The Standard and Normal Human: Two : Griffon Grumbles

The Standard and Normal Human Two5 

(Slight Misdirection to begin with)

Me and a friend of mine had gotten ourselves into a fix, stuck in the middle of the desert with next to no supplies. The creature we were hunting was proving to be a major problem, not to mention the desert heat was draining our health away…

“Hey Muz, you got a spare cool drink?” I asked, trying to catch my breath.

“Yeah sure” He replied happily, “You’ve still got that extra raw meat on you right?”

“Of course, I even brought the BBQ spit as well… I figured we’d need it…”

Just then, a big shadow dragged along the ground past us. We knew it wasn’t going to be easy…

“Remember the plan?” Muz questioned, as he slowly unsheathed his long sword.

“Yeah, just line him up and I’ll shoot him good!” I replied back, loading my light bowgun.

It wasn’t long before it landed, it was a wyvern. A red one with a spiked tail, oh and a big sharp set of teeth. It was a Rathalos, it was pretty much just toying with us but we had almost finished it. We were making a last stand…

And then something happened…

I decided to cook some raw meat on the BBQ spit and for some apparent reason the Rathalos and Muz were talking all casual like, which made next to no sense.

Next was that the raw meat wasn’t cooking, but I had the strangest feeling of dizziness and warmth… As I turned the spit it seemed to get worse and worse…

‘Ugh this feels weird’

‘Too weird… Wait’

“Wait-“

I finally awoke to the forever changing view of the desert, everything was rotating in a clockwise fashion. I looked up- or down- Well both actually, and realised that I wasn’t somewhere I wanted to be…

I was being watched by a pack of lions, whilst being tied up on a BBQ spit over a low fire no less.

“WOAH! HEY!” I shouted out loud, hoping that they would understand me. “What the heck is going on!?”

“Oh look, it talks…” I heard of one of the lions say in a bored fashion. “We’re cooking you, you are our dinner-“

“Really?!” I shouted sarcastically “Because if you didn’t tell me that I would have had NO IDEA that you were trying to cook me right now!”

Even though I said that, the flames were actually pretty small, not only that but the spit was unusually high. I wasn’t getting burned and I wasn’t in pain, at the time I wasn’t thinking enough to figure this out so I continued to freak out.

“… What’s going on here?” I heard a familiar voice say, I couldn’t focus anymore and the spinning was sickening. “… Nick?”

“Ugh, that’s my name…” I replied, I was ready to throw up.

“What’s the meaning of this?!” The same familiar voice said again, they sounded concerned.

“The Griffon carried that thing here, she said that it said that this camp would be a place safe to stay” Another lion informed them, “She also said she wanted to ‘Have some fun’ with the creature before it woke up”

“He-he, I knew he’d act like this if it sounded like you were going to eat him… I thought it would be pretty good for a joke-“ Dagger informed the lion casually, I knew it was her the second I heard her.

“DAGGER! This is beyond a joke!” I barked back, at which point I stopped spinning and was being lifted to freedom. After I was unwrapped from the ‘BBQ of doom’, I sat my backside on the ground and, once again, was witness to creatures looking at me as if to say-

“What the heck is that?” One of the lions asked, looking at me with its piercing eyes.

“I have no idea… It looks pretty weird…” Another said.

I stood up and had a quick look around whilst I was being observed, then I realised something was missing… I patted myself down but it was nowhere to be found…

“… My chain is gone… Who managed to take it off?!” I asked the lions, “That thing was getting on my nerves!”

“That would be me…” An older and wider voice replied, “I removed it shortly after you arrived”

“Really? How’d you manage that?” I asked with curiosity, I figured they must have done something pretty clever to remove the metal chains. “Magic?- No wait… Acid!”

“Actually I used a big rock” He replied casually, “I just smashed it off…”

“… Huh…” I was at a loss for words, all I could think was ‘How did I not think of that?!’ “Well thanks for that, wearing that everywhere was getting on my nerves…” I had another look around and saw someone that I had been looking for, he was a sight for sore eyes. “Curt?! Buddy!”

I charged towards him, picked him up and gave him the biggest hug he’s probably ever had.

He didn’t take this well, in fact I think he was a bit embarrassed. “G-Get off of me Nick!” he roared at me, I would have said barked but hey, he’s a lion not a dog.

“Nick?” Said the village elder, repeating my name to recollect something from the past. “Curt, is this the one who rescued you from captivity?”

“Yes elder, he is the one” Curt replied to the elder with great respect, “If it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t have returned to our home”

“Well in that case…” The elder began to say, stroking his beg beard with his claw. “We welcome you to our home with open paws”.

Just like scar from the wolf pack the elder also had a scar, it looked as if he got into a fight with a dragon or something… It looked like a deep burn, it had completely immobilized his left eye. With the plaits in his hair and a deep, wise and commanding voice he was the Elder of his camp. He simply waved his paw and before I knew it, I was being observed by at least twenty or thirty lions which all seemed to appear from nowhere, the setup of the camp was a basic one. Tree trunks for seats and a fire pit in the middle, their houses were made from dirt… Literally… Think of an igloo but made from mud, it was actually rather well made.

We all gathered around the camp fire, with Dagger to my left and Curt to my right I felt out of place… A bit late for that right?

“Please, explain what is going on” The elder asked me, compelled as to what the heck was going on.

“Ok, I’ll give you the short version…” I began, for the next few seconds I was silent, trying to collect my thoughts. “I come from a different world entirely, it doesn’t contain any magic and so I should have never been able to get here at all… The first time was an… Accident. This time however Discord, lord of chaos and total jerk, decided to bring me to this world against my will, but more specifically he took me to the Griffon Empire…”

“But the Griffons despise Discord…” One of the lions added, unsure as to why he’d drop me there.

“Yeah, that’s why I was imprisoned… They thought I was his ally…”

“So how did you escape?” Another lions asked… I wanted to laugh, the only thing I could think of was that old saying. ‘Curiosity killed the cat’

“Well I didn’t at first, I was just lucky that a certain Griffon came gave me a way out…”

The elder turned to talk to Dagger, “So… Why did you help this- Uh…“ The elder began, but he stopped midsentence as he didn’t know what I was.

Luckily however, “Human, this creature is a human” Curt assisted the elder, “Its name is Nick”

“Ah, thank you Curt Claw” The elder replied happily.

“Well…” Dagger started to say, unsure as to how to proceed. “I just wanted a bit of freedom… And this human said that he had been to Equestria once before, so we made a deal-”

“If she freed me from my jail, I would show her around Equestria!” I interrupted happily, this caused Dagger to glare at me. “What? Oh fine, Sorry ‘Princess’… Yeesh”

Saying that last part didn’t get a reaction, so I could only assume that they already knew who she was.

And then something happened, I asked a question which in turn would lead to a story which was truly interesting…

“So… What’s your story?” I asked the lion elder, “You must have a tale or two?”

“Hmm, I do… But what do you know about this world and its past?” The elder asked me, I was stuck for words. “I see… To explain why we are here, I believe I need to explain how Griffons came to exist…” The elder got up and lead us all to a place where all answers would be seen clearly, kind of like an answer sheet for an exam. It was a place that I didn’t even notice when I first arrived, it was a cave… On the inside, all over the walls were hieroglyphs, drawings and letters, all explaining about the past… The elder explained everything will all of the knowledge that surrounded us…

Ok, this conversation took so long that it was pretty much night time by the end of it. But I can however try to summarize it in a way so that it should take only a few minutes…

In their world, thousands of years ago, there were no Griffons… Not a single one… There were however, Eagles and Lions.

Now, these guys didn’t exactly get along. There were even wars that went on between the two factions.

They would be stepping on each other’s… Well Paws and talons, can’t say feet now can I? The eagles would want to hunt for food on the ground, but of course this is where the lions get their meals too. After years of arguing it turned into all out warfare, both factions trying to hold down areas for themselves. This went on for many more years, neither side was backing down…

And then something unspeakable happened… One species from each race had somehow taken a liking to each other, through the magic of mortal combat. I really didn’t want to have to say the ‘M’ word there… Magic I mean, not the mortal combat part…

Through the magic of love… Great… said it again, plus that sounded way too corny… Where was I? Oh right, well these two managed to put their differences aside and found themselves to be quite in love with each other.

Ok, see where I’m going with this? Or do I need to go all ‘You Don’t Know Jack!’ game quiz on y’all.

It should be pretty self-explanatory, thus the very first Griffon was born between these two. They did however keep this a secret, until eventually both sides found out about this co-existence between the two races.

This sparked an outrage, however these two, using the power of speech, managed to convince them that both races could live together peacefully. It took a while but eventually a truce was made, then peace managed to find itself amongst the citizens. It wasn’t exactly easy for them but they managed somehow…

They hunted together and eventually found themselves to be quite capable allies, this made the bonds between the races stronger, which in turn meant that more Griffons would be blessed and born into the world.

Peace had finally and settled for the next few hundred years… And then something occurred of which neither party could have anticipated…

The elder pointed with his paw to a certain drawing on the wall, it was a large scaly creature breathing what appeared to be fire from its mouth…

“Dragons?” I questioned, it felt like a curve ball was just thrown into the fray at this point.

“Correct” The elder confirmed, “They were a threat that neither the Lions or Eagles could have handled together or alone… Lions may be strong and fierce, but we didn’t have the means to reach them… Eagles may be quick and agile, but they didn’t have the strength to do any real damage…”

And just like that, all the pieces of the puzzle had fallen into place…

“… But the Griffons did…”

The elder nodded, “Precisely…  The Griffons managed to drive back the dragons that nearly destroyed all of our homes, they became revered for their courage, willpower and brute strength… After the Lions and Eagles rebuilt their homes, the Griffons decided that they needed to keep watch over the dragons to make sure that such an occurrence never happened again… So they build their homes high, high enough to see exactly what they were up to… They created an Empire, crowned a king, they thrived…”

“Ok… That actually makes some sense…” I said, this was one heck of a day to learn about all of this… At least it killed some time, heck it gave me something to think about…

The elder was about to continue but just then, one of the lions from the outside charged into the cave, they looked worried. “Elder! Griffon Royal Guards are heading this way!”

Dagger let out a cry of panic, “W-What do we do!?”

“Gah- Hide you idiot!” I shouted back, “Mr Elder Lion Sir, I hate to ask but is there somewhere you can keep us hidden for the time being?”

“There is” The lion Elder said swiftly yet calmly, “Follow me”

He quickly led us out of the cave, I looked up at the sky and could see dots in the sky far into the distance. At the speed they were going we didn’t have long… We were quickly led into one of the mud houses, on the inside it looked pretty basic, I mean it was just a shelter after all. No beds, no cosy furniture, nothing. Well, all except for a rug on the floor. It looked too out of place, suspicious even. And I was right to be wary, the elder removed it and it uncovered a secret hiding spot.

It was so technologically advanced, so farfetched, so crazy that it just had to work! … Yeah, it was a wooden plank which when lifted revealed a hole in the ground, see? I couldn’t make it sound great if I tried…

“Get in” The Elder said to us, “You need to hurry”

 “You’ve got to be kidding…” Ok, I have some issues with tight spaces. I learned this back when I was still in school, we took a trip to an underground cave, I think it was called Peak Cavern although I could be wrong. During the tour we partly travelled by a small boat, it was cramped, dark, wet and extremely uncomfortable.

Whilst thinking about all of these things, Dagger, of all Griffons, Decided to push me into the hole, against my will of course. Again, I wanted to say people but I just can’t…

“Gah! Hey!” I yelled at her, but she didn’t look like she was in the mood to argue with.

“Shut Up!” She barked, glaring at me yet again.

The lid was closed shut and the rug was laid on top, Dagger had her wing over my mouth as I attempted to freak out. So much so that she ended up smothering me and I passed out…

I swear she did that on purpose…