My Not So First Jump

    Alright, lets have a little recap,

    I am standing in front of a pissed off moon goddess of jealousy who knows me somehow,

    That all? Ok back to everything.

    “Guess who?” I said with a straight face.

    “Who?”

    “NOT ME!” I then jumped out of the closest window to me, may not have been the best plan but it kept me from getting zapped again. From there I clung to the wall as a explosion of dark energy come from the window, I think shes angry, should I ask? As I was contemplating this she flew out the window and looked around for me, not actually turning to the wall I was clinging to.

    “Where are you?!”

    “Not behind you thats for sure.” She then turned to me, which made me facepalm. “I said I WASN'T behind you!” I then thought I saw the formation of a smile? Weird, but she killed it just as fast as it appeared, and threw more lightning at me. I dove to the side and ran up the wall to avoid the now constant onslaught of anger lightning. “WHAT IS WITH YOU AND LIGHTNING!?”

    “You don’t like it! So its effective!” I did not expect an answer. My hesitation got me zapped again, my hp is dropping fast, I need a health potion.

    Wait, fuck, this isn’t a game!

    Time to get serious.

    I stopped suddenly and dropped off of the wall, falling towards the enraged moon goddess, who suddenly got a fearful look. She turned into a cloud of stars and shot past me, I turned to look upwards as she rematerialized. She sent a wave of dark energy down towards me. I planted my feet firmly on the wall and kicked off, having the energy destroy some of the ground instead of me. I stopped in mid air and shot up towards her, my hand extended to grab her. She turned into smoke again and went past me. “Getting real sick of your shit.” I spoke calmly and put my fist into the same wall I was running up beforehand. Watching where she was going, I pushed off the wall again and just as she materialized I tackled her, now dragging her with me down to the ground.

    “RELEASE ME!”

    “No,” I grabbed the back of her head and pushed her outwards as we got closer to the ground, she was smart though and turned into a cloud again, sending my hand into the ground and creating a rather large crater. I gazed up as the cloud ventured into a tower, also noting the flash in the main hall.

    “Twilight!” I heard a familiar voice, I think it was Rarity, maybe Applejack. But I wasn't paying much attention, I was in fight mode. I flew up to the top of the tower and dropkicked my way in through the ceiling, stopping both Nightmare Moon and Twilight in their tracks.

    “Dark? What are you doing here.” I ignored Twilight as I stared into the soul of the Moon goddess before me. While I was looking I thought I saw a cage of some kind, holding a shivering little filly inside.

    ‘Dah fwaq?’ I thought to myself and shook my head, I would deal with it later, right now I had to kick some flank. I reached forward quickly and grabbed her by the throat. ‘Maybe I can fix this now.’ I had to get out of fight mode, so I began trying to drain power from the alicorn, but received a quick hoof to the face. “GAHH!” I fell backwards and held my face. “Twilight! She hit me!” I turned to the purple unicorn, who still had some confusion on her face.

    “Umm, working on it.” She said and gasped. I spun around and saw Nightmare Moon smash some crystal rock things.

    “Well, damn.” I moped and got up. “Well I’m out of ideas.” I then began charging Nightmare Moon, with nothing better to do of course. The obvious happened, she zapped me again. “HOW FUCKING SHOCKING!” I yelled in pain. When I heard a giggle I shot my face up and saw the evil empress of evil was smiling and laughing at me.

    She knows my humor, TIME FOR A DISTRACTION!

    “Its like the everyone hates me or something! Thats like the 5th time this season I got electrocuted!” More laughter, excellent. “I need some damn cake...” Cake the the face, which surprised me a bit. I moved some of the moon fashioned cake out of my eyes and saw that it was Nightmare herself who threw it at me.

    So she did know me...

    I grinned. “Ok wise one, what's 2 divided by 0?”

    “You wanna kill us all?” She glared playfully at me, I think I’m getting somewhere.

    “Not as bad as being shocked 20 million times in one episode.” I countered.

    “Well, that may be true, you’ve stumped me, AGAIN!” She growled in frustration and shook her head, thinking I assume.

    “I have always been the best, you can not deny that.” I pointed out and wiped the rest of the cake off my face. “Well, I’m out of ideas again.” I sighed and pulled out my 3DS.

    “Oh! Let me play!”

    “Hell no I just got this.”

    “Lier!” By this time Twilight had gotten rather pissed.

    “I think we better get on with the story before Twi here blows a braincell.” I put the 3DS away and backed up, gesturing for Twilight to take the lead. While the main story went on for a moment the caged filly kept bugging me, like something wasn't suppose to be there.

    I think some interference happened.

    As Twilight finished with the Harmony thing and getting all their fancy necklaces and crown, I stepped forward. “Him me.”

    “What!?” Twilight looked at me as if I was mad, please!

    “Trust me, just do it!” I gave her the look I give everyone when I am completely serious.

    If I was going to do this, I needed a boost.

    Twilight, being one of those trusting ponies, nodded to her new friends and began charging the friendship cannon. Nightmare Moon, being scared already, got shocked at how I was making them shoot me. “Are you a idiot!?”

    “Maybe just a little, but I have a guess to go on.” I winked at her and was suddenly engulfed in color, which surprised me, I wasn't paying attention. I felt rather refreshed, but I couldn’t lounge right now, I went about absorbing as much power as I could, and when the ray of awesome rainbows stopped I was glowing, and had Dash’s mane colors. “Rather Stylish.” I said, my voice humming with power, this hadn't happened in a while.

    “See Rarity? I told you!” Dash laughed as she spoke to Rarity, whose eyes were glowing with envy at my glowing looks.

    You could say I was beaming.

    “Anyway, back to business.” I turned to Nightmare Moon, who began to shiver under my gaze. I extended my hand towards her and pointed at her. “By the name of the gods, Whom I served with much obedience and law breaking, I free you!” Trying to sound epic, I blasted her with the energy I had stored up, along with some of my own seal breaking magic.

    For the next 5 minutes I was blind, using that much power all at once had SOME drawbacks. What I could gather from what went on around my blind self was Celestia came in and began talking with who I guess was now Luna, and after some heart string tugging words they made up.

    This is where I got my sight back, and somehow I was in Ponyville with party decorations up. I knew all too well it was Pinkie’s doing, but who was I to complain? It was a party! So I instantly found the booze. It wasn't until everyone was heading for the town square did I realize something important was going to happen. I migrated with everyone to see Celestia and Luna about to take off. When I was spotted by Luna two things happened.

    one is that I finally got to see young Luna,

    and two I got tackled horn first in the stomach. Which ever merciful god made their horns dull must have known this day would come. The snuggles were a good thing though.

    “Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!” I love being a hero, this is what I get, the good feeling in your stomach from doing good and the praise you get from doing a job well done.

    “No problemo, go with your sister now and We’ll catch up later alright?” She gave me a slightly sad look but nodded and flew back to her sister, who was giving me the troll eyes.

    This may get bad in the future.