit, John. It seems this little bit is pretty universal too, huh? At 7:30... thirty minutes before we planned on being all the way out in Canterlot I heard hoofsteps coming down the stairs.

"Gee, sugar. It seems like we may actually be somewhat on time. I don't know what it is, but you ladies take forever to... Wow."

I looked towards the bottom of the stairs and stopped in mid-sentence. For once, the voice in my head agreed with me. Is awestruck a good word to use here? I think so. Use it. Just... wow. Her normally well-styled violet mane was done up even more than usual. The long, slender black dress flowed from a plunging V-neck all the way down her white-furred body to just barely an inch from the floor, covering everything but a hint of white at the bottom where her hooves were. The center of her chest was graced with a beautiful diamond necklace and a pair of gold and diamond earrings hung from her ears, almost perfectly framing her face. Speaking of, her makeup choice for the night was relatively simple as well. Just enough mascara to make her gorgeous blue eyes pop with vivacity.

The whole image was almost too much for me. If I said it once, I'll say it again. You are a lucky sumbitch, you know that? Uh huh. The mare standing across the room from me radiated beauty and her attitude gave nothing but class. She grinned at the sight of my continuously dropping jaw.

"Well? Was it worth the wait?" I could only stumble my way through a single vowel.

"I... I... I..." She giggled and a faint blush crept onto her cheeks before she cleared her throat and remembered that she was supposed to be mad at me.

"Oh darling, don't you KNOW how to tie that?" She said referencing the purple silk tie around my neck. I couldn't think of anything to say... Except humor and flirt.

"Well ya know, I was just about to... Then I saw you and just about everything kinda... drifted out of my head." She smirked.

"Oh please... Here, let me help you." In a few short seconds she strode over to me and I knelt to give her a better angle to see. When she was practically on top of me, the tie glowed a bright blue and began to tie itself slowly in front of me. Her face was inches away; her eyes flitting back and forth between the tie and my own. I didn't notice her finish. It was as if all that existed were her and I.

"Rarity?"

"Yes?" she replied softly.

"I..."

There was a knock at the door and she hurried to answer. I sighed heavily and stood up to follow. I saw her step back into the room to grab a small purse and call for me.

"John! Its time to go!" I poked my head around the door frame and saw the two Royal Guards.

"Mr. Marshall?"

"Sirs?" Arrow grinned and looked from Rarity to me.

"Your chariot awaits."

The trip into the castle was fairly quick; Arrow and Cross knew we needed to get there soon, so they piled on the steam and hauled ass. We arrived on the steps of the Canterlot Royal Palace at about 8:30. I stepped off first and held out a hand to assist Rarity.

"My, what a gentlecolt!" she said, her voice laced with surprise.

"A side of me you forgot about?"

"More like a side I hardly see anymore. You're USUALLY a lush," she said. Arrow snickered behind me, but I just smiled and offered her my arm.

"Arrow, Cross... Y'all go ahead and enjoy yourselves for a while. What time will you be here for pickup?" They looked at each other and back to me. Cross frowned.

"Oh no, sarge. We're standing at attention until you get back. You go have some fun." I was aghast.

"The hell you-" I noticed some other ponies walking up and lowered my voice. "What in God's name are you gonna go and do that for?" Cross shrugged.

"Part of the job." I shook my head and whispered to the two.

"Look, you boys get the fuck out of here and do something. I don't care what, just do something. At 10:30, you can come back and stand here like you never left, okay?" The two pegasi snapped sharp salutes and took off to go park the chariot and I turned to Rarity.

"Do you believe those guys? They were really gonna stay here and wait for us." She smiled and nodded.

"It's what they do. They were just happy to do it for you." I sighed heavily and walked away with her on my arm. I hadn't had friends like that (excluding present company and the others back in Ponyville) in years. Like the guys that would spend free weekends with me fixing a pickup for hours and not expect a dime in return. That kind of friend was hard to come by. When Rarity and I reached the steps, this function turned into a whole new ballgame. Eyes all around turned to look at the gorgeous mare on my arm.

"What did I tell you, Rarity? You're gorgeous." She turned towards me.

"No John, they're looking at you. We aren't in Ponyville anymore where everypony knows you, remember?" she whispered back. That's when I noticed the pointing and whispering. That's when I noticed all of the flash photography and the crowd part to allow us entrance.

"Oh."

We stepped inside and joined the reception line to meet the princesses and I continued to receive looks.

"Darling, don't worry so much about it. It won't take us long before you're talking to ponies from all over. Just PLEASE be on your best behavior," she pleaded in a whisper. I smiled and looked around at the ponies that were still talking behind their hooves.

"Right. And I suppose I'll just start up a conversation with some random, rich, stuck-up asshole just as soon as they're done making wild-assed speculations about me, right?" She nudged me with her shoulder and gave me a reassuring look.

"What's the matter, John? You seemed excited to be here before."

"Well, there's something about first impressions that folks usually pay attention to... Something about basing their entire perception of you in the split second they hear about you and when I got here... YOU know." We finally stepped up to the princesses and were recognized.

"Ah, Mr. John Marshall and Miss Rarity of Ponyville. How nice to see you both again!" Princess Celestia smiled down at us and Princess Luna regarded us with kind eyes. Rarity stepped up and bowed before embracing the white alicorn.

"Oh, Princess Celestia, it has been forever since we've seen you in Ponyville... You absolutely MUST make the trip more often. I just KNOW that Twilight would very much like to spend some time with you!" The princess beamed at her subject.

"I was planning to come eventually, but duties seem to appear out of nowhere these days." Rarity bowed again and stepped aside so I could step forward and address the princess.

"Princess Celestia, thank you so much for the opportuni-" She held up a hoof and smiled.

"John, it is my pleasure to have you here at the castle. Besides, when ponies started to hear of your name on the guest list, they decided they had to come and see you. Before we knew what was happening, there was barely enough room to fit everyone in attendance inside the ballroom!" I smiled and bowed.

"All the same, thank you again, ma'am." I then stepped over to talk to Luna. "Princess, you look beautiful as always. I have to say, that night sky is something else. Do you really make them all?" She nodded.

"I do. Every night is unique... The sky is a canvas and the stars are a new painting for all to see."

"Back where I come from, the night sky stays the same. The stars never change unless you take into account of the Earth moving. The seasons change and you can see other parts of the sky, but nothing ever truly moves." She smiled at that... the first time I had seen one on her. "Thank you for hosting this tonight. It's my pleasure to be here." I then held out my hand and she set her hoof in my palm. I bent to kiss it when I heard a voice in my head that wasn't my own.

Your dreams give away your feelings for the ponies in our life... and that creature that is no longer.

I looked up at her in confusion.

You have dreamed about the death of Caramel in too great a detail for it to be coincidence.

My eyes grew a little.

Think me not a fool, John Marshall. You do this land a service, though your methods are perhaps gruesome. I only ask that you not forget yourself and those you love.

I nodded almost imperceptibly and drew myself to my full height. Never, ma'am. She smiled and cocked her head to the right. I looked and saw a beaming Rarity waiting for me.

"You had best go and enjoy yourself. Never forget: That beautiful pony over there has dreams, as well." I smiled and nodded before walking to my date.

"Well?" she asked expectantly.

"Well, what? Let's go meet some folks!"

It didn't take too long for ponies to warm up to the idea of talking to the human. Hell, it seemed that what did it was just being my witty, charming (not) self. Apparently, the Commander of the Griffon Kingdom's military was there and the old hawk was talking about fighting wars out in the border territories far away. I tossed a joke out there and we quickly started to become fast friends.

"Son, you may just make a good griffon yet!" I shook his hand... talon... whatever and smiled. Diplomacy is easy. So much easier when there aren't so many rules involved. I know that many others have had this thought... If I could pick a single world leader and sit down with them and a 6-pack of beer? Boom. World peace. I shook my head and smiled at him.

"Well, if it's all the same to you, I'd like to just be a human, but your home sounds like it might be an experience and a half." He considered this for a moment before grinning widely.

"Well, if you ever find yourself in that part of the world, you're welcome to a warm meal and a warm bed anytime!" I smiled, but couldn't help but think this was just him saying it to say it. Not doubting him or anything... No, actually, I was doubting him quite a lot.

"Well thank you very much, sir. Y'all have a nice evening now."

"Enjoy your evening Mr. Marshall," he said as he looked past me. "And you may not be from my world, but I guess real men can pick the best regardless of species. Good fortune with that one, friend... I'd wager she's got a hundred more standing in line behind you waiting for the chance sniff up her skirt." I looked over my shoulder and saw Rarity walking over to collect me.

"Well, commander.. I'm not too worried in that department. What kind of man would I be if I wasn't calm, cocky and confident?" He laughed aloud.

"Well said! Good night to you, sir!" I turned away from the group and nearly walked right into Rarity accompanied by a very well-dressed stallion.

"John Marshall, this is a good friend of mine, Fancy Pants." I stifled a laugh. I mean honestly, when the last person you've met was Commander Cyclone of the Griffon Kingdom, Fancy Pants just sounded kind of... comical.

"Nice to meet you, sir," I said extending my hand.

"Oh no, Mr. Marshall, it is all my pleasure. Rarity here speaks of how charming you are... not to mention that you're... well, if I may, something not of this world. I had to be one of the first to meet somepony so interesting!" I smiled.

"Sir, I appreciate it, but as many times as I hear how interesting I am, I still just think of myself as the most boring person here. Honestly, I'm just this beautiful young mare's escort for the night." Fancy Pants chuckled to himself.

"Charming AND humble. Miss Rarity, you certainly do seem to have yourself a winner with this one." I felt my face develop a twinge of red and saw Rarity's cheeks blush as well as we laughed nervously. "I say, why don't you both come to see me here in Canterlot one day? There's plenty to do here in the city and I daresay it would be nice to see some fresh faces every once in a while." Rarity and I beamed.

"Oh, Fancy Pants, we would LOVE to!" He smiled and nodded.

"Good! I must be off... It seems my lovely Fleur de Lis doesn't know what to do with herself without me, hah! Mr. Marshall, it was a joy to meet your acquaintance. I look forward to knowing you better!" I shook his hoof and he left.

"Rarity, I know that they say this is a 'social function', but it doesn't have to be like this the whole time, right?" She looked up at me.

"This is an excellent opportunity to make as many contacts in high society as you can. Use this to your advantage!" she said quietly.

"Look, I asked you to come because I wanted to spend time with YOU, not because I wanted to know ponies."

"Silly, you invited me because I made you a wardrobe. You said so yourself."

"Yeah well, you also happen to be stunningly beautiful, classy, charming and a bunch of other things I can't think of at the moment," she blushed, "and I would like to spend some time with this lovely mare in front of me if that is at all possible." I then started to pull her towards the ballroom floor.

"What? I don't... but you... John, what are you doing?" I left her off to the side and motioned for her to wait while I spoke to the quartet providing the hall with music.

"Excuse me, folks... Can I make a request? I need a waltz." The ponies looked at me like I was crazy. "You know, 1-2-3, 1-2-3, 1-2-3?" The grey mare behind the cello rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Yes. A waltz. We know. The question is, how do you propose to dance on two legs?" I turned and called back over my shoulder.

"Watch me!" I walked over to Rarity and looked down into her eyes.

"We're gonna try something new, okay? Well, new for you, I suppose." She raised an eyebrow. "Right hoof, my left hand, left hoof, my right shoulder... Got it?" Rarity nervously stood on her hind legs and placed her fore hooves where instructed as I placed my right hand just above her tail. She gasped and looked at me like I was groping her.

"JOHN! Mind yourself!"

"Don't mind him, darlin'. He's more of a gentleman than I am," I said with a smile and a wink.

Ponies from around the room turned to see the two of us standing in the middle of the floor, waiting for the song to begin. It worked out perfectly. On her hind legs, Rarity was maybe just a half-inch taller than eye level with me. When the song finally began and I started to lead, Rarity was a beat behind, but quickly caught up and after a minute, she was comfortable with the simple steps and we were moving across the floor as one. Slowly spinning, she cast a glance at the rest of the room.

"Dear me, I'm afraid I'll be too dizzy to go much longer."

"Just look at me, hun. Nothin' else. Her eyes met mine and she smiled briefly.

"They're all watching us, you know." I smiled back.

"Let them watch. Who knows? Maybe we'll even start a trend. Upright dancing! It'll be the latest craze." She grinned and stifled a laugh.

"Yes, and I suppose you would be the one to teach everypony how to dance, wouldn't you?" I scoffed.

"No, thank you. Sounds too boring to me."

"You sound too much like Rainbow for your own good." I rolled my eyes and kept dancing. We didn't speak anymore, but her eyes were saying unmistakable things to mine. Before I knew it the performance started to wind down and the violinist held the last note. I slowly dipped Rarity backwards, eliciting a slight squeal of surprise. For a few moments the gorgeous mare stared into my eyes... and I finally made my decision. I leaned closer and-

"Sergeant Marshall... I have to congratulate you on an excellent display and if I may, a gorgeous choice of date." I pursed my lips and sighed. Shining Armor. His namesake must be a gigantic cock-blocking robot designed in a secluded Canterlot lab. I lifted Rarity to her hooves and before I knew it, she was blushing and walking off to do something about her makeup or some shit.

"Well Captain, sometimes it's nice to make life just a little more than business. You outta try it sometime." Shining smiled and put a hoof on my shoulder.

"Well, if you'll come this way, we can take care of that in an instant and you can get back to that nightmare called 'The Midsummer Night's Ball'." We walked through a long hall towards his office.

"You know, Cap... I swear I would have thought someone like you... You know... Husband to a princess and all that... would be enjoying the party. Or at least not killing it for the rest of us." He cleared his throat loudly.

"My wife is currently seeing to a hospitalized pony in a place I'm sure you're familiar with." I stopped.

"Caramel?" Armor nodded.

"He's proving difficult to wake up and treat. The long time in the cocoon didn't do much for his heart, let alone his brain. In addition to mastering love magic, Cadence is a very accomplished healer. We're hoping Caramel comes too soon." We reached his office and he closed the door behind me.

"Sit," he ordered and I obliged him. "I would like you to tell me the actions you took once you got the assignment. I crossed my arms.

"Do you want an AAR or do you want me to just tell you plainly?" The confused look on his face told me at least that they don't refer to them as 'After Action Reports' here. "Fuck it. Look, I didn't do shit to find him because it would be literally like finding a needle in a haystack. Not only that, but a needle that can turn into a fucking piece of straw at will, you follow? Apart from breaking into EVERY HOME IN TOWN, I couldn't do anything.

"Finally a few days ago, a break landed in my lap. My source, who will remain anonymous, clued me into a possibility. After brief surveillance of the individual, I noticed a pattern emerge and took my chance to and try to find proof by recon of the dwelling. Needless to say, I found Caramel in the basement. I opened a window when I left to give me a way inside when I came back. Which I did later that night. I crawled in through the window, made sure Caramel was still there, went upstairs, killed the changeling and called it good. Left and sent in an anonymous tip to the local guards and they found the place." Shining Armor spoke up.

"So you still have no reliable methods of identifying a changeling?"

"No. Not without breaking into a home or watching the market hours and hours and hours trying to figure out who's buying all of the sugar... I'm sure you saw the volume of sugar bags in the house." He nodded and shuffled some papers on his desk.

"Before we wrap this up, how did you do it?" I looked at him with my mouth halfway open.

"Pardon?"

"How did you kill it?" I was quickly getting pissed.

"With the fucking rope in the Conservatory, what the fuck does it matter?" He must have missed the reference.

"We need to know. Can't figure it out ourselves." I rolled my eyes.

"You mean to tell me that there was a fucking fire poker laying on the floor next to the thing and y'all didn't fuckin' figure that shit out?"

"Sure I did. I just needed you to tell me something that no one else could. We've released just about every other detail about the scene other than that." I scowled.

"Alright, enough of the cloak and dagger bullshit. Where's my money?"

"On your chariot being guarded by the two stallions that brought you here."

"Good. We're done here then." Shining Armor held up a hoof and motioned for me to wait.

"Marshall... What did you feel?"

"Excuse me?" I said in a deadly whisper as I moved to stand up.

"What went through your head when it died? What did you feel?" I quietly leaned across his desk and gave him my answer.

"I felt its fucking throat crush. I felt its lungs cease to draw breath. I felt the smoke in my lungs and a smile on my face. Goodnight, Captain."

I slammed the door behind me and took off for the party. I needed a fucking drink.

Somewhere in the area of half a bottle of chardonnay later, I was feeling alright and looking for Rarity. I finally found her talking to a young stallion, light brown with a silver ingot as a cutie mark. Rarity seemed to be enjoying herself... Good. I walked up and decided to make myself known.

"Hey, sugar! See you've met someone new?" She looked at me in alarm and drew me closer.

"How much have you had to drink?"

"Not nearly enough. Who's your friend, here?"

"This is Silver Streak. He's an up-and-coming jeweler here in Canterlot." The stallion offered a hoof and I nearly missed when I reached for it to shake.

"Charmed I'm sure, Silver." Rarity excused herself from him and led me away from the young pony.

"John, please tell me you aren't drunk." I leaned across the bar that had been set up and snatched a bottle from behind the counter.

"Nope, but this oughta do it." I got a few gulps of the mystery liquid before Rarity magicked the bottle out of my hands and back to the wall.

"That's ENOUGH, John!" she hissed angrily.

"Dress me up, but ya can't take me anywhere, eh darlin'? You can thank Captain Armor for that one." Rarity gave pause to her anger.

"Twilight's brother? What does he have to do with-" Her voice stopped as she turned her head to look at something. I leaned around to see and got a look at three larger stallions looking over at us and chuckling.

"Friends of yours?" I asked calmly.

"No," she replied icily, "more like old flames." I grinned at her.

"Ohhhh you mean like boyfriends?" She shook her head.

"One of them is a stallion named Prince Blueblood. A short-lived infatuation that left me humiliated. The other two are both old 'boyfriends'. I didn't know that they all knew each other, but..." Her voice trailed off.

"But what?"

"But it seems they made a little game out of me." My temperature started to rise.

"Excuse me?"

"Well, you've seen tonight how I'm drawn to particular social circles... and particularly handsome stallions..."

"Uh huh." I could see this going badly.

"Well, let's just say they had a little bet. The one that got the farthest would win somewhere in the area of a thousand bits and I would be left humiliated once again." I was livid.

"AND?"

"And one got a kiss on the cheek before I figured out his true nature. The other nearly forced his way through the front door of my boutique the night I told him 'no'." I reached back across the bar for the bottle of awesome and took a couple more swigs before she could catch me. "John, what are you doing?"

"Defending your honor."

"John, NO!"

"Too late."

I strode over to the three ponies and joined in their laughing.

"HAHAHHAHHA!!! What's so funny guys?" I said loudly. The large brown stallion next to Blueblood laughed.

"Oh my friend here just told me the most amazing joke!" I played along... briefly.

"Oh really?" I said blankly before Blueblood spoke up.

"Yes. It's quite lengthy and you don't seem especially worth the time, but it pretty much revolved around your marefriend over there being... How should I-" I cut him off in mid-sentence.

"Listen here asshole, if I wanted a joke I'd follow you to the bathroom and watch you take a piss, got it?" I must have struck a nerve because he puffed out his chest and started spewing some pompous bullshit about being 'royalty' and not needing to deal with 'commoners'. The alcohol in my brain tuned the rest of it out.

"Bro. Shut up, okay? I've killed people for less than what you're doin' and that's a damn fact. As for the rest of you... You included," I pointed at Blueblood, "If I ever hear of you doin' anythin' to or sayin' anythin' about that young mare over there, I'll kick your asses so hard, you'll have to unbutton those collars to take a shit, you followin' me?" The previously silent grey stallion opened his mouth and smirked, so drunken reflex dictated that I grab him by the tie, pull him closer and shut it for him. He cast a terrified look at my flaming eyes and whimpered.

"Fuckin' pussies." I muttered before shoving him roughly away from me and walking back to the bar. Rarity was there with Silver Streak. Again. Alcohol and testosterone flowed freely through my system and before I knew what I was doing, I was nose to nose with him.

"Try it. Try anything with her and you'll answer to me, chico. That ain't a threat either. That's a damn promise." I pulled a stunned Rarity away from the dumbfounded stallion and made my way quickly for the door.

It was almost 11:00 when we walked out the door towards the pickup spot. Rarity was struggling with my actions for the night.

"John, what has gotten INTO you?! You spent the night perfectly fine, you met many MANY ponies and they liked you! We have a WONDERFUL evening, you leave for thirty minutes and come back a completely different person! You drank too much, CONTINUED to drink when I asked you to stop, threatened a nice stallion that was only TALKING to me. YOU owe HIM an apology. Other than that, I would thank you for standing up to Blueblood and his friends, but your reaction was so OVER THE TOP that now we will probably be BLACKLISTED! Do you have ANYTHING to SAY for yourself?!" I hiccuped slightly as I turned to her.

"Rarity," I said with a frown, "can we just go home?" She studied my face for a moment.

"John, what's the matter?" I repeated myself. I could start feeling a lump in my throat. Push that shit back, John. Drunk and crying is never attractive. Don't make a scene.

"Rarity, I just wanna go home... Can we go home?" She looked me in the eye, face full of worry. After a short pause, she nodded.

"Of course we can John, just give us a minute." Out of nowhere Arrow and Cross swooped low with the chariot and came to a stop in front of us.

"Hey sarge! We got called back a couple hours ago beca- Is he okay?" Rarity shook her head.

"No and it'll get worse before it gets better. My boutique please."

The trip seemed like it took forever and the more we flew, the more the world spun. I vaguely remembered reading in some book that alcohol is absorbed into your bloodstream at a constant rate of speed, so while there was a large amount of liquor in my stomach, it wasn't all processed yet and I was slowly getting drunker without actually drinking anything. When we finally got there, it took both of the guards to carry me into Carousel Boutique. I was barely conscious for most of it and could only hear voices.

"Don't put him in here. Take him upstairs to my bedroom. I need to keep an eye on him." Slowly we made our way up to the second floor hallway.

"Where do you want us to put him?"

"On the spare bed... Hold on." The loud thunk I heard shortly afterwards must have been the bed from another room dropping to the floor.

"What do you want us to do with the bags?"

"What? Oh, set them in my study. They can sit there for the night." I was set down on the bed and rolled onto my side. A few minutes later I heard voices again in the hallway.

"Do you need us to stay? Are you sure he's gonna be alright?"

"No, it's fine. I'll stay up with him through the night. As furious as I am with him, he's going to have to wait until he's sober enough for me to properly exhibit my anger."

"What happened to him?"

"I haven't a clue. He went with the Captain after we danced and came back moody and upset. Ended up insulting a prince and assaulting a couple of ponies. All I know is that he's hurt. Somehow."

"Wow... I know Captain Armor can be intense, but DAYUM."

"And you're SURE you don't need us to stay? You're gonna be okay with him alone?"

"Positive. The only thing HE needs to worry about is if I strangle him in the night. Thank you boys... I'm sure he would thank you if he could."

"We'll let ourselves out, then... Goodnight."

I heard the footsteps trail off down the hallway and down the stairs as Rarity came into the room and started removing clothing from me. I wasn't much help, but eventually, she got me down to the boxers and put me under the covers. I reached for her.

"Rarity... Raaaaaaaaaaarityyyyyy... Rare..." She came and sat on the edge of the bed.

"John? What's the matter, John? What do you need?"

"Rarity... Rarity... I... I'm drunk." She sighed.

"Well of course you are. Tell me, John... Tell me what happened."

"I... I'm drunk... Blueblood... He ain't gonna say SHEEIT anymore!" She didn't seem amused.

"Yes, yes John, you're the big hero again... Now tell me, why did you do all of these things tonight?" I struggled with the answer.

"I..... I....... I'm drunk."

"Was it something to do with Twilight's brother? John? John!"

At that moment I was dead to the world and limp on the bed. Her words never made it to my ears.

I woke up the next day feeling like absolute dog-shit in a strange room. I would have been a little nervous about my well-being, but everything in here matched only one place I've ever been in... Carousel Boutique.

I looked around at the room and tried to reorient myself. I was lying in a huge four-poster bed with a canopy. The windows let in a warm breeze and a clock on the wall said 1:36.

"Fuck..." I muttered quietly to myself until the realization actually hit me. Oh, FUCK... what did I do last night?" I moved to get up and noticed a warm body next to me.

"Ohhhhhhhh fuuuuuuuck..." The sheets rustled as I slipped out of bed and fell over. The room was... still spinning? Shit, John! Just how much did you have to drink last night? I pulled myself up on the edge of the bed and a tired-eyed Rarity yawned and sat up. I spotted a folded set of clean clothes for me on another bed near the door.

"John? John, no... Back in bed." I shook my head vigorously. "John, you need to be careful." I stood up and slowly started towards my clothes.

"I'm fine. Really," I said in a drunken slur.

"John, I need to speak with you about last night."

"No you don't. You don't need to say anything. It's okay."

"No John, it's not okay. You were screaming in your sleep. You woke up crying. I want you to-" I put up a hand to interrupt.

"No."

"John, this is serious! I moved you to my bed because you wouldn't calm down! What HAPPENED?! You just kept repeating yourself over and over. 'The brakes were out. Why were the brakes out?' What does that even MEAN? I want to help you!" I shook my head again and watched the world tilt lazily side to side as I fell over pulling my jeans on.

"No."

"John, WHY won't you let me HELP YOU? It's like you're a completely different person!"

"No."

"Where are you going?! You don't mean to leave here like THAT do you?!"

"Yep."

"John wait!"

I had my shirt in hand and closed the door behind me. I stumbled down the stairs a little, but made it to the door where my boots were set neatly on a mat. Sweetie Belle stepped out of the kitchen and looked up at me, wide-eyed and silent.

"I... I'm sorry, darlin'." She just cocked her head and raised an eyebrow. I pulled my boots on and closed the door as she called for her sister.

Where are you going, John? What are you gonna do?

You should already know the answer.

I stumbled into the dimly lit bar a little after 2:15. Lucky saw me and called out.

"Mr. Irish, it looks like somepony gave you a run for your money last night!" I barely acknowledged the comment and sat at the far side of the bar.

"Lucky, I need something. Anything. Leave the bottle." His brow furrowed.

"You've already got an outstanding tab here, John... I can't-" I interrupted him.

"I just came into some money. I'll take care of it and this just as soon as I can, okay? Right now... I don't wanna think." He brought over a bottle of well-liquor with a glass and regarded me with a concerned, yet fascinated stare.

"Are you... already drunk? What's troubling you so bad?" I shook my head and uncorked the bottle.

"Memory. I just need some magic-eraser for it and I'll be okay." He shook his head.

"Well, there isn't much magic in that bottle, but it'll probably do the trick just the same." He walked away and I put a cigarette in my mouth.

"God, I hope so."

I put the bottle to my head and pulled the trigger.