The Taste of Shenanigans

CHAPTER 6: On moon: What do?

Dr Madbrain, smug as ever, looked at Loopsworth’s mangled body and smiled. “I knew he vould get sent here. I just knew it.”
“Uh… how, exactly?” asked Applejack.
He gave her a patronising smile. “Vat’s ze first rule of life?”
“Do what the princess says.”
“Exactly. Vhile in ze library I heard him mumble something about vanting to confront her. Ze fool. He should have known zis vould happen.”
Applejack looked confused. “Then why did you come here too?”
“To extract revenge, obviously. Now he is out of ze vay for good, I can relax. I don’t even need to make a robot from your friend’s DNA anymore. I vill enter zis rocket into ze competition instead.”
“That’s it? Seriously?”
“Yes. Goodbye.”
“Wait wait wait!” shouted Rainbow Dash. “Can we come with you?”
“No. Zhere is only room for von pony.”
Pinkie Pie stood up. “Can we at least have a bowling rematch before you go?”
“No. I von fair and square. Goodbye.”
He stepped into the rocket, and it began to blast off.
Pinkie Pie picked up Applejack’s leg that Rarity had dropped.
“IT WAS A FLUKE!” she screamed, and threw it at the rocket. It collided, causing the rocket to explode spectacularly. The flaming debris, along with Dr Madbrain and Applejack’s leg, fell to the ground. Rainbow Dash walked over and poked him.
“Yeah, he’s dead.”
“What about my leg?” asked Applejack.
Rainbow Dash looked at it. It was burning like a log on a fire.
“Yeah, that’s dead too.”
Applejack’s face was ashen. “B-Bucky… no…”
She looked at Pinkie Pie. “Why did you do that?!”
Pinkie shrugged.
“…well, what do we do now?”
“The only thing we can do.” said Rainbow Dash. “Wait.”
So they waited. Then they got bored, so they stopped waiting.
“Let’s explore!” shouted Pinkie Pie.
“Alright.” said Rainbow Dash.
They began walking in a random direction, with the hope that they would come across something. Anything. Applejack struggled to drag the unconscious Rarity along, and had to stop after like, ten minutes or something.
“Agh…” she muttered, wincing. “I don’t think I can do this anymore.”
She sunk to the ground, clearly in a lot of pain. “I mean… what’s the point? We’re never gonna get off this thing.”
“Don’t think like that, AJ.” said Rainbow Dash. “We have to stay positive.”
“Why? Staying positive isn’t going to save us.”
“Yes, but as long as we’re alive, we may as well make the best of it.”
“Things aren’t going to get any better, Rainbow. It’s a pointless struggle from here. We may as well just end it now.”
Rainbow Dash walked over to Applejack and hoof-punched her.
“Ow!” she shrieked. “AS I’M NOT IN ENOUGH PAIN AS IT IS!”
“Listen to me, Applejack. We probably won’t ever leave the moon. I understand that. But we live to survive. As long as there’s the slightest bit of hope, we have to stick it out. Right up until the point we physically cannot continue.”
“You say we have to live as long as there’s hope… but what hope is there?” said Applejack, adjusting her hat.
“There’s always hope.”
“Pfft.”
“What about Princess Luna? She escaped, did she not?”
“Yes. She did. But that took a thousand years. I highly doubt we’ll live that long.”
“That’s not the point. What I’m trying to say is that there’s still a possibility we can escape. And sulking isn’t going to make it any easier.”
Fluttershy tapped Rainbow Dash on the shoulder. “Look…”
“Hm?”
Sitting against a moon rock in front of them was an egg. It was a faint green colour, but it had an incredible glow, and sparkled like someone had thrown a cup of glitter into your face.
Pinkie Pie stared in fascination. “Oooooh.”
“What the hay is that?” Rainbow Dash said.
Pinkie Pie then pushed past her and approached it, intending to pick it up.
That very second, a bullet penetrated Pinkie’s head, and she flumped to the floor. A dark blue pony holding a sniper rifle stepped out from behind a rock, made her way to the egg, and picked it up, as the other ponies watched in shock.
“Princess Luna?!” they gasped in unison.
“Correct.”
Applejack looked at Pinkie Pie, then back at Luna. “You… just killed her.”
“Don’t worry yourself.” she said. “These are enchanted bullets. She’s just in a coma.”
Princess Luna started walking away.
“Wait!” shouted Rainbow Dash. “What are you doing here?”
She turned back. “My sister sent me here.”
“Why?”
“I ate the last chocolate mousse.”
The others looked confused.
“Heh. I’m not here for long. It’ll be about a week, I reckon. This is nowhere near as serious as the time I beat her at checkers.”
They continued to look puzzled.
“That was two weeks.”
“…uh-huh.” said Rainbow Dash. “And the time you turned into Nightmare Moon? That was like, ages, right?”
“WE DO NOT TALK ABOUT THAT!” she yelled, and shot Rainbow Dash in the head.
“Geez, Luna. I thought you were cool about that.” said Applejack.
“Course I am.” she said, twitching.
There was an awkward silence for a bit.
“So, anyway, when you go back home, is there any chance you could bring us with you?” asked Applejack.
“No can do. Sorry.”
“That’s alright. I didn’t think so.”
Another awkward silence followed.
“Do you want to come back to my moon house?” asked Luna.
“Yes, please.” replied Fluttershy. “That would be lovely. This place scares me.”
“Yeah.” said Applejack, adjusting her hat. “House good.”
They set off for Luna’s moon house, Applejack dragging Rarity along in her back, and Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie via their tails in her mouth.
“Um, Luna?” said Fluttershy.
“Yes?”
“What’s so special about that egg?”
“There’s a legend of a pony that once saved Equestria from a huge disaster. Do you know the story of ZXCVB?”
Fluttershy and Applejack nodded.
“Well I will tell it anyway, as if there was someone else present. Even though there isn’t.”
She paused and thought for a second.
“Right, OK. Long ago, there was an invasion from another planet. A group of space squids had gotten into Equestria, locked the princess in her own dungeon, and were turning ponies into squid creatures. Fortunately, ZXCVB and his six shiny emerald dragon friends exterminated the intruders, and ZXCVB used his magical healing powers to restore the transformed ponies to their original state. However, they had missed one of the evil squid guys, who sneaked up on them days later while they were sleeping, and sealed the dragons inside eggs. He wasn’t seen from again. It’s assumed he went back to his home planet.”
“OK, but… why did you want that egg?” asked Fluttershy.
“ZXCVB tried to turn the eggs back into dragons, but was unable to, so he flew around the world to hide the eggs in places nopony would look. That way, they would be safe until somepony figured out a way to cure them.”
“That doesn’t really answer my question.”
“After hiding the eggs, ZXCVB hid himself away in a cave somewhere. He told nopony other than Princess Celestia. They’re pretty close friends. To this day, she is the only one who knows the whereabouts of the cave. She still goes there now to visit him.”
“You mean… he’s still alive?!”
“Yeah. Technically. But he’s being all emo about it, saying that he’ll only return when his dragon friends are brought back.”
“Wow…” said Fluttershy. “But that still doesn’t answer my question.”
“My sister and I have spent months searching for these eggs. We’ve found four so far. Well, five now.”
“Why would you look for them after he went to all that trouble to hide them?”
“Because I know how to turn them back.”
“Really? How?”
They reached the moon house. Luna pushed open the door, and then stood aside.
“Have a look in there.” she said.
Fluttershy poked her head through the doorway. In the corner of the moon house was a cage, and inside it was a space squid.
“See him?” said Luna. “That is the last space squid in existence. You know how I said it was assumed he went back to his home planet? Well it turns out space squids come from the moon.”
“How… how long has he been in that cage?” asked Fluttershy.
“About half a year. I found him, shot him with my rifle and brought him here. Then I interrogated him about how to turn the eggs back into dragons.”
“And he told you?”
“Yes. You just boil them for a few minutes.”
“Oh. Well, how come you’re still keeping him locked up?”
They walked inside. Luna placed her rifle on a table.
“We came to an agreement. He tells me how to restore the dragons, and once we’ve done that, he may go free.”
Applejack spit out Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash’s tails. “So you have one more egg to find?”
“Yes.”
“Why not just ask ZXCVB where he put it?”
“I told you. He’s being all emo.”
“He sounds like an idiot.”
“He kind of is. But he’s a friend, so we’re helping him. He didn’t even hide the eggs very well, considering he had the whole world to find hiding places. Come to think of it, I have no idea how he got one on the moon. That was probably the best hiding place so far.”
Luna sat on a chair and turned on a computer.
“Make yourselves at home.” she said, putting on a headset.
Applejack got on the sofa, lay down on it lengthways and went to sleep. Fluttershy went and stood in front of the cage. She and the space squid made eye contact, without saying anything.
“By the way.” said Luna. “It’s hard to tell what time it is, but you’re best off going to sleep.” She glanced at Applejack. “…like her.”
“Uh… OK. Thanks, Princess.”
“No problem.”
Fluttershy looked at the space squid once more, then lay on the ground and closed her eyes.

END OF CHAPTER 6