Chapter 15- NO F****** WAY

Chapter 15- NO FUCKEN WAY

Matts pov

WTF is with me and the weird ass dreams; well I hope this is a dream. If not, I am married to Rosie o’Donald .OH GOD BAD THOUGHT BAD THOUGHT. Well, time to wake up. Come on Matt, get out of the bed. I got up and walked over to the window. It looked like it was about 11 am. Wow I slept LATE, I wonder what happened to the 2 dumbasses. I hope AJ didn’t kill them. I’m not in the mood to go to a funeral. Wow, what is up with me today, I’m acting like Darth Vader. Must be a lack of bacon in the blood stream. I walked down the stairs and walked into a deserted kitchen. Wow, it really must be late. I walk over and pick an apple from a bowl and eat it. Danm I’m Hungary. I eat another apple and another. After about 10 apples, I finally feel full, and I feel fat. Let’s go see what’s happening out side.

I walked out the door and scanned the horizon for AJ or anyone. I couldn’t see anyone so I decided to go check the barn. Still no one was in there. Where the hell is everyone?

“YALL CALL THAT WORK, I COULD’VE BUCKED THE ENTIRE ORCHARD IN THAT TIME” yup, there’s AJ, but where’s Mac and Apple Bloom?

“Eeyup” and followed by giggling, check and check.

“You can’t treat me like this, I’M DUMBBELL.” Ah, so one of the dumbasses name is Dumbbell, good to know.

‘AH DON’T CARE WHO YALL ARE, YALL STOLE MY STUFF AND TRIED TO BLACKMAIL MA FRIEND” I heard a grunt of pain. Danm, never steal from AJ. I finally arrived at the sence of the crime. There were the 2 DA’s, hooked up to a plow and from the looks just plowed a field. AJ still looked really angry.

“Hey AJ, what’s going on?”

“Oh hey Matt, I was just tellen these theifs that they can’t plow worth dung.”

“OH, is this how they are going to repay you for stealing your stuff?”

“Ya, and they STILL GOT A LONG WAY TO GO SO KEEP PLOWEN!” she gave them the most evil look I have ever seen and they go back to plowing a HUGE field. I couldn’t help laugh when they went by me.

“You’re going to regret this THING, I’m going to make you pay for this.” Dumbbell said. I went next to them and whispered in his ear.

“Hit me with your best shot” I walked over to AJ.

“Hey Matt, would it be all right if yall took a cart of apples down to Sugercube corner?” She still looked pissed, so I thought it would be smart not to fight it.

“Sure, where is it?”

“It’s on the right side of the barn, yall can’t miss it.” And with that she turned back to yelling at the 2 pony’s. I ran up to the barn and found the cart, filled with apples. I remembered the route that Twilight had showed me that led to Ponyville.

After about 30 minutes of walking, I arrived in Ponyville. It was a nice day some everyone was out and about. They all smiled when I came in, so I guess they like me. I sorta failed after that and got lost. I never knew Ponyville was this big. After about another 10 minutes of searching, I finally found the shop. I knocked on the door and was greeted by Mr Cake. God I love his name.

“Oh hey Matt, is there something I can help you with?”

“Yeah, AJ told me to deliver this cart of apples to you.”

“Ah yes, thank you for the delivery, here’s your tip.” He handed me a small bag of money.

“Thank you so much Mr Cake.” He smiled and I left. Hmmm what to buy, my stomach seemed to know the answer. I had eaten nothing but apples for the past week, so I need a little protein. I looked around and saw a soup place. Hmm, what do you think stomach, it gurgled in response. i noticed that there was a line behind it. I got to the back of it and the line as it slowly moved up. I heard yelling and a pony walked out looking really angry. No, it could be. I had never been here, but this place looks really familiar. I finally got to the front of the line. There was only 1 pony in front of me. I looked at who the soup pony was and nearly died on the spot.  It took everything I had not to laugh, and I mean everything.

“NO SOUP FOR YOU, NOW GET OUT.”

NO FUCKEN WAY, IT’S THE FUCKEN SOUP NAZI IN PONY FORM. OH MY FUCKEN GOD. THIS JUST MADE MY LIFE COMPLETE. It took everything I had not to grin like an idiot or burst out laughing.

“Hello, I would like a large noddle soup.” He gave me a funny look but poured the soup. I suddenly remembered what Krammer did to make the soup nazi like him.

“Its sad that no one these days has any respect for the soup, you put all your effort into it and they still disrespect it. He gave me a funny look again.

“It’s good to find somepony or something that feels the same way as me about the soup.” He said.  One thing led to another and before I knew it, I had befriended the Soup Nazi. I took out the money and gave it to the pony manning the cash register. I took the soup and looked inside, it was filled with bread. I walked out of the place, and basically ran to Twilights house. I HAD BEFRIENDEDTHE SOUP NAZI. MY LIFE IS COMPLETE.I knocked on the door. She answered it.

“Oh hey Matt, what are you doing here” I couldn’t help myself anymore. I put the soup on the ground and started rolling on the floor laughing, scaring the crap out of Twilight.

“MATT, ARE YOU ALRIGHT, SPIKE COME DOWN QUICK, SOMETHING’S WRONG WITH MATT” I was laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe. Spike came down and looked at me with a look of utter confusion.

“Matt, you need to tell me what’s wrong, are you hurt” all I could manage to do was point and the bag and stumble out the word soup. I think that got to her and she finally realized I was laughing and not dying. Spike and Twilight helped me into a chair. It took me 10 minutes for me to calm down enough to talk, but I could make any clear words. I kept chuckling for at least another 20 minutes before I finally stopped, and could make clear words.

“Matt, what was so funny”

“I went to the local soup shop…” she cut me off

“Let me guess, he yelled at you and said” no soup for you” he’s such a jerk.” I laughed a bit, but it passed.

“Acutely, your wrong, I am now his best friend, look in the bag” she looked like she didn’t believe me, but then she saw the bread and her eyes went wide.

“He gave your bread, he never gives anypony bread. Hay, he even banned Pinkie and RD from coming in the shop.”

“Well I guess he likes me."

“Yeah, well you’re lucky, his soup really good, otherwise he would have been kicked out long ago”. Just then, RD flew though the open door and started to hover around us.

“Hey Matt I heard…you...had is that soup from his shop?” I could’t help but smile like an idiot.

“Yup, apparently I am his best friend and best costumer, why does he not like you?” She suddenly turned red and landed. She looked really angry. Uh oh.

“NOT LIKE, HE BANNED ME AND PINKIE FROM COMING IN HIS SHOP, AND ALL OF A SUDDEN 1 TRIP AND YOU’RE HIS BEST FRIEND. NOT FAIR.” Shes not that scary as AJ when she’s angry, but she’s up there.

“So I guess you don’t want any of this soup do you?” she suddenly backed up and turned the anger level down a few notches.

“I never said that.” I heard her mumble.

“ well it’s a good thing that I got a large, you can have  some of it if you want.” She suddenly perked up and ran and hug tackled me. I heard Twilight and spike giggle.

“Um, Dash, I can’t breathe.” She jumped back and blushed.

“Well if you 2 are done hugging, the soups getting cold.” She jumped to the table and started chowing down on the soup. Wow, she really likes that soup. I try it and I swear to you, it is the best soup I have ever had.

“HE EVEN GAVE YOU BREAD, LUCKY”

My time here was going to be fun.

Authors note

I just watch the soup nazi episode when this came to me, hope you like it.