Cousin Vinyl

"And then she said 'there's no way you could make a dishwasher that cleans dishes with wubs!' And I was like, 'Screw that I'm Vinyl Scratch!'"

Vinyl "DJ-pon3" Scratch

Go visit my cousin for a week! It doesn't sound that bad right?! Visit my cousin, no biggie! I had time to waste and I had plenty of bits to spend! So why did everything have to just utterly EXPLODE LIKE IT DID?! I go to Ponyville for the first time in years and Twilight nearly destroys me, all because she can't take a little WUB WUB WUB! She needs to get laid something fierce, I mean, seriously, that pony is tied up tighter than Octavia was when we first started dating.

Anyway, I've sidetracked enough I'm just gonna tell you who I am, for those of you wub deprived fiends who don't listen to my music, I'm Vinyl Scratch, I make Wub-Step and DJ at nightclubs all across Equestria. I don't really have anything else to say, so I'll just continue on with my narrative.

This started three days ago, the week had gone spectacularly awesome and I was hanging out with my Aunt Twilight Velvet for an even more awesome weekend!

The living area was lit by a fireplace that burned brightly with a deep purple and blue magic fire that seemed to always be alight, a present from Twilight and Shining Armor that signified that they'd always be present in the home, even when away. The many clocks that Night Light, the patriarch of the family collected adorned the room, clicking and ticking as time moved forward.

We were sitting together in her living room and having tea, chatting about the many things that had happened recently from my music, Octavia and how she was doing, Shining's wedding to Cadence, and so forth, but once the conversation reached that point, where we talked about Twilight's move to Ponyville, things got a bit melancholy.

"So how do you think Twilight and Spike are doing?" I asked, stirring my tea with my spoon. Me not being a tea pony, I hadn't touched it and it was probably cold.

Time seemed to stop as I asked the question, the many clocks that adorned the living area of my aunt’s house suddenly silenced, the lavender in the fire seemed to lower to a dim cold bluish purple and I think a pin dropped, that question had caused the life to drain from not just my auntie’s face but the entirety of the house.

Auntie Velvet looked up from the transcript she was writing and just smiled sweetly at me. "Well, from the periodic letters we get from her she seems to be doing alright, and Night Light and I are incredibly happy she has made her own way in the world..." She let the sentence just drag off as she looked back down at her work with a frown.

I didn't know what to say and I didn't want to make her even sadder or more melancholy than she already was, it was clear that Twilight Sparkle was a very touchy subject for her, her husband, and her house, so I changed the subject onto something she'd like to talk about, her book. "So aunty, what's this book about?" I asked with a grin.

She seemed to lighten up a bit, even though the house stayed deader than a doorknob on Hearths Warming day and smiled, not taking her eyes off of the script "Oh, well it's about my main character Daring Doo..." she cut off again, this time more abruptly and she looked up to me, it was then I noticed how old my auntie looked; she had stress lines all across her eyes and a few wrinkles near her mouth and cheeks.

I knew I should have just shut up and enjoyed my tea, I should have just let my Aunt ask her own questions so I wouldn't have had to bring up such a touchy subject, but of course me being Vinyl Scratch, me knowing what I should do and what I actually do don't exactly tie in together.

"You know, I based the character of my series off of one of Twilight's friends and Twilight herself," she explained, using her magic to put the manuscript back in its place.

I brought the tea up to my lips and sipped it, it was cold and I tried to keep my smile up. "Oh?"

"Oh yes, Twilight told me about her Pegasus friend Rainbow Dash and how she was athletic and always pushing herself to be the best, she also told me about how miss Dash was adventurous and looking for danger," She looked at an old picture of Twilight and Spike playing with Cadence and Celestia, a ghost of a smile appeared on her lips.

"I then added in Twilight's brains and problem solving abilities, I tried thinking about all the things Twilight had gone through and used that to mold the character Daring Doo, the build of Miss Dash and the mind of Twilight Sparkle put into one character." I saw a few tears fall onto the picture.

I wanted her to stop talking, I wanted her to just put the photo away and just stop remembering, but I knew she couldn't, she just continued with her words, eyes filled with tears. "I wrote all of my novels that year, Twilight had been in Ponyville you see. Celestia, bless her heart, would send us all of Twilight's letters and reports and we knew that she was happy and healthy." I wanted to get up and hug her, but I let her continue.

"I know it's silly, writing books to help ease the soul and mind, to base a character off of your own daughter to fill that void in your heart that opens up, but it was how I coped with the emptiness of this home, first my son goes off to play soldier," She pointed to the golden armor hanging on a stand, there was no coldness in her voice, only sadness "Like his grandfather and your father before him."

She then pointed to a crown that occupied the space over the fireplace, it was a replica of the Element of Magic made for Twilight's family, as a reminder of what Twilight had accomplished in her relatively short lifetime. "And Twilight goes off to become a hero, and the best sorceress this family has seen since the days of Clover the Clever."

Well I had just learned something new! Aunty Velvet missed her children dearly, and she needs to get a hobby, maybe knitting.

I was caught between a rock and a hard place, what could I, the magnificent and amazing DJ Vinyl Scratch, do to help out my aunt in need? I had to think of something fast or else... and then it hit me! I could go visit Twily for them! get some new info and pictures and stuff and maybe force Twilight to come visit more often! That way Velvet wouldn't be depressed any more or sick with worry and Twilight gets to visit more often, it was brilliant!

So, without thinking my plan completely through, I pounced. "Hey Aunty, I have an idea, why don't I go visit her for ya!" I flashed my world famous 'I'm not bullshitting you smile'. "After all, I've been meaning to go down to Ponyville for a while now, it would be no problem!" I was technically lying, I had no real plans to go down to the little village, the only real reason I could think of for going is to stop her from being sad, but hey she didn't need to know that.

Velvet's mood drastically changed from despair to ecstatic orgasmic happiness the moment I told her that I could visit her daughter in Ponyville "Really?!" She nearly jumped from her seat!

"Ya, it’s not a problem, Aunty," I try and keep my smile from faltering. "I just need to clear it with ‘Tavi and then I'll be in Ponyville lickidy split!"

It was at that exact moment that Twilight Velvet, current matriarch of the house Twilight, decided to take me in her hooves and hug me, crying like a filly fresh out of the womb. "Thank you so much Vinyl, thank you!" By Luna's over-encumbered lunar ovaries she was strong! It felt like a bear was breaking every bone in my body and then repairing them then breaking them again!

"Aunty, squeezing, soul, hurt, stop!" I shouted, trying to get out of my aunt’s bear-like grip, it is thanks to this that I will no longer hug anyone.... ever.

Finally she let go and smiled sheepishly at me, drying her tears "I'm sorry Vinyl dear, its just Oh!" she grabs me into a hug again and begins squeezing "I'm just SOOOOO happy! you have no idea how much this means to me!"

"I... it’s fine!" I push her off of me as gently as I could and try to regain my breath, by the love of Celestia's creamy love juices she was more than strong, she was scary strong! No wonder her kids never misbehaved, they didn't want to receive one of those monstrosities she called a hug!

Is it at all possible for wrinkles to disappear? Is it?! Because I was looking at a totally different pony than my aunt, she looked younger, her wrinkles seemed to vanish and she had a bit more pep in her step as she went about rambling about the many things she wanted me to do and ask when I saw Twily.

"Now I know where Twilight gets her form of crazy," I muttered.

"Ohhh and you'll need to bring plenty of money and..." by the stars above she was still ranting! I hadn't really been paying attention to her until I noticed she had packed gear for me, a HU FREAKIN’ MUNGOUS backpack with almost everything you can think of in it, I think I saw a fireplace, burning peacefully inside.

Thinking quickly I shouted "Aunty! I am perfectly capable of packing my own things, and I think they won't let me take any of this on the train anyway," I used my magic to unpack the backpack while I spoke, "I'll take care of my own packing and everything okay?"

Velvet's face turned beet red when she realized what she had done. "Oh I'm sorry Vinyl, I don't know what came over me, I guess I'm still in mother mode, huh?"

"You have no idea," I mumbled. When I finished unpacking, I turned around to face her. "Now don't you worry your head Aunty, I'll come see you before I leave and I'll write to you when I get to Twilight's house. You just sit and relax okay?"

She looked like she was on the verge of hugging me again, and I really didn't want that to happen, so instead I stood and said "Hey Aunty, I need to go and tell ‘Tavi about my plans, thank you for having me over and I'll see you in a few days okay?" She nodded looking like she was ready to explode from lack of hugs, but I didn't care I just turned and left the home.

After getting out of earshot of my Aunty’s house, my brain finally caved in and fear replaced confidence.

I had a BIG problem on my hooves now, How was I going to make this work? I had the spell frequency that Spike sent his messages through thanks to Shining Armor, but how was I going to tell Octavia that I would be going to Ponyville, the village of her younger sister Pinkie Pie and a place she literally crossed off on ALL of my globes and concert lists, making me promise that I'd never go to the town under promise of painful death if I did.

I would have collapsed then and there out of fear, but I had made a promise to a much scarier mare than Octavia and I needed to keep it, I just needed to come up with an excuse that wouldn't get me killed.

No pressure, right?