The Derpy Apocalypse

HUGE FREAKIN' WARNING: IF YOU DON'T L

Rainbow Dash's plan wasn't really going all that well, considering all that she had done was make a small dent in the bathroom tiles. She sighed and, using her EXTREME RAINBOW POWERS OF STEALTHINESS, stealthily flapped her wings over to Rarity's room. She squeaked open the heavy, gray, and dull door to reveal the opposite: A dragon's dinner. On the walls were many priceless gems, the floor made Rainbow's eyes bleed, and the ceiling, OH GOD THE CEILING. The ceiling was covered with shimmering golden wax, and if Rainbow knew Rarity, she knew the frugal unicorn had used a blow dryer on a gold crayon. Sprawled on the small cluttered bed was Rarity, slobbering on a pillow, while murmuring sadly. "No Spike, don't.. put the pancake in the trash compactor.." Rainbow snorted in laughter and poked Rarity's face with a stick. Rarity rolled over and mumbled. "No.. Don't poke me with the Fork of Horripilation.. Please," Rainbow Dash, bored with this, kicked Rarity off of her tiny bed and she fell to the ground with a thump.

"JABSHFBEJBFBHJBSJBF.. wait.. what.. RAINBOW DASH, WHAT DID YOU JUST DO?" Rarity screeched, watching Rainbow Dash's amused facial expression with rage.

"Want to help me get foooooooooooooooooooood?" Rainbow asked, with a cute little wide-eyed stare. Rarity sighed and angrily muttered, but loud enough for Dash to hear, "tater tots.." Dash facehoofed, pushed past Rarity, and trot out the door. Well, that could have gone a LOT better.

Rainbow looked out the window, and saw the sun starting to set. She saw Cloudsdale out in the distance and sighed. If only it were safe up there.. I could bring all of my friends and we could be safe.. Derpys can't actually fly that high. Suddenly, Twilight shouted down the hall, saying dinner was ready to eat. Oh gee whiz, you know I love eating raw eggs! Rainbow groaned and galloped to the "dining table", aka a long cardboard box covered with paper towels. She sat down on her box seat and dug into her brick and paint thinner sandwich.

Three vomiting ponies and one Derpy invasion later, Dash walked in Fluttershy's room and saw Fluts laying on the bed. Pissed off, Rainbow kicked Fluttershy in the back of the head and unfortunately gave her a bit of a concussion. Nice going, Dashie. HEY, you don't have the right to talk to me like that, Author! I swear to god, one of these days- Woah, okay, Dash, stop breaking the fourth wall.

Sorry about that. You didn't even tell what really happened! Rainbow, what did I say about breaking the fourth wall? Fine, just tell the story already, you stupid ape. ANYWAYS, yeah, that happened. Fluttershy is.. um.. "recovering" from her concussion, and yeah. Get to the point. Okay, fine. Next paragraph is serious.

Serious.

Okay, fine. Rainbow lazily flapped her wings and 'flew' over to Fluttershy. Curious, Dash gently tugged at Fluttershy's mane. "Fluttershy?.. Are you awake?" Fluttershy's wings shot up and she rolled over and stared at Dash. "What is it? I was just in the middle of a fantastical.. dream.. thing. So.. um.. How are you? What are you here for, Rainbow Dash?" Rainbow sat down in a plastic chair and grunted. "I need your help searching for food outside."

Fluttershy gasped cutely. "What?? The OUTSIDE? Dash.. That's a scary place.. Are you sure?" Rainbow sighed. "Yes, Fluttershy. I'm serious. We need to actually get to the point of this fic start eating REAL FOOD. I don't like.. eating.. what we're.. eating.. right now. I hope you understand this, Fluts."

Fluttershy grimaced, and nervously nodded her head. "I under..understand. I... guess I could come... and.. and.. and.. help you look for food, I guess. Would that be nice?.."

Rainbow Dash grinned. "Yes, Fluttershy. That'd be perfect. After all, I'd need your help in case.. of.. um.. something. Thanks again, Fluttershy." And with that, Dash ran out in search of other ponies that could help.