Captain's Travels

So after a traumatic experience, for Twilight at least, the two bade Rarity fare well, and continued on their epic quest to introduce Captain to two more random ponies before sundown. Twilight had been leading towards the park so that they could take a break as, as Captain's bowlegged-ness wore off.

"S-so Captain how was it in there?"

"I don't want to talk about it." He said as tears began to well in the corners of his eyes.

"You wanna get some ice cream, and talk about it."

He said nothing, only nodded slowly.

"Here we are the park. Now you go have a sea... you know what what why don't you go wait for me over by the fountain. Oh and by the way which flavor of ice cream do you want?"

"Vanilla please."

Slowly the man hobbled over to the fountain, and saw three small ponies arguing on the other side. A unicorn,  a pegasus,  and an earth pony. The trio were involved in a deep philosophical debate discussing wether alligator wrestling or bear training were feasible options in earning their "Cutie Marks".

"I get what yer sayin' but where could we find a bear at this time uh day?" The yellow earth pony asked.

"Fluttershy's always got tons of animals hanging around her house she's bound to have a bear lying around somewhere." Countered the orange pegasus filly.

"Wait couldn't we just go and ponypile on Gummy, and see if that works? That seems a lot safer than trying to tame a wild bear. Don't 'cha think?" Advised the voice of reason, a white unicorn filly that seemed oddly familiar.

"Oh please we can't get our cutie marks doing something like that. Now quit being a chicken lets go tame us a bear." Retorted the pegasus.

"Who are you calling a chicken, bird brain?" Snapped the unicorn.

"Watch who you're calling a bird brain,  horn head."

"Oh yeah."

"Yeah."

"YEAH."

"YEAH."

"HEY WOULD. YOU TWO SHUT UP. THERE'S A 'THING' OVER THERE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FOUNTAIN." Shouted the yellow earth pony as she gestured a hoof towards Captain who was now enjoying the show.

Immediately the squabbling stopped as three pairs of eyes landed on captain.

"Dont mind me ladies, I'm simply enjoying the show keep acting as if I'm not even here."

"Cool." Was the unanimous decision as they witnessed the creature before them speak in Equestrian.

"What d' ya reckon it is gals." Asked the yellow filly.

"Maybe it's some sort of freaky space alien that crash landed here during the storm." Offered the pegasus.

"Eww he smells like he's rotting, so maybe he came from the other side." Suggested the unicorn.

"Maybe he's one of Twilight's crazy experiments that got loose or somethin'. You know like she crossed a hairless monkey with a turtle or somethin' like that." Insinuated the earth pony.

"You three do realize that I am literally five feet away from you, and can hear all of the things you're saying about me. Right?"

*GASP* "We could be cutie mark crusaders." They yelled in unison at Captain.

"UFO finders."

"Exorcists."

"Creature catchers."

"Wait a minute didn't we already try to be creature catchers?" Asked the orange one.

"And fail miserably at it." Added the white filly.

"Okay. I guess UFO finders sounds pretty neat. Lets try that." Amended the butter colored filly.

"Okay." Huffed the vanilla colored filly.

"Now attack the alien. Quickly!" Shouted the pegasus.

"Wait what? I'm a citizen I'll have you know." Said the man, as if it would make a difference.

Without a second thought the trio pounced on Captain. Soon he was assaulted by pokes, prods, and pulls in all directions. The multicolored blur that had attacked was beginning to gain ground, figuratively, and succeeded in knocking the man to the ground. The three were finally on top of the beast's chest, looking triumphant over their shared victory.

"So anything?" Asked the orange pegasus with glee.

With one fluid motion three flanks were raised into the air, as a pair of eyes met each one. Expectations crumbled, as they each drew a blank.

"Zip."

"Zilch."

"Nada."

The crestfallen trio now weighed on Captain like a lead brick.

"Look I'm really sorry that this assault of an innocent bystander didn't go exactly as planned, so would you three kindly GET THE HELL OFF OF ME." He was now livid as the three sat on his chest.

"We can't do that what if it turns out that you're dangerous. We could be putting all of Ponyville in jeopardy by lettin' you loose." The earth pony replied.

"Look kid it was cute for like the first five seconds, but now you're really starting to piss me off." Captain replied as his tone became more aggressive. The three still refused to budge. "Alright no more mister nice Captain," he snarled as he stood back up shaking the fillies loose. "Now leave before I lose my temper."

"No way, we can't just sit by as some crazy alien wrecks the town. CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS TOWN DEFENDERS GO!." The orange pegasus replied as she dusted herself off.

Again the group charged Captain, but this time he was ready. The first that charged him he lifted into the air, and gently tossed into his other hand. The next one led, as the first struggled to get free. The second was caught as well, now Captain juggled the two in between his hands, as the third snuck up from behind. A careful step around, and he kicked the third filly up to her friends with a small 'oof'. He was now engaged in balancing one filly in one hand another filly in the other hand,  as the third filly was still in the air, otherwise known as juggling.

"Now are you three done making me mad or do I have to drop you into the fountain."

"Never! Now... put...us...down." Shrieked the orange filly as she tumbled through the air.

"Hey put. Them. Down." Demanded a raspy voice from off in the distance.

"Yeah who's gonna make me?" Retorted Captain.

"Rainbow Dash. That's who." The unknown mare replied, as a pair of hooves slammed into the man's abdomen.

The trio hit the ground with a sort thud, and scurried in to the distance as Rainbow began her fight with the alien, demon, lab experiment.

"Who the fuck are you?" Asked Captain.

"What the prismatic mane, and speedy disposition not enough of a hint there numbnuts. I'm Rainbow Dash. Greatest flyer in Ponyville. "

"Come on Skittles you think you can take me down? Come at me bro."

"I'm not your bro," yelled Rainbow Dash as flared her wings, and pawed at the ground.

The two locked eyes, and began to slowly circle one another. Three fillies poked out from behind the tree they had been hiding behind, and immediately regretted it. The tension could have been cut with a knife, an almost electric feeling crackled in the air. The dueling pair were simply looking for an opening, a flag, a reason to charge. The unicorn filly, who had been standing next to the small pegasus felt her nose twitch as feathers brushed against her nose. Soon enough however came a sneeze that gave the fighters a reason.

Rainbow Dash closed the distance between the two in a flash, but Captain raised a foot and kicked the cerulean mare in the chest before she made contact. The momentum she had been carrying was not lost however as the man was sent tumbling back. Rainbow took a second to catch her breath before charging again. This time she broke left, and instead delivered a flurry of blows to Captain's ribs. The human had no time to rest before the mare tried again to assault his sides. As Rainbow turned to face him again, Captain caught her in the jaw with a right hook, and a slight crunch was shared between the two. Captain shook his hand, and Rainbow responded with a furious shaking of her head. This time it was Capitan who charged first leading with a shoulder. The prismatic mare firmly planted her forehooves, and ducked before flipping the man behind her. Captain ain't no bitch he took that hit like a man, on his back. Now the sailor rolled out of reach of the celeste mare attempting to stomp his skull in. Captain stood again, but not before the mare had knocked his glasses off in her stomping. Now as the world blurred around him the human only had an instant to brace himself, as he saw Rainbow race up to him, turn around, plant her hooves, and buck him square in the face. When the hindhooves of the mare made contact, Captain felt something in his head crunch a bit, and a second later he could feel warm metallic ichor flow from his nostrils. Swallowing the blood, the man could make out a prismatic tail readying for a finishing blow. Before the blue hoove could make contact again however, he grabbed a hoof in each hand and started to spin her around and around , building momentum with each passing second before finally releasing her. The her credit she did fly well into the treetops, and returned with murder in her eyes. For a moment he was sure she flew off into the distance, assured of his victory Captain reached down to pick up his glasses. After placing them upon his face he could see a rainbow colored streak in the distance growing ever larger. In front of the celeste mare Captain could see a cone of compressing air cracking with electricity. He felt for his hatchet, thankfully still in his belt loop after all this time. Cocking his arm back he prepared the steel head for a devastating blow against what he hoped would be the mare's head. Those few tense seconds seemed to strech into eternity, even the prismatic mane of the mare seemed to cease its movement.

"CAPTAIN WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" Shouted a familiar purple mare with a magically amplified voice.

A few seconds longer, and both combatants realized that neither was in control of their bodies, and a suspicious purple aura covered their bodies.

"Well what do you have to say for yourself mister?"

Captain despite all his struggling could scarcely breath much less move his jaw. He suspected rainbow maned pegasus was in similar distress.

"Oops here," said Twilight as she removed the spell from each of their heads, "now I repeat what the heck were you two doing fighting in the park."

"I was defending myself." Said Captain as he reflexively swallowed more of the blood, and tilted his head back enough for the blood to freely trickle down his throat.

"He was not. He was picking on Applebloom, Sweetiebelle, and what's her face." Spat Rainbow Dash.

"In my defense everyone on this damned planet feels like kicking my ass apparently. Even the children," he retorted.

"Why were you picking on the CMC Captain?" Asked Twilight, who was now absolutely livid.

"Those three," he said looking to the tree that the CMC was currently cowering behind, "claimed I was some sort of alien demon lab experiment, and decided to charge me. I was even polite about the first time. I got back up and then they rushed me again. That's when I started to juggle them. And then this crazy fucker comes out of nowhere and rams into me. I had every intention of putting the kids down after they agreed to stop pestering me."

"It's true every word," said a yellow filly as she peeked out from behind the tree.

"Applebloom you're absolutely sure that's what happened?" The other two assailants emerged from their hiding spot. "Sweetiebelle, Scootaloo is this true?"

"Yeah." Was their mumbled response.

"So Rainbow Dash what do you say happened?" Asked Twilight, turning her attention to the mid-air pegasus.

"I saw this jerk messing with the girls, I stepped in, we got into a fight, and I woulda won too." Responded the colorful mare.

"And not once either of you thought about talking things out."

"No." They said in unison before glaring at one another once again.

"And you three," Twilight said as she shared her attention among the three fillies, "not one of you thought it would be a good idea to stop this before one of them killed the other."

"Not really." Said the yellow filly, Applebloom.

"We sort of kinda got caught up in the excitement." Added the unicorn, Sweetiebelle.

"Plus we all knew that Rainbow Dash was gonna wipe the floor with this creep." Grinned the pegasus filly, Scootaloo. Her grin disappeared immediately however as it was met with a glare from Twilight.

"Now I want all of you to apologize to each other. NOW." She emphasized the final syllable with a stomp of her hoof.

Reluctantly the CMC mumbled their apologies to Captain, and Rainbow Dash before racing off, debating the outcome of the fight.

"And now you two."

"WHAT?" They both replied.

"You heard me. Now both of you apologize right now." The human, and pegasus only glared at one another. "Apologize. Now. Or neither of you are going to be able to sit down for a week after I'm through with you."

"S-sorry." Grumbled out the man.

"M-me too." Added the pegasus.

"See now was that so hard?"

"Yes actually. Now would you kindly let us go so that we can proceed to not kill each other."

With a flash the pegasus and human were sitting next to each other, as Twilight held out an ice cream cone to each one. With more than a hint of reluctance each took a cone and began to enjoy the tasty frozen treat.

"Now you two sit here while go get some more ice cream."

The lavender mare then trotted off to procure more frozen, flavoured, milk. For a few tense minutes after the unicorn had gone neither said a word, only the sound of ice cream being devoured was heard amid the din of the park.

"So you had some good moves there. Rainbow was it."

"Yeah. And you didn't do so bad yourself. Captain?"

"That's what everybody keeps calling me yeah. I gotta ask what was that last move you were gonna do there. It looked like some sort of crazy finisher."

"It's called a Sonic Rainboom. I'm one of the only pegasi who can actually pull it off. So what was that hammer thing you were going to throw back there?"

"What my hatchet?" He asked as he looked around for it, spotting it a few feet away. Picking it up he went back to the pegasus, and sat down in the dirt. "It's not really a weapon more like a tool." He explained as held it out for the mare to look at. "The blade's not really sharp, but with enough force it could cause some damage."

What Twilight saw upon her return almost brought a tear to her eye. Both were sitting there laughing,  and sharing stories. Trotting closer she wondered what sort of funny, inconsequential thing the two were talking about.

"... and I shit you not the cop then asked, 'Did you count how many times you got punched in the face?' Swear to god I looked him straight in the face and told him 'No I was too busy being punched in the face.'" Captain said earning a torrent of giggles from Rainbow.

"What were you two talking about?" Twilight asked as she handed out another round of cones.

"Captain here was just telling me about the time he went to jail. Why?"

"WHAT?"

"It was no big deal." Said Captain.

"So anyways I see you two are getting along now. How'd that happen?"

"As it turns out Capitan's a pretty cool guy once you get to know him."

"And Rainbow's pretty..." he stopped mid-sentence as a small trickle of blood dripped off of his face, and onto the floor.

"Captain we need to get you to a doctor quick. But I dont think any doctors in Ponyville cant treat a human." Exclaimed the violet mare .

"Maybe Fluttershy could help him? She's good with animals maybe she's treated monkeys before."

"At this point I'll take any help I can get," Captain replied as more blood dripped down his throat.

"Alright lets go quickly before you bleed out."

"I should come too. Just in case."

"No Rainbow. Dont worry about me. I've got my big boy pants on, and it'll take more than massive blood loss to kill me." Captain replied with a bloody smile.

"Alright if you're sure, but I'll see you at the library soon okay. I'll be sure to get more of those turnovers you like so much." With that the blue mare flapped her wings, and took off.

"Okay off to Butterfly's house we go." Said Captain as he stood, and took an uneasy step forward.