Undead Waltz

by Jimmy the Grape

Arc 1; Die, Die, We All Pass Away: Chapter 3, Canterlot Blues 1/2

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Arc 1; Die, Die, We All Pass Away: Chapter 2, Metallic Wounds

        The slide had dropped me off into an open area with multiple paths that led further down. Some of the branches were sealed with iron doors. The sides were illuminated by small lanterns lining the walls. Looking around I was surprised to see that the room contained ten dogs, seven of them were wearing iron armor while three others seemed to look somewhat dignified.

They were standing around an unconscious black pegasus with a light blue mane. That must be Rumbles’ brother, the similarities were uncanny. The three dogs seemed to be arguing among one another, meaning I was able to stay hidden in the shadows as they kindly told me all I needed to know.

        “You stupid, Spot you killed pony!” One of the dogs, wearing a red vest with grey fur jabbed a claw at one of the dogs.

Said dog was wearing a grey vest with tan fur, and he started started growling. “No I didn't Rover it still alive.”

The other dog, the one who kept quiet so far, decided to speak up. “Rover, the pony isn't a unicorn how we find gems?”

        The red vested one, Rover, turned to the dog and sighed. “We’re not looking for gems, we need metal.”

        “We don’t have to find metal, simply leave.”

        “We don’t have a choice Fido, we need to find metal or we die.”

Wait they don’t want to do this? Hmm I’m insane, but... Let’s be nice. “Why?” I stood up as every dog turned towards me.

The guards pointed their spears at me fearfully and Spot, who was currently hiding behind Rover, pointed at me. “It’s the Dead Man!” Wait he really thought that was my fucking name? Holy fuck that’s hilarious.

        “Two things, one my name is not ‘Dead Man’ though that sounds amazing. Second thing, what do you mean by ‘we die?’”

The guards tilted their heads in confusion and Spot peaked out for Rover’s legs. “You’re not going to hurts us?” Let’s fuck with them....

I laughed evilly as the dogs flinched in fear. “Oh god no, I just came here to get him.” I pointed towards Rumbles brother. “And return him to the town.”

        “No he’s needed, or we die! The thing swore that we would!” Thing... Hmm... Let’s have a bit of fun....

        “Well then I kill the thing that would kill you and then the problem is solved!”

        They looked at me as if I had grown seven heads and just called their mothers sluts. “The thing killed five of our best dogs!”

        “And I knocked out just as many, so what do you say?” They all got into a huddle and whispered to each other as the guards kept their spears pointed at me. They weren't as nervous as before so I was making progress at least.

        They broke up and looked at me. “We accept, but you must kill the thing before we let pony go.” Huh. “If you come back alive, then we’ll believe you.”

        “Very well then.” Have I already mentioned I’m completely insane, well it’s true.

The guards lowered their weapons as the three walked towards a side pass. Following them, Rover spoke up. “About two weeks ago we had found some ruins, at first we were excited because we would be able to find more gems. However something was still down there, then we found the thing. Our best fighters went to kill it but they were killed and it grew stronger. We begged to live and it agreed on one condition, we bring it metal. The more we brought the more it wanted, when we were unable to bring more it devoured more. So we had to resort to getting ponies to mine more for us.”

Huh... So in other words bloodlust killer that I get to find. “Well then it looks like I’m going to do you a favor then.”

The dogs nodded. “If you do this then I swear we will be in your debt.”

        Oh cool, free favor. I wonder what I’ll ask for though....

        We kept silent until we reached an iron gate with warning symbols scratched on it. Rover stepped up and pulled a pair of keys from his vest pocket and unlocked the door. It opened outwards with a loud grating sound revealing a tunnel that led to darkness.

        He turned back to me with a frown. “It lies in the center of the ruins at the end of the tunnel, good luck Dead Man.” God.... Damn it.

        “So you’re staying here than?” What the fuck am I saying? Of course they are!

        “It would be best,” SEE! “simply knock three times after you kill it.” Three is the magic number~ .....GODDAMN IT SCHOOLHOUSE ROCK!!!!

        “Understood.” He simply looked at me and closed the door. Plunging my world into complete darkness.


After my vision had adjusted to the darkness I had started making my way towards the ruins. My progress was slow as I thought about the situation I had gotten myself into.

        ‘Why the hell did I even agree to kill this thing, it could be a giant monster with five hundred teeth for all I know. Hell maybe I can bargain with it?

        “That won’t work you know.” God fucking damn it! Turning I saw what appeared to be a human with a sunken in face and black hair. ‘Is that... Death?’ He smiled a little and nodded.

        I stepped back a little. “O...kay then. Why can’t I reason with it?”

        He frowned. “The thing the dogs found was a sentiment, why one is this far underground I have no idea. But the reason you can’t is because it’s a spirit that’s been overtaken by... Sadness, apparently.”

“So... Super depressed emo?” I shrugged a little.

        He looked at me seriously. “Do not take it lightly Michael, it can kill you if you are not prepared.”

        I blinked and nodded slowly. “Okay... Thank you?”

        He grinned. “No problem.” I blinked and he had vanished without a trace.

        Shaking my head I made my way down the tunnel and saw a small light off in the distance. Grinning I started walking a bit faster, making sure to go slow enough so that I wouldn’t fly like like a bird.

As soon as I reached the end I stopped in shock.

Beams of light came down through what appeared to be a lake in the ceiling. Occasionally what appeared to be a purple field shimmered across the bottom. Looking further I saw an old town made of stone that had various torn tapestries and a wall surrounding it.

I walked closer and started whistling the Lavender Town theme, causing it to echo off of the stone and travel throughout the cavern. I grinned as I walked up to the wall, which had a hole in it, and crawled through. Moving away from the wall I spotted multiple statues of men in different fighting positions, their faces frozen in bloodlust.... Fucking creepy shit right there.

As I got closer to the center of the town I could hear... an erhu, the fuck? In the center of the town was a fountain that had succumed to the passage of time, and multiple rotted wooden carts with people by them. However what held my attention was the woman sitting there playing the erhu. Her face was powdered and there was blue eyeliner surrounding her eyes, she also wore a long black dress with a blue colored cloth attached to her left arm. As she finished up the song I clapped my hands and she opened her eyes.

Seeing me clapping she stood up and smiled. “I am glad that someone can still enjoy the music I play. I take it you came here to fight me?” I nodded and she simply smiled. “Well then my name is Beth, please do not hold back on me.”

I pulled out my hammer and prepped it for battle. “I wouldn't dream on it.” I smashed the blunt end into her side, sending her skidding away.

        She flipped back onto her feet, dodged another one of my swings, and planted both of her feet into my back, sending me flying a few feet away from her. She appeared in front of me and slammed the shaft of her bow into my chest, sending me further back.

        I stumbled for a second giving her enough time to slash at my chest before jumping back. I growled a little and held up the hammer. “C'mere.” She moved forward and I dodged a swipe before slamming my handle into her chest, and finishing with a slam on the base of her neck.

        She screamed in rage and slashed at my legs before appearing behind me and repeatedly stabbing me in the back before lunging forward and kicking me a feet feet away. She held out her bow and slashed it upwards diagonally, causing a pillar of metal to hit me in the chest, and another to smash me into the ground stomach first.

        I groaned and glared at her before lifting myself up and panting. “Fuck...” I grinned and ran up to her, slamming the hammer into her again. However this time a weird black energy was coating the hammer, and it transferred into her with the hit and blasted out the other side leaving a hole.

        She flew a few feet away and tried cutting me again before I blocked it with my hammer and kicked her in the knee, releasing a snap and sending her to the ground. Stomping her to the ground I lifted the hammer into the air and smashed it into her head, the energy surrounding it again. Huh.... I kinda want to make up a name for it now... Hmm... I know! “Midnight Smash!”

She screamed one last time and began fading away, leaving a small silver ball in her place.

        “Well done Michael, I knew you could do it.” Death appeared in front of me and looked around. “And I see you found a lost city of Avalon, even better.”

“Thank you.” I shook my head and picked up the small silver ball. “Huh... What’s this?”

“A soul, more specifically a sentiment soul.” Death walked over and looked at it with a raised eyebrow. “In case you’re wondering sentiment souls allow you to use different abilities, powers, and sometimes tricks.” He leaned back and pointed to the ball. “That happens to give control over metals. A very interesting power I admit.”

        I looked down at the ball before shrugging and popping it in my mouth.... What? He said earlier that I can eat so- Holy shit it tastes so good! I closed my eyes as I felt a wave of cold wash over me shortly followed by a feeling of pleasure. Opening them again Death had disappeared and I felt like a million bucks!

        Wait... He said metals... I flicked my wrist as a small metal sword appeared in my hand. Giving it a couple swings I threw it and flicked my hand again, causing the blade to stop. I grinned widely and laughed as I swung and hit a couple walls. This is awesome! I’m like Magneto!

        I grabbed the sword in mid air and shifted it into a butterfly knife. “Well the moment has passed, back to work!” All I need is a balaclava and my disguise is complete!

Shaking my head I looked around and crushed the knife like it was butter. Looking at a collapsed building I saw a glimmer shine across the walls. Huh... What’s that?

Walking over I saw something that made me cream my coffee. Laying in the middle of the ruined building was a stack of about ten linen bags the size of my leg, one of them was torn open to reveal hundreds and thousands of gold coins.

        Let’s just say I filled all of my pockets with enough gold the make Bill Gates look poor.


The trip back hadn’t taken that long, strange considering the fact I must have been carrying about fifty pounds of gold in my pockets and even more on my shoulders. But nope, it actually took me less time to return. Maybe one of the perks of being a person who can now supposedly control metal.

        As soon as I reached the door I knocked on it three times. Well that’s what happened in my head, what really happened is that as soon as my fist hit the door it flew off of the doorway and impacted the other wall. The dogs looked at me in terror as I stood there smiling innocently.

        “You should craft your doors better.”

They simply blinked before Rover came up and grinned. “Did you deal with problem?” I nodded.

        “Would I be standing here if I didn’t?” I snapped back. “Now, if you remember the agreement.”

Rover nodded and beckoned me over towards the pony who was still unconscious. “He is not doing well, you need to take him.” I sighed and picked up Rumbles brother, slinging him over the bag of gold.

         I could hear his breathing getting shallow, shit.... “Want to help?”

Rover nodded and walked over towards the wall, and started digging a hole leading upwards diagonally. In less than a minute he had breached the surface and sunlight poured through. Nodding in thanks I quickly made my way up. Looking over my shoulder I yelled back. “Remember! I’ll call for the favor!”

They called back. “We’ll spread the word to the others! Just say you’re the Dead Man!”

I shook my head and reached the surface, the brother’s breathing slowly fading. SHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT! I fucking ran like a kenyan back to the town, using my powers to smash trees in my way. After a minute I made it once again to the outskirts, and turned to the hospital. I manipulated the metal and threw the doors open, allowing me to stop in front a a couple shocked ponies in doctors coats.

        I quickly held out Rumble’s brother. “Take him! His breathing is fading.”

        They quickly grabbed him in some form of sparkly shit and I sat down in a chair.

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