The Taste of Shenanigans

CHAPTER 7: Space Fluttershy the Space Fluttershy in space! (and her space friends)

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!” Rarity screamed.
“Ugh…” grumbled Applejack, rubbing her eye. “…why did she have to wake up?”
“HELP ME!” shouted Rarity, flailing about helplessly.
“OW, OW, OW! STOP MOVING YOUR HEAD! OW!”
“WHAT HAPPENED?! HELP!”
“I’LL TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED WHEN YOU- OW! WHEN YOU STOP MOVING!”
Rarity stopped waving about, and her screams died down into a soft whimper.
“I-I can’t move my head. It’s stuck…”
“That’s because your horn is lodged in my back.”
Rarity didn’t reply.
“…Rarity?”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAGH! HELP ME!” she screamed as she began flailing again.
“NO! DON’T DO THAT! OW! RARITY! CALM DOWN!”
She stopped again, then closed her eyes tightly and started chanting ‘I don’t like it’ repeatedly.
“Listen, Rarity. We got launched to the moon, remember?”
She just continued chanting.
“Well we landed… awkwardly. Or more specifically, you landed horn first into my back.”
Fluttershy arose, and yawned. “What’s with the screaming? …oh, right.”
Applejack looked at Fluttershy, and her jaw dropped.
“Uh… Fluttershy? You’re a squid.”
Rarity’s chanting halted, and she also looked at Fluttershy, albeit upside down.
“Ooooh. She’s right, darling. You’re a squid.”
Luna, who for some reason was oblivious to Rarity’s screams, swivelled her chair around, and removed her headset.
“Heh. You’re a squid.”
Fluttershy turned towards the space squid to see him grinning back at her. She then moved towards a mirror and gazed into the reflection.
“Oh dear…”
She looked back at Applejack.
“I’m a squid.”
She wiggled her squiddy arms in front of her face for a few seconds, and set them down again.
”This isn’t happening, right?” she asked. “…EEEEW! TENTACLES!”
Applejack gave the space squid evils. “You did this, didn’t you?”
“Yep.” he chuckled.
“Princess, surely he should be punished for this?”
“Yeah.” she replied. “That was uncalled for.”
Luna used magic to pick up a bow and arrow, and shot the space squid in the squid head. He died a squid death.
“Was that an enchanted arrow?” asked Fluttershy.
“Nope.”
“Heh. That’ll show ‘im.” said Applejack, adjusting her hat.
“No it won’t.” said Rarity. “He’s dead. No lessons can be learnt from this.”
“…true.”
Fluttershy squidded over to Luna. “Please… help me. Turn me back.”
“Sorry, I can’t do that.” she said, shaking her head.
“Why not?”
“Dunno how. Only ZXCVB knows how to do that. He has magical healing powers. I don’t.”
“Well… we have to find him!”
“You know just as well as I do that the only way to do that is to find the last egg. And I highly doubt he hid two on the moon.”
“So I’m stuck as a squid forever?”
“Pretty much.”
Fluttershy began to cry.
“Oh, no, don’t cry.” said Luna. “Here, have a squid chocolate.”
Her mild cry became a volume-tastic wail.
“Please stop! I COMMAND YOU TO PLEASE STOP!”
Fluttershy stopped wailing, but the tears now covered her squid face. “…sorry.”
“That’s alright. How do I cheer you up?”
Fluttershy shrugged.
“Hmm… you know what always cheers my sister up? The misfortune of others.”
And with that, she strode over to Applejack and pulled Rarity from her back. Applejack flinched, then glimpsed at the hole it left.
“OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW! WHAT THE HAY DID YOU DO THAT FOR?!”
“I’m cheering Fluttershy up. Right, Fluttershy?”
She nodded. “That was pretty funny.”
“Besides,” said Luna. “I just fixed your back problem.”
“I guess so… ow. I’m still pretty annoyed you did that, though.”
Luna sighed. “Play on my computer if you want.”
Applejack’s face lit up. “You sure? I don’t reckon I’d be any good.”
“Nonsense.” said Luna. “You’re wearing a hat. You’ll be fine.”
As Applejack staggered to the computer, Rarity was jumping up and down, panicking.
“There’s blood on my horn, isn’t there?! There is! AAAAGH!”
Luna gestured towards a door. “Bathroom. In there.”
Rarity charged into the door. It flung open, and smacked the wall.
Luna rolled her eyes. “This is going to be a long week.” she thought.
Meanwhile, at Princess Celestia’s castle, there was a knock on the throne room door.
“Come in.” said Celestia.
A shiny, gold pony entered, alongside a royal guard.
“She’s claiming to be your daughter.” he said.
“…right.” said Celestia. “Who are you?”
“My name is Shinygold Goldenshine. I’m your daughter.”
“No. You aren’t.”
Celestia raised an eyebrow. “Is that a fake horn?”
“What?! No, of course not!”
“It is. I can see the sticky tape. You know, I wouldn’t be surprised if that gold coat was spray-painted on.”
Shinygold said nothing.
“Oh my me. It is, isn’t it? What about that shine? Let me guess… glitter?”
Shinygold frowned and shook her head. “I’m your daughter, I swear!”
“Oh really?”
“Yes! I’m an alicorn, and you’re my mother!”
“OK. Prove it.”
“I will. How?”
“All you have to do is stand on that spot over there, and I will believe you’re not a delusional idiot.”
“Sure!”
She gullibly trotted over to the spot.
“There! Do you believe me now?”
“Oh, wow! Yes, I believe you! You’re my daughter! Tell you what, daughter of mine… why not have a banana?”
“Oh, yes please! I love bananas!”
Princess Celestia pulled a lever, and a panel on the floor slid open, revealing a pit of spikes that Shinygold Goldenshine swiftly fell into.
Celestia looked at her guard, and smiled. “She wasn’t worth sending to the moon. She’d probably think it was a holiday resort or something.”
The guard laughed. “She was a nutter.”
“She certainly was.” said Celestia. “My surname isn’t even Goldenshine. Oh, by the way…”
“Yes?”
“Did Twilight finish the blueprints?”
“She did.”
“Brilliant. Meet me in my bed in five minutes.”
“Yes, your awesomeness.”
Two weeks later…
Princess Luna’s moon sentence had finished, and she’d returned to Canterlot Castle. Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy were living in Luna’s moon house at her insistence, and Applejack, although in a fairly unwell state, had become pro at Luna’s computer game. Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash had awoken from their short-lived comas, and had subsequently made out again. Also, Fluttershy was still a squid. Everyone was filled in on recent events, and was up-to-date with anything and everything that might need explaining.
Rainbow Dash sat on Fluttershy’s squid head, bouncing up and down.
“Heh. You know, Fluttershy, this isn’t so bad. Being a squid may even be an improvement on your old self.”
“Well… not really. What about my wings? They’re gone.” she replied softly.
“Pfft. As if you used them properly.”
“I still don’t want to be a squid. Not now, not ever.”
“Not even yesterday?” asked Pinkie Pie.
“I WAS a squid yesterday. And no, I didn’t want to be a squid then, either.”
Rarity sighed, looking intensely at her reflection as she applied eye shadow. “Just find that magic, sparkly egg and you’ll be back to normal. Then we won’t have to listen to you complaining all the time.”
“It’s not that easy, Rarity.” said Fluttershy. “I can’t just… FIND the egg. If it was sitting outside the front door right now, it would be fine. But it’s probably not on the moon at all.”
“Also,” said Rainbow Dash, “Even if we did find the last egg, how would we know what cave ZXCVB is hiding in? Only Celestia knows… and something tells me we can’t just go and ask her.”
Applejack paused her game. Well, not literally. You can’t pause an online game. She just stopped moving her character, and it got killed.
“Wait a sec, Dash. Didn’t you once follow Princess Celestia to a cave?”
Rainbow Dash jumped off Fluttershy, hitting the floor with a dull thud. “Oh yeah. But I don’t remember anything after that.”
“What happened in there doesn’t matter. The important thing is that you remember going there, right?”
“Uh-huh.”
“So you know where it is?”
“Yep.”
“Well there you go! That could well be the cave you’re looking for!”
She returned to her online game, because she was about to respawn.
“That’s a start.” said Fluttershy. “Still need to get off the moon, though. And depending on how emo he is, we might still have to find that last egg.”
Just then, a knock came on the door. Everyone (bar Applejack) shared a worried glance, and then Rarity walked over to the door and opened it. Her jaw dropped so far down that it made her mouth look really big.
“S-SAPPHIRE SHORES?! PHOTO FINISH?! F-F-FANCY PANTS?!”
Stood there in front of her, on a giant red carpet that stretched back down to Earth, were the ponies she just named.
“Hello there, Rarity. How are you feeling?” asked Fancy Pants.
“I’m… I’m…”
She couldn’t manage to assemble a sentence, so Fancy Pants just carried on.
“I bet you’re all wondering why we’re here.”
They all nodded, except Applejack, who just grunted, and adjusted her hat.
“We’re the stars. And we’re here to aid your escape.”
They all (not Applejack) let out a huge smile.
“We’re… we’re GOING HOME!” squealed Fluttershy.
“Are you serious?!” asked Rainbow Dash. “You guys are here… to rescue us?”
Fancy Pants nodded. “When you’re ready, just follow us down this magical red carpet.”
So they all (with the exception of Applejack) began walking down the red carpet.
“AJ!” shouted Rainbow Dash. “Come on!”
“One sec.” muttered Applejack. “Lemme just kill this guy.”

END OF CHAPTER 7