Chapters The morning's unusual silence was broken only by the lonely echo of hooves against the earth. Just in time for the sunrise, Fluttershy had decided to go for a walk, trotting her way up a large, steep mountainous hill that she was unfamiliar with, one that was close enough to Ponyville that she could quickly fly home from if she wanted to, and wasn't as tall or intimidating as others in the area. Normally, she would bring a pet, or two, or more with her, but Fluttershy's mind was filled with somber thoughts, and she needed her space and solitude for now. Ever caring for her animals, she had made sure they had everything they needed and were still asleep before leaving, not wanting them to feel unfulfilled or abandoned. She would come back, of course. She wouldn't have done all those things if she wasn't going to. Though sometimes, she thought...
A chilling wave crept over Fluttershy's vessel, and she shuddered, as if trying to deter the idea. In merely three weeks, it would be the anniversary of the day Fluttershy and her friends defeated Nightmare Moon with the Elements Of Harmony, whence they would meet to celebrate their victory and friendship. And one week after that was Fluttershy's birthday. It was a fact nopony else knew. It wasn't that they didn't care; she'd just never made mention of it. With all of the problems her friends had been having, Fluttershy saw her own concerns as unimportant. She would rather ignore her own birthday in favor of serving their needs somehow. Their circle had their fair share of ups and downs over time, as any group did, but lately it seemed to be getting worse than ever.
There were no threats to Ponyville, no giant monsters to confront, no dark forces at work, no catastrophes or disasters or anything of the sort. Merely personal disputes that gradually resurfaced repeatedly and festered with each return. Even after bonding closer at the Running Of The Leaves, Rainbow Dash and Applejack still bickered and competed fiercely on a regular basis. In spite of the Sisterhood Social, Rarity and Sweetie Belle were still at each other's necks night and day. And yet, although everyone reassured her the lack of constant punctuality would not be her undoing, Twilight Sparkle was still paranoid as ever about constantly pleasing and impressing Princess Celestia. It was one thing for everypony to relapse into an occasional bad habit only to break it again later, but this felt like sinking further in, more than ever before.
Fluttershy was well aware that nopony was perfect, let alone herself -- she still suffered the occasional, ill-placed angry outburst, or either spoke too softly or too infrequently, among many other things -- but being the constant mediator between every party was deeply exhausting her. What disturbed her the most, however, was how the meaning behind the recent Hearth's Warming Eve pageant seemed to fly completely over all their heads. Something Fluttershy was initially so afraid of and didn't even want to participate in ended up providing a profound discovery for her, a new appreciation of the bond she thought she had with her friends, and yet as soon as it was over, the arguments and the fighting already started again. It was... Embarrassing... Disgusting, even, somehow.
The downward spiral baffled her. Whatever happened to respect? To understanding? To sympathy? It seemed like these things were merely memories now, lingering ghosts Fluttershy wanted to reintroduce to the ones she cared about, but some invisible barrier prevented her from doing so. It wasn't fair. She knew they were all good people, with good intentions, wanting nothing but the best for each other, but differing perceptions and miscommunications were ruining it all. At this descending rate, how would their friendships and comfort with one another ever survive in time for the reunion? She feared soon their ties would be reduced to mere acquaintances who wouldn't want to be within each other's company.
Fluttershy squinted her eyes shut.
'I wish I could just stop time. That way I could get to everypony individually and work out all their problems one at a time. I'd really love to help them all at once, but that's just impossible. Or if I could turn back time to before all this fighting started and redo everything.'
She couldn't remember the last time she ever wanted something so badly.
Suddenly, something abruptly gripped her full attention. She wasn't sure what it was; just that she was aware of it somehow. It was as if Fluttershy was inside a room alone, and someone incredibly important just walked in. It made her fur slowly prickle and raise, standing on end, her now heavier heartbeat the only audible sound.
'It's like... Something's calling to me, somehow...'
Surveying her environment in bewilderment, Fluttershy simply continued to follow the strengthening internal sensations she was experiencing, with no apparent visual or auditory cues. Things only just started to make sense as soon as she stumbled upon a large, dark cave entrance; whatever this mysterious force was, it appeared to be beckoning to her from within there. She froze in place, knees quivering slightly as her paranoia took over for the moment.
'... What if something dangerous is waiting for me?...'
The pegasus took a deep breath, slowly inching closer, placing one hoof at a time in front of the other at a precarious, quiet pace. A strange glint was the first thing she noticed, thankfully not very far ahead; whatever it was, this was the source of her new predicament. Cautiously, Fluttershy reached out to gently lay her hoof on the object and roll it closer to her; it was a magnificent, piercing blue azure gem, in a towering diamond shape, almost the size of her entire wing. Blinking in surprise, she initially was unsure what to make of this find.
'Huh. Well, I suppose Spike would probably appreciate getting this, anyway...'
After a few moments of awkward fumbling and adjustment, Fluttershy managed to tuck the beautiful object beneath her wing, and started on her return back to Ponyville.
The rest of the trek back to town had so far been surprisingly pleasant. Fluttershy wasn't sure if it was getting to see the morning gloriously unfold on her way back down, or if the whole walk itself had helped her relieve some tension, or just the strange influence she thought this new object apparently had on her. It was like all of her problems were still there, and she could still worry about them, yet things were... Calmer... Somehow.
At least, they were until she spotted Rarity heading her way. Fluttershy groaned softly under her breath. She didn't dislike Rarity by any means, but right now she still wasn't in the mood to be around anypony; a few more hours at home, maybe playing with the animals or taking a short nap, should remedy that, she figured. It didn't help that her hooves were still quite sore (she would have flew all the way back down, but couldn't without discarding her discovery). Yet with what happened next, she almost wished she had.
As she drew closer, Rarity looked like she was in a desperate hurry. She was pulling a cart of some sort that was carrying a plethora of spectacular outfits that Fluttershy did not recognize; probably her latest works of art. It seemed as if Rarity was merely going to give her a glance and a smile while still frantically galloping, yet she gradually slowed to a stop before the pegasus, out of breath; Fluttershy stopped opposite of her, tilting her head sideways in legitimate concern.
"Good morning, darling!" Rarity chimed, just barely managing to hold back a sputtering cough.
"Good morning, Rarity. Is everything okay? You look pretty exhausted."
"Quite so," she replied with a brief sniffle. "I'm running late, I need to deliver this new clothing line I spent all of last week on to Photo Finish and -- "
Rarity abruptly stopped as soon as she noticed Fluttershy's parcel. Her eyes gleamed in deep interest.
"... What is that?"
"Oh, this?" Fluttershy looked back at the object wrapped in her wing. She extended it slightly so that Rarity could see it better.
"It's a jewel I found when I was walking this morning. I was going to give it to Spike, since he loves eating them so much, and this one seemed, well, special..."
Upon further inspection, Fluttershy noticed that even out of the shadow of the cave, it's magnificent blue shade remained the same, and was even dotted with moving, bright white specks, like stars in the night sky.
"Special? Special?!? You have no idea how special this is!!!" Rarity dropped her things and darted right in front of her, her eyes mere inches from the jewel. "Do you know how rare this is? How fabulous? How... How... How so utterly incredible I don't even know how to describe it in words? And you're -- going to feed it -- to Spike?!?"
Rarity sat on her hind legs, clasping her front hooves together as if in prayer, shaking them desperately in begging Fluttershy.
"Please, let me have this!!! I've been searching for it for years! I've looked everywhere and looked so hard, and finally, one morning, by dumb luck, you stumble upon it! Please, Fluttershy, this is VERY important to me! I would never be able to thank you enough! It's just the finishing touch I need on my masterpiece that's been incomplete all this time without it!"
Fluttershy was taken aback by this unexpected display of vigorous desire. Her ears lowered as she bit her lip, clearly uncomfortable with this dilemma.
"Well, Rarity, you know... I think... I think this time it might be nicer to just give it to Spike... Don't you remember the time he sacrificed that ruby he'd been saving for months to eat on his birthday because you wanted it? ... It was so nice of him, but I think he still feels bad about not getting to have it, even if he did like giving it to you... Oh, but, you did ask nicely, I guess, and -- "
"Exactly!!! All I want is this one -- and Spike can have all the other gems he wants!!! I'll even help find a whole bunch of them, if you just! Give! Me! This! One!"
Fluttershy grimaced in further discomfort, looking away bashfully. "W-well... Alright... You're right..."
Rarity soared into the air with a jump and an ear-splitting jovial cheer.
"Why, thank you!!! I'm forever grateful!!! Thank you so much, I --" she suddenly froze in place, remembering something.
"Oh no!!! I still have to get those dresses to Photo Finish!!! And --" she looked back at her cart, gasping in shock. "I won't have enough room to take it with me right now!" she groaned at this mishap, getting her things back together as she prepared to leave.
"Fluttershy, please be a dear and hang onto it for me until I come back. I'm afraid I'll be gone probably all day -- there's lots of business I have to take care of. I can count on you, right?"
Fluttershy nodded despondently. "Yes, Rarity. I'll look after it, I promise."
"Much obliged! I'll see you tonight, then!" with that, Rarity sprinted away, determined not to delay her work any longer.
Fluttershy sighed softly to herself, looking back at the object she had just given her friend.
'Poor Spike... He'll be very disappointed... Why does Rarity need this so bad, anyway? She has so many dresses and gems and everything, and... Ohhh, but she did say it was very important to her... Gah, this is so frustrating!!!'
With that, she began taking the quickest route home that she knew, avoiding everypony around her in an attempt to make sure she wouldn't be noticed. This failed when not too long after, she happened upon Twilight Sparkle, who herself was going home, apparently having gone out to pick up some breakfast for takeout from Sugarcube Corner. Fluttershy breathed in the sweet aroma, causing her mouth to salivate and her stomach to rumble.
Perhaps on the way back she would get a meal there herself, even if she didn't want to risk bouncing into the endlessly energetic Pinkie Pie, which she'd be unprepared for this early in the morning. If anything, at least she wouldn't feel so guilty about not giving the jewel to Spike, since whatever Twilight had apparently gotten him smelled delicious. She thought it was apple pie, perhaps something Applejack had sold to Sugarcube Corner.
Twilight greeted her with a warm, radiant smile. "Hey, Fluttershy. How are you today?"
"Oh, well, um, okay, I guess... I don't know, Twilight. I'm just not really feeling good right now."
Twilight gazed at her in concern. "What's the matter?"
Fluttershy opened her mouth to speak, wanting to talk about how everything with Twilight and the others getting in endless fights was constantly tearing her apart, but did not want to start another dispute, especially now.
"... I'm not sure how to describe it... I... I'll tell you later..."
"Well, okay. You know where to find me when you're ready."
Fluttershy softly sighed in relief under her breath, grateful Twilight wouldn't press on the matter, for now.
"So, what's going on?"
Twilight grinned. "Well, today I'm receiving a bunch of new books from Canterlot. I've been preparing for it all week, rearranging things in the library to make room for them in the proper places. Spike and I will be spending a lot of time working hard to get it done, so I wanted to make sure we had a big, full breakfast before we get started."
Fluttershy nodded, genuinely glad for her friend. "Oh, very good... I... I'm so glad Spike will have something nice to eat this morning, because I was going to give him this, but, um, Rarity saw it, and really wanted it..." she extended her wing slightly to once again reveal the mysterious jewel.
Twilight's jaw dropped in shock. Her pupils magnified, and she tried to speak, but nothing would come out. Fluttershy was bewildered at her reaction.
"Th-that... That, that that that that!!! I can't believe you have it!!!"
"Have what, Twilight?"
"It's the Panacea Crystal!!! One of the most important magical artifacts in all of Equestria!!! For the longest time ponies have claimed it to only be a legendary myth, but I knew it was real, and now you have it!" she squealed in exuberance, rearing up on her hind legs. "I've wanted to study this for so long! It's vital to my research! Princess Celestia would want it preserved in the Canterlot Museum Of Magical History!"
Fluttershy recoiled, feeling embarrassed and regretful, fearing a confrontation. "B-but Twilight! Didn't you hear what I said? Rarity already made me promise to give this to her..."
"For what, one of her dresses? Do you have any idea how insignificant that is compared to this?!? This is a historical artifact , Fluttershy! It's of the utmost importance that it falls in my care! You can't possibly be serious about giving this to her!"
Fluttershy winced further. They were both silent for a long, intense, awkward moment, until she released a defeated sigh. "... I can see why you'd need this, Twilight... But... Can we please at least wait until we get to talk to Rarity about it? I think, if we explained it, she would be understanding, and would be okay with letting you use it for your work..." her ear flapped, trying to think of more ideas. "Maybe, if you and Princess Celestia are okay with it, Rarity can use it, a-after you're done?... I think she'd appreciate that, anyways..."
Twilight scoffed bitterly. "Fine. Fine! We'll talk it over with Rarity. But I'm really not sure about letting her use it later. In fact, it might be a definite no in that regard, not just with me, but with the Princess as well. The Panacea Crystal is far too vital to be used for something as... Trivial as that."
Fluttershy felt a pang of melancholy in her heart. She could obviously get that the Panacea Crystal could be put to better use than a dress decoration if it was indeed as magical and important as Twilight claimed, yet wished she wouldn't minimize Rarity's interests and feelings so carelessly. It was things like this that were causing her so much heartache over all her friends lately.
Twilight seemed to somewhat notice this, as she placed a front hoof on Fluttershy's shoulder in reassurance. "Trust me. This item's magic is so powerful that it could change all of Equestria as we know it for the better. Sickness and suffering could become things of the past. It's better this way. You'll make the right decision giving it to me." She nodded, nonverbally respecting Fluttershy's choice to have both of them tell Rarity about it later.
"Besides, I still have to get all those books with Spike and everything today anyway..." she added in a grumpy murmur; despite accepting what transpired, Twilight appeared to still be sore over the idea of even considering giving it to Rarity.
As she departed, Fluttershy remained in place, racked with guilt over everpony's feelings. She wanted to make them all happy, but in so many situations, like this one, it was impossible to meet their desires. She hung her head, stooping her shoulders as she slowly trotted back to her home in the forest, the Panacea Crystal still under her wing.
As soon as she opened the door, Fluttershy was greeted by the various chirps, squeaks, and numerous other noises of the several animals she so greatly cared for. Each of them undoubtedly loved her, taking every opportunity to play or cuddle alongside their affectionate owner. Yet, as of late, they could periodically sense when she had wanted to be alone; right now was one of those times, and soon their energy died down to a slow, contained buzz.
The very first thing she did was head into the living room to gently and cautiously place the Panacea Crystal down on a table. She had noticed many of her numerous pets nearby had already run out of food, and got to work on refilling their bowls. They clamored in want, both hungry and happy to see Fluttershy again. Not too long after that, Angel, the white rabbit she normally took with her most often when out and about with a pet, hopped by and gently tugged on one of Fluttershy's hind legs.
She looked back at him with a warm smile. "I haven't forgotten about you, Angel." her soft, soothing voice was even more so comforting now that she felt just a little better being home with her animals.
She went to retrieve one of the lush carrots Angel loved so much, the sight of which caused him to jump around excitedly. He hadn't noticed behind him was one of the bird cages for the blue jays, and upon accidentally knocking it, the latch came undone and it's door flew open. The startled birds flew out in a panic, chirping frantically. This gradually got the surrounding animals more nervous as well, and their combined noise grew.
"Now, now, please, relax," Fluttershy pleaded, raising her voice only slightly to try to be heard above the panic.
One of the blue jays had swept down and swiped the carrot out of Fluttershy's hoof, causing Angel to be angered as he started leaping after it, intent on retrieving his treat. Fluttershy noticed that the chase was nearing the table, dangerously close to the Panacea Crystal.
"Angel, be careful!" Fluttershy exclaimed in alarm.
Immediately after that, Angel was mid-air, tackling the blue jay; in descending they knocked over the Panacea Crystal, which fell off the table and broke open, much of the middle shattered to pieces while the two pointed ends remained somewhat intact.
Fluttershy gasped. "Oh, NO!!!"
She desperately sled across the floor, prone as she tried to gather all the pieces back in one place, noticing that strange, glowing sands had flooded out from inside the crystal, adding to the broken pile. From everything that had happened, the animals all over the room were startled further, their loud complaints reaching a shrill volume.
'I'm such a klutz! I'm worthless! I promised two of my best friends that I would take extra special care of this crystal all day and as soon as I bring it home it gets shattered! My friends must think I'm so stupid and incompetent! I think they'll hate me and not want to be my friends anymore!'
Fluttershy felt tears start to freely flow from her eyelids. The moisture was blurring and clouding her vision. Each teardrop audibly hit the floor, one after the other in rapid succession, like a dripping faucet.
'Twilight Sparkle told me that this was really really really important! Even Princess Celestia wanted to look for it! Now she'll banish me somewhere in the Everfree Forest for sure! Maybe she'll even put me on the moon for hundreds of years like she did to her sister! I deserve it for ruining everything!'
Now she was sniffling, whimpering, trying to hold herself back from audibly crying, not wanting to distress the poor animals around her more than she already had. Her broken, choking sobs were trapped in her throat, struggling to escape her lips and clenched teeth.
'I'm so embarrassed, I can't stand it! I just want to disappear so I won't burden any of them ever again! Everything I ever try to do, no matter how much good I mean, I just completely mess it up and make it all worse! I hate myself so much, I have to be the worst pony in Equestria! I wish I could just be somepony, anypony but me, please! This can't be happening! I can't believe it, NO!'
The exclamations of all her pets were now reaching critical mass, to the point it was greatly hurting Fluttershy's ears, and she couldn't bear taking it for much longer. She hurriedly rubbed away her tears with a foreleg, eyes red and stingy, and tried to clear her throat as she stood back up, attempting to address them all.
"All of you, please! I'll take care of this! I promise!" With that, she started to sweep the glowing sand and broken pieces into the bigger open end of the crystal, resolving to attempt putting it back together the best she could later, after the mess was cleaned up and the pets calmed down. She closed her eyes for a moment... And everything stopped.
Fluttershy blinked in confusion. The entire room was dead silent. She looked across every animal, each one frozen in their expression of alarm, completely still, even in the air. Soon, she noticed something nearby her; the glowing sands she had swept were stuck in place as well, a visible cloud above the table. Her mouth agape in bewilderment, she approached it, poking it softly with her hoof, a few of the particles moving where it touched and staying where they remained after.
'Maybe... Maybe this is all just some crazy nightmare. Yes, that's right. I'm still asleep in bed, and I dreamed up all of this, finding this thing at the mountain and seeing Rarity and Twilight and all this happening. Now that... Time stopped... I must be almost ready to wake up...'
She sighed in relief, closing her eyes. Soon she turned around, walking toward her bedroom, only for a thick, violet smoke to emerge, startling her as she yelped and backed away. The billowing gas started to contort and shift into what looked like an unnaturally large and strong colt, although strangely it's hind legs and such appeared to be missing, replaced instead with an odd, ghost-looking "tail". Soon, the shape it had taken on turned into what appeared to be a solid form, albeit transparent.
"Ahhh, finally!" The dark colt exclaimed, sounding as if he'd just arrived somewhere from an incredibly long trip. He looked around Fluttershy's living room, floating in place, nodding a few times, as if approving of the stranger's home.
Fluttershy couldn't believe what she was seeing, shaking her head a few times. Weirdly enough, this all felt too real somehow to just be a bad dream. "Excuse me, but, who are you and what are you doing in my house?"
"Hmm? Oh, yes, I see." The colt cleared his throat. "My name is Vesper. I am a genie, and you are my new master. It appears that fate has chosen well for me, as from what I can see already, you are a pure soul, full of kindness and good nature. I would not have it any other way."
"... A... Genie?..." Fluttershy was taking her time processing all this. She had read and heard of fairytales involving genies before, but had never heard anyone claim them to be real, so she'd never expected to run into one, let alone know how accurate or not those stories were compared to the real thing. She beamed as she remembered something from earlier today.
"... Wait a minute... Earlier today, when I found your, uh, lamp, thing... I was thinking a lot about how I wanted to be able to help all my friends by, um, working with time... And... Well..." her glances darted around the room once more, with everything but her and Vesper completely stopped, "I can't help but notice that time has stopped, in this room, anyway... Was that... You making one of my three wishes come true, already?..."
Vesper seemed unable to help but chuckle softly. "No, no, it doesn't exactly work like that. Actually that had nothing to do with your wishes -- the time part, anyways. The sands that, as you've seen, were contained within my chamber, are responsible for various magical constructs that help make up the land of Equestria, one of them being what you ponies tend to perceive as 'time'."
Fluttershy nodded, still having difficulty completely accepting that everything happening to her right now was reality. "Oh... So... Why me?..."
Vesper was puzzled. "What? What do you mean, 'why you'?"
Fluttershy's eyes veered away bashfully. "I didn't just, find you... You were calling out to me, somehow... I was walking through the hills this morning, and, your, um... Chamber... Spoke to me, leading me to the cave it was in... That couldn't have been coincidence..."
Vesper rubbed his chin with a front hoof. "Hmm... Well, you're right, at least partially. My magical potential is so powerful that it can't be allowed to fall into the hands of just anyone. The only way that I can be found, or released, as you just did for me, is by experiencing strong emotions. My chamber sensed your heart crying out for the wellbeing of all your friends, and your deep, genuine care for them."
At this, Fluttershy felt a sense of relief wash over her. She always did really care about all of her friends, although her habit of trying to get everyone's side of the story lead to her being accused of picking sides or playing favorites. She never wanted to 'win' anything, she just wanted everyone to be happy. She'd gotten the feeling they thought that she didn't care about one or some of them for this, and sometimes she was even openly accused of it, which hurt even more, and caused her to somehow believe it herself, feeding her self-loathing. She shook her head, wanting to tend to the matter at hand.
"... And... Can I... Use the sands, to work around time, just a teensy, tiny, itty bitty little bit, pretty please, to help my friends?..." She wasn't even trying, but, Fluttershy's eyes had gotten large with her plea, fueled by her intense selfless desire.
For some reason, Vesper looked somewhat surprised by this. He stirred over this in his mind, as if worrying that it could be a bad idea somehow, but eventually nodded. "Alright. Well, technically, you're allowed to anyway, if you want that to be part of a wish or something." he groaned softly for a second, and rubbed his forehead. "Please excuse me... It's been so long since I've been out there, I'm getting headaches, and having trouble remembering things..."
Fluttershy's mouth slowly pulled into a large, ear-to-ear grin, her body trembling as a wave of blissful epiphany hit her.
'I can do it. I can really do it. Now I can.'
'I can stop time. I can go back in time. I can do anything. Do it so I can listen to everything all my friends have to say and talk about, help them do everything they need to, without any time passing at all, so everyone will be okay, all the time. This is great!!!'
"Be warned, though, to use the influence of the sands very cautiously. If you tamper with the world around you too much while experimenting with time, you could cause unforeseen ramifications. I would suggest not going too far in the past, no longer than a day at least, and leaving anything... Important... Generally untouched in such a state as this."
Fluttershy nodded in acknowledgment at Vesper's explanation, mulling over it in her mind.
'Okay... So who do we help first? Obviously I'll still need to talk to Twilight and Rarity about all this... Rainbow Dash? Applejack? Pinkie Pie? Ooh, so many friends, I can't decide!!!'
"So, I have another question..."
"What would that be?" Vesper replied.
Fluttershy slowly paced around the floor in thought at her new realization. "I was going to go myself to fix everything with my friends, but... If you're a genie, and you can grant wishes... Can't you just make everyone okay?"
Vesper paused, frowning. "Well, I would, except that my powers aren't allowed to work that way. They can't interrupt anyone's free will in any way. People's problems are a result of the choices they make, the choices others around them make that influence them, and the individual circumstances of their lives, like when and where they are born, and to what parents. Those kinds of things would need to be changed before they can feel better, not the other way around. Trying to tell them to feel something that they don't is like telling water not to be wet. It can't be helped."
Fluttershy's ears lowered. "Oh... That makes sense..."
"Is something wrong?"
"Well, it's just I never thought of looking at it that way, but, it's completely true... There are times when I've felt nervous or worried about things, and my friends would tell me I shouldn't feel that way... Or tell me not to feel sad, or bad, or upset, or angry... It doesn't change the way I feel... Actually, it makes it even worse... I know they mean well, it just never worked..."
The genie couldn't decide how to go about reassuring her. "Well, it's not really anyone's fault. I've had several thousand years in that chamber to ponder all sorts of things like this. It's just not always something that comes to mind, and it's not often taught or encouraged. How else could such well-meaning people do hurtful things that they're unaware of?"
Fluttershy only remained silent before softly nodding.
Vesper suddenly appeared awkwardly self-conscious. "Also, since you asked, there is, uh, something you should know. I am a genie, yes, I can do the wish thing, yes, but... I've served so many masters for so many years that my powers have weakened slightly. This isn't part of their rules, either, those were always there. Instead of having a set limit on the amount of wishes, I can grant you as many as you like, but they wouldn't be as grand scale as they could be were the situation reversed." He was clearly embarrassed.
"That's okay. It's still wonderful. Even if you could only grant me the smallest wishes out there, I'd still want you as a genie, because of what you said you saw in me. I've felt so unappreciated lately. I know my friends like me and everything, but, for someone to really see what I mean to do, helps greatly." Fluttershy smiled warmly at Vesper.
Vesper was perplexed. "Are you so sure about that? You only just met me a few minutes ago. How do you know you can trust me?" his forelegs were folded as he raised an eyebrow.
"... Well... I don't know, but... Everypony has a good side, and you've been super nice to me so far... I like to let others have a chance to prove themselves before I assume they're guilty. If I'm wrong, I'd regret it, but at least I'd know I gave it a try. Besides, honestly, I'd have no way of being able to tell good genies from bad ones..."
He couldn't help but answer with a brief, hearty laugh. "If you say so. In return for your kindness, I'd like to offer you this. If you ever, under any circumstances, feel unsafe or untrusting around me, I give you permission to completely disown me as your genie, and discard of my chamber far away where it can never reach you again. I promise I will not make any attempts towards reprisals or blame you if you make this decision." The declaration seemed almost half-jokingly stated, yet Fluttershy could pick up faint traces of seriousness in his voice.
Fluttershy's attention returned to the shattered Panacea Crystal on her living room floor and she grimaced. Could she maybe avoid the potential dispute between Rarity and Twilight Sparkle with this? She wasn't sure. Like genies, she hadn't read much on time travel, but, technically, she could rewind to before they even saw it in the first place. Or, at least, she thought she could. Fluttershy turned to Vesper again.
"If I want to turn back to before the crystal shattered, will it let me, even though the sands are still inside?"
"It should. What exactly did you have in mind?"
Fluttershy glanced to the sands and murmured, "Going to when I first found it in the first place..."
Vesper nodded. "Ah, yes. Yes, it will. Even before that if you wanted, but again, I advise caution."
"So, that means I have anything that I would take with me, then?"
"Exactly."
With her questions answered, Fluttershy resolved to retrieving a somewhat small brown pouch strung on a necklace and a slightly bigger green backpack from her room. Vesper seemed to catch on to what she was doing, as his demeanor was of wordless approval as Fluttershy cautiously and awkwardly swept the sands with her tail into the pouch, promptly tying it shut. She glanced at the genie again.
"Do I just -- "
"Press the sands close to you and concentrate hard on what you're aiming for."
Fluttershy obeyed, closing her eyes as she strained her mind to clearly conjure the image of her desires to the best of her ability. Within moments, the Panacea Crystal had pieced itself back together, and lifted off the floor back onto the table in it's original position. Fluttershy opened her eyes and scanned her surroundings; time was still frozen, but the animals were noticeably calmer, having not been as startled by the crash. Quizzically, Vesper gently pried a carrot from the immobile, airborne blue jay's talons and tucked it between Angel's now-clasped forepaws.
Fluttershy gasped in disbelief. It felt so strange to see that the object she had lost her calmness over was now completely repaired. She was more used to the permanence of regular time and reality, and felt overwhelmed and unprepared by the potential this new object held. Nevertheless, she was soon overcome by the predominant importance of her goal.
"I'm ready to do this."
Not long after, Fluttershy already managed to go all the way back to whence she first found the Panacea Crystal, donning the sand-filled pouch and empty backpack. Soon, she placed the artifact inside, double checking to make sure it was snugly closed and fit against her, not wanting the backpack to come loose and drop it in mid-flight. Once she was sure, Fluttershy concentrated her efforts once again, and time halted to a stillness once more; she didn't want anypony to witness this, fearing their discoveries could potentially hinder her efforts to mend her broken friendships.
She then embarked on one more short walk to the very top of the hill; she would outright fly, but was afraid that the constant motion of her wings against the backpack could open it, so she needed a high enough altitude to be able to merely glide as close back to her house as she could; in spite of literally having all the time in the world, she was literally in a hurry, wanting to tend to her friends as soon as possible. As she took off and started to head back, Fluttershy came to a groundbreaking realization;
She was alone.
Sure, she had friends. And she did live within the immediate vicinity of a decently populated village. But she felt alone. It was entirely different.
She felt alone even around Twilight Sparkle and the rest of their companions. She felt alone surrounded by people, even at parties and special occasions. She felt alone in streets, stores, restaurants, theaters, libraries, everywhere she went, everywhere she could think of. It constantly followed her, and there was no escape.
She felt misunderstood. Whenever she was upset or hurt in any way and tried to explain it, somepony would claim to know how she felt, and tell her that she wasn't alone. But this only made Fluttershy feel even more alone. They weren't living in her body, walking in her hooves, thinking her thoughts and feeling her emotions. Only she knew her own feelings.
Fluttershy loved and cared about her friends, as she knew they did the same for her, and their ties were noticeably mutually beneficial enough that it was conducive to preserve it, even if only for her own sake. But there was a silent wall, an unseen barrier, that restricted them from connecting at some specific points. In constantly feeling misunderstood, it was like their relationships couldn't meet their full potential; and, perhaps, it impaired her ability to be as good a listener and facilitator. She frowned as this sparked a new idea; had she possibly caused any of them to feel this same way? Fluttershy would never mean to, of course, but then again, many of her friends' unnoticed transgressions were unintentional as well.
Perhaps this pain and disappointment was what caused her to often prefer the company of the several woodland creatures she served as a guide and guardian for. Those animals were incapable of lying or hiding secrets. They could not cheat, or hurt one another on purpose, or use or deceive each other into working for false causes disguised as meaningful acts. Unable to do terrible things that she had seen too many ponies do, either out of bad morale or succumbing to such vices at times. Fluttershy couldn't help but bitterly scoff upon realizing the irony that she found the wild and primitive more civilized and honorable than even the highest social class of her fellow ponies.
Even now as she looked down on them from above, she somewhat managed to see the effects of such harm on Ponyville's other denizens. Faint traces of fatigue and malcontent at beginning another working day, ponies glaring at one another behind each other's backs, parents scolding and discouraging their children. Along the way, Fluttershy briefly got to peer through some windows of her friends and acquaintances, noticing Rarity oversleeping from another tiresome bout of perfecting her dresses even past midnight and Twilight Sparkle consoling a reluctant Spike about their laborious tasks for the day. Perhaps before starting where she planned, she would help them in some way.
Fluttershy reached the ground, a short distance from her house in the woods. She went inside, going to her room and placing the backpack containing the Panacea Crystal under her bed, still keeping the pouch with her. She then left and returned to Ponyville, concentrating her efforts with the sands to unfreeze time before she knocked on Rarity's front door. After waiting a few moments to receive no response, she heard Rarity stir in her room from the second floor, her hooves trekking downstairs and opening the door to greet Fluttershy, clad in a purplish-pink robe.
"My goodness, Fluttershy! You scared me for a moment, I didn't know who'd come here this early! What can I do for you? Is everything alright?"
Fluttershy blushed softly and stirred her hoof on the porch. She murmured, "Yes, everything's fine, I just wanted to say good morning..."
Rarity smiled. "How delightful. I'm charmed. I'm so very glad you woke me -- if I'd slept any longer, I wouldn't be able to get ready in time to get my latest fashion line to Photo Finish in time! I'm so sorry, but I have to start preparing right now in order to get there on time! You're welcome to come in and make yourself at home, if you like."
Fluttershy nodded gratefully. "Thanks, Rarity..." she took her friend up on her offer, entering the house as Rarity trotted back up the stairs, galloping all across her home this way and that, doing her hair, putting on makeup, and getting dressed.
Fluttershy had gone into the kitchen and started to make herself a cup of green tea, setting an additional one aside in case Rarity would want one. The next time she saw her going down the stairs, nearly finished preparing for the day, she chimed, "Hey, Rarity... Would it help you save time if I helped you bring the dresses to Photo Finish?"
Rarity beamed. "That's a splendid idea!" she rushed over to hug Fluttershy, startling her. "Thank you so much, my dear Fluttershy! This means so much to me!"
Fluttershy barely managed not to spill the green tea still in hoof, chuckling softly. "Of course, Rarity... Anything for my friends..."
There was enough time saved that Fluttershy was able to get Rarity a cup, mixed with chamomile and vanilla chai teas, to help sooth her frayed nerves. Between the two of them, they were able to deliver Rarity's work in half the time it would have taken. Fluttershy would have merely stopped time for the two of them, but wasn't sure if Rarity was ready to see something like that so suddenly. Still, Fluttershy's heart warmed at the sight of Rarity so grateful and joyous upon arriving whence she intended to. They bade each other farewell for now, and Fluttershy approached her next destination; Sugarcube Corner.
Just in time for her arrival, she noticed her mutual friend, Twilight Sparkle, entering the bakery simultaneously. They both imparted greetings upon one another, briefly explaining how their mornings were going so far, with Fluttershy's details being vague, for reasons known only to herself. Further into the short conversation, Twilight Sparkle had asked Fluttershy what was inside the pouch around her neck, to which she claimed was bird seed she'd picked up from a few stores away. She felt bad for lying, but wasn't prepared to go through the whole excitement over the discovery of the Panacea Crystal with Twilight again just yet. In reflection, Fluttershy was surprised Rarity hadn't noticed it, with her keen eye for all clothing and their state. Soon after, Twilight hurriedly bought her things and left, not wanting to further delay her likely laborious session of reshelving books with Spike, clearing the way for Pinkie to come into view, who had been trying to wave at and call after both ponies in between helping customers.
Now was the time for Fluttershy to work with her newfound abilities again. She had decided to individually counsel Pinkie Pie first out of guilt for wanting to avoid her earlier. Her initial idea was to get all five ponies together for a group talk in frozen time, but after thinking about it for a while she feared it might escalate into a nasty argument. Before leaving her house, Fluttershy had talked with Vesper and asked him a few more questions in regard to the sands and their powers; they'd even established a mental connection through which they could discreetly talk. When Vesper asked if he could tag along, Fluttershy denied, worried he would startle her friends, although they agreed he could appear if they found it necessary.
Fluttershy's gaze fixated on the exuberant Pinkie Pie, and her eyes narrowed. 'If I wanted to, could I stop time and have her and I as the only ones unaffected?'
'Yes, you can,' Vesper replied, his voice unheard to all ponies save Fluttershy.
With that answer, she rested a hoof on the pouch once more and focused, until nothing moved except for Pinkie Pie -- who, to her surprise, burst out into laughter and nearly fell over.
Confused, Fluttershy blinked and trotted closer to the counter, peering over to see her reeling friend.
"What's so funny, Pinkie Pie?"
"Oh, you and Twilight just pulled off the best prank ever, Fluttershy! Look at all those ponies stuck in place! They look so silly!" the pink pony giggled as she wiped a joyous tear from her eye.
Fluttershy backed up slightly. "But, it's not a joke, Pinkie Pie... Look out the window..."
As soon as Pinkie got back on her hooves, she did, finding Twilight immobile, still carrying her baked goods back to her own house.
Pinkie raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Then what is it, then?" she asked, scratching her mane.
"It's... Well... Magic..." Fluttershy murmured, just now realizing she hadn't thought of how she'd explain it.
"But, how did you get" -- Pinkie Pie gasped abruptly, illuminating -- "Wow, maybe you're an alicorn!!! Like Princess Celestia or Princess Luna!!! You'd have wings and -- but wait, then, where's your horn?"
Fluttershy blushed, turning away slightly. "It's not like that, Pinkie..."
"But, then, where did you get magic from?"
"Please, just slow down for a minute. It's not important right now." Fluttershy cleared her throat, swallowing an intangible knot of nervousness. "There's... Been a lot on my mind lately... Things I've wanted to talk to you and the others about. It means a lot to me. Have you noticed that, maybe... I don't know... We don't all seem as close as we used to be?..."
Pinkie immediately calmed to a stillness, her mane and tail remaining puffy, but her expression and demeanor dimming significantly.
"Actually, yes! It's gotten me really worried, too! I mean, as far as I know, nopony has problems with me, and I have no problems with them, but they still have problems with each other! It's really saddening. I just wish everypony could get along as much as they used to. I used to think we were all inseparable, but, but..."
Fluttershy nodded grimly. "I've thought so too. It's frustrating. Depressing."
"And, sometimes, I think they might have problems with me after all. I actually was going to throw a party for them really soon -- unrelated to the celebration of Nightmare Moon's defeat -- because everypony always has fun at my parties and I thought it would help cheer them up and get them to feel better, but whenever I started to suggest it, they got mad, so I thought they wouldn't want to come!"
Even though Fluttershy could never completely keep up with Pinkie's vibrant energy, she was able to recognize the all too familiar pain of sadness lingering within her. Something she knew everypony suffered, but... Could she reach out and help her through their mutual feelings?
"I'm so glad that you're always wanting to help everypony, Pinkie. That's what I try to do, too. I just... I just want to apologize if sometimes I might have hurt your feelings on accident. I always try not to, but, sometimes it just happens, and I don't see it... I didn't think of it until a little while ago." Fluttershy's ears lowered and her eyes veered in shame. "I just wish I'd seen it sooner."
Pinkie didn't respond for a long moment, her reaction seemingly unreadable, until she somberly smiled.
"It's okay, Fluttershy! I know you're really sensitive. That's why I've never played any pranks on you. Sometimes they can be fun, but not if they're hurting people's feelings. Like when Gilda was here. I didn't set those pranks, but, they still hurt her feelings, too."
Fluttershy nodded in agreement. "I think... I think it's because nopony feels respected when they feel laughed at, or made fun of... It... Hurts..."
Only at this did Pinkie's mane and tail finally hang in a straightened, drooping manner.
"... And I'm the Element Of Laughter... Some Element Of Harmony, huh?..."
Fluttershy noticed her reaction, worried she had unintentionally hurt Pinkie yet again. She gently placed her hoof on Pinkie's shoulder.
"Except, with you, it's different... You're not laughing at them, you're laughing with them... Using your pranks, parties, games, sweets, and toys to help heal them..."
Pinkie slowly smiled again, and nodded in acknowledgment. "Yes... That's right..." she gradually drew a deep breath, and exhaled, slightly relaxing.
At this, Fluttershy felt her stomach rumble; she'd completely forgotten how hungry she had been all this time. She wasn't going to bring it up, not wanting to derail this important conversation, but the noise hadn't escaped Pinkie's notice.
The mare raised a hoof to her chin. "Oh, my goodness! You're starving, aren't you? Here, I'll make you something to eat! We can still talk while I'm doing it. I've gotten good at concentrating on other things while I bake!" with that, she dragged Fluttershy back into Sugarcube Corner's kitchen.
"Y-you don't have to, Pinkie Pie," Fluttershy stammered, "but... I'd really appreciate it..." she added with a soft mumble.
As soon as they were standing before the oven Pinkie was all too familiar with, Pinkie started scratching her mane in bewilderment. "How am I going to bake something when time's stopped?"
This legitimately dumbfounded Fluttershy as well. She had somehow been able to get Pinkie Pie to be able to move with her in this otherworldly state. Did she just need to focus on the oven as well? Fluttershy then remembered Vesper's warning of not "touching anything too important" while she froze time -- that could potentially include this oven. She looked down into her pouch of sands.
"That's what you used to do it, right?" Pinkie pointed out quizzically.
"Well, yes..."
"You think we can just sprinkle some on this oven and it'll move too?"
Fluttershy bit her lip. "I'm not so sure that's such a good idea, Pinkie Pie -- "
"Well, we'll just have to see for ourselves!" Pinkie exclaimed as she scooped a hoof-full of the sands out and tossed them the oven's way.
Fluttershy gasped in shock, expecting the worst; instead, the sands seemed to vanish in thin air, and the oven magically hummed to life at Pinkie's touch, who smiled widely at her proved hypothesis.
Fluttershy released a sigh of relief at the lack of a catastrophe.
"So, why did you make everything stand still in the first place again?"
Fluttershy beamed. "Oh, well, I wanted to get the chance to talk to you without any interruptions. Without schedules or other things getting in the way. Like I knew you'd be working at Sugarcube Corner today, and I didn't want to get you in trouble with your job, or catch you all tired after work..."
Pinkie tilted her head with a smile. "Aww, how thoughtful of you! That makes all the sense in the world, now that you put it that way!"
Fluttershy blushed softly. "Yes, um, well, I'm hoping to do that with everypony else once we're... Finished talking..."
Pinkie was already fishing out the ingredients necessary for Fluttershy's treat, which she recognized soon enough; she was making a lemon meringue pie. All of a sudden, she hearkened back to one of the last great times she remembered having with her friends, somewhere around four months ago. It felt like only just yesterday, and at the same time so far off, like it happened years back.
Pinkie had invited Fluttershy and the rest of their friends over to her house for a meal. There was no discernable special occasion calling for it. It wasn't a holiday, or anypony's birthday, or a noticeable celebration of any sort. When they questioned her on it, Pinkie told her friends that she deeply enjoyed being around all of them; she was so glad to have such nice friends, and wanted to take this moment to remind them all of that.
Everything was fresh, and exquisitely delicious. She had made a special, unique treat for each individual; one of Pinkie's seemingly unspoken talents was her affinity of being able to match tastes with personality traits. She could quickly acquire a keen understanding as to what everypony liked and disliked, able to recommend various dishes to them based on what they already favored, something which they always came back to thank her for later after trying her suggestions. She had taken the vocation of baking and cooking and turned it into a form of art, pouring her heart out into the rest of the ingredients essential to each delight.
Whether big or small, taking long or short to make, for special or casual reasons, every confection received equally immaculate care from Pinkie's masterful hooves. Fluttershy remembered feeling envious of Pinkie Pie for being able to find a living that she was just as talented at as she enjoyed doing it. When they all met with her that day, she showed her love and appreciation for all her friends through baking them treats that showed them what she saw in them all.
Rainbow Dash had gotten a special pie that Pinkie tried to contain as many colors in as possible; red cherries, green limes, blueberries, purple grapes, yellow apples, complete with the rainbow splendor of the zap apples that rarely appeared on The Apple Farm; just for this particular pie, Pinkie desperately begged Applejack to let her help in harvesting the apples, wanting to contribute her share in exchange for getting to use some. She wanted to capture and bring to life the way Rainbow Dash made every single day feel brand new, fun, interesting, exciting; her zest for life and wanting to help all her friends have fun. There was never a dull, boring moment with Rainbow Dash; she was just as thrilling and awesome as she was caring and kindhearted.
Twilight Sparkle had gotten a pie that was just as delicious as it was full of contrasting flavors, each ingredient as healthy and mindful as could be, nourishing her mind, body and soul while setting her taste buds ablaze with joy and wonder. Pinkie had gone through all the trouble of reading up on which ingredients to use in order to make it work, and spent countless nights experimenting with brand new recipes she conjured from the combinations until she found one that tasted just like Twilight. Pinkie explained that she meant to portray how Twilight always put a lot of thought and care into her every single decision, how she would never give up until she found out how to solve a problem, especially if it meant helping her friends. She would do whatever it took, no matter how long she would spend doing it.
Applejack had gotten a varied plethora of treats baked with the use of apples; Pinkie had precariously studied the Apple Family's recipes that she borrowed from Granny Smith, putting her own spin on things to make them even sweeter and taste a little different in her own, unique, Pinkie Pie way. Her food had taken the longest to make; she told Applejack that this was to show how hard Applejack always worked for the benefit of everypony, willing to drop everything at the drop of a hat to help her friends, even if the task in question was daunting beyond imagination. She wanted to return the favor by treating Applejack to a large feast to make up for all the effort she was dishing out on everypony's behalf.
Rarity had gotten a large, towering cake with several layers, each lavishly decorated, with every detail aspiring to match the same beauty they held in sight as they did in tasting great. It was to recreate the big heart Rarity had in assisting everypony, regardless of who they were or where they came from, even if she didn't like them or disagreed with them. She was especially insistent on always helping those less fortunate than herself. Pinkie added that Rarity's creativity, appreciation of goodness, and her ability to see the positivity in everything and everypony were other qualities she tried to add into her cake. However, Rarity took not even a single bite; instead, she burst into tears, bawling and hugging Pinkie tightly, refusing to eat it and instead wanting to preserve it for it's radiant magnificence; to this day, it's still in her house.
And finally, Fluttershy herself had gotten a lemon meringue pie; Pinkie Pie had claimed that it was supposed to taste every bit as sweet as Fluttershy herself was, the vibrant yellow lemons aiming to display that Fluttershy was able to make even the rainiest, cloudiest, darkest day feel like one brimming with bright sunshine, warming everypony to the very core in how she cared about them all more than anything else.
They all were deeply touched by Pinkie's efforts. They rejoiced in her gifts to them, never remembering a time they'd ate anything they enjoyed more, indulged in memories of fun times with one another, laughed and shared jokes and games, and complimented one another on everything they contributed to each other's lives.
It was the best meal they ever had.
Fluttershy wiped tears away at the sweetest of memories. A pang of warmth hit her heart as even now Pinkie was working away at creating the same lemon meringue pie she had strived so hard to make match what she saw in her.
"I wish things were how they used to be, Pinkie."
"Yeah. Me too."
Fluttershy suddenly had a thought. "Pinkie?"
"Yes?"
"Do you feel understood by me?"
"Yes. Well, most of the time. I think you understand me more than anypony else, anyways."
Fluttershy frowned softly. "... I would like to understand... Understand how you feel, what you think, what you want..."
Pinkie gently smiled. "Thank you for that. I know you try. You try really hard."
Fluttershy sighed. "It's so frustrating. It's like... All we can do is tell each other things. Give each other information. And the rest of it is everypony's individual perception. We have no way of knowing how much they really understand about us, because we can't literally walk into their body, put their brain in our head, see what they're seeing and think their thoughts... I wish... I wish there was a way to understand, for sure."
Pinkie nodded, seemingly enlightened by this sentiment. "I agree. That would be really, really, really nice!"
"I think, part of the problem I've noticed, is that usually, when people are talking to each other... They're forming their responses in their head while the other person is still talking. Instead of actively listening. And trying to understand. Clarifying."
Pinkie's ears lowered. "Gosh, you're so right! I don't know why I haven't thought of that! But I feel it, a lot!"
Fluttershy remained silent for a long moment, and replied softly. "Do you want to try something with me, Pinkie?"
"What's that?"
"I want to try to understand some more. So... You can talk to me, about whatever you want. I'll listen. And I'll try to understand. And... And... You can list words describing how you feel to me, one at a time, and rate them from zero to ten. And we can figure out what we can do to get good feelings closer to ten, and bad feelings closer to zero."
Pinkie nodded. "... Yeah... That sounds really nice..." she took a deep breath once more, and exhaled.
"You can tell me whenever you're ready. I won't judge you. Or tell you what to do. You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to."
"Alright. Thanks. But, first... I have an important question."
"What is it, Pinkie?"
Pinkie gazed at Fluttershy, looking just as curious and confused as she was saddened and longing. "Nopony seems to know, but I've always wanted to... When's your birthday, Fluttershy?"
This caught her off guard. She'd hoped that nopony would ever ask her. She grew quiet, shrinking, wanting desperately to just disappear and avoid it altogether.
"Are you okay?" Pinkie added, visibly concerned.
"Yes... Well... No... But... Everything will be okay. I promise. I just... I don't really want to talk about it. I don't like celebrating my birthday."
"Don't like celebrating your birthday?!?" Pinkie didn't mean to exclaim so loudly, but she was too surprised to contain herself. "Why? What... What do you do on your birthday, then?..."
Fluttershy closed her eyes.
'I didn't want to think of this. Not right now.'
Every year, on her birthday, Fluttershy would stay home. It was the hardest day for her to get out of bed. She would even almost completely ignore her animals, doing just the bare minimum required to take care of them for the day (feeding, bandaging, etc.), something which she would always spend the next few weeks after desperately trying to make up for. She wouldn't set hoof outside except for this purpose. Or to sit on her roof, watching, waiting. Waiting for somepony, anypony, to remember, to visit her for that reason.
When she was still a young filly, she had one day fallen out of Cloudsdale, just minutes before Rainbow Dash performed her Sonic Rainboom for the first time. She landed in the forest outside of Ponyville, where she built her house. Sure, she'd made friends with all of the small woodland animals that she'd rescued or helped, but nopony she knew from Cloudsdale, not even her family, even so much as tried to look for her. Only Rainbow Dash cared at all, and even then, they were only mere acquaintances at the time. When she first set hoof in Ponyville, almost nopony noticed her or bothered to even strike up a conversation. Nopony except Twilight Sparkle and the rest of her friends.
She felt unimportant. She felt ignored. If nopony from her home even missed her... Not even her own family... How could she ever be important to anypony? Why even acknowledge her birthday at all? It wasn't something to celebrate for her. It had only become a reminder of how much loneliness, pain, and emptiness had always outweighed any joy or warmth she felt, from the very first day she was born. Her very existence had become an insignificant blight. She hated to be reminded, and would completely ignore her birthday every year as a result.
'Nopony even missed me...'
"I... I really... I'm just not ready to talk about it yet, Pinkie. I'm sorry." Fluttershy hung her head.
Pinkie somberly trotted over and gently nudged Fluttershy. "It's okay. If you don't want to tell me when your birthday is, I'll respect that. But, just so you know, I'd still like to celebrate it, if you ever do feel like telling me. You're too important of a friend to not have a special day, just for you." Pinkie smiled at her warmly.
"Thank you, Pinkie... But enough about me. Let's talk about you. If you're ready, that is."
"Alright. Well..." Pinkie took another deep breath; she wasn't so used to talking about so many serious things like this. "I think sometimes I might get on everypony's nerves without meaning to. Like how I thought nopony would want to go to my party before the annual one. I don't really understand why. There's already so much pain and sadness and gloom and doom going on without everypony having to worry about their problems. That's why I want them to relax and have fun; to forget everything that's bothering them, to giggle all their ghosties away."
Pinkie closed her eyes for a moment, suddenly squinting like she just felt some sharp pain emerge. "M-my own parents, they, they didn't get the chance to have a lot of fun in their lives. When they passed on, there was still so much left to do, so much they wanted to experience and enjoy, that they never got the chance to. Most of their lives were spent on that Rock Farm, suffering, toiling, working joylessly every day. I know they didn't want me to end up like them. They wanted me to get the chances they couldn't. So, even if I couldn't help my parents have more fun, at least I could do that for everypony else... That's why I try to live every day like there's no tomorrow. Life is too short to spend it all passing up opportunities only to regret it later."
Pinkie blinked suddenly. "But, nopony ever tells you what to do if it ISN'T your last day! Like, what if you spent yesterday going around eating aaallllll the cakes in Equestria, and then everypony gets mad at you because you ate all their cake and you can't afford to pay for it all plus you have a huge tummyache and your belly's even bigger than that time Spike got greedy on his birthday and stormed around Ponyville taking everything and it takes you forever to get anywhere because you can't see where you're going with your big fat bouncing belly always getting in the way?!?"
Fluttershy raised an eyelid, bewildered by this sudden departure.
Pinkie Pie blushed. "Eh heh... Sorry, I was getting off track."
"That's okay, Pinkie... There was actually something I wanted to say... Um, if you don't mind, that is..."
"Okay!"
"The whole thing about... Giggling with the ghosties... It's a nice idea, when it works and everything, but, something about it... Bothers me..." Fluttershy suddenly became really defensive, shrinking back further, her pupils shrinking. "N-not that there's anything wrong with doing it, if that's what works for you and it's what you want to do and everything!!!"
It was Pinkie's turn to be confused. "That's okay, but, what do you mean something about it bothers you?"
Fluttershy bit her lip, afraid of offending Pinkie. "Well... Sometimes it might seem like when you say to giggle at the ghosties, or just try to only laugh at what you're afraid of or what's worrying or bothering you... Other people might think you're not taking their feelings seriously, and they might hurt even more... Like that time Twilight Sparkle was so upset over not getting a letter to Celestia on time... It didn't seem really important to us, but that didn't make it any less important to her... So I guess what I'm trying to say is... It's one thing to try to enjoy what you can and focus that instead of on the bad things in your life... But... If it gets to the point that you're putting off important problems, and they build up and become worse... Then it can get bad..."
Pinkie looked enlightened yet again. "Wow, you're right! I mean, I never meant for it to sound like that -- of course everypony's feelings are important, and everything -- but what I was trying to say is, sometimes the things that bother you are things that can't be controlled at all. Like something Celestia or someone bigger or more powerful than you does. Or when something you don't like happens that wasn't anypony's fault, like accidents. When those kind of uncontrollable problems pop up, sometimes all you can do is 'giggle at the ghosties'."
Fluttershy was equally caught off by this reply. "I... I agree. That's completely true." She looked away slightly. "I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings by not realizing that first, Pinkie Pie..."
Pinkie smiled. "It's okay! We don't have to agree on every single teensy-weensy little thing in order to get along! Like, I might like chocolate more than lollipops, and you might like lollipops more than chocolate, but that's just fine! How boring would life be if everypony agreed on everything all the time? Just as long as we share the right things in common -- wanting to be nice to one another, and be happy, and live life to the fullest. I think everypony could want that!"
Fluttershy nodded. "Still... If I have hurt your feelings at all... I'm still sorry... I never want to hurt anyone..."
Pinkie tilted her head curiously. "Really, it's fine! I know that you mean well and everything. Is that what you're afraid of the most? Hurting other people?"
Fluttershy shuddered, her voice suddenly stolen away. Hurting others was something she was concerned about often, but it wasn't what hounded her the most. She feared many things, but only one caused her more pain than all of them combined. It wasn't her shadow, or dragons, mountains, or even dying. What she feared the most was dreaming. Hoping. Having goals, aspirations, wishes. She would constantly dream about a perfect life, a perfect world -- everypony getting along, all the time, every day, no matter what -- but it didn't matter that she gave it her best effort all the time. No matter what, it was a dream that would never come true. She was discouraged from ever trying to pursue anything that meant that much to her.
And yet... Here she was with these sands that held time itself, and a genie who could grant endless amounts of contained wishes from within the Panacea Crystal. Perhaps... Could she finally make her dreams come true? She snuffed out the thought as soon as it entered her mind. She wouldn't dare even think of it as possible. But despite it all, the potential continued to claw away at the very back of Fluttershy's mind.
So, she lied to Pinkie. "Yes. Hurting people is what I'm most afraid of." It was high up there on her list, but not as much as...
"I can understand. Hurting people is something I'm afraid of, too. But, if you want, I'll tell you what I fear most, too. Believe it or not, it's... Boredom. I think it came from spending so much time on that rock farm. Every day was exactly the same. It felt so meaningless... Repetitive... I kept asking myself, 'Dear Celestia, is this it? Is this all there is for me to do? Is there anything else out there in the world for me? Is there anything more to life than this?' I don't mean to sound selfish, but, sometimes I think boredom is the worst disease or thing ever, even worse than death! It ate up all the life out of my parents, and it nearly got me, too..."
Fluttershy listened intently. They continued talking for what felt like hours. It was only a little while left until the lemon meringue pie was done; they shared the entire pie between the two of them, it's absolutely delightful flavor just as enriching to their taste buds as it was to their conversation. When Pinkie finally got around to listing and rating her individual emotions on a scale between zero and ten, Fluttershy was surprised to find they shared two feelings, ignored and unimportant, towards other ponies; it hadn't been the first time, as Pinkie had been frustrated with these on numerous occasions.
One time was when she was trying to help save Ponyville from parasprites, and everypony else wouldn't listen when she insisted musical instruments were vital to this process. Another was when Twilight refused to believe that she had a "Pinkie Sense" that could foretell the near future. Then there was everypony avoiding Gummy's After Birthday, although that ended up being because there was a surprise party for Pinkie herself. Yet another time was when Mr. and Mrs. Cake had asked everypony else to babysit their children, Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake, before asking Pinkie herself, their own loyal, hard working employee.
Even so, Fluttershy was able to help partially reassure Pinkie Pie that she was important to her friends. Her delightful, bubbly, cheery disposition on life and the world as well as her frequent tendencies of endlessly seeking fun and excitement provided a much-needed flow of joy in all their hearts. She was surprised by how much the two of them had in common; many discernible differences, sure, but both were constantly active in promoting the wellbeing of all their friends, and sometimes shared the same struggles. Finally, when it seemed that all was right, Pinkie asked Fluttershy yet another question she wasn't quite ready for.
"So, just how did you get all this magical stuff, anyhow?"
Fluttershy froze, unsure of how Pinkie would take the news. She explained to her what happened when she found the Panacea Crystal, and first discovered it's powers, as well as the genie colt lingering inside it. Pinkie's pupils widened along with her smile with every passing moment as Fluttershy revealed more details.
"Wow, that's so cool!!! Can I see your Mr. Genie? Please, please, pleeeaaase?"
Fluttershy recoiled slightly. 'I-if he startles her, I can always just rewind time to before that point and say no instead...' shrugging nervously, she closed her eyes and focused.
'Vesper, can you hear me?'
'Yes, I can, Fluttershy.'
'You can come out here if you want to. Pinkie would like to see you.'
Immediately, Vesper popped into view, a billowing cloud of smoke shredding away from his being as he grinned at Pinkie Pie. Pinkie excitedly clapped her hooves together.
"Omigosh!!! You're real!!! A real genie!!!"
"That would be me," he chuckled in reply. "Vesper the genie, at your service," he added with a graceful bow.
Pinkie started hopping and bouncing around the kitchen in limitless jubilation. "This is the greatest thing ever!!! Your very own genie, to do whatever you want!!! Ooh! Ooh! Maybe -- maybe he can do something really fun! Like turn the clouds into chocolate-raining cotton candy like the time Discord was here!"
Fluttershy's blood briefly turned to ice at the very mention of Discord's name, but soon she calmed down. She knew Pinkie Pie in no way approved of Discord's malicious actions, even if she found some of his alterations of Ponyville to be very amusing. Fluttershy merely smiled softly.
Vesper released another hearty laugh. "I'm afraid I can't do anything that complex, in terms of affecting much of the outside world. But, I can alter your perception of it to make things a little more fun. Would you like to see?"
Pinkie nodded eagerly. "Yes, yes!!! Please, yes!!!"
Without warning, reality itself was ripped away from their senses, replaced instead with a sensation of falling. Fluttershy yelped and shut her eyes, trying to desperately flap her wings, but to no avail... Only for a soothing sense of reassurance to fill her being. Once she opened her eyes, she saw the kitchen of Sugarcube Corner they were standing in replaced with an endless outdoors paradise of a beautiful pink sky, the kind that usually arrived only just before sunset. The ground beneath them was made up of various candies, confections and treats ballooned into colossal form.
Whenever their hooves touched it, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie would bounce up high towards the next nearest food; sailing through the air was somehow exciting and relaxing all at once. Their nostrils were filled with the precious aroma of freshly baked goods of all kinds, and Pinkie happily lapped and chewed at anything appealing within her reach; rivers of chocolate milk, islands of ice cream and cookies, streets of candy bars. All the while Vesper calmly floated alongside them, pleased by their amusement. Fluttershy was having a hard time hanging onto reason, although she somehow managed; this felt more like her wildest dream than actual reality.
Pinkie couldn't stop laughing hysterically in between bites, chews, slurps and swallows. "Omigosh, this is perfect!!! I want to stay here forever!!! Are you sure you don't know Discord or something? Because your magic kicks his magic's butt!"
Vesper blushed, feeling flattered. "Please, you give me too much credit. This is very simple magic actually -- well, for genies, anyways. All I'm doing is placing these sensations in your mind, nothing more."
Fluttershy cringed, clearly uncomfortable. "Can we stop talking about Discord, please?"
To her surprise, Pinkie looked back at her, somewhat saddened. "I'm not trying to sound mean, Fluttershy, but, this whole experience gives me an idea... I know Discord has done bad things and everything, but... Do you think that might be just because he was trying to have fun, like us, and no one would let him? Maybe, if he got what he wanted somehow, he wouldn't be dangerous, and wouldn't mess with anypony... If you could talk to him, listen to him, try to understand him, like you did with me..."
Fluttershy mulled over Pinkie's suggestion; she had a valid point. And did Discord really hurt anypony when he was attacking Ponyville? Well, yes, he nearly ruined the friendship shared between her and the others, but he never physically hurt anypony, or killed them, which he probably could have easily done with the extent of his powers. Maybe... Maybe all he really wanted was to have fun, without rules limiting him, or people judging him. If he could have someplace where his antics wouldn't hurt anypony else, maybe?... She shook her head, doubtful.
'This is crazy. I actually considered having a heart-to-heart with Discord, trying to "help" him. People like him can't be helped. At least, I don't think so...'
Pinkie's incessant laughing only grew in volume and hysteria. "Okay -- Really -- This is too much! Now I KNOW you have something to do with Discord! You must be a student of his, or something!"
"Oh, I'm the pawn of something MUCH more sinister than that," Vesper answered playfully in mock menace.
Pinkie tried to hold down her giggling enough to reply. "What's that?"
"I am... The servant of... THE GOD OF CARNIVAL RIDES!!!" Vesper exclaimed.
Suddenly, he, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie were all crammed in the front seat of a roller coaster, racing along a looping, twirling, twisting track rushing along at a thrilling speed; along the way, Fluttershy could see various enlarged moving pictures, depicting all the happy memories she had with her friends; Pinkie's birthday party, the Grand Galloping Gala, cheering on Rainbow Dash at the Young Flier's Competition, the Hearth's Warming Eve, even Pinkie's surprise meal that she remembered earlier on. She saw every highlight of her time spent with them, the moments of legitimate enjoyment, things that had withered away and been lost.
'I can't let all those memories just die in vain. Now more than ever I know how important it is that I continue. I'm doing the right thing.'
Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie and Vesper had spent what felt like several hours together (despite being contained in a split second thanks to freezing time) continuing to experience an altered perception of reality and talking about their issues. Once they were finished, the Sugarcube Corner kitchen reformed back in place, and all was right with the world. Pinkie claimed to feel immensely relieved, deeply appreciating the time she spent with Fluttershy getting so much off her chest, and getting to meet and make friends with Vesper.
Fluttershy and Vesper then promptly returned to her cottage in the woods while she decided which friend she would single out and help next. She had spent so much time doing all this in a frozen moment that she thought an entire day had been taken out of her. Right now, she wanted sleep more than anything. Fluttershy grumbled to herself under her breath; she always found it difficult to sleep during the day, with the sunlight still out, readily peering into her window. She turned to Vesper, looking down at her pouch of sands once more.
"If I rewind time to last night so I can get some sleep, will Pinkie still remember everything that just happened?"
"If you want her to, yes, she will."
Fluttershy started to prepare her bed, curling up inside, gradually drifting off and losing consciousness. She wasn't quite ready to sleep just yet, despite her strong desire to do just that.
"I'm grateful I have this opportunity to help all my friends this way. I just wish it was easier. Or that I was able to do this a long time ago. I'd go back further, but... I don't know how it will change the world right now. I wouldn't want to do something bad on accident."
Vesper nodded grimly. "We spend our lives trying to understand others while wishing they'd understand us better."
Fluttershy blinked a few times. "You probably already know this, but, I take care of animals. They come to me, sick, and injured; and I can see it clearly. I can see what's wrong with them right away. They don't have to explain. You can't hide the fact that you're bleeding when it happens to you. And yet, ponies don't... Emotionally bleed... They can hide sadness, anger, fear, pain. It's not... It's not fair. I think if everypony could just see how they make each other feel... Everything would be better."
She squinted her eyes closed, tears slowly cascading down her face.
Vesper grimaced, pondering her musings. "... If you want... I can grant you the ability to read others' emotional states. That way, at least you can see it. Would you like that?"
Fluttershy nodded.
"Very well. Consider it done."
And with that, Fluttershy relaxed. She pressed her hoof against the pouch gently, until the brightness of the sun disappeared, and blackness filled in the vision of her closed eyelids; the coldness of night was now upon her.
'Just wait for me, my friends. Before you know it, all our problems will be over.'
"Now I understand
What you tried to say to me
And how you suffered for your sanity
And how you tried to set them free
They didn't listen, they did not know how
Perhaps they'll listen now"
The night was pitch black. Every creature in Fluttershy's house was fast asleep. Even Vesper.
None of them heard the dark intruder whose footsteps made their way into Fluttershy's room.
A sentient being brimming with fiery hatred cast a large shadow over the sleeping, oblivious Fluttershy. It spoke with a voice that was like nails scraping against one's soul.
"All that is yours, is rightfully mine. Soon, Fluttershy, I will take back everything you stole from me. Soon..."
Fluttershy couldn't remember a time that she slept better.
Even though she was in a state of deep sleep, her subconscious was still active.
'I'm so relaxed. I always thought that there was something wrong with this bed. But I think there was just something wrong with me instead. Always so antsy and worried that I'd end the day feeling miserable and unable to sleep right. Because I swear, right now, this bed is so soft, it's almost like I'm flying. I don't even want to get up. I want to stay here forever. I should just freeze time right now until I'm well rested enough to continue again.'
Fluttershy would have reached for the pouch she thought she was still wearing, but couldn't find it. Maybe it had fallen off, over the side of the bed.
'Hm. Well, that's okay. I think I'll have had enough sleep by the time the morning comes anyhow.'
Her senses were otherwise filled only with complete darkness, and silence. The only indication she was even alive aside from the floating comfort filling her was the steady sound of her heartbeat, gradually more noticeable every time.
'It really feels almost like I'm flying. But... Wait...'
She tried to turn over in her bed in her sleep. But nothing was beneath her. And she moved... Slowly. Like something was surrounding her. Holding her, pulling her back. Not a blanket or covers, which she started feeling around for.
'Cold somehow. What is this?'
The serene peace that invaded the very fiber of her being gradually shifted into a dull ache. There was no discernable mattress or even ground of any sort. She experienced a new feeling; sinking, slowly, steadily.
'I don't understand. Am I gliding? Did I go out flying in my sleep and now I'm trying to find my way home?'
The volume of her own heartbeat grew. Fluttershy felt something filling her ears. Her nostrils. Her mouth.
'This is starting to scare me.'
She couldn't breathe. The ache throbbed, spreading out further throughout her vessel. It grew sharper, heavier, unforgiving. Her skull was pounding, it felt full and heavy, as if something were weighing it down. Her esophagus and lungs started to fill.
'Please don't let this be something bad. I'm just dreaming. I need to wake up.'
She forced her eyes open... And nothing was different. She was drowning.
'Celestia -- NO!!!'
Fluttershy desperately tried to thrash her limbs and wings, anything to bring her closer to the surface. It was daytime -- she could see the surface illuminated by sunlight far above her -- but the glow kept shrinking. No matter how hard she pushed, her wings wouldn't budge -- restrained. It was only just now that Fluttershy noticed a rope similar to Applejack's securely fastened around her torso.
'B-but Applejack would never hurt me -- why is this happening?!? This can't be real, it can't!!!'
She turned her head to look behind her, noticing that the other end of the rope -- much, much longer than what Applejack used -- had been just as handily tightened around a large boulder severely outweighing her. Fluttershy's panic increased drastically.
'SOMEPONY HELP ME! PLEASE!'
She opened her mouth to scream, only to take in more water, her voice unheard above the surface, greeted only by the gargling shriek of her fear-driven effort. She continued to fight in futility, struggling to wedge free from the rope or tug it loose or snap it off her. Fluttershy's pain intensified, slowly but surely. Hellish agony permeated every cell in her body, only increasing with every deafening, rapid heartbeat surging and pounding in Fluttershy's ears. She was drowning. She was dying.
Her hoof stretched out towards the surface, reaching for a nonexistent savior who would not come to rescue her.
'Please, not yet! I haven't gotten to help the rest of my friends! I don't want to leave without getting to make them happy!'
Fluttershy would cry if she was able to. Her whole life was flashing before her eyes. Growing up in Cloudsdale, going to Flight School, moving to Ponyville, meeting her friends. Too much of it was lived in vain. Too many failures, disappointments, too much heartbreak, and not enough peace, comfort and joy.
'It can't end like this!'
Her frantic train of thought started to imagine what would happen next. She saw her drowned, bloated carcass washing ashore, maybe found by some unfortunate foals playing nearby. She saw her animals alone and dying without anypony to care for them while she was gone without anypony realizing it. She saw her friends completely forgetting she was even around until they found out she died.
'PLEASE --'
Blackness and silence closed in again as the excruciating torment came to a head. Her heartbeat became slower. Fading into nothingness. One more brief, fleeting moment, and she would be gone.
Fluttershy's body hit the ground with a loud thud.
There was silence. Darkness.
Her continuous sobbing was stifled by the noises trapped in her throat. She shuddered uncontrollably, unable to remember a time she felt so afraid, and cold. Sniffling and wiping her teary eyes to clear her blurry vision, Fluttershy noticed that it was still dusk, maybe an hour or two before sunrise. She noticed that the pouch was where it was before; still around her neck. To her, every dream might as well be a nightmare, but this one felt way too real. The same way the roller coaster felt way too real.
The initial belief of being at her life's end with the feelings of terror and anguish and suffering slowly melted into shock and cantankerous rage. Fluttershy got back on her hooves, stomping her way across the house so hard that it immediately awoke all her animals, who were visibly frightened -- that wasn't her concern right now. The deafening thuds almost suggested that the wooden floor would split open from the sheer impact of each clop. Her furious gaze bore into the dark lavender genie, who was still only just now awakening.
"WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME?!?" she roared.
Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Vesper's disposition was surprisingly calm at her accusations, maybe even apologetic. He simply composed himself, meeting Fluttershy's eye level.
"Do what? I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about."
This only angered Fluttershy further. "Don't play any games with me!!! You planted that experience in my head!!! You made me genuinely believe I was drowning to death!!!"
"Oh, that," Vesper responded with a dejected sigh, sounding more sad than uninterested. "I'm afraid I can't plead guilty to that. It sounds like you had a really... Vivid nightmare... I'm not doubting that it probably felt very real, but I honestly didn't do it, unless I was somehow unaware or did it on accident, which I doubt. However, you're more than welcome to do as I've explained before, and cast me out of your life if you think I've somehow made you unsafe."
Fluttershy was trembling, seething with fury, which began to gradually boil down out of sheer bewilderment. If he apparently felt guilty about it, then why wasn't he admitting responsibility? Was it really and truly an accident, by some sick, twisted coincidental circumstance? She turned her head away, the tears coming back in full force.
"If I ever... Feel anything like that again... This is going to be the last time. I swear it." she nodded softly, and trotted away, trying to compose herself, the overwhelming rush of mixed emotions draining her.
Soon, the sunrise appeared. Fluttershy watched it fill her room through the window. After the incident -- or, accident? -- with Vesper, she resolved to go back to bed in an attempt to brush it off. She wasn't able to sleep again. She wasn't sure if it was the fear of another nightmare, or the animals being scared, or her anger towards the genie, or anything else. But it did help a little just to lie still there and calm down for that long, however short it was.
The time after she left her bed again would be spent apologizing to all the animals and working to calm them down in turn. She meant to do it right away, but was so flustered she was worried she'd snap at them and make it worse. Fluttershy's pent-up outbursts were rare, often resurfacing at inconvenient or embarrassing times, but this one was justified; she nearly died. Or, she felt like she nearly died.
But out of every "sorry" and cheer-up deed and embrace shared between the pegasus and each of her individual creatures, not one would be bestowed upon the ethereal colt that had only just recently entered her life. She only shared a few glances with him, catching a mutual exchange of sorrowful and pained looks, and couldn't bring herself to take it any further. Not right now.
Common sense would dictate that she immediately throw him out just as he offered himself to be. And yet, there was something in the way he insisted on his innocence without a second thought, yet simultaneously showed sympathy nonverbally, that confused Fluttershy, kept her from acting or deciding. Was he telling the truth? Could this somehow be an accident? Could he maybe not have even been involved at all? Fluttershy recalled how unbelievably fatigued she was when she retired last night; had she fallen into such a deep sleep that her dreams maybe experienced a higher intensity than normal, a ludic transition? There was no telling.
The occurrence felt so complex and bewildering that she had to set it aside for the rest of the day. Now was the time to resume her efforts for the sake of her friends. Something to take her mind off it. Something she meant to do for a while in the first place.
Fluttershy used the sands within the pouch to freeze life in it's tracks once again, and flew from her house. She had already got to work on Pinkie Pie; who should she go to now? Rarity? Twilight Sparkle? Somehow she feared that she might ineffably run into the whole 'Panacea Crystal' mess all over again with them; something she wasn't ready for after what just happened. Before she could go any further, the next choice presented itself to her from above; Rainbow Dash, held still in the process of starting her daily work on the clouds hanging over Ponyville.
Part of the conversation she and Pinkie had yesterday indirectly hearkened Fluttershy back to her youth in Cloudsdale, just as her recent nightmare did the same.
'Ugh. Just remembering all that would be even WORSE than Rarity or Twilight lecturing me again.'
Even so, she found herself oddly stuck in place as well. Not beyond her physical control, but something within beckoned her to speak with Rainbow Dash next. She shut her eyes, her mind a boiling mess of frustration with questions that had no answers.
'I might as well get it out of the way. At least I won't have to remember those things later. If it gets to be too much, I can just stop, or start over.'
Sighing to herself, Fluttershy reluctantly flew to Rainbow Dash. She rested a hoof on her shoulder from behind, and closed her eyes as she concentrated on the sands once more.
The cyan mare was just about to move a cloud when she suddenly felt a touch. It startled her; she hadn't heard or seen anyone coming, and she was only further confused seeing who it was. "Fluttershy?!? What're you doing here?!? Don't you know I'm busy? I can't mess around, I have to get my work for the day done before I can hang out with anypony!"
Fluttershy merely pointed a foreleg down at the immobile residents of Ponyville, which Dash instinctively looked at. Her eyes widened. "Whoa, what's going on? Did some unicorn have an accident or something?"
Fluttershy shook her head. "It's a long story. I can control this, so, you don't have to do your job right now, if you don't want to."
Rainbow Dash was immediately relieved. "Aww, great! I got hardly any sleep last night, I was feeling so cruddy when I clocked in today! Thanks a million, pal. Gotta catch a few z's before I can really get anything done."
"That's not what this is all about, Rainbow. I was... Hoping I could talk to you. About something important." Fluttershy bit her lip and lowered her ears, hoping she hadn't dashed her friend's hopes of resting more.
"Huh? Sure, I guess. What's on your mind?"
"Well, I was hoping we could talk about --" Before Fluttershy could go any further, Rainbow's eyes gleamed at a sudden realization, and she silenced Fluttershy with a hoof to the mouth.
"Hold on a sec. You mean time's stopped right now... And we can do anything?"
Fluttershy tilted her head to the side in bewilderment. "Well, yes, I mean, I guess so..."
Dash's face twisted from fascination into malice. Without warning, she bolted off from her spot on the cloud down towards Ponyville, weaving her way through the streets. Fluttershy was alarmed.
"Wait, Rainbow Dash!!!" She followed to the best of her ability, exerting all available effort. She wasn't used to flying as quickly nor as vigorously as Dash had on a daily basis.
'Great. Just great. I discover a magically significant artifact with the power to control time itself, get an earful from my friends, have a strange genie move in with me, have a near-death experience that I'm not even sure was real, and now one of my friends is heading to Celestia-knows-where at breakneck speed. What could possibly happen next?'
To Fluttershy's confusion, Rainbow only slowed to a stop at Sweet Apple Acres, halting in front of a frozen Applejack, who looked like she was begrudgingly harvesting apples.
"Take THAT, Applejack!!!" Dash screamed as her hoof crashed across the earth pony's face.
Fluttershy gasped in horror.
"And THAT! And that! And that, and that, and that --" Rainbow was using the full extent of her karate training, unrestrained, ramming hooves along Applejack's jaw, plowing into her diaphragm, striking against her ribcage. "-- and, THAT!!!" She roared with a final uppercut that sent Applejack soaring towards the soil, falling on her back loudly. Dash panted heavily, raising another shaking, angry hoof, preparing to strike again.
"Rainbow Dash!!! What in Celestia's name are you doing?!?"
She must have forgotten all about Fluttershy, since she slowed to a complete halt at the sound of her voice, looking embarrassed, ashamed, and shocked.
"F-Fluttershy! I -- I didn't mean to -- I just --" her eyes squinted shut as she started to lose all control again, pent up emotions unfurling uncontrollably. "Ooooh, I've just had it with that pony!!! She'd never stop giving me dirty looks and judging me for that thing! It was an accident! I didn't mean to knock those twenty dozen apples out of that one cart! Then I tried to cheer her up with an apple juice prank that I didn't know would stain Apple Bloom's brand new dress, and challenged her to another race -- which I WON, she just didn't want to admit it -- and after all that I was as nice as I could be, and she STILL won't stop letting me hear about it! It's been WEEKS, Fluttershy! WEEKS! I thought Applejack and I were friends, but the way she keeps treating me I feel like we're not friends at all, and I'm so sick of it, I'm SICK OF IT!!!"
Rainbow Dash had tears streaming down her face. She was out of breath. She couldn't look Fluttershy in the eye, or even look at Applejack at all.
"... So that's why you just... Kicked the apples out of Applejack?..." Fluttershy murmured, as if she were afraid that she was going to get pummeled next.
Rainbow started to regain her breath, releasing an exhausted groan of defeat as she hung her head, a few sobs barely audible. "Look, I never wanted to hurt Applejack -- or anybody -- but I kept trying to say sorry, and she'd never listen to me, and I just couldn't help myself. I would never have done that if... I mean... If time's stopped, it's not like she's going to feel it later, right?" she finally looked back at the fallen Applejack.
All of her teeth had fallen out of her gums. A small pool of blood started to slowly seep into the dirt from the corner of her mouth. Rainbow flinched, her mouth agape and her face even redder than it was earlier, and Fluttershy was equally disturbed.
"I... I don't think it quite works that way, Rainbow Dash..."
Rainbow Dash's tears flowed further, and she sniffled as she laid down next to her wounded friend. "Oh, Applejack... What have I done to you?..."
Fluttershy grimaced uncomfortably. She looked at her pouch unsurely, and focused her efforts; within moments, Fluttershy was back in the air, and Rainbow Dash was right in front of Applejack just before the assault, completely unharmed. Rainbow blinked in disbelief, staring down at her shaky front hooves, and then turned back to Fluttershy. An unbearable silence passed, and Rainbow hung her head with a relieved sigh.
"Oh, thank you, Celestia... I thought I wouldn't be able to take that back..." Rainbow sniffled and turned to Applejack again, unable to see her without tearing up even more. She embraced the immobile, oblivious mare, sobbing into her mane.
Fluttershy lowered herself onto the earth as quietly as possible. She slowly approached Rainbow, cautious of her still highly emotional state. "... This is why I wanted to talk... I kind of... Noticed that we've all been having problems... You're okay with that, aren't you?... Talking about it, I mean..."
The shuddering Rainbow Dash was wordless. After another long, uncomfortable silence, she nodded yes in reply. She eventually forced herself to part from Applejack, inspecting her face as she pulled away, as if to check that her injuries were truly and wholly undone. Then she looked at Fluttershy, her eyes so red from crying that they were nearly impossible to distinguish from her normal, rosy iris.
"Please follow me, Fluttershy. There's something I want to show you."
With every beat of their wings, Fluttershy's heart rate steadily increased, nervous and curious all at once. Rainbow was leading her to the very same hill that she first discovered the Panacea Crystal at. Did she know that Fluttershy had found it somehow? Did she maybe even find it before her, and now was wondering where it had gone? Nothing seemed to suggest this, although Fluttershy was still feeling nervous.
Rainbow finally softly landed on her hooves at the very top of the hill, releasing a deep breath as she closed her eyes and hung her head, her ears lowered.
"This is where I go when I can't be around everypony else. It's... It's a good place to be alone."
Fluttershy didn't speak, but only watched, and listened. Somehow she was able to sense that it was what Rainbow wanted. Was this the 'emotional bleeding' Vesper had told her was now visible to her? Perhaps, but she wasn't sure.
Rainbow Dash waited a few moments, to rest, or reflect, before her wings softly beat again, lifting her slightly in the air. She grabbed the nearest cloud, pulling it closer to them, and starting to work on changing it's shape and darkening it's color.
"My job is always to work on how the day looks, along with all the rest of the weather ponies. But, too many times -- no, all the time -- I never feel the way that they tell me the weather needs to be. It's always 'bright and sunny' when I don't feel 'bright and sunny' at all, or 'really cloudy' when I'm actually feeling alright for once, and it 'rains and rains' when I finally feel so good that I want to go see all my friends. I have a hard enough time trying to tell them how I feel, like Applejack, and to make a living I have to lie to myself. So, I go here a lot, since it seems to be the one place I can make at least one little cloud honestly reflect what I feel like. Like a mirror."
Rainbow patted the cloud a few times the way somepony would prepare a pillow, causing a light drizzle of water to steadily fall beneath it. She then looked off into the distance, which Fluttershy realized was referencing another part she hadn't looked at before.
"I think my favorite part about this place is the waterfall. I guess it's because... Because I feel like it's crying for me. Not crying for me, like sad just because I'm there, but, doing me a favor. I have to hold it all in during the daytime around everypony, and it only finally spills out when I'm alone in my house in the clouds at night, echoing through them, unheard by anypony. And yet in those rare moments when I can come here and I feel like I have to cry, but I can't, even when I'm too tired to even make rain, I have this waterfall here instead, catching up for me."
Rainbow Dash slowly stepped off the cloud, lightly floating until she trotted in front of Fluttershy.
"I've never shown or even told anypony about this place before. But I'm showing it to you, because I know that you're somepony I can trust. You'd never tell anypony about anything that would hurt my feelings, or anypony else's feelings, either. I guess... I guess I just needed to come here and cool off for a while, instead of... What I did to Applejack. I never have nearly enough time to be here in the first place, so... Just being here a little longer will help, and then I'll be perfectly fine."
Fluttershy was visibly concerned. "Rainbow Dash, I... I feel concerned after seeing what happened back there. I think... Maybe... You might need to talk about your problems a little more. If that's okay with you, that is. It doesn't even have to be with me, it can be with anypony you want..."
"Pfft! Are you serious? Me? Look at me! I'm Rainbow Dash! I have a house in the sky all to myself! I have my own fan club! Heck, the Wonderbolts even acknowledged me! I've won the Cloudsdale Young Flier's Competition multiple times in a row by now! What problems could I possibly have that are more important than everypony else's? Believe me, Fluttershy, you've given me a lot more attention than I deserve. I'm just a selfish braggart who's making a mountain out of a molehill. I completely overreacted with Applejack."
Fluttershy flinched. "... Don't you think you're minimizing your own feelings? Even if other people might not think your problems aren't important, that doesn't mean they're not important to you, or that they're not real..."
Rainbow Dash scoffed. "Oh, right! Next time the Cloudsdale Flier's Charity For Terminally Ill Foals looks my way, I can just tell them, 'I'm sorry, I can't go because Rarity jokingly called me a name that I didn't like'. Really, Fluttershy, I know you're a little oversensitive, but there's always, always somepony out there in the world who has it worse than you. Much worse. Only problems I have are first world problems. All that emo, wangst stuff. Sticks and stones."
Fluttershy paused for a moment. "Does that make feelings any less real, regardless? How does another person's pain make your pain not hurt? Pain is pain, it's not a contest. It doesn't matter if it's a little pebble, or a really big stone, they'll both sink when they're in water. You can still help and care about others, it's just hard to give things that you don't have. How can you help anypony else if you don't get help for yourself?"
Rainbow Dash was silent. "... But... But... I'm the Element Of Loyalty... How can I live up to that if I don't give everypony all I've got because I'm?..." A sobbing sigh freed itself. "Even when I try my best, it's still not good enough?..."
Fluttershy looked away, trying to figure out how to respond. "Everypony's personal best is different at given times, Rainbow Dash. Maybe your best today isn't as good as it was yesterday, or it's better than what your best will be tomorrow. It depends on your circumstances. That doesn't mean that you're not trying your best, or giving everything you have. Nopony's perfect."
Fluttershy flew herself up onto Rainbow's cloud, smiling warmly at her. "Being the Element Of Loyalty doesn't mean you have to give up everything in your life all the time just for everypony else. It means that loyalty is the best part about you -- you're always loyal to everypony you care about. Sometimes being there for somepony is just as simple as caring. Letting them know that you're thinking about them."
Rainbow shuddered, slowly calming down. "I'm... I'm not used to talking about my feelings, or even thinking about them... It's not something I was ever taught, raised, or shown how to do. I guess that's why I've felt hurt, and confused a lot. Even by other ponies and my friends, like you. It's left a hole in me, all my life, and I kept trying to fill it any way I could. I wanted somepony to notice me. To care about me. But I was never able to do that by just being myself, like everypony says you should... So it felt like the only way I could get all that was through entertaining them. Impressing them. With my flying."
She looked over to Fluttershy. "Please don't get me wrong... That's not the only reason I do it. It's something I really enjoy. I just figured it would be nice to be able to do that if it was also something I happened to like doing, you know? But -- a lot of the time, I thought that's all they cared about. That I could fly this and that way, and do these and those tricks. They weren't interested in me as a person , just as this, thing , that they wanted to look at whenever they were bored. But I kept doing it anyways. It was the only way to get what I thought was an acknowledgment of my existence. It was the only way I knew how."
Rainbow Dash closed her eyes again. "You know what I've always wanted? More than anything in the world, Fluttershy? To be number one in just a single person's life. For that person to always accept me no matter what I do. Even when I make a mistake, or get confused, or say something I don't mean. Somepony who'd still treat me the same way at the end of the day, so at least I'd always go to sleep knowing at least one person cared about me. But no matter where I go, or what I do, or who I meet, it's like I'll never be able to find that."
She chuckled softly, another tear rolling down. "It sounds silly, but... Sometimes... Sometimes I would think of, or even try, flying as high up in the sky as I possibly could, past the clouds, even past the moon -- whether I ever made it that far, I have no idea -- because I thought such love could only exist out of this world. Out of Equestria. I didn't care where it was or how strange or different it felt -- heck, sometimes I'd dream about it, like being some crazy place where other ponies were giants and it was run by two-legged hairless monkeys -- but as long as I could find it, I felt like it'd be worth it. It's not that I don't care about you guys, or that I wouldn't miss you, but, it just hurts so much..."
Rainbow Dash shook her head, hunching over. "Because... Because all those feelings of failure, disillusion, and disappointment hurt more than any break, scrape, or bruise I've ever had trying to learn to fly. But it never mattered, because there's always somepony who can fly faster, or cooler, or longer. All that time I spent trying to really mean something to somepony, anypony, not just for all those tricks and stunts I can do, but for all of me, the whole package."
She finally opened her eyes, looking at Fluttershy again. "And so, I was wrong. Sticks and stones can break your bones... But words can kill you." She slowly buried her face in her hooves. "I'm so sorry, Fluttershy. I didn't want all of this to blow up on you."
Fluttershy softly embraced Rainbow Dash. "It's okay. I don't mind at all. I'm glad you've decided to share this with me. It takes a strong person to truly show how they feel. I... I know that I accept you no matter what. And so do Twilight and the rest of our friends, I'm sure. But maybe we don't always do the best job at showing it, or you just don't feel like we do... Still... I know at least one person really, really does for sure, but it might have been hard to see... Can I please take you to her?"
"What's going on, Fluttershy?" Scootaloo was entirely bewildered, glancing from pony to pony, all frozen in place. A familiar pegasi's silhouette soon dawned on her from the sunlight.
"Hey there, squirt," Rainbow Dash greeted her with a grin.
"RAINBOW DASH!!!" Scootaloo couldn't contain her exuberance. She leapt at the cyan mare, embracing her tightly.
Rainbow Dash chuckled, playfully rustling Scootaloo's mane with her hoof. "I heard somepony tell me that you've been wanting to find the time to get some flying lessons from yours truly. Well, thanks to our pal Fluttershy here, we have literally all the time we could ever possibly want. And maybe along the way, we can find you that cutie mark you've been wanting so badly. How do you feel about that, kid?"
Scootaloo's eyes beamed. "No way, really?!? That would be AWESOME!!!"
Fluttershy felt her heart leap at Scootaloo's boundless, energetic bliss. She had been reunited with her idol, and Dash had found the one she was looking for.
They spent what Fluttershy was sure were entire days training, practicing, and playing together, the whole time out in the warm glow of a seemingly eternal sunrise. Rainbow Dash had taught Scootaloo everything she knew, helping her get the hang of gradually being higher and higher in the sky, always right by her side to help her out, and catch her whenever she fell. They also tried many different activities that Scootaloo thought she'd want to get her cutie mark in, trying again and again; faint disappointment would always hit Scootaloo each time her flank remained barren, but Rainbow Dash never failed to reassure and encourage her, immediately cheering her up. Fluttershy always tagged along to help however she could, but she mostly watched; Scootaloo and Dash had formed a bond that felt like little and big sisters, or even mother and daughter.
Finally, after what felt like almost an entire week of such rigorous activity, Scootaloo had given up on trying to find her cutie mark. She was able to fly extremely well, thanks to her persistence and Rainbow Dash's scaffolding and guidance, but it didn't matter to her anymore. As far as she was concerned, her life would never be complete without her cutie mark, and if she wasn't able to get it after all this time and trying all these things, she might as well give up. She buried her face in a foreleg, crying uncontrollably. Rainbow Dash had been at her side the whole time, somberly enveloping Scootaloo in her wing as if it were a blanket.
"D-Diamond Tiara and S-Silver Spoon were right... I'll never be g-good at anything..." Scootaloo lamented.
Rainbow Dash was trying hard not to show the heartbreak she felt sympathizing with Scootaloo's pain, and the fears of inadequacy she knew all too well. "Hey, there..." she murmured softly, warmly.
"Let me tell you something, Scootaloo. I can just see how hard all this has been for you. You always support your friends, Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom, even though you don't have the same kind of family support that they do, kind of like how Fluttershy and I are. You always treat everypony else how you'd want to be, even Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. You do it to your elders, even if they don't give back the respect you deserve. I know that it's easy to want to give up when it hurts this bad. I never thought I was going to be good enough when I was a little filly, but look where I am now. Not only am I living a life I enjoy, but I have good friends who treat me as nice as I try to treat them, like Fluttershy. Just like you do."
Scootaloo sniffled, peering up at her hero.
Rainbow Dash gently caressed her mane as she smiled at her and continued. "You've always been there for me, Scootaloo. Always cheering for me, being there for me, supporting me, caring about me. Even when I make mistakes. Even when I say things I don't mean to say, and do things I don't mean to do. You see me for who I really am, and all I try to be. I'll never forget you, and everything that you've done for me. You are my hero. And you want to know a secret? It doesn't matter how long it takes you to get your cutie mark -- even if it takes all your life -- because even without one, you're still the coolest pony I know. And I will always be proud of you."
Scootaloo smiled through her tears, profoundly moved by Dash's confession. She bawled, hugging her close to her again; this time through tears of joy. Rainbow Dash was crying, too.
After their activities spent in frozen time were over, Rainbow Dash had thanked Fluttershy for everything this opportunity had given her. Even though she agreed to keep Dash's favorite secluded place a secret, Rainbow Dash had additionally asked Fluttershy to talk to Applejack about what was going on between them and resolve things. She agreed; Fluttershy felt it would be best to talk to Applejack next, anyhow. Fluttershy felt accomplished. Not only did Rainbow Dash start to feel better, but they were able to greatly help out Scootaloo as well.
As exhausted as she was, the whole ordeal had given Fluttershy a lot of time to think. She ultimately decided that, in spite of her initial suspicions, and the odd coincidences surrounding the awful drowning nightmare she had a week (or night?) ago probably wasn't Vesper's fault. After all, if Vesper really wanted to, could he not have interrupted her along with Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo at any time and attempted to cause them harm? He was a genie -- she wasn't sure what the extent of his powers were, but surely he could pose some kind of threat, if he really wanted to.
"Your friend Rainbow Dash reminds me of a pegasus that I met many, many centuries ago. He swore up and down that he was able to fly around Equestria in a single day. He would eat full, healthy meals, get plenty of rest, and then give it a try as often as he could. So many hours in, he would get too tired, and his wings would fail him. He'd be forced to stop trying and glide to the nearest surface that he could. He'd curse his bad luck, rest, wait for the sun to rise, and try again. He never did end up flying around Equestria in a single day, but that wasn't the point. He had never realized that what he wanted to do so badly was completely and utterly impossible."
Fluttershy froze. "... Are you saying that it's impossible for me to help all my friends?..."
Vesper frowned. "... In all honesty... I don't know..."
"Hey, look everypony! It's Blank Flank again!"
"Can you believe it? If I were THAT pony, I'd paint my flank to save myself the embarrassment!"
"Haven't you ever accomplished anything in your life, Blank Flank?"
"They're going to etch 'Blank Flank' on your headstone when you get old and pass away!"
"How come even after all this time you still don't have a cutie mark, Blank Flank?"
The pegasus calmly trotted by, ignoring the insults as best as possible. It wasn't meant to be shown, but they still hurt more than anything.
They only became completely unavoidable once two more pegasi got in the way.
"Well, what do you know? Blank Flank still has the guts to come out in open daylight where everypony can see! Let's fix that, shall we?"
The bullying pegasi's cohort laughed cruelly, reeling up on hind legs to kick their target down.
Skylar was caught completely off guard, catching the brunt of the blow and skidding across the ground. An ash gray pegasus with a cyan mane and tail, he was in his early twenties. He still didn't have a cutie mark.
Being without supposedly any talent for the entirety of his life had gotten him far more ridicule than he cared to remember. It was unheard of to not get a cutie mark no later than the end of puberty, and in rare, worst case scenarios the very end of adolescence; so far, he'd been without one for the longest time in recorded history, and every doctor's diagnosis as to possible reasons weren't promising. He was the clumsiest and most accident-prone weather pony in the business, able to get only just enough done to make a living and provide necessities for himself.
"Gosh, fellas, why don't you leave him alone already? Don't you think he's just about had enough?" A frustrated mare's voice called out in annoyance. She was one of the hardest workers in Ponyville, an earth pony who toiled mostly for the benefit of all.
"Uh oh, look out! Blank Flank's got a friend to back him up!"
The mare raised a brow in irritation. "Do you really want to reckon with the force of a buck that's gone clean through entire trees?"
At this, the bully pegasi started to back off, although one gave Skylar a last kick to the belly before running off and laughing. The mare chased after them, but they got away before she could do anything. She started to help Skylar back onto his hooves, shaking her head in disapproval.
"Gosh, Skylar, why don't you up and stand for yourself once in a while? If you keep letting those other ponies walk all over you, they'll never stop. Sometimes you gotta fight back."
"I can't, Auburn," Skylar replied as he began to brush himself off. "I've made it my rule to always show kindness to everypony else, especially if they're unkind in return. If they act in some way that's hurtful to others, it's usually because they, themselves, have already been hurt. Who am I to add onto that, whatever it is? For all I know, my retaliation could be the final straw for them."
Auburn shook her head softly. "Whatever you say." Auburn had chocolate brown fur with a red mane and tail and fiery orange eyes. She sported a black cowboy hat, and her cutie mark was a house; she, along with her father August, were the premiere carpenters in Ponyville, the most depended on for building homes.
Sometime later, Skylar and Auburn were alone together in a cabin. Skylar had taken on the task of starting up the fireplace, while Auburn had been reflecting in her thoughts as she stared out a nearby window.
"There's something I have to tell you..." she spoke softly.
"... Okay. What is it?"
"I've noticed, sometimes, I haven't always been the best to you that I possibly could be. You're my best friend. I should treat you better. You have such mindful, considerate views on things. On how to interact and deal with people. And I've scolded you for them. But you were right. And I know sometimes I let my problems get the better of me, and I take them out on you."
She walked closer to Skylar. "I just want you to know, if I ever act upset towards you for anything, or do something hurtful... It's not about you. It's never about you. You've always respected how I feel. You've always listened to me, understood me, accepted me, cared for me. Just please... Always remember that. No matter what I do or say, it's never about you. Okay?"
She embraced the pegasus, closing her eyes. "Even if you get old and die without ever getting a cutie mark... You'll still be the best colt I've ever known."
Fluttershy opened her eyes.
Even with how tired she was, even after everything that had just happened, she had yet another strange dream that somehow felt so real. Only, she wasn't in it. Who was Skylar? Who was Auburn? If they lived in Ponyville, surely she must have seen or heard of them before. Or was it all just a dream?
As she started to get up, she lamented Skylar's lack of a cutie mark, and everything it had cost him. How old would he be without one? What if the same thing happened to Scootaloo?
Then she remembered what Auburn told him. "It's not about you."
'I only wish somepony could have told Rainbow Dash that a long time ago. Maybe she wouldn't have suffered so much without that acceptance she always wanted.'
But the last thing... The strangest thing... That kept boggling her mind is what Skylar said about being kind, even to unkind ponies.
'That reminds me so much of me...'
She approached Vesper yet again, who looked somber, attentive, as though he knew exactly what had gone on; and yet, somehow, he remained innocent.
"That pegasus in my dream... Is he the one you told me about? Who tried to fly around Equestria in a single day?"
"... No. He isn't."
"But since you've been gone I've been lost inside
Tried and failed as we walked by the riverside
And I wish you could see the love in her eyes
The best friend that eluded you lost in time
Burned alive in the heat of a grieving mind
But what can I say now?
It couldn't be more wrong
Cause there's no one there
Unmistakably lost and without a care
Did we lose all the love that we could have shared?
And its wearing me down
And its turning me round
And I can't find a way
Now to find it out
Where are you when I need you?..."
Anathema's "Are You There"
Fluttershy had decided to revisit the same hill she'd been at with Rainbow Dash during what felt like a week ago, but in actuality wasn't really that long at all. Something about it appealed to her, the way she felt so relaxed and serene the very first time she'd visited it, as well as how it's calming effect seemed to reach her fellow pegasi as well. She had, of course, used the sands to stop time once again, wanting to spend as long as she needed to sorting out her thoughts and figuring out which pony to help next.
She wasn't sure how the majestic beauty of the waterfall had evaded her sights until Rainbow Dash had pointed it out to her. Perhaps because, in the past, there was a lot on her mind whenever she visited, just as there was now, except that she was now aware of it's calming presence. Peering down on the captured stream, the water was like a shimmering banner of light and purity reflecting the world around it, hanging off of a giant edge. She was losing herself in it's beautiful splendor that pulled her in deeper with each moment.
Fluttershy was both relieved and surprised that, even with everything that just happened with Scootaloo, Dash and herself, no memories of her painful childhood in Cloudsdale were brought up, at least, not verbally. Seeing the two pegasi play and fly together, she found them playing roles that were nonexistent in her own life; Scootaloo was Dash's constant supporter, relentless in pursuing her company and experiencing all the good things that she could with her, and Dash was Scootaloo's maternal guardian figure, always offering protection, comfort, and reassurance.
Fluttershy had never been all that great at flying herself, at least not up to a moderately strenuous point, and seeing Dash support Scootaloo in learning to fly better herself, she'd only wished somepony were there to do that for her when she was so young. She even caught herself trying to practice Dash's instructions when she thought they weren't looking. And in spite of Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash having gotten closer long after they parted ways in Flight Camp, Dash had still apologized to Fluttershy, perceiving that she'd neglected her in their youth, but in all honesty, she was instead one of the only people who ever paid any attention to her or cared about her at all.
But no matter what came back, they all paled in comparison to the traumatizing shock she underwent from her recent, all-too-vivid nightmare where she truly believed she was drowning, and dying. The part that bothered her the most about it wasn't that it was yet another dream that she hated so much, or that it was excruciatingly painful, and she was at death's door. The worst part was something she dare not think, something she couldn't bear to admit to herself, a thing she pushed back in the darkest corners of her mind and tried to obscure until she could snuff it out entirely.
'How can I think such horrible things when I still have friends that I need to help?'
Fluttershy then noticed that the clouds above her had started to dim. They were slowly coming together, progressively blotting out the sun, with only enough of it's light left showing to tell that it was daytime. A light drizzle of rain began cascading all around her.
'... So odd... This is the first time anything's moved in this state of time that I didn't try to do. Did I forget to take Rainbow Dash back to Ponyville's normal flow of time?'
Her musing was cut short when another loud, rushing sound made it's way to her ears. It wasn't the clap of thunder, or the rain getting heavier. She slowly looked back down to notice that, to her shock, the waterfall resumed moving on its own.
'I-I definitely didn't do this... What's going on? Did I mess something up? Oh, Celestia, please tell me nothing bad will happen!'
A deafening clop of hooves shattering the earth with each slow step resounded from behind her. Trembling, Fluttershy turned to face the source. It was another pony. But not just any pony. A pony shrouded in complete blackness, through a billowing aura that clung to it's coat, like flames licking the air. It spoke with a voice like nails scraping against one's soul.
"Fluttershy... Why did you do it?" it's words grated.
Fluttershy felt her heart stop. She was cold. A paralyzing fear possessed her, the same fear that she felt in her drowning nightmare. She forced herself to stand facing opposite this enigmatic entity, but couldn't muster any further effort, wanting more than anything to run or fly away.
"I-I don't know what you're talking about... Never seen you before..." she rasped, her face turning a ghoulish white.
"I tried to help you, and you pushed me away," it growled, drawing closer.
"P-please, stay away... I don't want anything to do with you... If I hurt you, I never meant it, I swear..."
The dark pony merely stopped a few yards away from her, outstretching one hoof. "Then let me finish helping you..."
Fluttershy could feel her knees wobbling. Cold sweat trickled down her mane and face. She tried to speak, only for choked noises of fright to barely escape her throat. "... H-help me?... Wh-what do you mean?..."
The stranger resumed slowly approaching her, still keeping one front hoof reaching towards Fluttershy. "I'm here to relieve you. Set you free from all torment and pain. From hope, desire, and life. All they do is make you suffer longer."
"N-no!!!" she exclaimed. Her words had halted it again. "I-I can't go! Not when I have to help all my friends!"
This only angered the mysterious pony. "You were ready to drown. Ready to die. We both know you wanted it."
Fluttershy felt her heart sink.
'He's right.'
She shuddered, looking down at her hooves in guilt and shame.
'I-I'm so tired of being here... Of hurting... I love all my friends... I love all my pets and all the animals... I love all the nice things in life, in the world, and in Ponyville... But, it seems no matter what I do, or how hard I try, the bad always, always outweighs the good. Not just for me, but for everypony else, too. It's just not enough. I'm sick of it... I can't hang on anymore... I just, want to go to sleep and never wake up...'
"The eternal solution to every problem there is. Endless rest," the dark pony continued. "To stop having dreams that will never come true. To avoid everything you've ever struggled for collapsing before your eyes after so much wasted time and futile efforts. To spare yourself the pain of disappointment and betrayal from everyone you know and everything you believe in."
Fluttershy shook her head, sobbing through her closed eyelids. "I can't... Not before I do what I have to... And fix everything..."
The pony's fury escalated. "What? Patch the gaping holes in your friendships with mere bandages? You believe you can just have a chat with each of them individually, or grant yourself a few wishes here and there, and nothing bad will ever happen ever again? What do you think this is, a fairytale? You've given them everything you had on countless occasions before, yet time and again, they always regress back into disharmony, worse than they were the last time."
Fluttershy fell to her forelegs, still trembling. "Just, please, give me a chance... Let me try to do it at least... I don't care if it's still the same after, I just want to know that at least once, I was able to make things right with them..."
The pony shook it's head disapprovingly. It snarled, "All you're doing is making things worse for yourself. Suffering more. It's not hard to weep once you finally accept that everypony you care about will shun you, or perish someday in the first place anyways."
Two clasped dark hooves laid out, pulling apart from one another to unfold a somehow intangible moving picture. It shifted from various events Fluttershy remembered witnessing in the past, such as the Cutie Mark Crusaders' embarrassing entry in a talent show, the highly disappointing Grand Galloping Gala, and the arrogant, gloating Trixie's sham magic show. Last but not least was the Hearth's Warming Eve, the very same pageant that Fluttershy had lamented over the truly deep meanings behind it somehow being lost on her friends, let alone right after it was over.
"Life is a performance. If you've sat through half of it, and each and every moment stank so far, it won't improve to make it worth your time at the very end. Nopony can blame you for walking out early."
The pony's speech and display had chilled Fluttershy even further. She blinked -- and was laying in her bed, alone in her room.
In the natural flow of time, the week Fluttershy spent with Rainbow Dash was really only a moment. But it still took it's toll on her. She was so tired that it was hard to not go to sleep, retiring back to bed within frozen time every few hours and staying there for days. Now, it was hard to not stay awake. Her newest, chilling nightmare had shocked all exhaustion out of her.
At first, it was hard for her to do anything. She would shrink at a shadow, or freeze at a small noise, alert in fear of the mysterious visitor who threatened to take her life. Even worse than that, it knew her secrets. Even if they were just dreams, it didn't change that the experiences felt too lifelike to not be believed.
She wanted to go outside, see her friends, do anything and everything needed to forget the horrible event, but her nerves were too shot, her anxiety and paranoia still fresh. Fluttershy abandoned her thoughts, following instead wherever her instincts took her throughout her house; drinking a glass of water, taking a shower, crying in her bed, staring out the window, humming a soothing song. Frozen hours passed until her cathartic expressions played their part, giving her the refreshment and courage needed to continue her task.
With her recent experiences making it harder and harder to tell between dreams and reality, Fluttershy hadn't quite trusted Vesper enough to talk to him about all this, even if he was right there in the house and could see and hear everything. She thought about asking him to leave, but if he was as powerful and malevolent as she feared he might be, something bad could come of that. And yet, something in her wanted to believe that maybe he really had nothing to do with it at all. Something about the way the dark figure in her dream mentioned granting wishes had weakened her suspicions.
The next thing she would do was head to Twilight Sparkle's house. Fluttershy used the sands to resume the flow of time, then gently rapped on the door. A few moments later, the unicorn she wanted to see answered, looking flustered, possibly from a recent argument with Spike.
"Oh, hello, Fluttershy. What brings you here?"
"Twilight, I... I need to ask you a favor. It'll sound really confusing, and I can't explain it right now, but it's really important to me. Will you please help me?"
Twilight was initially perplexed, but seemed to be alright with trying to help. "Well, okay. What is it, exactly?"
"I'm trying to find some people who live here in Ponyville. I thought I remembered you having an index of residents somewhere in your library..."
"Ah, yes! Come on in, we'll get started. Who is it you're looking for?" Twilight asked as they entered her house. She was already using her magic to levitate a book from a high shelf within reading distance.
"Well, one of them is a pegasus... His name is Skylar... He had a gray coat, and a blue mane... I think he's one of the weather ponies... And... He had no cutie mark..."
Twilight paused at the last detail. "No cutie mark? I didn't think they'd let underage colts work for the weather team!"
"No, that's the thing... He wasn't underage... He was about as old as you and I, maybe even a tiny bit older than that..."
Twilight's ears lowered as her face scrunched in confusion. "A full grown colt... And no cutie mark?... That's unheard of... And so... Sad..."
Fluttershy nodded softly. "Please, see if you can find him... I... I needed to talk to him about something..."
"Alright then." Twilight started to comb through the pages, searching for Skylar's name, but couldn't seem to find it. She then closed her eyes and concentrated yet another spell, causing the book to close, open, and flip through each page front to back before closing again, searching for the specific piece of knowledge Fluttershy was searching for.
Twilight frowned. "Sorry, Fluttershy. There's nopony by that name living here. Maybe he's from out of town."
Fluttershy averted her eyes.
'I had a feeling that was going to happen...'
"What about an earth pony? Her name is Auburn. Her cutie mark's a house. I think she's a carpenter."
Twilight repeated the process at Fluttershy's request, but alas, came up empty-hoofed once again.
"No, no one by that name, either," she sighed. "If it really means that much to you, I can pull up additional resources from Canterlot, or ask Princess Celestia. I'm supposed to get a whole bunch of new books from there today any ways; I have them on a list, and I think none have to do with finding ponies, but maybe there's one I forgot about."
Fluttershy's ears lowered in disappointment. "That's okay, Twilight. You don't have to go through all that effort just for me."
"Really, I don't mind! Of course, I probably won't get to do it until tonight since those new books will probably take all day, but I'll make sure it gets done. But, if this Auburn is an earth pony, and a laborer, there might be a chance she's related to Applejack. Granny Smith helped found Ponyville after all, so maybe she stopped by for a family visit once. I would go ask them."
'I was going to see Applejack next any ways, so that's a good thing. I'll have to remember that.'
"Thank you, Twilight."
Twilight's eyes slightly lowered. "Say, what do you have in that pouch?"
Fluttershy was briefly startled. "J-just, some birdseed I picked up at a store."
'That's the second time I've had to tell her the same lie. Time travel sure is confusing.'
She hadn't wanted to bring up the sands, or the Panacea Crystal around the unicorn, knowing Twilight would launch into another fevered rambling spree about what she should do with it. Thankfully, Twilight didn't probe any further, and with a polite goodbye, Fluttershy was on her way out.
Fluttershy was in a hurry to get back to Sweet Apple Acres. It didn't matter that she'd frozen time again, she felt bad for not going back to check back on Applejack earlier to make sure Rainbow's damage wasn't still there. She wanted to, but the momentary week she'd spent with the pegasi tuckered her out so much that she'd hit the ground as soon as she tried to fly out the door, ending up ruefully dragging herself back to bed.
'I never thought I'd be glad that a nightmare scared me enough to get active again...'
Upon arriving, she had found Applejack in the same state she was before the Rainbow incident; just starting another tiresome, grueling day of harvesting apples. She was about to buck a tree that she had placed an apple cart next to. Applejack looked worn out, like she was ready to fall back asleep at a moment's notice. Hoping she wouldn't startle her too badly, Fluttershy placed one hoof on the sands and the other on Applejack while she focused, bringing her to life.
"What in the hay -- Fluttershy? What brings you here so early in the morn --" Applejack's eyes grew wide as she immediately noticed a strange sight on the horizon. "Why are those birds stuck in place?"
"They're okay, Applejack. Everything's okay," Fluttershy reassured her. "Well, actually, everything's not okay... I mean, it is okay, in the we're-all-safe-and-nothing's-going-to-kill-us way, but, not in the everyone-is-happy-and-getting-along way..."
Applejack's mouth was still agape from the strange phenomena, but she nodded softly. "... Uh huh..." she shook herself out of her seeming trance and refocused her attention to Fluttershy. "So what's this now about people having problems? Somepony got an issue they need to take up with me?"
Fluttershy bit her lip, remembering what happened with Rainbow. "I'll get to that in a minute... But first... Does your face hurt?" she tilted her head to the side curiously, truly concerned.
Applejack blinked. "Nah, it feels fine," she replied flatly. She then snickered slightly, "Why, is it killing you?"
Fluttershy blushed and averted her eyes. "N-no... Just... Never mind... Anyhow, you haven't done anything wrong, Applejack. I just wanted to talk, because, frankly, I've noticed that we've all been pretty uneasy lately... Like, things just aren't the way they used to be, we're not as close as before..."
Applejack frowned, and her ears lowered. "Well, I reckon you're correct. I was meaning to go see Rainbow later today after I get my work done, but, I don't know if she'd want to see me. Every time I'd go looking for her lately, I couldn't find her anyplace she normally goes. And when I ask around, everypony says they thought they saw Rainbow heading to some hill, and I can't ever seem to find that either."
Fluttershy started to feel nervous. "Um, yeah... About Rainbow Dash..."
After a long pause, Applejack blinked. "Yeah, what about her?"
Fluttershy opened her mouth to speak, but couldn't bring herself to do so.
Applejack started to get impatient. "Come on, spit it out! Spill the beans!" she pressured her.
Finally, it all unfurled. Fluttershy told Applejack about how upset Rainbow was with Applejack's apparent disposition towards her, as well as Rainbow's frustration with trying to patch up her friendship, with all the pain that it caused her. She detailed Rainbow's willingness to resolve the problems between them. However, Fluttershy left out the part about Rainbow beating Applejack to a pulp while time was frozen, fearing it would discourage her.
"But I can see that you've been wanting to help, too, and maybe she just didn't realize it. I don't know, but, maybe her going up to that hill or wherever she was all the time was because it started to hurt too much and she didn't know how to talk to you. That's just what I think it is, anyways," Fluttershy murmured, finishing her recap of the pegasi's concerns.
Applejack was worried. "Oh, my. I had no idea she thought I was... I got over all those things she did, the pranks and the mistakes, but there's just been a lot of my mind. It wasn't anypony's fault." She hung her head.
Fluttershy felt something starting to call to her from within her chest. It was similar to the 'beckoning' sensation she felt when she first found the Panacea Crystal, which she now associated with the 'emotional bleeding' she'd experienced with Rainbow Dash. Whatever Applejack was feeling, it was intense, and bothering her greatly.
"... Does it have to do with your family?" Fluttershy asked, following some newfound instinct.
Applejack started to look nervous. "Well... Yes..."
The sensation grew stronger. A growing onslaught of mixed emotions; guilt, frustration, bitterness, sympathy, pain, and affection all bubbling in one chaotic stew. "... Is it Granny Smith?"
"Now, look just a darn minute here," Applejack promptly replied. "I love my Granny more than anything in Equestria, I swear! I just... I just..."
"Applejack... You don't have to tell me anything that you're not ready to. I don't want to make you uncomfortable. But, anything that you would like to tell me, I won't judge you for, and I won't tell anypony anything you don't want them to know. I promise."
This seemed to partially reassure Applejack, helping calm her down. "Well, okay... See, the thing is... Granny Smith... Says these things to me sometimes that really bother me... I don't think she means them, I mean, I don't think she means to make me feel the way they do... But I still feel that way when she says it anyways..."
"Like what, Applejack?"
The 'emotional bleeding' was getting stronger; the mixed feelings contained within Applejack were rising in intensity. Fluttershy suddenly started hearing Granny's voice, slinging many phrases simultaneous with Applejack remembering them, in an endless flow, imprints that were made carelessly or impulsively;
"Well, this is just like when you left for Manehattan as a filly. We went ahead and let you do what you wanted, and you saw where that got you."
"This isn't what your parents would have wanted from you."
"That is not how I raised you."
"Our family would be so ashamed of you."
"Now don't you remember when you almost left us all because you didn't make first place in the Canterlot Rodeo? Your siblings and I were heartbroken. You were going to stay there until you raised enough money to fix town hall, but in your letter all you told us was you weren't coming back. What were we supposed to think that meant?!?"
"I need your help. You know I have a bad hip. You wouldn't leave behind your poor, old Granny Smith, would you?"
Applejack was shuddering. Fluttershy was still recoiling from the sudden rush of emotions and memories that hit her, coming straight from her friend.
"... Applejack? Are you okay?"
Applejack bit her lip, squinting her eyes, trying desperately to contain the pain she was experiencing, not wanting to lose herself in front of Fluttershy. "My Granny Smith is good to me... She fed, sheltered, and looked after me nearly all my life, and she still supports me now... Just because she says or does a few things here and there doesn't change any of that..."
Fluttershy felt a pang of guilt sting her. These were private things that Applejack hadn't meant to reveal. She could understand wanting to keep personal secrets, especially since one of her own was unearthed by the dark visitor this morning, but this sounded unhealthy. Maybe it would be good for Applejack to get this out.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
Applejack promptly shook her head. "It's nothing to worry about. I'm just dealing with it, like anypony should."
"Let me show you something, Applejack," Fluttershy insisted as she closed in. She gently placed one hoof on the back of Applejack's mane and the other on the sands. "You see those birds up there?"
"Yeah," Applejack nodded.
Fluttershy focused, and right before their eyes, the birds started flying backwards, slowly. She concentrated again, and the birds froze in place once more, along with the rest of the world.
Applejack was astonished. "By golly, that's incredible! H-how'd you do that?!?"
"These sands, in here... They can control time, Applejack. All you have to do is touch them, and concentrate really hard on whatever it is you want them to do." Fluttershy promptly took the pouch off from around her neck, and placed it on Applejack's instead. "If you say something that you want to take back, or I react in a way that you don't want, all you have to do is rewind time, and I'll forget all about it. I promise. Okay?"
Applejack was still overwhelmed, trembling at the amount of power that had suddenly been placed in her hooves. She felt deeply touched for Fluttershy's level of trust in her and a willingness to hear her out, but wasn't quite registering that just yet out of all the recent surprises. That, and her capacity towards independence tended to lead to her holding a lot in.
"... I... I don't know..." Applejack was looking nervous, conflicted. She was frightened of possibly showing more discomfort she thought wasn't worth paying attention to, or saying something to hurt Fluttershy, but her inner demons were desperately wanting out.
"Fine. I guess I'll give it a try."
Applejack had insisted on going back to her bedroom with Fluttershy. It was where she first experienced many of the feelings waiting to come out, and she felt odd about standing outside on the farm discussing the matter. She sat on the foot of her bed, with Fluttershy sitting opposite of her in a chair across the room. Applejack was still holding the sand pouch in her hoof, as if afraid to let go. She took a deep breath, and then got started.
"Alright, so... I've been really worried. About Granny Smith," she began. "She's... She's getting pretty old, and she's not like she used to be... I mean, she's definitely the same person, loving and caring and all, but, her body's not doing so good, and every day it gets a little worse. She's in pain a lot, and it's really hard for her to move, and do things. I've gotta help her out often, which I don't mind at all. She's gotta be really careful, because she can get hurt easy, maybe really badly. We both know it's a natural part of getting old and all, but I always see how she gets all misty-eyed when she gets reminded of times she was better than she is now... Just a really sweet mare, and I can't stand how she had so many things taken from her so early."
Applejack shook her head slowly, her eyes glossed with grief. "People don't take her so seriously or treat her like she's important anymore, even though she helped get this town going in the first place. Some of the younger ponies, like Apple Bloom's classmates, make fun of her. It's like nopony respects her anymore. It's bad enough she's not doing too good health-wise... And then, we lost my parents, and she took on the burden of raising all three of us..."
The earth pony began to shudder. "She was good to us, though, just like she was good to them. But my Granny Smith herself didn't have it as nice as we did when she was our age. Her parents would hit her whenever she got in trouble, and put her to work in labor all by herself way too young. And, well, she promised that she'd never do those kinds of things to us or my parents, and she never broke that promise." She sniffled softly, and looked up.
"I still remember the day it happened. Apple Bloom was still really, really little, and Big Macintosh and I were in our early teens. She'd just gotten us started on working the fields applebucking. Sure, we were in our physical prime, and she wasn't, but applebucking's such a rough task, especially if you're not used to it. So she'd help us out. She enjoyed it. She liked walking and running out in the sun, jumping around, kicking trees, feeling alive. But after about two months of showing us the ropes, well..."
Applejack bit her lip, and looked away, covering her eyes with her empty hoof. She stifled back a few more sniffles, and attempted to regain her composure, wanting to continue. "We were just getting started in the sunrise. Two hours in, Big Macintosh and I were aching something fierce, because our hooves were still only just getting acquainted with the act. So there was Granny, trying to pick up our slack, when she... Her..."
Applejack squinted, and a tear squeezed out from her eyelids. Her sniffles were getting louder. "She kicked this one tree a little too hard, and her hip gave out... I still remember how awful it was, her falling over and unable to get up. I've never heard Big Macintosh shout so loud in my life, yelling for help. Apple Bloom was really scared. Hell, we were all scared. Ponyville Urgent Care was able to do enough to keep her safe, but, she couldn't get surgery to fix it entirely, because it was too expensive..."
She released a shuddering sigh, hanging her head. "She would've been able to cover it if she wanted, between the farm's earnings and the savings my parents left behind, but she insisted she use it on raising us instead, since she got injured. The choice wasn't up to us three, since we were all still underage at the time. But I felt so guilty. If only I could've been stronger, like her, and kept bucking those apples, it wouldn't have happened... I promised her I'd get the money to fix it right away. It's been years, and I still don't have it..."
Applejack's face twisted into bitter self-loathing. Her empty hoof quivered. "Granny could still do a lot of things. She still can. They're just... Slow, and difficult... And every day, it gets even harder for her, and there's less and less things she can do. She was so upset when it'd gotten so bad that she couldn't even play with Apple Bloom anymore. They always had so much fun, and it hurt her so much that it went away. She cried all day. So, I... I tried to return the favor, and pick up where she left off. I love Apple Bloom anyways, and try to do everything I can for her."
At this point, Applejack paused. Fluttershy had been listening intently the whole time, giving her her full attention, never once interrupting. A heavy, tense silence hung in the air. Applejack was hesitating, becoming nervous. She was surprised at how liberating and refreshing it felt to voice her troubles, but still wasn't used to expressing them so freely. A grueling, familiar nerve shot throughout her, equal portions of anger and affection resurfacing, which Fluttershy was able to pick up on.
"Now, the thing about Granny having all these issues -- getting old, being disabled, being in pain -- make her act in ways I'm sure she doesn't mean to. Like when she tells me things that hurt my feelings. I know it can't be easy putting up with all the things she's had piling onto her saddle. I'd probably be pretty cranky and angry too if I ever had those things happen to me. It's just... Sometimes, it hurts a little too much, and the way she looks at me, or talks to me, and how she treats me makes me feel unwelcome. Like I'm some stranger, instead of her granddaughter. I try to remember that it's just her own troubles making her be that way, but, I just can't stand it..."
Applejack slammed her empty hoof on the bed, slightly startling Fluttershy. "I probably deserve it for not being able to live up to my promise yet, or find some other way to make up for everything she's done for me all these years, but I just hate it! It's not like I don't care, or I'm not trying! And she labels me like I'm some ungrateful, selfish kid! It's not fair! I know that she's worked harder her whole life than I ever have, I know she's a great grandma and a great person, I'm not trying to deny those things at all! I just wish she could see how hard this is for me, but she can't believe that I'm not what she thinks I am!" She started to breathe heavily, intimidating Fluttershy.
Applejack took a moment to calm down, becoming morose. "B-but... I still love her... I appreciate her, and how she raised and supported me, and I want her to stop hurting and get better and be happy again," she explained. "I-I miss when I could wake up in the morning and head downstairs and feel... Warm, loved, instead of scared, or disapproved of..." she started wiping tears from her eyes. "Any way... As I was saying... I doubled my efforts to be there for Apple Bloom, since Granny Smith couldn't do as many things with her anymore, and that made Apple Bloom sad, too."
"This whole thing with Granny... Hurting my feelings on accident, had been happening for a really long time, and it only got worse as it continued. I didn't want the same thing to happen to Apple Bloom. I wanted to make sure she grew up feeling like there was always somepony who cared about her. That she could come home and feel safe, warm, welcome, loved. I think, sometimes, I didn't do as good at this as I'd have liked to, cause Granny hurting me was making me a little fussy, just like her old age and bad hip were doing to her. So sometimes I'd kind of snap at Apple Bloom without meaning to, or even be short or ornery with you and our other friends. Like the time I cheated at the Running Of The Leaves because Rainbow did it, too, and I shouldn't have," she blushed.
Applejack took off her hat and placed it beside her. "And that made me feel bad, too. So when I couldn't do it all by myself, I'd try to find other things to help Apple Bloom. With the money we made every day from the apple farm, I'd split my share in half. One would be saved for Granny's hip surgery, and the other would be used to take out Apple Bloom to have fun. We'd go eat lunch at places she liked, see shows, go to amusement parks, and I'd also buy her games and toys."
Applejack looked at her hat somberly, beginning to caress it. "Except, I couldn't necessarily fix everything that was bugging her... She wanted her cutie mark more than anything. All her schoolmates would be mean to her because of it. She knew about how we Apples tended to be the last in our class to get their marks, and it just killed her. It bothered her so badly she did crazy things, like coercing customers into buying apples and stealing that one potion from Zecora. So I made another promise. I promised I'd do everything I could to help Apple Bloom find her cutie mark. Except I had no darn clue how to go about doing this, and I don't think I could make her age faster in order to get it."
"But buying her all those things and taking her everywhere couldn't make Apple Bloom forget those bullies teasing her. Not even my promise." Applejack paused, and started to slightly smile. "So, I gave her the next best thing I could think of. Everypony has a birthday. But not everypony has their own holiday, just for them. I came up with the tradition of the Sisterhooves Social, just for Apple Bloom. Sure, it's not a real holiday, but it's a yearly celebration. I wanted to show her she didn't need a cutie mark, cause she's already the best little sis I could ask for. I wanted to show all of Ponyville -- no, all of Equestria -- how much she meant to me."
Applejack slowly grew saddened once more, and released a sigh. "But, you see... Granny Smith always trying to call me selfish made me feel bad... She did it so much that I actually believed I was selfish, even though I think about everypony else all the time... So, I tried to be as unselfish as possible by never asking for help. I had a little sis and an old, frail grandma depending on me -- how could I help them if I couldn't even help myself? And even so, it'd get out of control sometimes, like that one Applebuck Season when Twilight was still new in town," she blushed again. "I just... I just didn't feel good accepting help I thought I didn't earn. That's why I tried to help you all first."
"I think it all started when I wanted to move in with my Uncle and Aunt Orange in Manehattan while I was still a young filly. I told Apple Bloom and her friends that it was because I didn't want to do farm labor all my life. But it was also because I was afraid of Granny. I couldn't understand why somepony who's supposed to love you and take care of you could make me feel so loathed and unwanted. I was petrified at the idea of having to face that every day, unsure whether she'd smile and hug me or yell at me to go to my room. But of course I was so little I didn't know she acted that way because of her pains and aches yet."
She looked back at Fluttershy. "And that time I'd gone to Dodge Junction cause I'd lost the Canterlot Rodeo... Well... That year, the prize money would've been enough not just to fix Town Hall, but to get Granny her hip surgery, and even some more left over. I wanted to use the remains to get Apple Bloom anything she needed in order to help find her cutie mark, and fulfill both promises in one shot. And, of course, it didn't pull through the way I'd hoped..." Applejack sighed.
"But being there, where everypony was a stranger, and I'd be spending quite a while making the money I needed to bring back... Well... It was good and bad. Of course, I missed you all, and the rest of the Apple family, but I'd needed some time to sort my problems out anyhow, because I was supposed to be independent, of course. I didn't have to wake up every morning and hear Granny berate me for some other mistake I made, and spend all day afterwards hating myself for being mad at her hurting me while knowing I love her and want to help her get better. But the whole time I couldn't stop thinking about how she needed me. How Apple Bloom needed me."
"I'd wrote Ponyville that I wasn't going to come back because I didn't know how long it would take for me to cool off. Maybe it might've taken forever and I would've had no idea." Applejack had another small, bittersweet smile as she shook her head. "And then you and our friends came to see me. Boy, that sure surprised the heck out of me. It was so... Nice, and scary, at the same time. I missed you guys, too, but I felt like I wasn't ready to come back yet, even if I did have the money I needed. I didn't have enough alone time to myself to sort out my problems, so that I could stop snapping at all of you and quit depending on you for so much."
Applejack looked ashamed. "And silly Pinkie trusted me so much that she thought she could hold me to her little Pinkie Promise... You all wanted me to tell you what it was that made me leave Ponyville, and I just wasn't ready yet... I was supposed to be the loyalest and most dependable pony of all, I couldn't let you guys see that I was... Weak, needy, and selfish, and so upset over such little things... And I made another promise I couldn't keep. Just like with Granny's hip and Apple Bloom's happiness. And when we finally got back, and I returned home... Granny really, really let me have it. Everything I was trying to escape was waiting for me there, building up and catching up to me tenfold."
Applejack tried to keep herself from crying. "That's when I realized, I'm not the Element Of Honesty. I make promises I can't keep all the time. I hide things from my friends and family. I let other ponies drag me down to the level of their actions when I get upset. I'd kept telling Granny and Apple Bloom that I'd help get them everything they needed, and after all these years, I've never been able to do it. I'm a failure. A disappointment. Just the way Granny makes me feel. She's completely right."
The tense silence returned, as Applejack forced herself to choke back on her tears. The entire tale was a double-edged sword; reopening old wounds in order to let their pain out. Fluttershy waited to see if Applejack had anything else to say. She had listened all the way through without ever losing focus on her. She could literally see and feel Applejack's anguish being pulled out from inside.
Finally, Fluttershy spoke. "I don't think you're a failure or a disappointment, Applejack. You're a really great person. You do everything you can to help others, and you care and think about them all the time. You deserve to be treated the way you treat them. To be given good things, for all your good actions."
"Oh, yeah?!?" Applejack snapped, startling Fluttershy. "Then why do I hide things?!? It's dishonest, it's not right!"
Fluttershy paused, remaining calm. "Keeping secrets and lying are two different things, Applejack. Everypony needs their own level of personal space and confidentiality. Some people need more privacy and solitude, and others need more openness and connectivity. We all have our own unique, individual needs. Needs that should be respected. Nopony can know or understand your own needs better than your own self. It didn't make you selfish or a bad person for wanting some space to cool off; it's good for you since it helps you, and it's good for everypony else since you'll be more refreshed and relaxed once you come back."
Applejack started to mull over Fluttershy's words, slowing to a halt. "Well, I reckon you're right, I guess. But I still didn't want to leave Apple Bloom and Granny Smith behind. I just keep feeling like I need that space, and I haven't been able to get it. I could stay in Ponyville where you guys live and be badgered by Granny, or go further out and you'll all be left behind. There's nothing I can do where everypony wins."
Fluttershy's ears lowered. "Well, no, maybe there isn't a perfect solution here, but... If you want to, you can stay with me for a while. I'll let you do anything you need to help make it better. That way you'll still be close enough to Ponyville that you can maybe visit Sweet Apple Acres once a week. Maybe, if it's okay with them, you could even bring Apple Bloom to stay with you. We'd still be able to take her to school in the morning, and pick her up after. That way you'll still be able to spend time with her. You can still love Granny Smith and try to help her get better while being away to heal from what she's done to you."
Applejack started to calm down. "That sounds really nice... I think both of us would like that." She picked up her hat and placed it in her lap. "I... I still feel bad about not being able to keep promises to all of you, though..."
"Nopony can see the future. We have no way of knowing for sure whether we can keep promises. All that matters, Applejack, is that you still try your best to complete them, and you honestly mean to. That's why you're the Element Of Honesty. Your honest intentions. You always mean well, and value honesty very highly. It shows more through your actions than what you say, and that's completely okay."
Applejack nodded, more and more relief washing over her as Fluttershy continued to support her. "... I'm just so intimidated by Granny... I don't know how she'll take the news of me leaving the farm again, even if it's only for a little while, and still close to Ponyville... It's one thing to sit here and tell you all these things, but, I'd break her heart or she'd break mine if she heard all this..."
Fluttershy hesitated. "Maybe... You can tell her right now..."
Applejack was immediately alarmed. "What?!? No!!! She -- she'll scold me and never give me a chance to say everything I mean!!!"
"Wait a moment," Fluttershy asserted. "I don't mean it like that. What I mean is... Time's frozen right now... And we're the only ones moving. You can go downstairs and sit with Granny to tell her all this. She won't be able to interrupt you. She won't even hear it. It'll be like... Writing a letter to somepony with everything you need to tell them, and not sending it. I think it might help. Do you want to try it?"
"So, that's why I'm going to be leaving the farm for a little while," Applejack sniffled. "I'll still work the farm, and come to visit every week, but, right now I need to do this. I just hope you know I still love you. I always will. And even if sometimes the way you treat me makes me not believe it, I know you love me, too. I'll be at Fluttershy's the whole time, and I'll come back and stay as soon as everything is alright." She had followed Fluttershy's suggestion and let all of her woes pour out onto Granny Smith, who was frozen in time, eased back in her rocking chair.
Fluttershy had stood by and watched the entire time. Applejack still had the sands around her neck, and was holding them readily in her hoof in case she needed to use it for anything, but surprisingly, she never used them even once. Getting herself to confess all of her true feelings to Granny had been an arduous task, even though she couldn't react and was completely oblivious; Applejack would occasionally shrink or flinch upon saying things she thought were unwelcome, normally used to rejection, interruption, and criticism. By the very end, a wave of tension and pain slowly ebbed away, and she looked much more relaxed.
Applejack smiled softly, slowly getting up from her chair and handing the sands back to Fluttershy. "Thanks, Fluttershy. That was very... Therapeutic. I think that was really good for me."
"Oh, it's no problem, Applejack. If it's okay with you, though, can I please ask you something?"
"Sure thing, Sugarcube. What's on your mind?"
"I was wanting to know if you knew anypony named Auburn. She's a carpenter. I asked Twilight, and she thought she was possibly a relative of yours."
Applejack looked perplexed. "No, I don't think I know anypony named Auburn, but it does sound a tiny bit familiar for some reason. Why don't you come with me and I'll look and see."
She lead Fluttershy through a series of different rooms, until she retrieved a large book. The Apple Family Tree.
"Let's see here... Ah, here she is," Applejack affirmed, placing a hoof next to Auburn's name.
Fluttershy was startled at the details. She'd been dead for nearly twelve hundred years. "She... She never married, or had any children?"
"Apparently not. Well, according to this, anyhow. Pretty sad. Maybe she was going to, but kicked the bucket before she got the chance. I'd never heard anything about her from Granny Smith or any of my other relatives, at least I think so. I'll have to ask around and see. Is there any particular reason you wanted to know about her?"
"... No. Never mind. It's not important."
Applejack found this strange, but decided to drop the subject. "Well, okay then." She closed the book. "I... I might find it a little hard to tell Granny Smith about staying with you once I'm ready to do it for real... Could you maybe be there with me again, just to be there for me and back me up?"
Fluttershy nodded.
Applejack embraced her. "Thank you ever so much. I don't know what I'd do without you."
Fluttershy's bewildering discovery about Auburn had lead to her returning to Twilight Sparkle's house. She'd placed Applejack back in Ponyville's regular timeline before freezing time once more. She looked through the window at Twilight, starting to use the sands to move the timeline forward for the first time. Within mere minutes, the day passed, showing Twilight bickering and arguing with Spike all day long while they struggled to organize all the newly arrived books.
'Poor Spike... Maybe when I finally get around to Twilight Sparkle, I can help them both, like Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo...'
Finally, she froze time again upon seeing Twilight vigorously studying a book similar to the one she had earlier. Fluttershy let the time flow and return to normal, and knocked on the door gently. Twilight answered, looking exhausted once again from a stressful day, although she appeared glad to see Fluttershy at her doorstep.
"Hey, Fluttershy! I was just about to come look for you! Please excuse the mess, we... We didn't get as much done today as we'd hoped to. And it's too late to continue, so we'll pick up and finish tomorrow. However, I was looking through more ways of trying to find that Skylar pegasus you mentioned."
"Yes?" Fluttershy beamed with interest.
Twilight Sparkle frowned. "I'm sorry, Fluttershy, but, it looks like Skylar doesn't exist. In fact, we couldn't find anypony by that name at all. Even Princess Celestia wasn't able to find him."
Fluttershy's heart sank. "Oh... Okay..."
Twilight eyed the pouch again. "Still got that bird seed? Aren't those blue jays at your house starving by now?"
Fluttershy blushed, feigning surprise. "Oh my gosh, yes! I completely forgot! I'm sorry Twilight, but I need to go right now so I can take care of them!" As soon as she galloped off out of her eyesight, she froze time once more, and rewound it to the night before.
"Coming, Mother."
Skylar trotted into the bedroom and placed the bowl of soup on the nightstand.
"Where have you been lately?"
Skylar blushed. "Busy, Mother. The weather team keeps me overtime because of my shortcomings. I told you that. You know that."
"Are you sure it's not because you've been seeing that earth pony again? You two aren't serious, are you?"
Skylar wordlessly continued about his chores.
"She doesn't make a lot of money. You know that. How are you two ever going to be able to support yourselves if you both make minimum wage? You know what people are going to say if they see a pegasus and an earth pony together. I don't mind it, but you could get into a lot of trouble!"
"Mother, she's really nice," Skylar sighed, irritated and hurt.
"I'm not saying she isn't! I'm just worried about you. I don't want to see you get hurt. I want you to find the right girl. Somepony who can give you everything you need, for all your life. I'm sorry, son, but she just isn't the one."
Skylar continued trying to ignore his mother's criticisms the best he could. He loved her, and she was a good mother, but something about her kept holding him back. She was so smothering, and overprotective. So judgmental.
He found it endearing that Auburn and her father built homes for people who couldn't afford them. That they accepted the lowest prices possible, not out of competitive salesmanship, but genuine concern for the wellbeing of their fellow ponies.
It was hard enough that he was in his twenties without a cutie mark. It was hard enough that he was the most loathed weather pony on the team. It was hard enough that he had to keep his romance with Auburn a secret. It was hard enough that his mother always dictated the course of his life.
But he never minded having to take care of her. She was crippled. Reduced to only the bed and the wheelchair. He'd take her around town and help her do everything she needed to. They were the only ones living in the same house; she depended on him for everything. He worked to repay everything she'd done in raising him, and excused every time she hurt him, knowing that it was unintentional, an unforeseen result of her own suffering.
Fluttershy awoke, dumbfounded by yet another dream of the nonexistent pegasus. Her curiosity outweighed any fearful inhibitions she held towards asking Vesper about the situation. How is it that she had lifelike dreams about complete strangers, one who was a real person she never even knew about, and the other entirely nonexistent somehow? How was it that she thought she saw them in Ponyville, when Granny Smith was a pioneer long after Auburn died?
When Twilight first told her that neither Auburn nor Skylar could be found in her records, she initially thought she was going insane. That, or her dreams really were getting too intense, and lucid. Maybe it was both. She timidly approached the genie, still unsure as to whether or not he was responsible for her recent nightmares and suffering. Surprisingly, he was as calm and patient as ever, as if Fluttershy had never gotten angry towards him at all. After confirming he was indeed content, she softly asked about the connection between Skylar and Auburn, if indeed she was real and he wasn't.
"Skylar is a real person," Vesper answered. "His mother, April -- the crippled pony you saw -- she had an affair with a unicorn, and was impregnated by him. She was already married to another pegasus, and back in that age it was considered illegal to have interracial copulation. When the father discovered Skylar would be born an alicorn, he cast a powerful spell on him while still in the womb. It took away his horn and magic abilities, but at the cost of erasing his cutie mark for life."
Fluttershy was stunned. "So he... Never ... Got his cutie mark?..."
"No, he didn't."
"... What would it have been if he did get it?"
"A heart, for caring."
"I watched a change in you
It's like you never had wings
Now you feel so alive
I've watched you change"
Deftones's "Change (In The House Of Flies)"
"Stop!!! No!!! Leave me alone!!!" Fluttershy sobbed as she galloped frantically, trying to outrun her tormentors. Her hooves were sore, and her lungs burned as she gasped breathlessly, hot tears streaming across her face.
A malicious, smirking Rainbow Dash caught up to her in mid-flight effortlessly. She chuckled sadistically, "What's the matter, Fluttershy? You didn't know that I meant to knock you out of Cloudsdale? It made me so happy, I thought you were going to fall and get impaled by a tree, or get eaten by some grizzly bear. That's the only reason I could do my Sonic Rainboom, you know. Because I was hoping you would suffer."
She began circling around Fluttershy, never falling behind even as the yellow pegasus continued to run at full speed. Her own surrounding movements grew faster, melting into a blur, as if she were trapping Fluttershy inside of a rainbow cyclone.
"I thought all of Cloudsdale would throw a party once they realized you vanished. Mach, Bullet and I sure had a lot of laughs over it. But you know what? Nopony even noticed you were gone. Ever. Not even today, years and years after it happened. Whenever I visit, I ask everypony else if they remember you, and they just say, 'Fluttershy who'?"
Soon, the rapid spinning generated a forceful enough wind to propel Fluttershy into the air, who was helpless to do anything about it. Startled, she shrieked in alarm, waving her limbs and wings in a futile attempt to stop herself, her fall cut short by a dark, mushy substance. Mud?
'No. Frosting.'
Fluttershy attempted to lift herself back on her hooves, wiping her eyes to discover that she landed on a giant piece of chocolate cake. From further out on the horizon, she slowly pieced together the growing image of a prancing Pinkie Pie approaching closer. She, too, appeared eager to witness Fluttershy in pain and fear.
"We were all so grateful when Gilda humiliated you in broad daylight! She was only doing what everypony else in Ponyville wanted to do! We threw her a party in thanks, and all those pranks were put there with you in mind, but she set them all off first! What a disappointment! You're so timid and uptight, you wouldn't know 'fun' if it punched you in the face!"
Fluttershy clasped her hooves onto her ears, her teary eyes squeezed shut. "You don't mean it! You're just saying that!"
A lasso suddenly ensnared itself around Fluttershy's wings, violently pulling her off of her hooves and ramming her head straight into a solid tree trunk. Spoiled, rotten apples rained onto her, bursting open and soaking into her fur, painfully mixing with the blood trickling from her scalp. As the searing, white-hot sting faded from her vision, her ears rang, and Applejack's silhouette towered over her.
"Come on, now, 'Sugarcube'. Do you honestly believe anypony can put up with your spinelessness? You're as unwelcome in Equestria as a fox in a hen house. Who do you think you are, ordering me around like I don't know how to round up a bunch of vermin? You and your stupid bunny census."
Fluttershy rapidly shook her head, still in denial. "P-please, listen to me! All I ever wanted was to do just a little bit of good in the world! I was only trying to help you all!"
"Help us?!? When you deliberately break promises and hide things?" Rarity's voice echoed from the side.
Fluttershy turned to see the teary-eyed unicorn closing in on her.
Rarity felt betrayed. "How could you, Fluttershy? You told me you were going to hold onto the Panacea Crystal for me so I could have it when I was done working, and what do you do? You keep it for yourself instead and erase my memory of it ever happening. You used it for your own selfish reasons, wanting to look like a good friend to everypony so you could feel better about yourself."
"No, that's not what it's about, I promise! I only wanted to make things better! To make everything alright!"
"But I told you how much this meant to me! You would have helped me if you'd only just let me have it, like you promised!"
A blinding light exploded in Fluttershy's field of vision, engulfing everything around her, color and silhouettes dissipating into nothingness. A high pitched whistle, almost like a bird singing, splintered through the air, causing her to tremble to the bone. She kept trying to crouch away or shield her eyes from the brightness, only to lose her balance. Fluttershy fell back over the edge, a startled yelp escaping her lips as she plunged into the depths below. Her throat was too sore and dry to scream anymore. Suddenly, Fluttershy stopped in place, held still in the middle of the air.
Petrified, she shuddered.
'Wh-what's going on?!?...'
It was then that she noticed her form surrounded by a lavender aura, a faint magical noise hanging within earshot.
A menacing Twilight Sparkle emerged from the shadows, grimacing at the pegasus with such strong spite it looked like she was reacting to an atrocity.
"Fluttershy, you imbecile," she snarled between clenched teeth. "I thought I told you the Panacea Crystal wasn't some trinket you could parade around with, making it bend to your every whim. You're trying to play games with life and time itself when it should be in the hooves of much more careful ponies, with me, or with Princess Celestia. But no, you had to run off and let your petty feelings get the better of you. I should have known I couldn't trust you."
Fluttershy's tears flowed freely, trying to answer, only to find that she was seized by another slowly growing, intense pain. Parts of her were getting stretched out or compounded, to the point that she could have sworn she felt the tips of her rib cage getting dangerously close to her lungs, her flesh ready to rip from bone any moment.
Twilight only paced closer, taking her time. Her gaze remained fixed on Fluttershy's face, unblinking and without hesitation as the telekinetic aura surrounding her horn increased, and with it Fluttershy's pain and unhealth.
Straining in agony to get her vocal chords to cooperate, Fluttershy finally managed to beg to her friend, "Twilight, please! Give me another chance!"
Rainbow Dash zipped into view at Twilight's side. "Time's up, Fluttershy! No more sands!"
"You're not in charge here anymore!" Applejack bellowed.
Pinkie landed next to her. "You can't toy with reality as we know it!"
"Now suffer for everything you've done to us!!!" Rarity shrieked.
Twilight's radiant eyes filled with a blinding light, and Fluttershy began to feel internal ligaments and tendons separating in fiery, wet snaps , the first wave in a barrage of pain that had yet to unfold. She could only shudder helplessly.
'My friends, I'm sorry I hurt you...'
She closed her eyes, a single tear squeezing out between her eyelids. She braced herself for further agony, and --
"Your 'friends' hate you, Fluttershy."
Everything stopped.
That voice. That horrible, horrible voice.
Fluttershy opened her eyes, her vision full of darkness. The only source of light was a dim beacon from somewhere within the deep body of water just below her, the shore of which she was standing on the edge. Alone. Unscathed.
Out the corner of her eye, she noticed the mysterious, dark pony suddenly standing right next to her.
"You've known all along what they really think about you. Mocking you behind your back. Spitefully tolerating your presence. Wishing for you to perish. If you truly want to help them, you'd put yourself out of their misery and stop wasting their time."
Fluttershy's ears lowered, and she hung her head. Her spirit was too broken for her to reply. In a twisted way, he was right. She'd always feared that her friends secretly despised her, that her friendship was unwelcome. Her eyes closed, defeated.
The dark pony placed a foreleg onto the middle of Fluttershy's back, gently pushing down so that she was sitting on her hind legs. It then placed both front hooves onto the back of Fluttershy's head.
"So, let me help you... Don't fight it this time..."
He gradually pushed her face closer and closer to the surface.
"It will only hurt for a little while... This new pain will replace all of your old ones... A simple solution to solve all of your problems forever... Give in, and welcome your nonexistence..."
Fluttershy's eyelids became heavy, lazily twitching a few times before covering her pupils once more. The corners of her mouth slowly pulled into a relaxed, accepting smile.
"Yesss..." she whispered, relieved.
Her eyes closed, and without a second thought, the dark pony quickly dunked Fluttershy's entire head into the water, holding her down, mane and all.
'Please work.'
If she could breathe, she would have laughed out of surprise -- the first thing Fluttershy felt was refreshment from the incoming water coaxing and sliding down her parched throat. She'd remembered every detail of her dying nightmare, recalling the degrees of pain involved in completely drowning, and she was prepared for it all.
Although she wanted to wait until her friends were alright, she really did want to die --
'Not now. Focus. Concentrate.'
She forced her body to keep still, struggling to fight her natural instincts to survive, not wanting to reveal any signs of reluctance. Fluttershy tried the best she could to relax. She had expected the dull aches and growing stings that were weighing down on her skull, but not being in such situations often threw off her mental efforts to a certain point. It was helping that his hooves were touching right against her mane, at least. But she knew she'd only last mere minutes like this.
'Hurry up, before it's too late.'
The volume and pressure behind every heartbeat increased, pounding in her ears. Fluttershy's lungs and esophagus began to fill. She directed all of her adrenaline towards tapping into her innermost reserves of sheer willpower, fortifying the intense mental efforts encumbered by her dangerous headache.
'This is only another nightmare. He can't really hurt you here. You're going to wake up again. Tell yourself anything you need to in order to just get this right.'
She would have rejoiced if she weren't under so much stress and pain. Fluttershy finally triggered the 'emotional bleeding' syndrome she'd sought since she was submerged. Little by little, the effects trickled out, siphoning the mysterious stranger's pain, thoughts, and feelings into Fluttershy's own vessel. Barely remaining still, she listened;
'Soon. Soon, it will be done. She will be gone, and I will be free. Free to give Equestria what it deserves. To redefine the very act of breathing as unfathomable torment in the minds and hearts of everypony, everywhere.'
The revelation shocked Fluttershy into sputtering. A few bubbles of her oxygen rose to the surface and popped, bewildering the dark pony.
'He -- He wants to come to Equestria and destroy everything, kill everypony?!? Hurt all my friends?!? I can't let that happen!!! No!!! NO!!!'
Fluttershy's body finally sprang back to life, firmly planting her hooves back onto the ground and springing up, effectively bucking the stranger off of her with her back, reeling her neck back as she gasped breathlessly. The dark pony released a terrifying screech of rage at this act of defiance, taking a few steps back in disbelief. Fluttershy immediately fell onto her side, profusely coughing up copious volumes of water, the agony blurring her senses, her long, soggy mane in the way of her face.
As she strenuously fought to regain her breath, Fluttershy peered through pink strands of hair in fright at the stranger, more scared of her suspicions than it's appearance or presence.
"It's you, isn't it? You're Skylar, aren't you?"
"What does it matter if I am?"
To Fluttershy's expectant horror, the black flames dissipated, revealing the ash-grey pegasus with a cyan mane and tail -- complete with a barren flank -- confirming her question. The only supernatural features that remained were his awful, piercing red eyes and grating, soul-rending voice.
Fluttershy started to cry, turning her head aside. She struggled to speak between sputtering coughs. "You used... To be... So nice... When you were... Alive... What... What happened to you?"
Skylar appeared insulted. "What happened? What happened?!? I woke up. That's what happened."
Fluttershy tried to stand back up, slipping on the wet ground. "You used to care about people... It was -- it would've been -- your cutie mark..."
Skylar bitterly snickered. "Have I got news for you. Caring doesn't get you very far in life. Caring doesn't make you a lot of money, or win you any special privileges, or make your life any better."
Fluttershy sniffled, almost completely regaining her breath. "Wh-what about Auburn?"
The black flames suddenly rushed back over Skylar, enlarged as they furiously stormed towards Fluttershy. "That harlot left me for somepony else!!!" His maddened screams echoed through the cavernous abyss.
Fluttershy instinctively flinched, scurrying back a couple of feet. "But, she'd always say, 'it's not about you'..."
Skylar snarled. "I know that. She said that a lot of times. But she never meant it. She lied. She never loved me." He paced closer to Fluttershy, each step creating an echo from his solid hooves. "She used me to get what she wanted. Just like everypony else used me. And I cared, and cared, and cared about them the whole time, never standing up to them, never trying to get revenge on them. They would hurt me, lie to me, cheat me, use me, anything bad they could do, they'd do it. And they always got away scot free."
Fluttershy winced, her pupils shrinking. "I'm... I'm sorry..."
"Don't even bother. You're useless, you vociferous peon," Skylar scoffed.
"... Why... Why did she do it?..."
"Why? Because I'm useless, just like you, that's why. No cutie mark, no talents, no meaningful qualities. A lifetime of getting ridiculed and bullied by everypony in town, enslaved by my crippled mother. I couldn't even do the only job I could get right -- the worst weather pony in the history of Equestria. Auburn disappeared one day, and never came back. I waited, and waited, for years and years -- ten years -- and no sign of her. She was the best part of my life -- the only good part -- and she left me like I meant nothing to her. I was getting sick of waiting. Sick of being alone. Alone with people who only hated and hurt me."
His embittered glare rested on Fluttershy. "So, I did what any sensible pony in my circumstances would."
Skylar grunted as he continued to trudge uphill. He was breathless, exhausted, sweat matting his mane and coat, the merciless sun beaming down on him. He looked towards it angrily.
'I don't care anymore. It hurts too much to keep going on. I just want to disappear forever.'
He finally made his way to the edge of the cliff, gazing down at the cool, pristine waterfall below, the raging rapids feeding it's alluring sight. He was almost ready. Skylar winced at the feel of the rope snugly tightened around him, encasing his wings, wrapping around his torso. He rested only long enough to regather enough energy to start pushing the boulder tied to the other end. He felt his heart leap once it started to teeter and roll off the edge, carefully making sure to jump as soon as it began it's plummet, immediately dragged down with it's gargantuan weight.
The boulder made a colossal splash, causing the river to rain onto the surrounding shores, pulling Skylar down with it into a watery abyss. In spite of how fast and intense all of it was, he couldn't remember a time he felt more relaxed once the cold wetness enveloped his entire body. He closed his eyes, contented, not even minding the steadily climbing pains and discomforts fueling his entire being as life ebbed away from him.
'I feel so relieved. So liberated. As if some huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders, or a tight knot binding me has come undone. No more liars. No more betrayal. It's all over. Freedom. Tranquility. Release. Now.'
As he sank further and further into the unforgiving dark, Skylar stopped breathing. His heartbeat slowed to a stillness. He was gone.
"Ponies haven't opened their hearts to caring since before you and I were even born. But they will open their hearts to other things. Violence, torture, war, discrimination and hatred. Ghosts long forgotten in Equestria's history that ponies are slowly, obliviously coming back to. Ghosts I will swiftly reacquaint them with. If allowed to progress on their own, people will toil and suffer slowly, endlessly, carving a long, new age of torment that will mark their end. I am merely performing a mercy killing by hastening the arrival, sparing them entire generations of pain. In order for Equestria to breathe, everyone must die."
Fluttershy slowly shook her head in refusal. "That's not true... People aren't like that anymore..."
Skylar leaned in closer towards her. "Oh, really? Have you forgotten how Rainbow Dash nearly shattered your friend Applejack's skull? Or how her grandmother was beaten as a child? It cannot be ignored any longer."
Fluttershy's sobs became more audible. "Please, you can't do this! If you give them a chance, they can do better! We can maintain peace, if everypony could just get along and understand each other!"
Skylar started to walk away, stopping and looking back at her. "I thought you could understand being misunderstood, Fluttershy. But, I guess I was wrong. I was only trying to end your suffering. One way or another, regardless if I do anything or not, you and all of your friends will die someday. Whether sooner or later was your choice. This would all have been so much easier if you just sat there and died."
Fluttershy hung her head. "I know you've been really hurt a lot, in your life, and in your... Afterlife... I've been hurting a lot, too, for almost as long as I remember... Something you should already know if you've been watching me for so long... Please... Isn't there anything we can do to change your mind?..."
"Don't try that. It's too late. It's always been too late, from the very second I first became an inkling in my mother's belly. Nopony even missed me when I was gone; they mocked and scolded me, calling me weak, a coward, for only ending my pain. They even said they were glad I was dead, and celebrated. The real question is..." Skylar's dark form rushed right up to Fluttershy's face.
"What are you doing with my genie?!?"
Fluttershy opened her eyes, finding herself in her bed once again. It was still dark outside, at least a few hours before sunrise. Startled by the sudden change in scenery and consciousness, she turned to see that this time Vesper was merely a few feet away from her bed.
"Is it true?!? Are you really his genie?!?"
Vesper lowered his head somberly, refusing to speak. She wasn't sure if he confirmed or denied it.
"If you're really his genie... I... I-I don't feel safe with you here anymore!!! Get out!!! Please, just get out!!! "
"As you wish..." Vesper murmured remorsefully, and he slowly vanished into thin air.
Fluttershy almost immediately sprung out of her bed in alarm. Her consciousness was a haze. Frantic worries raced this way and that; she had no idea what just happened, what was happening, or what was about to happen. She hurriedly paced around her house, glancing at everything in her field of vision to check and make sure that it was normal, and that this wasn't some twisted dream-within-a-dream. With how incredibly believable her lucid experiences felt lately, she almost couldn't separate her nightmares from reality anymore.
It was mere minutes before she returned to her room, reaching to grab the pouch of sands left on her nightstand, shaking in her hoof as she froze time once more.
'Everything in my life's just gone crazy ever since I got this...'
Fluttershy froze. Her heart sank at a sudden realization, her blood turning to ice, her stomach twisting and coiling. She quickly dove onto the floor, lifting up the hanging covers from the side of her bed, reaching into the darkness underneath to pull out her familiar green backpack. She sprang onto her hooves, sitting on the edge of the bed as she opened the backpack, revealing the Panacea Crystal. This seemed to validate her frightening hypothesis.
'I've had this sitting underneath my bed all this time. My nightmares didn't start until I... Left it there. Is this it? Is this the source of all this madness? Is this what's driving me crazy?'
Fluttershy groaned, a hoof meeting her face in a futile attempt to calm her stress-induced headache.
'For all I know, Skylar could be inside of here, haunting me. I... I need to stop spending so much time close to it. It must be making him stronger. I need to get it out of my house. Ohh, but, where would I put it? I can't leave it just anywhere...'
Fluttershy had decided to take the Panacea Crystal back to the same hill and waterfall she'd become so familiar with as of late. Where she spoke with Rainbow Dash, where Skylar visited her in a nightmare, where she first found the artifact in the first place. However, instead of going to the top as she had before, she remained at ground level. It was only just now that she realized this place was at one end of the Everfree Forest.
Fluttershy resorted to burying the artifact next to the first tree of the Everfree Forest that she could find from there. She used a sharp rock to carve "P.C." into the tree to remind herself of it's location, and decided to draw from outside of it a heart with an arrow going through it to trick potential discoverers into mistaking it for a lovers' message, not wanting anypony else to be endangered by it's possible curses. After all, she would have to come back and get it later.
Even with this out of the way, her fears would not rest.
'What if it was Discord that did all of this to me? My friends, in my nightmare, acted the way they had when he corrupted us. They said things that I thought they felt about me, but never really did. And Pinkie talking about him when Vesper changed reality in Sugarcube Corner... This whole Panacea Crystal mess could just be another one of his tricks. Just him trying to drive me crazy somehow.'
Her suspicions drove her to desperately fly to where she, Twilight and the others had last defeated Discord with the Elements Of Harmony and encased him in stone, only to find that he was still there, stuck in the same terrified state. Fluttershy was in disbelief.
'What if it's Princess Luna? What if spending all that time alone on the Moon drove her crazy, and her magic got stronger? Could that be it?'
Fluttershy quickly took to the skies, climbing as high as she could manage, taking after some tricks that she had learned from Rainbow Dash by watching her or training with her. It was extremely strenuous, being something she wasn't used to doing at all. Once she felt she was high enough, she started to dive bomb towards Canterlot, the furious winds whipping past her wings, wincing and grunting at the aches from such physical exertion. It had still taken a great deal of time, but she was shocked that she was able to go so far so quickly. Still, Fluttershy found upon checking the castle that Luna was merely tending to her royal duties, looking contented.
'No! No!!! I don't understand!!!'
Repeating the same, arduous activity she enacted to get there in the first place, Fluttershy took to the skies, beginning to return to Ponyville from Canterlot. By the time she returned, she was doubly exhausted, hurting almost more than when she was closest to drowning in her nightmares. Her wings hurt so much that she didn't dare move them again. She could never understand how Rainbow Dash was able to perform such harrowing feats on a daily basis; she just wasn't cut out for the same kind of laborious tasks.
Through the panic, Fluttershy tried to decipher more of what had been puzzling her. In her startled nature waking from yet another lifelike nightmare, she hadn't given Vesper a chance to explain himself or even answer at her accusations before sending him off. Maybe he really was innocent, and she was wrong about him? She fell to her forelegs, crying from sheer exasperation.
"Vesper, I'm sorry! I made a mistake! Please come back!" she called out, answered only by her own echo.
"Please come back... I need you here to help me... To protect me..." she sobbed, defeated.
Alas, nothing happened. He was gone.
'What if I'm having another nightmare right now? What if I'm in some kind of coma, and all of this has been one giant, fake dream? What if I've truly gone crazy, and imagining all this is the only way I can deal with things anymore? This isn't right -- I'm questioning my own reality, my own sanity. This isn't good for me at all. I have to finish this before I lose everything I have left.'
She looked down at the sands in the pouch around her neck, holding it in her hoof. She'd frozen time all the while she was panicking since she took it off her nightstand after waking.
'I'm going to finish helping my friends. Then I'm going to go back to when I found the Panacea Crystal in the first place again, and just never go near it. Or I'll destroy it. I don't care if they all forget what happened when this is all done and over -- it's worth it to see all of them completely happy together, just once.'
Fluttershy was back at her house, taking a shower. She would have gone to Rarity's house next, but her hooves were caked with dirt from digging earlier, and she knew the pristine unicorn would have a heart attack if her house became soiled. That, and the intense pain Fluttershy was experiencing -- physical, mental, and emotional -- would distract her from focusing on helping Rarity. She'd found that having the water at just the right warm temperature was helping sooth her, already slowly relieving several aches and pains.
'I'm suffering so much in every way... The only other thing beside my friends' happiness keeping me from killing myself is I'm worried that I'd become that... Thing, or whatever it is that Skylar turned into...'
As her discomforts were alleviated, ebbing away, Fluttershy felt her eyelids getting heavy once more, the urge to give in and sleep overcoming her. Just as her world was starting to fade into darkness, her heart rate spiked, her mind screaming in protest.
'No! I can't! I cAn'T fAlL aSlEeP aGaIn, * Or ElSe He CaN hUrT mE!!!'***
Panicked, Fluttershy frantically turned up the hot water faucet, so much that it was almost scalding, steam rising in the air as the scathing heat cascaded on her fur, shocking her into the state of being completely awake. She exclaimed in alarmed pain, simultaneously turning hot down and cold up, the chilling temperature making her extremely uncomfortable, but still keeping her just as awake.
She hurried to finish, drying herself off after as quickly as possible after, trying to keep her movements extremely active to avoid fatigue taking over. Her wings still felt in horrendously sore shape, but her hooves could tolerate some exertion for now. On her way to Rarity's house, Fluttershy made stops at Sugarcube Corner and Ponyville Urgent Care to pick up sugar-high inducing sweets and caffeine pills, respectively, which she left behind enough money to pay for.
'I can't afford to slumber at all until I can be sure that this is all over...'
Upon consuming the last of her newly acquired supplements, Fluttershy halted before her destination. She had woken Rarity early before helping Pinkie Pie, but this was much earlier than last time -- she figured knocking on the front door and waking her wasn't so good of an idea.
'Rarity was really tired. She'll probably want to stay in her bed for a little while.'
Perplexed as to how to approach the situation, she started trotting in circles around Rarity's house, hoping it would give her some form of inspiration. Moments later, she noticed that the window to Rarity's workshop was left open. Fluttershy remembered Rarity had stayed up past midnight to finish up her new line of clothes for Photo Finish, and figured she didn't close it to allow the cold night air to keep her awake. She'd probably only been sleeping for two or three hours, as well.
Fluttershy winced as she prepared herself to enter, reluctantly looking back at her wings, as if she were afraid she'd find some hideous monster there in place. She absolutely knew that it was going to cause her great pain to do this. The pegasus looked back down at the sealed pouch around her neck, and placed it in her mouth with the closed opening facing away, biting down on it in bracing for the inevitable hurt. She hissed softly and squinted her eyes shut for a moment, preparing her hind legs to jump into the air.
'I'd normally never do this...'
As she feared, the painful jolts shot through her the moment she moved her wings. She released a muffled cry as she forced them to cooperate with her in flying through the open window. Each beat surged with another sharp sting. Once she was finally in the room, Fluttershy struggled to avert Rarity's tools and mannequins in mid-fall, clasping her wings back against her coat as she roughly skidded across the floor, her snout smacking straight into the wall. She rolled onto her back, clutching her snout, sore as her scraped stomach and sprained wings, causing her to exclaim and yell against the pouch in her mouth.
Fluttershy waited a few moments for the ache to subside, then got to her hooves, finding herself sniffling with a burning sensation in her nose. A drop of crimson fell towards the floor, and Fluttershy quickly caught it in her hoof -- she was having a nosebleed. Not wanting to dirty Rarity's floor, Fluttershy rushed to the bathroom, rinsing off her hoof and face, and plugged her snout with tissues. She cleaned up the rest of herself the best that she could, and approached Rarity's room, peering into the doorway to see her frozen in sleep. The unicorn looked beyond exhausted; her normally stylized mane and makeup-layered face instead had tangled, clumpy hair and baggy eyelids.
'Poor Rarity... She always works so hard...'
She gingerly stepped in, instinctively trying to be quiet, even though Rarity couldn't hear a thing due to being frozen in time. Fluttershy neared closer and closer to her bed, choosing to sit down in a nearby chair, thinking of how to approach the situation. She noticed a clock on Rarity's wall reading that it was currently three o'clock in the morning. The pegasus gingerly touched the sand pouch, focusing until it read five o'clock, just before sunrise. Glancing at the still-immobilized Rarity, she noticed her trapped in a state of slight consciousness, but still too weak or tired to completely get up. It was here that Fluttershy chose to return to the normal time flow, seeing Rarity shift slightly underneath her covers.
"Um... Rarity?... It's me, Fluttershy..." she whispered softly, hoping not to startle her.
Rarity grumbled a few times obliviously, craning her neck on her pillow. The noise was so gentle that she must have mistaken Fluttershy for her cat, Opalescence. She muttered unintelligibly, trying to peer through her murky, dreary eyelids. The unicorn murmured Fluttershy's name, who couldn't tell if she was just awake enough to recognize her friend, or somehow believed she was dreaming about her. She attempted to smile reassuringly.
"It's okay, Rarity. It's just me, Fluttershy. I can stop time for both of us, so, you can sleep for as long as you like until you take those dresses to Photo Finish. You deserve it. I know you've been working real hard and staying up late. I'll be here for you, alright?"
At this, Rarity's eyelids flickered a few times, and it was soon apparent that she was asleep again, rolling on her side away from Fluttershy and faintly snoring. Fluttershy released a quiet sigh of relief, grateful that the encounter hadn't gone in any worse way. She froze time once more and went downstairs into the kitchen, remembering how Rarity had greatly appreciated what Fluttershy made her during her last visit; green tea with a dash of vanilla chai and chamomile. When she cautiously sprinkled dissipating time sands onto Rarity's kettle, she felt idiotic for not noticing before that the sands would replenish in the pouch after use, so she wouldn't have to worry about running out.
After preparing the beverage and waiting until it was warm enough to drink comfortably, Fluttershy idly wondered if it would stay at that temperature long enough to last when Rarity awoke, prompting her to use the sands once more just in case. She returned to Rarity's room and started to fast forward through time to the point of sunrise. Fluttershy would have waited to stop it until Rarity awoke, but remembered how distressed her friend was when she was nearly late for her tasks. She would reluctantly have to find a way to get her up earlier without startling her too badly. Her first idea was to leave and knock on the front door like she had last time, but she had accidentally unfroze time, causing her to keep still in hopes of quietly resuming before Rarity could stir.
It was too late, though. In spite of the almost complete silence, the still-fresh tea's aroma wafted it's way into Rarity's nostrils, causing her to smile and inhale as she regained consciousness, stretching and yawning.
"Opalescence, you finally learned to cook! That smells delightful --" upon opening her eyes and noticing Fluttershy, Rarity was startled into exclaiming, briefly jerking and flailing in her bed. The motion caused the bed cover to whip up off of the other side, smacking underneath the cup and spilling the tea Fluttershy made all over the clothes inside of a nearby open closet as the cup fell and broke on the floor.
Rarity gasped. "Oh, NO!!!" she quickly scurried out of bed, falling prone onto the floor and hastily crawling to the newfound mess. "I've worked so hard for so long on all of these!!!" she started to sob, soon burying her face in her hooves as she quivered.
Fluttershy felt embarrassed and guilty. She slowly approached her, gently resting a hoof on her shoulder as she rewound time to the point where Rarity had just woken up. Rarity was visibly bewildered in great proportions.
"What just happened? I... You... Clothes... Tea..."
Fluttershy winced. "It's... Really complicated, Rarity. But, right now, just, I can control time, and it's stopped, so, we can talk or whatever you want for as long as you like."
Rarity nodded, still trembling slightly in sheer shock. "... What?"
As Rarity finished getting out of bed, drinking her tea, Fluttershy explained to her how she acquired the time sands and how they worked, continuing as they walked downstairs. She'd left out the parts of the Panacea Crystal that they were held in, and their early dispute over it, although this made her feel guilty. Her friend seemed to take all of this in easier than the others; she chalked this up to Rarity being a unicorn and used to dealing with magic, or at least having some form of awareness of what should and shouldn't be magically possible.
"I'm actually really thankful all of this happened. I'm excited to finally be business partners with Photo Finish and everything, but I didn't even want to get out of bed today. Between finishing this new lineup and the local going-ons, I've been run ragged."
"I don't blame you, Rarity. I think sometimes people don't realize how much all of this means to you, or how hard it is to do this kind of work. That's why I wanted to come talk to you. All of this overwork has been wearing you down. That can't be good for you."
"You're such a dear, Fluttershy. Always looking out for us. But I think you might want to refrain from overworking as well. How did you get that bloody nose again? Too much stress?"
"I ran into a tree..." she murmured timidly. 'Although that other reason wouldn't surprise me...'
Rarity winced. "Well, Rainbow Dash you aren't, but there's nothing wrong with that. Just try to be more careful next time, okay?"
"I-I always do..."
As they seemingly blindly paced through the house, the ponies stumbled upon the lavishly decorated giant cake Pinkie had made for Rarity months ago. She had been preserving it in a tall dome. It was so humongous and intricate that it looked more fit for a royal wedding than a friend's gift; clad in pearly white with frosting ranging from numerous hues of delicate pink and rich violet, strewn in marvelous designs. Rarity paused, quietly releasing a small, heartfelt whimper, her expression glazed with nostalgia over Pinkie's act of kindness. Fluttershy knew her friend had loved the cake, but didn't expect such a strong and gripping reaction on just happening to see it.
"Is everything okay, Rarity?"
"I just... I just love this so much. It was so nice of Pinkie to make this for me, and those other pastries for all of you, and... This one was bigger than all of them, even more than Applejack's full course meal, when I should have gotten the smallest one..."
"What do you mean by that?"
"It's... It's nothing. Just forget about it, please."
Out of the corner of her eye, Fluttershy noticed an unusually large mannequin adorned with an unfinished garment standing alone in the next room. "What's that over there?"
Rarity held back a quiet sniffle as she turned her attention to it. "Oh, this?" They began to walk towards the heavily labored work in progress. "This... Is my masterpiece. Or, at least, it will be, once it's finally done."
The dress took on a varied plethora of shades one could find in the night sky, from the clearest solid blue to unflinchingly dark black. Even in it's unfinished state, Fluttershy was amazed at it's quality, surprised that it wasn't something commissioned by Princess Celestia herself. It was befitting to royalty, with the elegant, streaming design beaming in radiance. Just from examining it, she could tell Rarity had carefully spent a great deal of time making it, at least several months, maybe even a few years.
"It's a gift of mine, to Princess Luna. I haven't told anypony about it. I began the project when she finally appeared in Ponyville post-Nightmare Moon, that one Nightmare Night a few years ago. I saw how hard she was trying to make up for everything that happened, and reconnect with her people, and it just... Broke my heart. Everypony was still scared of her, even when it was plain to see that she didn't mean to cause any harm. Here she is, with her high, royal, powerful status, and a... Venomous reputation... And all of a sudden everypony forgets that she has feelings, just like the rest of us. I thought I could sympathize with her, because I've hurt like that before..."
"Hurt like how?"
At this, Rarity grew silent. She slowly turned her head towards a nearby mirror, and scowled. It was as if she wasn't looking at her messy, morning mane and naked, tired face, but further past that, into her very own soul.
"Am I a liar, Fluttershy?"
"What?"
"I feel so... Fake, all the time... If I'm really the Element Of Generosity, then I can't understand all the different things that I do. Like the circles I spend my time in. Not as in you and our friends, but, the kind of ponies who have generosity as the last thing on their mind. Who pride in pearls over personalities, diamonds over dreams, and appearances over kindness. Predators pretending to be civilized, who hunt with guile and psychology instead of stones and spears."
Rarity closed her eyes. "I know that there's plenty of ponies in high society and the fashion industry who are very nice, good people. I would hope to be among them. But sometimes, I think I spend too much time around the less virtuous ones who happen to have all the money or know 'all the right people', to the point that I worry I'm becoming more like them. I mean, really, fashion? What in Celestia's name is that? Are we really so depleted of individuality that we need somepony else to tell us what we should and shouldn't find beautiful?"
She turned to look back at Fluttershy, stricken with silence once more. She was clearly distressed. After opening her mouth to speak, struggling to get more words to form a few more times, the unicorn uttered a flustered, defeated groan, clearly agitated with herself.
"I'm sorry. These are things I normally think about all to myself. I feel like I should really talk about it, but I just don't think I'm quite ready yet."
Fluttershy nodded softly. "There, there... I think I know something that might help make this easier. How would you like to your favorite spa with me? You know, the one we used to go to every week?"
After a long, soundless moment, she was finally answered. "... I guess it wouldn't hurt to return there for old time's sake, anyways..."
As soon as the two friends stepped outside, Rarity was immediately uncomfortable. Under no other circumstances would she set foot outdoors without makeup, or at least doing her hair. She was still getting used to the idea that nopony would be able to see her, since they were frozen in time. The pegasus did her best to coax her, trying to take her mind off of it by bringing up other topics while they trekked to the spa.
"I think Princess Luna's really going to like that dress you're making for her. It looks fantastic already, and I'm positive it'll be even better when it's done."
"Thank you. No, one of the only reasons it isn't finished yet is I haven't been able to... Put just the right touch on it. Do you remember how Luna used to be upset that nopony was awake to appreciate her beautiful night skies? Well... I would stay up often to admire them. After spending so much of the day working so hard, I'd want to take time to treat myself before just going to sleep, although I'd still make sure I had enough left over to get enough beauty rest. I've been wanting to find some diamonds, gems or crystals that would give it just the right edge in thanking her for all those times I'd just stargaze, lost in the endless mystical bliss of dusk. Something dark, yet rich and distinct, with something that would evoke the graceful glitter of the stars, and not just in the way they'd naturally shine -- the decoration itself, I mean."
Fluttershy's heart sank.
'So, that's why Rarity wanted the Panacea Crystal so badly... I'm so sorry, Rarity... I would give it to you if I could, but... I'm starting to think it's too dangerous for anypony to have...'
"I think... Eventually you'll find something that can do that."
"I'm really hoping so. I've actually heard of legends describing some kind of crystal that has that appearance, but I've had no success in trying to find it, or even find anypony that knows about it. Still, I'll get around to that when I find the time. I wanted to get it done by the celebration in a few weeks. The anniversary of Nightmare Moon's defeat. I'm worried that it bothers Luna. Every time I ask her, she says she's glad that we used the Elements Of Harmony to stop her from doing something she'd regret, but I can always notice traces of guilt and shame in the way she says it. I was hoping my present would help curb her discomfort."
"That's very considerate, Rarity. With that in mind, I'm sure she'll be very appreciative."
As the spa came within their view, coldness swept over Fluttershy, reminding her of dilemmas past. Both this location and Rarity's newfound success with Photo Finish evoked a time when the two friends were nearly torn apart by a big misunderstanding.
"You know, I'm really glad for you. About working with Photo Finish, I mean. I know you idolize her, and wanted to do it for a long time. I still feel kind of bad about the time she made me her model instead of showcasing your dresses..."
"Oh, it's fine, dear. I've long gotten over that. Besides, if I knew then what I know now, I wouldn't have worried my pretty little head over it. I love her creativity and vision and all that, it's an exciting place to be in, but, she's not so easy to work with. Or, for that matter, as pleasant to work with as I would've hoped. Photo Finish is one of the premiere fashion photographers in Equestria, true, but she's pretty bossy, and closed-minded. And even if she wasn't, I wanted something at the time that I've realized I don't want after all."
"What do you mean?"
"Being popular. It used to be almost all I cared about. Getting recognized, and letting all of Equestria see what I could do. But now I only want it so I have the opportunity to reach out to more ponies, although it does feel nice to have my work appreciated, let alone on such a grand scale. Don't you remember when Twilight sabotaged your fashion show, and it was the first one of yours I saw? Her magic manipulated you into so much embarrassment that the whole crowd was booing, and I felt so bad that I applauded for you so they would stop."
Fluttershy shuddered. "Yes... All that unwanted attention... It was awful..."
"The worst part about it is they only changed their mind about you because I did something. They liked what I wore, for it was considered in style. Instead of thinking and deciding for themselves, they just look after whoever's popular and agree with everything they do. The same thing happened with Twilight's birthday in Canterlot two or three years ago. Everypony was making fun of her dress, until Fancy Pants complimented it, and all of a sudden they all wanted one. It's so pathetic. I used to want to be popular so that I could prove to everypony what I was capable of. Now, I only like it for the chance it gives me to prove I'm not superficial, judgmental, or intolerant. But, with the way that I've been acting, I think it's too late..."
"I don't think you're any of those bad things. You're the most generous pony I know."
"Thank you, Fluttershy. I always try my best to be generous, but, I think sometimes I could do better. The generous thing to do would be to accept what somepony wants to look like if it's what they truly enjoy, where the world of fashion dictates that appearances must be analyzed, criticized, reworked. And being surrounded by work peers who are more entrenched in the latter, I'm often socially pressured and coerced into giving harsher reviews when I'd rather respect one's personalized appearance. Like the time I made dresses for all of you for the Grand Galloping Gala, and the fashion show in Ponyville for Hoity Toity. He and I may not have liked the first revisions, but you and the others absolutely loved them, and that's what mattered."
"Oh, but Rarity, we didn't realize at the time we were taking your generosity for granted. You worked so hard to make those dresses look nice. It was what you liked -- you created it, and any artist should be able to create their work however they like."
"I realize that. I'm not saying that those things that happened were okay. I just mean that I don't think it was fair that your favorite looks were publicly ridiculed. You should be allowed to love it just because you do. And like I said, just because I don't like something doesn't mean that you can't."
The two ponies finally entered the spa, suddenly realizing that they wouldn't be able to get the usual treatment, seeing as how everypony else around who worked there was frozen in time. Remembering how the sands could help operate inanimate objects, Fluttershy took Rarity to a room with some of the spa's latest installments. They were hydro-powered vibromassage capsules, which resembled larger, sleeker variations of the medicinal Iron Lung, except ponies were supposed to lay prone in it as opposed to face up. Rarity had actually always wanted to try them out, although she hadn't gotten the chance to do so until now.
At first, Fluttershy was reluctant to enter, fearing that her still-sore wings and body wouldn't be ready for the automated treatment. She offered to talk to Rarity while she was in the capsule by herself, who insisted that she tag along as thanks for the opportunity to unwind. The pegasus conceded. Their conversation was initially unhindered during the procedure's beginning, thanks to the capsule encasing everything save for their heads. Soon, however, Rarity was forced to use her magic to quell interruptions in the form of muting the capsule's loud, cacophonous whirring, as well as keeping their voices from shaking (much in spite of their humorous amusement) to preserve the focus on the serious nature of their conversation.
The work of the machines proved to be conducive to coaxing both friends. Rarity was looking much more relaxed, the further willingness to talk significantly showing in the change of her voice's tone, while Fluttershy learned that the process was much gentler and more alleviating to her tired vessel than she originally feared.
"I think a lot of it stems from the preconceived notions towards the meaning of one's income, and where they originate. The ponies in Canterlot I've met disdainfully described working class natives of Ponyville like you and I as 'country ruffians', believing that we make less money because we're lazy or unskilled, as if we deserve it somehow. I think the rumor that such ponies are naturally unpleasant comes from the inherent struggles in having to try harder due to differing economical states and one's unique life circumstances. That would make anypony a little rough around the edges. It's so unfair that others who are different can't see that they just don't have much bits left over to spare after feeding their families.
"And yet, on the other hoof, some of the other ponies in this town have viewed the aristocrats in Canterlot as spoiled, greedy tycoons who swindle their employees out of their well earned money and have life handed to them on a silver platter. They can't believe that they can have any worries or problems with a higher salary. It's like being wealthier somehow prevents you from being allowed to express honest suffering. A lot of these ponies are confused by their lifestyle into mistaking financial success for personal success, and their material possessions are outweighed by the void in their personal development and relationships."
Rarity closed her eyes and hung her head. "I just wish everypony could see past those features. It doesn't determine one's worth as a person. Not at all. Suffering hits everypony, regardless of their social status or financial class. It seems like we're drawn to find anything we can use to judge or segregate one another, like we're afraid of understanding and respecting somepony we don't agree with or relate to. Everypony has value, and something to contribute to the world, but sometimes it's just hard to see with so many fabricated dividers in the way."
The unicorn sighed, looking upward. "I remember when nopony knew Zecora yet, and all of Ponyville thought she was a witch just because she was a zebra. It was almost like that Nightmare Night when Luna returned. If somepony accuses you of doing or being something that you're not, or judges you for being born as something different than them, then plenty of people will swiftly come to your defense, because it's obviously wrong. But if somepony labels you as ugly, then you bear that alone. Nopony else will admit it, but they'd silently agree with whoever said it. It's because of this toxic business that labels what's supposed to be attractive and unattractive. A business with so much crushing influence and saturated contributors that it claims me with it, and makes me do and say things that I don't truly mean. Even when I'm by myself, and with ponies I care about, like Applejack, and even my own sister, Sweetie Belle.
"It's a product of a culture that uses nobility not as a description of character, but a title that is bought and inherited. A culture packed to the brim with ponies like Prince Blueblood, who've been warped into trading genuineness for superficiality, attending charitable causes more for the public relations image it bolsters for them rather than really wanting to make the world a better place. I'd like to prove that working in a field pertaining to the appreciation of appealing sights doesn't mean having to sacrifice virtuous qualities, but it seems all my legitimate attempts at sharing this sentiment are drowned out by the more poisonous, 'mainstream' messages. So, I pretend to agree with these 'noble' judges of fashion in their presence, while keeping secret my personal opinions, and my proudness towards the 'ugly' ponies who are courageous enough to express themselves honestly through their appearance. It's because I care about them and their right to freely dress more than false images or business statuses, even though caring doesn't net in much money or privileges."
Rarity became morose, her face and voice filled with lament. "This lifestyle has convinced everypony that beauty is only in what you experience visually. But this couldn't be further from the truth. Beauty is in everything, not just what you see, but also what you hear, smell, taste, feel, think, and believe. Most of all, it's in the intangible, the internal, a pony's personal characteristics. You can't put beauty in a pony with a dress, or makeup, those are just pretty. When something's pretty, it only stays that way until it's ruined. But beauty remains. Somepony can be beautiful even if they're short, or overweight, or what have you, just by having beauty's true terms; goodness, kindness, chivalry. Whenever I would design somepony's clothes, or give them a makeover, I wouldn't make them more beautiful at all. All I did was help the rest of the world see them better."
Fluttershy had listened intently the entire time, allowing Rarity to say whatever she needed to. Soon, they exited the vibromassage capsules, stretching and shaking off whatever tingly, lingering sensations that remained to keep them from readjusting to regularity. Even though the experience was highly refreshing, Rarity was still visibly saddened.
"I would like to think that I make up for whatever insults I might have thrown in their way through my generosity. I'd go out of my way to get favors done for them. Anonymously, of course. I don't think they would ever accept any kind of gift if they knew it was from me, after everything I did and said right in their face. I can only wonder if it ever really made any difference. But, wondering isn't the same as knowing."
Fluttershy shared her melancholy. 'I wish Rarity could just feel better...'
All of a sudden, a familiar sensation swept through the pegasus. She noticed faint traces of a dark purple smoke starting to seep into the room.
"Vesper?!?" she exclaimed, unsure whether to be relieved or afraid.
Indeed, the genie had returned. Rarity, having never seen him before, immediately reacted with shock and fright, backing up against Fluttershy.
Something was strange about him this time. He had that same air of guilt and regret that he'd been carrying the past few days, but it seemed heavier, stronger than before.
'Is he just sorry, or is he doing something for Skylar?'
"Please, don't be afraid, Rarity. I'm Fluttershy's friend. I just want to help you." At this, he gazed back at Fluttershy, who was somehow able to pick up on Vesper's sincerity, probably through the 'emotional bleeding' sensations. She nodded at Rarity, who started to ease back into acceptance, though still somewhat nervous.
The genie slowly lowered closer to the ground, floating towards the ponies. "Rarity... You worry that your attempts at redeeming your professional vices are for naught. I'm here to assure you that this isn't so. Please, allow me to show you..."
Warmth tingled in each of Fluttershy's nerves, and her senses were slightly altered. It was just like when he had shifted her perception of reality in Sugarcube Corner. An enlarged moving picture unfolded from thin air before them all, and Rarity instantly recognized it. It was cycling through her various customers, both regular and seldom.
And she saw how her generosity indeed paid off. With the money saved from buying Rarity's affordable, yet high quality designs, entire families had enough to spare to keep themselves healthy. Ponies who had been saving up to fulfill longtime dreams were able to do so before it was too late. Her kindness and good will had left glowing impacts on them for the rest of the day after encountering her; legitimate compliments and spontaneous favors lingered in their minds, forming sweet memories of the radiant unicorn who had given them unconditional, indiscriminate kindness. They would talk amongst one another, recommending her business to their friends, thanking her daily for what her work had done for them.
Lastly, but most of all, the visions ended with a look inside the Cutie Mark Crusader clubhouse. The three fillies who had been friends since first meeting -- Apple Bloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle -- were all huddled around a board game, excitedly sharing their speculations with one another.
"That'd be really awesome, Scootaloo!" Apple Bloom exclaimed.
The young pegasus grinned, and looked at their mutual friend. "What about you, Sweetie Belle? What do you want your cutie mark to be?"
Sweetie Belle didn't hesitate to answer at all. "I want it to be Rarity!"
Scootaloo laughed. "What? You want it to be Rarity? But why?"
"A lot of people don't completely understand my sister. And because of this, they don't always treat her right. Even I do it sometimes, and she does it to me, but we never mean to, and we always find a way to make it right after. Everypony else thinks she's all about dresses and fashion, but really, she's the sweetest mare I've ever heard of! She does her best to help everypony, even if they don't like her -- even if she doesn't like them! -- but she always gives them a fair chance, and does everything she can to make Ponyville a better place to live in. I really like her a lot for that, and I'd like to be that way, too! I want to be just like her!"
At this revelation, Rarity whimpered, covering her mouth as she tried to hold back tears.
Vesper looked at her. "Some of the nicest gifts and compliments you receive are ones that you're never around to witness. Where you have done much covert good for everyone you know in an attempt to assuage your guilt, everyone else likes you and appreciates what you do much more than you thought they do."
Rarity was still choking with emotion. Moments later, she stopped trying to control her crying, and hugged Fluttershy tightly and closely to her. Fluttershy was taken aback but embraced her friend in kind, gently trying to comfort her. To her surprise, she noticed that Vesper was gone.
After taking Rarity back home, Fluttershy had gone back out to search everywhere she could for Vesper, but to no avail. After finding each place that came to mind only to meet no results, she reluctantly headed back to the same waterfall that she had found the Panacea Crystal in the first place.
"Vesper?" she called out, hearing her voice echo through the silent woods.
Fluttershy remained there for what felt like an eternity, waiting for an answer.
As soon as she turned back to start returning to Ponyville, she heard Vesper's voice from inside her head once more, full of panic and concern.
'I can't protect you anymore. Leave the crystal. Forget all of this. It will save your life. I have to go now or he will see me.'
"Vesper?!?"
Again, she remained unanswered.
Fluttershy sighed, looking at the pouch of sands in her hoof. Twilight Sparkle was the last one left to help. But she was also the only one among them who could maybe help her, as well. In her panic, she hadn't thought to visit Celestia in Canterlot -- it would be too late for that now.
She suddenly remembered how quickly Skylar had pulled away from her in her last nightmare. How he had said many things, and yet only told her so little. In spite of touching him with the 'emotional bleed' effect, she'd gotten only enough information to figure out that it was him. Was there more he was hiding? Could she find out somehow? But most importantly, could he be helped, and return to his old self, like Nightmare Moon went back to Luna?
There was no time to ponder these things. With this realization, Fluttershy galloped off to Twilight's house.
"You're perfectly flawed,
You're perfectly incomplete,
Like cracks in the glass,
And faded photographs,
You're perfectly flawed,
You're perfectly incomplete,
A work in progress,
Imperfections make you unique"
Otep's "Perfectly Flawed"
With every frantic hoofstep propelling her further, Fluttershy's lungs burned. Her legs were sore, and her throat was dry. The determined pegasus was racing to Twilight Sparkle's house like there was no tomorrow; for all she knew, there might not be a tomorrow, for herself, at least. She wouldn't entirely mind this, if it weren't for the fact that her last of her closest friends had not yet achieved peace of mind.
When she finally arrived, Fluttershy was a sweating, aching mess. Catching a glimpse of her reflection in one of Twilight's windows, she realized there was no way Twilight could see her like this and not know something was up. What was she going to say? On top of that, she didn't know how to explain the sands, or the Panacea Crystal -- knowing Twilight, she might get upset that Fluttershy didn't bring them to her as soon as she found them.
'I suppose that would have been the better thing to do, but it just didn't occur to me right then... I'm so stupid...'
Somehow, she knew she'd inevitably have to explain the situation sooner or later, a realization that she dreaded. It was understandable that Twilight would find the magical mess a higher priority than her own emotional ordeals, but it would be better approached with a calmer, clearer mindset. Hatching an idea, Fluttershy gently rested one hoof against the front door, and her other hoof onto her pouch of sands.
'I really hope this works...'
After a moment of hard concentration, she opened her eyes to the sound of Twilight obliviously shuffling about in her home. The pegasus surveyed the horizon outside, to witness that everything and everypony in sight were frozen stiff. Just as she intended, Twilight's house and everything in it remained in motion, while the world outside was stopped in time. Fluttershy sighed in relief, strangely feeling slightly accomplished as she knocked on Twilight's door.
Almost immediately, the 'emotional bleed' effect seized her once again. Twilight's morning had been full of dread, irritation, worry, and exhaustion. All of these feelings were seeping into Fluttershy, startling her. To her fearful expectation, coming here this early, while the unicorn was still unprepared for visitors, had only heightened these feelings. Fluttershy could barely hear Twilight grumble under her breath as she started to open the door, although she was greeted with a warm, possibly relieved smile.
"Good morning, Fluttershy! I hadn't expected anypony to come by this early, I was just getting ready for the day. Did you need something?"
"Well, if it's okay, I was wanting to know if I could spend some time with you. I know you're always very busy, which is why I wanted to come by this early, so we could be together before you had to do anything. I mean, if that's okay with you, I guess. I can come back later if you want."
Twilight blinked a few times, raising a hoof to rub her still-waking eyelids. "I think it should be alright. I need to slow down a little before I get started any ways." Once her vision cleared, she perked up in alarm. "Fluttershy, are you alright? You look like you've just gone through the Running Of The Leaves!"
The pegasus blushed, feeling self-conscious. She'd only just now remembered that the pouch of sands was also still in plain view. She intended to hide it under her wing a moment ago, but suddenly realized it would look suspicious if Twilight noticed it later. Nervously, Fluttershy hurried to create an explanation.
"W-well, I woke up a little too late to feed my animals, and, um, I noticed that I'd ran out of bird seed, so I hurried to the store to get some more, and that's what I have with me right now... I mean, I already fed them and everything, but, just, um, I-I needed to make sure they had what they needed for lunch and dinner." She finished this with an uncomfortable, nervous smile.
Twilight raised a concerned eyebrow. It was hard to tell if she was entirely convinced or not. "... Well... Alright, then... Come on inside and relax. You look like you're burning up in that morning sun." She gingerly escorted her friend inside.
Fluttershy soon found that the library was almost as quiet as the completely immobile outdoors. Spike was faintly audible, snoring off in the distance. There was a long piece of parchment on a stand before the towering bookshelves, a list of all the new books Twilight was waiting for. Fluttershy was tempted to comment on it, but remembered that she technically wasn't supposed to know about it just yet.
'This whole time travel thing is the most confusing situation I've ever been in. I've been living out the same morning for several days in a row!'
"So, what were you doing today, Twilight? I don't want to keep you too long from anything important."
"I'm expecting a shipment of a bunch of new books from Canterlot. They're probably not going to come for at least a few more hours, though. I think this is the largest order I've ever gotten. Ponyville's library is going to finally stack up against some of the bigger cities, like Manehattan, even Canterlot itself. All week, I've had to get new bookshelves and rearrange the old ones to make room for the new ones. It's been very exhausting. Then, when the books actually get here, I'll not only have to put them in, but move around the old ones. I know it's going to be really hard work, but I'm hoping they arrive really soon, so at least I can get it over and done with before it gets too dark outside."
Fluttershy nodded. "That sounds really tough! I can see why you'd be really tired after working that hard all week, and then doing this today."
Twilight released a frustrated sigh. "It'd be a lot easier if Spike were up already. I told him he should've gone to bed while I was still getting everything taken care of, but he refused and insisted on staying up to help me, so now he's sleeping in. He may not be a baby dragon anymore, but he's still young enough to need an early bed time at night." There was a mixture of both irritation and appreciation in her voice.
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. I know he always tries really hard to help you. Maybe sometimes a little too hard."
"I'm glad for everything that Spike does for me. He makes mistakes sometimes, just like everypony else. But... I guess... I don't know, I think I'm just upset that this is going on right now. I told him how important it was to me that we get this done today. He thought he could do that and stay up last night, and pushed himself past his limits."
With a once-over at the intimidating, large bookshelves, her pegasus friend got an idea.
"Well, if you'd like, I can help you. I'll be quiet so we don't wake Spike up, but, um, you already know I'm quiet any ways, so that will already be okay and everything... Wh-what I mean is, maybe we can save you some time by making way for the new books. I know it won't look as orderly as it is now, which is how you like it, but, that way the space available will be there and you can just put the books right in place when they get here, and it won't be as difficult."
The unicorn beamed at this suggestion. "That's a really great idea! Why didn't I think of that earlier?" She groaned before adding, "This whole Canterlot book business has wound me up so much that I'm losing my edge! I'm forgetting things and missing the obvious!"
"It's okay. You've been undergoing a lot lately. Nopony's perfect."
Twilight blushed. "I-I know, just, I would've expected myself to think of that already."
She promptly started to use her magic, levitating the book list into the air, soon doing the same for an extra piece of blank parchment that was exactly the same length. The spell pressed them together, then separated them, perfectly imprinting the exact same list on the other parchment. In the short, fulfilling years Fluttershy knew her, Twilight's already impressive magic had improved considerably, even though there was still much left for her to master. The second list then hovered in front of Fluttershy, following her every move and staying to the side for reference.
"You start from the left side of the room, with the top of the list, and I'll start from the right side with the bottom of the list. Then we'll meet in the middle when we get done."
Fluttershy nodded in confirmation, and headed towards one of the handily available ladders, carefully leaning it against the first bookshelf on the left side of the room. She was initially scared of going up so high to try to do such delicate, slow work, but took a few deep breaths to calm herself down, remembering she'd have her wings to fall back on. At this thought, Fluttershy's hoof met her forehead.
'Did I really just forget for a moment that I have wings? If Twilight saw that, she'd probably laugh her tail off. At least she's not the only one missing a little bit of clarity.'
The pegasus abandoned the ladder, instead relying completely on her feathered appendages to do the work. Even with the conveniently expedient advantages that her flight brought to this task, she found that making room for all of the new books was taking painstaking amounts of patience and concentration.
'It's a good thing Twilight is used to this sort of thing. I've only just started and I already have a headache. I couldn't handle stuff like this on a daily basis.'
On top of making sure that she was moving the correct books, Fluttershy treated them with gentleness, remembering how much personal value they all held to her friend. It felt as if time blurred, minutes melting into hours, an eternity of surveying the titles as both allies tended to them without speaking a word. Fluttershy still wasn't sure how to begin addressing her concerns with Twilight, mulling over how she'd finally deliver the necessary message about the Panacea Crystal. She became lost in a sea of thoughts, reflecting on their long friendship.
It hadn't dawned on her until now just how much her and Twilight had in common. They mostly tried to solve other people's problems and help them. That was what this whole foray with the sands was all about in the first place. When they both moved to Ponyville for the first time, they were initially quiet, shy, and anti-social. Lonely outcasts who never wanted to bother anypony, wrapped up in worlds that nopony else could seem to understand; Twilight with her books, and Fluttershy with her animals.
Even when they first met, they were reluctantly awkward in trying to introduce themselves, doing their best to be polite to one another, yet still uncomfortable. The unicorn getting acquainted with Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Rarity wasn't the first just for her at the time, but for Fluttershy as well. Sure, at the time she encountered them in passing whenever she left her cottage into the heart of Ponyville, but only to exchange greetings or occasionally make small talk. If it weren't for Twilight, would all of them ever have gotten as close as they did? Would it have even made any difference?
As they continued organizing the vacant spaces for the arriving books, Fluttershy noticed a peculiar sensation sweeping over her. Looking at every newfound gap in an otherwise orderly-looking group of bookshelves, it strangely reminded her of the cavities she felt in her own quality of life. The friendship between Twilight, herself, and the others had mostly been strong, but suffered occasional dips into bad times, like the way it had recently. She had food, shelter, and everything she needed to physically survive, but lacked mental and emotional comfort. It was only just then that Fluttershy realized these thoughts and emotions were slowly growing. She wasn't experiencing these all by herself; Twilight was sharing the same sentiments, doubling their intensity through the 'emotional bleeding' sensation.
She wanted to speak, to talk with Twilight about all these things, but found herself unable to, struggling with the frustrating difficulty of expressing herself. She remembered how both of them were often quiet and reclusive about their concerns, afraid to fully reveal their feelings in fear of being misunderstood or criticized. Upon realizing this, yet another set of emotional waves seeped into Fluttershy's awareness. These weren't just additional, different emotions, but a different person's emotions entirely, causing her to quickly realize that they came from the sleeping dragon, Spike.
The young boy had been worried about Twilight's recent relapse into an anxious overabundance of stress. As ever, he exhausted all of his efforts in assisting Twilight to the best of his ability, wanting to help as much as possible to reduce his unicorn caretaker's workload. With yesterday's tasks, Spike wanted to make sure he contributed his maximum potential for the day. He was just as scared of falling short on his assigned duties as he was of oversleeping for today, remembering how embarrassed and ashamed he'd feel if this was the case.
Bearing witness to the lingering emotions of both friends had made Fluttershy wonder if perhaps she could share them with each other, having never used the 'bleed' effect for anything more than picking up these things.
'Maybe that will help open up Twilight more to talking...'
She squinted her eyes, beginning to concentrate with all of her effort, but nothing seemed to be happening. Uttering a frustrated groan under her breath, she continued to try over and over again, but again, to no avail.
'I just want this to happen...'
Straining her efforts, Fluttershy finally achieved her goal, feeling Spike's desires for the mare's wellbeing start to share itself with the unicorn's awareness. Curiously, the pegasus glanced back and forth between the bookshelves, her list, and Twilight herself, watching to see how quickly she would realize what she was now experiencing. Twilight initially appeared to remain dutifully focused on her task of organization, but seemed somewhat distracted by some kind of hidden thought.
Finally, she relented. "I know that I definitely appreciate Spike. More than I can describe. But, sometimes I worry that I don't show that to him often enough, or not in the right ways. He's always been very intelligent and considerate for his age, even when he was a baby dragon. I remember that he even ran away once, and you were right, it was because he thought Owloysius replaced him. But I think it might also have been because I ignored his advice. He's always prodding me to be more social, and whenever I get deep into studying he's there at my side, reminding me there's a world outside. I thought at first that he just couldn't understand me, because he's a lot younger, and we have so many differences."
Twilight gently quivered, then sighed. "And then I realized he's been around me for longer than anyone. Even you and our friends. Even Princess Celestia. So, he was always around to see how... Things would really bother me, and what it did to me. Spike, whether or not he took my worries seriously, always paid attention to my concern. Sometimes, so much that he'd tell Princess Celestia without me knowing. I might have gotten upset at that, but, it still meant a lot knowing he cares that much about me. I remember when he hatched, and I accidentally turned him into a giant, everypony in Canterlot was very scared of him. They thought that he was like the kind of adult dragon that lives in a cave and hoards crystals in their greed. But I was able to show them that he was completely different. That he was friendly, and didn't want to hurt anypony. And he's been deeply thankful ever since."
She lowered her head, glancing at Fluttershy a few times, trying to remain focused on the bookshelves. "Lately he keeps trying to reassure me about Princess Celestia. I know that she cares about me, and that she doesn't think that I'm not good enough for her to accept. And I know that even if I get anxious and think otherwise, it won't change that. So please don't remind me. I've heard enough of it from Spike already."
At this, Fluttershy felt a pang of discouragement in her heart. The pegasus didn't want to pry, especially if Twilight insisted on it, although she was aware that seeking and maintaining Celestia's approval was a constant worry of hers, even after all this time. Again, she was reminded of Twilight's similarity to herself in being reluctant to reveal deeply-rooted troubles, trying to think of an approach that would suit her own self if she was in Twilight's place.
'Maybe if I give her a little bit of time, she might just... Talk about it on her own...'
The thought caused her to squirm unsurely, reminded of the urgency in helping her so she could resolve the dilemma with Skylar, and yet still painfully aware that emotional trust could not be rushed. Still, she remained silent, continuing the mutual task with the books. The entire time, she would glance at Twilight every few moments to check on her. The 'emotional bleed' sensation was feeding her a number of slowly growing feelings; inferiority, love, concern, paranoia, confusion, and nostalgia. They continued to trickle into Fluttershy's consciousness, gradually molding together a distant memory that Twilight was reminiscing in from when she was a filly;
Twilight Sparkle missed being home.
She had very loving parents, who took every chance to remind her how much she meant to them. But they were also very busy, frequently working overtime, and on weekends and holidays, saving to be able to afford to provide food and necessities, and to save for Twilight's education. Far too often, she would get stuck with a complete stranger, a babysitter who callously resented what little her parents could afford to pay them, often resulting in a different sitter every time. She missed her father's laughter and cheerfulness, her mother's doting compassion.
One of her fondest rituals with her mother was when she would brush her mane, at the beginning of each dawn and dusk. Her mother always did so with such care and grace, ensuring her daughter's comfort and satisfaction, humming a soothing melody with the coaxing feel of the bristles slowly sliding through each strand of hair. They would remain close all the while, with Twilight nestled into her soft, warm fur, a relaxing embrace to maintain serenity. She would even have Twilight with her facing a mirror, to make sure that her mane looked just the way Twilight wanted, continuing until the filly was satisfied with its appearance. But what Twilight enjoyed more was getting to see her mother right there with her, to know she was around for her, as she hardly ever was. Many of her sitters had tried to emulate this ritual, but it had never been the same. She would always still feel alone.
Her parents had finally gotten her into Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns, where she would stay for the duration of her education. Her parents would come by to visit whenever possible, even taking her back home for the day if they could manage, but again, this happened far too scarcely. Being here was something many others told her she should be proud of, that she was very lucky to even be considered, that all fillies her age would envy her for. But it wasn't the same as being home, with her parents. She was in a strange, unfamiliar place, with new caretakers, who were just more babysitters.
It was her fourth night staying at the castle in Canterlot, peering out the window to view the splendor that was the royal grounds, a sight beyond everypony's wildest dreams. She had spent much time at the side of Princess Celestia, the Sun Goddess ruler of Equestria herself, which had earned more jealousy from her less privileged peers. But even these wonders weren't enough to dispel Twilight's lingering homesickness. On the first three nights here, she had cried herself to sleep, missing her old room and her parents, clutching her doll and only companion Smarty Pants tightly against her chest. Her ears perked as the familiar sound of Celestia's golden horseshoes trotted into the room, but her eyes never left the window.
Concerned, the princess slowly approached, keeping a few feet's distance from the somber filly. "My dear student, what's wrong?"
"I miss Mommy," she murmured in lament.
Celestia frowned, her heart sinking. She knew that this was likely Twilight's ailment, and that not much could be done about it, even with her royal status and power. "I know, Twilight. I'm sorry, but she can't come here right now."
Twilight's eyes squeezed shut, tears forcing through her eyelids. "But I miss Mommy..."
"I promise you, your mother is going to come here very soon, the first chance she gets. But she won't be able to make it tonight. I'm sorry."
The young unicorn began to cry softly, wiping her eyes with her hoof as she leaned her head onto the windowsill. "But I want her to be here now..."
The alicorn was further saddened, desperately wanting to alleviate her student's sorrow. She looked off in the other corner for her doll, levitating it towards her. "How would you like to play with Smarty Pants? Maybe that will help you feel better?"
"I don't want Smarty Pants," Twilight groaned, "I want Mommy..."
Celestia paused for a moment, hesitating, then found an idea. "You wish Mommy was here now?"
First, there was no response. Then, Twilight nodded.
"And you're sad, because you miss Mommy, and she can't be here right now?"
Once more, Twilight nodded.
"You wish Mommy could come get you, and hug you, and play with you. And take you home, and cook you dinner, and brush your mane, and read you bedtime stories. Right?"
Twilight sniffled, turning to face Celestia. At first, her head lowered, but she peered back up at her in confirmation.
"But she can't come here because she's too busy working," Celestia noted, "and that makes you feel upset."
Twilight paused, and slowly nodded one last time.
"I'm sorry."
At this, Twilight started to calm down, and slowly walked to the princess, causing them to gently hug one another.
"Even though I'm the Princess, there's still a lot of things that I'm unable to do a lot of the time. But I will do what I can to help you see your parents more often. I know you miss them a lot. And it's painful and lonely to be without them for so much, and everything becomes hard. You're such a brave little girl, to keep being nice and patient and to do everything you do. I know it's not easy. Once, something happened with my sister, and I haven't seen her for a very, very long time. I miss her a lot, too. I think about her every day, and I wish I could be with her. But having you here helps make it easier. You remind me of all the nice times that I had with her."
Twilight gazed up at Celestia, mystified. "Where did your sister go?" she asked sadly, confused.
Celestia fought to resist the urge to cry. "Somewhere... To help her get better. She became very tired, and upset, and needed a break from being a Princess."
"Is she going to be okay?"
"I hope so..." Celestia returned to the matter at hoof. "I know I'm not your Mommy, but, I will do my best to do everything that she did for you, okay?" she smiled comfortingly.
Twilight paused, and returned her smile. "Okay."
"Come, now, Twilight. It's time to brush your mane."
Within moments, they stood before the mirror in Twilight's room, with Twilight prone on her bed, leaning against Celestia's warm, soft fur. She began to calm down as Celestia started to hum a melody, ever so careful in brushing the filly's mane, always keeping her comfort and preferences in mind. Twilight may not have had her parents there, and Celestia didn't have her sister there, but now, they had each other.
Twilight looked into the mirror, seeing them together, and smiled. Suddenly, she didn't feel alone anymore.
Shuddering, Twilight had become a morose mess, just barely managing to keep herself from releasing an emotional outburst. She began to talk quickly, unfiltered, thinking aloud; "You know, I just wish that I didn't feel like this all the time. Always trying to make up for everything she's done for me, a-a-and, feeling all this guilt that she didn't even cause, and whenever I talk to her about it she just feels worse because she doesn't want to hurt me, and I feel like somehow I'm just not good enough!"
The unicorn panted heavily, her face flushed with a deep red, fearful eyes glazed with shock as she saw Fluttershy and realized she heard everything. Not wanting to experience further embarrassment, Twilight forcefully composed herself, swallowing a knot of nervousness in her throat, ending with a flustered sigh.
"Okay, so I'm not quite at the peak of my mental health. It's just..." she opened her mouth to speak again, then looked back to Fluttershy, her ears lowering. "I never told any of you about what it was like living in Canterlot, have I?"
"It's alright, Twilight. You can tell me anything you want. I promise."
The pegasus had expected more of a resisting answer, but surprisingly, Twilight had begun to open up at this point. "Okay... Well... Fluttershy... You know how sometimes you spend a lot of time alone at your house, with your animals?"
Fluttershy was taken aback, but simply nodded. "Uh huh..."
"That's... Well... That's how I am with my books. You probably already knew that already, um -- it's just, well, see, I, I -- it's not that I don't like being around you, and the rest of our friends, I just need a break from everything sometimes." Twilight released another deep breath, pressure beginning to alleviate.
Her friend nodded once more. "I can understand that."
Twilight suddenly became more somber in disposition, turning her eyes to the bookshelf before her as she walked closer to it. "Really, though... Reading was almost all I had before I came here. Yes, there was Spike. Yes, there was Princess Celestia. And yes, there were my parents. But, aside from that... There was nopony else I felt like I could connect with."
She hung her head and closed her eyes. "Do you know how many ponies in Ponyville can recall the last ten years of Equestrian history? Hardly any. Here's me, having spent more than eighty percent of my life with my nose in a book, and not only am I upset that others don't know what I know, but I didn't have a lot of the experience I needed to interact with them. I guess this was because every time I tried to make friends in Canterlot, I'd always get discouraged. They considered me odd, eccentric, and... 'Simple'. So, I'd always just go back home to my books, which couldn't make me feel so rejected. I figured if I didn't try to make friends, I couldn't fail at it, and I'd save myself a lot of pain."
Twilight's horn glowed, and a select few books floated from their shelves, slowly circling around her. "Except, there are so many things that even a book or a class can't teach you. I didn't learn from any of them that it felt nice to help others. I didn't learn how to be a good, understanding listener. I didn't learn how to express myself, or clarify my feelings. Not from studying. All of these things I had to learn from becoming friends with people like you."
The distraught unicorn shook her head, "And yet, even with that, ponies in general seem to be so closed-minded. They don't want to think outside the box, or give something new a chance, because they're too used to all that they know -- even if it's wrong. Whenever I ask why they stick to unhealthy practices, I just get responses saying it's because 'that's just the way things are', or 'it's traditional', or 'it's how I was raised'. Nopony ever admits it was something taught to them, and that they just never questioned it. Or when they did question it, they were scolded, or given bad answers. Nopony ever admits that it's convenient for them, or that they never thought about it, and they just do it because that's what everypony else says or does."
The flustered mare returned to a state of lament. "But, when I was still living in Canterlot, I used to think that friendship couldn't exist. I'd overhear Moondancer and her friends gossiping about me behind my back, saying I valued studying more than relationships. One day, they started to be nice to me. They would invite me to things like parties and clubs instead of make fun of me. But I learned they were only interested in my company because of my connections to Princess Celestia. They were jealous, and thought she only took me in because my parents paid her, or knew some terrible secret she had to keep quiet."
She shook her head slowly. "I wanted to be more like the ponies I read about in books. To be wise and patient like Star-Swirl The Bearded, or brave and capable like Daring-Do. To be somepony worthy of Princess Celestia's attention. The ruler of Equestria, renowned for her boundless kindness and slowness to anger, hoofpicked me, a lowly Canterlot unicorn, to study under her. I couldn't understand it. I couldn't pass the magic examination test without witnessing the Sonic Rainboom, and yet she treats me like her equal in every way. It makes no sense at all."
Fluttershy could hear her friend's breath get slightly heavier. Twilight continued, "She sent me off to Ponyville to learn about friendship. She told me she didn't want me to live like her, stuck in those castle walls, unable to experience all that life had to offer, without so much attention and responsibility. At first, it was so hard. Staying here would keep me away from her, and staying there would keep me from you and our friends. I didn't want to be without either of you. But I was trying to be the student she wanted me to be."
Twilight started to slightly sniffle, tears forming in her eyelids. "After all, she's the Princess of Equestria, and the Sun Goddess, who stayed awake to raise the sun and the moon for a thousand years, and constantly managed everything around us. I'm just a young mare who works the library in Ponyville -- writing her once a week isn't too much to ask, is it? I had so little responsibility in comparison, and she never asked much of me at all -- so I tried my best to fulfill what she asked, and learn something new on friendship every week. I used to do it just for her, but, I realize that she wanted me to do it for myself ."
Her eyes rested on a familiar spell book, causing her to thrust it back into its place on the bookshelf. "And when I couldn't think of what to write for her anymore... I... I wanted to go back. But I know she wanted me to stay here. I didn't want to disappoint her. I didn't want to fall short on what little she ever asked of me. That's when I got really desperate and tried to create a friendship problem, just so I could write about it. She... She's so perfect in every way, and I... I wanted to deserve all of the love she ever gave me. She keeps trying to reassure me that I already do, but, nothing I could ever do in my entire life could pay her back for what she gave me..."
The unicorn quietly sobbed, trying to remain intelligible. "I remember when her sister, Princess Luna, came back to Ponyville for the first time, on a Nightmare Night a few years past. She... She didn't know anything about friendship, either. She was stuck in what she only knew, in her cold, lonely life. Everypony else misunderstood her, and judged her. She only wanted to get along with everypony, and never meant anything bad. But she needed help. She reminded me so much of... Me... Of how I was. I could empathize with her so easily. So, I was compelled to help her."
Wiping the tears from her eyelids with a hoof, she continued. "I always did my best to help everypony else, and remain humble about it. I never tried to brag, or be arrogant. My first Winter Wrap Up in Ponyville, I screwed up everything that I tried, until I tried to help with organizing. And sure, Trixie's fans brought in the Ursa Minor that I stopped, but I was barely able to do that. And yes, I helped stop Nightmare Moon and Discord, but I couldn't have done it without you and the others. I never wanted to show off or boast about any of those things, because those were all I was good for. Just magic, books, organizing, and lecturing. Nothing else."
Twilight's head lowered. "Because I'm the Element of Magic. The element of cold, unfeeling logic. Not kindness, or generosity, or anything worth knowing anypony for. What's so harmonious about that? The only reason any of you are even my friends is because you had to show me how to be a good person."
She stopped talking, trying hard to silence her own crying. Fluttershy gingerly walked towards her, ever cautious to try not to upset her friend further.
"Oh, Twilight..." Fluttershy slowly, gently hugged the distraught unicorn. "You mean so much to me and our friends. You always have. You were always a good person, before any of us ever even knew you. You're always thinking and caring about how we feel, and you treat everypony around you kindly. You do deserve Celestia's love."
They slowly separated, although Fluttershy gingerly held Twilight's front hooves in her own. She added, "I may not know a lot about magic, personally. But, I do know that long, long ago, before pegasi ever met unicorns, they considered magic to be miracles. Fantastic things that were supposed to be impossible, or never happened. Like incurable diseases being cured, and everlasting youth. Things that seemed so amazing, or too good to be true, that witnessing it was one of the most magnificent things you could possibly experience."
Fluttershy slightly backed away, smiling. "And here you are. You always make sure that the best outcome possible happens. And that it isn't a good solution unless everypony's happy, and if that's not possible, then you find the next best thing. You enrich our lives every day, and bring so much joy just by being here. I don't know why you can't see that you're good enough for Princess Celestia, because it makes all the sense in the world. A unicorn having spent so much time feeling cold and alone, yet whose heartwarming friendliness brightens everypony and everything around her, especially when they need it the most. A much-needed friendliness that literally saved all of Equestria as we know it, more than once. I don't know about you, but that sounds like a miracle to me."
Twilight was deeply moved. Hearing firsthoof just how her existence had impacted Fluttershy, the one pony known as the epitome of kindness, helped convince her that she indeed had a place at Celestia's side. She tearfully embraced the pegasus once more, hugging her tightly and closely.
"Thank you."
Looking past her mane, Fluttershy noticed a book that Twilight had accidentally dropped onto the floor, 'Magical Artifacts'. A pang of tension hit her, remembering that she needed to hurry so that she could finally resolve the Panacea Crystal crisis.
'Well, Twilight's starting to feel better... But how is she going to take the news about the crystal? Should we talk about other things a little more to make sure she's calm enough first? Will she be understanding of the urgency, or will she be angered that it wasn't our first subject?'
The pegasus was overwhelmed by the problem. It would be a terrible shame if something happened to her before she could finish helping Twilight, but she'd never forgive herself if Skylar hurt them before she could fix this first.
Suddenly, Twilight backed away from her, looking around the room with a shocked expression. It was as if she just had an existential epiphany. Fluttershy, confused, tried to look for whatever was drawing her attention away, but couldn't find it.
"Twilight, what's wrong?"
Just then, Twilight squinted her eyes shut, and her horn glowed. Soon, the familiar magenta aura that surrounded all of her enchantments filled the room, encasing the house little by little. At this point, bewildered, Fluttershy finally recognized something familiar. She heard Vesper's voice in her mind.
'Fluttershy, please freeze time within the house now. I'm not here to hurt you or your friends. This is extremely important.'
She only briefly hesitated, somehow able to pick up on Vesper's sincerity once more. Promptly obeying, the pegasus placed her hoof on the sands, and soon all but Twilight and herself were moving or audible within the library. As if on cue, the royal purple smoke that Fluttershy attributed to the genie had appeared out of thin air, forming into his familiar silhouette before Vesper himself finally appeared.
Twilight was initially taken aback by the genie, but quickly composed herself, equally bewildered and fascinated. "You're... The voice that just asked me to cast the protection spell?"
"That's right," Vesper replied. His eyes rested on Fluttershy. "I'm so sorry that I haven't been able to tell you about this until now. It was too dangerous before. He could see me, and everything I did."
"Hold on a minute," Twilight interrupted. "I know you just told me that we're in danger, but please, in order, could you explain what's going on? What is it exactly that's endangering us, and how do you know Fluttershy?"
As she requested, the genie began to fill the unicorn in on mostly everything Fluttershy had already learned. He told Twilight about the impending threat that Skylar was bringing, and the Panacea Crystals and the sands within. As Fluttershy feared, she was upset that she hadn't known about this sooner, especially being such a serious situation, but was more in a mindset of getting prepared to address the emergency.
"But wait," said Twilight, "how can he be an alicorn if his parents were a pegasus and a unicorn? If that were the case, there would be alicorns all over Equestria by now."
"Remember, this was before crossbreeding amongst all ponies was socially accepted. The first few generations of these unions, like Skylar, possessed wings and a magical horn, but lacked the same raw power and ability that your goddesses Luna and Celestia have, being born of the original alicorn race. As such, this makes Skylar a kind of alternate type of alicorn, which genetically faded years later. Except, he's had many centuries to practice and nurture his magic, and has grown very powerful. So much so that I needed your protection spell to shield us from his awareness."
Fluttershy spoke up next. "And, are you really his genie, as he said?..."
Vesper was visibly weighed down by guilt. He closed his eyes, releasing a deep sigh. "Yes, it's true. I am his genie."
Although Fluttershy had suspected it before, both she and Twilight were shocked.
"It all started more than twelve hundred years ago. Skylar was still a colt just past his teen years. He was hopelessly in love with Auburn, an earth pony around his age. But being as how he was a pegasus, they had to keep their romance a secret, lest they be persecuted. So, they built a cabin outside of their town, right next to a waterfall by the forest, where they would escape to be together. Nearby was a cave that housed my chamber. Their strong affection for one another had freed me and woke me from my slumber. When I saw them together, and how happy they were with each other, I knew I had found proper candidates in my new masters. I was fond of their contagious positivity, and more than willing to begin serving them."
Vesper turned away from the mares, racked with shame. "Except, I was still very exhausted. It had been numerous centuries since I was last released. All of my previous masters had pried me from my chamber with strong emotions, but the wrong kinds; hatred, jealousy, vengeance. They used me to enact destructive purposes, such as war, genocide, and torture. It happened to me so often and for so long that my power was greatly diminished. It had weighed on my conscience a great deal, and I was eager for a change, wanting to create happiness instead of being helplessly forced to create suffering. But no matter how much I wanted it, my magic was still very weak, and so was I. So, I retreated back into my chamber to rest, and regain my strength. I figured that with such a strong love shared between them, Skylar and Auburn would be ready to summon me again when my time came."
It was here that a sharp emotional pain filled the genie. "Or, so I thought, anyhow. While I was still in a deep, deep sleep, their relationship was getting closer to being discovered by people who... Disapproved. It was becoming dangerous for them to stay together, yet they refused to separate. They devised an elaborate plan to run away together, to somewhere desolate and isolated enough that their hidden love would never be uncovered, and they could live the rest of their lives with each other. But, just before they were going to embark, Auburn vanished, leaving Skylar alone."
As he continued, Fluttershy noticed that Vesper felt deeply disgusted with himself. "He looked for her everywhere he could. He searched for the places they had planned to go, and she wasn't there. He waited for her for ten years. All the while, Skylar was still tormented by his peers, and other residents of his village who knew him. Once he had enough, he drowned himself to death in the lake below the waterfall. It was then and only then that I awoke once more, stirred by the boundless despair he experienced in his final moments. I was too late to save him, but I did manage to get his soul before it could vanish into nothing. Out of guilt, I placed him in his own personal purgatory where he could live again. Except, he didn't want this; he had wanted to vanish into nothing, after all. I tried to right my wrong by him, but I'd only made it worse, and it was too late to go back."
Vesper looked up towards the library's ceiling. "Furiously, he took out his pain on me, subjecting me to many horrors, and I accepted it all, feeling I deserved them. It was here that he was finally able to discover and nurture his dormant magic abilities, repressed in life through the spell that took his horn. Eventually, he realized he was losing the traits he held so dear in his life, such as kindness. Even with all he did to me, I still tried to help him, but was unable to; he still held me responsible for this, and he was right. Not wanting to inflict any more pain on anyone else, or suffer endless years in a purgatory without anyone he considered a friend, he created a spell which filtered out all the negative emotions he experienced, storing them to be locked away. But with no reasons to experience positive emotions, he became a hollow, empty shell, full of stoicism and apathy."
It was here that Fluttershy saw a new emotion on Vesper's face; great, and terrible, fear. He continued, "What neither of us had realized is that Skylar hadn't created a mere container with that spell. He created a sentient, living being. All it ever knew or experienced was the pain that Skylar passed on to it, and it grew with each time that Skylar would have hurt without it, which was constant, never ending. All that time trapped alone with us, unable to move or communicate, with nothing but it's own thoughts... It must have lost it's mind. As Skylar's magic grew, along with the diverted pain stored away, so had the pitiful creature, and it, too, became stronger. It grew to the point that it finally freed itself, taking over Skylar and forcing him to experience centuries of blocked pain all at once. Without the time or preparation to handle it, he became impossibly bitter and hostile. Just before the creature attacked him, Skylar had finally forgiven me, and accepted me as his friend..."
The pegasus's 'emotional bleeding' effect took in Vesper's great sadness as the genie kept speaking, "The creature has never left him ever since. He finally resumed torturing me, after centuries of leaving me be; but these new methods made the old ones feel like tickling. He wanted to find more places and more people to unleash his pain on, and devised a plan that would allow him to do so, one that would take many more years of waiting. To do this, Skylar needed to find someone who shared the same traits he had while he was alive, and get them not just to release me from the Panacea Crystal, but to die so that he can replace them in the living world. Or, at least, to spend enough time around the artifact to release him as well, although he'd have much less power that way. Fluttershy was not only the perfect match for this, but an Element of Harmony, as well; and without even one of them, the rest would be powerless to stop him."
The genie's gaze rested on Fluttershy. "At first, I had been suffering for so long that I didn't care anymore if helping him meant the death and suffering of countless people, as long as I stopped hurting. But then I got to meet you. You reminded me of how he used to be, before any of this happened. I felt guilty, seeing how good of a person you were, and remembering how sick and tired I already was of being a tool of suffering. So then I changed my mind, and decided to help you instead. I tried to warn you away so many times, to keep him from getting a chance to hurt you, but there was only so much I was able to do without him finding out. I'm sorry that I wasn't able to help you more, and that I failed to keep you from being involved in the perversion of his original goals."
Twilight raised an eyebrow. "Perversion of his original goals?..."
Vesper turned his attention to her, and paused. He took a deep breath, wincing. "While with me in his purgatory, before the creature took hold of him, Skylar witnessed historical events that were of great personal significance to him. They involved your leader, Princess Celestia. While Skylar himself hadn't been a motivation for her, the kind of issues he objected to, such as discrimination and war, were. Celestia has always been a fair and just ruler, judging her subjects not by how they worshipped her, but through the virtues they lived by. Her methods differed greatly from the rule of her parents, who had confused respect with fear, and listening with obedience, notions as dangerous as mistaking poison for water.
"While she was still a young and new leader, ruling alongside her sister Luna, Celestia inspected how Equestria fared under their parents' rule, and realized how unhealthy their influence was. She decided that in order for Equestria to function better in terms of society, several changes would need to be made. She wanted it to become a land where there would be no need for greed, or hunger. Where there was nothing to kill or die for, and hatred, intolerance, and war were things of the past. Where progress would lead to everyone's happiness. Where the effort and resources spent on weapons could instead be used to feed, clothe, and educate everyone.
"Celestia sought the advice of both her sister, Luna, and her best friend, Discord. Discord in particular had given her influence with his philosophy on anarchism, which she'd use to enable people to live and do as they pleased without harming anyone else, instead of forcefully taking what they wanted from each other. Then, she replaced lethal weaponry with harmless, painless ways of pacifying hostile people, and traded punishment for mutual understanding. Next, she erased currency in favor of a resource based economy, so that everyone would be guaranteed access to necessities required to live.
"Her next goal was doing away with the concept of non-individual territories that made their occupants feel superior and spiteful towards others, trading competition for cooperation, and uniting Equestria. The princess then focused on uniting everybody together to explore the nature and existence of afterlives and higher powers, for no one knew for certain if they were there and what they were like."
Vesper seemed reluctant to tell more, but could see that he had further captured both mares' curiosity. "However, there were those among Equestria's citizens who were displeased with Celestia's new changes. They became scared and angry, and began to rebel. Much of what her parents had done during their rule was not good for them, but they didn't know anything different, and were ready to defend it when challenged with the frightening unfamiliar. These people claimed that Celestia's message of peace, however well intended, was not good or true. That erasing suffering would also erase happiness. That Celestia was trying to take away their individualism, wanting them all to blend in one conformist group, that she alone would greedily rule over in it's entirety as a tyrant.
"However, they didn't understand that these things weren't what she wanted. Her last act was going to be to step down as ruler of Equestria, so that she could be equal to everyone, preferring for people to govern themselves instead of be ruled by a leader. To maintain their individuality with self-accountability and ultimate freedom, while bonding with others over what they shared in common, coexisting with everyone peacefully. Before she could do this, however, it was already too late. The people who disagreed were revolting, and it got worse every day. It reached the point that her followers using nonviolent civil disobedience could no longer prevent the angry mobs from causing harm. The way they saw it, the one in control had abused her power, and it was their responsibility as the people to take her down.
"In the resulting turmoil, Discord had become embittered and disillusioned upon seeing his dreams of a successful anarchist society shattered. He abandoned his old, harmonious philosophy in favor of living by the greedy and harmful ways of chaos. Celestia and Luna were forced to imprison him in stone to prevent him from worsening the riots. Luna herself, sympathizing with the concerns of the rioters, and jealous of her contributions to Equestria remaining ignored, believed Celestia had gone insane and needed to be stopped. The Moon Goddess effectively took over as the leader of the revolt, wanting a return to the way of their parents' rule. Although Celestia did so against her will, this forced her to resort to drastic responses.
"Many losses were suffered. The city that is now Ponyville today was utterly destroyed in the midst of battle, and would remain barren of life until Granny Smith Apple returned it to civilization. Almost everything that Celestia fought so hard to create was overtaken, and many who believed in her dream were killed for their choices. Celestia did the best she could to peacefully deal with each of the rioters, erasing their memories of the controversies and placing them back in their homes.
"In protest, Luna refused to lower the moon and end the night sky until Celestia reverted to the ways of their parents. Celestia attempted to reason and compromise with her, but this only infuriated Luna to the point of a violent, blind rage, and she attacked. In fear of her life, Celestia immediately cast a panic-fueled, powerful spell in self defense, accidentally stripping away most of Luna's powers and sending her to the moon.
"In spite of her power and wisdom, Celestia had not yet figured out a way to bring Luna back. She searched tirelessly every day to find the right spell that would reunite her with her sister, all the while cleaning up the mess of the conflict and returning many of her parents' ways out of guilt. The Sun Goddess held no grudge towards her kin; she knew that Princess Luna was just as noble and cared for their people as much as she did, and only did what she believed was right. She wanted to make sure by the time Luna returned to Equestria, it resembled the land she knew and loved, and she never forgave herself for unintentionally banishing her.
"While some amount of good changes had come out of Celestia's revolutionary attempts, it was outweighed by the damage and losses Equestria suffered. Its citizens were unprepared to accept Celestia's ways into their hearts, and thus disobeyed any laws that they disagreed with. Luna would return from the moon after a thousand years, and by then, the Celestial Revolutionary Conflict had mostly been erased from history, with few remnants to even suggest it once ever happened.
"From within his otherworldly purgatory, Skylar watched the events of the entire conflict, and it deeply resonated with him. He had much time to think over why the attempts went wrong, which parts of Celestia's philosophy he agreed and disagreed with, and how the proposed ways could have been passed with little to no refusal from Equestria's citizens. He agreed with the concept of everyone living together in harmony, and wanted to see it come true. Before the creature ever overtook him, Skylar initially wanted to give Celestia's dream a second chance, believing it would be better received in a future year when Equestria had advanced in societal progress and open-mindedness.
"He was going to enlist your help to bring him back into the living world, so that he could pursue this. Before he could do it, the creature seized him, twisting and inverting his goal; instead, he now wanted to punish Equestria for rejecting Celestia's dream, and wanted to revive the atrocities he felt they perpetuated by insisting on keeping the archaic rules. Hence, his threat of bringing violence, discrimination, and hatred back to your world."
Vesper had finished explaining, and Fluttershy was astonished and bewildered at this newfound knowledge.
"How... Dare... You..." Twilight's voice growled.
Confused, Fluttershy turned to look at her unicorn friend, shocked to find her in a boiling rage.
"How DARE you!!! I've known Princess Celestia for all of my life! She's shared everything she knows with me, and she'd never lie to me! She never said anything about this, ever! And here you are trying to say her people made her out to be some... Some kind of tyrant! This is unacceptable! Unforgivable! Get out!!! Both of you, get out!!! "
At that moment, Twilight became completely still, frozen in her outraged yelling.
Fluttershy's hoof slowly slipped off her pouch of time sands. She was fighting all urges to sob, fearing that she had just completely destroyed her friendship with the unicorn, first by neglecting to tell her about the Panacea Crystal, then by letting in Vesper, who revealed Celestia's secret. She sighed quietly, looking down at the sands as she rested her hoof back onto them, squinting her eyes shut as she focused. The pegasus had rewound time to the point that Twilight had started to feel better, embracing Fluttershy after hearing her heartwarming encouragement. It had effectively wiped the unicorn's memory of Vesper's existence. The pegasus was about to resume time's flow, then checked behind her for Vesper. He was gone.
'Vesper?'
'You've achieved your wish, Fluttershy. You've made peace with all of your friends. Please don't look for me. I can't help you anymore. I need to go now, or Skylar will know I protected you.'
'Please, Vesper, don't leave!'
Fluttershy waited, but received no reply. Disheartened, she placed her head back against Twilight's neck, wiping tears away with her hoof before embracing her again. She lamented that she wouldn't be able to talk more with her friend and solve whatever problems remained, but she couldn't risk her getting harmed by Skylar. It hurt, very badly. What would they talk about if Fluttershy could tell her this might be the last time they see each other again? There would be no more pondering -- time resumed.
"Twilight, I-I'm sorry, but I've just remembered something really important I have to go do. It's been nice seeing you." Fluttershy tried to part from the hug gently, wanting to hurry, but not wanting to hurt Twilight's feelings. Soon, she slipped out of the unicorn's hooves, and swiftly trotted towards the front door.
Twilight sniffled. "Okay, Fluttershy. Thank you for listening to me, and helping me. I'll see you later, okay?"
Those last five words sank Fluttershy's heart. She stopped at the doorway, turning to look back at one of her first friends, holding back tears. She simply smiled, warmly, and nodded once. Then, she galloped away.
The entire run back to the edge of the Everfree Forest, with the world around her frozen, Fluttershy felt light headed. It was like she was having another dream, or undergoing an out of body experience. But she knew this was definitely real. She could tell by the way her aching, morose heart pounded against her chest, the salty sting of tears copiously flowing from her eyelids, audible sobs that couldn't remain trapped in her throat. The voices of her friends echoed in her mind, hearkening back to all the joyous memories they experienced together.
'I can't even say goodbye to them.'
She squinted her eyes shut for a moment.
'For all I know, this could be the end. Skylar might take me with him when I undo his work. Or he could kill me when I'm trying. But, at least my friends are happy, now... Mostly...'
If she wanted to, she could have taken Twilight with her to stand more of a chance with her magic. But this meant a likely shattered friendship, and the possibility of the unicorn dying.
'I have to do this alone. But then, at least, if Skylar gets me, no one will die but me.'
Her hooves finally skidded to a halt, stopping her before the tree with "P.C." carved into it. Fluttershy was about to begin digging, then stopped to think.
'I should take the Panacea Crystal back to when I first found it, and destroy it, or abandon it... But... What if I can take it to the Star-Swirl the Bearded wing in Canterlot Castle? That's where all the time spells are... Celestia could help me... Or, what if I go back in time more than twelve hundred years, when Skylar was alive, and keep him from killing himself, and reunite him with Auburn? Ohh, I don't know... I've had no time to plan this out at all, and I have to make a decision really soon, or else Skylar can come back and hurt everypony!'
Fluttershy continued to panic, pressuring herself to hurry and make a decision -- all of Equestria potentially depended on what she did now.
Suddenly, a bright flash appeared just before her, briefly blinding her. Right where she was about to dig in front of her hooves was a small, white notecard. Bewildered, she opened it with her hoof to read.
'If you want to learn the rest of the truth, return to the cave where you found the crystal. Follow the light to the deepest point.'
Then just as quickly as it had appeared, the notecard vanished.
"Imagine all the people,
Living life in peace,
You may say I'm a dreamer,
But I'm not the only one,
I hope someday you'll join us,
And the world will be as one"
Against her suspicions and fears, Fluttershy had decided to obey the mysterious vanishing card. She was returning to the cave where she first found the Panacea Crystal. The silence that surrounded her in frozen time was heavier and more intense than ever. With only her own thoughts to accompany her along the journey, and the palpable turmoil surrounding her imminent future, the crushing pressure drove the pegasus to her wits' end. Her wings beat heavily as she flew straight from the artifact's burial place to the top of the hill, resting her hooves onto the jagged stone just before the entrance of the dark abyss. The landing clop echoed distantly through the faceless caverns, signifying a long trek to her next destination.
Although all inhibitions screamed at her not to go in, Fluttershy was mildly reassured by the return of the beckoning sensation she felt when first encountering the Crystal. Sure enough, a faint flickering of white light off in the distance welcomed her pursuit. She perked in alarm, darting in after it before it could die off. Whoever had written the card was correct. The pegasus figured it could only be Vesper or Skylar; if it was the latter, she had reason to expect a trap, or a final plea for help -- maybe if it was the former as well. It seemed like a foolish decision to follow it, but she was just as uncertain about the outcome her other ideas would have had. It wasn't long before Fluttershy was forced to take to her wings again in order to keep up. The traveling light was always just around the corners and edges, nearly out of her field of vision. Its purpose appeared urgent, just as Fluttershy's quest with the Panacea Crystal was.
The eerie silence seemed to grow in tension as the pegasus flew further into the cave's darkness, as if it were a part that always belonged there even in the unfrozen timeline. Noticing this and remaining focused on the guiding brightness, her fleeting thoughts compared it to her own life, all the way up to her current predicament. So much pain and sadness had loomed over each of her living years, with little reason to want to hold on or continue. For a recent, undetermined amount of time, her friends, her only anchors onto hope, had also plunged into a deep melancholy, and she desperately tried to help them like they've helped her in the past. Now, she'd mostly succeeded in alleviating the latest woes of her allies, but Fluttershy herself still carried heavy burdens. The lack of a will to keep living, and guilt for what may or may not pass due to her actions.
The next several minutes she spent following her mysterious guide felt more like hours. Only able to see what it illuminated, it's final destination appeared to be within yet another cavern by an internal cliff. The pegasus followed it inside, and was overwhelmed by the return of complete darkness. She kept completely still, frozen in fear, unsure of what was going to happen next.
'Is this a mistake? A trap? Where did I go? How am I going to get out?'
Just before she could panic, the light suddenly returned, bursting out of thin air in a blinding, bright glow. Fluttershy exclaimed, shielding her eyes, waiting to adjust to the source that illuminated this smaller cave within a cave. Once she finally pulled her hoof away, she noticed that it had taken the form of a transparent, young, beautiful mare. Her coat was brown, with a red mane and tail. The mare wore a black cowboy hat, and had the cutie mark of a house on her flank.
'... Auburn?!?'
"Yes, Fluttershy, it's me," the glowing mare answered her. "Thank you for listening to me and coming here. I have many important things to tell you, and... And it's been a long time since I've gotten to talk to anypony at all. I promise that Skylar won't be able to see you here. He won't want to look for me. It's too painful for him."
Auburn closed her eyes, morose. "Before I say anything else, I just want you to understand that I love Skylar more than I have ever loved anything. I always have, and I always will. I bear no ill will towards him or wish him any harm, or for anypony else for that matter. What I am about to tell you will help protect you and your friends from him, as well as stop him from doing something he'd regret, if he was in his right mind."
"How do you know all of this about me?" Fluttershy asked timidly.
"Whenever he got the chance, Vesper would revisit me and tell me these things. He's been trying to find a way for you and I to help each other. We both need something desperately, and they both involve Skylar. And we can't get those things without one another, you and I. I don't have much I want to ask of you, but... It may seem daunting."
"What is it?"
Auburn stared at her own hooves before her, as if disheartened by her own spectral visage. "I have been here for a long time, and grow tiresome of this restless afterlife. My soul cannot rest until Skylar accepts the truth about what happened to me. I did not betray him, or leave him for somepony else, like he wanted you to believe. That was merely something he convinced himself was true to cope with his pain. When he discovered his reason for lacking a cutie mark all started because of an affair his mother had, he was devastated, and concluded I must have done the same to disappear from his life. I know that you are weary, and you wish to hurry, but please, listen to my tale. It is vital to solving your ordeal with him, and will give me great relief."
"... Okay..."
'When I first met Skylar, we were both just teenagers living in Ponyville. I was only a few years older than him, and I'd seen him around before a lot of times, but we'd never really talked to each other before. Sometimes I would happen to pass by, seeing him work with the weather ponies, or he would be passing by when I was building houses with my dad. But then, one day, all of that changed...'
The radiant sun bathed Ponyville in warmth and brightness. The air was fresh and rich with blooming flowers, and there were hardly any clouds in the sky. Birds sang a jovial melody, and children laughed as they played. Auburn smiled to herself, enjoying the rich atmosphere. It was her first break from working on houses all day, her coat and mane still matted down and slick with sweat. She had worked alone for most of the while, as her father August pulled some muscles in his back and needed to lie down. Noticing they were low on apples, he had sent her out to buy some more for lunch. After that, he would finish recovering, and she would continue working.
Auburn had a stable family bond with her father, not free of it's faults and obstacles, but nonetheless fulfilling and healthy. Their greatest common trait was the strong desire to help others, and the willpower to do so. During these hard times, not many ponies could afford homes, and the lifelong father-daughter team sought to accommodate them with sustainable, durable shelter. It had surprised the mare that through Equestria's current crises, her local peers and neighbors were able to find the time and disposition to appreciate the beautiful day. But what she had just yet to find would gradually blossom into something most pleasant of all for her.
When she'd finally reached the market, getting ready to purchase her next bushel of apples, Auburn noticed a familiar pony out the corner of her eye. He was a pegasus colt, with gray fur, and a cyan mane and tail, without a cutie mark. It was Skylar. He appeared deeply troubled by something.
"Why do you look so sad? It's such a beautiful day out."
Skylar glanced at Auburn, and looked away sheepishly. "No thanks to me..."
"What do you mean?"
"I've messed things up again. I'm on the weather team, and I didn't get the clouds right this morning. The captain says that if he sees me slip up again, I'm getting fired."
Auburn beamed. "I knew I recognized you from somewhere!" her tone steadily grew somber, realizing what had happened. "Hey... You're not that bad. I've watched you work on the weather before. You take your time to do things delicately, the right way, where other ponies would rush things and make a mess of it. Besides, you've only been on there for, what, two months? You're not terrible, but, there's still some things you might need to get a hold of, so your captain should cut you some slack. I... I really enjoy seeing you do it," she added, slightly nervous about how her context would be perceived.
Skylar appeared slightly reassured. "Thanks, but, sadly I doubt the captain would care much for your concerns. He's all about getting things done on an air tight schedule -- uh, no pun intended -- and generally expects the new recruits to match the seniors' performances within a week. I'm just really worried about keeping my job... It's the only income I have, and without it, I can't afford to take care of my mom... She's crippled, and needs my help to get by... I'm just here right now to pick up some apples for her..."
Auburn started to remember more. "What a coincidence, I'm here getting apples for my father. He's resting right now. He and I build houses, and sometimes he overworks himself and needs to stop before he hurts himself... Your mother... Her name is April, isn't it? I think I've seen you take her out here in a wheelchair to run some errands before. You take really good care of her."
"Thank you, I try my best..."
An awkward silence hung between the two momentarily. Soon, they launched into a rant about their respective parents, gushing details about their recent concerns. The teens expressed genuine care and respect for their guardians, but also lament for the lingering, growing imperfections that tore rifts between them.
Simultaneously, they ended with the phrase, "I just want to have a life of my own, too."
Both of them stared at one another in surprise, astonished at how much they had already shared in common.
"... They can be so demanding sometimes, can't they?" said Skylar.
"... Um... Yeah... Yeah, I guess they can be." Auburn answered. After another quiet pause, she added, "Do you want to be friends?"
'It wasn't long before we both went out of our own ways to get to see each other every day. We weren't even particularly that close yet, but there was some kind of attraction to him I still can't explain. I think he felt it for me, too, since he'd find his way to me even when I was too busy to do the same for him. We just always found comfort in being with each other somehow.'
A few weeks had passed, and Auburn and Skylar were nicely settled in their friendship. They would play games, visit places, eat meals, talk about things; almost everything there was to do, they did together. In spite of getting to experience these many activities in each other's company, they were often hard pressed for time, tending to or working with their parents. This caused the two teens to utilize every minute of their free time and opportunities to sneak out in order to reunite and make up for lost time. Today, Auburn had gotten finished with her work a little earlier than usual, and she was on her way to meet Skylar for lunch.
The young mare's legs and back ached, drenched in perspiration. She'd been looking forward to seeing her friend all day. A small part of her also thought that maybe someday, he could be a little more than just a friend...
Just then, laughing and jeering voices echoed from around the street corner. Auburn recognized them as some of Skylar's bullies, fellow pegasi who would taunt his lack of a cutie mark and perceived incompetence. The mare didn't hesitate to gallop to his rescue, just in time to see one of them kick Skylar down, causing him to skid a short distance along the street.
"Gosh, fellas, why don't you leave him alone already? Don't you think he's just about had enough?" Auburn called out in annoyance.
"Uh oh, look out! Blank Flank's got a friend to back him up!"
Auburn raised a brow in irritation. "Do you really want to reckon with the force of a buck that's gone clean through entire trees?"
At this, the bully pegasi started to back off, although one gave Skylar a last kick to the belly before running off and laughing. Auburn chased after them, but they got away before she could do anything. She started to help Skylar back onto his hooves, shaking her head in disapproval.
"Gosh, Skylar, why don't you up and stand for yourself once in a while? If you keep letting those other ponies walk all over you, they'll never stop. Sometimes you gotta fight back."
"I can't, Auburn," Skylar replied as he began to brush himself off. "I've made it my rule to always show kindness to everypony else, especially if they're unkind in return. If they act in some way that's hurtful to others, it's usually because they, themselves, have already been hurt. Who am I to add onto that, whatever it is? For all I know, my retaliation could be the final straw for them."
She shook her head softly. "Whatever you say."
'At first, I couldn't understand it. How he could just sit there and take whatever anypony said or did to him. But I thought more about what he had to say, and it made sense. Even if I didn't completely agree at the time, or want to admit it to myself, I had to confess that he was right. There was already so much pain and anger in the world without us doing anything -- why do anything to add more onto it?
'Anyhow, I wasn't much luckier than he was. I had my share of bullies, too. A lot of ponies in town thought that the kind of work I was doing wasn't cut out for a mare, and that I shouldn't be involved. I blame it on ponies of the time being much more simple minded back then. And not to brag, but I happened to notice that I was even better at building and fixing things than a lot of my dad's male business competitors. I got really sick of it, just like Skylar was, and we decided it'd be nicer if we could have someplace where we wouldn't have to deal with ponies like that. I don't know how many days we would go for walks and just talk until we found it.
'It was this beautiful forest clearing, surrounded by plenty of tall trees, right next to this lake from a waterfall on the hill. Just far enough from town that none of them would go through so much trouble just to find us, and just close enough that we could hurry home if we needed to. There was this big pathway we memorized, with a lot of secret signs and markers we'd use to remember hidden shortcuts and where we were, where other ponies would just get lost in the forest.
'Skylar was still really worried about losing his job. So, I offered him something to fall back on. Unfortunately, I was positive my dad wouldn't want him working with us, so I kind of secretly hired him by myself. I'd give him half of my pay in exchange for helping me gather supplies. I also taught him how to craft and build, on the off chance that my dad might have a change of heart, or maybe if he could even get work with one of the other carpenters. All the while, without even realizing it, he was helping me grow as a mare. When other ponies would talk to me, they'd often judge, lecture, or label me. But he'd never do these things. Skylar treated me better than anypony else ever has, and I guess a lot of his kindness rubbed off on me.'
The cabin was finally finished. It had taken several weeks, but the two friends completed it. Skylar was both weary and strengthened by the long durations of lifting and carrying so many large objects, but it had ultimately paid off, with Auburn always at his side. In spite of being a weather pony, he had never been one much for physical work, until recently. The two were so comforted by each other's company that they would now deliberately look for any excuse possible in order to get together.
Whenever they were finished with another tiring, grueling session of physical labor, they would indulge in the cool, refreshing waters of the lake nearby. They would cleanse themselves, swim around, sometimes laugh as they splashed each other. Over time, they had grown so close and secure with each other's company that Skylar and Auburn would even take turns bathing each other when one or both of them were too tired to do it to themselves. What had began as simple and quick casual favors slowly melted into subconscious exchanges of sensual intimacy, secretly enthralled by each other's touches, yet never exceeding a light massage at most.
Out of celebration for completing the cabin, they purchased dinner from one of their favorite restaurants in town. As much as they wanted to, they could not stay at the restaurant and dine together, as they'd gotten strange looks of disapproval for being a male pegasus and a female earth pony in each other's company before. They figured it would be best not to draw any more ire towards them, so Skylar got the meal to go and brought it back to the cabin for Auburn.
They were getting settled in, and almost ready to eat. Auburn stared out of the window next to the dining table. She gazed through the stars littered about the night, a contrasting brightness among their dark blanket in the sky, reminding her of hopes for something better in her life than what she had known. Something different from straining her body with hard work daily, or being ridiculed by other ponies for utilizing her natural skills, or living and working under a doting, yet stern father. Something she hadn't found until she met Skylar. A pegasus who had every reason to be embittered, withdrawn, and unpleasant, and yet was as kind, caring and generous as could be.
Skylar was getting the fireplace started, filling the cabin with warmth and light. He had taken this opportunity to carefully reheat some of the food he retrieved, which cooled down during his return to the cabin.
"There's something I have to tell you..." Auburn spoke softly.
"... Okay. What is it?"
"I've noticed, sometimes, I haven't always been the best to you that I possibly could be. You're my best friend. I should treat you better. You have such mindful, considerate views on things. On how to interact and deal with people. And I've scolded you for them. But you were right. And I know sometimes I let my problems get the better of me, and I take them out on you."
Auburn walked closer to Skylar. "I just want you to know, if I ever act upset towards you for anything, or do something hurtful... It's not about you. It's never about you. You've always respected how I feel. You've always listened to me, understood me, accepted me, cared for me. Just please... Always remember that. No matter what I do or say, it's never about you. Okay?"
She embraced the pegasus, closing her eyes. "Even if you get old and die without ever getting a cutie mark... You'll still be the best colt I've ever known."
Weeks had passed since Skylar and Auburn completed the cabin. The colt had been deeply touched by what Auburn had to tell him that night, and couldn't get it out of his mind. He wasn't sure entirely what it meant, or why it made him feel the way that he did, just that Auburn really cared about him a lot. It confused him, as Skylar was used to feeling ignored and unimportant to everypony, even his own mother. April was a good person, and Skylar cared about her a lot, but it didn't change that a lot of things she did and said made him feel hurt and guilty. So when Auburn, a mare his age he felt attracted to said something so new -- and nice -- to him, he had no idea what to make of it.
The enigma continued to race throughout his thoughts as he made his way back to the cabin to meet with her again. They waited until dusk when their parents were asleep to sneak out and spend even more time together than they used to. It wasn't enough to just catch each other during the scarce moments in the day when they could manage it; they found each other as the only ones they could confide in with anything and everything. The only ones who could make all of life and the world seem completely fine, as long as they were there. The two teens would spend entire nights just being together, often losing much sleep and being exhausted for most of the day after, but it was worth it just to see each other again.
On this particular night, Skylar was perplexed. There were no lights in the cabin, like there usually was whenever Auburn was there waiting for him. He called her name from outside, waiting to see if she would turn on the light or open the door, but received no answer. He went inside and called for her again, thinking maybe she was asleep within, to no avail. Skylar went outside and called her name one last time, louder than before.
"I'm up here," Auburn replied, calling from on high atop the cliff by the waterfall.
Skylar quickly flew up to the edge to meet her, sitting beside her. "How did you get all the way up here?"
"I followed a trail. It wasn't as dark out as it is now. I'm sorry it took me so long to answer you. I was looking at the stars, lost in my thoughts."
"... Oh..." Skylar looked off into the night sky, like Auburn was.
"It's especially beautiful from up here. We're so high up that it's even easier to see the stars than usual. And there's such a great view of Ponyville and everywhere else from so high above. I only wish I found this place sooner."
"... Yeah..."
It hadn't been the first night that they stargazed together. It was a habit Auburn had for the longest time, and she'd always take the first opportunity to spent at least a few minutes showing Skylar all the different constellations that she had memorized, sometimes even telling stories from old mythology about how they'd been formed.
"How is it that you're always able to find the brightest star? Even when the night is full of them, or there's almost no stars out?" Skylar asked her.
"I just keep looking until I find it. It's how I approach everything in life. I keep working or trying until I get something done. Even if it looks like it will take forever, or if it feels like it will never happen. That's... That's how I found my best friend. That's how I found you."
Skylar felt his heart leap. "I... I'm so moved to hear you feel that way... You're my best friend, too... You mean everything to me..."
Auburn, too, was touched, although this newly sparked joy was soon halted by a lingering fear that she'd had. "... Skylar... Do you have... Somepony special in your life?"
Skylar was confused. "Huh?"
"You know, like, a mare... A... A pegasus mare... Somepony that you're more than friends with..."
Skylar blinked. "No, I never have... Why, do you have somepony special?..."
"No! No, no, no, no! I never have either, just..." Auburn sighed. "Well, a lot of stallions said they'd want to be my special somepony, but I don't think it's a relationship they'd be interested in," she explained, rolling her eyes.
"Oh, that ," Skylar couldn't help but chuckle softly. "I promise you won't have to worry about that with me. I'm not very concerned about getting those pretentious sensations, nor would I ever take advantage of anypony to get them."
Auburn felt slightly disheartened, fearing this might mean he wasn't interested in her. "Oh... So, you've done it before?..."
Skylar looked to her, puzzled, then blushed. "Oh, of course not! It's just... I always figured it wasn't really worth it, so I never made a point of pursuing it. Not that I ever could get it anyway, but that doesn't bother me. It's just transitory significance, like a lot of things. You can hear a really beautiful song, or eat something really delicious, or anything like that, but then it's over, and gone, and it won't make a lasting difference in your life. It's a waste of time." The last few sentences were tinged with a hint of sadness and bitterness, perhaps disappointment.
Auburn shrugged wryly. "Well... Time you enjoyed wasting doesn't necessarily have to be time wasted..."
Skylar froze, blinking. "That's actually a valid point. For some things. I'm not saying that I think that it is, but, I know a lot of ponies would consider me spending time with you a waste, but, I don't think of it as a waste at all..." He looked at her again, quizzical. "Is there something you were wanting to ask me?"
Auburn could feel her blood pounding in her ears. It was a question she had wanted to ask him for several days, but couldn't work up the courage to speak. She indeed wanted Skylar to be her special somepony, and hoped that he would feel the same way about her. The mare opened her mouth to speak, trying to force the words out, unable to find her voice. In desperation, her eyes glanced at the skies, as if hoping they would have an answer for her -- and ironically, they did.
"What does it feel like to fly?"
Her pegasus friend was caught off guard. "Well... It's nice, I guess... Kind of like swimming, but, in air... I only do it when I absolutely have to, or when it's convenient... I'm not as good at it as some of the other ponies on the weather team, but, I've been practicing, and getting a little better, I guess..."
"Could you show me?"
Skylar momentarily turned away, bashful. "Well, alright, but I'm letting you know now that it's not the most graceful, so you might be disappointed -- "
"No," Auburn reaffirmed as she placed her hoof on his, staring into his eyes. "Show me what it feels like to fly."
The colt blushed. "I-I'm not sure it's the best idea... It's really dark outside, and you'd have to hold on really tight... I've never had to carry anypony while flying before, and I feel scared that I might drop you on accident and you'd get hurt..."
Auburn wrapped her foreleg around his, clasping their hooves together. She smiled reassuringly, her expression full of radiance. "You can do it. I believe in you."
"... You're sure?..."
"Absolutely."
Minutes later, Auburn was laying on Skylar's back, her limbs wrapped around his torso, careful not to get in the way of his wings. Skylar had taken this time to compose himself, having taken many deep breaths to focus in preparation, his hooves firmly planted a few yards from the cliff's edge. After getting a brisk running start, he leapt off, spreading his wings and starting to glide.
Auburn was immediately exhilarated with the sensations, having always imagined the feeling of floating through the air, never dreaming that it was this thrilling. As the passing wind flew through her mane, she hugged Skylar tighter. His wings began to steadily beat, gradually ascending them further and further. The colt went out of his way to circle over several nearby places they'd like to visit, giving her a nice view of them from above, occasionally managing to go higher between every few minutes of fairly level gliding.
Unbeknownst to Skylar, Auburn's eyes were glistening with boundless glee. Anypony with wings could have flown her somewhere, but this was Skylar, the pony whom her heart belonged to. The one pony who cared for her more than anypony else, who tended to her every need, who was now taking her for an unforgettable flight.
Soon, Skylar groaned in exhaustion. "I can't stay steady for much longer... We need to land... I'm going back to the cliff..."
Auburn was initially saddened, as the ride felt very short, but it was still the most exciting experience she ever had. As a silent thanks, she leaned her head further forward, reaching around Skylar's neck to give him a gentle kiss on the cheek.
Just then, Skylar was startled, and before they knew it, he soared higher into the night sky. To her disbelief, Auburn was getting a closer look at the stars than she ever thought possible. Her already peaked levels of excitement only grew, as the pegasus began to look for the constellations she would always point out to him, circling beneath them. If she didn't know any better, Auburn would have guessed they were at the sky's limit, just before space.
Invigorated, Skylar continued to thrill his best friend, doing several tricks, alternating in the speed and height of his flight, while always assuring her comfort and safety. It was almost as if they had become one. As he lowered himself closer to the forest, gliding steadily, Skylar looked back to Auburn, who was looking back at him. They were completely lost in each other's gaze, having never felt as close as they did right now.
Suddenly, Auburn noticed that Skylar was unaware that he was about to hit a tree branch. She gasped. "Look out!"
"Huh?" The pegasus returned his attention to what was in front of him, exclaiming in alarm as he narrowly avoided the branch. Several more were closing in fast, and he quickly maneuvered just past a majority of them, slightly losing control. Skylar yelped as one last branch hit him in the abdomen, throwing him off of his course. They began tumbling through the air, beginning to descend.
"Careful, you're going to fall!" Auburn yelled fearfully.
"Hold on as tight as you can!" The pegasus warned her. He strained himself to place them over somewhere safe, knowing they would go down regardless of what he did now. To his great fortune, Skylar frantically managed to glide just over the middle of the lake. He couldn't risk going any further, or they would surely crash -- it was now or never.
"Hold your breath!" he instructed Auburn, starting to dive down. They rapidly plummeted into the water, sinking down together. Even now, Skylar could feel the mare's rapid heartbeat pounding against him. As soon as he could, he swam back to the surface, coughing a few times and regaining his breath. He turned again to check on Auburn, moving so that they were facing each other instead of her holding onto his back, still keeping her above the surface in case she hadn't regained her bearings. After taking a few moments to get over the initial shock and fear of what had almost just happened, they felt the palpable thrill still rushing through them, laughing over how much fun they just had.
Auburn embraced Skylar, gazing into his eyes as they calmed down, amorous and wanting. Skylar noticed the heavy silence that suddenly embraced them, and his friend's bolstered joy to be so close to him.
"What is it?"
"Have you ever thought the reason you don't have a cutie mark is because there isn't one good enough to describe how wonderful you are?"
Skylar felt his heart leap into his throat. Auburn leaned closer, and kissed him.
The water was cold, and the night air was chilling, but they were perfectly warm together.
The couple had gotten out, dried off, and retreated to the security of the cabin. They were lying together in bed, holding each other. Skylar's head was resting on Auburn's chest, listening to her steady heartbeat. It was comforting him.
"Someday, I'd really like to build a home for ponies," Auburn mused.
Skylar looked up at her. "But I thought you already build homes?"
"Well, yeah, but I mean a home . Somewhere that ponies like us can go. Ponies who are special, or different, or need some kind of help or escape. Ponies that aren't accepted, or cast out by others. Just one big place, where they can all go. My dad is a good person, and I care about him a lot, but... I never feel like I'm home when I'm there in his house. But, here with you, in this cabin... I do."
"Someday, we can make a place like that. I'd want to help ponies like that, too... I do everything I can to already... But I'm just glad that at least I have you."
Auburn had fallen asleep minutes later. Not long after, Skylar succumbed to rest as well, coaxed by the sound and feel of Auburn's heartbeat.
Five years later, Auburn and Skylar were still together, closer than ever, now in their early twenties. Not only were they best friends, but lovers as well. Being young adults, they had more free time than they had before, and thus more opportunities to meet together. Skylar had less time, however, as he still had to stay back often to tend to his mother, whose needs increased with her age. Nonetheless, he and Auburn were inseparable. Their romance may have been a secret one, but it was one that would endure, through thick and thin. They began spending entire weekends at the cabin.
Yet, as careful as they would be, their strong affection for each other was impossible to completely contain even in public. Just noticing the way that they would smile at one another, or the glow that overcame them the next time they saw each other again, were enough to give other ponies ideas of the nature of their relationship. Ponies who disapproved.
Back in her room at her father's house, Auburn was painstakingly continuing progress on a project she'd been wanting to do for a long time. She was carefully painting the inside of a locket, a gift she'd been making for Skylar. She wanted to paint a picture of the two of them embracing within it. The mare had gotten so good at her usual tasks and chores that she would finish extremely early, and would spend this extra time on the locket while pretending to keep working. It had taken many days to find the pieces necessary to make it, and more still to put it together.
There was a knock at the door. Startled, Auburn hurried to hide the locket and it's materials, careful not to spill any paint on them. She answered, finding her father, August, waiting.
After a brief, awkward pause, he cleared his throat. "You know, I think it's a good idea if you spend a little bit more time at home. I miss when you were here more often. You've always been around to help build, and you do a better job of it than you ever have, but I want you around more as my daughter, not as my worker."
"I... I understand, Daddy. I just really like the fresh air, and getting out for walks, and, it just means a lot to me to get enough of that every day, you know?"
August nodded, his eyes veering away, trying to figure out how to word his next phrase. "I've seen, um... There's this... This gray pegasus keeps on passing by the house... It's happened quite a few times... I think he stops to look, like to check if anypony's home... He hasn't been giving you any trouble, has he?"
Auburn blushed. "Oh, no, no, he hasn't. He's actually really nice. I-I-I've talked to him a couple of times. He won't be any trouble, I promise."
August appeared slightly flustered. It was getting harder for him to say what was on his mind. "I mean... I've seen him... Coming by..."
Auburn started to understand her father's tone. Her heart sank. "Daddy... It's not like that..."
"Then what is it like, then? I've seen the way he acts around you. The way he treats you. That's... That's way too personal for a stallion like that to --"
"Daddy, please ..." Auburn was choking back on sobs. "This... This is really important to me..."
"I don't want to see any more of this," August stated firmly. "I'm not going to have it in this house."
His daughter couldn't find a way to respond. She was only trying to not completely break down.
"Auburn, look. I'm your father. I care about you. I just want you to be happy. I'm fine with you being friends with whoever you want, but this... You have to stick with your own kind. That's just the way things are."
"Coming, Mother."
Skylar trotted into his mother's bedroom and placed the bowl of soup on her nightstand.
"Where have you been lately?" April asked.
Her son blushed. "Busy, Mother. The weather team keeps me overtime because of my shortcomings. I told you that. You know that."
"Are you sure it's not because you've been seeing that earth pony again? You two aren't serious, are you?"
The colt didn't respond, wordlessly continuing about his chores.
"She doesn't make a lot of money. You know that. How are you two ever going to be able to support yourselves if you both make minimum wage? You know what people are going to say if they see a pegasus and an earth pony together. I don't mind it, but you could get into a lot of trouble!"
"Mother, she's really nice," Skylar sighed, irritated and hurt.
"I'm not saying she isn't! I'm just worried about you. I don't want to see you get hurt. I want you to find the right girl. Somepony who can give you everything you need, for all your life. I'm sorry, son, but she just isn't the one."
The colt stopped. "How is it that you know about me and Auburn, anyways?"
Another pause, this time from April. "I... I knew somepony that it happened to... She was with a stallion outside of her own kind..." Skylar was oblivious to the fact that his mother was referring to her own self. "She got in a lot of trouble... And so did he... Son... I don't disapprove... But I fear that if you keep this going, and other ponies find out, that girl is going to be the death of you."
As soon as they'd gotten the chance, Skylar and Auburn reunited at the cabin. They told each other about their respective parents discovering their relationship, and how they had been warned away from each other. But both lovers did not want to separate. Their bond was worth everything to them. More than everything.
The couple sat together silently, tears streaming down their faces.
After several minutes of just holding each other, Skylar broke the silence. "We're not horrible, are we?"
"No." Auburn's grip around Skylar tightened. "No, we're not."
Soon, they came up with a plan to run away together. Neither of them had been anywhere far beyond Ponyville, so they weren't sure where they would go, just that it would be somewhere far enough away that they wouldn't be discovered. Then, they would finally build the home that Auburn always wanted to have, and live out the rest of their lives together in peace, welcoming weary travelers, drifters, and the misfortunate to stay with them for as long as they needed. They spent several weeks stocking up on food and supplies, preparing for everything that they could think of.
Auburn was spending what would be the last day at her father's house. She had finally finished painting the inside of the locket she'd been wanting to give to Skylar. It would be the perfect memento to signify the beginning of their freedom, the start of a life unmarred by prejudice or judgment. Her heart swelled with joy, seeing how her painting perfectly resembled the two of them. She had been so focused on all of her tasks involving Skylar that most of the world around her had been tuned out.
So much so that she was greatly confused when she left her room to notice that most of her father's tools were gone. Auburn began to search all around the house, going outside, and seeing that four stallions were by a large carriage containing most of her father's belongings. August turned to see her, relieved and startled simultaneously, and quickly approached her.
"We have to go, Auburn. We're out of money. We can't afford to live here anymore."
Auburn was shocked. "What?!? Wh-why didn't you tell me about this earlier?"
August sighed. "I've been trying to cut a deal with the mayor to let us stay -- do some commissions, improve aging establishments -- but he's not going to have any of it. Everypony in town already has a home, and nopony else is settling in. We're out of work. We're out of money. I could barely afford to pay these gentlemen and have enough left over to get us started in the next town. The mayor's going to jail us if we're here any longer because I can't pay for the mortgage. We have to go right now!"
"No!!!" Auburn exclaimed in protest. She darted back into the house, hurrying to gather her things, rushing out the other end towards the Everfree Forest. She could hear her father galloping far behind, calling after her.
As far as she was concerned, nothing was going to keep her away from Skylar. They were already so close to being free, and knew he was waiting for her at the cabin, where her father could not follow or find her.
'I'm sorry, Dad, but this is my life, and it's time for me to live it.'
Her lungs burned, and her hooves and legs ached. Auburn ran like her life depended on it. Her life did depend on it -- the life she wanted to live. She was getting closer to the signs she had memorized, darting through shortcuts this way and that, invigorated through her sheer will. Just when the cabin was barely within view out the corner of her eye, something knocked her down, hard. Auburn thought she'd ran into a tree, until she looked up to see the four stallions her father had hired.
She hurriedly scrambled to her hooves, trying to get around them, but they soon surrounded her from a few yards away in each direction, quickly blocking any escapes whenever she tried them. They all retrieved lassos from their saddles.
"Be careful! The boss will be angry if his daughter gets hurt!" One of them exclaimed.
Auburn jumped, darted, struggled, and tackled, but soon found herself immobilized, each of her limbs ensnared in a separate lasso. She growled furiously as she continued to fight, trying to break free, only to accidentally strike her head on a nearby rock, her vision becoming dazed and blurred.
"Aw, no, she's going to pass out. How're we going to explain this to her dad?"
When Auburn regained consciousness, she was sitting next to August in the already traveling carriage, completely bound in rope. She was entirely unharmed, except for the uncomfortable tightness of her binds, and a dull headache. Her father's glare burned into her.
"Do you have any idea how much more they charged me for all your stupid trouble? We're going to starve for two months thanks to you!"
Auburn was too angry to reply at first. August could have told her about this move in advance. For all she knew, he probably hid it from her on purpose in hopes that she wouldn't take off with Skylar.
"You could have at least told me a few days before. I had friends there. I couldn't give Ponyville a proper goodbye."
"There's more to life than boys," her father snidely retorted. "You'll have plenty of time later on to do that. To find somepony dependable. Somepony respectable. Somepony who --"
"Somepony who isn't a pegasus?"
August fell completely silent.
They didn't speak to each other again for the rest of the trip.
'We spent two weeks getting all the way to a town in an Old Western settlement, Thrown Shoe. It was so far away from Ponyville that I wouldn't be able to run away and go back there without starving to death. I'd have to save up to hire my own carriage and trip's worth of food and supplies, and that wouldn't be for a long time. To pour salt in the wound, my dad made a severe cut to my pay; he got eighty percent of our work's earnings, and I'd get twenty. Our first two months there, we lived off of the food I'd packed for my trip with Skylar.
'I thought about him all the time, every day. I remembered his sweet smile and laughter, how warm and soft his fur felt, and the way that he'd always find a way to make everything alright. I missed him a lot. Every night, I would find the brightest star in the sky, and talk to it like it was him, and he could hear me. I apologized for what happened, and hoped he could understand and forgive me. I hoped that he would still be there, waiting for me, and one day I could find him again, and we'd stay together. I'd look at that locket I made for him, and think of how what should have been the best day of my life turned into the worst one.
'But don't get me wrong. My Daddy was always a good person. He just didn't know any better, which is why he was so intolerant. He thought it was some silly phase I was going to get over, but years later I still missed Skylar just as much, and wouldn't be with anypony else. Daddy eventually apologized, and got over the judgmental ways he'd been taught as a child. He didn't disapprove anymore, he was just scared of what other ponies would say, think, or do if they saw me and Skylar together. But it was too late to fix anything. I was still hurt, and we were still poor. I couldn't even find it in my heart to forgive him until after he passed away.
'The last thing he told me was, "Do whatever makes you happy". So, I did. I kept working and saving up until I could afford to return to Ponyville and find Skylar again. It had been fifteen years since I left, and Ponyville didn't change all that much. But when I got there, I found out Skylar was dead. He killed himself in our lake, by our cabin. I felt so guilty, and couldn't forgive myself. I... I still can't. They all said so many mean things about him, just like when he was alive. They called him weak, and a coward. They... They didn't know Skylar the way I did. Nopony did. Not even in death could he find peace, or respect.
'I thought that my heart couldn't break any further before then, but, I was wrong. I spent a few more days there, staying in the cabin, but, it just wasn't the same. It hurt too much. A couple times, I even thought of joining Skylar down there in that lake... But I knew he wouldn't want that for me. He'd want me to try to live happily, too. I just couldn't bear it anymore. So, the next morning, I got back on that carriage and headed back to Thrown Shoe, where I built and opened up an Inn.
'Thrown Shoe soon became a really big place to go. A lot of travelers, so, business was always good, and I was always well off, money-wise. But there was still a hole in my heart. I'd see happily married couples with children come in to stay for a few nights, and it made me think of the kind of things I could've had with Skylar if only he hadn't... Gone away. Eventually, I got to know some of the other mares in town, and make friends with them. They'd come in to see me a lot, sometimes even old friends from Ponyville who'd come to stay. It got to the point where any day, I thought I could expect to see Daddy and Skylar walk in. But, of course, that could never happen, because they were gone...
'I still got to make some nice new memories, and was content at best, but never became romantically involved. It irked all of my friends. They would always urge me to move on, sometimes even try to set me up with somepony. But it could just never be the same. I couldn't forget Skylar. I didn't want to, any ways. I got really old and frail. I was so sick that I was stuck in a bed, day and night. I had to hand the Inn down to my younger friends, and spent the rest of my life in that bed, wishing that Skylar was right next to me.
'When I finally passed, I couldn't reach Skylar, but I did find Vesper. He explained everything that happened to me, and why we couldn't be together yet. He also told me what went on for the rest of Skylar's life, while he was still waiting for me before killing himself...'
Skylar returned to the cliff he'd sat at with Auburn the first night he took her flying. Again, he found the brightest star in the night sky, as Auburn would always point out to him.
"Um... Hi, again. It's... It's been seven years since you disappeared. I still miss you, a lot. I always have. I... I always figured that I probably wasn't good enough for you. I'm really sorry about that. I can't really blame you for it. I wish I could have been better for you. But, wherever you are, I hope that you're alright, and that you're happy. Maybe you found somepony better than me. At least, then, you would have somepony. I... I don't want to be with anypony else, but I've accepted that I can't be with you anymore, no matter how much I want to. Because you're gone.
"It's been really hard for me to try to get on with my life. Things just aren't the same without you. I used to be able to ignore or forget whenever somepony would bully me. I used to be able to have you to turn to at the end of the day. You, who accepted me unconditionally, and showered me with endless care. You're so great, and I wish to Hell that you would've stayed. But, it's your life, not mine. You get to do with it what you want to, even if it means not having me in it at all. I've accepted that. But, even if you don't want me in your life anymore... I can't seem to get you out of mine. I don't want to, either.
"Looking back, I guess it's better in some ways that we didn't go. It would've been really selfish of me to leave behind my mother, April. She's had nopony there to help her out but me, and she's always been good to me, too. I just wish that things got at least a little bit better since then. I mean, I've always tried my best to be a good person, to always do the right thing, and be nice to everypony... But, just look at me... I'm almost thirty years old, and I still work for the weather team. I'm better than I used to be, but, the captain still hates my guts. Well, the captain's son, now, but he's even meaner than his father was.
"I guess I just... Need to find something else to keep me going. There has to be something else. It would be so much easier if I could at least talk to you. You would always know what to do whenever I had a problem. I've tried to be like you, and keep going and trying with things, even if it looks like it will never happen. I've always tried to find the brightest star in the darkest sky, not just here, but in life. But whenever I see this star now... It seems less like things I want to eventually achieve, and more like things that always have and always will be out of my reach."
The next day, Skylar hardly spoke a word to anypony. He only talked to his mother whenever he would need to, helping her with everything she needed after getting off from work early. By the time she was ready for bed, the sun was still going to be out for a few hours. Skylar sat outside on his porch, pondering what he'd said to Auburn last night. Suddenly, he got an idea.
The next half hour would be spent flying around the Everfree Forest nearby town, looking for an empty clearing. Once he was satisfied with his location, Skylar got to work. He immediately started taking down trees, gathering lumber, and headed back into town with his savings to gather supplies.
For the next several months, Skylar would revisit the site of his project. He was building a house -- one even bigger than the cabin he and Auburn made together, or even bigger than most of the houses he'd seen in town. He got tired and pained frequently, but would always seem to see Auburn right there cheering him on, at least in his mind. It was like learning to build all over again. Once it was finished, an old feeling returned; that sensation of success swelling in his chest he once felt completing the cabin with his love.
April woke to the sunrise. She was surprised to find Skylar right there by her side, staring intently at her.
"My son, what is it? Is something wrong?"
"Mother... I'd... I'd like to talk to you." Skylar gently held her hoof. "I know I told you about when I almost ran away close to eight years ago. I know I apologized for it. I still feel really bad. I... I love you Mother, and I know you've always been a good parent, when I haven't always been the best son. I'd be bitter, and think you were holding me back, or smothering me, when I know that you can't help what happened to you, and the way that you are. I can only hope that I've made it up to you in trying to take care of you."
"Stop, please, my son. I must apologize, too. Yes, I am bedridden. Yes, I am disabled. But you're right, at least, partly. I may not be able to do everything I need to by myself, but, I could have been more lenient and less restrictive of you. I wasn't letting you live your own life. I know there comes a time that every parent must let their child go, and I... I never wanted to come to terms with that. I just missed out on so much in life after losing so much bodily use, right after you were born, and, I think I tried to get you to replace that for me. That wasn't right of me, trying to fill my needs at the expense of yours. If you'd like to go, I won't hold you back anymore."
"That's the thing, Mother. I do want to go. I do want to live a life of my own. But... I want you to come with me. I want you to help me."
Weeks later, Skylar looked off into the night, finding the brightest star, and thinking of his lost love.
"Auburn... I finally did it. I found what I needed in my life. Do you remember how we would talk about making a home for everypony who needed it? That's what I've done. I've opened up my own boarding home. Our own boarding home. Mother lives there with me, and she's helping me run it. I even quit my job with the weather team, so I could work on it all the time. Oh, I still have plenty of saved money left over to keep me going. We'll have everything that we need. You should see the way Mother tells stories to the children... It... It reminds me of how you used to tell me about the stories behind the constellations in the stars. It's so perfect... The only thing that it's missing is having you there with me.
"I've taken in many children who were like us. Less fortunate, or misunderstood, or mistreated. All of them had no parents. Some of them are particularly unlucky... Some of them are blind, or deaf. Some are amputees, or crippled, like Mother. But they're all very special. They all have so much life and love in their hearts. They're so curious about the world, and so happy when they play together. I just couldn't let them stay at those other homes in Ponyville. I've seen the way they treat the children -- it's not right at all. And other children would bully them or make fun of them. I wanted to make sure they had someplace they would really be cared about, and... I guess they found it in here.
"I was going to use the cabin by the lake to do this, but, it didn't feel right. That was our cabin. It's... Special... It just hurt too much to go back. It wouldn't be the same. I never thought this is how my life would turn out, but as I've learned for all my years, life rarely turns out how you expect it to, or want it to. I may not have fulfilled all of my dreams. I may not have a cutie mark, and I may not be respected by many in Ponyville for all my efforts. I may not have you with me. But this... This will be good enough."
Skylar and April had been running the boarding home for two years. The children were as happy as ever; it was almost as if none of them were unfortunate or disabled at all. Skylar had fallen asleep in his mother's room that night, talking with her until they were both too drowsy to continue. He rested on his knees, with his head on his mother's chest, soothed by the sound of her heartbeat. It reminded him of listening to Auburn's. He was able to keep himself silent, but couldn't stop the tears from flowing.
He had been particularly tired, working hard to get more supplies and food for the children the day before. So much so that it seemed nothing would stir him awake. Not even when a clap of thunder had struck one of the trees nearby. Skylar was oblivious to the fact that the home had caught fire. April was the first to wake, alarmed by the smell of smoke. The fire was beginning to spread rapidly. Panic-stricken, she started to shake Skylar.
"Skylar, wake up!!! Skylar!!!"
Skylar jolted to life, his nerves shocked with cold energy as he was shocked by his mother's terrified expression. He only just then realized his boarding home was burning down.
"The children, Skylar!!! Save the children!!!"
Immediately springing into action, Skylar obeyed his mother and swiftly sped from the room. Adrenaline seized his entire being as he galloped frantically through flaming debris, exclaiming in pain as some of it grazed or fell on him, giving him painful scrapes, bruises, and minor burns. He struggled to reach each of the children, some of whom had not yet awoken, pressured to be incredibly careful and to hurry at the same time. He carried as many of them at a time as he could, tightly holding some in his teeth and closely tucking others under his wing, trying to take them far enough outside to be safe and hurry back in to retrieve more. Skylar's heart sank as he noticed that some of them had been slightly injured as well.
Panic gripped his nerves, fearing for the death or further injury of any of the other fillies and colts. Unable to think or concentrate, the pegasus cursed his bodily limits, pushing himself to go faster or be stronger when he was already doing his best. A slight relief, too small to be noticed, would cross him whenever he noticed that the other children were still alive and relatively unharmed. Every crash and squeak of the perishing house would shoot a fresh jolt of fear and lament up his spine, trying to force himself not to imagine the situation getting worse.
After getting the last few children out of the fire, Skylar started to count them all, making sure he hadn't missed or forgotten any. His horrified, rapid pulse started to calm once he'd realized that they were all saved, and their injuries were nonlethal. The panic and desperation returned as he briefly froze at a sudden realization. April was still inside. Skylar forced his hooves to move once more, starting to return to the house. He stopped short, however, upon finding it was too late. The home had succumbed to the raging embers, collapsing in on itself, crashing down into a smoldering pile of ash and charred wood.
A single tear escaped Skylar's eye. "Mother ?..."
Met only with silence, he desperately galloped to where April's room was supposed to be.
'Please, don't be gone, Mother... You can't be gone...'
The bed was completely buried in burnt wood. The stagnant smell of a charred corpse filled the air.
'No, please, no! This can't be real!'
On the verge of breaking down, Skylar gingerly pushed away the debris that he wasn't too exhausted to lift, only for his fears to be confirmed. April was no more.
Skylar fell to his forelegs, cradling what little was left of his mother's head. He was unable to accept that somepony who had been there for him his whole life, who he'd always seen alive every day, had just died and vanished right before him.
"No, Mother... " he quietly sobbed, falling into despair.
Skylar was a broken stallion. It was his final night at the cliff, staring at the brightest star, talking to Auburn once more.
"It's all my fault. If only I'd had the boarding home at our cabin instead, where there was water nearby... But it hurt too much to remember it ... And all because of that, Mother is gone. She was old, and frail, and probably didn't have much time left, but... Burning up like that, slowly, and painfully... Nopony deserves to go like that. The mayor of Ponyville won't put me in jail, since I did manage to save the children, but some they won't allow me to see, and the others hate me. All I want is to just apologize to them. Everypony in town hates me, too. They blame me for recklessly endangering them. I couldn't have known that this would've happened, but... They're still right. They always have been. They've called me a failure all my life, and they're right.
"I've never gotten my cutie mark, I lost the only mare I ever loved, I failed the only jobs I could ever get, I put a bunch of disabled children in harm's way, and I killed my mother, who was nothing but kind to me. That sounds like the life of a failure. Since everypony in town hates me, including the children I tried to protect and raise, I figured I would do something right for once and put myself out of their misery. I... I think I'll drown myself right here in the lake, as soon as possible. It's the only thing I can think of that would match the pain my mother felt, burning alive. It should have been me burning down with that house, not her... I probably deserve to stay alive and suffer for as long as possible, but, that wouldn't be the right thing to do, when I only hurt everypony that I meet.
"I wouldn't be surprised if you hated me, too. That must be why you left all those years ago. Why you never said goodbye. Why you never came back to find me. But... All those times you said you loved me... All those times we shared together... All those times you said that whenever you did anything out of pain or anger, it wasn't about me... Don't you care about me? Can't you hear me? Please... If you do... Give me something... Anything... I just need to know... Are you there? Do you still love me, Auburn?..."
He waited, and received no answer.
He hung his head, sobbing. "I have nopony left anymore ..."
It had taken many hours, but Skylar finally found a boulder heavy enough to weigh him down in the lake. It took even more effort to push it all the way up to the top of the cliff, and tie it to him. The pegasus grunted as he continued to trudge uphill. He was breathless, exhausted, sweat matting his mane and coat, the merciless sun beaming down on him. He looked towards it somberly.
The day Skylar met Auburn, the radiant sun bathed Ponyville in warmth and brightness. The air was fresh and rich with blooming flowers, and there were hardly any clouds in the sky.
He finally made his way to the edge of the cliff, gazing down at the cool, pristine waterfall below, the raging rapids feeding it's alluring sight. He was almost ready.
Skylar quickly flew up to the edge to reach Auburn, sitting beside her. It hadn't been the first night that they stargazed together. It was a habit Auburn had for the longest time, and she'd always take the first opportunity to spent at least a few minutes showing Skylar all the different constellations that she had memorized, sometimes even telling stories from old mythology about how they'd been formed.
Skylar winced at the feel of the rope snugly tightened around him, encasing his wings, wrapping around his torso. He rested only long enough to regather enough energy to start pushing the boulder tied to the other end.
Whenever Skylar and Auburn were finished with another tiring, grueling session of physical labor, they would indulge in the cool, refreshing waters of the lake nearby. They would cleanse themselves, swim around, sometimes laugh as they splashed each other.
He felt his heart leap once it started to teeter and roll off the edge, carefully making sure to jump as soon as it began it's plummet, immediately dragged down with it's gargantuan weight.
As they flew for the first time, Auburn leaned her head further forward, reaching around Skylar's neck to give him a gentle kiss on the cheek. Just then, he was startled, and before they knew it, he soared higher into the night sky.
The boulder made a colossal splash, causing the river to rain onto the surrounding shores, pulling Skylar down with it into a watery abyss.
Skylar and Auburn rapidly plummeted into the water, sinking down together. As soon as he could, Skylar swam back to the surface. After taking a few moments to get over the initial shock and fear of what just happened, they felt the palpable thrill still rushing through them, laughing over how much fun they just had. Auburn leaned closer, and kissed him.
The stallion closed his eyes, listening as all audible noise of the world faded away, replaced with only the sound of his own heartbeat.
Skylar's head was resting on Auburn's chest, listening to her steady heartbeat. It was comforting him.
As he sank further and further into the unforgiving dark, Skylar stopped breathing. His lungs and esophagus began to fill. Hellish agony permeated every cell of his body. Blackness and silence closed in as the excruciating torment came to a head.
'I love you, Auburn. I wish to Hell you would've stayed.'
His heartbeat slowed to a stillness. He was gone.
"Before you go, there's one last thing I'd like to tell you," Auburn said to Fluttershy. "Every single day since my Daddy and I left Ponyville, I'd have the same dream every night, for the rest of my life. I'd be with Skylar, living in the cabin. We'd be swimming and playing in the lake, flying through the sky, and looking at the stars. Only, the dream wouldn't be exactly the same whenever I'd have it. It wasn't just when we were still young ponies in our twenties, before we were separated..."
Auburn started to choke back on her tears. "It was like it was... Right then and there... Like I never even left... Like he never even died. When I lived in Thrown Shoe in my thirties, I dreamt that he'd grown with me, and we'd already gotten married, and started that boarding home together. When my Daddy passed away, I dreamt that Skylar was there for me, helping me grieve and consoling me. When I returned to Ponyville, I dreamt he was there waiting for me, happy to see me again. When I ran that Inn, I dreamt he ran it with me. And when I was an old, bedridden mare, I dreamt that he grew old with me, staying by my side, holding my hoof and swearing he'd never let go."
Auburn wiped her tears away. "I... I liked to think that it was his way of calling out to me. That even beyond death, beyond consciousness and reality, he kept coming back to be with me again. Because we love each other so much that we won't stop, not even after the end of time and existence. When you see him again... Ask him if that was him. And please, show him kindness. He deserves so much more of it than what he was given in his life."
With that, Auburn retrieved the locket that she'd created for Skylar, and handed it to Fluttershy. She opened it up, looking at the painting inside, seeing the two doomed lovers in an immortalized embrace. Fluttershy, heartbroken by Auburn's story, nodded in confirmation.
"I will. I promise."
"Thank you for listening to my story. You have alleviated much of a great burden that I've felt for a very long time. Remind him of the truth... Remind him of the boarding home, the children, and his mother... Remind him of what happened to me... And you will set us all free."
Fluttershy nodded once more. She turned, and started to leave. She smiled, feeling inspired. She knew now what she had to do.
"Dreaming, I was only dreaming
I wake and I find you asleep
In the deep of my heart
Darling, I hope
That my dream never haunted you
My heart is telling you
How much I wanted you"
Sarah McLachlan's "Gloomy Sunday"
Fueled with motivation, Fluttershy wasted no time in making her way out of the cave, following the familiar beckoning sensation all the way back into the daylight. It was here that she returned to the cliff overseeing the waterfall, this entire area that had become so significant to her plight as of late. The pegasus briefly surveyed her surroundings from far above, noticing the cave, the waterfall, the lake, even the tree that she'd buried the Panacea Crystal next to. But these were none of the things she was looking for. Her next destination was off in another direction, closeby, but nowhere she'd actually visited yet.
Her wings steadily beat as she gently lowered herself back onto ground level, right next to the lake. Fluttershy tried to recall the pathways she had witnessed in her recent visions and dreams, cautiously navigating through the thick foliage and plethora of trees. Much had grown here since it was the way she last saw it, but a significant amount of change was to be expected when twelve hundred years had passed.
'I only hope that it's still here... It has to be... There's no place else this can work...'
After what felt like a half hour of combing through the thick forest and getting lost at least a dozen times, she found her goal at last. Fluttershy was astonished, and relieved, to find it was still standing. The same cabin that Auburn and Skylar built together and visited for their trysts. In spite of remaining intact, it had become adorned with many fallen leaves and vines, and the wood it was built from looked petrified with age. The pegasus was almost afraid that even touching it would cause the whole cabin to come crumbling down, but, she had to at least try.
After wrestling with hesitation for a long moment, Fluttershy gingerly laid her hoof on the doorknob and turned it, answered with a long creak as the cabin's inside was revealed to her. To her even further surprise, the house's interior seemed to never have aged at all. She assumed that the only reason it remained in such sturdy shape was due to magic, either from Vesper, Skylar, or both. The beckoning sensation strengthened as she set hoof inside, encouraging her suspicion. Once she closed the door behind her and explored further, Fluttershy was filled by a deep melancholy, both from her own emotional association with this place and from some sort of presence that lingered within it.
Everything she set her eyes on, she immediately recognized. The dining table where Skylar and Auburn ate their meals. The bed where they slept. Their trunk full of crafting supplies. Fluttershy felt her heart sank when she noticed a particular gathering of items in the corner of a room. It was everything that Skylar had packed to take with him when he was going to run away with Auburn.
'... He always left it here...'
By this time, Fluttershy checked over everything once more, as if waiting to find something. When she felt sure in her convictions, she started to speak.
"You can come out here, Vesper. Skylar isn't going to come in here. He doesn't want to look. It's too painful for him."
There was no answer. Nothing happened.
Fluttershy silently sighed to herself. "I promise I'm not upset with you. I just want to talk. I... I need you."
She waited as another long moment passed, until finally, violet smoke billowed into the room. It slowly formed into Vesper, who looked as somber and remorseful as ever.
"I'm sorry for everything that has happened, Fluttershy. You have every reason in the world to hate me. I've placed you, your friends, and everything you care about in danger. I was not able to do anything more for you than try to keep you out of Skylar's reach. I was foolish enough to think I could change from what I've always been -- to create happiness, instead of suffering -- but I've only been proven wrong, once again."
"But you are capable of creating happiness. You've done much good to help me, and improve my life. You lead me to the sands that enabled me to help all my friends in the first place. Don't you remember how you enthralled Pinkie Pie with your wonderful visions? Don't you remember how you made Rarity feel better by showing her that everypony did appreciate her after all? Don't you remember how you gave me the ability to feel exactly what others feel? You've protected me all this time, and guided me. I just couldn't see it before -- I'm sorry that I didn't. None of this would have been possible without you."
Vesper seemed unwilling to accept Fluttershy's compliments, although it was impossible for him to deny that what she said was true. "It's still not enough to fix everything."
Fluttershy slowly got closer to him. "But it doesn't have to be that way. No matter what Skylar says or does... You're still the best genie I've ever even heard of. Please, help me... I have one more wish to ask of you..."
Applejack opened the front door to Fluttershy's house. She was still trying to make sense of her recent visits from Fluttershy. First, the pegasus had seemingly stopped time with some pouch of sands when Applejack was just beginning a day of hard work. They had a long, emotional conversation that detailed her guilt and worries over Granny Smith and Apple Bloom, and made an arrangement for her to stay at her winged friend's house until everything cooled over. So when she not only returned, but stopped time again and asked to meet her at her cottage as soon as possible, the earth pony figured it was something very important.
As Applejack looked around for her friend, inspecting other parts of the house, she mulled over the reason for this sudden calling. She hoped that nothing bad happened to Fluttershy, and thought maybe it might have to do with her upcoming living arrangements. Once she trekked into the kitchen, Applejack exclaimed in surprise, finding that Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, and Twilight were there as well.
Applejack paused in bewilderment, then raised an eyebrow in suspicion. "Alright, what's this here about? Y'all ain't tryin' to stage some kinda Apple Cider Intervention, are ya? I know I get a little hyper on the stuff, but it ain't no cause for concern!"
Pinkie bounced from her seat. "Actually, your guess is as good as mine, Applejack! One minute, Fluttershy and I were in Sugarcube Corner, journeying across the vast Candy Constellations, and the next, POOF! It was all gone! I have no idea why she told us all to meet her here, and now we're waiting for her!"
Rainbow Dash shook her head, forelegs crossed. "I don't know what any of you are talking about! Fluttershy's been spending the last week with me and Scootaloo, flying around and stuff! It was... Weird... But, undeniably cool!"
Rarity was clinking her front hooves together, concerned. "Oh, I do hope she's all right... She came to us one by one, asking us all here individually. We had no idea that Fluttershy wasn't going to be the only one here waiting. What if she has some serious news to tell us all?"
Twilight was just staring at large bags of bird seed nearby, perplexed. "... How does she run out of it so fast? ..."
Just then, the front door opened, and each mare's attention was diverted to the source of the noise. Sure enough, Fluttershy stepped in, smiling warmly. "Thank you all for coming here, my friends. I have something I'd like to show you." She then diverted her eyes to the side towards nothing in particular, giving an approving nod.
'Go ahead, Vesper. Just like I asked.'
Since she first beheld the Panacea Crystal and its contents, Fluttershy had visited each of her friends, and took the time to console them over their latest woes. But that was only what they were recently concerned with. She wasn't sure if this would solve all of their problems, but, she hoped it would at least help with many of them.
Vesper had still chosen to remain unseen for now, but acted on Fluttershy's plan, just as she suggested. Within moments, he started to tap into the minds of each of her friends simultaneously. He closed his eyes, concentrating, wanting to put the utmost care into the process. The genie was accessing everything, including their thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and memories. Soon, he started to share each friend's minds with one another, practically uniting them, one of each set of thoughts in every pony. Vesper was careful to keep their personal secrets kept hidden from one another, wanting to respect their privacy. The five were astonished at the sudden rush of new knowledge that was flowing through them, giving a great amount of additional insight towards their companions. An emotional, overwhelming epiphany of ineffable impact overtook them all; they now literally completely understood each other.
The ponies were still and silent for a long moment, merely soaking everything in. Soon, there was a tremendous emotional outburst; they were each deeply touched by truly seeing and discovering how much they legitimately liked and cared about each other. They apologized for misunderstandings and unrealized transgressions, and forgave one another for the lingering damage their actions caused which was now undone. The five had always known that their longtime friendship had significant meaning and value, but never before had it been so clear, proved, and validated until now.
Fluttershy rejoiced, crying from sheer glee.
'I've finally done it. I've fixed everything with all my friends. They're so happy. I'm happy.'
At this point in time, Vesper became visible. He, too, was overjoyed with the results. The genie turned to Fluttershy, just as thankful towards her as she was towards him.
'I told you that you could create happiness. And now you have. More of it than I've ever imagined in my wildest dreams.'
Vesper was speechless. He looked to his hooves in disbelief. So many years he'd spent waiting for this day, thinking it would never come, and yet it finally had. The genie returned his attention to the pegasus, noticing that she craved to understand her friends just as much as they knew each other now. Ever grateful, he started to grant this next wish of hers. Fluttershy was promptly aware, closing her eyes as she took in the thoughts of all of her friends.
Suddenly, it stopped. Confused, she opened her eyes, startled by what she saw; her five pony friends were gazing at her in shock and sadness, mouths agape and tears in their eyes. Vesper himself looked just as troubled, suddenly experiencing a full return of his regret and guilt.
Panic raced through Fluttershy. 'What just happened? They can see my thoughts too, right? B-but I love all of them! I care about all of them! I have no bad thoughts towards them! I did all of this for them! Can't they see? O-or do they not like me anymore, because they saw my thoughts? What is it? What is it?!?'
"What's wrong?" She asked, her voice shaky.
Applejack was the first to speak up. "Sugarcube... None of us knew you wanted to kill yourself..."
Fluttershy's heart sank. 'No... No! NO!!!'
Twilight's voice quivered. "You were looking out for all of us, but, none of us were looking out for you..."
Fluttershy clenched her teeth out of stress, reaching for the pouch of sands with her hoof, but Twilight's magic levitated it out of her reach, setting it on the other side of the room.
Rainbow Dash clasped her front hooves together. "Please, Fluttershy, let us help you... We don't want you to go..."
Pinkie sniffled, having become a mess of tears. "N-nothing would be the same without you!"
Rarity shook her head. "We're so sorry we didn't know! We had no idea you were hurting so badly!"
Fluttershy whimpered, crushed under the waves of guilt and lament. "G-girls, please! I-it's not like that... I-I'm fine..."
Twilight walked closer. "You don't have to hide it anymore, Fluttershy. We're here to help you. We always have been. We're going to fix this, okay?"
Fluttershy trembled, looking between each of the distraught ponies. She couldn't handle what was going on right now. Out of everything she'd left unspoken, her steadily growing suicidal ideations were the one thing she always wanted to keep hidden. At that point in time, she glanced out the nearby window, noticing a high tree branch.
She gasped, exclaiming, "ANGEL, GET DOWN FROM THERE!!!"
Startled, the other five immediately turned their attention to the window. Fluttershy dove as fast as she possibly could for the sands, freezing time once more with none of the other ponies remaining mobile for the moment. Angel wasn't actually in any danger, or even outside -- it was just the first thing she could think of to say. Fluttershy took a short while to catch her breath and try to calm down, then rewound time to just before Vesper started to share her memories with the five. She felt bad about hiding something that seemed very important to them, but didn't want to go through the emotional turmoil that it brought, especially the part where they suffered for it.
The pegasus wiped away her tears, doing her best to compose herself, and then unfroze time. She did her best to smile, somewhat forcefully. Her friends were still then-distracted by the intense range of emotions they were experiencing from gaining complete empathy for one another.
"My friends, thank you for coming here, for this... I'd love to stay and talk more, but I'm very busy with something, I have to go..."
With that, she hurriedly galloped out of the house, freezing time so that no one could follow.
Next, Fluttershy returned to the cave. She had dug the Panacea Crystal out of the spot she hid it at, and was now clasping it between her front hooves. By now, it had started to mildly glow, providing her with a convenient source of light in venturing through the dark depths. The pegasus had stopped short of the first big cliff she'd found inside, noticing water and sharp rocks deep below. Dropping it down there would surely destroy it, where no one else could reach it. Fluttershy was nearly ready to let it go, and stopped, thinking of the other ideas she'd gotten before.
There were more sands inside the Crystal itself. She wasn't sure if the amount she'd held in the pouch all this time were enough to take her that far back, but, surely the entire Crystal's worth should be able to go twelve hundred years into the past. There was still a chance that maybe she could do this to reunite Skylar and Auburn. Or, so she thought, anyhow. There was no way to be sure. What if it would be a mistake? What if the very act of bending time that much could somehow irreparably destroy it? There was no one she could rely on, or ask. The frustration pained Fluttershy, but not as much as the guilt and sympathy she felt.
'I'm sorry, Skylar. I tried to help everypony, but I can't help you. I know you wouldn't want to do all that you've been trying to if you weren't hurting so badly. Just... I hope this gives you peace, somehow.'
She closed her eyes, her hooves shaking, trying to release the artifact.
Just then, the grating, soul-rending voice chilled her blood. "It's too late, Fluttershy. Your time has come."
The pegasus didn't want to turn around, but knew that she had to. By the cave's entrance several yards away was Skylar, once again covered in black flame, with piercing red eyes. But what shocked her the most was that Vesper, Twilight, Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash were behind him.
'I-It isn't a nightmare this time!!! This is REAL!!! He can hurt my friends!!!'
"Th-this can't be right! You can't be here! I've been leaving the Crystal alone for so long!"
"You pompous fool," Skylar snarled, "You brought me closer to here by spending time with the Crystal... And everything in it. "
Fluttershy looked down in horror.
'THE SANDS!!! THEY'VE BEEN HERE WITH ME EVER SINCE I FOUND IT, THIS WHOLE TIME!!!'
The pegasus instinctively reached for the sands, but before she could touch the pouch, the string at its ends burned off. The pouch fell to the ground, surrounded in black flames, quickly whittling away. Fluttershy hurriedly crouched down, trying to salvage the time sands, but they were completely gone. Next, she reached for the Panacea Crystal itself, but it disappeared in a flash of light, reappearing next to Skylar.
Fluttershy looked back to Vesper, who was racked with shame and self-hatred. Her five pony friends were trapped inside a field of magic generated from him. "I'm sorry, Fluttershy... He made me bring them here..."
Rainbow Dash glared at Skylar. "He said he was going to kill you if he didn't! The genie tried to get us to run away while he left to come protect you, but we insisted on coming! We won't leave your side! We won't let him kill you!"
"I am almost completely back into the world of the living," Skylar continued. "All I need now is for you to die. Surrender your life to me -- let me end your suffering -- or else I will kill all of your friends."
Fluttershy closed her eyes, filled with pressure. How was she going to solve this? The sands were destroyed. Vesper was helpless, under Skylar's control. Her friends were possibly about to die. She would have to make a decision quickly. However, guilt and regret swallowed her heart.
'I've maybe doomed all of Equestria, all because I just wanted to help my friends...'
Then, the 'emotional bleeding' sensation picked up on something more. Fluttershy started to remember Auburn's words.
'Remind him of the truth... Remind him of the boarding home, the children, and his mother... Remind him of what happened to me... And you will set us all free.'
She opened her eyes, staring into Skylar. Noticing the black flames he was coated in, she remembered what Vesper taught her in Twilight's library, and deduced that it must be the creature that overtook him.
'What neither of us had realized is that Skylar hadn't created a mere container with that spell. He created a sentient, living being. All it ever knew or experienced was the pain that Skylar passed on to it, and it grew with each time that Skylar would have hurt without it, which was constant, never ending.'
The pegasus concentrated on her mental efforts, trying to reach far inside with her ability of empathy.
"You're better than this, Skylar. You were caring. You would never hurt anypony, for any reason. Is all of this really what you want?"
"You're wrong. All I want now is to reintroduce to Equestria what it has forgotten. What it is slowly returning to. Better for it to die swiftly by my hooves than to suffer entire generations of torment."
"Then why haven't you killed me yet?"
Skylar froze. He was unable to answer.
Fluttershy slowly started to approach him. "When you died, ponies of your time judged you. They called you a bad person. There's nothing wrong with just wanting to end your suffering. You were in so much pain that it outweighed your methods of treating it, and you couldn't find any other way. They labeled you as weak, and cowardly, saying you just took an easy escape. But it takes all the strength, courage and willpower you have to directly defy the survival instinct and take your own life. If killing yourself was an easy escape from your problems, everypony would do it. It wouldn't be so hard to be honest about your feelings, with others and with yourself. It wouldn't be so hard to forgive others when they've hurt you, sometimes irreparably."
As she drew closer, Fluttershy retrieved the locket Auburn gave her. It flipped open, showing the painting of her and Skylar, locked in an amorous embrace. "It wouldn't be so hard to find the brightest star in the darkest sky."
Skylar still remained silent. He was staring intently at the locket.
"Auburn told me about what happened. She told me about how you were always kind and caring towards everypony else, even when they never treated you the same. How you opened up the boarding home with your mother, and took in orphaned and disabled children. She told me about the fire you saved the children from, but you couldn't save your mother, even though you tried. You lived a life that was full of doing good. If you didn't die so early, you could have done even more good. You can still do good, just by stopping all of this before you do something you'd regret. I know that you care."
Skylar was wordless. He responded only by hanging his head out of shame. Fluttershy's friends had originally been scared and angry towards him, but upon hearing this new information and seeing his reaction, they started to feel confused and saddened instead.
Skylar's mental barriers were lowering. Fluttershy was able to tap in more. She was surprised at her next discovery.
"Skylar... You... You had none of your magical powers while you were alive... Except for one... Auburn told me that she would dream of you every night, like you were right there, like you never even died... That was you subconsciously reaching out to her with your desires... You thought of her every night, the way she thought of you, and... She'd wanted to know that if that was you, calling out to her... You did that, didn't you?"
Then, in his normal, living voice, Skylar answered her.
"... I did."
Suddenly, the black flames slowly melted away, rising up and dissipating into the air. It had uncovered Skylar's true form, looking just as he did as a colt in his early twenties. Fluttershy gazed at him, relief washing over all of them now that he came through.
Vesper released Fluttershy's friends from their magical bonds. They started to relax, grateful that the danger had dissipated.
Skylar turned away from view, deeply ashamed. "I don't want to hurt anypony... I never wanted to... I'm sorry, to all of you... I'm so sorry..." He winced, deeply disgusted with himself, then forced himself to look at them again. "I know I can't take back or make up for what I've done. I haven't been caring, considerate, or generous towards any of you at all. Especially to you, and you," he noted to Vesper and Fluttershy. Skylar closed his eyes, falling to his forelegs. "I don't deserve any of your forgiveness, mercy, or pity... Whatever punishment you feel is appropriate, I promise to accept it..."
Fluttershy cautiously walked closer to him. "You're... Truly sorry?..."
Skylar nodded. "Yes. Yes, I am."
The pegasus was able to pick up on his genuine sincerity with the 'emotional bleed' effect. She started to smile. "Good. I know you at least scared us all a little... You trapped and threatened my friends, hurt Vesper, and haunted me for a while... But, I know you never really wanted to... You stopped yourself from acting on it before something really, really horrible could happen... And you honestly regret it, you're truly sorry, and you're willing to make up for it... So... All's forgiven, as far as I'm concerned."
Shocked, Skylar opened his eyes, gazing at Fluttershy in bewilderment. "What?!? You... You really mean it?"
She nodded, paused, and then looked at her friends. It wasn't the first time Fluttershy and the other ponies had seen such a miraculous change in conscience, as seldom as it was; never had any of them expected the tyrannical Nightmare Moon to turn into the fair and thoughtful Luna, but it had happened nonetheless. And now Skylar had shed his bitter, tormented shell to become his truer, older self. They hesitated for a moment, and then gradually, silently expressed unanimous agreement.
Skylar trembled, simultaneously touched and heartbroken. It was as if he were experiencing a blissful dream that he knew was too good to be true, and dreaded the moment he'd inevitably have to wake up. He thought being forgiven would be all but impossible, and yet, it had just now happened, with little struggle. He shook his head, still in disbelief, shutting his eyes and covering his face.
"No, this isn't right... I shouldn't have this... I'm the worst pony that's ever lived... My entire life was one giant failure, just like my afterlife... And every part is all my fault... I've earned all of this pain..."
"That's not true," a soothing, gentle voice cooed from afar. Startled, everyone looked to the source of the sound. A warm, bright glow was starting to fill the cave, surrounding a figure that slowly came into view. It was Auburn. She started to approach Skylar, who was backing away in fear.
"N-no! It can't be you!"
"I don't mean to frighten you, my dear. Please, listen to me... I'm here for you now..." Auburn slowly closed in, and hugged her significant other. "I've missed you so much..."
Both of the lovers were inseparable in their embrace, tears flowing freely. Fluttershy was overwhelmed by the raw surge of emotions coming from both of them. Auburn had indeed missed Skylar more than she'd ever thought possible, and was relieved and overjoyed to be free from her bonds and reunited with the object of her affections. However, she was saddened by the pain still present in Skylar, wanting to wash it away and comfort him.
Skylar hadn't been ready to see her yet. He was overwhelmed with the guilt and shame he'd carried so long in ignoring her after his death, never accepting what happened to her until then. It had hurt too much to remember her, to think of her, and yet he couldn't help but always do it, wanting to make sure she would be all right.
"I never meant to do it, Auburn... I never meant to push you away..."
"Shh... It's okay... I've been hurting for a long time, yes. But, none of it is your fault. I promise. There's no way you could've known. I would've hurt the same way if our places were switched. I've loved you for more than a thousand years, Skylar, and I'm never going to stop."
Skylar squinted his eyes closed, squeezing out more tears. "I could have waited longer for you... I could have stayed alive for you... There's so much that I could have done for you, and I never did it..."
"You were hurting more than you could bear. I did, too, when I was without you. But, you've always cared about me, meant well for me, and loved me, Skylar. And countless ponies with countless carriages can never steal that away."
Skylar stopped, and started to smile. He was finally convinced that Auburn indeed still loved him, and began accepting that things were starting to get better. "I've missed you, too... And I really have always loved you, and cared about you... I always tried so much to be like you... To keep all the things about myself that you liked... To always help others, to care for them, and to treat them with kindness..."
Fluttershy smiled, beginning to approach them, holding out Auburn's locket. "Yes... That's why you deserve all of these..."
Skylar blinked, confused. "These?" Fluttershy lifted the necklace of the locket over Skylar's head, careful not to get caught on his horn as she placed it around his neck.
His horn.
Skylar's eyes veered upward, noticing the newfound horn on his forehead. He froze at a sudden realization, and turned his head to look behind him. Indeed, the cutie mark of a heart, for caring, was now on his flank.
Skylar silently gasped in shock. His heart leapt. "I can't believe it... I... I finally have it..." He slowly smiled, tears of joy glistening in his eyes. "After all this time... All these years... I have it..." He started to run and jump in circles, beginning to laugh happily. "AT LAST, I HAVE IT!!! "
Skylar dove back into Auburn's grasp, holding her tighter than ever. Auburn's grip tightened as well, exhilarated to see her love released from a cause of so much suffering over the course of his life. "Even if you hadn't gotten it, you're still the best colt I'll ever know."
However, after another long moment of embracing, she started to appear pained. "I love you, Skylar... But my time is almost over... I have to go now... But, I'll be there waiting for you, when you're ready to see me again, okay?... I'll always be thinking about you..."
Skylar nodded. "I love you too, Auburn... I'll see you again someday... I'll always think of you, too..."
Then, the two lovers had their first kiss in several years; it would be their last for several more. They continued to embrace, until Auburn slowly vanished, leaving Skylar alone with the rest. He then turned his attention to Vesper. The genie wasn't sure how to react at first, but started to calm down once he could tell that Skylar meant him no harm.
Skylar stopped before the genie, struggling to find words for a few moments, clearly still bothered by how much he'd hurt him in the past. Finally, he managed to smile. "It's about time I've shown you the gratitude you deserve... My friend..." With that, he and Vesper embraced, as well.
Fluttershy and her friends rejoiced. The crisis was over, and they now could rest.
Suddenly, a bloodcurdling screech rang from deep within the depths of the cave.
Everyone froze, terrified. Fluttershy and her friends turned to look at Skylar, only to find that he was just as scared and confused as they were.
Loud, heavy breathing echoed along the spacious cavern walls. Soon, the distant shadows opened a pair of piercing red eyes.
"I was so close..." it growled, "You... Ruined... EVERYTHING!!! "
Fluttershy felt her skin turn to ice.
'The creature that inhabited Skylar is still here... And now it's free...'
Skylar attempted to perform a spell with his newfound horn, but to his shock, nothing seemed to be happening. "The creature! I can't do anything to it! I-It must have taken most of my magic and power when it parted from me! Fluttershy, I'm so sorry!!! "
The new threat began to draw closer, taking the form of a giant, dark, transparent dragon. It roared with fury, setting it's sights on Fluttershy, whose legs quivered.
'If it kills me, it will completely be here, in the living world...'
The creature took a deep breath, then continuously shot a gargantuan stream of fire from it's mouth. Twilight immediately encased herself and everyone else within a magical shield, which was being magically fortified by Rarity, Vesper and Skylar. As the flaming attack pressed on, Twilight and Rarity held strong, while Vesper and Skylar looked close to fainting. The diverted embers made their way to the Panacea Crystal, scorching it into nothingness.
Twilight gritted her teeth in strain, glancing at each of her companions, then briefly surveyed what little surroundings were visible beyond the fire and shield. "Everypony, I have a plan! Listen carefully!"
Moments later, the creature stopped, needing to regain it's breath for the next assault. As soon as this happened, the magical shield opened, just long enough for everyone save for Twilight, Rarity and Vesper to leave it. The others ran as quickly as they could, in fear of their lives. Rarity and Twilight were beginning to tire, as well.
The creature paused, noticing Fluttershy was gone, and growled. "No!!! You let her get away!!!" It turned away to chase after her, but Vesper and the unicorns were now using their magic to hold the creature back.
Twilight looked beyond the large dragon at her friend. "Keep going, Fluttershy! Fly away as fast as you can!"
The frightened pegasus obeyed, taking to her wings and rocketing into the darkness of the cave. Although she could barely see, and her nerves were shot, the 'beckoning' sensation seemed to be guiding her to safety, helping her avoid dangerous obstacles.
Finally, Vesper and the unicorns exhausted their energy for the time being. The creature turned, furiously swiping at them, but they had managed to put the magic shield back up just long enough to protect them. Before it could break, the creature raced after Fluttershy, not wanting to lose her.
By now, Fluttershy had long since passed Applejack and Pinkie Pie, but the creature hadn't reached them yet. They were unseen from above, having made their way to the side of a humongous pillar on a rocky platform. The creature was nearing closer.
"Now, Pinkie Pie!!!" shouted Applejack.
Both earth ponies kicked the pillar from opposite ends with all the force they could muster, causing it to begin crumbling. They quickly galloped away and jumped further down to safety, hiding in pockets of shadow. The shattered pillar fell down, creating a large, uneven stone barrier blocking the creature's pathway to Fluttershy. It bought the pegasus some time, as the stalled, enraged creature, with all of it's strength, still took a long moment to demolish it's obstacle.
"YOU THINK THAT WITH ALL YOUR PRETENTIOUS 'PROBLEMS ', YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS HAVE EXPERIENCED 'PAIN '?!? YOU'VE NEVER KNOWN PAIN!!! EVERY SECOND OF MY EXISTENCE HAS BEEN PAIN!!! "
Fluttershy didn't dare look behind her, not wanting to lose track of where she was going. The creature was finally closing in on her. Before it could reach her, it was blinded by a bright flash of colors racing past it's eyes. Rainbow Dash was rapidly encircling it, creating a blurring rainbow cyclone that surrounded the creature's entire being, disorienting it. Soon, Skylar flew by, racing in front of it before turning to face it. He clenched his teeth as he forced a great amount of concentration on his newfound magic, encasing the creature in a transparent sphere. It constricted further and further, literally squeezing it in the blinding power of the rainbow.
This contained the creature's fury for another long moment, before it finally broke free once more. It swiped at it's two attackers, managing to knock them far away behind it, no longer unhindered by any other obstacles. Rainbow Dash was able to slow herself down to a safe speed, but couldn't fully stop before colliding with another pillar, stunning her temporarily. Skylar was merely sent a long length in the other direction, but eventually managed to press on and keep pursuing the creature.
The dragon released a large, spherical projectile of fire, just barely missing Fluttershy -- mostly. It had just managed to reach Fluttershy's wing, coating it in fire. Fluttershy gasped as she saw it, exclaiming in pain. The fire was spreading rapidly, burning the skin and feathers off her wing from top to bottom. Fluttershy tried to flap it faster, hoping this would extinguish it, but to no avail. The melting muscles strewn along bones were stretching, sizzling, and bursting. Her nerves were racked with pain, and her flying was becoming uneven.
The creature launched another ball of flames. Fluttershy's last good wing caught the bottom of the fireball, carrying her with it as it sped further into the darkness of the cave. This wing, too, was all but slowly and painfully seared down to bone before separating from the heat. Fluttershy was propelled forward, hurtling through the air as she gradually fell, turning over and over. She was gripped with agony and fear, the bony remains of her wings pointed upward, able to see the creature from far away. Suddenly, her fall was broken, landing on her back, quickly and excruciatingly grinding her wings down to jagged stubs, and sustaining rough scrapes along her back.
The ineffable pain was so intense that it had stolen Fluttershy's voice, even as she tried to scream. Her vision was blurred, unclear of what other injuries she may have sustained during the fall, wanting to hurry and get up so she could run to safety. She was positive her wings were now gone and useless, given the feel of discarded, charred bone crunching below her, oozing marrow that caked onto her back. As her focus slowly, but surely cleared, the pegasus began to inspect her body, checking to make sure she was in good enough shape to get up and continue on. She felt relief in the assurance that this would be the case from her findings. Fluttershy had sustained nasty scrapes and bruises all over the place, but all of it was only mildly scarring and non-lethal.
Then, she saw her hind legs.
One hoof was bent deeply inward, and the other was close to being pried off. Almost everything beyond that from her thighs down were mangled beyond recognition. Bones had split apart and torn outside through her bruised skin, covered in severed veins that were pouring crimson. She couldn't quite tell if her femoral arteries had been opened, but the steadily climbing amount of blood loss and nauseating excruciation seemed to suggest this. Fluttershy turned her head away, weeping quietly.
Suddenly, the loud echo of large, heavy wings beating caught her attention. Startled, she forced herself to become silent. The creature had lost track of Fluttershy, and was slowing down, trying to find her. The pegasus did her best to fight the panic still gripping her nerves, looking behind her to notice an opening in the wall. It was a small crevice just big enough to hide Fluttershy and keep her out of the dragon's reach. Biting her lip, she started to crawl backwards on her still-functioning forelegs, glancing back and forth from the dragon to the wall, reaching for safety. The chill of fear was growing colder.
'It's getting closer...'
As she glanced at the nearing, oblivious creature, Fluttershy noticed something in the corner of her eye. It was Skylar, catching up. He noticed what had happened to her, and saw how close the creature was.
"Stop!" Skylar beckoned. The creature turned to face him. "I'm the one who kept you trapped! I'm the one who hurt you all those years! It's me you want!"
The dragon paused, beginning to acknowledge the one who created it twelve hundred years ago. It's full attention was now on Skylar, furiously lashing out at him, blinded by rage. There were several near misses, with Skylar just barely managing to evade the swipes and lunges, trying to slow it down by luring it's swings into colliding with nearby walls.
With the dragon distracted, Fluttershy now had her window of opportunity to escape. She firmly planted her front hooves far behind her head, starting to crawl backwards. The crippled pegasus did her best to refrain from making noise, with faint, shuddering whimpers escaping her throat. The intense agony from her injuries was still eating away at her, hindering her progress as she dragged her broken legs. Her glances cycled from the crevice, the dragon, and her injuries, trying to gauge how close she was to safety, if at all.
Skylar was still doing his best to outfly the creature's reach, trying to both appeal to it and protect Fluttershy. "I never meant to hurt you at all! I had no idea that I was even doing it! I had no idea that you even existed! But that doesn't change that I still did it anyways, and that it was wrong!"
The injured pegasus continued to make her way closer to the wall, desperate to sink into the safety and seclusion of the crevice. The whole time, she was careful not to let anything else around her touch the injured areas atop her legs. While Fluttershy had mostly managed to avoid potential hindrances, her movements became frantic and hurried as she neared the crevice, so much so that she didn't notice her pried hoof snagging onto a nearby stone. With her next crawling pull, the hoof was peeled further back with a foul, moist crunch, sending a fresh jolt of advanced pain through Fluttershy's body. She couldn't contain the ear-splitting shriek of excruciation resulting from it.
This immediately caught the creature's attention, turning from Skylar to face Fluttershy. Without hesitation, it lunged for her, ready to take her life so it could completely exist in Equestria. Skylar exclaimed, just barely managing to encase the dragon in a magical restraint. It was clear that he was exerting all the effort he had to hold it back, clenching his teeth, his face twisted in strain. The dragon continued to fight back, thrashing against it's confines and screeching in protest. Fluttershy hurried to dislodge her broken hoof from the stone, and resumed crawling towards the crevice as quickly as possible.
The dragon pushed it's way closer towards her, freeing itself further with every moment. Skylar started to scream from the sheer pain involved in pushing his raw magic this far, blood beginning to trickle down from his nostrils and eyelids. Even with every ounce of his power being utilized, the dragon was still approaching Fluttershy, slowly, but surely. While still greatly slowed down, it's movements were still quicker than those of the injured pony, and it's longest, sharpened claw was reaching out, aiming to pierce Fluttershy's heart. The doomed pegasus closed her eyes, turning her head away, tears rolling down her cheeks.
"Goodbye, my friends ..." she whispered.
She braced herself for the claw's pierce, and felt nothing. Everything was silent. It was only moments later that she opened her eyes, confused to hear the dragon struggling.
Fluttershy looked up, and saw the dragon was fully restrained, this time by Vesper. He had grown to match the dragon's size, and was holding it's forelegs with his own from behind in a headlock. Skylar's magic had just run out; the colt fell down onto his side, beaten down by fatigue, barely conscious. Fluttershy looked at the genie's eyes.
'What about my other friends?'
'They are safe.'
Suddenly, Vesper's normally dark velvet hue began to steadily glow brighter and brighter. As the light intensified, the creature's groaning protests grew in volume, as if it were in pain or in fear, although the genie wasn't actually hurting it at all. Fluttershy had a grim thought.
'... And... And what about you?...'
Vesper returned Fluttershy's attention. He was silent for a moment, full of lament, and then replied.
'This is where we have to part ways, Fluttershy. The creature can't be held back any longer, and if it isn't vanquished, it will destroy everything and everyone you know and love. I... I can't erase it without going with it.'
Fluttershy's heart sank.
The creature continued to thrash and exclaim within Vesper's grasp. It reached out in refusal, wanting to continue it's rampage.
Fluttershy shook her head softly. "There's no more pain for you... You don't have to suffer anymore... You can rest now..."
The creature, beginning to understand, stopped resisting and succumbed to it's new fate.
Fluttershy nodded, "Yes, that's it... Farewell, and may Celestia forgive you, you sad, sad being..."
Vesper grimly nodded back at her. 'Goodbye, Fluttershy. Even though our time was far too brief, and full of pain, I'm still proud to have been your genie. I'm going to miss you.'
She smiled weakly. 'Thank you for everything you've done for me, Vesper. I'll never forget you.'
With that, the light of the genie's aura continued to brighten, until it culminated in a blinding flash, resulting in a radiant burst. As the darkness returned, both he and the dragon had completely vanished.
The pegasus rested her head back against the ground, releasing a deep, heavy sigh. She was full of a deep melancholy, as blue as the veins outlined along her pale, sickly skin. The sensation of lightheadedness had reached a peak for her now.
'This is really it. This is really the end.'
Groaning slightly, she tilted her head to the side, just enough to catch a view of a nearby pool of blood. In it's reflection, she saw her own face, dimmed to a ghoulish tint.
'I'm dying. I'm really dying.'
Fluttershy closed her eyes, resting her head back once more. She frowned, grimacing and wincing at the aching pain that continued to permeate every fiber of her being. Once she'd gotten past the awareness of how physically pained she was, her final thoughts began to creep in. They were just as unpleasant, if not more, than the grief caused from her injuries.
'I never got to say goodbye to everypony else. So many of my other friends in Ponyville... Spike, Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, Cheerilee... Angel, and the rest of my animals... I... I couldn't help them, or give them a proper farewell... I never got to talk to Granny Smith with Applejack, and have her move in with me... I never got to finish talking to Twilight, and explain everything that happened... And Vesper is gone... I've fallen short of so many things I wanted to do... Failed at so many things I've tried... Too many failures, disappointments, and heartbreak... Not enough peace, comfort, and joy...'
She wept silently, shuddering. The sense of abysmal despair was slowly eating away at her. An entire lifetime of never being able to reach her goals, no matter how hard she tried, was coming back all at once. The bad memories had always outweighed and outnumbered the good ones. Just as Fluttershy had feared, she was going to die the same way that she lived; incomplete, full of woes and regret.
From off in the distance, Fluttershy could see the large silhouettes of Twilight, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rarity and Rainbow Dash desperately searching for her. Even now, she was surprised to see just how much they cared about her. She never doubted that they had, but couldn't understand why they ever liked somepony like her.
Then finally, after reflecting further for a long moment, she smiled.
'But... I still did my best... And... I finally made them happy... Even if it was only for a few minutes, I got to make my best, closest friends completely and truly happy... Just once, I did it... Now they're closer than ever before, and I helped them get there... And Skylar... He finally found his peace, his cutie mark, and Auburn... And Vesper got to leave having done what he wanted... To create happiness... I... I made everything with all of them all right...'
Steadily, the despair gripping Fluttershy's chest was replaced with triumph. With tranquility, and release. With peace, comfort, and joy. The pegasus may not have completed everything she desired, but she was content with what she had managed to accomplish, which was the most important to her. She could find solace in knowing that she'd always lived being a good person, who would always do the right thing, and treat everyone around her with kindness, no matter how they treated her. A majestic relief graced Fluttershy in knowing that now, she, too, could finally rest.
"My friends, I love you all ..." she whispered.
The last sound she heard before the darkness closed in was Skylar screaming out her name.
"And I don't feel scared
I declare
I have everything I need
There's just me being hard on me
Box up my bones
I'm coming home
I'm free
Free"
Cynic's "Box Up My Bones"
Fluttershy woke to the sound of beeping. As the darkness faded away, she found that she was lying in a hospital bed. The first thing she saw was a nearby monitor, charting a graph of her heart rate. On a stand next to her bed were several cards and small gifts, trailing off to a box full of other wrapped presents. The pegasus assumed that they were sympathy cards and similar items, but as her vision cleared, she noticed something peculiar; these were too colorful to be such things. Once her focus had fully returned, Fluttershy was deeply bewildered. She looked at the date on a nearby calendar, which confirmed her suspicions.
'Today's my birthday.'
She began to stir, awakening further, startled at the deduction that she had been gone for an entire month. Sure enough, just in front of her bed were her five closest, best friends; Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, and Rarity. They looked heartbroken and euphoric at the same time, tears glistening in their reddened eyes, faces awash with relief to see her conscious and apparently safe.
"Oh, Fluttershy! We're so glad that you're alive! We were hoping we would get to see you today, especially with how important it is!" Twilight beamed.
"Yeah!" added Pinkie, who was jumping with joy. "Nopony should have to miss their own birthday!"
Fluttershy's ears lowered awkwardly, overwhelmed by mixed feelings. "I'm happy to see you too, my friends... I'm glad you're all okay... But... Could you tell me how you knew it was my birthday?"
Applejack spoke up. "When... When we saw what happened to you, we realized we didn't know when it was, so we asked Princess Celestia to find out and tell us..."
Rainbow Dash nodded. "You see, we weren't sure how many birthdays you would have left..."
They all steadily grew deeply saddened. "And that's the other thing..." Twilight noted as she approached her friend. "Fluttershy, I'm sorry to say this, especially today, but... The nature of the curses placed behind the creature's attacks... We were able to heal you to the point that you would live, but, there's only so much we could do... So, your wings are gone, and your hind legs are crippled... You'll have to be in a wheelchair for the rest of your life."
Everything went cold. Lightheadedness had seized Fluttershy, along with the loud sound of her own heartbeat drowning everything else out. She trembled, speechless, tears forming in her eyes.
'Never again. I'll never get to fly again. I'll never get to walk again. Life will never be the same.'
She buried her face in her pillow, trying to hide the fact she was bawling from her friends.
'Out of every birthday I've had over every year, all of them were horrible, but this one is the worst.'
Her friends were waiting in silence. "If... If you want to be left alone, we understand, Fluttershy," said Twilight.
Fluttershy took a few more moments to attempt to compose herself, faced her friends again, then slowly shook her head. "No, it's okay. You can stay. I'm really grateful that you came. I just... I knew something bad must've happened to me if I've been here this long."
Rarity started to approach her, looking even sadder than she did before. "I was going to make this for... A mutual friend of ours, but, he's not here anymore... I think that he'd like you to have it instead." Using the levitation magic in her horn, she withdrew a beautiful necklace entirety laced with crystals, in the distinct violet hue of Vesper.
Pinkie sniffled. "I'm going to miss his Candy Land..."
As it was placed around her neck, Fluttershy gazed at the new gift, remembering her lost ally. The genie had given her everything he had just to ensure the safety of her world and her friends. The pegasus wished she had gotten to spend more time with him, to try to make up for all the suffering they endured together, but at least they hadn't parted on bad terms.
'If only he could have gotten at least a proper 'thank you'...'
During the time she had been gone, much had happened in the lives of Fluttershy's friends. They had become closer than ever before, becoming truly inseparable. Part of it was through Fluttershy's wish that Vesper had granted, allowing them each to gain further insight as to their thoughts and feelings to one another, but they also united over the tragedy that maimed and almost killed Fluttershy. Additionally, Fluttershy discovered Vesper had also gifted them with the same ability he had given her, to pathologically detect 'emotional bleeding', allowing them to sense the exact feelings of others. This had assisted them in their further endeavors, making it easier to confront the various sources of turmoil in their lives. Fluttershy, who had previously been mystified at the circumstances of her own survival, assumed Vesper's magic must have somehow helped her heal as well.
Pinkie Pie had finally become assured that she had what she required to meet her emotional needs of recognition, appreciation, and importance. The rest of her friends, becoming aware of this, made a point to better express their gratitude to the devotion Pinkie contributed to their lives, admitting how much more enriched their day was with the distinct level of spontaneous fun and excitement that only the candy-loving pony could bring. Her employers and landlords, Mr. and Mrs. Cake, gave Pinkie a promotion at Sugarcube Corner, and began spending more time with her and treating her as a friend; she had practically become family with them after how long she'd cared for their young children, the Cake twins, and assisted in several of their endeavors.
Applejack was finally able to open up to Granny Smith about all of the hidden pain she had caused her, and why she avoided her so much in the past. Her grandmother responded in kind, becoming aware of the burdens she unknowingly or unintentionally placed on the hard-working mare, expressing apologies for them and pride for the kind of pony Applejack was today. She'd also gotten around to spending more time with Apple Bloom, and being able to do better to comfort and support her, truly living up to the sibling figure that she'd always wanted to be. Seeing how much the ordeal with Fluttershy had weighed on her, her brother Big Mac even arranged for her to take a vacation from working on the farm for a month, giving her the time she needed to bond with Apple Bloom and Granny Smith, and to visit Fluttershy.
Rainbow Dash visited Scootaloo much more often. Until Fluttershy had pointed it out to her, she'd never noticed how much of an impact that she had on the young filly. The time they had spent together up until now had validated the mare's long unfulfilled desire of complete and total acceptance, which was only reinforced by finally learning just how much her other friends truly appreciated her. The two now spent every single day carving out some time to practice flying, aiming to someday boost Scootaloo's ability to the point of matching Rainbow's aerial prowess. They would also read books together, and play with her pet turtle, Tank. Rainbow Dash had also completely smoothed over her disagreements with Applejack. The two mares had restored their friendship to it's optimum, with their games and sports ending in laughs instead of arguments, their days spent together ending on high notes instead of low ones.
Rarity had finally finished the dress she was making for Princess Luna. She was even able to present it to her on the Anniversary of Nightmare Moon. The Princess of the Night had been deeply moved by the gift that the unicorn had poured countless days of painstaking labor into, as well as discovering that on many nights she had greatly admired and appreciated the beautiful night sky Luna had long feared was completely ignored. Rarity even quit her business partnership with Photo Finish, concluding that while it was, for her, an unforgettable opportunity, she couldn't bear the loss of creative freedom and flexible timeframes. The extra time this gave Rarity was spent showing her sister Sweetie Belle more appreciation and affection.
Twilight Sparkle had taken the initiative to tell Princess Celestia about her concerns over their relationship. To her surprise, she found that the Sun Goddess missed Twilight as much as she missed her; so much so that she wanted to arrange for Twilight to move back to Canterlot. Of course, Twilight was used to staying with her friends in Ponyville by now, and was reluctant to go. This lead to the two agreeing to schedule for her to visit Canterlot at least once a week so that they could make up for lost time. In addition, the unicorn managed to reconcile the disagreements between herself and her assistant, Spike. Both had renewed the sense of comfort and belonging in their years of friendship, and Twilight was finally convinced that she truly did deserve Celestia's love and recognition after all.
In her absence, the five friends had taken turns visiting Fluttershy's house, looking after her animals and managing the regular ordeals that the pegasus would otherwise address. Applejack had volunteered to do this the most often, seeing as how she had the most experience with animals out of all of them, with managing her farm. They also regularly visited Fluttershy at the hospital, waiting, desperately wanting for her to awaken, only to have their desires fulfilled on her birthday. They spent the rest of the day with her, eating baked goods, opening presents, and talking. While the severe loss of her mobility still bothered Fluttershy to an understandably large degree, she was at least a little comforted to know that her friends were completely safe, and had now formed an unshakeable bond.
Understandably, it took a long time for Fluttershy to get used to her wheelchair. Even though she was now able to use it on her own, her friends would still volunteer to take her to places or help her move around the house with it. There were some tasks she could no longer completely do by herself that she used to do with ease, such as taking care of all of her animals. Melancholy tinged every minute of every hour; days and nights would blend together, to the point that Fluttershy was unsure what day in the week it was, or so lost in thought she would think it was the afternoon when the sun was down. All she knew was that it had been at least a month since she left the hospital. She spent even longer within the security and privacy of her cottage than she used to, which was quite often. Fluttershy was depressed, bewildered, and embittered; even though she did nothing but try to be kind and helpful to everyone, she still ended up unable to walk or fly ever again.
All the time, she wore the necklace Rarity made in memory of Vesper, daydreaming of what more they could have done together if he hadn't vanished. But the other questions lingering in the back of her mind were about Skylar. Fluttershy hadn't known what happened to him, or if he was safe. Nopony had even mentioned him ever since she woke, and she never worked up the courage to ask them about him. She figured that perhaps her friends had changed their minds and were angry at him once more, possibly blaming him for her permanent injuries. She secretly feared that he had taken his own life once more out of guilt, or that he was exiled from Ponyville, maybe all of Equestria.
It was a weekend, and Twilight was finished with all of her tasks. She came to Fluttershy days prior, offering to take her out on a walk on a beautiful, sunny day, stating Rainbow Dash had given her the Weather Team's forecast in advance. Even though the wingless pegasus had no desire to engage in the stroll, she didn't want to disappoint or discourage her friend, and thus accepted. As they left her cabin, the radiant sun bathed Ponyville in warmth and brightness. The air was fresh and rich with blooming flowers, and there were hardly any clouds in the sky. Birds sang a jovial melody, and children laughed as they played.
Fluttershy was deeply astonished at the strange sense of recognition she felt. 'There's something so... Oddly familiar about all of this...'
Her unicorn friend continued to take her for a leisurely stroll through the more vivid and beautiful sights of Ponyville, inquiring about how she was, and detailing her latest activities. They talked about how much her ties between Spike and Celestia had improved, and their mutual mourning for Vesper and for Fluttershy's mobility. The topics continued to drift along smoothly, with Fluttershy surprised at how relaxing the whole experience was, although the peculiar familiarity and her concerns over Skylar continued to gnaw away at her mind.
Finally, they came to an abrupt stop, by a large gathering of trees. Fluttershy looked at Twilight in confusion, alarmed to see that her friend was in tears.
"I'm sorry, Fluttershy. I know you may not want to do this, but, there's somepony who's been really wanting to talk to you. I'll... I'll give you a minute to be alone..."
With that, the unicorn hastily trotted off into the distance, getting behind a large collection of bushes. Fluttershy surveyed her surroundings, struck with bewilderment. She heard the rustle of grass yards away from her, ensnaring her attention. Sure enough, none other than Skylar emerged from behind one of the trees moments later.
Fluttershy gasped. "Your horn! Your cutie mark! They're gone!!! What happened to them?!?"
Skylar's eyes veered away sheepishly. "W-well... You see... When we were there in the cave, with the dragon, and everything, you were bleeding to death. I had to have Rarity and Twilight Sparkle help me do it, but, we just couldn't save you the way things were right then. The only way we were able to was for me to sacrifice all of my magic and power... And, also my cutie mark..."
Fluttershy shook her head slowly. "... But... You only got it just then... After all that suffering... All that time..."
Skylar nodded gently. "I know, I know, but... I probably don't deserve it anyways, after everything that happened..."
"But you didn't mean to make anything bad happen. It wasn't even you, it was that... That thing..."
"Yes, that creature that I created... But... I guess you're right. I didn't mean to make anything bad happen, but, it still happened any ways. Either way, my cutie mark still isn't as important as your life , Fluttershy. I was a complete stranger, and yet you gave almost everything you had just to help me. You did it out of kindness, and because you cared... It reminded me of how I wanted to be... How I used to be... I... I figured it was only fair for me to do the same for you. Besides, I don't need a cutie mark to know how much I care." Skylar retrieved the open locket that Auburn had made for him, staring inside at their picture. "All I needed was a reminder."
As he lowered his love's keepsake, he caught a glimpse of Fluttershy's necklace. He paused, frowning, and sighed. "... I miss him..."
Fluttershy looked down at it once more, realizing that it reminded Skylar of Vesper as well. "So do I..." She looked back to Skylar. "Even after you -- I-I mean, even with everything that happened... He never thought bad of you at all..."
Skylar nodded once more, closing his eyes. "I know. And I should have treated him better. He tried so hard for so long, just to help me, and I kept pushing him away. Vesper was always a great person. So many centuries and more, he gave his all just to improve the lives of ponies like us. But, he was suffering for such a long time. He was ready to go. It's what he wanted. Him, and... The other one..."
Fluttershy gazed at her necklace. "And he left having done what he wanted to... To create happiness..." After a moment of reflecting, she looked back to Skylar, curious and somber. "Skylar... I know that you've probably been hurting a lot in all, uh... Three of your lives... Were you... Planning on staying here, with us, or were you going to leave again? I-I wouldn't blame you if you decided not to... After everything you've been through..."
At this, Skylar paused. "Well... I probably would have, but, I don't think that it would be fair to Auburn. She lived out the rest of her natural life after I was gone. Maybe it's time for me to pick up where I left off. I know she misses me, like I miss her, but, I think she'd want me to experience the joys only the living world can offer, like the way I wanted her to. It's only for another sixty years or so anyways, which isn't that long when you've lived for as long as I have."
Fluttershy experienced an epiphany. 'If Skylar, who's so similar to me in so many ways, can continue on in life even after everything he's been through... Could I maybe do that, too?' She tilted her head to the side. "Where have you been staying all this time, anyways?"
Skylar shrugged. "Back in Au -- err, our old cabin. After everything that happened... Well... I wasn't sure if you'd ever want to see me again, and I needed a lot of time to myself to think and reflect, anyhow. But, there's another reason I wanted to come here and talk to you today..."
Fluttershy blinked, surprised. "Okay?..."
Skylar started to get closer, looking nervous, tapping his forehooves together. "Alright, so... I understand if you can never forgive me for what happened to you. But, I feel really, really awful about it, and I figured I could at least try to make it up to you somehow, if you'd be okay with that. And, as you've learned, I've had a lot of experience looking after the disabled and infirm... So, I'm offering to become your personal caretaker, if you'll allow me to." He attempted to smile reassuringly.
Fluttershy beamed, feeling full of warmth as she smiled back at him. "Skylar... I already forgave you for what happened... And I would be delighted to have you as my caretaker... But... Could you please also be my friend?"
Several weeks later, Skylar had practically moved in with Fluttershy. He assisted her with everything that she needed, and successfully emigrated into modern Ponyville. Apparently, Vesper graced the colt with one final gift as well before going. Skylar and Auburn were able to be together again in Skylar's dreams, where they could wait until Skylar would eventually pass again. Then, they could be reunited in their own personal, secluded purgatory. Aside from that, he and Fluttershy formed a close friendship, and within time he befriended her other allies as well. In spite of everything that happened to her, Fluttershy started to regain some sense of joy and contentment. Life was becoming pleasant again.
Dusk had begun to set in. Twilight was pushing Fluttershy's wheelchair to an area that their friends normally met once a week to play together. Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie were already there, waiting for them.
"That was a beautiful sunset that we got to see earlier," Fluttershy chimed.
Twilight agreed. "Indeed it was! I'm really glad we decided to have this picnic tonight. It's been way too long since we've had one. They're always so much fun!"
"Oh, yes! I just know that Applejack and Pinkie Pie brought delicious meals!"
Twilight chuckled. "As always." She waved to the rest of their friends, who waved back. The unicorn squinted her eyes, noticing something. "Hmm... Guess Rarity's not here yet. I hope she didn't forget the plates again."
Fluttershy looked up to her. "Maybe she's grabbing some at a store at the last minute? Or going back home to get them?"
Twilight paused, then nodded. "Yeah, maybe." She then remembered something else. "By the way, where's Skylar tonight again? It's a shame he couldn't come here, too. You said he was busy with some kind of errand, right?"
Fluttershy smiled to herself, remembering how Skylar enjoyed running his boarding home.
"Aww, come on, Rarity! You knew we were going to have a sleep over tonight! What if we need your help with something?"
"Apple Bloom and Scootaloo can still spend the night, Sweetie Belle. I already told you, there's a sitter on the way. You'll like him, he's very nice, just, give him a chance! I'm sorry for being so antsy with you, but I'm already running late for the picnic!"
The doorbell chimed, and Rarity beamed. "That must be him! Goodnight, girls! I'll see you tomorrow!" She rushed out as fast as she could, stopping for only a moment to give the mystery sitter all the basic information he needed. The Cutie Mark Crusaders curiously tried to get a glimpse of their temporary caretaker, but couldn't see him until he walked inside, and Rarity had already left.
He smiled warmly at them. "Hello, girls. My name's Skylar, and I'm going to be watching you tonight. Rarity told me your bed time is supposed to be in a few hours, but you can pretty much do whatever you like until then."
Apple Bloom gasped. "You're a blank flank?!? Just like us?!?
Skylar nodded. "That's right! I've gone my whole life without a cutie mark! And you want to know a secret? There's nothing wrong with that at all! All that means is that you're so wonderful in so many ways that your flank can't decide what it wants on it!"
The three fillies smiled, beaming with joy.
Skylar looked out of a nearby window for a moment, seeing the beauty of the radiant night sky. Within a moment, he already found the brightest star. His heart filled with warmth, remembering Auburn, and how even now she still waited for him. He returned his attention to the fillies.
"Now, who would like to hear a story?"
Skylar became the regular sitter for the Cutie Mark Crusaders, by their own unanimous request. Along with his kind, caring nature, they liked having a guardian figure who could empathize with their lament over having no cutie marks. The more often he visited to look after them, the less concerned they were over finding their cutie marks, instead more focused on getting the most they could out of life and their friendships. The revived pegasus also grew closer to Fluttershy's friends, becoming a full part of their social circle. With that, they all decided to set out and make amends with people that they'd been at odds with in the past, helping them the same way Fluttershy helped Skylar and the others.
Rainbow Dash's griffon friend, Gilda, was sorry for her rude and inconsiderate nature she exhibited while visiting her in Ponyville. She explained that she was anxious to be with Rainbow Dash again, having not seen her in a long time, which is why she was curt and unkind with Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy and the others. She was forgiven, and got to be with Rainbow once more.
The disgraced magician Trixie, who made outlandish performances and exaggerated her feats for the sheer entertainment of others, felt humiliated and discredited by Twilight. Her true intention all along was to provide an escape from painful reality to ponies everywhere, to make them forget for just a few minutes how harsh and cruel life could be. She and Twilight worked out their differences, and redeemed her act, reviving her career in the process.
Rarity was surprised to find that Prince Blueblood actually carried many similarities with herself. The hapless prince would often pretend to be shallow and conceited on purpose in an attempt to drive other ponies away; he was afraid to get close to anyone out of fear he would hurt them, or they would hurt him. In reality, he was very chivalrous, noble, and thoughtful, often making anonymous contributions to improve the lives of others. Rarity helped coax his true personality out of hiding, and take the first steps to forming meaningful relationships.
Diamond Tiara, the frequent bully of the Cutie Mark Crusaders, had a complicated relationship with her father, Filthy Rich. While he was a truly loving parent, he sometimes acted incorrectly in an attempt to support her. Only behind closed doors would he relentlessly chastise and criticize his daughter, expressing extreme disappointment with the simplicity of her cutie mark, and her progress in school. This created a cycle where the filly would sublimate the pain caused by her father's words by antagonizing Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo.
Filthy Rich, in turn, was stern with Diamond Tiara and held unreasonably high expectations for her to sublimate his own personal insecurities. Her friend, Silver Spoon, only assisted with her bullying to gain a sense of belonging. With the help of Fluttershy and the others, all three were counseled, their problems resolved, replacing their formerly negative dispositions with kindness.
The seven ponies were amazed at the success they had in helping all kinds of people, from the Flim Flam Brothers to the Diamond Dogs. As more and more ponies gained inner peace from their considerate assistance, Fluttershy and her friends decided that it was time to do the unthinkable; to try to help Discord. Even though they were reluctant and scared to do so at first, they released him from his stone prison. To their great surprise, they eventually got through to him, realizing that he was, at heart, a harmless prankster who merely wanted to have more fun. With Celestia's help, they found a secluded area outside of Ponyville, Canterlot and other regions where Discord was allowed to create an unpredictable paradise of never-ending exhilaration. His most frequent visitor was Pinkie Pie, who shared his enthusiasm for such excitement.
Contented, Fluttershy, Skylar and the others remained in Ponyville. There were still inevitable problems, and not everyone was happy all the time -- far from it, even. Not one day ever passed where Fluttershy wouldn't miss getting to walk or fly, and to do everything those activities would allow her to. Skylar still missed Auburn, wishing they could already be together forever, and continued to carry guilt over all the pain he had caused, even if it was unintentional. Both of them greatly missed Vesper, and wished they could have gotten to do more with him; to thank him for everything he gave them, and apologize for what they did to him. Life was still not perfect, but things in general greatly improved nonetheless.
"Dear Princess Celestia,
The experiences I've had over the last few months have taught me that life is similar to a roller coaster at a carnival. It can be very bright, fast, and fun, but also sometimes scary. And even if you get scared, in the end, everything will be okay, because that's all that it is; only a ride. It might not be possible to do everything that you want with your life, but that doesn't mean you can't have a fulfilling one. I don't know if people will ever live in a world where everyone always gets along, and everything is always alright. It might not ever happen in our lifetimes, or even far beyond that. Even so, that doesn't make it any less worth trying to attain nonetheless. Each of us, in our own, unique, special ways, expresses a constant craving for peace, civility, and contentment. We are all longing for harmony.
Your humbled friend, Fluttershy."
"Everything is clearer, now
Life is just a dream, you know,
It's never ending
We're ascending"
The End