Captain's Travels

Rarity

Clip... Clop... Clip... Clop. These were the sounds that reverberated inside of Captain's skull. His music had long ago died, and the will to continue had left him. Now only the sounds of hooves pounding, and lazy feet shuffling across the stone road echoed in his mind.

"Uh Captain...," asked a concerned Twilight, "what's wrong?"

Captain only let out a soft moan in response as he pulled out his dead phone, and pointed at it limply.

"OOOOO what's this thing supposed to do?" Exclaimed the lavender unicorn as she took the device in her telekinetic grasp. As Twilight held his phone in her psychic grip, Captain saw a familiar green bar slowly creep across the screen. His mood brightened immediately, and he knelt down to hug the pony. The unexpected contact made Twilight lose her focus and drop the phone.

"Oops sorry Captain, here." She said as she gently picked it up with her hooves, and held it out to him.

Cautiously he took it. Turning it over he saw no scratches, and the small battery icon held a small shard of red at the base. Looking at it and then at her and back again, an idea formed within his mind. Captain pointed at Twilight's horn, and then to his phone. Twilight seemed to pick up on his intentions.

"So you want me to levitate this... thing, and judging from the icon it appears to be powering up. And from how you reacted, then this must mean that it's... some sort of life support system." She said with a grin.

"Si. Claro. Exactamente." [Yes. Clearly. Exactly.]

"In that case Captain I'll be glad to charge this uhh.."

"Telephono." [Telephone.]

"Teleblah-blah."

"Gracias." [Thank you.] He said as a palm met his face.

The pony and human had been wandering around a few minutes, with the earthy scent of the street vendors, and the open air market gradually giving way to more decorated shops. All sorts of gaudy perfumes hung in the air, the over decorated buildings felt in place with the rest of what Captain had seen around the rest of town.

"Ay guey se vomito un arcoiris aqui o que?" [Did a rainbow throw up in here or what?] Asked Captain as his eyes swept across the street. The unicorn only looked at him blankly.

"Se," Captain said waving his arms about, "vomito," he placed a fist to his mouth, and made a gesture that suggested spewing out, "un arcoiris," he placed his hads together above his head, and slowly arced them down around him, "aqui," he exclaimed as he pointed to th street. [I hope that by now you're learning something because I'm not translating that again.]

"Uh... did a rainbow throw up around here?" She asked with a shrug.

"Si." He nodded his head enthusiasticly.

"No I think Rainbow's been feeling fine lately. And how do you know her I haven't even introduced you two?"

"Ya vamonos entonces. Pinche loca." [Let's go already. Fucking crazy chick.] He mumbled.

Again the two were off in the direction of a somewhat pointy-ish building that kind of resembled a merry-go-round. The wind suddenly picked up a bit, and now Captain could smell the stink of rotting mollusks on him, and it was horrible. Before arriving at the door, he noticed a mirror standing just outside. His reflection, he noted, was a bit intimidating, his hair was disheveled, and his tinted glasses were casting long shadows across his face, as well as a frown that seemed plastered on his face. He thought nothing of it and belived the occupants of the house would be good, decent people who would never judge another on one's appearence.

Rasping on the door with a knuckle Captain waited next to the lavender equine expecting an answer.

"Who is it." Came a delicate sing-song voice.

"It's Twilight, I'm here to introduce you to someone, a new friend of mine. I was also hoping that you could do me a favor."

"Of course darling anything you ask. " she said as the door slid open revealing an alabaster unicorn with a deep purple mane done in flowing curls. That was Captain's first reaction to the creature on the opposite side of the door. Hers was.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!"

"FUCK YOU. I AM NOT THAT UGLY!" Retorted Captain.

TO BE CONTINUED.

Right now.

"Je ne parle pas l'anglaise. He said again with an uneasy smile.

"Wait a minute did he just speak Prench?" Asked the alabaster unicorn before scurrying off.

"I thought it was Spaneighsh, and Equestrian too by the looks of it." Said Twilight as she turned to face the human, lowering herself into a defensive stance. "Why did you do it?"

"Do what? Not say that I knew how to speak English or French."

"Yeah why did you lie to us? Why did you lie about not being able to communicate with us?" She asked, visibly hurt.

"If you will recall, none of you ever actually asked if I could speak English. They all assumed I couldn't, and you never bothered to ask." He replied with a sly smile. "Although I am sorry for deceiving you for so long,  but in all honesty I just thought that it was funny as hell." He said, a full blown grin had made its way across his face.

"Ugh... but... why?"

"Because it was hi-fucking-larious the way you were tripping around the communication barrier. Also you never wondered why I was able to respond correctly to your questions or statements without needing a translator. Seriously the signs were everywhere I'm just surprised you didn't pick up sooner."

"So-so this was all just a joke to you." She stammered out as fat tears began to well in the corners of her eyes.

Captain knelt down to eye level with Twilight. "I'm sorry for betraying our friendship I really am, but you've gotta know that at the beginning I was just scared. I mean I saw some sort of white flash, then I hit a tree on the way down. I was scrambling in the mud then when I got up I went to the nearest thing I saw, a hollowed out tree which I think was a library. Upon entering the building I saw a purple unicorn and a huge lizard. Now wouldn't you be scared if all of that happened to you?"

"I-I suppose. But why didn't you say anything after that? I mean after you calmed down."

"Well you did knock me out twice, lock me in your basement, and finally dragged me all over creation while introducing me to your other friends. Also you and that seafoam colored bitch wanted to trade me for nickels or some shit and you called me a test subject . So yeah that made me kind of mad. So naturally I had my guard up lest you try something funny. Again."

"I understand. But I'm still angry at you."

*CRUNCH*

"Oh don't mind me Twilight,  I was simply getting some refreshments for you and your new guest here." Said the marble unicorn as she snacked on a bowl of popcorn,  and sipped a glass of water.

"So then why's there only one glass, and why have you been sitting there for the last five minutes without saying a word?"

"Uh... well you see I've been in a bit of a creative slump lately, and I thought that a bit of drama might help me get out of it. As you can see I've go lots of inspiration now and I've got to get back to work. Sorry ta-ta I must bid you both adieu." She replied quickly.

"Wait Rarity. I needed to ask you something."

"Okay but could you please hurry I need to do the thing at the place. "

"I wanted to know if you could make Captain here a new ensemble. His current one is starting to smell a bit."

"Please," Captain added.

"Well I suppose I could clear my schedule and make an exception just this once. I must ask Twilight my dear what is that... thing you're carrying around?"

"Oh this thing, Captain wanted me to keep it in my telekinesis for some reason. It's not really a life support device is it?" Twilight asked flatly.

"Not really."

"Well then what is it?" Asked the lavender mare expectantly. "Is it some sort of alien beam weapon? How about a universal remote? Or maybe it's some sort of sonic emitting screwdriver."

"Actually while all of those things would be pretty badass its actually just a phone. I use it to talk to people far away, send messages, look at porn, and listen to music. Mostly the music. That's why I asked you to hold it it appears to charge when you hold it like that. And by the looks of it it's almost done charging. May I have it back please?"

"Of course here you go. Actually could I ask you a favor."

"Uh sure I guess what did you have in mind?"

"Could I listen to some of your music. I mean its not everyday you can listen to strange alien music."

"Could I trouble you for a chance to listen as well?"

"Why the hell not the more the merrier."

Carefully he fished  the earbuds out of his pocket, and placed one into the ears of the mares. Captain contemplated which song he should pick. After a few moments he decided on a song

"That was really amazing is all of your music like this?"

"Nah mostly it's a lot heavier, and scream-y-er. I could play one of those for you if you want."

"Uh later. Right now we've got to get you that outfit."

"Alright now mister..um." interrupted the white unicorn

"Call Captain everyone else appears to be doing so miss."

"Its lovely to meet you Captain. My mane is Rarity, and its a pleasure to meet you."

"Hey Captain now that you're not lying to my face about communicating, why dont you tell me you real name?" Piped up Twilight.

"I could, but if I uttered even a single syllable of my name it would be more than enough to drive you both insane."

"What really?" She looked skeptically.

"Not really but I just hate having people mispronounce my name."

"But were not people were ponies."

"Touchè. But later when all your friends are around I dont want to have to repeat myself."

"I'll hold you to it alright."

"Ahem if you are both quite finished we must get started. Captain if you would be so kind as to follow me we must take some measurements. Twilight feel free to sit in the parlor this may take a bit."

Quietly Rarity led Captain into the rear of the shop, and behind a screen.  Twilight could see their silhouettes behind the screen, Captain stood there open armed as Rarity lunged at him with a length of rope levitating above her.

"AAAAAAA. Oh god no not there. Those limbs arent supposed to bend that way." Twilight grimaced as the thought of her friend in discomfort drilled its way into her head. "Oh sweet Jesus not my sphincter."

Meanwhile behind the screen Captain was shouting expletives as Rarity took his measurements.

"Would you please stop yelling, this is all perfectly harmless." Rarity said as she put the measuring tape across his shoulders, and scribbled down some notes on a note pad.

"I know that and you know that, but Twilight doesn't need to know that." He replied with a smirk.

"Oh I see, a prank. What fun shall we ham it up a bit more then?"

"Why of course. Ladies first."

"Good then. Now. Bend over."
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